Author's Notes: Things are beginning to come to a breaking point for our dear Padawan! More wily-Maul in this chapter. Will Caleb stay strong?😨
Recovery was slow. It was a whole day before he regained the use of his limbs, and even then, his body felt like he'd been trying to move boulders uphill without the Force. His brain was just as muddled. His thoughts felt like the slow-moving sludge he'd seen coming out of Coruscant sewage tubes, and his eyes couldn't seem to stay open longer than a few hours.
Maul was more confusing than ever. He tended Caleb's wounds with a gentleness he never would've thought to see from one whose life had been dedicated to the Dark Side.
What scared him more though was how comfortable he was becoming with it. The boundaries of what he used to think was a "safe distance" had been drastically altered. First, out of necessity, when Caleb was unable to do anything for himself. Then it just… didn't stop. He was allowed to join them for meals, eating their rations together at the small table. He was allowed some time in the cockpit, just watching the stars, Maul often in the other chair. Sometimes they sat quietly, sometimes Maul told tales of the planets he had been to.
Sometimes when Caleb lay awake at night, the blurred lines of his relationship with these men scared him. He convinced himself that it was just survival. He was still recovering, he needed help… but really, he couldn't go back in that cell. Not full time. It had been more than two weeks, with no sign of his Master or Republic troops, and he was tired of being alone. No, not just tired, he admitted to himself. I'm scared. He knew he should relinquish these feelings to the Force. Knew that fear was dangerous. Master Yoda never shut up about it. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. And hate leads to suffering. AKA the Dark Side. Force, I've only been a Padawan for a few months though! I don't- I don't know how-
Caleb lay awake at night, and wished with all his heart for his Master's kind guidance. How do I let go?
He was sitting in the copilot's chair. The rough fabric caught his skin slightly as he pushed himself up to get a better look at an asteroid zooming by. What are you doing out here all by yourself, little guy? So far from any more of your kind. He sighed, sitting back down. So I've started relating to asteroids now. Fantastic.
The door behind him whooshed open, and he heard the familiar clunk, clunk as Maul took the pilot's seat. He kept his gaze decidedly on the window.
But there was something he needed to know.
"Maul?"
"Yes, Caleb?"
"I need to know something… and I need to know that you'll tell me the truth."
He could practically hear the self-satisfied smile in his captor's voice when he answered, "Of course! I wouldn't dream of doing anything else."
Caleb shut his eyes tight. "Before… before I… left. Did we leave the escape pod?"
Maul didn't answer for a second. Then Caleb's real question appeared to dawn on him. "Aaaahh. You want to know if I tried to evade your Master. Well, I can tell you that we did not. Except for when we came to rescue you, we have remained in the same sector of space as your pod. And when we left it to chase after you, we left a beacon behind to watch for any ships that might show up while we were gone."
He opened his eyes, picked a star and stared straight at it. Needed something to focus on other than the swooping feeling in his gut. Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance… yet knowledge. P-passion, yet serenity. Ch-chaos, yet… yet… The familiar mantra brought him no comfort. He blinked back wetness.
Of course, Maul could see right through him. "Caleb. How long are you going to keep up this charade? It's been almost three weeks since I found you close to death in that escape pod. We have only left the area once in all that time, and when we did, we took measures so that we would still be discoverable. I hate to say I told you so…"
But you actually don't, Caleb thought bitterly. It couldn't be true. Master Billaba would not have left him for dead, would not have left him on his own all this time. Of course, you only have the word of an ex-Sith to say that any of that is true.
"I can sense your rising emotions, Padawan. You try to hide them behind the Jedi façade of calmness and serenity… but below the surface, your belief in the Jedi is starting to decay. Your belief in your former Master. I can feel the anger beginning to rise up in its place. Anger that you've been forgotten, left behind… left alone." Maul reached out a hand, Caleb fighting the urge to flinch as it came to rest on his shoulder. "You are not alone, Caleb. I am here. To be your friend, to take care of you… unlike your former Master. My offer of friendship is always open."
He remained silent, staring at the stars.