The morning of Pansy's departure was bright and sunny. They'd been having somewhat of a heatwave over the past week, so much so that spending any amount of time outdoors was likely to turn you lobster red. She'd spent most of the week indoors where there were cooling charms, or wearing a wide brimmed hat and fanning herself with her hand. Even the usual Garden Party in the Malfoy's greenhouse earlier in the week had to be relocated inside the house, despite all the cooling charms.
"Do you think it will rain soon?" She asked, as she and Gilli finished off the last of her packing - some socks that she'd missed.
"Not for another few days, Gilli be thinking." The House-Elf replied, as they matched the last of the socks and bundled each pair into neat balls. Gilli shooed them into her trunk with a sweep of the wrist. "Does Pansy be having everything?"
Pansy stood from where she'd be crouched over her open trunk and crossed the room to pick up a roll of parchment on her bed. "Day clothes, night clothes, winter accessories, hair ribbons, underwear…" She rattled off, scanning down her packing list.
The school had sent through their own supplies list yesterday alongside her Acceptance letter, although most of it had already been purchased months ago. Her Hogwarts supplies were already neatly packed into the top layer of her new black trunk, and she was just double checking her own personal list.
"Oh – my ball." She said, lunging for it under her pillow. Her hands closed around it's familiar squishiness and she dropped it next to her box of hair ribbons in the trunk. That was the essentials sorted. "What's the time again, Gilli? " She asked, for what must have been the eighth time since she woke up.
"Almost ten o' clock, Pansy." Gilli replied dutifully - as they had done the other seven times before.
"Thanks!"
Her drawers were mostly empty now, leaving behind only dresses too extravagant or too summer-y for spending the coming Autumn and Winter at Hogwarts. She'd left most of the shoes too, packing only a pair of winter boots, neat leather brogues and a pair of slippers.
There was a charm or enchantment of some sort on her new trunk, that meant she could flick a little dial on the exterior and open a second space within it. But it still meant the interior of her trunk was only double the size it appeared, and not everything was going to fit.
She was leaving behind her old slightly faded blue teething ring and a few of the different treasures Gilli had given her over the years (a collection of interesting leaves and a wind chime made from bottle caps).
She was taking Gilli 's most recent Yule Gift with her, a green-blue river stone – not much bigger than the top of her thumb – that she had threaded through a silver chain and kept fastened around her neck.
"Do you think I should find Mother and Father before I leave?" Pansy asked.
Since the Yule Ball, Mother had been very busy filling up Pansy's schedule. Her lessons had mostly been shelved in favour of more frequent social events. She never did figure out what made Mother send her away from that conversation with Lord Yaxley, but she did recognise it probably had less to do with her own behaviour and more to do with Mother's.
The day after the Ball, Pansy had dutifully recounted the night's socialising – including the bit about Heir Bulstrode and Millicent. Mother's nose had wrinkled at the sound of the other girl's name but had been appeased by the fact that she made it obvious the siblings were close. The woman made quick work of it, making Pansy craft a letter to Millicent inviting her for tea at their home. There didn't seem to be a woman in the children's lives and it was her brother, Heir Magnus, that dropped Millicent off. This was, of course, what Mother was banking on.
It wasn't that she didn't want to invite Millicent ("-urgh, call me Millie. Please."), it was the fact that both of them, and her brother too, were likely aware of what Mother was thinking. Regardless, Millie was good company. She had whip-smart comebacks and acerbic humour, and more often than not had Pansy laughing out of shock. Compared to Daphne, where both of them danced around their mothers' feud and had to be careful not to give the women too much ammunition, being around someone that spoke their mind freely like that was refreshing.
The months before Hogwarts seemed filled with parties, much to Mother's delight. There were Afternoon teas at the Greengrass estate, lunches at the Zabinis, brunches at the MacMillans. Lady Malfoy still held her regular garden parties, but these were with much larger groups. Ernie McMillan, Morag MacDougal, Blaise and the Patil twins joined them frequently, swelling the numbers to ten children and double the number of sniping.
Draco and Ernie had somewhat of a rivalry going, that was much less friendly than what she and Daphne had. There had been a comment about Hufflepuffs – and anyone that knew Ernie, knew he was especially proud of the MacMillan's claim of descending from the line of the Hogwarts house's Founder - and then something about a side branch of the Malfoys in France, and that was that. Oh, it never came to blows, not with their mothers watching, but Draco's sneer was just a little sharper afterwards and Ernie went after him constantly like a dog with a bone.
While she saw almost too much of Mother on a daily basis, Father had once again disappeared from her life. He seemed to take his breakfast early and his supper late, judging by what Gilli said, spending the majority of his life at work. And when he was home, he was in the Study with the door closed.
