A Dream of Madness
Downstairs, Zak tossed on the bed, his mind fighting against something he was unfamiliar with. He had been in his trance...but now something deeper was calling, something he wasn't sure he wanted to have to deal with. He struggled against it a little longer, before it overwhelmed him, and he fell into sleep.
tick tick tick tick
It was the most annoying noise echoing in otherwise dark, blissful silence.
tick tick tick tick
It wouldn't stop, no matter how much he tried to will it away. He growled in annoyance.
tick tick tick tick
"Most people lose their minds listening to this." A voice echoed around him. "In some places, this is considered a torture. They can't make it stop. It breaks their minds in two. Other places use water dripping. A fascinating concept, really. How something so small and insignificant can cause strong things to fall into little, itty, bitty pieces. Pieces I use to play checkers with. I once used the pieces of an Argonian against Sheogorath. He complained for days that there were lizard bits in his chair!"
Zak's eyes opened and he sat up, turning to see who was speaking to him. He felt Ebonarm's presence beside him, resonating with a sort of exasperated fondness.
The room around him was plain, save for a desk and a chair, a clock ticking merrily on the desk. A human woman sat behind the desk, dark hair long on one side and cut short on the other. Her makeup was dark and intimidating on the shaved side, and light on the other. Her clothes, too, were divided, dark leather on one side and bright and flowing on the other.
"Welcome to the waiting room." She said. Even her eyes were two different colors, one darker, the other lighter.. "It is so good to see you again, you old codger! I was starting to think you were avoiding our checkers game. Though after the incident with the guar cheese...I avoided Dementia for a while myself. Guar cheese. I should have hung him by a naval string for that."
"Who are you?" Zak stared at her.
"I am Sheogorath. Or at least, I am right now. I am Sheogorath whenever Sheogorath is not around. And he is not around right now. For once, it is because he chose to be. Not because I killed him again. He finds it funny when I do." She said. "Though, the old knight gets exasperated. And I do like him. So you may call me Nikki."
"Nikki." He stared at her warily.
"It's all right," Ebornarm said behind him. "She won't harm you. Attempt to drive you mad, well, that goes without saying. But she won't hurt you."
"You travel with an old friend of Sheogorath's. You have survived him. You'll survive me," she said. "Though, as much fun as I have making the warriors cry and then start laughing when I set toads on fire, we do not have time for fun things, do we, ser Knight?"
"No," Ebonarm answered, while Zak blinked dumbly and tried to figure out what was going on. "We do not. Bal has revealed his hand."
"We know. It's why you are here with me and not choking in front of that damned banquet of cheese!" She slapped the table. "I hate cheese! Why couldn't he like cake? I love cake..."
"Combine the two," Ebonarm suggested, his voice sounding as though he was trying not to laugh.
"Now you are ruining...oh wait I like cheesecake..." Nikki said. "I once made enough to cover Dementia and dropped everyone in it! Cheesecake for everyone!" She cackled uproariously.
"Focus, Nikki," Ebonarm said gently. "You can enjoy your cheesecake after you reveal to my champion here why you called him."
Zak, indeed, looked as though he was trying to figure out where the nearest exit was, and whether or not surreptitious flight was possible.
"Oh! Yes. See, I need you to pass a message." Nikki said, suddenly serious again. "Sheogorath is off shutting things down and being Sheogorath up here...so I'm going to go down there and be Sheogorath down with you!"
"What?" He stared at her. "What are you..."
"She is saying she intends to return to Mundus and fight alongside the rest of us," Ebonarm said.
"Two in two places! It'll be fun!" She said. "You have all the serious, boring ones with you. You need some fun! Plus, when another of those ugly, cursed things show up, I can help you strangle it with its entrails!"
"I...see."
"I was also told Sheogorath had a...helper in mind?" Ebonarm sounded as though he'd just raised an eyebrow.
"Oh yes. He loves him because I do. Tell Nevano to do...the thing." She said, waving her hands.
"All...right." Zak was still trying to figure out the fastest way to run as soon as her back was turned.
"Skittish, isn't he? Like a frog by a fire." Nikki cackled again.
"I have reason to be." Admittedly, most of Lolth's priestesses weren't this...cheerful, but all the same…
"Will you deliver it now, or when you arrive?" Ebonarm asked. Zak almost envied how unconcerned he was.
"You are not there. You are here. Also, you belong to him." Nikki pointed to Ebonarm. "So, you are not a resident. Nor will you be. Unless you go mad. But I think the old knight likes you too much. Tell Nevano when you see him. He'll get to it. It's so hard to talk to him now. Azura doesn't want him going too crazy. Such a spoilsport. I miss talking to him. We'll have fun when I get there! See you soon! Knight! You owe me a checkers game! Don't forget!"
"I will not." Zak felt the pressure of an arm on his shoulder. "And I will remind you of the message to pass on once you wake up. It was good to see you again, Nikki; once there is leisure for it, we will have the checkers game." The strange room began to dissolve around him, and he heard the voice speak one last time. "Awaken, Zaknafein."
One last voice echoed in the darkness. "This will be fun."