***Link finally regains all his memories, and makes an uncomfortable discovery***
Chapter Six – so many memories, one big regret
One by one, I regained control of the Divine Beasts and added the leaders of the various races of Hyrule to my growing list of friends. Prince Sidon of the Zoras, in particular, became a very faithful friend. The only word I can really think of to describe him is exuberant, although unwaveringly optimistic also seems a fitting phrase for him. The only time I ever saw him even a little bit somber was when he stood before his sister's statue at night and spoke to her.
Speaking of Sidon's sister, I had eventually remembered her, as well. She was the Zora princess in the first memory I recovered, and we had spent time together as children when my royal guard father had brought me along on his escort duties for the king's visits to the Zora king, Dorephan. I had played with her and many other Zora children, and she had become like a sister to me, always watching out for me and healing my wounds when I got hurt. I felt bad when I discovered that as we grew up together, she had come to see me as a potential husband, and I had never picked up on that. But she seemed to have made peace with it when I met her spirit on Vah Rutah, and she even gifted me with her healing power, which touched me deeply. Her armor, her Lightscale Trident, and her healing gift will remain bittersweet reminders of a dear friend who loved me.
I remembered Daruk very fondly, too. From the first memory I recovered, I knew he was a fatherly, mentor type. I never got tired of or offended by him calling me "little guy," he said it so fondly. Besides, all us Champions were little compared to him, even the towering Urbosa.
Urbosa was rather like a mentor or comrade in arms to me, but she was very protective and motherly toward the princess. I understood that she had been a dear friend of the queen before the queen died, and had become a sort of surrogate mother to Zelda, although the princess was seldom able to see her before we all teamed up as Champions. Though we never spoke of it, I'm pretty sure Urbosa suspected that my own protectiveness of the princess was as much to do with my heart as it was to do with my sense of duty.
Revali… he was, if you'll pardon the expression, an odd duck. He certainly had a right to be proud of his accomplishments, but I could see through all his bluster that he was coming from a place of some sort of pain. I didn't take his insults and challenges personally, and I think that made him even angrier somehow. I had respect for him, in spite of his snarky barbs. Now, if he had treated the princess the way he treated me, I would have kicked his pompous, feathery ass, but he always behaved himself around her. I would have liked to find out what deep-seated issues he had that made him the way he was, but between his carefully constructed façade and the fact that Ganon showed up before I could break down that façade, I never got the chance to really understand what made him tick. It made me kind of sad, because I would have loved to have some friendly competition with him. It seemed to me that if anyone could get through Revali's defenses, they'd have themselves a friend for life. As it was, his gift was probably the most useful to me of all of them. I used it in so many places, and it recharged faster than all the others.
Once I had regained control of all the Divine Beasts, Zelda's voice spoke to me again, this time telling me of how the Champions' gifts could be enhanced if I returned to the Shrine of Resurrection. A whole new quest opened up for me, including some new, more powerful monsters I had to fight. It was an arduous process, but in the end my upgraded Champions' gifts were able to assist me more often, and I got a pretty cool stone motorcycle out of the deal, which ran on whatever I put into the fuel tank and was able to be conjured in places where I couldn't summon my horse with her ancient gear. I also had the good fortune of reading the journals of the other Champions, which was very enlightening, particularly in the case of Revali.
Most importantly to me, after completing the final trial and stepping back out into the sunlight on the Great Plateau, Kass provided me with a photograph of all of us Champions that finally brought it all home to me. Looking at our expressions as we were crushed in Daruk's hearty, mischievous embrace, suddenly everything came flooding back to me. I remembered our inauguration ceremony, how proud I felt, and also how scared and worried. My parents and sister had been among the spectators, and my father's approval and support had meant as much to me as the king's faith in me.
But even as the king was praising us and charging Zelda to lead us, my self-doubt still hung about my shoulders like a spectral cloak. The evil I would inevitably face was one that had never been fully vanquished by anyone. It could be temporarily deterred, but it always came back, and so did the hero and the princess, in a battle that continued throughout the ages. Even if the princess and I were able to seal Ganon away, it would once again be a temporary peace. I wished that I could do something to make it permanent, so our people would never again have to live in fear of Ganon's return.
