Chapter 10- Derailed, September, 1995
September 1, 1995
The pounding was relentless, but whether it was the stampede of feet running up and down the stairs in a flurry of morning activity or the throbbing of her own head was hard for Mariah to decide. Scales tipped in favor of her head as her door burst open unceremoniously and she pulled her blankets over her head with a loud groan.
"What the fuck do you waaaant?" she moaned, distinguishing two ginger heads through her bleary vision.
"Morning! Just grabbing the goods, and then we'll be out of your hair," said Fred, starting to clear numerous empty bottles off of Mariah's trunk.
"Although we may have to fight our way out from the looks of it," said George, laughing as Mariah sat up, exposing a haystack of messy brown hair.
"Oh I feel sick," muttered Mariah as a wave of nausea rocked her, punctuated by another throb from her head.
"Better put a silencer on that, Fred, just in case anything woke up," said George industriously, gesturing at the trunk.
"Good call," said Fred, tapping it with his wand.
"We're off, then," said George, grinning at Mariah.
"Have fun at school," said Mariah, holding herself steady. "Don't do anything...you would normally do…" She leaned suddenly over the far side of her bed and retched onto the floor.
"Likewise," said Fred, and George rummaged in his pocket. Mariah felt around for her wand in the twisted sheets, and saw George place a small purple candy on the bedspread.
"Fully tested and functional," he said, pointing at it. "On us."
They backed out of the room, levitating the trunk ahead of them, and with the door open Mariah could hear Molly barking orders all the way from the first floor, her commands mixing shrilly with the screams of Sirius's mother. Her head pounded heavily as she extricated her wand from the sheets near her foot and vanished the vomit on the floor.
Her stomach felt less nauseous, but a cold anxiety gripped her tightly as the events of the previous evening flooded back, and she groaned. No longer numb to the shock, she felt absolutely miserable at the idea of facing Sirius, let alone anyone else that day. Cursing Fred and George for leaving the door open, Mariah clambered out of bed to close it, only to see Moody marching up towards the landing, breathing heavily with every loud footfall of his wooden stump.
"Jaeger! Get dressed, Sturgis Podmore never showed up and we need you for the guard. If you can walk, that is," he added, his blue eye swiveling to the side to take in her room through the wall as he reached the landing, no doubt absorbing the sheer number of discarded butterbeer bottles that littered the floor, and every available surface.
"Sir, yes, sir," croaked Mariah hoarsely, feeling exceedingly miserable, and Moody glared at her, turning to head back down.
"Five minutes!" he barked.
Despite closing the door, Mariah waited until the sound of Moody's stump reached the lower floor before grabbing a silver trophy bowl from Regulus's shelves and puking again. She wiped her mouth, sitting back down on the bed, and grabbed the purple Puking Pastille the twins had left, swallowing it quickly.
Seven minutes later she was dressed, her hair roughly brushed and pulled back, stumbling out of 12 Grimmauld Place onto the street with Fred, George, Ginny, and Remus.
"You're lucky Mum left already, you look a sight," teased George.
"Blame Sturgis Podmore for not showing up," grumbled Mariah. "I'd planned to sleep in."
"You always sleep in," said Ginny.
Mariah caught Remus looking at her, but avoided his eyes, wishing desperately that she had sunglasses despite the cloudy September sky. She had very mixed feelings about Remus in light of Sirius's revelations, and while every inch of her felt like screaming at him, she could hardly confront him when she had done exactly the same thing. 'Pot, kettle, Jaeger,' Sirius had said. She felt like throwing up again.
They reached King's Cross without incident, and crossed the barrier onto Platform 9 ¾ without attracting attention, although Mariah had gotten a few looks as they had made their way through the station. Ginny, Fred, and George quickly found Molly and began to board the train as Moody arrived with their trunks. Mariah kept her distance from Molly, not wanting to be caught in a crossfire of aggravated transit bluster due to her sloppy appearance. She spotted Harry and moved to attempt a somewhat dignified goodbye, but stopped when she saw a large black dog rear on its hind legs and place its paws on his shoulders.
"He came with us?" she asked Remus in alarm, forgetting for a moment that she wasn't speaking to him. Remus shrugged.
