Blueeyeddevil06, thank you for being my beta!

Both Mamorus sat in the apartment staring at each other. Current Mamoru sighed in frustration, "You can't explain how to access the Golden Crystal by saying I should just reach inside myself and 'feel' it. That doesn't help —at all. I've tried for four hours and it's not working."

"I don't know how to explain it better. I've had some type of access to the crystal for almost two and a half years. I don't remember what it was like when I first reached out to it."

"I'm guessing trauma helped you access the crystal. The point is for me to not go through that."

He then sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "You know the dreams she's been having. You heard her scream out last night."

"Trust me, I want to stop them just as much as you do. I love her too."

"I just wish I knew how to stop them."

He dropped his face into his hands and sighed. Usagi had been dreaming of a screeching youma, the one that was to have killed her, advancing on her. Everytime, just as it struck out at her, she'd wake terrified. Last night she woke up screaming. She had felt it touch her in her dream this time. He didn't know how thehell that was possible.

Every night he'd caress her back as she drifted back to sleep and he'd stay awake for over an hour worried about her and ensuring himself that she didn't have another nightmare. That and he'd whisper over and over that he would keep her safe.

Every free minute he had he worked on trying to access the Golden Crystal. He needs to protect her, and when the other him disappears, he would need to continue to keep her safe. He was still worried that the youma and Beryl wouldn't give up, and she could still be killed.

He just wished there was a way to access the crystal that wasn't brought on by overwhelming grief. At least, he assumed that was what had happened.

He looked up at the other him and opened his eyes wide in shock. "Wait, what if that's the answer? The grief."

"I'm not following how that matters to us—now."

"Can you sort of share your memories of what you went through? Maybe I'll also get a glimpse into how to access the Golden Crystal."

Future Momaru shook his head adamantly, "No, no way. The point is for you to not have to experience that."

"It would be condensed, and I would do anything to save her life. Even glimpse hell. Wouldn't you?"

He knew he wasn't challenging him and that he knew the answer was yes. They would both do anything for her. "Fine, but… we better do this before she gets out of school and shows up here. No way would she be okay with you doing this."

It took another hour, this time of future Mamoru trying to work with his Golden Crystal, for him to be able to share his memories.

The moment current Mamoru began receiving the memories, he started screaming, and tears poured down his face. By the time future Mamoru did it, he was trembling on the floor in the fetal position.

When he regained control of his fine motor system, he held out his palm, and a globe of golden light hovered there. "It worked."

"How are you?"

He picked himself up off the floor and stared at his feet. "Terrible. But it worked, and that's all that matters. When you disappear, part of you will live on with Usagi. I feel a bit of you inside of me right now. It feels like an open wound."

"That sounds accurate. Thank you. I… it makes a difference to me," he then cleared his throat because he was choked up.

"You weren't kidding. You went through hell."

Then in an attempt to lighten the mood, he joked, "And I remember class too. Is this like cheating?"

"Ha! No. Maybe this way, you'll have more time to devote to Usagi."

"True."

The amount of screaming in the apartment that night made them both cringe. They were right. Usagi was not happy with what they did.

"Wasn't the point that he wasn't going to have to suffer?! This isn't how I want to be helped!" She stomped her foot in emphasis.

"I have to get access to the crystal."

"We have weeks!"

"But, he still has to practice with his powers and learn to fight alongside of you all," future Mamoru argued, sounding sheepish.

"Excuses! Dumb excuses. And look at him now," she said, gesturing to her Mamoru in frustration. "He has the same haunted look in his eyes that you do. I don't want that for either of you!"

He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry you're upset, but now I know even more clearly what I avoided. Stop yelling at me, please. I know it's not fair, but I can't handle your anger right now. Can you schedule it for tomorrow to scream at me? I just need to hold you."

She settled into his arms. "You're not the only one in the relationship who wants to protect the one they love."

"I know, but Usako, you did die, and I can't let that happen again. I would do anything for you, even this. Especially this. His sacrifice and his effort won't get swept away. I'll remember him."

He felt her relax entirely in his arms. "I need you, and until I met you, I didn't think I needed anyone."

She looked up at him, smiling and misty-eyed. "I need you too."

He kissed her nose and looked over to the other Mamoru and noticed he wasn't standing there anymore. She looked around in shock and then reached out with his Golden Crystal.

"He's gone," he whispered out.

Usagi pulled out of his embrace and looked around the room, startled. "How? Where did he go?"

"I think his past changed enough that he disappeared. After all, now I can heal you."

"I didn't get to say goodbye."

He pulled her back into his arms and said, "You don't have to; part of him will always be with me."