"How do you read that rubbish?" Hermione asked as she looked up from Lily's desk.
"It's not rubbish," Lily said as she flipped the page of her magazine.
"Teen Witch Weekly? Not rubbish? Have you seen what they print?"
"Of course I have, Hermione," Lily said with a hum. "I'm reading it right now, aren't I?"
"Why are you even subscribed to them?"
"I like it!" Lily said. She collected pictures from them, as a matter of fact, ever since they printed one of her hugging Lavender Brown last year. She had them all in a little scrapbook, in her treasure box where nobody would ever find them. She'd die of embarrassment if they did.
"Why?" Hermione asked with a snort. "Fancy looking at all their lists of 'Most Handsome Wizards of the Century?'"
"Not bloody likely," Lily said. "I like looking at all the beauty tips and advice. See, look at this girl! Isn't she pretty?"
Lily leaned over the side of her mattress, holding the page out for Hermione to see. She was reading an article about this fall's upcoming fashions when she happened upon a page that looked very much like Angelina Johnson, albeit wearing more fancy robes rather than the fit, sporty outfits the Quidditch player wore in real life.
"You know, Lily," Hermione said as she took the paper into her own hands, "I don't think most people buy this rag to look at the pretty girls. They're just there to advertise whatever product the publisher is pushing that issue."
"Right, of course not," Lily said quickly, hopping up from her bed to bury her face in her wardrobe. "I don't either. That'd be strange. I just like reading about- err- potions."
She'd have to cancel that subscription and hide her scrapbook better. She thought she could get away with it under the pretense of just admiring how the other girls looked, but she should have known it would never work out that way. It was really a shame she paid for the full year up front to save some money in the long run.
"There's actually potions in here?" Hermione asked as she took Lily's spot on her bed. Lily pulled back her hair with both hands, fighting to make it manageable but still pretty. It was very important that a witch always looked her best (she may have learned that from the magazine she'd just been reading).
"Of course, there are," she said through clenched teeth (she was using them to hold a hair tie). "Healthy Hair Tonic and Clear Skin Cream and all that."
"Right," Hermione said, sounding disappointed. "I should have known. And how many of those have you made?"
"All of them," Lily admitted. "I send the surplus to Lavender. The skin cream is actually really nice, got rid of all my acne in no time flat."
"You had acne? I've never seen you have any."
"On my back, yeah," Lily said, lifting her shirt slightly just to show her (mostly) clear skin off.
"Interesting," Hermione said. Lily thought she sounded bored.
"There's got be a better way to do this," Lily said as she snapped her hair tie to the back of her head. Somedays, it felt like her hair was fighting against her every step of the way, just dying to be as bushy and unwieldly as Hermione's. Sometimes, with a little force of will, she could get it to lay a little flatter, even without the help of any product. Sometimes, when she was feeling especially sleepy in the morning just after getting up, she could swear it was slightly brown or sometimes even black, but that usually cleared after rubbing her eyes.
"You could always braid it," Hermione suggested helpfully from Lily's mattress, where she was now reading Lily's magazine.
"And look like Greengrass?" Lily said with a snort. "Hard pass." Not to mention that it'd be a complete nightmare. She'd have to get up much earlier every day just to get it done. Besides, it was already bad enough that she'd worn the robe the girl sent. Taking it a step further seemed like too much.
"Then why let it bother you?"
"No reason," Lily said, feeling her face flush. "I just- I just wanted to look cute."
You look so pretty with your hair tied up, Katie said. Lily shook the thoughts out of her head. She wasn't even going to be there, and Lily already made her decision months ago. She was not going to be any more of a freak than she already was.
"Right," Hermione said with a sly smile on her lips. "You just want to look cute on the same day you visit Cedric."
"Oh, shut up," Lily said, tossing one of the socks she was attempting to pull on at the girl. "It's not for him, it's for- well, it's for me."
"And the makeup?" Hermione asked curiously.
"It's just lipstick!" Lily said, catching the sock as Hermione tossed it back. "Really, just because you never wear anything doesn't mean- you know what, never mind that's mean."
"Glad you realized after you already said it," Hermione said with a sniff.
"Oh, don't be like that," Lily said, finally pulling the sock up her leg. "You sure you don't want to come?"
"No offense, Lily," Hermione said, flipping a page on her magazine. "But one of the things I'm most looking forward to about Beauxbatons is not having to spend hours every weekend watching you play Quidditch."
