All Roads Lead to Rome

(That night, in a villa in Assessium, the Princess and Vicki are in their room. Vicki is sat cross legged on her bed, going through the bag belonging to Maximus Pettulian, while the Princess is sat at the table brushing her hair. From the next room they hear the bad lyre playing of the Doctor, and at each wrong note Vicki cringes.)

VICKI: (To Princess) He's not very good, is he?

PRINCESS: Well, that's why he's practising.

VICKI: He's not going to be doing that all night?

PRINCESS: From the sounds of things, he might have to.

VICKI: Because if he's this bad then they won't believe he's Maximus Pettulian.

PRINCESS: Quite.

(The Doctor's lyre playing stops.)

VICKI: Uh, finally!

(The Princess stands up, having finished brushing her hair.)

PRINCESS: Perhaps now would be the prime opportunity to get some sleep.

VICKI: You mean before he starts playing again?

(There are ruffled noises from the Doctor's room.)

VICKI: What's he doing now?

PRINCESS: I find it best to ignore him sometimes, Vicki, honestly.

VICKI: You mean he does this often?!

(The ruffling noises continue.)

PRINCESS: No, I wouldn't say often. But it does happen occasionally. Most usually when he's trying to figure something out and he can't.

VICKI: Like why Maximus Pettulian was murdered?

PRINCESS: Possibly.

(A loud smashing noise now comes from the Doctor's room. The Princess and Vicki sharply look to one another.)

VICKI: Is that usual when he's like this?

PRINCESS: No, that's a reason to check on him.

(The Princess strides from the room with Vicki quickly jumping off the bed to follow. The Princess leads Vicki out into the hallway and down towards the Doctor's room which they enter without knocking.)

PRINCESS: Doctor, what on…!

(The Princess and Vicki have entered the Doctor's room to find him wrestling with an assailant for control of a sword. The room is a mess, there's spilt wine and water on the floor, and smashed pieces of a former jug scattered around.)

VICKI: Doctor!

(At that moment, the Doctor then gets the upper hand, as he twirls around and lifts up the assailant's sword wielding hand. Then with a sharp pull down, the Doctor flips the assailant up and over him, while removing the sword from his grasp. The now unarmed assailant hits the floor, landing in front of the Princess and Vicki. He stares up at them, momentarily dazed.)

PRINCESS: (To assailant) Hello. Would you care to explain what's going on here?

(The assailant, seeing more people, panics and scurries away. Vicki chases after him, picking up a jug and holding it up above her head. The assailant makes some panicked noises, before staggering up to his feet and then diving out the window, before Vicki can attack him with the jug.)

DOCTOR: (To Vicki) Young lady… Now why did you go and do a thing like that? Just as I'd got him all softened up, and ready for the old one, two.

VICKI: You're all right then?

(Vicki puts down the jug.)

DOCTOR: All right? Of course, I'm all right, my child.

(Even so, the Princess comes over to look the Doctor over.)

PRINCESS: He didn't cut you?

DOCTOR: Not a scratch on me.

PRINCESS: And no bruises?

DOCTOR: Couldn't even touch me. You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction, of the gentle art of fisticuffs.

VICKI: I realise you're a man of many talents, Doctor, but I didn't know fighting was one of them.

DOCTOR: My dear, I am one of the best. Do you know it was I that used to teach the Mountain Mauler of Montana!

PRINCESS: You and his teachers, Doctor.

(Vicki laughs.)

DOCTOR: Well…

PRINCESS: Unless you were teaching him Venusian Aikido, of course.

VICKI: Venusian what?

PRINCESS: Aikido, Vicki. Venusian Aikido.

DOCTOR: Yes, the name of the technique I used on our friend just now. Yes, we picked that up a while ago now, didn't we?

PRINCESS: Feels like decades ago.

DOCTOR: In any case, after all that wonderful exercise, I shall be able to get a very pleasant night's sleep.

PRINCESS: I, however, may struggle after witnessing all that.

DOCTOR: Well, best get started now then, so you can catch up, my dear. We, more than most, need our beauty sleep, no?

(The Doctor chuckles, while guiding the Princess towards the door.)

VICKI: But, Doctor, surely, we're not going to stay here?

DOCTOR: (Stopping) Why not? (Sees Vicki looking out the window) What, him? Oh, my dear child, I don't think he'll come back again. Oh, no. I can promise you that. Especially with our centurion friend. Speaking of which, where is that chap? (To Princess) Go and see where he's at, my dear, would you?

PRINCESS: His room's just across the hall. I'm surprised he didn't hear the commotion.

VICKI: (Looking out the window) Hey, the men he had with him are gone?

DOCTOR: Gone, child?

VICKI: Well, they've left the courtyard, see?

(The Doctor goes over to the window while the Princess goes out into the hallway. The Doctor leans out the window and sees the courtyard is empty and dark.)