After receiving the Champions portrait from Kass, I felt the irresistible urge to go back to Hateno Village. The memories of my life there returned easily to me. I had spent the first years of my life here, and fate had ironically decided that I should buy back my father's old house. Now it made sense that I had felt so desperate to keep the place from being demolished. My father, mother, and sister had died in the castle the day Ganon broke free. This house was all I had to remember them by, and I had never even had time to mourn them.
But I mourned now. In the privacy of my lonely house, I drank a mug of ale and had myself a little cry. I supposed I couldn't wish for them to still be with me, since even if they HAD lived, they would all have died by now, anyway. I did wish they could have lived longer, that my sister might have grown up and fallen in love as I had. But wishing didn't accomplish anything.
The thought of my family dying in the castle also brought to mind the scullery maid turned royal archer I had loved when I had thought being with Zelda was nothing but the foolish dream of a common boy. She had spent most of her time in the castle. Larissa… the light finally came on in my mind. Auburn hair, mischievous twinkle in her eyes… no wonder her name had popped into my head when I named my first horse after leaving the Great Plateau. She had been a hell of a woman – great cook, exceptional cheesemaker, talented archer, fantastic lover and teacher. Zelda quite frequently reminded me of her with her intelligence, her wit, and her independence. A part of me still felt bad that I had never been able to see Larissa again after I had informed her of my momentous assignments. I had told her that once Ganon was defeated and things returned to normal, I would return to be with her. I had written her letters and even recommended her to the Hyrulean army as an archer, as she had requested. I wished I knew what had happened to her after I became a Champion and Zelda's knight. There weren't any people left, that I knew of, who had fought in the King's army during the Calamity, who might have seen her or even known her. I hoped that she hadn't also been in the castle when hell broke loose.
Thinking about my family and Larissa while drinking had me feeling pretty morose, so I decided to have a walk around the town. There were plenty of kids playing outside on any given day; their energy and zest for life always seemed to make me feel happier. Besides, I wanted to revisit my old stomping grounds and see how much more I could remember, how much had changed, and how much had stayed the same, now that I could remember pretty much everything.
I roamed around the town proper first. The laughing children and the warmth of the sun lifted my spirits a bit so I felt invigorated enough to venture out to the crop fields. Beyond the fields, between Ginner Woods and Nirvata Lake, there was a valley, and in that valley was the village cemetery, where the other village kids and I used to dare each other to walk through. The stories we'd told each other, on top of the actual stal monsters who roamed the area at night, made the place scary to us even in broad daylight. Now, however, after all I had seen, the cemetery just seemed like what it had been intended to be all along: a peaceful resting place for the village's dear departed. I meandered slowly through, enjoying the breeze, the sun, and the sounds of birds calling, idly reading the names on the grave markers. The oldest, most worn markers were at the back of the cemetery, and the newer ones in front.
Among the older stones I recognized the name of the shop owner for whom I had once made arrows, but since I had moved away as a child more than a hundred years ago, I didn't know any of the other people buried there. I skipped up to the front of the cemetery to see if I recognized the names of any who had died recently from my conversations with the villagers. In the front rows the stones had become a bit more descriptive, bearing not just the name of the deceased but their relation to other villagers. In the first row I read "Halek, husband of Mari, father of Reede." Reede, I knew, was the current mayor. Halek must have been mayor before him, and died fairly recently. Reede had never mentioned to me that his father had died so recently, but I thought I remembered Karin talking about her grandpa Halek.
In the third row I found one that nearly made my heart stop. Suddenly the sunlight seemed too bright. The stone said, "Kerrick, husband of Larissa, father of Alinqa." Next to it was "Larissa, wife of Kerrick, mother of Alinqa." I dropped to my knees before the marker, my mind reeling. The hairs on my arms stood up, despite the warmth of the day. Could this be MY Larissa? And Alinqa… was it merely a coincidence that her name sounded like mine? If not, I felt like the worst kind of cad. Hylia, I prayed in my mind, tell me I didn't leave her alone bearing my child. Hylia didn't answer, but my skin prickled anew.
I retraced the second row, finding Jareth, husband of Alinqa, father of Halek. I had walked right past it the first time, not recognizing any of the names. Next to that was Alinqa, wife of Jareth, mother of Halek. Oh, great goddesses, I had to find Reede.
