Chapter 33
"Look at all this stuff! Some of it goes back years, decades even!"
We were gathered inside the main research dome on the southern side of the facility. Here the fighting hadn't been too fierce as both sides hoped to keep the valuable data intact. Someone had managed blow a hole in the roof from which a small snow drift was gradually settling in on the far side of the room. We didn't pay it much mind, once we had what we wanted this base was going up in flames regardless.
But before that happened we had an incredible treasure trove of intel to work our way through. A history of all the projects my father had been involved with since he began his extralegal research into human improvement. In the past I had always scornfully thought of him as a rather small time financial backer of Cerberus. Certainly that was what I had been led to believe during my time there. But as I walked down the aisles, pausing every few minutes to read a datapad that had caught my attention, it became clear just how far in he had been prior to my recruitment.
"Project Jormungand
While I agree that the leaked rumors regarding these so called 'Thresher Maws' and the properties of their venom are colourful and potentially even interesting it seems to me to be too soon to pursue this avenue of research. Descriptions of the Maw's capabilities suggest that capturing one for study, let alone holding it under ideal lab conditions for any period of time is not a viable option. Our best bet in my opinion is to try and nudge the Alliance's colonization efforts towards a planet where these creatures can be found. Unfortunately I suspect it may be many years before we are able to locate a suitable planet where the Maw's presence is not already known to the galaxy at large."
"Akuze," I whispered to myself.
"Did you find something, Lawson?" Burke asked. I put down the file and continued forward to more recent projects.
"Nothing you'd like," I replied.
Obviously it was only the most recent stuff that would be of any real use to me but somehow I couldn't help but continue to examine the old files. I wouldn't exactly say that I was learning more about my father than I had known already, I'd always known what sort of man he was, but some of the gaps were being filled the first time I could see that the Illusive Man really had taken a gamble by taking me in. I can only imagine that it was their joint fascination with improving humanity at work. Illusive Man wanted to see the one project my father refused to share with him at work, the 'perfect' human.
For so many years my genetic tailoring had been a source of... not pride exactly, because I could not and would not take credit for anything given to me by my father. But I could not help but acknowledge that I was special. It was a simple fact of my biology, my genetic heritage. It made me feel important, at times even superior to my fellow human (more times than I like to admit to if I'm being honest). But thinking about the way these two men had lusted over what I represented to the species made my skin crawl.
To distract myself I picked up another datapad.
"Project Teltin
Yes I have read all the proposals put forward by the Alliance for the development and training of biotics and frankly I find them to be totally underwhelming. We've done good work in creating as many 'accidental' element zero exposures as possible to increase the number of potential candidates but all that work goes down the pan if we can't handle the next stage properly. Much as we are new to this field of research we simply cannot rely on aliens to explain it to us.
Biotics appear to be one of the most important factors in determining status within these citadel races. You only have to look at the Asari to work that one out. Which means that no member of an alien species would ever share their full understanding of the subject with us willingly, it would just mean giving up too large an advantage.
Even if we are, as Alliance miniter Thomas Greenham put it 'poking at test subjects like monkeys trying to learn anatomy' we must make an effort to develop this research on our own. To this end I propose that in addition to the Alliance's official biotic program on Gagarin Station, we create our own human only program. Due to the nature of the work it would need to be somewhere remote and remain highly secret but I believe if we are willing to put all options on the table we will achieve significant results much sooner than Gagarin."
Good god, is there any evil project that my father wasn't in some way involved in? I suppose I should have known. Teltin's experiments on children was something only he could ever have dreamed up.
As a distraction that little nugget had only left me feeling worse, so I pressed on hurriedly through the shelves. As I progressed I began to get a sense that it was leading me through the years. The entries started to become mundane as my father's work diverged away from Cerberus and into more lucrative fields. That's not to say there wasn't the odd piece of horrific data in there but mostly it was now on a topic of which I was already familiar: myself.
Detailed medical scans, codified genetic sequencing, aptitude test results and planned training regimens. I didn't expect it to really bother me. I'd known about most of it for years and lived through more than a little of it personally. But this was seeing it from the other side, a cold and clinical dissection of the data with no interest in the person that lay behind it. All the emphasis and interest were in all the wrong places. Seeing everything written down from this perspective, I felt oddly detached. Like someone had placed my life under a microscope and invited me to come and take a peek down the lense.
Up ahead I could see there was some kind of commotion going on. Several of the marines were gathered around a recording that was playing, alongside Nalar and Kallen. Curious I increased my pace, closing the distance on the group quickly but to my surprise Nalar stepped forward to block my path.
"You don't want to see this one Lawson. It's- it's about you."
"It's nothing I haven't seen before. This was my whole life once upon a time," I replied, trying to push past but he held firm, trying to hold me back.
"Let me through. Whatever it is, I want to see it right now," I demanded, suddenly certain that this was something important.
"Lawson, I think he might be right this time," Captain Burke murmured from the corner.
One glare was all it took to shut him up. Nalar was still trying to hold me back though, his grip pretty implacable. Preferring not to have to injure him to break free I looked up into his eyes, beseeching him to understand.
"I have to do this Nalar. However bad it is I'll deal with it."
He didn't reply, at least not with words. But he relaxed his restraining grip and shifted his arm up until it was behind my shoulders. Guiding me forward instead of holding me back as we approached the recording. By now it had already finished.