DOCTOR: So, they have.

(The Princess comes back into the room.)

PRINCESS: The centurion who found us isn't in his room. In fact, nothing been touch, the bed's immaculate.

VICKI: So…the centurion who came looking for Maximus Pettulian, finds him, brings him to a nearby villa, only to then leave him behind while he sneaks away with his men?

DOCTOR: Yes, but you're missing one key point in that series of events, child.

VICKI & PRINCESS: I am? / She is?

DOCTOR: Yes. That that centurion hired that man to kill me. Or rather to kills this fellow, Maximus… What was it?

VICKI: Pettulian.

DOCTOR: What?

PRINCESS: Pettulian, Doctor.

DOCTOR: No thank you, I'm not in the mood for fruit now.

(The Princess rolls her eyes.)

VICKI: (Giggling) No, Doctor. His name, it's Maximus Pettulian.

DOCTOR: Oh, yes, I see, yes, of course. I must remember that name.

VICKI: Maybe we should write it down on your hand?

PRINCESS: But what makes you think it was the centurion, Doctor?

DOCTOR: Well, my dear, it's rather obvious isn't it. The centurion leaves with his men and then I get attacked. That's far too much of a coincidence to be ignored. Never mind that he was searching the bushes for the dead body when we originally came across him.

VICKI: But how could he have been doing that, Doctor? He had no way of knowing Maximus was dead.

PRINCESS: Unless…

DOCTOR: Precisely, my dear.

VICKI: Unless what?

DOCTOR: Unless the centurion hired someone to kill this, Maximus…huh…

PRINCESS & VICKI: Pettulian.

DOCTOR: Yes, him– on that road before we arrived on the scene.

VICKI: But, Doctor, if he wanted this man dead, why didn't he take care of it himself?

DOCTOR: Because this way he couldn't be charged with crime.

VICKI: Yes, but if you were going to be killed anyway, I can't see the problem. In fact, the real Maximus is dead–

PRINCESS: But the Doctor isn't.

DOCTOR: And if he'd tried to kill me himself, I would now be able to accuse him. You see, my dear, it was an accepted thing in this age to hire an assassin. Preferably someone dumb, and then they couldn't denounce you.

VICKI: So…he hired someone to kill Maximus on the road.

PRINCESS: At an arrange point.

VICKI: Then he comes along, finds the body, and tells everyone it was a highway robbery gone wrong?

DOCTOR: Well, deduced, Vicki.

VICKI: I still don't understand why he'd do it though? And all to kill a lyre player?

DOCTOR: Yes, I'm afraid I'm not too sure on that either. But I imagine we'll find some more answers in Rome.

VICKI: In Rome?! You mean to say we're going on?

DOCTOR: Of course! You can't expect me to give up now, not when things are just getting interesting.

VICKI: Interesting? A man tried to kill–

PRINCESS: Vicki, don't argue with him.

VICKI: But–

PRINCESS: There's no use, he won't change his mind. Let's just get some sleep and you can decide in the morning whether you want us to continue on with him.

DOCTOR: Yes, sleep on it, my dear. We can talk it all over in the morning.

(The Doctor ushers Vicki towards the door along with the Princess.)

DOCTOR: Goodnight, child. Your highness.

(The Doctor shuts his door, leaving the Princess and Vicki in the hallway.)

VICKI: (To Princess) But he can't be serious.

PRINCESS: Oh, I'm afraid he very much is.

VICKI: But this is mad!

PRINCESS: This, for better or worse, is becoming our normal. (Puts her arm around Vicki) But don't worry about it just now. What you need is a good night's rest. Now, I'll stay up and watch over you both, so you don't have to worry about a thing.

VICKI: I shan't think I'll be able to sleep.

PRINCESS: Well, I can always tell you a bed time story if you like?

(Vicki looks up at the Princess and laughs as they return to their room.)

(The next day, in the city of Rome, the Doctor, Princess and Vicki have arrived and are walking through the busy streets. As they walk, Vicki is in between the Doctor and Princess, looking around in awe.)

VICKI: Oh, isn't it wonderful!

PRINCESS: By that, I assume you're glad you chose to continue this little adventure of ours?

VICKI: Oh, yes, definitely. Can we explore?

DOCTOR: Oh, I don't see why not, my child. For a while, anyway. Then we must present our credentials, so to speak, before night falls.

VICKI: I can't believe you're still planning to visit Nero?

DOCTOR: Why ever not, child? I've been invited after all, and I can't disappoint him.

VICKI: Does that mean your playing has improved?

DOCTOR: Eh…not in so many words, no.

PRINCESS: But we'll be all right, Vicki, don't worry. The Doctor will handle everything, while you and I explore.

DOCTOR: Quite right. This is meant to be an educational trip, after all.

VICKI: Educational?!