"Ah, not Father." She said, as she trailed behind Gilli, who was doing a marvelous job of floating her trunk down the stairs. "He must have left already."
"Master be leaving at half-seven this morning."
"I thought so."
Mother had warned her she wasn't going to be chaperoned to the station. Since she was old enough to have a wand, the woman had said without a glance, Pansy was old enough to do it alone. Gilli had offered to go with her, but the last thing she wanted was for the little Elf to land themselves into trouble.
" Gilli be making it lighter for carrying," They were saying, rapidly, depositing her trunk in front of the fireplace "There be snacks in your satchel, some brownies for the train, and sandwiches at the bottom." They teetered forwards and backwards on their heels, "Don't be eating too many sweeties at Hoggie-Warts! Gilli be hearing that those elves be filling things with so much sugar, and too much salt! Don't be forgetting to brush your teeths!"
Gilli's hands were truly in motion now, gesturing so wildly, they nearly smacked themselves in the face. She snatched their hands in hers before it could happen, stopping Gilli 's lecture about hair braiding mid-stride.
" Gilli -" She said kindly, as their eyes grew suspiciously wet. "Thanks for everything." Not just the sandwiches, not just the snacks, not just the tips on braiding hair. Pansy was taller than Gilli now, though she couldn't remember when that had happened. She had to lean down slightly to catch them in a hug.
Their body was smaller than she remembered, but Gilli had the tightest grip and gave the best hugs.
"I'll come back for Yule." She said, forcing the corners of her lips into a grin. "And I'll tell you everything I've been up to."
Gilli nodded, forehead thumping against her chest, right below the stone they had given her several months ago.
"Gilli be making sure to look after Pansy's room." They sniffed.
"I know." She released them, stepping back to grab her trunk. It really was lighter than she expected, like she was carrying an empty cardboard box instead of the weight of two completely filled trunk spaces. Gilli really had done a great job.
"Goodbye, Gilli – I'll see you at Yuletide!" Pansy gave their hand a quick squeeze, and then spun on her heel quickly, ignoring the slight blurriness to her vision. She threw the green powder into the flickering flames, the roar sounding strangely loud.
"Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters!"
And left her friend behind.
–
The first thing she saw as she emerged from the Floo, was in fact not the train, but the steam. It billowed thickly, high up in the air, until it disappeared somewhere near the high ceilings of the station. There was a dark smudge amongst the smog for a moment, and then it lifted and a shape emerged. The train was a bright, jolly red; like rubies or fresh tomatoes in summer, carriages stretching further than she could see.
The Hogwarts' Express.
Trains were undoubtedly a Muggle invention, but there was something remarkably… magical about it.
There were already people on the platform when she arrived. Families milled around the train in little clusters, some in bigger groups as they met friends and other families they knew, and some in little satellite groups. There were those that were obviously wizardfolk, dressed in long robes and wearing pointed hats, but mostly, the platform could have passed for normal on the Muggle side of the station.
If one ignored the conversations happening.
"- I'll never get over the way we've got to walk through a wall to get here - "
"- Mum, can't I get my own Owl this year?"
"- Oh - crap - we had transfiguration homework? McGonagall's gonna -"
A lady somewhere out of sight yelled for a hurtling child to slow down. Further down the Platform, a man was struggling with his trolley, the wheel looked like it was stuck in a dip in the floor, his face getting steadily redder and redder.
There was a sudden weight on her foot.
A bug-eyed toad blinked at her from its comfortable perch on her leather shoes. Pansy blinked back at it, resisting the urge to kick it away with a shriek. Yeah, there was absolutely no way this chaos would not look weird to the non-Magical folks of Britain.
The toad gave an innocent croak, it's belly protruding outwards.
She took a quick glance around, wondering if perhaps, at any second, she'd see the vulture hat of Lady Augusta Longbottom nearby and shy Neville Longbottom too. But maybe it wasn't his because they were nowhere to be seen. The people around didn't seem to notice her predicament - which was at once, good because she was being held hostage by a toad, and bad, because she was being held hostage by a toad.
Luckily, she couldn't see the shiny blondes of the Malfoys, or worse the Greengrasses anywhere close by - so no one was around to see this.
"You better not be as slimy as you look." She told it, reluctantly using both hands to cup around it's middle. It was surprisingly dry, warts and all.
"Please, don't tell me that's your familiar." Someone said at her side.
She glanced over and then looked back at the amphibian, who blinked with a sticky sound.
"It's not." Pansy said. "Millie, please don't tell me your brother is around."
