Author's Note: This is probably the most info-dumpy chapter of this fic, so sorry for the long ass dialogues. I'm just too dumb to explain things any other way.
Important: I've changed details from canon. Don't try to compare the information I provide with their canonical counterparts. Names of departments, divisions, groups, etc. may have names similar to canon but their functioning and structure are changed for plot convenience.
That aside, I hope you enjoy!
Inoichi tried to guage the reactions of the two boys but apart from the slight widening of their eyes, they didn't give any of their thoughts away.
Good, he thought, being too expressive won't do them any favours in T and I.
"Why?" Shikamaru asked, slumping into the chair. He was prepared for this conversation to be a long one.
"Why am I extending this offer to you?"
Contrasting Shikamaru's posture, Naruto propped his head on his palms and laid his elbows on the desk. His face mostly remained blank as he replied,
"Yes. I don't see what's your reasoning here at all."
Inoichi hummed and pulled out two sheets of paper from his drawer. Laying them flat on his table, he urged the boys to read the contents of the documents.
"This one," he pointed at the sheet kept before Naruto, "is the apprenticeship request Jiraiya-san sent in for you two weeks ago. He's our village's spy master and you definitely know this already. He works in tandem with the Intel Division. His work is mostly independent and he's been maintaining direct correspondence with the Hokage but he still answers to our Intel Head from time to time."
Inoichi let the information sink in and got a nod from Naruto to carry on. He turned his gaze to the paper held by Shikamaru then.
"And that is the recruitment request by the Analysis Department for you Shikamaru. They'd wanted you to work for them ever since you became genin but you were too inexperienced and we couldn't allow anyone into any branches of the Intel Division without some field experience. Now though, you two atleast clear the basic criteria to be offered these positions."
Naruto didn't know what to think of this. In his original timeline, Jiraiya had never so much as suggested that Naruto learn his craft of spying and information gathering. He understood the logic behind it too–Naruto hadn't been very subtle as a genin and he didn't have any secretive bone in his body even by the age of 15. He could accept that he'd change since then. The war and his hokageship had inculcated an interest towards quieter, peaceful jobs in him despite his... fondness for combat.
On the other hand, Shikamaru wasn't all that surprised by this information. His father had always made it a point to nudge him in the direction of the Analysis team. Apart from being jounin commander, Shikaku was also a long-standing member of the Analysis Department; even been its head for a few years in his three decades long career. After observing similar interests in his son, he'd thought it best for Shikamaru to also join this department and the current Head had been more than happy to follow through with Shikaku's suggestions.
"Cool," the Nara muttered, glancing at the modest salary this job would provide him. He looked at Inoichi then, folding the sheet and tucking it in his vest pocket. "So why exactly would we join T and I when we've been approached for jobs more suited for us?"
Naruto already knew the answer to this but he put on a slightly curious expression nonetheless. Inoichi smiled at them as if it was a joy to fill ignorant rookies about important matters of the village.
"It isn't a this or that choice as you seem to believe," the Yamanaka ran a hand through his long ponytail,
"Joining the T and I and undergoing basic training here is a necessity if you wish to join the Intel Division at all. As you two may know, the Intel Division has two departments under it, though both of them retain alot of autonomy for their working. They are the T and I and the Analysis Departments. We, at the T and I use interrogation and torture - along with mind arts - to gather intel. Sometimes it's straightforward and the information is sent directly to the Intel Division to process, document and store. Other times, it's a code or some cryptic message we receive–in which case we throw it at the Analysis team that decodes that message which is then sent to the I.D. Sounds simple enough right? It is, for the most case. There are complications but you'll only learn how to cope with them through hands-on experience."
Naruto considered these words with utmost seriousness. This felt like undergoing some weird form of career counseling where the person behind the desk was actually providing relevant information for a change. Shikamaru nodded along at some parts, those were tidbits he knew about from shogi conversations with his father. Playing the game always made Shikaku a little loose-lipped.
"Alright," Shikamaru commented, straightening up. "What's this basic training supposed to be teaching us?"
"You know, the usual stuff," Inoichi replied but anyone from a mile away could spot the smirk he made no effort to hide. He jerked his head towards Naruto,
"For you–it'll be things like how to interrogate someone, use intimidation as a tool to extract information, manipulate someone to slip a piece of important intel. If you ever work as a spy, you'll come in contact with your targets from whom you'll be getting valuable knowledge. Being subtle about it is the way to go. You don't want them to know that they're actually telling you something important. So, torture is usually the last resort. Nevertheless, you'll learn some of those methods too."
That was a little concerning but Naruto didn't fret too much about it. If he did his job well, it would never come to torture. He doubted he'd be able to do it–though if the stakes were high enough, he'd grit his teeth, fist his palms and carry out his duty.
