A group of cloaked, hulking men stepped out of the shadow of the trees. Within a flash, Neji stepped in front.
"Hinata-sama, stay back," he said. "They seem threatening."
"Neji nii-san, it's all right." Hinata sighed. "They must just be some new...fans." She grimaced at the word fans. It tasted like wasabi in her mouth, but she was getting used to it, after months of confusion, embarrassment, and torment.
The ringleader of the group – a bald man with a large gash running from his right eye to his chin – grinned.
"Yeah, you could say that we're your fans, Hyuuga-san." He held up a copy of Awesome Assassins from Across the Five Great Nations. "So is it true that your blood has secret powers?"
Hinata's brain ground to a halt. "I...what?"
"Come on, there has to be some reason why the correct answer is "It's a secret." I mean, I tried everything! "B positive," "AB negative," "no Rh antigen available." I even tried "universal donor" and "universal acceptor." None of them worked! Some other idiot won the prize!"
"Who won the prize?" Hinata asked. She decided not to ask what "the correct answer" was for, what prize was being given out, or any other pressing matters about that magazine.
Hinata knew by now that when you were dealing with seemingly unhinged fans, the best thing to do was talk calmly and politely, so that they wouldn't get any ideas about charging and attacking. And above all, do not reveal that you had no idea what they were talking about.
This had served her well with an incident involving a "Hinata-matsuri" somewhere in Water Country. She thought the villagers were celebrating "Hina-matsuri." She was wrong. That had been awful, with the creepy Hinata dolls that they were...doing things to for good fortune.
She shuddered at the memory just as the head missing-nin said, "The winner of the crossword puzzle was some dumbass called Naruto!"
Hinata and Neji froze up at the mention of Naruto's name.
The gang of missing-nin laughed raucously as their leader opened up to a page of the magazine and began reading.
"He got everything about you right in this. Your favorite color, your favorite food, your hobbies, your blood type, even your favorite phrase. Self-confidence, right?" He leered at her from across the road. "So...what's the deal with your blood type? Is it special, just like your eyes?"
Hinata wanted to slam her head against a chabudai again.
There was...a lot to process in those sentences. She didn't know where to start. On one hand, her stomach bubbled happily at the thought of Naruto filling out the crossword like it was a cakewalk.
Her head drifted off into the Chuunin Exams, the one that Morino Ibiki was proctoring. In her mind, she glanced at the questions and received the shock of her life, jolted back to reality by the one sitting next to her.
"Awww, questions about Hinata!" The sprightly blonde sitting next to her grinned. "If all the questions are this easy, then I'll be Hokage in no time!"
On the other hand, she needed to save those happy daydreams for later. It looked like these individuals were not friendly, and that they had similar intentions as the ninja from Kumo all those years ago when she was three.
She should have just told her fan that her blood type was A positive and left it at that. This fame business was a pain.
"What, not gonna talk?" The ringleader grinned like a hungry shark. "Well, that's all right. I'll just get the answers out of you by force."
He charged.
She and Neji exchanged calm glances, getting into a back-to-back fighting position, activating their eyes, locating the missing-nin's tenketsu with deadly, unerring accuracy.
This time, things were different than when she was three.
She had nii-san with her. And she knew that there would be no diplomatic scandal for taking these men out.
Tsunade was woken from her blissful daydream by the rude slam of papers on her desk.
She scowled at the interruption, then contorted her face into an overly bright smile when she saw who it was.
Unlike last time, Izumo looked horrorstruck. He wildly gesticulated at the papers he had just dumped on her desk.
"Tsu-Tsunade-sama, huge trouble! Hyuuga Hinata, she's...she's..."
Tsunade bolted from her chair, snatching the documents up and examining them with increasingly alarmed eyes. The missives were short and abrupt, the ink splotchy and nearly illegible, as though the person writing them was in a tearing hurry and could not believe the information they had just received.
Highway hitjob. Possible Byakugan-snatching attempt?
Thankfully foiled by Hyuuga Hinata and Hyuuga Neji.
Hyuuga Hinata covered in the blood of her enemies, Hyuuga Neji's hairstyle ruined (also covered in enemies' blood but looking very disgruntled about it).
Millions in property damage.
Daimyo of Fire Country requesting audience with Godaime Hokage.
With each line, Tsunade's breathing became increasingly labored, and by the time she reached the last line, she, too, wanted to slam her head against a table until she passed out.
She really should have paid attention to the problem in its early stages.
A/N: Please leave a review! :)
Tsunade and Hinata finally regret the stuff that happened previously!
I'm glad that you guys are enjoying this little comedy fic. Btw, since someone asked again, obviously Naruto is my favorite right now, but I've been reading Gokushufudou lately and I've been loving that (not the anime though, just the manga). Very different from Naruto, but still fun to read! :)