The mother lays scorned in the bed of her own making. The father lays down stairs on the couch, frustrated and confused. He dares not tempt her. For one, he is tired, two, he is old, and three, he knows not what truly bothered her nor had he ever experienced such a reaction from the wife he thought he'd knew all too well. Rain beats at the windows hard, but it is not what bothers her. Lady Avarius lays there, folding the sides of the pillow and pressing them hard against her head.
COWARD!
It will not stop. The word echoes through her ears, bouncing and reverberating off her mind like a rubber ball.
COWARD!
The sound of her son's voice, it just won't stop. It beats and beats and beats at her psyche. The truth will set you free you know.
COWARD!
Lady Avarius: Shut up! I am not! Just shut up!
COWARD! You are a COWARD!
Lady Avarius: I am not!
YES YOU ARRRREEEE! COWARD!
Lady Avarius: Stop!
COWARD! COWARD! COWARD!
She holds the pillow so close to her head but the voice just gets louder and louder.
COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD!
She opens her eyes, both of them, the regular... and the other one. Silence. Downstairs, he snores, louder than ever. A shadow slides over him in utter silence. Lord Brudo feels a cold wind brush over him like the cloak of death. He wakes from his slumber, creaking and cracking as he stands up. Arthritis takes a toll on his back as he shuffles into the bathroom, scratching his butt crack.
As Lord Brudo turns on the light bulb with a string, a roach scatters across the mirror. Brudo snatches it, tossing it into his beak. A loud crunch can be heard as he breaks ino the chitin chewing on the poor critter. He looks at his teeth, filled with cavities in the ones he does have, and yellowed. His breath stinks and his five o clock shadow leaves his face like a cactus. He makes faces at himself. Sticking out his tongue at and chuckling at the mirror. This will be the highlight of his day.
Lady Avarius: Breakfast time!
Lady Avarius' yelling summons all the kids downstairs. They stampede into the kitchen like wild elephants. Lord Brudo was a gasp in the excitement.
Lord Brudo: What is the meaning of this? Get out of the way! Move! What the_?
The dining table, which had usually had very little besides scraps, has a full breakfast laid out: toast, jam, bacon, oddly enough, eggs, sausage, pancakes, the works, and it all looked delicious. The kids dive into it like wild animals.
Lady Avarius: Well honey, aren't you gonna sit and eat? I made yours special. I wanted it to show just how much I love you.
Lord Brudo sits down in front of his plate. His food looks like everyone elses', but to him, it looked different. He is hesitant, paranoid. Staring across the table at him is his wife. She's nearly 15 feet across the table but he can feel her yellow orbs burning into him. Her one eye, the other eye, really catches his attention. She is different, real different. Is this even the woman he married? One would think that the woman before him was a doppelganger, a shadow that had killed his real wife and cast her into a shadow. And well, that's only partially true.
This Lady is more open, more free, the woman she'd always wanted to be, but the shackles had held her down. But not anymore. She bit through them like steel bars, breaking her teeth but ultimately, she would free herself, even at the cost of her own sanity. Lord Brudo lifts up his fork. He slowly stabs into a sausage link, gravy bleeds out it as he lifts it up, he sticks the fork between his fanged teeth, closes his maw and slides the silver out against his teeth, making a light *shing sound. He chews it very slowly, savoring the flavor. He doesn't know what Lady Avarius is up to, but she is being very peculiar, and after the surprise whack across the face with the pillow, which he still feels, he isn't taking any chances with her. He swallows the sausage.
Lady Avarius: Well? What do you think?
Lord Brudo: Honestly? It's ok. Could use some salt.
She stares at him through her bangs.
Lady Avarius: Kids, pass your father the salt.
The salt slowly gets carried over by a wave of small to medium sized wings, reaching Brudo. He eats about half the meal, putting increments of salt on the food until it became almost disgusting to eat. His paranoia is starting to get to him.
Lord Brudo: You know what? I'm full. I don't want anymore.
This is the first time the man ever doesn't finish a meal, let alone not ask for seconds or thirds. His shallow appetite shocks his kids.
Older Avarius kid: Alright! I call dibs on dad's food.
The jock-ish boy swipes the bowl from in front of his father and starts eating like a glutton.
Lady Avarius: Now kids, what do you say to your father for providing us with this lovely meal?
All: Thanks dad!
All the kids have food in their beaks, several of them projecting it out as the sentence leaves their mouths in droll unison.
Lord Brudo is very confused. What did she mean that "he provided"?
Lady Avarius: Brudo you barely touched the food I made. What? Do you think I'd poison you or something? What would ever give you such a silly idea?
Lady Avarius stretched a pointy grin across her face like a great white shark. Lord Brudo looks at her with great concern. He didn't do anything wrong, but then, neither did she, not since last night. He is starting to feel frustrated and conflicted with himself and wants to escape the awkward tension.
Lady Avarius: Where are you going dear?
Lord Brudo: I'm heading out. I need some fresh air.
He says the sentence with such a contemptuous tone it seems almost like he needs to get away from his wife. He grabs a brown sports coat and since he can't find his crown, he settles for his favorite beat up old flat cap. He doesn't want to attract anyone to his heritage anyway. He wants to be alone out in the chilly fall Mewnan air. He decides to go to his local pub.
Several familiar monsters hung there. His one buddy, good ol' Flat Face he called him, welcomes Brudo over. They have Mewnan ale and Brudo talks about his old ball and chain with the guys as he finds himself becoming drunk. He ordinarily didn't get wasted this early but he just isn't in the mood for Lady Avarius' new brand of weirdness today. Lord Brudo blacks out, and is awakened by the bartender.