"Okay - I won't."
She sighed, and looked away from the creature. This better not be Trevor, the infamous toad of Neville Longbottom. "Do either of you have anything I can put it in?"
Both Millie and Magnus looked down at themselves and their trunks. Not a coincidentally useful cage or box or glass bowl in sight.
"Nope." The other girl said cheerfully.
"I could grab my hat from my trunk." Magnus offered with a grin.
Pansy debated for a moment the merits of accepting the offer and sacrificing the Heir of House Bulstrode's hat to the toad. "No - it's fine." Better not. It croaked in her hands in agreement, belly vibrating as it's legs paddled in the air. She shuddered.
So gross.
"Let's just get on the train." She decided, "I have a sandwich tin in my satchel it can sit in until we figure out who it belongs to."
"Who would get a toad?" Millie snorted. Magnus gave his sister a sharp look at the unladylike behaviour that Pansy pretended not to see.
The Bulstrode siblings helped her carry her trunk onto the train, Magnus leaving shortly after to go and find his own friends. Milli helped her tip out her sandwiches into the bag Gilli had filled with brownies, snagging one of the chocolatey-squares as a 'reward' she claimed, as Pansy released the toad into the rectangular tin.
"It's not going to be a comfortable ride." She said, conversationally to it, as she settled the lid loosely over the top, leaving some airflow.
Millie snorted again from her seat on the opposite side of the window.
A loud, piercing whistle made them both jump and then they were pulling away from the Platform, in a cacophony of shrieking metal, piercing whistles and the accelerating beat of a steam engine. Suddenly, the world outside plunged abruptly black.
"Ooh - a tunnel!" Millie peered out into the darkness, only succeeding in getting fingerprints on the glass and an eyeful of her own reflection. Pansy lifted the lid of the sandwich tin, and a pair of black eyes blinked back at her through the gap. She closed it again quickly.
"Do you think we should search the train for the owner?" She asked, wondering if it would be fine to just let it roam free in the corridors between compartments after all. Surely, it would be able to find it's owner on its own.
"I'm not going anywhere until the Honeydukes cart comes around." Millie's arms crossed. "Magnus said they do the best pumpkin pasties, and I've been craving Cauldron Cakes all week."
"Do you think we need to feed it?" Pansy asked. They both turned to look down at the silent box in her lap thoughtfully.
"Nah -" The other girl said after a moment, "It's probably been fed already."
Daphne found them after about half an hour or so, fuming for a solid five minutes about being left alone with the boys, and then abandoned being annoyed with Pansy abruptly in favour of launching a tirade about Draco always dragging Vince and Greg off to do his bidding.
"He's so bossy!" She scowled, helping herself to Pansy's precious brownies. "He was all, 'Well if you're going to be such a bore, I'll find Harry Potter myself!' as if the Boy-Who-Lived is going to be impressed by Draco talking his ear off about Puddlemere United." She ranted.
Pansy nodded along, familiar by now with both Draco's obsession with Puddlemere and Daphne's abhorrence for anything Quidditch. Across the compartment, Millie opened her mouth, probably to say something about her own support of the Tutshill Tornados, but seemed to think better of it.
The two girls didn't really seem to know what to think of each other. Millie got along better with Vince and Greg, surprisingly, than Daphne and showed little interest in dancing or sewing or singing. The half-blood had won Draco over with a single Quidditch debate, with the blond conceding that she 'wasn't bad' after the girl had left. Daphne thought Millie was uncouth, and not lady-like enough. Millie thought Daphne was stuck-up and a bit too much of a princess.
It wasn't strong enough to call dislike, but they definitely didn't gel. Something they were only too happy to comment on to Pansy separately.
Before her lookalike could jump into another Quidditch rant - and Millie could wind herself up to defend her favourite sport - Pansy interjected, eager to change the subject. "So - I got my wand yesterday."
Millie perked up. "From Ollivanders?"
Pansy nodded, and pulled the slim piece of wood from where she had tucked it beneath her cardigan sleeve. "Ta-da." She said with a flourish. Her wand had come about after quite a few trials and errors at the wandshop yesterday, with Mother watching over everything impatiently. She'd left a scorch mark on Mr Ollivander's counter and a dent in one of the shelves.
The girls oohed appropriately around her. Pansy's wand was made of light, slightly yellow-toned wood, thinner on one end and thicker at the base. It did not have the very extra spiny protrusions her mother had, and it was, by all regards, rather plain looking and unremarkable.
Hazel and Phoenix Feather, nine-and-a-half inches, nice and flexible.
A rather odd combination - adaptable, but sensitive and rather particular, the old wandmaker had exclaimed yesterday as it shot yellow sparks from its tip.
