A/N: Um, not gonna lie; this chapter had a rather... graphic description of what happened in 'Snape's Worst Memory' (note: this was what I thought had happened if Harry were to fully view the memory, so...) and thus, please proceed with caution after the werewolf 'prank' part. And uh, a bit of allegory alluding to suicidal thoughts near the end.

We cool with that? Good.

In his earlier years, Severus Snape had always wanted siblings.

Ever since he was five and had walked nearby his house, he had observed from afar how the other kids in the neighborhood enjoyed each other's company in the park, with his heart clenched longingly upon hearing their joyful laughter. How he wished he had someone to share his magic too, but they all rejected him in the pretense of his rather strange demeanor and mismatched clothes.

"Ma, may I ask you something?" he asked.

"What is it, dear?" Eileen smiled at him.

Severus twisted the hem of his shirt sheepishly, "Um… Can I have a sibling? I… I'd like to have a playmate too."

"What's wrong with the children in kindergarten? Are they bullying you?" she queried with a frown, to which Severus quickly shook his head. "I- I want to teach them magic like you taught me," he reasoned, sounded a bit unsure of himself.

His mother's face turned into a light tinge of pink. "Oh," she chuckled offhandedly, "Hmm, don't take this the wrong way, dear; but your Pa is a very busy man. Maybe when we get to live well and at somewhere better, OK?"

Severus had grinned at that time, sincerely hoping he could finally have someone to share their little secrets together.

That dream was shattered when he was six years old.

Severus might be a young boy, but he was also attentive and by the time his father was pointing his finger at him with accusation that he was a demon child, he could only shirk himself away in the corner of the room and forced himself not to cry.

It was at that moment Severus first realized his presence was not welcomed. And on the years afterward where his father would beat him in place of his mother, Severus inwardly smiled to himself through silent unshed tears.

At least his mother and nonexistent siblings were safe.

A sacrificial lamb; that was all he was.

Sirius Black really had thought it well. If his life was not at stake, Severus would have applauded the boy on such devious plan worthy of a Slytherin.

Severus was paralyzed with utter fright at where he stood, watching in morbid fascination as Remus Lupin was transforming into his werewolf form. He took in all the details and secured them tightly into his mind, because how else he was going to convince… someone?

…Who was that person? They must be important to him, right? He had told whoever it was that there was something fishy going on with the Marauders, and he finally found it!

…But, would it worth in the end?

Lupin's change was almost complete, but Severus couldn't move; his feet seemed to plant themselves into the ground. The growls that the lupine beast let out certainly didn't help for him to escape the predicament either.

He knew he should run away, but could he? The wand in his hand trembled heavily, waiting for his command to either attack the werewolf or defend himself. Though, what would be the use? He might be a wizard, but he was also human and no man could outrun an animal, lest of all a magical beast that was nearly immune to all spells. And he certainly didn't have anything in his arsenal to conjure silvery items.

Because if he were to attack Lupin in his werewolf self, it would also be visible in the next morning, and wouldn't that counted as an assault on his human self too?!

So Severus remained in his place, trying hard to not think of his impending doom. A stray thought crossed his mind and he almost choked out with deranged laughter at the possible news that would appear the next day. That Albus Dumbledore had allowed a werewolf to (illegally?) attend Hogwarts and the students knew nothing of the hidden danger. Well, he would be happy enough to manage speaking out the truth even after his death.

And thus, he stared back at the werewolf's amber eyes and gleaming sharp white teeth with a weak smile. Though from afar a panic-stricken voice entered his ears, the predatory snarl from the beast was the last thing he heard before everything went black.

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Those words tumbled out of Severus' mouth without much of a thought.

He was seeing red because why the crowd did nothing to stop James Potter and Sirius Black? Were they afraid that they would be targeted next? His lips and tongue still had the taste of soap lingering by, and he hastily wiped it away with the arm sleeve of his school robes.

The redheaded girl in front of him had her green eyes widened in utter shock for a moment before she blinked and snarled coldly, "Fine. I won't bother in the future. And if I were you, I'd wash those underpants, Snivellus."

Severus instinctively flinched at the degrading nickname; he did not snivel! But her words stung his heart much more than usual… was this the important someone he had? Though, why didn't she do anything to help him back then? What were measly words compared to actions?

Just who was the real hypocrite here?!

"Apologize to Evans!" Potter's voice broke through his hazy mind.

'No,' Severus thought, mentally shaking his head to smother the guilt that bloomed in his heart for calling the girl a Mudblood. 'If this was the kind of person I had thought important, I must had been a mad man.' And so he tuned out the rest of Evans and Potter's conversation with a brief triumphant swell in his chest, because Evans really had been as true as those Slytherins had said.

Mudbloods really were weak and pathetic.