DOCTOR: Yes, now where to begin?

PRINCESS: The colosseum perhaps?

VICKI: Oh, yes, let's go there!

DOCTOR: Don't be ridiculous you two, it hasn't been built yet.

PRINCESS: Well, we can always have a look around the market. They'll have much more here than back in the village, and more of it to.

DOCTOR: (Muttering) And more expensive.

PRINCESS: Well, there's no harm in looking.

(The Doctor tuts in disagreement, as a crowd nearby cheers, catching their attention.)

VICKI: (Trying to get a look) What's going on over there?

(The Doctor and Princess recognise what is about to happen at the stage the crowd has gathered around.)

PRINCESS: Don't look, Vicki.

VICKI: Why not?

PRINCESS: It's nothing pleasant, I assure you.

DOCTOR: Yes, why don't… Why don't we go to the market?

VICKI: Really?

DOCTOR: (Unsure) Yes…Yes, lead on you two.

VICKI: (Excited) Let's go, Princess.

(Vicki quickly takes the Princess' hand and pulls her along, away from the growing crowd around the stage. The Doctor glances back over his shoulder, seeing the slave trader is pulling the slaves up onto the stage. They are just in time to get away from the horrid sight, as the Doctor begins to follow his companions in the opposite direction. Oblivious to the other adventure going on behind them…)

(In the Emperor's palace, the Doctor, Princess and Vicki stand in a circular room with a ring of pillars around them. They stand waiting and talking, but otherwise the room is empty.)

DOCTOR: (To Vicki) No, I shouldn't think there's a soul in this place that knows me, my dear, so there's no cause for you to worry.

VICKI: I'll try not to, Doctor.

PRINCESS: Please do, Vicki. We're here for a fun little adventure, after all.

VICKI: I know, Princess. And I did enjoy are trip around the market.

PRINCESS: Yes, that was fun.

DOCTOR: (Sarcastically) Yes, exhilarating.

PRINCESS: All right, Doctor, it's over now, there's no need to keep complaining.

(Unbeknownst to the time travellers, another man, Tavius, has sneakily entered the room. He is bald, and dressed importantly, though is taking cover behind a pillar, while making sure no one else is in the room.)

TAVIUS: (Towards Doctor) Psst. Psst.

PRINCESS: (To Doctor) Don't shush me.

DOCTOR: Pardon?

PRINCESS: You just shushed me, and rather rudely too.

DOCTOR: I did no such thing.

TAVIUS: Psst! Psst!

PRINCESS: You just did it again!

DOCTOR: That wasn't me! Child, do stop making such funny noises, you're confusing her highness.

VICKI: (Hissing) It's not me.

PRINCESS: Because it's you, Doctor.

VICKI: No, it's not him either! (Pointing to Tavius) It's that man over there.

(The Doctor and Princess look, and Tavius, having been spotted, comes out from behind the pillar and over to them.)

TAVIUS: Maximus Pettulian?

VICKI: (To Doctor, quietly) That's you.

DOCTOR: (Quietly) Oh, I know, that child, I know. (To Tavius) Yes?

TAVIUS: I am Tavius. There was trouble, but I settled it.

DOCTOR: What?

TAVIUS: He's in the apodyterium.

DOCTOR: The apody-what?

TAVIUS: The apodyterium.

DOCTOR: (Chuckling) Oh really, well done, well done, yes…

(The Doctor looks back to the Princess and Vicki, but none of them have a clue what is going on. And at that moment, an announcer walks in carrying a spear.)

ANNOUNCER: Caesar Nero, Emperor of all Rome!

(The announcer then stands aside, as trumpets begin to play.)

VICKI: (Squealing) Nero, I'm going to see Nero.

(Vicki dances excitedly on the spot until the Doctor and Princess shush her. As the trumpets continue to play, a big man walks in with a wreath around his head…and burps. This is Nero.)

PRINCESS: (Disgusted, quietly) Charming.

(Vicki bows, along with everyone else, except for the Doctor and Princess.)

DOCTOR: (Quietly) Royal felicitations it seems.

NERO: Someone spoke. Did I give permission to speak? Tavius, did I give permission?

DOCTOR: Caesar Nero, may I–

NERO: Now he's at it! How am I supposed to compose with all this noise going on?

TAVIUS: (Gesturing to Doctor) Maximus Pettulian.

NERO: Maximus Pettulian? (Looks at Doctor) He's Maximus Pettulian?

TAVIUS: Yes.

NERO: The lyre player from Corinth?

DOCTOR: In person.

NERO: Play.

DOCTOR: Hmm?

NERO: Play.

(Vicki looks to the Princess in alarm. The Princess doesn't look too sure either. Nevertheless, Vicki hands the Doctor the lyre she's holding.)

DOCTOR: With such a great musician as yourself present, I would take the inspiration from your example, sire.

