What I've Gained

"Hm…" Shirou groans, opening his eyes to see Saber kneeling over him.

"—Oh. You have awoken, Shirou."

"…Saber, why am I…"

"You have been sleeping since that time. Your body is almost completely healed, so you do not need to worry."

"…I see. That's great, but…"

But what about her? The wound he got from Gilgamesh's attack is irrelevant: Saber was injured pretty severely too, and the magical energy she uses to heal her wounds is nowhere near infinite. After using Excalibur again she must be struggling. So why…

"Saber, were you treating me all this time?"

"I merely wiped your sweat. I cannot treat wounds as Rin does."

"—Idiot. You didn't need to do that. It must be more painful for you right now."

"That is not true. I only have a light wound compared to you. But I cannot ignore what you just said. Even if your wounds have healed, they were bad enough that you could have died. Please worry about yourself for now," she says as she wrings out the water from a cold towel and begins wiping down his body.

"—!"

"…? Shirou, does your wound hurt? It seems you are getting a fever again—"

"I-I don't have a fever…! No, you can just rest for now. You might be all right, but you used Excalibur. So you should be the one resting! You'll collapse again at this rate."
"Eh… well, that is true, but… But, I am doing better than you right now. It is only natural for me to protect you until you get better."

With her downturned expression, he can't even bring himself to object. "Then you'll rest once I recover, Saber?"

"Of course. I need to sleep as well."

If she insists, then he'll have to just grin and bear it. Time passes slowly as she continues washing away the sweat from his body. There's nothing else he can do at the moment, so he just idly watches her movements. She's the same as always, illuminated by the moonlight just like that night. With her pale skin and slender build, she really does look beautiful—it's hard to imagine her fighting when she's like this.

"Shirou…? Why are you staring at my arm? …I do not want to suspect this, but are you comparing my arms to those of Rin?" He can't tell what motivated the question. Anger? Embarrassment? Jealousy? Some combination of the three?

"No. The wound doesn't hurt, so I was just spacing out. It's not like I have anything to say about your arms."

"I see. That is good." She pauses for a moment, the worry fading away from her face. "So your wound is fine now? I was seriously angry, but I will forget about it if you are all right. …It is rather late to say this, but I thank you, Shirou. And I am really happy that you are safe." She speaks happily, and her mouth forms into a rare smile.

"Wha—"

She's smiling now? From dreaming of her past he can tell she rarely—if ever—knew happiness or entertainment, but she'll smile at something like this? Oh—that's it, isn't it? She can only smile for others, not for her own happiness. He remembers her saying something like that before, that she's happier seeing him smile.

…That's not right.

"…! Shirou…!?" As he pulls her into a hug, Saber reacts in surprise. "Sh-Shirou…! W-what are you doing…!?" She wriggles around, trying to free herself from his embrace, but he only holds her tighter. "—! Shirou, please stop…! I do not know what is going on, but this is going too far for a joke…! Shirou, please—!" Finally seeming to be at her limit, she raises an arm as if to hit him.

But he can't stop now. "—It's okay. Listen, you have to smile for your own sake." How many years has she spent fighting for others? She should be as happy as everyone she's helped bring joy to.

Her arm freezes. "Eh—Shi…rou…?—Why… why are you crying?"

…He's crying? Huh—it seems he is. "…Saber. Isn't this enough? You've done your best. You fought even by yourself. So—you have to find your own happiness. You've fulfilled your oath, so you can return to being Artoria."

"Wha—you are still talking about that?"

"Yeah, I'll keep on saying it…! I can't help it because I've fallen in love with you…! That's why, Saber, no, Artoria—I won't give up until you change your mind…!"

"Wha—" She stops struggling and simply curls up in his arms. "…Shirou. Please do not bother me… This is unpleasant even if you are my Master, Shirou."

"I'll move away if you don't want this… I said I love you, so I'll let you go if you don't love me."

For a moment she doesn't reply, simply hanging her head. "…You are being unfair. You know my past, but you continued to invade me. You should know my answer already, so why—why are you still concerned about me? …You must have seen all the sins I have committed."

"—So what? I don't know what this emotion is. I just can't leave you alone. Please smile. I want you to smile, Saber—I want to be with you."

"…My answer will not change. I cannot break my oath as king. Even if I was not appropriate for the role, I was entrusted with my country as the king. I could not fulfill my duty, so this… this freedom is not permitted to me."

Rather than responding verbally, he tightens his embrace and brings his head to hers. She's hesitant, not giving in to his gentle kiss as her body tenses; he does not push further, leaving their lips only brushing against each other.

It's different from that night. He kisses her out of neither lust nor necessity—he kisses her because he loves her. He loves her more than anything, and he can't think of any other way he could show it.

And more than anything, he wants her to allow herself to be happy.

"…Shirou. That kiss was…"

"It's not a mistake. I'll say it as many times as I need to. I love you and I can't just let you go. Tell me if you don't like it—I'll stop all of this immediately. Tell me that we're only a Master and a Servant and contradict me."

"…How unfair. Are you telling me to say such a thing?"