"I think he called me picky, and strange." Pansy wrinkled her nose, wondering if she should have been insulted.
Millie laughed outright. "You are rather odd."
"What do you mean?"
Even Daphne rolled her eyes. "I mean you were practically raised a recluse, the rest of us have been around each other since we were three."
"And you're so nice to Gilli, it makes me feel weird." Millie added. "You even say please and thank you –"
"Bulstrode, Pansy was probably born weirdly polite and well-mannered." Daphne rolled her eyes, "Mother never stops harping on about it."
"Alright, alright," Pansy sniffed, feigning annoyance. This lot were rude for a bunch of so-called nobles. "I get it, I'm weird."
"Very." The two chorused in unison, and Pansy was decidedly perturbed that this was the instance they'd finally chosen to agree on.
A tentative knock had them all quieting, and turning to face the compartment door.
"Ooh - the trolley!" Millie gasped, delighted, reaching for her satchel next to her.
Daphne rolled her eyes and got up to open it. "Yes?"
A slightly stout looking boy looked back at them with wide eyes, wringing his fingers worriedly in front of him. He had sandy blonde hair and freckles and gulped audibly.
Millie slumped in disappointment.
"Oh - Longbottom." Daphne said
"Uh - uhm - S-sorry - I was wondering if p-perhaps you've seen a t-t-toad?" He flushed.
Why was this her life?
Across the way from her, Millie gaped and pointed accusingly right at her, selling her out so fast she should have given herself whiplash.
Daphne looked bewildered by the both of them. "Wha -"
Croak.
Pansy closed her eyes for a moment, sighing inwardly.
"THERE'S BEEN A TOAD WITH US THIS WHOLE TIME?!" Daphne was shrieking.
Pansy stood primly, ignoring Millie's cackle of laughter and Daphne's flubbering. She crossed the compartment quickly and thrust the box out towards Neville Longbottom with one hand.
"A toad landed on my shoe on the Platform," She told him as he took her sandwich tin from her. "I don't know if it's yours but I was planning on telling a teacher when we got to the school."
Neville lifted the lid.
The warty amphibian blinked slowly, one eyelid after the other, and somehow seemed to be looking at them both.
Behind them, Daphne made a weak sound of disgust.
"Trevor!" Neville exclaimed happily and the toad jumped from the box into his hand. Pansy valiantly resisted the urge to squeak in surprise. In the compartment, Millie and Daphne did not. "You're okay!"
Alright, he was a sweet boy. Perfectly harmless.
Trevor gave another croak in reply.
"Uhm - t-thank you!" Neville smiled a bit sheepishly. "He likes to escape sometimes, I'm always losing him." That did not sound promising. "Uhm - I'm Neville Longbottom."
Pansy smiled back at him, "Pansy Parkinson, of House Parkinson; I don't think we've actually met before."
"O-oh." He said, looking slightly shocked. "Er -"
She wondered what the reputation of House Parkinson was to earn such a look. "You can hold on to the tin for now," Pansy offered, "If you need something for it to sit in."
They both looked down at the tin where neat little froggy prints were stamped onto its shiny interior.
"Uhm - I'll wash it and give it back t-to you at s-school?"
Pansy nodded easily, though she wasn't sure she'd ever pack sandwiches in it again. Neville stuttered his goodbyes, citing a need to find Hermione to tell her he'd found Trevor, and suddenly she was hopelessly grateful that it had been unassuming Neville that had knocked on their compartment door and not Hermione Granger.
There were already enough strong personalities in this compartment, and she wasn't sure how she'd navigate a third.
"You could have told me it was in there," Daphne pouted, slowly winding down from her shock and slightly embarrassed at her reaction.
"That was hilarious!" Millie disagreed, "You screamed!"
"THERE WAS A TOAD IN PANSY'S LUNCH!"
Pansy laughed, feeling a little bad for leaving the other girl out. "Alright, I'm sorry - I didn't want you to freak out," She ignored Millie's snort and patted Daphne's hand in apology. "Sorry - I'll buy you some Butterscotch Butterflies to make up for it?"
"At least two packs." Daphne demanded.
"Fine, two packs."
The trolley came by about an hour later, just in time, as Pansy's stash of brownies were all gone. She ended up paying for two packs of Butterscotch Butterflies for Daphne, another pack each for Millie and herself and a large bag of assorted sours that she was planning to save to treat herself throughout the term. She spent about five sickles all together and tucked her wallet back into her satchel.
