Updated: 25/1/2022

Chapter 13: Anxiety Attacks

Artemis really couldn't remember when her problems started. It was hazy at best. But one day she looked at Apollo nearly getting killed and she found herself unable to breathe. This continued on with him and then her Hunters whenever they were in trouble or hurt, she would feel her anxiety building. She finally learnt want it was. She was having anxiety attacks. Whenever she saw one of them get hurt, they would happen or after a particularly bad nightmare. That seemed to be going to her more and more now.

Apollo gone saw the biggest increase of her attacks. Seeing him nearly die and die over again had frayed her nerves and made her anxiety worse. Thinking about what it would feel like if he was gone.

Artemis didn't know what to do about them. She didn't tell anyone. Not when Zoe was alive. Or now Thalia. Not ever her brother which she believes would make him mad at her for keeping it a secret.

What did it matter now? He was helping make Jason's dream a reality.

She didn't want to appear weak. Even to her own beloved brother. She did know she needed help. But she just wasn't brave enough to ask him or anyone for help.

Would they be able to help her anyway?

It wasn't like the Gods should suffer from mortal problems. So, what did that make her? Weak and mortal?

Artemis had gone to asleep that night hoping for a peaceful night. But she was never that lucky and woke up again terrified and having an anxiety attack. She felt like she her heart was beating out of her chest. She tried to breathe but couldn't. It always terrified her when it happened. It felt like eons until she was able to breath probably again.

Artemis buried her face in her knees. She wanted her brother but wasn't brave enough to ask for help.

This was her routine now. Go spend time with the Hunters, have something happen to cause a attack, then hid it, be with the Hunters, have dinner, go to bed, have a nightmare, wake up with a attack and not being able to sleep again.

Artemis wiped her face as she felt a meeting being called. Why on earth would her Father be calling a meeting now? She gets up shakily. Uses the Mist to cover herself and flash to the Throne Room. Everyone else was had flashed in before her. She didn't realise she had taken too long to come.

"Artemis where have you been? You are late", Zeus tells her.
"Well I am here now, aren't I?" Artemis snaps and moves to her Throne.

She didn't notice the eyes on her.

"Now onto business…"

"Why is this meeting being called in the middle of the night?" Artemis interrupts him.

"Because I said so. So, Apollo how goes it on Jason's dream?" Zeus asks turning away from the Moon Goddess.

She fiddled nervously with a piece of jewellery that Zoe had given her. Trying to stop her thoughts from turning darker.

She didn't even realise she was being watched by a pair of worried sky-blue eyes…

Apollo was worried. Very worried. He had started to notice a few things about his sister he was concerned about. She seemed skittish at times and more tired as time passed. He could see she was trying to hide it. But she wasn't nearly as good as actor as she believed. Especially in the last few months after his punishment.

So he needed to know she was ok.

Seeing her now across the Throne Room told him she wasn't sleeping properly. She wasn't using the Mist as good as she thought she was. He saw some of the dark circles under her eyes.

What had happened to his Little Sister?

He was determined to find out. He felt like he neglected his duties as a brother for too long.

So, he watched her over a few weeks. Carefully hiding in the shadows and it was a testament to how off she was that she didn't notice or sense him.

What he saw he didn't like at all.

But it was from a distance, and he wasn't sure he was seeing what he was.

So, when he saw her rush out of her Camp one night he followed silently.

He saw her on the ground struggling to breath. Like she couldn't get enough air in…

Apollo realised what was happened.

He knelt down a respectable distance from her and started talking softly.

"Easy Little One. Deep Breathes. Copy what I'm in one, two, three, four. Holding one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Exhale one, two, three, four…", he says softly coaxing her to breath normally before she fainted or was sick.

She was shuddering against a tree. Curling in on herself. But seemed to be hearing some of what he said.

Apollo continued with his coaching for her to breath making sure to stay calm and stay where he was. He didn't want to get closer in case he spooked her.

"You're ok. I'm here. Your safe. Breath and listen to the sound of my voice", he says softly.

She shudders as her breathing gets under control, but she keels over and was sick on the ground. Her body rocked with sobs.

Apollo could no longer stand away from her. Not when she was like this.

He makes his way slowly towards her. Making sure he was heard. He kneels down in front of her being very careful.

"Arty?" he calls softly.

She whimpers at his voice. As her breathing was still not right.

"Oh Little One what has happened to you", Apollo asks he raises his hand and brushes her messy auburn hair from the front of her face.
He was shocked she didn't flinch away from him.

He goes to move his hand away but in a flash her hand grips his arm, and she whimpers.

"Don't let go", she rasps.

His eyes widen at that she hadn't asked him to do that before.

"You want me to hug you?" he checks softly.

She nods trembling.

Apollo goes to her side and puts his arm around her and pulls her into his arms. Holding her securely to his chest.

"Listen to my heartbeat and breathing Little Sis and try to copy it", he coaxes her softly.

She shudders curled into him.

She felt like something was right when his hand touched hers. She hadn't really recognised the voice when he started speaking only certain words identified him.

Now being in his arms was helping her more than anything else had in the past. She leaned into his chest and tried to concentrate on his heartbeat instead of her thoughts.

"Safe. Safe", she mumbles breathlessly over and over again.

"Yes, your safe", he murmurs back.
"No you", she blurts out in a whisper.

"What about me?" Apollo asks softly confused.

He frowns and suddenly he had an idea.