"It's probably fine," he said reassuringly. "Are you alright?"
Mariah opened her mouth, and then closed it again, her venomous thoughts hitting the brick wall of her guilt again.
"Never better," she said, her cold shoulder freezing up again. "I'm gonna walk around a bit. Sober up." She headed in the opposite direction from the group towards the front of the train, and Remus went to say his own farewells. Mariah wove through the hustle and bustle of children, trunks, owls, cats, rats, toads, mothers, fathers, and other assorted bodies boarding the train, exiting the train, leaning out of the train, and otherwise moving chaotically with the energy of a person who has simultaneously remembered and forgotten something on their to-do list. The Puking Pastille had worked surprisingly well on her stomach, but her headache still throbbed ruefully, and she was exhausted from a long and sleepless night filled with drinking.
After a second trolley cart ran over her foot, she extricated herself from the chaos and leaned up against one of the solid stone walls safely out of the way, her eyes landing on a first year girl who barely came up over the window's edge bidding her tearful mother goodbye. She remembered when she had been that age. Her mother had put her directly on the train and they had said goodbye through the window. Her father had cried, despite having been reeling with excitement from the minute they passed through the barrier. She had been so embarrassed of him as he had pointed at every older female student and said, "Look, that could be you in a few years. You're going to be a witch, Mari!"
"She already is a witch," her mother had replied sternly. From the first time she had found Mariah levitating to the tops of the trees in her backyard, she had enthusiastically begun teaching Mariah magic, specifically potions, due to Mariah's lack of a wand or an education, as well as the many uses of the wild plants that grew near their house – which were safe for eating and which were used for magic. By the time Devon had moved in with them when she was 9, the household had been filled with magic books and experiments. She had been so proud watching Mariah head into her first year at Hogwarts.
And then, in Mariah's third year, her mother had left them to pursue curse-breaking opportunities abroad. She had written them for a year, sending postcards of all the places she had been. But eventually the calls stopped, then the letters, and eventually Mariah had stopped waiting.
The little girl's mother passed her a stuffed rabbit through the train window and the little girl grabbed it sharply, plunging it out of sight within her compartment, blushing and looking around to see if anyone had seen. Her eyes met Mariah's and Mariah looked away, back at where Harry and the others had boarded the train, but she was counting on her fingers. Thirteen.
The train whistled shrilly and began to move. Down the platform, a bark caught Mariah's attention and she spotted Sirius running along the train, leaping and wagging his tail. Students were leaning out of the windows to get a better look at him, laughing as they departed.
Mariah moved to intercept him, but a long cane caught her in the midriff and she looked up to see a man with long white-blonde hair and piercing blue eyes smirking at her.
"Pardon me, I didn't realize it was custom for disgraced Hogwarts faculty to make an appearance of the first day of school," he said, baring very white teeth in what quite didn't make the cut of a smile. "A werewolf, a madman, and a quack walk into a train station. Sounds like the beginning of a joke."
"And you are?" asked Mariah. The man lowered his walking stick, but did not offer his hand.
"A concerned parent," he said in a very silky voice. "Funny, seeing a dog that wild running loose in London. You should have enough sense to keep him on a shorter leash."
Mariah looked beyond the man. Sirius had reached the end of the tunnel where the train had just slid out of sight, staring after it from the edge of the platform.
"Not my dog," she said, glancing back at him. He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Oh?" he asked. "Because I could have sworn that I'd seen this dog before, specifically at the Ministry of Magic a few weeks ago. And I can think of a few people who would find it very intriguing why a Mudblood with your history would be escorting a dangerous creature into our very government center."
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Mariah sharply. The man smirked at her. She stepped backwards to put some space between herself and the man – and his cane – and bumped right into Moody.
"Problem, Malfoy?" He asked, wrinkling his misshapen nose. Lucius Malfoy grimaced.
"My congratulations on your speedy recovery," he said with distaste. "I didn't expect you to be back at work quite so soon."
"No rest for the wicked, aye?" grunted Moody, his blue eye swiveling to look at Lucius. With a cold smile, Lucius turned and walked away without another word, joining his wife where she waited near the Crabbe and Goyle families.