"No more sitting around and waiting for me, then?" Lily said, trying to ignore how sad that thought made her. She fastened her lightning bolt earrings to her lobes. They were red and sparkly, fashioned with rubies. She tried to ignore the connotations those shared with Katie as well. She was wearing them way before she got involved with the other girl.
"We'll be roommates, Lily," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "I'm sure we'll see enough of each other."
"I should get going," Lily said, pulling on her trainers.
"You're going out like that?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Like what?" Lily asked, taking a glance at herself. She was wearing a t-shirt and athletic shorts, just like she had been every day. They were very comfortable, especially on her runs with Sirius.
"Nothing," Hermione said with a smirk. "You look very cute."
"I should get going," Lily said again, more cautiously this time, as she picked up her Firebolt from where it was resting (leaning against her wardrobe).
"There you are, dear," Mrs. Diggory said as she Floo'd into the sitting room. "Cedric's already out at the pitch with the Asaris. Do you remember where it is?"
"Yeah," Lily said happily, taking a look around the room. It was just how she remembered it, although much cleaner than the first time. She supposed they did have more advanced warning this time around. The furniture was even far less musty than it was before, perhaps even updated to be a bit more modern. She didn't trust her memory enough to say for certain.
"You look lovely, dear," Mrs. Diggory said, placing a hand fondly on Lily's arm. "I made biscuits, if you'd like to have some before you head on down."
I just ate, Lily thought, trying desperately to fight against the rumbling in her stomach at the mere thought of food.
"I'd love some," Lily said, losing that particular battle.
She was still eating down her handful of crispy biscuits as she made her way down to the field. They were quite good, although a bit dry. It was unfortunate that she had to turn down the tea. She didn't have enough hands to carry all of that.
There were three specks already in the sky when she finally arrived, sucking the crumbs off her fingertips. One of them dove down quickly upon spotting her. She recognized the blurred form of Sae even before she reined up next to, lips curled into a fond smile.
"I was wondering if you were going to show up, Potter," Sae said. She was wearing her Slytherin Quidditch robes, Cedric and Daisuke wearing their Hufflepuff ones far up high. Lily was starting to feel very underdressed.
"Why wouldn't I?" Lily said to distract herself.
"Thought you might be a bit nervous," Sae said with a wink.
"What?" Lily asked, completely confused.
Finally, the other two dots came down: Sae's brother, Daisuke Asari, and Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain, Cedric Diggory.
"Hey," Cedric said, a stupid smile across his handsome face. "Glad you could make it."
"Why wouldn't I?" Lily said again, this time her voice higher pitched. "This whole thing was my idea, I'll have you know."
"Sorry we're intruding on your private time, Gryffindor," Sae said with a wink as she shot back into the air, her brother following closely behind.
"Hope mum didn't bother you none," Cedric said, rubbing the back of his head.
"She's a very nice lady," Lily said fondly. "Gave me some biscuits!"
"Her and dad, they're- well, they've got their hopes up."
"About what?" Lily asked.
"Nothing," Cedric said his cheeks a rosy red. "There aren't enough for us for a full game, but we can do doubles, if you want."
"Just so long as I'm not playing Keeper," Lily said. "It'd be a shame to waste all this broom."
"About that," Cedric said. "You mind if I ride it for a turn? Never even seen a Firebolt before you showed up with one."
"Just so long as you don't hurt the poor girl," Lily said nervously, handing the broom over very carefully.
"Wouldn't dream of it," Cedric said with a smile. "Replacing it would drain dad's life savings, he'd have to sell me off."
"You're letting him ride it?" Sae asked once they were both in the air. "Blimey, Gryffindor, you wouldn't even let me."
"I did too!" Lily said, her eyes tracking Cedric and her precious broom as he took it for a spin.
"Just once!"
"And that's all he's getting, too."
"Well, he'll owe you big after this one," Sae said with a smile. "You're off to a great start."
"Start to what?" Lily asked.
"Nothing!" Sae said with a laugh. "Blimey, Potter, I don't know how you can be so oblivious."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Lily said.
"What do you think about Cedric?" Sae asked, pointing towards the boy. He was tossing a Quaffle back and forth with Daisuke, testing out Lily's broom (there was no way she'd let him ride it during an actual game).
"He's nice," Lily said with a shrug. "Needs to stop diving so much on my broom, though. Might slip right off."
"Potter, I've seen you do greater dives than that."
"And I'm a better flyer, aren't I?"
"This isn't what I meant," Sae said with a sigh. "I meant what do you think about him?"
"He's nice, I just said that," Lily said.