(The Doctor holds out the lyre to Nero.)

NERO: (Pleased) Oh. (Takes the lyre) A stool.

(A servant quickly places a stool before Nero. The Doctor then goes to sit on it at the same time Nero goes to put his foot on it. Luckily, the Princess grabs the Doctor's arm and pulls him back in line with herself and Vicki. The Doctor is confused and annoyed, until he sees Nero's foot on the stool with the lyre balanced on his leg. Nero then strums briefly on the lyre.)

NERO: Oh, this is an inferior instrument, I cannot. (Passes the lyre back to Doctor) Bring the imperial lyre.

(A servant hands Nero another lyre.)

DOCTOR: Beautiful. Beautiful! Did you not hear that, my child, dear sister? That instant composition?

PRINCESS: The Emperor is too kind to grace us with such wondrous music.

VICKI: Could you play it…Maximus?

DOCTOR: Me? Well, I'll try, that is, with Caesar's permission.

(Nero gestures for the Doctor to go ahead. The Doctor then plays the same brief strum as Nero did.)

DOCTOR: That is the best I can do, I'm afraid.

VICKI: Oh, no, it wasn't as good, was it?

PRINCESS: No, the Emperor's was far more evocative.

NERO: Well, of course it was.

(Nero strums for longer this time.)

NERO: Try this one.

(Nero offers the Doctor his lyre. The Doctor hesitantly hands his lyre to the Princess, who hands it back to Vicki.)

DOCTOR: (Taking Nero's lyre) That your excellency would be an impossibility. After such exquisite playing, I cannot presume. It would be out of the question. May I suggest that this instrument goes to your temple?

(Nero, delighted, claps his hands and points for a servant to do so. The servant takes the lyre from the Doctor.)

NERO: And the imperial footstool.

(Nero removes his foot from the stool, and steps over to the Doctor. As he does, another servant picks it up.)

NERO: (To Doctor) Have you eaten, Maximus?

DOCTOR: No, not yet, excellency.

NERO (To Tavius) See that they are fed.

TAVIUS: Of course, excellency.

NERO: (To Doctor) We will talk and play together later, Maximus, when you have eaten – and practiced.

(Nero walks away chuckling, with his parade of servants following him out, including Tavius. The trumpets play again as they exit, and then the Doctor, Princess and Vicki are left alone in the room.)

DOCTOR: Well, I must say, I got out of that one rather well, hmm?

VICKI: That was brilliant, Doctor.

PRINCESS: It was. But the same trick won't work twice. I'd rather like to know what you plan to do the next time your asked to play?

DOCTOR: Well, you'll just have to wait and see, won't you, my dear?

(The Doctor chuckles to himself, while the Princess happily rolls her eyes and Vicki giggles. A servant then approaches them and gestures for them to follow him.)

DOCTOR: Time for dinner it seems.

VICKI: Oh, goodie, I'm starving.

(The three time travellers follow the servant out of the room.)

DOCTOR: Well, I told you, you should have gotten something to eat at the market.

VICKI: You did not.

DOCTOR: Yes, I did!

PRINCESS: Doctor, you did not, and you know it.

DOCTOR: Oh, so you're against me now too are you!

(The Princess and Vicki sigh as they leave the room after the servant, with the Doctor still going on…)

(Later, in the apodyterium, Vicki leads the Doctor and Princess into a room draped with curtains in between pillars.)

VICKI: Well, this seems to be the apodyterium. (Looks around but sees nothing) I wonder what Tavius meant?

PRINCESS: Well, he mentioned there was, 'Trouble,' and that he solved it. And that a man was here.

VICKI: Well, I don't see anybody other than us.

DOCTOR: I do wish he'd given us more information.

VICKI: Can't you just ask him?

DOCTOR: And risk giving myself away? Certainly not. Now, let's think… (Thinks for a moment) I doubt this was a meeting place, as no time was mentioned.

PRINCESS: So why tell us there was a man here at all?

(An idea occurs to the Doctor, as he begins looking behind the various curtains.)

PRINCESS: Doctor?

VICKI: Doctor, what is it?

DOCTOR: A suspicion, my child.

(He looks behind one curtain and finds something.)

DOCTOR: And one that has just been confirmed.

(The Princess and Vicki come over to see what's behind the curtain, only to find the centurion they met before dead on the floor.)

VICKI: Isn't that…

(The Princess quickly turns Vicki away from the sight.)

PRINCESS: Doctor, drop the curtain.

VICKI: But, Princess, that's the centurion who found us on the road.

DOCTOR: Yes. Apparently, this was the trouble that man, Tavius, dealt with.

(The Princess holds an unsettled Vicki close, while the Doctor lets the curtain fall, hiding the body.)

DOCTOR: But what does it all mean? What does it all mean, hmm...?

Next Episode – Conspiracy