Sasuke stared down at the defeated army in satisfaction, all collapsed as though they were struck dead with Chidori. But no. That would require too much time and effort, and besides, there was somebody else he had to kill.
Someone in the shadows clapped loudly, long, slow, and almost mocking.
"Well done, Sasuke-kun. One hundred enemies taken out in five minutes." Orochimaru smiled in a very creepy way. "Sometimes I think back to how I was called a genius in my youth, and how foolish those assessments were when there's someone like you."
Sasuke said nothing to this praise, adjusting the sword at his side instead. So naturally, Orochimaru chose that moment to drop a bombshell on him.
"By the way, your brother was eating ramen in Konoha the other day."
Sasuke dropped his sword. Orochimaru continued smiling blithely, as though he was discussing the weather, cloudy with a slight chance of drizzling.
"What did you say?" he demanded.
"He ordered miso ramen with an extra helping of naruto, according to my sources..." Orochimaru frowned thoughtfully, like he was questioning this wisdom. "Personally, I prefer shoyu ramen with aonegi – "
"What did you say?" Sasuke repeated. "Why was Itachi in Konoha?"
"To ask Hyuuga Hinata if there were any spots open in her harem, perhaps. Or maybe just to sample the ramen," Orochimaru said, smiling once again in a very creepy way. "My sources weren't clear, but he and the Hyuuga parted on cordial terms."
"What – Hyuuga Hinata – harem?" Sasuke by now looked like an absolutely deranged man, with blown-out eyes and bony-white, clenched fists, completely unable to make head or tail of the news regarding his brother, ramen, and Hyuuga Hinata.
Orochimaru yawned loudly and theatrically. "Sasuke-kun, all work and no play makes for a very dull boy. Hyuuga's harem is old news. You should get out more and read fan magazines like Awesome Assassins from Across the Five Great Nations."
"What?"
"This conversation is getting quite tiresome," Orochimaru said, wandering away. "I do not wish to speak to a broken record. Now, if you'll excuse me, Kabuto has to administer my medicine."
Sasuke growled in response to this statement. Orochimaru was either too far away to hear, or thought it would be funny not to respond. It was tough for Sasuke to tell.
"Wait, Orochimaru – where are you – ANSWER ME – "
Having long since vanished into the shadows again, Orochimaru did not.
Poor Sasuke.
A deafening boom echoed throughout the hideout, causing Kabuto to tsk while preparing Orochimaru's medicine.
"Which idiot woke Sasuke-kun up from his nap? He's been so grumpy lately."
Ever since that fateful day with her bandit fanboy, Hinata had hardly experienced a single normal, relaxing moment. Her sensei, Yuuhi Kurenai, could easily make that out from the constant frown lines on her face, her hunched-up shoulders, the way she had reverted to her old habit of fiddling with her fingers even now, in the onsen, where she could usually count on Hinata to unwind and smile a little.
Kurenai sighed.
"Hinata," she said. "If you ever want to talk about anything..."
"I'm fine, Kurenai-sensei." Hinata's voice sounded dead inside. "My mission to Bird Country was successful. I'm happy." She sounded even more dead.
"I...I understand that being summoned to resolve diplomatic issues between foreign countries can be – "
"Cinnamon roll recipe. They all wanted my favorite cinnamon roll recipe."
Hinata's white eyes were empty and haunted. Kurenai didn't know what she'd seen over there. She suspected that Hinata wouldn't tell her.
Kurenai and her student lapsed into an awkward silence, occasionally punctuated by Kiba's terrified screaming over in the men's section of the bath.
Hinata gave no indication that she had heard.
Meanwhile, at least three Kage were busy writing long, furious letters to one beleaguered Tsunade, all requesting a talk with a certain potential Noodle Country overlord immediately.
Poor Hinata.
A/N: Was thinking of how to include Kurenai in this for a while...
Tell me what you think! :)