"Never mind, Gryffindor," Sae said, rolling her eyes. "I think you might be a lost cause."
"That's not very nice."
"You'll be on his team," Sae said, pointing towards Cedric again. "Dai and I are partners. You should get to know him better!"
"Why?" Lily asked. "Because we're neighbours?"
"Sure, Potter. That's why."
"You know, you could just tell me."
"I'll think you'll find out soon enough," Sae said with a wink as she sped off.
"Hey!" Lily said as she went after the girl, hunched over the foreign broom.
Sae and Daisuke ended up not staying for very long. After just two hours, they had to leave, leaving Lily alone with Cedric.
"Have fun," Sae said with a wink as they departed.
As they watched the two dots vanish along the forested path, Cedric and Lily hovered awkwardly next to each other. Lily was too busy trying to figure out what Sae kept hinting at (as well as what the girl needed her autograph for), while Cedric seemed to be refusing to look at her.
Well, that wasn't entirely true. He was looking at her all the time. Just not whenever she happened to be looking over at him. She could see how he kept tearing his gaze away, always scratching at his nose.
"What?" she said after the tenth time, withholding the Quaffle in her lap. "Should I go?"
"No!" Cedric said quickly, his eyes widening slightly.
"Then why do you keep looking at me like that?" Lily said.
"Like what?" Cedric said.
"Like you want to say something," Lily said. "Been reading the papers, have you?" They were really blasting her, now, with more and more details of her previous record coming out. Mr. Weasley and Percy were hardly seen around the home at all, the Ministry in such a panic to find where the leak was coming from.
Lily was just doing her best to ignore the situation entirely, although it was very difficult to do once the letters started coming. As it turns out, the entirety of Magical Britain thinking she was a traitor resulted in some very nasty things.
"You look nice," Cedric said awkwardly. "That's all I wanted to say."
"You're not getting another turn on my broom," Lily said with a smile. "No need to turn up the flattery."
"No, really," Cedric said. "I mean it. You look really pretty."
"Thanks?" Lily said, tossing the Quaffle at him. "Want to go another round?"
"You're on," Cedric said, returning the smile.
The sun was beginning to descend across the horizon when they finally called it quits. Lily, for one, was really not looking forward to the hike back to the house. Her legs were stiff from overuse. This was the most she'd pushed herself all summer, but, well, practicing with Cedric was nice. He didn't complain about how much better her broom was nearly as much as the Weasleys did.
As a prize, she even let him ride it a few more times, although she made a mental note to never mention that to anybody else. It was good practice, anyway. It reminded her that she couldn't always count on being much faster than the people she was playing against.
Lily scratched at her sweaty scar as they walked along the shaded path, her broom occasionally bouncing against the side of her leg. She noticed Cedric staring at her again from the corner of her eyes, but when she turned, he looked away.
"What?" she said again, playfully punching him on the arm.
"Was that supposed to hurt?" Cedric said with a smile, tapping her back on hers.
"I'll have you know I can take you," Lily said, throwing another one. "Sirius has been teaching me to box."
"I could tell there was something like that," Cedric said, eyes glancing down at her arms. "You look- well, bigger, really."
Lily flexed for him, just to show off. "Nice, aren't they? Ron's been poking fun at them, but I think he's just jealous that he's so scrawny."
"You look great," Cedric said.
"Ron thinks I'll have to switch positions soon," Lily said, brushing a bit of hair out of her eyes. "Says I'm getting too big to play Seeker."
"You're not that big," Cedric said, playfully squeezing on her bicep. "I'm still bigger, and I play Seeker."
"Careful, there," Lily said. "I did say I could take you."
"Only 'cause I'd let you," Cedric said.
"Oh, you want to bet on that?"
"I'll have you know that I can hit the bludger further than either of my beaters," Cedric said. "Not really fair, though, since they're almost as scrawny as you are."
"You just complimented me on my arms!"
Cedric laughed. "I said you were bigger, I didn't say you were strong."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Lily asked.
"Let's just say I don't think you need to worry about playing Beater anytime soon," Cedric said with a wink.
"I think somebody wants another one," Lily said, punching his arm again. Cedric just laughed.
"If it makes you feel better, you've got me beat in the flying department," Cedric said. "Don't think I've ever seen somebody fly as naturally as you do."
"Couldn't keep your eyes off me, could you?" Lily said.
"Not at all," Cedric said, looking away and scratching at his nose again.
"You're not half bad yourself," Lily said. "You really need to work on those dives, though. If you keep thinking you'll crash into the ground, you probably will."