"You mean I'm safe?" he asks her with realization in his eyes and voice.

She nods frantically.

"Arty what is going on? Of course, I'm safe", he tells her.

He sees her looking up into his eyes full of fear and uncertainly and anxiety.

"Please Little One tell me what is going on", he begs her, "I want to help you. Whatever it is we can work it out together"

"Promise you won't see me differently", she whispers.

"I promise on the Styx", he vows.

She trembles against him, and her hand comes to grab parts of his shirt. He lets her seeing the fact she needed comfort and to gather strength. Whatever this was she was scared to tell him.

"For…for a while now. I have…have started to have episodes…episodes where I can't breathe. Where I'm we…weak. It got worse as time…time went on. After night…nightmares or when I thought you would di…di…die", she chokes out gripping his shirt more tightly.

His eyes widen she really was this way because she thought he would die?

"Arty I…"

"Please. Let me finish", she begs.

He nods pulling her tightly to him more.

"I…I started being restless at night anxious to sleep. I don't want to dream your dea…death again. I started being unable to breath when my mind sees or thinks of the fact you could or would di…die. My…my heart feels like it is beating out of its chest. Sometimes my mind already makes me think…think that. Then I can't…can't breat…", her breathing begins to pick up again.

Apollo takes her hand that was gripping his shirt. Pulls it off gently and puts it over his heart.

"Feel my heart beating Arty. I am here. I am not going anyway. I am NEVER leaving you. EVER. I promise I'll be right here for you to yell at me not to call you Arty or…", he rambles on to get her focused on his voice.

His mind was racing. He believed he knew what she was trying to tell him.

He runs his hand through her messy hair. As she settles against him again. Still shaking slightly.

"Arty do you know what is going on?" Apollo asks her softly.

She nods but also shakes her head.

"You're having anxiety attacks. Not quite panic attacks. Yet. But close. Artemis how long has this been going on?" he asks her gently.

She looks at him her silver eyes with tears.

"Since Python first time", she whispers.

He eyes widen at that. That was near the start of their existence.

"Why haven't you told me sooner? I could have helped you!" Apollo exclaims not meaning to sound angry but unfortunately, he does.

She flinches and trembles he felt tears fall on him. And her hand lets his shirt go.

He takes a deep breath.
"Sorry Sis. I didn't mean it to come out like that. I am just worried. I hate seeing you like that", Apollo says kissing her head.

To his surprise even though he had snapped at her she curls about up in his arms. With her hand back gripping his shirt.

"Scared. Not brave. Weak", she whispers so soft he wasn't sure he even heard it.

"Your anything but weak Sis. Did you say scared and not brave?" he asks her gently.

She nods.

"Oh, oh Arty. You're the bravest person I know. Never. Ever forget that. And everyone gets scared", he tells her holding her close.

He takes a deep breath and whispers in her ear the next bit. Like it was a secret.

"Even me"

She looks up at him surprised.

"You?"

"Yes me. I am scared about YOU. Always scared about if something might happen to you or you won't tell me something important to do with your health. I have noticed your change some months ago and it scared me. Thinking something so serious had happened. I am thankful that this is minor and something I can help you cope with", Apollo informs her.
"Really?" Artemis asks, her heart warming up hearing what her brother said.

"Yes. I'll help you. Always. Arty if this problem is not treated it can get worse. Please let me help you", Apollo begs.

"Really it can get worse?" she asks shuddering.

"Really. I wouldn't lie to you about something like this", he confirms.

"I want help", Artemis says her 'bambi eyes' looking up at him.

He sighs in relief, "Then I will. We'll get you better I promise"

He cuddles her close feeling her relax more and more. He remembers something in his pocket.

"Arty I have a gift for you", he says softly.

She looks up at him as he takes one of his hands of her and pulls a necklace out of his pocket. A crescent moon with a sun.

"This is for you. I had this made some time ago for you. I just haven't found an appropriate time to give it to you", Apollo tells her.

"It is beautiful", she whispers touching it and feeling the love pouring off it, "I feel love"

He kisses her forehead, "It should. It is enchanted so you can feel my love for you. So would you like to wear it?"

"Yes please", Artemis says eagerly.

He smiles and puts it around her neck and locks it in place. She immediately puts one hand on the neck curling her fingers around it and the other hand clutched his shirt as she leaned back content.

Apollo could feel he had made a difference with his sister. That bought relief for him. But there was still something to discuss.

"If you have another problem Arty, I want you to promise me you'll tell me the next time something like this comes up. Or your scared, confused, or even if you just need me. Or call for me when you're having another anxiety attack. Promise me and I'll promise you I'll be there without judgement", Apollo asks her desperate to be able to insure if this happened again, she would call for him.

Artemis saw his worry and it was great. He wasn't even trying to hide it. She felt more warmth spread through her at his worry. In his arms she felt safe and loved.

"I promise on the Styx", she whispers.

He gives her a grateful smile, "And I promise on the Styx to hold my end of the deal"

Thunder booms signalling their oaths to each other.

"Remember Arty us against the world. Always"

He felt her snuggle into him nearly asleep and completely calm for what for her felt the first time in forever.
"Us against the world Big Brother"

That had a bright smile on Apollo's face for the rest of the night as he held his sister as she finally caught up on her sleep.

They would face everything together.

Apollo would help her.

They were BOTH sure of that…

Author's Note: What do you think? Please Review:)