Bartender: Alright your highness, time to close up, now get your butt back home to that "fish you shoulda threw back into the sea". Come on, upsy daisy! Man you weigh a ton, your majesty!
Lord Brudo: Myehh get offa me you idiot! I can get myself back home!
Lord Brudo stumbles drunkenly back to his house, miraculously finding his way back in the darkened night. He shuffles through his pockets for his key, taking it out and scraping the keyhole several times, cursing under his breath before getting it into the hole. This is an all too familiar situation with this man. Upon opening the door, Lord Brudo is met with utter shock. The house had been cleaned, spotless. Not a hair is out of place. All the mirrors are clean, no roaches. All the carpets had been beaten and are dust free, and in general, all filth is gone. It is spotless, something he's never seen.
Lady Avarius is surrounded by (nearly) all her children. She is reading them a story called The Lost Sheep, about a sheep that had wondered away from the family, lost its way, and about the mother sheep that was worried sick about the lamb, and by the time she found the lamb, it was a ram. Although it had changed and wondered why the mother took so long to find it, the lamb loved her unconditionally and was happy forever after. The kids love the story, especially the youngest little girl who is now 3 and had just learned to talk.
Lord Brudo: What now? Reading the children silly fables? What are you trying to do to them, milady? Turn them into weak little sissies? All of you, get upstairs and get ready for bed! I will have no more of this nonsense! And you, we need to talk!
Lady Avarius: Now Fludo, what do you say to mommy after she reads you a story?
Fludo: Thank you mommy! I love you!
Fludo speaks in a small, squeaky child's voice, smiling innocently and twisting bashfully with a big smile on her face.
She turns around.
Fludo: I love you too, daddy!
Lord Brudo: Yeah, uh huh.
Lady Avarius: I love you too, baby. Good night.
She kisses the small child and she skips upstairs. She waves back to them and Lady Avarius happily exchanges a tiny wave of her own. All the children have since dispersed. Her face turns to Brudo and all joy leaves the room. They're alone now, the mouse in the lion's den. Her smile dissipates as she sinks into the chair in the corner of the room, her weird eye still open, both of them fixated on Brudo.
Lord Brudo: You don't think I haven't noticed do you, do you, how weird you're acting, completely unlike yourself? Maybe I should remind you who you really are.
Lady Avarius: Oh really, Brudo. Who am I? I don't think either of us know anymore.
Lord Brudo: You're my wife. My small, sad little wife, the wife I chose to bare my children and to rule my kingdom, who is to be quiet, and obedient, and to carry out my every command to a T. You're certainly no leader, no mother, not even a "mommy" as Fludo just called you. These children are to be my future soldiers, don't you understand? One day they will march all the way through Mewni and take what is rightfully ours from that old fool and that white-maned wife of his! I will not let you make my soldiers into sissies! You already damaged Ludo beyond repair!
He strikes a real nerve with this one. Lady Avarius wants nothing more than to serrate his fat neck and watch him bleed to death on the floor, but with the tactfulness and grace of a lady, she remains composed, and while the words hurt like daggers, she is ready to dig her claws into Brudo where it hurts the most. She smiles, smugly.
Lady Avarius: The cowardly woman you married is dead. I shed her and threw her to the ground. Good riddance. She was a fool. She married you after all. And I didn't corrupt my son, you did. You pushed, and pushed, and pushed, without ever stopping to think that he would push back, and he did. Ludo is a real hero. He made me realize what a pitiful woman I truly was. So I reinvented myself. This is the new me. Don't like it? Well that's just too bad, because I'm not your fool anymore. I won't stand by and let you bully any of my babies ever again. And if you so much as lay a hand on me, or any of them, I will gut you like a fish you fat old sack of garbage!
With that, he lunges at her. Throwing her to the ground, beginning to strangle her. She grabs a lamp and smashes him in the head tossing him to the ground. They throw jabs at each other. Each hit lands on the other causing them to become weaker. Brudo has more brute strength, but what he has in that, he lacks in speed. Lady Avarius on the other hand is far more agile and keen in senses than Brudo. He has to take advantage of her blind side. He picks up the chair she used to feed the young one and tosses it at her, smashing it to pieces. She soars towards him, cutting his face with her beak.
The house is now a wreck. The kids are terrified. Dennis and another try to grab Lord Brudo and Lady Avarius and hold them back, but they are both set on kill. Only one of them is leaving alive. Dennis tries to reason with them but all they want to do is kill each other. Dennis has only one idea. He opens up a portal with his scissors and take all 50 kids with him, leaving only Lady Avarius and Lord Brudo in the house to finish each other off.
Ludo is watering his lawn when all of a sudden 50 birds come hurtling through a portal in front of him. Startled, he jumps.
Ludo: OMIGOSH what are you all doing here? Dennis, do you have any idea how to keep a secret?
Dennis: Ludo, mom and dad are trying to kill each other we can't stop them I don't know what to do!
Dennis is panicking and tears are filling his eyes as he's never been so scared and confused in his whole life. Ludo doesn't kick them out as he is taken completely aback by the news of their parents fighting.
Ludo: It's okay. Its okay. You all can stay here for now. I mean, I never have this much company. We'll just wait it out Dennis. They're old people. They can't kill each other. They'll just get tired and call it even.
Ludo's vain attempt at humor doesn't release any tension or stress from the situation, as all it does is exacerbate Dennis' desire to go back and find out what's happening. Upon Ludo's request, he hands over the scissors and Ludo hides them to make sure he doesn't make the mistake of going back.