"Thank you," breathed Mariah, but Moody was fixing her with a sharp look with both eyes.
"Did he do anything to you?" he asked, and Mariah shook her head.
"No, but we need to get him out of here," she said, jerking her head at Sirius, who was galloping back toward a displeased Molly and an amused Remus.
"I think we all need to get out of here," muttered Moody. "I'll grab him, same groups, meet back at the house in a half hour."
September 7, 1995
The first week of September started off on a bad foot. They had returned from the train station where Moody had informed Molly about the run-in with Lucius Malfoy, and she and Sirius had argued so badly that she had resolved to move back to the Burrow. True to her word, after a quick sweep of the odds and ends left in the rush with which the children had departed for school, they had awoken one morning to find that she'd left without so much as a goodbye. Arthur dropped in some evenings for reports from the Ministry, but he rarely stayed for dinner, and soon Moody was dispatched on a mission with Bill, which left Mariah, Sirius, and Remus in the house alone.
No longer compelled to apply to Ministry jobs, Mariah spent four days shut up in her room, staring at the ceiling and debating her options. She couldn't deny that she missed St. Mungo's. There had been parts of the job that had annoyed her, but being a Healer had definitely been her calling. She missed feeling good at her job, and most of all she missed feeling useful. So far she had avoided writing to her workplace to check on the status of her temporary unpaid leave, fearing that if she prompted them for a response, they would fire her outright to avoid prolonging the situation. And despite what she had said to Sirius, she had been turning Kurt's offer over and over in her head since their day at the Ministry.
She had absolutely no desire to end up in Kurt's pocket again, but a position in the Obliviation office could be helpful to the Order, especially in such proximity to Kurt. She knew other Order members would be skeptical, but as long as Dumbledore believed in her, they would follow suit, and she could finally prove herself trustworthy. She was getting tired of the sidelong glances that sometimes followed her at meetings.
Mariah mulled over the idea. Harry had not mentioned Kurt in his report of the graveyard, according to Dumbledore, but they couldn't be sure Kurt hadn't returned when the Dark Mark had burned on his arm. It could be useful to keep an eye on him. And she did miss feeling useful.
Mariah could already imagine Sirius's response, but, she thought vengefully, if he really didn't think there was anything left between them, there was very little he could do to stop her.
Saturday morning, she awoke to Walburgha Black's screams from the first floor, and when it did not cease, she ventured downstairs to find Remus holding Sirius back from hitting a very smug looking Snape.
"He can't ground me, I'm not a child!" Sirius was yelling over his mother's portrait's shrieks.
"Then think of it like house arrest for a criminal," said Snape, enjoying himself a little too much.
"What's happened?" hissed Mariah, trying to shut the curtains over the portrait. The screaming died down.
"He was seen," said Snape, holding up a Daily Prophet. " 'The Ministry of Magic has received a tip-off from a reliable source that Sirius Black, notorious mass murderer, is currently hiding in London.' "
"Bullshit," seethed Sirius. Mariah took the paper from Snape, scanning the page.
"Dumbledore has sent me to pass on the order that he stay out of sight for the foreseeable future," continued Snape.
"Lucius Malfoy," muttered Mariah. "He recognized you on the platform."
"So what, they spot me every other month," said Sirius, shrugging Remus off.
"Not in London," said Remus. "Sirius, I think Dumbledore's right. You need to lie low."
"What do you think I've been doing all this time?" exclaimed Sirius wildly. Mariah shushed them, eyeing Walburgha's portrait and gesturing downstairs to the kitchen.
"I'm just the messenger," said Snape, shrugging delightedly. "So I'll be on my way."
"Oh, are you sure you don't want to stay?" asked Mariah dryly. Snape smirked, and Disapparated with a crack that set Walburgha screaming once more.
Once she had calmed the portrait down again, Mariah entered the kitchen where Remus had forced Sirius into a chair with a mug of tea. She glanced again at the Prophet that lay open on the table and did a double-take as another name caught her eye.