Millie and Daphne both seemed to have the same idea about keeping a supply throughout the term. Millie quickly rattled off an order of a pumpkin pasty, a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, and a bag of jelly slugs. Daphne simply paid for a heap of Butterscotch Butterflies, and Pansy would bet her left foot the girl had no intentions of sharing.
"You have an addiction." She said as they watched Daphne pluck a sugary butterfly out of the air.
"They are delicious."
Millie stared, obviously having never been subjected to Daphne's butterscotch obsession before. "You bought out every single packet left."
"Delicious." The girl hummed around a butterscotch wing.
Pansy bit into the corner of her sandwich, humming at the taste. Ham, cheese, and a little mustard. Gilli was the best!
They all ended up napping a little after eating, full from sugar and lunch. By the time she awoke next, the train was rumbling across a bridge, a wide river of dark water glittering below. Careful not to wake the other dozing girls, Pansy picked her way across the compartment and slipped into the corridor, letting the door shut behind her quietly.
She followed a sign a little ways down for the loo, feeling the slightly unpleasant fullness to her bladder. Some of the compartment doors were wide open, noise spilling out into the corridor. Pansy ducked quickly past a snogging couple and breathed a sigh of relief when she finally spotted the lavatory door.
She closed the tap once she was finished and dried her hands on the provided hand towels, then leant forward to peer into the mirror above the sink. The girl in the mirror looked back at her, judging her post-nap state.
Pansy's hair was a bit mussed from napping against the window, a long strand had fallen out of its pin, and the white collar of her shirt poked out unevenly from the top of her black pinafore dress.
She wrinkled her nose and tugged at the collar until it sat smoothly against her dress again. She righted her puffed sleeves, smoothing out any unintended wrinkles and re-pinned the front strands of her hair away from her face.
Pansy gave herself a tremulous smile, before it steadied out and settled into her Pretty smile. Hogwarts was fast approaching, the Story was unfolding already. She had a plan for this year, and once that was over, she could plan for the next.
One thing at a time - she exhaled.
The girl in the mirror squared her shoulders.
She could do this.
"Lovely, darling! Very smart!"
Pansy startled, taking quick steps back. Oh - oh the mirror. She exhaled loudly. Right. Why talking mirrors were a thing, she'd never understand. "Thank you." She said primly, instead.
By the time she returned back to the compartment, Daphne and Millie were both up and looking through their trunks.
"The boys found us." Daphne said as Pansy closed the door behind herself and moved back to her seat. "They're a carriage down and a prefect had told them to get changed."
Pansy glanced through the window at the still light sky, "What time is it? Are we nearly there already?"
Millie shrugged, struggling to clasp her robe shut under her chin. "I don't know." She mumbled.
"Here, let me." Pansy said, batting the girl's hands away and fixing the silver needle of the clasp into the delicate latch. She straightened it out so that it was dead-centre of Millie's chest and stepped back to admire her work. "There."
"Thanks." The other girl grinned, smoothing out the fabric beneath her fingers. "I can help with yours."
She retrieved her cloak from her trunk and let Millie fiddle with the clasp for her. Daphne watched them, her own cloak looking pristine and perfect, her trunk back under the seats.
"Thank you." She said, when the other girl finished.
"We should go find the boys," Daphne said quickly, before they could sit down again. "Draco was spitting mad earlier."
"Because we didn't sit with them?" Pansy's brow furrowed.
"No, it's not that -" Daphne let out a sigh as the three of them left the compartment and started down the corridor. "He found Harry Potter, and, well – Potter snubbed him."
Pansy nearly choked. She'd forgotten! Forgotten that happened on the train! She wracked her brain frantically, trying to remember what had happened. Draco had called Ron Weasley poor, and… and Harry Potter had stuck by his friend. Right? It hadn't been a moment she had been planning on interfering in so it had kind of slipped her mind.
Daphne knocked on a compartment door loudly. "It's Daphne." She said.
There was a flurry of movement behind the door and Blaise opened it carefully. "Oh, good, you're here." He said, ushering them all in.
Draco was spitting mad.
The blond was practically pacing the compartment, sleeves rolled up and gesturing wildly with his wand. "-me! It's me, we're talking about! I'm a Malfoy! What does that Weasley have that I don't!?"
Millie stopped behind her, staring at Draco's impending meltdown. Daphne rolled her eyes and dropped onto the seat next to Vince, declining his offer of sherbet from a paper bag in his hand. Greg was to his left, cradling one hand gingerly.
"Greg!" Pansy interrupted, moving into the seat across from him. "What happened to your hand?" One of his fingers looked slightly sore and a bit puffy.
He frowned, looking a bit upset. "I got bit."