Inoichi addressed the Nara then, "You'll be learning most of these interrogation tactics too. Solely, to resist them and not fall for them. Bring a decoder will mean that you'll have a target on your back and for good reason. The info you can come across during your job can put Konoha in peril if it falls into the enemy's hands. Torture resistance is something you'll go through eventually, but as a newbie you won't be allowed to let in on very important matters so the chances of an Iwa nin torturing you for the location of our ANBU bases is stupid because you don't know it–and while Iwa may have a bunch of assholes in their forces, they're not exactly dumb."
Inoichi sighed, all the talking making him bored. His mind itched to invade another's but he had to get through this meeting responsibly. So he continued,
"Both of you will learn how to code messages, in reading and in speaking. Anyone in the Intel Division knows our little saying Look for what they don't say; say what you don't mean. Keep the shit you know to yourself and weaponsize the Intel you gather. Share your knowledge sparingly." Inoichi rubbed his neck,
"That's enough advice and talk for today. To conclude, you two gotta tell me if you are up for joining T and I for the next six months. You'll be put through the wringer and get crash courses on various topics every week. It'll be tough, and it'll be a bit like living in hell but once you've passed the training–you'll have secured an excellent job or an apprenticeship under a fucking Sannin so I'd say the pain is worth the gain. I'll be assigning you basic tasks and odd jobs while you go through the training too–get some D-rank mission money that way. You'd still be required to work on field missions once a month but that's it. Most of it is just constant learning and honing of your minds."
"Can we sleep on it?" Naruto asked.
Inoichi rolled his eyes, "You chunin and your overthinking brains. Just make a goddamn decision right now. Thinking for a night won't magically provide you with some great insight."
Shikamaru chuckled, "If I'll have to do so much on-the-spot thinking in T and I, I'm up for it." He leaned forward, "My answer's a yes. I accept the training and the subsequent recruitment offer."
Naruto groaned, "So you didn't even speak with your parents or your team or your sensei for advice? Just went ahead and did the Nara equivalent of a hug with the T and I Department?"
Shikamaru shrugged, "What's there to think about? The Analysis Department is just where I wanted to end up in so this is nothing short of a golden opportunity and I have sufficient foresight to not let it go."
Naruto didn't pout, but it was close. He was in a dilemma and he'd come to hate those. While joining the Intel Division would provide him access to alot of information, and hence help him keep track of the Akatsuki - it would also take him away from alot of the forefront fighting.
"I'm from an assault team," he spoke up. "And I'm damn good at it. So why do you think I'll be better doing covert spy missions than battling shinobi who threaten us?"
Inoichi raised both his brows at him as if Naruto was being particularly dense.
"Your master is Jiraiya–one of the Sannin, the most powerful team of his generation–and you're still asking me this question? Spying on enemy nations comes with huge, very huge risks. Sometimes, you will have to put an end to a threat that would cause too much damage if it's left idle. Other times, you'll have to fight your way out if you're discovered. Why do you think Jiraiya is so good at what he does? He's not only discreet but also capable of winning against the plenty of foes that come his way."
Well... that made some sense. Naruto thought for a bit and Shikamaru and Inoichi stayed thankfully silent. After a good five minutes, Naruto hit his head on the table–sure that this decision would be one he'd soon regret.
"Fine," he huffed into the wood, much to the amusement of Inoichi. "I'm in. But if you teach me how to properly peep at women in bathhouses as a tactic of information gathering–I swear to kami I'll kill you."
Inoichi gave a short, hearty laugh.
"Already threatening your boss? I'm gonna have so much fun making your life difficult, Naruto."
Naruto looked up again, giving Inoichi an intense stare.
"I don't like you very much, chief."
Inoichi gave him a nice, sunny smile.
"You'll also come to hate me very soon."
"We're so stupid," Naruto whispered the moment they were out of the T and I building.
Shikamaru snorted. Seeing Naruto so discomposed and mortified wasn't a daily occurrence and he was enjoying every moment of it.
"You're overreacting," he stated flatly. "Inoichi-san just has a flair for dramatics and likes to present the front of sadist to keep his rep. Have you ever seen him with Ino? He's a total Papa Bear. Ino's puppy-dog eyes are his greatest weakness. So don't fall for his scary side. He's a softie."
Naruto shoved his hands in his pockets, "I know, I know. But he's too good at faking it, okay? Like why did his ink brush have a knife end? How does he not cut his palm every time he uses it? Why can't any jounin in Konoha be sane and normal?"
The Nara chuckled, "Just calm down. We can handle Inoichi, trust me. Besides, this training is going to be fun–I won't have to handle those academy brats or border patrols anymore. What a sweet deal."
"True," Naruto replied, now a lot less agitated. "But you'll now have to handle criminals or our very annoying enemies instead."