I fought to quell the knot in my belly as I approached Reede in the wheat field. I had no proof of anything; this could all be my imagination running wild. Reede would wonder what my problem was if I came asking questions about his ancestors as if my own life depended on his answers. I had to play it calm and casual. I put on the mask of impassiveness I had once used in my days as soldier and knight at the castle.
"Hey, there, Mayor Reede," I called to him with a little wave, forcing my voice to sound relaxed.
"Hello, and well met, Master Link," Reede answered, standing his hoe in the crook of his shoulder and shaking my hand in both of his with his friendly, welcoming smile. I was searching his face for any trace of a resemblance to either me or Larissa. He had green eyes, not as bright as Larissa's had been, but otherwise he looked nothing like either of us. "What brings you to my field?"
"I needed a little break from adventuring," I said. "Thought I'd come back to spend a little time in my own house and get better acquainted with my new hometown."
"I can imagine you must feel exhausted from time to time, with your responsibilities," Reede sympathized. "I'm not sure that I would be able to handle the weight of having the fate of Hyrule on my shoulders, but of course, I'm a simple farmer and twice your age. How goes the quest to free the Divine Beasts?"
"They're all freed now," I admitted, "and that's why I'm taking a little break. I may be 'the Hero,' but even I need to regroup and prepare myself mentally to face Ganon, especially after having already faced four lesser versions of him inside the Divine Beasts. It's kinda been hell. Ganon himself will be worse."
"That does sound rough," Reede said, nodding. "But you have proven yourself time and again, and we all have great faith in you. And from what I understand, you'll have the Princess to help you. You can do this."
"Thanks," I said simply, a little uncomfortable under the burden of his confidence in me – after all, I HAD DIED fighting the Calamity a century ago – but also wanting to talk about the issue that was more pressing to me at that moment.
"So, on a different note, I didn't tell you this before because I hadn't regained all of my memories until very recently, but I spent a good portion of my childhood here in Hateno."
"Really?"
"Yeah, well, it was over a hundred years ago, but yes. I was just revisiting the cemetery where my friends and I used to dare each other to walk through. I saw that your father was one of the most recent people to be laid to rest there. My condolences on his loss, my friend."
Reede smiled softly, just a trace of sadness showing in his eyes. "Thank you, Link. My father had a long and happy life. I do miss him sometimes, but he was ready to go."
"Good to know," I said. "But I had a question for you. I looked at some of the other graves, and if I'm counting back correctly, your great-grandmother was named Larissa. Is that right?"
"Yes, that's right."
"I used to know a woman named Larissa, before the Calamity, and I'm curious to know if it's the same woman. What do you remember about her?"
Reede smiled. "My great-grandmother was ninety years old when she died, and she was a feisty old lady right up to the end. She doted on me and spoiled me something awful when I was little. More so than my grandma Alinqa, and she did her share of spoiling, too. Great-grandfather Kerrick died the year before great-grandmother, and I think that is mostly what did her in. She loved him very much, and even with the rest of the family around, she was lonely without him."
"Do you know what she was like when she was young?" I pressed.
"Oh, sure. She and great-grandfather Kerrick met in the Hyrulean army. They were sharpshooters, both of them. Well, she wasn't at first, but he helped her improve her shooting. They taught Grandma Alinqa to use a bow, too. They were all really good archers, according to the village elders. They tried to teach my dad to shoot, and he did okay – he could at least hunt – but Grandpa Jareth was more of a diplomatic type and a man of the land, who preferred to negotiate with words over weapons. Truth be told, he was a little near-sighted and wasn't very good with a bow himself. My father preferred to follow in his footsteps, and he never even taught me how to use a bow."
"Did your great-grandmother have auburn hair and bright green eyes?"
"Well, not when I was a kid," Reede smiled. "I only remember her with silver hair. But someone painted a little picture of her when she was young, and we still have it. Run on up to the manor and ask Clavia to show it to you. I think she has it in our chest of family mementos."
"Thanks, Reede. I'll see you again soon."
Reede was already returning to his hoeing when I ran back to town.