"-by Weasley's filthy rat!" Draco continued for him viciously, "I was just about to sock him in the face and it attacked Greg – with owner's like that, it's probably diseased! It was -"
"Did you rinse your hand after?" Pansy interrupted and of course, Greg shook his head. She turned on Draco, "And why on earth were you starting a fight? We haven't even gotten to Hogwarts yet!"
The boy spluttered, looking outraged. "But Weasley laughed at my name, I introduced myself and I heard him laugh! As if he's better than me !"
"And that was very rude of him." Pansy allowed but continued, nonplussed. "But you shouldn't have tried to start a fight - what would your Godfather think? He's one of our professors now and we'll have to tell a teacher about Greg's hand so that they can check it over."
Draco looked away from her, a red flush crawling up his face. He spun away abruptly and plopped himself down by the window, turning his back to the group sullenly.
Blaise offered to go with Greg to clean up in the bathroom and the two left quickly. Daphne and Vince were talking quietly, and Millie had settled on the other side of the door, and was snacking on a bag of sweets.
Pansy leant back in her seat, closing her eyes.
Draco was admittedly right about diseases, she wasn't sure how Animaguses worked but she doubted Peter Pettigrew had gotten rabies shots. And wasn't that just another thing to worry about?
Pansy had been fully planning on mostly following the Story for at least this year. She had an overarching, vague, if ridiculously ambitious plan that could be summed up to:
Avoid the freaking Basilisk - stop Voldemort's resurrection - stay alive.
It sounded nice and simple when you put it like that, and she was dearly hoping it would stay that way. She honestly hadn't expected to be thinking about Peter Pettigrew so soon though, not until next year at least.
She narrowed her eyes in thought – Given how she couldn't cast anything with her new wand just yet, it was hardly possible for her to confront the animagus alone. However, she had already suggested telling a teacher about the incident. It might give her a reputation of being a tattle-tale but it would at least make the rat known to an adult.
It could change nothing.
But it could work.
And if she wanted to make her changes, she actually had to do something.
Pansy sighed out loud, ignoring the way everyone else looked up at her warily. Draco was still staring out the window morosely, looking to all the world like she'd set his broom on fire. Daphne was looking pointedly between them both as if to say 'fix this'.
The sharp shrill of the train whistle made them all jump. Below them, the carriage floor shuddered as the train began to slow down, brakes shrieking and hissing all the way, to a halt.
"This is Hogsmeade Station – please leave your trunks on the train and begin moving to the exit."
At the announcement, they all stood and began to join the growing crowd in the corridor. It was a tight space, barely wide enough for three people when empty and now – it was packed. Students were pushing heir way towards the doors, bony elbows and jabbing figures. Quickly, she lost the others to the crowd, as the space the other children had moved into was closed off and they were swallowed by the moving bodies. She went to turn back, to wait it out in the compartment, but that was gone too.
Pansy narrowly avoided being clipped by a wayward elbow and snatched the corner of Draco's sleeve, pulling him towards her. "Let's stick together." He must have ended up behind her when they were exiting earlier, and she was glad they were together.
"Can you see any of the others?" He asked, breathlessly, as they ended up pressed up against each other, side-by-side,.
Someone to her left nearly bowled the both of them over, causing them to pitch dangerously to the left, as cries of 'watch it!' and 'stop pushing!' called out. With a pull, Draco steadied her back to her feet.
Pansy shook her head quickly, swallowing down rising panic. "They must be further up front."
They linked hands tightly as the current of people pushed them forwards, stumbling every few steps as yet another shove barrelled into them. Draco was in front of her, somewhere, she couldn't see him but his grip on her hand was tight. Suddenly, Pansy staggered to the side, something sharp and hard smashing into her torso.
Pansy gasped and choked as no air made it to her lungs. Her free hand flew up to clutch useless at her neck. She couldn't breathe - she couldn't breathe!
There was a sudden force that dragged her to the left, clipping her shoulder on the side of something hard – and she collapsed to her knees, still gasping.
"Pansy!" Hands came around her shoulders and someone joined her on the ground. Oh - they were out of the train, Draco had gotten them out. She hunched over her knees, still gasping. The pain in her chest was excruciating, like someone was tightening an iron chain around her ribs.
Pansy closed her eyes, trying to steady her breaths. Panicking wasn't helping, she needed to calm down. Every instinct in her body was clamouring for air but she forced herself take slower breaths – willing air into her lungs.
"Should I get someone?" Draco was saying, "I should probably stay -"
She reached out blindly for him, clutching at fabric she assumed was his cloak. It was okay – she was fine – she'd been hit in the chest by something – winded. Slowly she straightened, opening her eyes as the breaths came a bit slower and deeper now.
