It had been a few days since he had the nightmare that had frozen his blood ice cold. It left him screaming and shaking. Once he had assured Armin he was fine, Eren began that morning with a frown that never left his face until the day after.
All of the cadets were on a break, enjoying their free time. Armin and Mikasa had decided to spend time at the lake after he told them he wanted some time for himself. They didn't push any further, already used to his new reclusive behavior.
Eren now sat alone on his bed, holding the basement key in his hand.
He stared at it pensively, rubbing it slowly with his thumb. It was a motion that always helped ease his nerves, a habit during his training days of his past life, lasting even after the Rumbling.
The key was what led to the beginning of everything... and the end.
The discovery of a new world... and the destruction of it.
Priorities were shifted, views altered, and empathy found.
It was the last thing given to him by Grisha. It represented a memory of his childhood and acted as the catalyst of his transition into a man, a king, and a father.
He used to believe that the kiss he gave Historia's hand was the start of the new him but when he found out there was humanity outside the walls, he was...
Disappointed.
Disillusioned.
A selfish part of him wished that it was all over after the basement, that there would be no one else. All he wanted was just land and sea stretching into the horizon, filled with sights to explore and bask in the beauty of. It wasn't what Armin's book had led him to believe.
He couldn't act as the ignorant child anymore, he had pushed his selfish desires within himself and didn't share it to anyone except Historia...
and that innocent boy from the market.
His disappointment was only enhanced by what he saw within his future memories.
Rage and denial was his first reaction.
He hated himself for doing what he did in the future. Eren could not believe he would ever do something that ruthless.
But as he fell in love, lived under the enemy's roof, and listened to the cheers for the extermination of his home, his friends, his family, he finally began to understand.
No matter how much he tried to change what he saw, it always ended up the same way. Sasha's death, saving the boy, protecting Historia, opposing his friends and comrades... those realities would never change because it was what he had wanted.
It was his nature for he was born that way. He had always sought freedom even if he was never free since his birth, trapped by walls, humanity's ire, and Titans. If someone sought to take his freedom from him, he would always fight back. It was just who he was. It was the core of Eren Yeager.
One can not oppose their own will, especially if they have seen it themselves. He learned this lesson in the most gruesome way possible, a lesson that ended in slaughter and an ocean of bones, flesh and blood.
He saw those visions and could never change them, could never change his future. If he could, then those visions would have never happened in the first place. It was a cycle, from what he saw and what he sent. It was never supposed to end.
He wasn't supposed to know anything, to remain ignorant until the discovery of humanity beyond the walls and the visions of his destiny.
Which was why waking up knowing what's to come long before the return to Shiganshina was surprising.
He did not know why he was given this new start or who gave him it to him.
He had believed it was always supposed to end one way up until his death, with the survival of Paradis and the destruction of everyone outside it.
Now that he was here, given a new chance, some things had to change... many things.
He could never repeat the same atrocities he had committed in the name of Paradis and survival.
Eren had already lived that life. He could not stain his hands again in sin and blood.
He needed to give back, to save as many as he could, and somehow find a compromise between both sides.
His mind drifted to Erwin Smith.
The loss of the 13th commander was a tremendous blow to Paradis.
Everything began to go downhill from there.
Hange was not capable of leading and Eren had only learned when it was too late. He needed to keep Erwin alive so when the time comes, he could then coordinate with the man to determine a new route for Paradis's survival.
Eren tightened his grip on the key, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled.
He then stored his key back into his storage box.
With his nightmares tucked deep behind the back of his thoughts and his nerves relaxed, he stood up and left the cabin, heading for the lake.