At the mayor's manor, Clavia was preparing the pies for the evening meal's dessert, but she wiped the flour from her hands onto her apron and went to fetch the picture at my request. She handed it to me, and I found myself staring into a pretty good likeness of my dear friend and lover's face. A confusing mixture of emotions filled my heart, and I struggled to keep my composure in front of Clavia. I was happy and relieved that Larissa had survived, found another love, and lived a long and peaceful life. I felt guilty that I had left her to bear a child that by all rights I should have taken responsibility for, but at the same time, I knew that she had had no way to communicate with me or reply to my letters. I was grateful to Kerrick for being there for her when I could not. I felt sad that my daughter was already dead and buried and I never knew her. And I didn't really know HOW to feel about the fact that Larissa apparently never told Alinqa or anyone else that I was the father of her child, or the fact that Reede, my friend and mayor, who was twice my age, was my own great-grandson. To be blunt, this whole thing was kind of fucked. I didn't know how I would have liked things to go a hundred years ago, but I knew that being mortally wounded and being put into a hundred-year sleep was not one of my top picks. Up until now, I had still felt mostly like a teenager, but at this moment I felt every one of my one hundred and nineteen years.
"You say you knew her before your great sleep?" Clavia asked, talking over her shoulder to me as she returned to the kitchen table to roll out her pie dough.
I followed her slowly, preoccupied with looking into the feisty green eyes in the picture. The artist had captured her personality well; it was true that a picture paints a thousand words.
"Link? Are you in there?"
I blinked and shook my head a little to clear it. "Yeah," I said, trying to remember what Clavia had asked me. "Yes, I knew her. I was the one who taught her to wield a bow."
Clavia laughed. "Go figure. The older villagers used to say she was one of the best, along with her husband Kerrick. Sharpshooters, both of them. Should have known she learned from THE best."
I smiled back at her weakly. To Clavia this was a normal conversation; to me it was like talking to someone from another planet or an alternate reality. Suddenly I felt that I had had enough of this day. I took one last fond look at the picture, then set it at the other end of the table from where Clavia was working on her pie crusts. "I'm just gonna leave this here," I said. "Thank you for sharing this with me."
"Sure thing, Link," Clavia replied, oblivious to my inner torment.
Walking home, I was barely aware of the smells of the community dinner cooking in the town center. I was the furthest thing from hungry. I stopped at East Wind and bought a bottle of wine, which I uncorked and drank straight from the bottle as soon as I got home. The bottle was half empty and my mind was acceptably dulled when I stumbled to my bed. My last conscious thought before succumbing to sleep and uneasy dreams was Oh, Larissa, I'm so sorry. Forgive me.
The next day I woke up with a wretched headache. I drank an entire pitcher full of water and went in search of the nearest willow tree to cut off a switch to chew on to relieve my aching head. It was time, I thought, to get myself together and go take on Ganon, get all this nightmare behind me. There was nothing I could do to change the past, but there WAS something I could do for Larissa's and my descendants, and the rest of Hyrule. The spirits of my fellow Champions were waiting to fulfill their roles at last, and I was stalling. Once my headache had finally left me, I packed everything I thought I'd need, mounted Epona, and started out for the castle. There was one more errand I wanted to run before the big showdown.
A couple of days later, after battling a couple of Guardians to get there, I arrived back at the remains of the little cabin outside the Mabe Village ruins. I finally knew whose cabin this had been – not mine or my family's, but Larissa's. We had made love here more than once, even cooked together naked here – I smiled sadly at that memory. I had also said goodbye to her here, never to see her again. From here, I could see the big rock outcropping on top of which we had made love on my eighteenth birthday. My heart ached for what might have been, and I searched diligently through the remains of Larissa's cozy little home, looking for some little piece of her life here that was still intact. The odds were slim; it had been a century, after all. There were broken pieces of pottery and plates, a broken bedframe, the straw mattress long-since rotted away, the rusted-out cast iron cookstove I remembered Larissa cooking her stew on. The stovepipe was long gone. The root cellar was so overgrown I couldn't even open the rotted out wooden door.
I don't know why I expected to find anything. It was possible that Larissa herself had come here and searched this way after the battles were given up. She might have picked up anything whole that she had found and taken it with her to Hateno. It didn't really matter in the end; the important pieces of her – Reede and his daughter Karin – were still alive and well in Hateno Village. It still boggled my mind to think that little Karin was my great-great-granddaughter, when I was only physically old enough to MAYBE be her father.
Thinking of Karin made me think of all the other kids in Hateno, which in turn made me think of the children I had met all over Hyrule in the last months. I needed to get my act together and go deal with Ganon now, for them. With a mental goodbye and an "I still love you" to Larissa, I mounted Epona once again and continued on to the castle.