Draco was hovering next to her, worried, his cloak caught tightly between her fingers. "Are – are you okay?"
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak until she was sure she could breathe properly.
He helped her to stand wobbly on her feet, waving off an older student who she hadn't even noticed until they were gone. "I think we've got to go that way." Draco pointed to the other end of the Platform where a tall, giant of a man was holding his hand in the air.
They moved slowly, Draco glancing at her every few steps as if to check she was still breathing. She hoped Millie and Daphne were okay, hopefully Vince would have been able to help shield them from the brunt of it, or maybe they had escaped into a compartment to wait out the crowds.
There were less people now. The veritable flood had drained away, leaving only the wiser students who had clearly waited out the masses.
"Thanks," Pansy said, when she could breathe again. "I think something hit me in the chest earlier. Thanks for getting us out."
Draco looked briefly relieved to hear her voice, before he quickly rolled his eyes. "Both you and Greg are probably going to need to be seen just in case – we haven't even gotten to Hogwarts yet!" He pitched his voice higher, mimicking her words from earlier.
Pansy sighed. It wasn't really fair to be annoyed at Draco, Ron Weasley had laughed at him, at his name, before he could even get to know the other boys. It was rude, and he was eleven, of course he was upset by it. "Sorry for how I acted on the train." She said, biting her lip. "Weasley was rude to you. You had a right to be upset."
Draco huffed. "I was annoyed. Not upset." He sniffed, "I was upset with you though – you're supposed to be on my side. We've been friends since we were five."
Her eyes dropped to her shoes. Was that even true? They were the kids of the ladies at Mother's social gatherings. The future possible betrothals and rivals for good marriage prospects and connections to society. Pansy wasn't sure that she'd ever really considered them friends.
Gilli was different, they were someone who she let loose around, who really knew her – they were a blank slate, completely unmentioned in the Story. And, for all that she could now separate the children she'd grown up with from their made-up counterparts, she couldn't completely ignore what her knowledge told her they could be.
Would be – if she didn't do something.
She felt like she'd be tainting the word friendship if she called it that.
But she did like them, and she was fond of them.
"I'm sorry," Pansy said, trying to brush away the image of a trio of older boys in a room of fire, and a perilous flight on old brooms through it to make it to the doors to safety. Three going in, two coming out. Her memory of some of the Story had gotten vaguer over the years, and though she remembered an older Draco's face clearly, the faces of the two boys that had gone in with him she couldn't remember.
But if it was Draco - then there were only two boys who would follow him through flames like that.
"I'm sorry," Pansy tried again, looking at him now. Draco was watching her, nose wrinkling in impatience as he glanced at the group of gathering first years still some distance away. It was unfair to put it on him, this Draco was young and only eleven, and still full of boyish innocence. Unbidden, blurred faces in flame came to mind again. No -
"It's just that Greg was hurt." She blurted out, words coming out in a rush. "You know that Vince and Greg would follow you anywhere, they trust you, they'll back you up – but sometimes what you do has consequences – consequences that aren't for you."
Draco stopped walking, turning back to her. "That's not – I know that! They've always been like that, I couldn't get them to stop if I tried!"
"I'm not saying it because it's a bad thing."
"No – you're saying it because it's my fault that Greg got hurt!" He snapped.
"No!" Pansy nearly shouted, because that wasn't what she meant. Merlin - she was terrible at this. "I didn't mean it like it was your fault."
It's an Animagus, she wanted to shout, the disgust burned in her stomach. Peter Pettigrew had killed people, and he had been in a room with a bunch of first years who didn't even know any spells yet. Though he had stayed a harmless rat until third year in the Story , there was no guarantee things would be the same here.
She had no way of knowing when she could trust her knowledge and when she shouldn't.
And the consequences of getting it wrong were horrifying. If she could, she'd take her little group and run, put as much distance between them and the oncoming danger as possible.
Instead, Pansy said – " Weasley had a rat. It's not even on the official supplies list, it wasn't in a cage!"
Draco looked like he wanted to argue, and she cut over him before he could speak.
"You're Greg and Vince's protector too, you know," She said, thinking of the way Draco had begun his disliking of Ernie from one mean joke behind Greg's back. "They trust you because you're clever, and you stand up for them when they can't and they walk around you like they're your bodyguards, but they're yours to protect too." She wanted to get it through to him that he was as much their protector as they were his, the boys were his friends, not his lackeys despite what others may have thought.
"Oh –" Draco shifted, eyes flickering to the side and then forwards. Ahead of them, Daphne was chatting to the Patil twins while Millie and Blaise looked to be scanning the Platform. Vince spotted them first, waving his arms in big sweeping motions, pointing them out to Greg by his side.
