AN: Hello everybody and thank you to all of the new readers checking out this story, it means a lot to me that people have taken the time to read this as it's a story I am loving to write. This chapter is a little change of pace as it's written from Minerva's perspective for the most part. As the story develops I want to explore other perspectives more frequently so hopefully this goes down well.

To Zigostia- Thank you for your lovely review! I love the possibilites of that motherly bond between Minerva and Harry, so I'm glad to see someone shares that. There are plenty of chapters to come!

-MP-

Chapter 10: The Janus Thickey Ward

Minerva looked around the startling white ward, each resident given an equally white curtain they could draw around themselves if they wished. She blinked owlishly as she took in her surroundings, she had been here for several days and she still didn't quite understand why.

In a way, she felt completely fine, but that would last as long as it took for somebody to ask her a question about herself, or what they thought they knew about her. Then a thick fog of confusion would engulf her mind, and she didn't know who she was or where she had come from – not really anyway.

She shared the ward of six beds with four other people, and over the course of the last few days she had come to know who they were. Firstly, there was Frank and Alice Longbottom but she only knew their names because a Medi-Witch had told her her. She had asked because they looked so dreamy and lost, and because they didn't answer when she spoke to them.

There was an elderly man who went by Ennis, he was thin and frail yet he had the warmest smile that always reached his dark chestnut eyes. Minerva had spoken to him quite a bit, consequently she knew he was admitted because of a potion experiment that had gone terribly wrong. He was trying to brew a cure for arthritis as he was struggling to hold his wand, unfortunately the result was losing the ability to use any of his limbs. The Medi-Witches were currently using an array of potions to help him move again; with limited success so far.

The last person she shared the ward with was perhaps the most annoying, a boisterous blonde who only wore the most garish of colours. Such as lavender, cornflower blue or merlin forbid- puce! He had an array of photographs of himself around the bed, all moving and smiling in a cheesy fashion, alongside a pile of photos and a quill to sign his name at every opportunity. He said he was a famous wizard, and she seemed to know him for some reason, yet she couldn't quite place him. Regardless, she found Gilderoy Lockhart to be very and almost continually, annoying.

Her days always seemed to drag sitting on the ward, spending much of it wondering how she got there in the first place. Instinctually, she knew that it wasn't where she belonged but there was something preventing her from reaching the memories. Lost somewhere deep inside of her. She had one regular visitor, a man named Harry who seemed to care for her very much. He took the time to explain that she had dragon pox, a seizure and then lost her memory but the story didn't feel familiar at all. As if he was talking about somebody else rather than herself.

She became distant, swimming in her own mind when she was disturbed by one of the morning medi-witches doing their rounds.

"Cup of tea, Minerva?" The woman said kindly as she pushed the trolley to the foot of the bed.

"Yes, please." Minerva replied, sitting herself up straighter against her pillows. "No sugar."

The medi-witch passed the tea across to Minerva along with a copy of Transfiguration Today, which Minerva gladly accepted.

One of the joys of her week was being able to flip through the pages and stare in awe at the witches and wizards showcasing their skills, their craftsmanship giving her an urge to sneak her wand and try it herself. She would do that one of these days she thought cheekily to herself.

She reached across to the nightstand to set down her tea, she was about to start reading her magazine when a familiar face popped into view by sticking their head through the curtain.

"Good Morning!" The blonde wizard beamed as he stepped through the curtains. "How are you feeling today, Minerva?"

Her eyes squinted at his question. "The same as always, Mr Buttonwood." She remarked testily.

She didn't know why, but something irked her about her Medi-Witches chirpiness, he seemed far too gleeful all of the time. Even in a place as depressing as the ward.

"Now… now…" He purred, as he walked over and took her wrist into his hands to check her pulse. "Do you remember what we discussed yesterday?"

Minerva pursed her lips. "Of course I do, it is my long term memories that have gone, not my wits!"

He chuckled lightly at her response. He then took out his wand, a pale wood with etched markings around it and pointed it at her abdomen and head conducting various tests, his automatic quill scribbling for him as he went.

"Well of course Minerva, I wouldn't dare to insinuate otherwise. Likewise, as I discussed we are preparing a new potion protocol for you and you should prepare yourself, as it won't be easy."

Her lips somehow became so pursed they resembled a long, thin line.

About as easy as forgetting who you are. She quipped to herself.

"That is fine Mr Buttonwood, I am prepared to do anything necessary. Anything to make sense of all of…. this." She gestured around the room.

His expression softened towards her and she sat himself down at the end of her bed.

"I appreciate that your situation is very difficult, if it was me, I would be feeling quite overwhelmed at it all." He offered gently.

Minerva's face relaxed also. "Difficult not so much, but confusing, it is very much so."

Mr Buttonwood was silent for a moment as he considered what to say next, he closed his charts and focused on the elderly witch before him. "Minerva, as we discussed previously we have excellent mind healers if you ever wanted to talk about what you are going through. It's nothing to be ashamed of and you should know that you have so many people on your team, they are with you every step of the way."

She looked sternly at the Medi-Witch, confusion inevitably striking again, how could she possibly have a whole team of people waiting for her if she couldn't remember any of them. Not how they met, what they were to each other…. not anything.

"Minerva." The medi-witch said delicately. "I promise you, there are many people that love you."