"How do you do it, then?"
"I just go," Lily said with a shrug, using one hand to demonstrate a dive. "I let my body do the thinking for me. It seems to know what to do."
Cedric laughed again. "That sounds like something only you could come up with. 'Emerald Blur,' indeed."
"I preferred 'Green Goddess,' personally," Lily said.
"I did too," Cedric said. "Far more fitting."
Lily laughed, this time. "Are you saying you'd worship me?"
"I already have a little altar in my room," Cedric said.
"I knew I shouldn't have left my hairbrush here," Lily said, giving him one last, softer punch.
"Hey," Cedric said after a brief pause, "can I ask you something?"
"You just did."
"You know what I meant."
"Go ahead," Lily said with a shrug. "I don't bite."
Cedric scratched at his nose again. "To be honest, I meant to ask you all day, but- err-"
"Well, if you don't get to it, I don't think you ever will," Lily said.
"What's with the knee brace?" Cedric said after an awkward pause, pointing down at her leg, where the black material was hugging the joint.
"Oh," Lily said. "I hurt the blasted thing last year, really nasty. It's to- you know what, I'll just show you."
"What?" Cedric asked, but Lily was already sitting on a nearby fallen log (Firebolt leaning gently on a nearby tree), pulling the slick brace down her leg.
"See?" Lily asked, tossing the brace at him. "It's got strength runes all along the inside. They don't do much, but they offer more support than it would otherwise."
"Your knee looks fine to me," Cedric said, poking at the pale flesh with a finger. Lily playfully smacked his hand aside when he went to do it again.
"You should have seen it right after," she said, snatching her brace back out of his hand and tugging it over her leg. "Nasty looking."
"What are you still wearing it for?" Cedric asked.
"Got to," Lily said, feeling a bit embarrassed. "It was really bad. Think your mum has any of those biscuits left?"
"That depends on how many you left," Cedric said as Lily bounced back to her feet, boots placed firmly back on her feet.
"I'll have you know I'm a very refined lady," Lily said with a sniff, picking her broom back up to head down the path. "I would never stoop so low as to eat an entire tray of biscuits."
"I'm sure you're right," Cedric said, taking a deep breath. "Do you want to go out with me?"
Lily stopped in her tracks, turning to stare at the boy with her mouth hanging open. Cedric stopped, too, although he was standing far too rigidly and didn't seem capable of making eye contact.
"What?" Lily managed finally.
"Do you want to go out with me?" Cedric said, sounding a bit more confident this time and managing to meet her gaze.
"With me?" Lily said, her voice going a bit higher. "Why?"
Cedric laughed. "Blimey, Lily, do you want me to spell it out for you?"
"I think it'd help!"
"Because you're brilliant!" Cedric said happily. "Every time I look at you, my stomach does a somersault. You're just- you're perfect!"
"I'm a mess," Lily countered.
"You're a perfect mess!" Cedric said with another laugh.
"You're sure?" Lily asked.
"I've never been more sure of anything," Cedric said. "Do you want to go out with me?"
Lily stared at Cedric for what felt like ages, her mouth dry. She was sure she should feel excited. Now that her brain was starting to catch up, she was sure Sae must have known this was coming, and even Hermione must have. They probably even expected her to be excited about it!
But they didn't know what she knew.
Lily plastered a smile on herself and brushed another lock of hair out of her face, trying to feign nervousness, trying to pretend that this was what she wanted, too.
"Yeah, alright," she said. "That'd be great."
At least this would help her be normal.
Lily held hands with Cedric the rest of the way back, laughing at what he said and pretending this was everything to her. Cedric looked beside himself in glee, even offering to carry her again, just like he did the last summer. Lily did not take that offer.
Mrs. Diggory wasn't in the house when they got back, although Lily could hear talking upstairs. She assumed she must have gone upstairs with her husband. Mr. Weasley would be getting off work around the same time as well.
"I'll see you at school?" Cedric asked as they neared the fireplace, finally letting go of her hand.
"Yeah," Lily said nervously, the fingers on her left-hand flexing. She started stepping over the grate, but then she stopped, her hands resting on the brick. "Hey, Cedric?"
It was probably a stupid idea, but she had to know if it'd feel the same way it did with Katie.
"Yeah?" Cedric said, smiling radiantly.
"Thanks," Lily said before leaning in and placing a fast kiss on his lips. She broke the contact just as quickly as she made it and closed the distance to the fireplace. "I'll see you around."
"Yeah," Cedric said, his voice thick and stupidly happy.