Draco and Pansy walked over to them in silence, still linking arms.
Daphne had a firm frown on her face when they finally made it to the group. "Where were you two? You were behind us one second and then you were gone!"
"We got caught up in the crowd," Pansy rubbed at her chest, the dull ache still present.
"Is it always like that?" Draco demanded hotly. "It was chaos, we were nearly crushed!"
Pansy held her hand up to her forehead and swooned dramatically. "It was awful – Draco saved us."
He snorted loudly. The others looked decidedly unsure whether or not to believe them. "Pansy got hit in the chest by something and decided to stop breathing –"
"I was winded!"
"- so both she and Greg can go get checked out together." Draco nodded and then grabbed Vince and Greg by the shoulders and dragged them away to follow the moving group, leaving her to the clutches of Daphne Greengrass all by herself.
"What!?" The girl fumed, linking their arms together as Blaise and Millie followed behind. "I don't understand! We leave you alone for a second and you nearly die -"
"I panicked, I wasn't dying!"
"Nearly die!" She continued shrilly. "You and Draco are as bad as each other, I won't be leaving you two alone again! And what were you thinking? Why didn't you just go and find a compartment to hide in?! You know what - never mind, don't answer that!"
Pansy turned to look over her shoulder, "Help me." She mouthed at Blaise and Millie. The traitorous duo shrugged back at her.
"You're on your own." Blaise mouthed back.
Back-stabbing traitors.
Up ahead, the path started to lead downwards and from the higher ground, Pansy finally caught a glimpse of the leading group slightly further down. Right at the head of it, holding a closed umbrella aloft like a torch, a giant of a man led them, so huge he towered of little figures of the students right behind him. Hagrid.
"Mind yer step, now! Firs' years follow me!" He called back cheerfully as they began to move down a steep, narrow slope, slipping and stumbling. It was lucky indeed that they were still on the cusp between Summer and Autumn, and Scotland was still light this time in the evening. Navigating this path in the dark would have been treacherous.
Thick trees to either side of them blotted out the sky to a thin strip up above. There were gnarled tree roots jutting out and loose rocks and all manner of things to trip on. Nobody spoke much, concentrating on putting the next foot down and avoiding a tumble down the path.
Hagrid was saying something else, up at the front, but as they turned the corner of the path, Pansy's eyes snapped upwards, away from the precarious path with a gasp.
In front, the narrow path had opened up suddenly to the shore of a great black lake, reflecting the slowly bruising sky. And there, in the distance, perched high on the rock, was a vast castle, it's many turrets and towers standing proud at the high mountain summit, coloured flags dancing in the wind.
"Hogwarts." Daphne breathed beside her.
It was so much grander than she had imagined. Austere and beautiful, like something out of a fairy tale.
"No more'n four to a boat!" Hagrid hollered and pointed towards a fleet of little boats sitting at the water's edge, lapping against the shore.
Pansy found herself stepping onto a precariously rocking boat with Daphne, Millie and Blaise.
"Do you think these will hold?" Millie peered into the dark water, looking uncharacteristically nervous.
Blaise pointed at a boat right at the end that Hagrid got into by himself. "If it can hold him, it can hold us."
"Right then - FORWARD!" Hagrid bellowed and the little boats moved forwards all at once. The lake was still around them, faintly rippling in the breeze. Nobody spoke as they sailed onwards, mostly either eying the grand castle that towered over them as they got closer and closer to the cliff it sat on, or staring into the dark water anxiously.
Hadn't there been something in the Triwizard tournament? Grindylows? Pansy shuddered, pulling her hands away from the sides of the boat.
"Heads down!"
The boats slipped under a curtain of ivy, tendrils brushing the tops of their heads, hiding a wide opening in the rock and a dark passageway under the mountain. Inside the tunnel, little floating lights drifted somewhere high above their heads, like fireflies or distant stars. It was colder down here too, without the warmth of the sun to heat the cold rock. They reached what seemed to be some sort of underground harbour, the boats sailing right up to the pebble beach of the shore, where they clambered out.
Once they were all out, Hagrid led them onwards - through a path carved through the rock, this time lit by flaming torches.
"Do we have to do this every time?" Millie whispered, in between pants.
Finally, they emerged into a grassy field, right in the shadow of the Hogwarts castle itself. Stone steps led up to a large set of doors and a heavy brass knocker in the centre stared back at them, shaped as a dragon's head.
"Everyone alright?" Hagrid cast an eye over the group, lingering on a few panting faces and red cheeks.
And then he turned and knocked three times on the door.