TRESPASS AT MINISTRY
Sturgis Podmore, 38, of number two, Laburnum Gardens, Clapham, has appeared in front of the Wizengamot charged with trespass and attempted robbery at the Ministry of Magic on 31st August. Podmore was arrested by Ministry of Magic watchwizard Eric Munch, who found him attempting to force his way through a top-security door at one o'clock in the morning. Podmore, who refused to speak in his own defense, was convicted on both charges and sentenced to six months in Azkaban.
"Sturgis was arrested?" she exclaimed.
"We got the news last night," said Remus. "We think someone had him under the Imperius curse."
"Shit," said Mariah, mentally reviewing their numbers. "That means we only have Arthur, Bill, Tonks, Moody, and Kingsley on rotation at the Department of Mysteries."
"It's going to be tight," said Remus.
"Unless…" said Mariah slowly, and Sirius shot her a sharp glance.
"Unless what?" asked Remus curiously.
"Unless nothing," said Sirius.
"Kurt offered me a job in the Obliviation office," said Mariah slowly, looking only at Remus.
"And she's not taking it," said Sirius, but Remus looked thoughtful.
"Do you think you could handle him?" he asked. Mariah nodded.
"He'll be expecting me to be sullen and desperate, and I am sullen and desperate. It's perfect," she said. Remus made a noise of approval.
"This might be the only time Kurt Lovell has ever been useful," he mused.
"Should I write him and accept, then?" asked Mariah.
"You should get approval from Dumbledore at tomorrow's meeting, first," said Remus warningly.
"This isn't your only option, Mariah," growled Sirius. "Don't do this."
"It's my choice," said Mariah, finally looking at him. "It's what's best for the Order right now."
"Then take me with you," said Sirius. "He's already seen you with a dog."
"When did he see you?" asked Remus, frowning, but Mariah shook her head.
"Absolutely not, Sirius. You're worried about my association with you putting me at a disadvantage? If Peter's told them you're an Animagus and Malfoy's clocked you in the street, I can hardly start showing up everywhere with a huge black dog at my heels. I'd be putting you in just as much danger."
"Not to mention that Dumbledore just ordered you to stay hidden," piped in Remus.
"It will be more suspicious if you only show up with a dog once," said Sirius.
"Sirius, I'm taking this job," said Mariah. "Alone."
"It's my life to gamble," said Sirius. Mariah rolled her eyes.
"If you want to go back to Azkaban, you know where the door is," she said, turning to exit the kitchen.
"Mariah," said Remus, and she turned to look at him. Sirius glanced between them, hopeful. "Don't write him until you're back from your mission with Bill Weasley," he finished. "You don't want to open yourself up to any scrutiny."
"Right," said Mariah, a little uneasy. Sirius stared at his tea, silent but furious. Mariah turned and made her way back upstairs, feeling for the first time in a long time like she had taken a step in the right direction.
September 8, 1995
The change of heart worked quickly on her lethargy. Mariah spent her day vanishing bottles and cleaning Regulus's room, much to the surprise of the photo of the Slytherin Quidditch team on the wall. She spotted a black-and-white Regulus Black reluctantly handing a bag of coins to another teammate. Mariah had packed the majority of her things to return home, wary that the Ministry would have tabs on her commute for her first month or two. Dumbledore had approved her request at that evening's meeting, much to Sirius's dismay (and Molly's ire). She would join Bill for their mission that week and write Kurt upon her return, accepting the offer.
In the evening she loaded up a crate of full Butterbeer bottles and descended the stairs to the kitchen. She had thought about taking them home and drinking them, but wanted to detox before heading on the road with Bill Weasley. She had no doubt how much she would want to be drunk after they met with Roxana, but she had no desire to meet the curse-breaker at anything less than her fighting weight.
At first she thought the kitchen was empty, but the walls flickered with an eerie green light that made Mariah frown. She kept a tight grip on the crate, taking slow steps so as not to knock the bottles against each other, and peered inside.
The fireplace was ablaze with green flames, and a figure was crouched on all fours with his head directly in the hearth. Mariah heard Sirius's voice and set the crate down on the kitchen table as quietly as she could, listening hard over the crackle of the flames to make out what he was saying.
"...When's your next Hogsmeade weekend anyway? I was thinking, we got away with the dog disguise at the station, didn't we? I thought we could–"
Mariah heard a loud "NO!" from within the flames.