"Right," Potter spoke in a furious tone after a long while and Severus cursed himself for not running away when they were distracted by the bickering and thus, had no chance to counter-attack as he was suddenly lifted into the air by his ankle again, showing his grey underpants for the second time to the people below him. His wand slipped from his hand by the quick action and he lamented its loss in utmost terror.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" Potter shouted, and much to his horror, Severus stared at the crowd who began cheering at the bespectacled boy.

"No, please!"

He tried to curl himself and grabbed the hem of his school robes to cover his legs, but a quick Incarcerous from Sirius Black had prevented him from doing so and Severus felt more of a bait hanging by an invisible rope, ready to be fed to the vicious dogs on the ground. Even the people's voices sounded more and more like bloodthirsty hounds were baying in anticipation of a grand feast.

"Haven't you had enough?!" Severus shrieked almost hysterically at the sheer audacity of his bullies' torment on him and the crowd's inactions. Looking around, he saw Remus Lupin (why did he have to cover his secrets when the damned werewolf did nothing to protect his?!) had turned his face away from the scene while Peter Pettigrew was staring intently at him.

His tongue suddenly was stuck at the roof of his mouth and Severus writhed more violently in the air; hyperventilating in utmost panic when he felt his underpants were slowly, but surely being lifted upward.

'I don't want to see them. I don't want to hear their voices. Please, someone; just take me away from here!' he begged in his mind, tears fell downward onto his forehead.

Something black entered his peripheral vision and Severus locked his onyx eyes onto that unknown figure before feeling himself gradually had his eyes closed, welcoming the cold sensation that washed over his body.

Fire was all Rogue could see.

The raven had flown frantically around the small room in effort from getting swallowed by the fiery flames, and as the black fire burnt everything else into a crisp and grew larger, it blinked away its tears and wondered about one thing all the while.

What had happened to its master? Was he hurt, and couldn't make it into the room? The bird instinctively knew the one that entered the place just then was an impostor, and had hid itself to see and record everything that occurred so that the real master could investigate about it.

Rogue knew it could run away (it was merely a ghost tethered to the living world by a feather, after all) but wouldn't that be cowardly and selfish for it to do so? That it was sending innocent lives to their deaths?

The raven might have not enough magic to dispel the fiendish flames, but it knew that a terrible catastrophe would happen if someone (no, it certainly didn't want to think the master may open the door without much thought) were to enter the room unknowingly.

Rogue turned back to see the mindless fire was still chasing after it and narrowed its eyes in full acceptance. Surely the yew wand the master had used in place of its magical core would be enough for the cause.

If there was one thing Rogue had in mind to regret about, it was to ask for the master's forgiveness for hurting him so badly due to their connection. Would their bond be severed afterward?

The bird shifted into its phantom form and let out an apologetic croak to no one before embracing the Fiendfyre with its black feathers.

The memories got played over and over that it evolved into a terrifying amalgamation of a nightmare. That he was hung in the air with hands bound by ropes and below him were wolves yapping and snarling, jumping as high as they could in attempt to reach him. The cruel laughter continuously assaulted his ears and he could do nothing to block those horrible noises.

When the dark fires inched closer to him, Severus wondered if it really was worthy for him to live. After all, hadn't it be made clear that no one ever wanted him or accepted him for what he was? Not his father, not his mother… nothing.

He was an anomaly to everyone. And foreign things should be removed lest they would cause a trouble, right?

Despite the skin-scalding pain he received from the fiery flames, he was happy.

That he would no longer be a burden.

That he would finally be free.

Severus opened his eyes only to find his own self was lying on the ground. Blearily, he looked upward and could merely see white all around him. His whole body felt sore, and as much as he liked to simply stay where he was, he needed to know what kind of place he had gotten to.

Reluctantly rose himself up from the ground, Severus scanned the surrounding area and frowned. There was nothing else in the white space, apart from two doorways a few feet away and opposite of each other. Feeling curious toward the one at his left, he stood up and cautiously approached it.

The doorway had bright colors swirling around on the wooden frame and as Severus went closer, he could hear voices from behind it, all were exuding a comforting aura as if he was a young child again.

"Come along, Severus."

"You've been so valiant."

"No one can hurt you anymore."

"There's only eternal peace here."

…Eternal peace.

It almost felt like… a dream come true. Severus blinked in utter disbelief and felt his heart swell; hadn't this been what he always wanted? Though, he looked back to the other doorway and furrowed his brows at its broken, derelict state. What could be behind it, he wondered?

Would it worth to be investigated?

The soft voices called out to him again and he faced the ever-swirling colorful lights in conflict.

…Was it wrong to be selfish? What exactly was the right thing to do?

Severus knew he had all the time in the world to think over his decision and fell asleep next to the colorful doorway.