"The Burrow," Lily said. The last thing she saw was Cedric waving at her, looking like he was stuck in a stupor, the smile unable to leave his face, as Lily spun upwards and into the fireplace.
It didn't feel the same. She felt perfectly normal, or maybe slightly happier than. She didn't feel the same magic she did before, didn't feel the same somersaults Cedric said he felt, the same ones she felt when around Katie or Lavender or any other pretty girl.
She came back out into the Burrow, overhearing a quiet but furious row between Sirius and Mrs. Weasley. It broke off immediately, Mrs. Weasley hurrying to usher Lily into a seat at the table, where the rest of the family (and guests) were filtering in and out, their own meals already done.
"Glad to see you back, dear," Mrs. Weasley said.
"How was it?" Mr. Weasley asked from the table, sounding tired.
"It was nice," Lily said simply, mentally preparing herself for this next part. "Cedric asked me out."
"What?" Fred and George said, sputtering. Hermione and Ginny simply broke into a fit of giggles, while Ron looked like he was stuck in a state of anger and surprise, no words able to pass his lips.
"You're joking," Sirius said in horror.
"I'll kill him," Ron finally managed.
"Oh, congratulations!" Mrs. Weasley said happily, pulling her into a tight hug. "What did you say?"
"I said 'yes,'" Lily said with a shrug. "But I don't know what he plans on actually doing, what with the whole- ah, fuck, I forgot to tell him about Beauxbatons."
"Language," Mr. Weasley said with a happy hum from the table.
"Oh, you can tell him soon enough, dear," Mrs. Weasley said, looking proud beyond belief. "You'll be taking the same Portkey to the Cup. Oh, I better write Margaret, we'll have to have the lad over for tea soon!"
"Yeah," Lily said, suddenly regretting this decision now that the whole room was talking about it. "Yeah, that'll- that'll be nice."
"I can't believe he asked you!" Hermione said, her eyes alight with delight.
"I can't believe he asked you," Ginny said, leaning in close and clinging to Lily's arm as if she hadn't been ignoring her for a month.
"What's wrong with that?" Lily asked, feeling hurt.
"Nothing!" Ginny said. "But every girl wants to get with Cedric, I just can't believe he asked you of all people!"
"I happen to be very popular," Lily said with a sniff.
"I'll kill him," Ron said again.
"Really," Lily insisted, "You should have seen me at Lockhart's stupid thing, I had a lot of boy's ask me to dance!"
"I also remember you blowing them all off," Ginny said. "Talk around the school was you weren't interested in blokes, since you spent the entire time in a corner holding hands with Katie." Ginny gave her a very knowing look.
"That's stupid," Lily said, her face growing red despite her best efforts. "I am definitely interested in boys."
Ginny gave a very satisfied nod and then launched into a series of questions, all about Cedric, and Lily did her best not to feel too bad about that. If this is what it took to get Ginny talking to her again, she supposed she could pretend as long as necessary.
And, hey, maybe if she pretended long enough, it'd become reality. That was how magic worked, wasn't it?
"Right, well," Sirius said suddenly. "Arthur, Molly, I believe we were heading out for a chat?"
"Right," Mr. Weasley said, rising from the table again. "You kids be good and stay inside."
"Any one of you sneaks outside, and you'll be cleaning out the coop with the smallest brush we can find for the rest of the summer," Mrs. Weasley said, pointing a firm finger at Fred and George. "And, Lily, dear, there's more food in the fridge if you want it."
Lily gave the woman a thumbs up as she began wolfing down the plate of food in front of her.
"Clearly Cedric's never seen you eat," Ginny said, shaking her head.
"I'll have to delay it as long as I can," Lily said, shoveling another load of potatoes into her mouth.
"I'll kill him," Ron said one more time.
"I think that's enough, Ron," Neville said. "Come on, we should get started on Snape's essay."
"I'll kill him, too," Ron said with a groan, still rising to follow his friend. Fred and George were right behind them, whispering about something amongst themselves.
"So?" Ginny said, scooting closer to Lily.
"So what?" Lily asked between bites.
"Did you kiss?" Hermione asked, sounding equally excited.
"He just asked me out," Lily said.
"But did he kiss you?" Ginny asked.
"No," Lily said, taking her time and chewing very carefully. "I kissed him."
Hermione and Ginny shared a glance and some giggles, while Lily tried not to feel ashamed of herself.
You wanted to be normal, she thought as she ate. This is what normal is like. Better get used to it.
"Lily!" Fred shouted from upstairs. "Get up here!"