He got up to leave, casting a final look at Minerva who was clearly trying to blink away tears.

She looked at her lap sadly, her mind swirling in thoughts as she tried to make sense of them. She could look at somebody as something would feel familiar about them, she knew she could trust them but when she searched for them in her mind it was like playing quidditch in a storm without goggles. Your vision is obscured leaving you unsure on which way is up.

Furious with herself and her situation, and in another attempt to block out the strutting Gilderoy who was flouncing from bed to bed. She returned to her magazine and flipped through the pages, finding herself wishfully looking at the witches and wizards it contained.

The day was drawing to a close, various medi-witches had encouraged her to join the group activities but she found them either frustrating or underwhelming. She spent some time in the shared area before retreating back to her bed, a growing feeling of despondence settling within her.

There were footsteps and bustling beyond the curtain, she recognised the voice of her favourite visitor who was talking quickly to one of the medi-witches before he appeared at her bed. "Harry." She breathed, letting a smile emerge across her lips for the first time that day.

"Hey Min." He said, as he dropped himself into the chair next to the bed and examined her carefully. His eyebrow cocked in her direction. "Is everything okay, Min?"

She looked gratefully at the tall black haired man, sporting some rugged stubble this late in the day, and as ever, she wondered why she enjoyed seeing him so much. His daily visit warming the day and making it tolerable.

"I am now." She said, her watery eyes on Harry's who looked back at her full of love. He smiled at her before asking about her day, which she gladly filled him in on pushing her troubles and churning emotions out of view for just a little while. Minerva reached out and Harry took her hand into his, it brought her great comfort which she was happily going to bask in whilst she could.

Harry examined her face more closely feeling troubled, it was rare to see Minerva emotional but something felt off with her today. He got out of his chair and climbed into bed next to her pulling her thin frame into a tight, warm embrace. Upon contact, a river of silent tears traced her cheeks.

She looked sadly down at her lap, her body limp as if something deep inside of her was giving up. "I'm lost, Harry." She mumbled.

He squeezed her against him even tighter, his heart shattering again even though he didn't think after these last few weeks that it would even be possible. Seeing her unconscious and in pain was devastating enough, but seeing the woman he cared for so deeply in such turmoil. Threatened his already precariously glued together psyche.

"Not forever, Minerva." He turned his head and planted a gentle kiss on her temple.

Minerva sniffed gratefully. "What if I am?" She asked, her voice straining with sorrow. "I look around me, at magazines, and I just wonder what it all means. I think about who I am supposed to be every day, and I can't seem to get any closer."

"You're Minerva McGonagall." Harry asserted. He changed his position on the bed to look at her face, stained with tears and softened by the sadness she was holding back. "You might not understand what that means right now, but you will. I will make sure of it."

She looked at him thoughtfully, Harry was sure that confusion overlayed the despair. A twisting mix that she punished herself with. When she spoke this time, her voice took a more serious tone. Fixing her eyes onto Harry's. "But why do you care? Why would you do so much for… me?"

Harry felt his own tears begin to threaten his eyes but he blinked them away so Minerva wouldn't see. "Now that is something I do know the answer to."

Minerva continued to look stern at him in waiting. "Well. Go on then" She said.

He smirked lightly, thinking back to her ferocious Hogwarts days. "I have known you for a long time, ever since I was eleven years old. You cared for me, and watched out for me when many other adults in my life didn't."

Minerva's expression softened as she listened carefully, soaking in every word that Harry spoke.

"Several years ago I was not in a good place, I was hurting myself and my family and I was lost. Just like you are now. Except, I caused myself to be lost because I chased away all of my thoughts and feelings with as much alcohol as I could buy. That was until you came and found me one late afternoon."

"I did?" She responded in surprise. "I helped?"

"You did more than that." Harry replied. Another light smile gracing his lips. "You took me under your wing and helped me face everything dark and hurting in my heart. Without you, Minerva. I don't think I would be sitting here with right now."

She listened to Harry until he was finished, and then silently contemplated his words. Had she really done all of those things that Harry had described? If she hadn't, then why would Harry remain so steadfast at her side without reason. The confusion intensified, and the distant look that darkened her eyes was growing again. Harry nudged her gently and she returned to moment, turning to look at Harry and flash a smile in hope to comfort him.

"Did I overwhelm you?" His soft voice asked.

"No.. well…" She tried to draw her thoughts together. " I – I…" but her words seemed thick on her tongue, twisting, until embarrassment flared within her. Casting hateful thoughts inwardly to herself because she her mind wouldn't let her make sense of anything. Like her true self was pounding on the walls in her mind, desperate for escape.

"Minerva?" He coaxed with a whisper. "It's alright."

She snapped her head back to him, searching for his green eyes to warm her soul. Just then, she grabbed his arm but with more force than she had intended but clung to it nevertheless.

"Just don't go." She said limply.

Harry quickly wiped his own tears from his eyes and cupped her face, he could see the confusion and punishment she was giving herself. He recognised it instantly because he had seen it so many times himself, in the mirror glaring back at him day after day. A reality he would never have wanted for Minerva.

"Never." He breathed.

The Medi-Witches were conducting their last checks of the day, and Harry decided to spend the rest of their time together by holding her close. Tugging her copy of Transfiguration Today in front of them, asking her various questions to distract them both from the situation unfolding around them.