Tsunade forced herself to give the daimyo a polite, strained smile, even as her fists collected chakra with every passing second. Shizune gave her a warning look and shook her head slightly.

No, Tsunade-sama, you cannot harm, threaten, or kill the daimyo. It's ILLEGAL, she mouthed over said oblivious daimyo's head.

WHY NOT? she mouthed back. He still hasn't told us what happened with Hinata and Neji and those missing-nin.

Please be patient, Shizune scolded silently.

Tsunade scowled. Shizune did not relent, shooting her boss a scowl of her own for ten long seconds before Tsunade finally relented.

Fine, she mouthed, before turning her attention to the daimyo, who was still...

"And your chuunin, Tsunade-hime...your chuunin was brilliant! When I heard that she was covered in her enemies' blood, I gave her a week-long vacation with my armed guards! And then I asked her for her autograph, but her pen was broken! Because her cousin, Byo? Hineri...?"

"I think you mean Hyuuga Neji, oyakata-sama," Shizune said.

"Right! Nenza!" The daimyo clapped his hands, his bony cheeks quivering in delight at having gotten Neji's name wrong again. "Hyuuga-san's cousin Nenza threw the pen at one of them and pierced his liver!"

Tsunade sighed.

"So...oyakata-sama...may I ask – "

"So they came to my castle covered in blood, you see, and they didn't have any pens!"

"Oyakata-sama..."

"So I asked Hyuuga-san to sign for me just like that!"

Tsunade exchanged a wary look with Shizune.

I'll handle this, Shizune mouthed.

"Sign just like what, oyakata-sama?" Shizune asked bravely.

"With her enemies' blood!" The daimyo produced a purple note from his pocket and waved it around excitedly.

Tsunade squinted at Hinata's handwriting. Her calligraphy was perfect, graceful, and sloping. No browning of the lines, no blotchiness due to blood clots, and (Tsunade knew from years of hemophobia) no awful, tangy, iron scent.

It was just red paint. The Hyuuga cousins weren't covered in their enemies' blood after all.

Not that the daimyo knew that. She really needed to get the full story behind whatever had transpired with Hinata, but that wasn't going to happen for at least a week, given what the daimyo said about giving her a vacation.

Tsunade barely refrained from slamming her head against the wall and decided to actually read the note. She could make out suffering in Hinata's elegant penmanship. There was no way that she truly wanted to sign this for the daimyo.

Guilt surged through Tsunade's spine as she realized that this was why that poor girl did not want to set foot outside of Konoha.

To the daimyo of Fire Country and my biggest fan,

My best regards,

Hyuuga Hinata

Here followed very...realistic sketches of Hinata and the daimyo skipping around a field together, Hinata and the daimyo eating ice cream together, Hinata and the daimyo going to a festival together, Hinata and the daimyo drinking a soda through a shared straw (Tsunade cringed at that one).

There was also a sketch of a miniature lion cub and cute little hand-drawn cinnamon swirl designs lining the edges of the stationery.

Shizune stared at the note with a mix of pity and horror.

The daimyo asked her to draw all of that? she mouthed at Tsunade.

Guess so, Tsunade mouthed back. I'll give her a pay raise and allow her to take a break from leaving the village.

Poor Hinata.

Meanwhile, in the capital of Fire Country, Hinata and Neji were taking full advantage of the vacation the daimyo had bestowed upon them. Although she was sure that she would get nightmares about the note she had to sign for the daimyo, at this rate, Hinata was willing to count her blessings. Thank the heavens that he didn't go around claiming that her cousin was part of her harem or something. The two decided to pull a Kakashi-sensei and just wear masks for the whole vacation. Things would be easier that way. She thought. She hoped.

So far, this had worked out well, because no one had stopped her on the street, asking her about her "concubines," no one had offered her ridiculous sums of money, and no one tried to ask her about her blood type or how it was like to get kidnapped.

True, she didn't know how Kakashi-sensei breathed through these awfully suffocating cloth masks. He always seemed to be perfectly at ease in that mask, no breathing or eating difficulties, no bad breath, no oily, pimply face. She resolved to ask him for tips when she got back to Konoha. The masked life was more and more appealing to her by the day.

"Dango, Hinata-sama?" Neji asked, holding out a skewer of pink and green hanami ones.

"Ah, thank you, nii-san." She nodded at him and they both ducked under the awnings of an empty shop, hiding in the shadows so that they could eat in peace without deranged fanclubs or hateclubs spotting them by some chance.

They munched dango in companionable silence, enjoying what little of the fresh air and sunshine they could through the masks, when Hinata finally decided to voice the question that had been gnawing at her stomach for the past few days.

"Neji nii-san..." Hinata asked, furrowing her brow. "Why did you stab that man in the liver?"

Her cousin stared at her as though the answer was obvious.

"Because he called you a loser, Hinata-sama."

A/N: Hope you liked the Hyuuga cousin bonding! :) Neji has CHANGED since the Chuunin Exams. Will his hateclub find out? Stay tuned!