"Play it again from the start," I ordered. No one else seemed willing to argue so with only a slight hesitation Nalar pressed the control.
The holoimage blinked into life, depicting an image of my father alongside a balding man in a long white coat. A scientist, I naturally assumed. I think I might've seen him at our house once or twice but he was never introduced to me.
"Has the next stage been completed yet?"
"Uh, not as such sir."
"I sent you the updated instructions a week ago. What's the delay?" My father asked. He looked younger in this video, but not so much that i didn't recognize him from my memories. I would have been about nine or ten when this was recorded I reckoned.
"We wanted to confirm some of the details with you."
"You mean you're confused by my orders."
"Well yes. We all believed we understood the end goal of this work. To propagate a suitable heir for your considerable corporate empire. But these changes..."
"Are vital to securing the longevity of that dynasty."
"But sir, if we do what's you're asking of us..."
"Doctor Newman, who exactly is it that you would suggest be introduced into the genetic perfection of my line. Did you imagine that they would be able to improve upon perfection?"
"So you want to.. Continue this process? Long term I mean? I have to advise that there may be some inherent risks in -"
"I'm well aware of the limitations of current medical science doctor. Let's just say that by the time that pitfall becomes an issue I expect our advancing technology will have outpaced it."
"No..." I whispered. They were talking in circles, constantly interrupting each other but I thought I had some inkling of where this was going.
"But why order this procedure? Surely it would be better to wait and see what-"
"If you question my orders again, I'll have you replaced. Protocols are in place so that when the time is right Miranda will be made aware of these facilities in full. She will then be able to have a new clone prepared, improved by utilizing the best of modern genetic enhancement techniques, which by then will no doubt be far superior to that which I have bestowed upon her, to raise as her own child. But I cannot afford to have any kind of sentimentality polluting that outcome. Sterilize her doctor, or I will have your contract terminated before the end of the day."
I didn't notice the playback ending. I'd known, I'd known for so long now that the choices my father had made had taken that choice away from me.
But I'd never considered before that it might have been intentional.
"I guess it makes sense," I whispered, feeling all their eyes on me.
"I always knew father wanted a perfect dynasty. He-"
The tears started falling before I could stop them. In truth I didn't feel as if there was any power in me to resist them after what I'd just seen. It went beyond the nightmare revelation I had just witness. The floodgates had broken and all the pain of a stolen childhood came rushing in to fill the void. Once I'd started, I couldn't have stopped if I'd wanted to.
The soldiers turned away from me immediately to resume the search. Tears were something they understood as a private thing in their line of work. Something that happened when you were alone and still raw over the loss of a comrade. Even Kallen and Melnar looked uncomfortable, though they didn't turn away or treat it as something shameful. But it was Nalar that put his arms around me in that moment, holding me close until my eyes dried and my mind settled.
It wasn't until I had calmed down that the others approached me with their findings from the rest of the lab.
"No mention of your sister, or your father's current whereabouts," Burke reported.
"I'm sorry, Lawson."
Just as I was starting to wonder how I could cope with yet another dead end, Kallen stepped forward shaking his head and frowning.
"He's right that we haven't found any explicit directions to your father's hiding place but there's a huge amount of data here. Plenty of leads of follow up on if you know where to look. Personally I would start with these."
He held up a data pad for all of us to see.
"What's on there?" I asked, my curiosity piqued again.
"List of project names and associated budgets," Burke replied dismissively.
"It's good intel but without some indication of what the names mean or where they're located, none of it's actionable."
"Let me see," I insisted.
Sensing I wasn't willing to let it go Burke just shrugged and gestured toward the pad. There were just five names on it.
Project Goliath - 1080.2 M
Project Adjutant - 982.5 M
Project Eternal - 615M
Project Sentinel - 121M
Project Sanctuary - 978M
"Five random words and some pricing in the millions of credits, we need more info from Alliance intelligence to make any sense of it."
"Not necessarily," I replied.
"I saw Goliath for myself and Admiral Anderson included details of Project Adjutant when he sent me some Cerberus data from Dr Serov's base on Earth."
"Who's Dr Serov?" Nalar muttered confused.
"Don't ask."
"That's great but that still leaves us with three options, none of which we know anything about."
"Project Sanctuary is the next highest value operation on the list. It could be our best bet."
"That still leaves with the obvious gaping question. What the hell is Project Sanctuary and where do we find it?"
"I remember Justaro mentioned something like that. Just as he confessed to betraying me. He said that Cerberus offered him 'santuary' for his son. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but..."
"That's not the only place we've seen that word used Lawson," Kallen pointed out gently.
"It was all over those posters on the Citadel."
"So... Wait, Sanctuary? You're not thinking about that refugee camp on Horizon, are you? What possible interest could Cerberus have with that place?" Burke asked in confusion.
"If my father is involved, anything's possible."
"Oh come on. Sanctuary's a pipe dream, it always was. It's no safer than anywhere else in the galaxy. Hell it's a miracle the Reapers haven't rolled in and burned the place to the ground by now. It's what I would've done in their place the second I learned of its existence. Demoralize the enemy."
"You're right. It makes sense for the Reapers to attack Sanctuary but they've held back all this time. And we know they usually avoid attacking Cerberus bases as well, at least until they run out of other targets."
There was a brief pause as everyone absorbed the implications.
"We're going, aren't we?" Captain Burke asked wearily.
"We're going," I confirmed.