Bella
It's an ordinary Saturday afternoon in the Cullen household as Edward and I walk through the front door.
"I'll grab some stuff and we can head off," he tells me.
I turn to him with a questioning face. "No, you can head off. I'm staying here with Alice. Jasper is taking you hunting, even if he has to drag you."
I'm glad that he's finally going. Since returning from Italy, he hadn't gone and, despite his insistence of being fine, I can see the dark circles and black eyes. The last thing we need is for him to change the carefully constructed plan.
Taking his hand, I gently pull him into the living room where I know the others are waiting. "Hey Alice." I flop down next to her. "See you later Jasper. Please remove Edward before he thinks up any more excuses to stay."
"I don't think that's such a good idea, Bella," Edward says. I noticed that he looks incredibly uncomfortable. Glancing around the room, I also see that the two other Cullen's in the room have smirks on their faces.
"You're going hunting, stop complaining."
Reaching over, I grab the remote and settle to watch whatever trash is on TV. Some entertainment is better than none while experiencing the torture also known as Bella Barbie.
No one moves.
"Will someone please explain what is going on?" I beg, fed up with their strange behaviour.
"Well you see, the thing is…" Edward rambled. This is possibly the first time I have ever seen him lost for words.
"Well," I persist.
"Yes, go on Edward," Jasper chips in struggling to contain his laughter, Alice had stopped trying, "Explain it to her."
He just stands there gaping like a fish.
I stand up and walk back towards him, hoping it will give him reassurance or whatever it is that's causing him problems. "I'm waiting…"
"Oh Edward, I really hope Emmett is listening. This is some serious evidence for his claim that you are a prude," Alice says, gasping for unneeded breaths.
"Of course he isn't listening in," Edward snaps at her causing Jasper to scowl at him, "he's rather preoccupied at the moment."
It clicks I understand fully what he is trying to avoid saying. Now that I'm in the loop, I agree, this is rather funny.
"Preoccupied with what, Edward?" I say trying my best to sound confused.
"Activities which should be performed privately where no one can hear. Much less picture so vividly in their minds."
I burst out laughing. He does not appreciate that.
At his look of disgust, I laugh harder, doubling over and crashing backwards into the couch.
When I start gasping for breath, he rushes over terrified.
"I'll get you out of here. I'm sure you don't want to be in a house while such foul activities are taking place." Though I'm sure he had intended for his words to bring me reassurance, they just make me laugh harder.
"Oh Edward," I breathe, "I can't hear them. You go hunting and you'll be free from the foul activities also," I imitate his voice. "I'll be fine."
"This is so highly inappropriate. You can't seriously be considering staying."
"I'm so sorry, Bella," Alice pipes up. "I knew he was bad, but not this bad. I've briefly seen flashes of you two in bed, though I can't say which millennia it was in. You may have to wait a few thousand years."
I make an exasperated noise and bury my head in my hands.
"Now you've embarrassed her," Edward snaps at Alice. "Maybe Bella doesn't wish to be quite so… creative with her love making."
"Stop talking!" I yell. "I do not need to know any details and Alice didn't embarrass me. I realised she was probably right. Now go hunting before I get fed up of your old-fashioned sparkly butt and ask Jasper to rip your dick off for me to use as an emergency dildo."
He stares at me. Apparently he hadn't considered that, when high on adrenaline, I am capable of being a teenager.
As we stare, both of us refusing to break, there is a very loud screech from upstairs.
"Shit," Jasper mutters moving faster than I can process to stand in front of the door.
Inside the doorframe stands a furious, and exceptionally naked, Rosalie. My face burns as I avert my gaze.
"This is your fault," she says stalking towards Edward. "You – you…"
"I hardly see how this is my fault, I believe it was Emmett who performed the act." He said deadly serious while trying to avoid looking towards her.
"Not your fault? Not your fault?! This is entirely your fault you jerk." Her shrill voice rings through my ears.
I desperately want to know what is going on, but equally don't want to risk the wrath of Rosalie Hale.
"Maybe superglue would work?" Edward says desperately. "Either way, this has nothing to do with me. Bella and I were just leaving."
"No you weren't. We heard the entire conversation. You are in deep shit. Wait here." She storms back upstairs. "Emmett McCarty Cullen. HOW DARE YOU!"
"We really should go now Bella," Edward whispers, rushing over to me.
"No, you are hunting. Go." You might be safer from Rosalie there, I mentally add. "Goodbye."
"Bye Bella," Jasper says as he grabs Edward and wrestles him out the door.
When he's finally gone, I creep over to Alice. Hoping that Rosalie is too distracted berating Emmett (rather loudly as the case may be) I ask what happened.
"It seems Emmett may have been distracted laughing at Edward's attitude and pulled on Rosalie's hair a little too hard, and, well, vampire's hair doesn't grow back." Alice seems to be struggling to decide if this situation is beyond redeemable or the funniest thing she's seen in years.
"So, Rosalie is… bald?" I'm confused, sure that when she came downstairs she had a head of hair.
"Oh, I'm sure it was only a few strands, but well, this is Rosalie…"
I nod, understanding what she's trying to say. "What is she doing to Emmett?" I ask, curious about the loud bangs.
"I don't even want to know! I'm just glad I'm not on the receiving end. I know we were going to relax here, but how about we go out for a bit?" she suggests, growing increasingly uncomfortable at the words being shouted so loud even I can hear it.
"Sounds great!" We both hurry out, hoping there is at least some of Emmett and Edward left when we get back. "Remind me never to get on her bad side."
Thank you for reading! I'm doing my best to get back into the swing of writing, this was a short play around to try and get some creative juices flowing. Update on my bio regarding my longer stories.
Reviews will help me keep writing!