"You get down here," Lily shouted back.
"Oh, will you just come on?" George shouted. "We have something to show you."
Lily let out a sigh and stood from her position.
"We'll find you later," Ginny said happily. "We have so many questions."
"Yeah, yeah," Lily grumbled. Don't let it bother you.
"Lily!"
"I'm coming!" Lily hollered back, just a hint of a whine to her voice. She made sure to stomp up the stairs as loudly as she could, so they'd know for sure. She very much doubted Percy was home. He would have already snapped at them all for shouting if he was.
"There you are!" Fred said, dragging her into their room just as soon as she rounded the corner, George closing it carefully behind them.
"What is it this time?" Lily asked. "I'm not eating another one of those candies, the last one made me-"
"No candies this time," Fred said with a wink. "Although we do want to know every single thing it did to you. We have something else to show you this time."
"What?" Lily asked, crossing her arms.
"Patience," George said, guiding her over to the window.
"What do you see?" Fred asked.
"The yard," Lily said.
"Well, yes, but what is directly below us?" George asked.
"The garden?"
"Right in two," Fred said. "And who, pray tell, are sitting in the garden, as we speak, having a private discussion?"
"I'm not eavesdropping," Lily said, trying to back up to the door. "I've learned that lesson, thank you very much."
"You're not at all curious?" George asked, dangling what seemed to be a fat piece of tan rubber on a string.
"What's that?" Lily asked, pointing at it. She just couldn't help herself.
"A prototype," Fred said, smiling. Lily knew that he knew that they had her.
"For what?" she asked with a sigh.
"We call it an Extendable Ear," George said.
"We've got the basics worked out," Fred said. "You dangle it towards whatever you want to listen to, put the string to your ear, and voila!"
"No more privacy!" George said proudly.
"What do you need this time?" Lily asked with a sigh, holding one of the lumps in her hand. It felt like clay, and, now that she had a better look, she supposed it did vaguely look like an ear.
"Nothing, as far as the ears go," Fred said.
"We have an entirely different problem, I'm afraid," George said.
"You see, Mum may have suspected our intentions," Fred said.
"And she may have preempted us by putting an Imperturbable Charm on our window," George said, tapping the pane of glass (or, at least, trying to; his fingers stopped an inch away from it).
"It's that we can't figure out," Fred said, sounding grumpy.
"But, luckily for us," George said, putting an arm around Lily's shoulder and leading her towards the window, "we have an especially talented sister who is more than willing to risk her wand to learn new things."
"I haven't used magic all summer," Lily said, her cheeks turning red. It was a bald-faced lie, and one she was sure they didn't believe.
"Well, if you aren't feeling too rusty, you're welcome to listen in alongside us once you break the charm," Fred said, kneeling closer to the window.
"What makes you think I want to?" Lily asked, already pulling her wand from her holster.
"I suppose you just love helping people," George said with a smile.
Lily let out another sigh as she raised her wand. "What makes you think I can? I've never broken an Imperturbable Charm before." Not entirely a lie that time; she knew the theory, and Sirius was running her through the process, but she'd yet to do it.
"What's the incantation, Lily?" Fred asked.
"It's more than that!" Lily said grumpily. "You have to know exactly what it's keyed to! You can't just wave your wand and break a ward with a few words."
"Can you do it or not?" George asked.
"She'll notice once she tries to lift it herself," Lily said.
"And then she'll try harder next time," Fred said with a shrug.
Lily let out one final sigh and then pushed her wand as far into the ward as she could get.
"Commocogo," she said, closing her eyes.
"Is it working?" Fred asked.
"Shut up," she whispered. "I'm focusing."
The image brought to her mind was that of the Weasley kitchen, sitting downstairs. It was empty, with not a single soul to see. Everything was clean, neat, and in order. She needed to find the one thing that wasn't. The Imperturbable Charm was the easiest ward to break. Or, at least, that was what Sirius told her.
She also needed to move quickly, or the ward would alert Mrs. Weasley that somebody was trying to break it. Luckily for Lily, she knew how Mrs. Weasley liked to keep her kitchen, as she very often helped her clean it. And so, as soon as she moved the bar of soap from the left side of the sink to the right, she heard a click as her wand pressed against the glass.
"Wicked," Fred and George said together.
"It'll be harder next time," Lily said, putting her wand away. "She'll know that I helped you, so she'll choose something I can't do."