Shikamaru waved his hand dismissively, "Passing threats of bodily harm while maintaining a poker face? That's piece of cake for me. I'll very much enjoy the process, don't worry."
Naruto rolled his eyes, done with this conversation. He couldn't exactly share his other concerns with Shikamaru. Atleast, not right now. He'd always kept the Akatsuki in the back of his mind–a constant reminder of the war he had to prevent. His initial plan had been to eliminate as many members as he could before he'd left the village for training last time.
Itachi and Kisame were out but that still left seven of them. Jiraiya's apprenticeship meant he'd be leaving Konoha again to understand the Sannin's extensive spy network and get acquainted with his tasks as a part of it, but there was no promised combat training mentioned. Not that Naruto needed it anyway.
He would be lying if he said he wasn't apprehensive of the future battles he'd have to fight against Pain and Obito and the rest of the Akatsuki but he knew that he'd be more than ready to take them on when the time came.
For now, he'd focus on the new direction his life had taken. His ambitions had long since abandoned any notion of becoming Hokage and apart from prevent war, he didn't have anything particular he'd wanted to do. This offer from Jiraiya and the T and I had definitely been unexpected but not bad.
Definitely not bad.
"Shit," Shikamaru said under his breath, pulling Naruto by the arm till they both crashed painfully against a wall.
"What was that?" Naruto asked, squinting to see who Shikamaru was hiding from.
"It's my mom," the Nara said, scratching his head as he continued to peek at the woman, "I promised I'd return to go shopping with her but then all this happened and I forgot to send her a message that I'd be late. She's going to kill me tonight."
Naruto looked at Shikamaru with sympathy. But it wasn't for any of the reasons the Nara thought.
The blond turned around, quick as an arrow, cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled,
"Yoshino-san! What a pleasant surprise to see you here! Shikamaru was just talking about how he used his intellect to get out of spending time wi–"
...is all he got out before Shikamaru kicked him hard on his back. But no amount of violence could stop the trouble that Shikamaru was now in.
"Asshole," Shikamaru muttered sourly as he saw his mom walk into the alleyway and towards him.
"Hello, son," she said with a lovely smile.
Shikamaru knew what death looked like, in that moment.
"I will be joining you," Hiruzen Sarutobi declared, looking straight into Shikaku's eyes–daring him to speak against him.
"Don't be stubborn," Tsunade replied sternly, rubbing her temples, "You're retired, for fuck's sake. I won't allow you to go on a shinobi mission and put yourself and others in danger."
Hiruzen smiled at his student, hollow and brittle,
"I may have lost everyone's respect, Tsunade. But I haven't lost the strength that made me the God of Shinobi."
Tsunade didn't refute the point, she was aware that sensei could still defeat her if he went all out but his request–or well, announcement–was just too insane to approve.
"Why can't you just enjoy your retirement?" The Fifth Hokage asked with exasperation, pouring a good amount of sake in her cup.
"I think I'll enjoy myself thoroughly in this mission, don't you worry."
Shikaku coughed, "If I may interject, Lord Third, Lord Fifth–uh, the squads are already drafted and we have more than enough shinobi to take care of this task. Your assistance, while appreciated will be unnecessary."
Hiruzen chuckled, "You think Danzo can be taken down by a couple jounin?"
"They're the best ones we have. Hatake, Gai, Asuma, Yuhi and the whole Squad Gamma from ANBU plus Tenzo–they're all assigned to target Danzo. They'll kill him, I know they will."
Hiruzen stayed silent for a moment then a frown appeared on his forehead.
"Don't do that. Danzo's got many capable shinobi in Root. Our elite jounin will be needed to take care of them. Danzo has two personal guards too–one's our spy, another's a real threat. Let Hatake and Gai handle him. I'll deal with Danzo with Tenzo and Asuma's assistance. Let me do this, Tsunade."
The resolve in Hiruzen's eyes, the determination in his posture didn't suprise Tsunade. She knew he really wanted to do this–maybe it was his way of atoning for his mistakes; to kill a former friend he'd let cause harm for far too long. Or maybe he just wanted the thrill of a fight again–to go down in battle.
But what really caught her unawares was the desperation in her sensei's voice. Like this was a thing he absolutely had to do, no matter what.
Well, it wasn't a decision she was happy about but one she made because whether she openly acknowledged it or not, she owed her sensei this much.
"Okay," she said with gritted teeth, "You're on the mission. Now both of you get out and let me enjoy my sake in peace."
Hiruzen and Shikaku were more than happy to be dismissed. They walked in peaceful silence till the exit and parted ways after a goodbye.
Hiruzen Sarutobi stood in the balcony of his respectable home with an air of satisfaction. He hadn't been the best leader, he could openly admit it. But he was born a fighter.
And now, he was ready to die as one.
Author's Note:
Thank you for reading!