"Oh that," said Sirius, "they're always guessing where I am, they haven't really got a clue–" He paused, and Mariah heard murmuring on the other end of the Floo connection. "All right, all right, I've got the point. Just an idea, thought you might like to get together–"
Mariah spotted an open letter on the table, then, and stepped towards it so that she could read it in the light from the fire.
Dear Snuffles,
Hope you're okay, the first week back here's been terrible, I'm really glad it's the weekend. We've got a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Umbridge. She's nearly as nice as your mum. I'm writing because that thing I wrote to you about last summer happened again last night when I was doing a detention with Umbridge. We're all missing our biggest friend, we hope he'll be back soon. Please write back quickly.
Best, Harry
"You're less like your father than I thought," said Sirius suddenly. "The risk would've been what made it fun for James."
Mariah looked at him sharply, and cleared her throat, picking up the letter so that it made a sound. She saw Sirius glance over his shoulder.
"Well, I'd better get going, I can hear Kreacher coming down the stairs," he said. "I'll write to tell you a time I can make it back into the fire, then, shall I? If you can stand to risk it?"
Sirius pulled his head from the fire with that, and the flames turned back to a golden health that no longer matched the tension in the room. He sat back on his heels, and looked around at Mariah.
"What was that?" asked Mariah. Sirius rolled his shoulders, stiff from crouching, and got to his feet.
"Just calling on my godson. But don't worry, he's as chicken as the rest of you. I'm not going anywhere." He tugged the letter free from her hand and headed to the stairs.
"He's not chicken, Sirius, he's fifteen," said Mariah. "And doesn't need a catty thirty-five-year-old telling him he doesn't take enough risks. The boy takes enough risks as it is, he was in the Triwizard Tournament last year for Merlin's sake!"
"And he was fine. If James–" started Sirius.
"You can't compare him to James, James never had anyone trying to kill him," exclaimed Mariah.
"Didn't he?" asked Sirius, glaring at her. Mariah let out her breath.
"What did Harry want? What's the 'thing from last summer' in that letter?" she asked.
She thought for a moment Sirius would refuse to tell her, but then he answered, "His scar was hurting. He thought it might have to do with Umbridge, but I doubt it."
"Umbridge the legislator?" asked Mariah. Sirius nodded.
"She's teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts this year, on assignment from Fudge, making sure none of them learn real magic to defend themselves."
"Why does he think it's Umbridge?" asked Mariah.
"He was in detention with her when it happened, thought she might be a Death Eater," said Sirius.
"Detention? It's the first week!" exclaimed Mariah.
"So what? If I was in that class with her for a teacher I'd have landed myself in detention, too!"
"And do you want him to be like you?" asked Mariah. Sirius frowned.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked. Mariah shook her head.
"Look, Sirius, you can be as disappointed as you want with me and Remus for not sneaking out with you under Dumbledore's nose, but Harry's a kid. You can't put your shit on him!"
"I'm not putting anything on him," said Sirius. Mariah gave him a look.
"The boy writes you a letter, which he's already not supposed to do, he's in detention with Fudge's figurehead, he was nearly expelled for defending himself and had to have a hearing, and you're mad because he won't sneak off to play with you in Hogsmeade? Grow up, Sirius, you're the parent now, not the playmate!"
"What are you Mum now? You sound like Molly," said Sirius, glowering. Mariah's face hardened.
"You build up James as a standard for him to live up to, and he'll always fall short. It'll just make you both miserable," she said sharply. Sirius said nothing. After a moment Mariah sighed, softening. "I'm sorry you have to be stuck here on your own. If I could do anything, I would. But I won't risk your safety again," she said.
Sirius turned away from her, shoving the letter in his pocket and moving to put away the Floo powder.
"Leave it out," said Mariah softly. "I have to head home before the mission."
Sirius put the pot of powder back on the mantle with an overtly loud thunk, and headed out of the kitchen. Mariah tried to think of something reassuring to say, but anything that came to mind sounded like a lie, so she stayed silent, and waited for Sirius to close the door to his room before heading up to get her trunk.