"I'm sure you'll figure it out," Fred said. He slid the window open a crack, George handed him an ear, and then they both gently pushed them through the crack. Lily sat down between them and did the same for her own, holding the thread tightly against her ear as the voices grew louder.
"Cedric just proves my point!" Sirius said. "You're the ones who told me. You really think she should be dating him?"
"Ha!" Fred said from beside her. "You're in trouble, Lily."
"Shut up," she said, elbowing him in the ribs.
"She's fourteen!" Mrs. Weasley shot back. "If she feels she's ready, then she's ready! Are you saying you never got up to anything when you were her age?"
"Don't start something you can't finish," George said, getting her right back.
"That isn't what I meant and you know it," Sirius said. "What about what your daughter saw? I thought you said she was-"
Lily moved quickly, slamming the window shut tight against the wires, cutting them off from listening in.
"Oi!" Fred said, pulling her back so George could get the window back open.
"Sorry," Lily said, her face completely red. "Don't know what got into me there."
"You got your one," Fred said, glowering at her and putting the thread back to his ear. "Don't do it again."
"I won't," Lily said, sitting back between them and her own back to use.
"You don't know Lily as well as you think you do," Sirius said. "You didn't see what I did. She needs help, not a relationship."
"What she needs is to feel secure and loved," Mrs. Weasley said. "She needs to feel free to choose her own path, not what others pick for her."
"And how's that worked out for her so far?" Sirius said. "She'd be dead, now, if she'd had her way."
"You say something like that, and you expect her to follow you willingly?" Mrs. Weasley said.
"It's the truth," Sirius said. "I don't intend to keep her locked up, far from it. But she needs a firmer guiding hand. She's just fourteen! Were you mature enough to decide everything at the same age?"
"No," Mrs. Weasley said, "But I still haven't experienced a fraction of what that girl has."
"Well, I have," Sirius said. "I know what she's going through, and I know how to help her."
"If you did, you'd be leaving her with us," Mrs. Weasley said.
"What?" Fred and George said together. Lily felt her heart sink.
"And you honestly think you can give her what she needs?" Sirius said. "I've been here every day, Molly. You hardly have the time to pay attention to your own kids, let alone Lily. And that's not a fault! The two of you have done great work with the others, but Lily needs more focus, and the two of you can't give that to her."
"We've been doing just fine, thank you very much," Mrs. Weasley said.
"Tell him, Mum," Fred said, sounding angry.
"Have you?" Sirius said. "I've seen how Percy reacts every time she's in the room, even if you haven't. He can't stand her being there. And what about Ginny, eh? I think that's the first time I've ever seen the two speak to each other."
"We've talked with her," Mr. Weasley said. "She's just- she's a little confused, is all. She'll come around."
Lily clenched her jaw.
"And if she doesn't?" Sirius asked. "I know you can tell how much it bothers her. Surely you've seen it, too?"
"She loves it here, Sirius!"
"I know she does," Sirius said. "Which is why I'll tell her myself. I don't want her to feel like you're abandoning her. This was my call, and if she wants to treat me like the bad guy for it, then, well, I can handle it. She'll come around eventually."
"And if she doesn't?" Mr. Weasley asked.
"Then she only needs to put up with me for a couple more years," Sirius said simply.
"She's fourteen," Mrs. Weasley said.
"Right," Sirius said. "A few, I'm sorry."
"That's an eternity for a teenager," Mr. Weasley said.
"Alright, then," Sirius said. "If you can answer this question, I'll let her stay. Who was she staying with before the Longbottoms?"
"We don't know," Mr. Weasley admitted. "She doesn't like to talk about them."
"And why do you think that is?" Sirius asked.
"We can tell she's been abused, if that's what you're getting at," Mrs. Weasley said. "But she's been doing so much better, now that she's here!"
"Has she?" Sirius asked. "Molly, she tried to kill herself last year."
Lily heard the twins shift uncomfortably around her. She very much did not want to be sitting here anymore, but she couldn't bring her legs to work, to get her out of here.
"No," Mrs. Weasley said in horror.
"She didn't know, Sirius," Mr. Weasley said painfully. "Dumbledore only told me, and Lily didn't want me to tell anybody else."
"I don't understand," Mrs. Weasley said. "She- she seemed so happy while she was here!"
"Lily is good at pretending," Sirius said.
"No," Mrs. Weasley said. "She wasn't pretending, she was happy."
"She didn't try because of us, Sirius," Mr. Weasley said.
"No, of course she didn't," Sirius said. "But did the two of you ever give any consideration into how Slytherin would treat The-Girl-Who-Lived?"
"We thought she'd be safe," Mrs. Weasley said. "With Dumbledore there and-"
"Dumbledore just wanted her at Hogwarts," Sirius said. "I'll take my share of the responsibility. If I hadn't escaped, the dementors wouldn't have been there, and maybe somebody would have helped her sooner. But she always would have been facing the same treatment. She would have broken, eventually. And not a one of the three of you considered pulling her out of Hogwarts until it was too late."
"She was supposed to be safe, there," Mrs. Weasley said quietly. "She was supposed to be happy. I knew she was having a hard time, but- well-"
"Hogwarts isn't fun for her like it was for us," Sirius said softly. "Even during the war, not a one of my peers had anything bad to say about the school. We all looked back on it fondly. We still do. And she wants nothing to do with it, all because of one year."
"Where are you taking her?" Mr. Weasley asked. Lily felt her hand flexing.
"My family home, for now," Sirius said. "I don't plan on staying there more than a year. Can't stand the place, myself. Just need to find a buyer for it, first."
"And after that?"
"France," Sirius said. "Maybe somewhere by the coast. I think she'd like that. I'm looking into buying some property now. Lily has the right idea. She needs to get away from it all, get someplace where people won't immediately know everything about her."
"I don't know," Mrs. Weasley said nervously.
"Just look at the papers!" Sirius said. "She can't do anything without them finding out. The French know her name, sure, but they don't know what she looks like, and they sure as hell don't care about her past."
"And what about the store?" Mr. Weasley asked.
"Remus was the one chosen to run it," Sirius said, sounding bitter. "He's made that clear enough. If she wants one closer, we'll just open another. I have the funds for it."
"You can't take her from her friends, Sirius," Mrs. Weasley said. "She'll hate you for that."
"She'll make new ones," Sirius said. "And she'll have Hermione with her at school."
"This isn't right," Mr. Weasley said. "We should ask her what she wants."
"Bloody right," George grumbled.
"It's done," Sirius said. "I'm taking her. You can have the rest of the summer, and I'll let her come here for the Holidays, if she wants, but it's done. She's not safe here in Britain. Not with them still out there."
"You really think they'd come for her?" Mrs. Weasley said.
"I guarantee it," Sirius said. "It's only a matter of time. I'd take her further away, if I could, but you're right that this is already pushing it."
"Sirius, please," Mr. Weasley said. "You can't take her from the only home she's ever known. It'll break her."
"It won't," Sirius said. "You're right about one thing. She is strong. She can handle it. She might even look forward to it."
"Sirius-"
"My decision is final," Sirius said. "You should get back inside. I'll meet you all at the campground tomorrow morning."
Lily pulled the cord from her ear and stood, her left hand burning.
"Lily," Fred said carefully, raising his hand to stop her. Lily pushed it free and left the room, the door slamming behind her.
Lily stormed straight up to her room, one more door slamming in her wake. With a wave of her wand (she didn't remember pulling it out), and a muttered "Immotopedum," she cast an Imperturbable Charm of her own on the entrance, keying it to the earrings she left sitting on her bedside table.
Lily felt like she could have burned a hole through her floor with her manic pacing. She wanted to run, or go flying, or do something.
You can't take her from the only home she's ever known.
Lily's wand was still in her fingertips. She could feel it pulsing with energy, ready to attack, to burn, to kill.
Lily stopped and stared down at it, the anger leaving her body. She felt cold and disgusted, her scar pulsing in pain. She had no idea where that thought came from. She felt like she was on the verge of remembering something, and that only worsened her headache. It didn't feel like it came from her.
Lily tossed her wand. It clattered to the ground, falling in the space between mattress and wall. She slumped into her chair, at her desk, and placed her head in her hands, trying to calm herself down, thinking only of the clicking clock, and her hand at 'Home.'
"Expecto Patronum," she muttered, even though she knew it would do nothing. Her wand was all the way across the room.
She was supposed to tell somebody immediately if she felt like something wasn't coming from her own self, so they could alert Dumbledore. She promised him she would. It was one of the conditions he laid out for her at the end of last year. But that would be admitting what she heard, and that would make it feel more real. And she didn't think she could take that.
Lily wiped the tears from her eyes and turned her seat around. She needed to distract herself, to work and to forget. She had just the thing for it, and she just so happened to have a time limit now.
She picked up the nearest watchband, as well as the tiny set of specialized tools, and finished clearing her mind, using her Occlumency to clear all her emotions. She might not be a part of the family for much longer, but she could at least leave them all with one final gift.