"Yeah. Say the word and I'll let go. But if not—just spend the night with me. At the start of this you said you wanted to sleep alongside me, right?"

"… Shirou, please clarify. By 'spend the night' with you, do you mean as we did that night?"

"Wha—no, that's not what I meant. …I can't say I would be opposed either, though. We were desperate back then, and we didn't have much freedom to do what we wanted. But now, I can treat you more valuably—I can treat you like you deserve to be treated."

"…I see. I believe I understand how you feel." She pushes him away and climbs to her feet.

"Oh… I'm sorry, Saber. I shouldn't have—"

"Wait a moment, Shirou. …Please, just look away until I tell you to."

"—?" He's not sure what she's planning, but he trusts her. With a nod, he agrees to whatever it is. As he turns around he hears some kind of rustling noise—wait, is that…?

"…I am done. You can turn back now, Shirou."

When he obeys he's met by the sight of Saber's bare body, her pale skin glowing in the moonlight. She's slightly turned away, hiding her chest from his view with her arms—she must be embarrassed about exposing her body like this again.

"…I cannot give your feelings a proper response. However, thiswill benecessary. I used my Noble Phantasm; I will be weakened in our future battles unless my mana is replenished. …Please take off your clothes, Shirou. It is unfair if only I bare myself."

"…Yeah, alright." As he turns to do so, he considers her words. He's not sure exactly why, but he knows one thing: her voice lacked conviction as she explained her reasoning. It might be something even she's unaware of, but she's definitely not being fully honest about her intentions.

When he turns back he finds her sitting on the futon. She's looking towards the floor, but every few seconds he notices her gaze flick upwards to his body. But more importantly…

"…Saber? You took your hair down?"

"Eh…? Oh, y-yes, I believe leaving it fastened would be unnecessary."

For a moment he just stares back at her reddened face, mesmerized by how much of a difference such a slight change makes. As she is now, not a trace of the warrior is visible.

"Shirou? Is something the matter?"

"Huh? Oh, no, nothing like that. …You're just so beautiful that my mind froze for a minute."

"What do you mean? This is not the first time you are seeing my body."

"I haven't seen it like t-this! The forest was too dark for me to see much, and the bathroom was always foggy. This is the first time I'm seeing you so clearly."

"…I see," she quietly mumbles. Did he say something wrong…? "Regardless, are you ready to begin? If we do not do so soon, morning will come."

"…Alright. Just lay back and I'll get started."

She does as he instructed, leaning back and spreading her legs to reveal lightly glistening lips as she props herself up with her arms. But rather than meeting her crotch with his own, he kneels in front of her and lowers his head.

"—Shirou? Wh-what are you doing?"

"I told you, I don't want this to be like that night. Just relax for now, Saber. Trust me." Without waiting for a reply, he reaches out his tongue and gently licks at her slit.

"Oh—" She cuts her moan short as she throws her head back, unused to this new sensation. Her breathing grows heavier as he continues to lick at her folds, drinking in her wetness. It tastes a bit sweet—fitting for her. Wanting to please her more, he lifts a hand to her breasts and begins lightly massaging them as he continues to drink her in.

"Ngh—" Another moan cut short—she really is stubborn, isn't she? Egged on, he brushes his fingertips against her nipple. It makes her quietly moan again, but she still manages to suppress it. …This is getting irritating. If she won't allow herself to enjoy this, then what's the point? He'll just have to make her feel so good that she can't hide it anymore.

And so he stops lapping at her entrance and instead plunges his tongue inwards, licking at her inner walls. "Ahhh—! Ah, nn… haaa!" Her moans finally grow beyond containing, and after brief hesitation she reaches out to grab his hair as if to hold him in place. That's no problem at all though. He just continues to rub her breasts and lick at her depths, until…

"Oh—S-Shirou!"

…her body shakes with relief as she finally comes, her juices flooding into his mouth. Now that he's finally broken through, he sits back and watches as she breathes deeply while attempting to regain her composure.

"…Shirou, that was—"

"I know that didn't give you any mana, but I wanted you to enjoy yourself… although maybe I went too far. Saber, do you still have the energy for—"

"Wait a moment, Shirou. …It is my t-turn now."

"Saber, you don't have to do that—I know you're only doing this so you can fight at full strength. Don't force yourself to do something you don't want to."

"N-no, we are now uneven. I c-cannot leave things like this." She crawls over to him and slowly reaches out a hand towards his waist. "…I do not have experience with such matters, but I shall try to repay you anyway. 'Just relax for now,' Shirou," she says with a reddened face and nervous smile.

Any resistance he had left leaves his body with her words. He doesn't want her to do this out of a sense of obligation, but… is that really what this is? Her voice seemed to lack conviction just as before—even she didn't seem convinced by her words. …No, he must be imagining it.

His thoughts are broken by the soft skin of Saber's hand making contact with his cock, even more blood immediately flowing to it. For a moment she gently rubs it, staring like she's not quite sure what to do next. But she seems to make up her mind quickly, as she lowers her head down, hesitates for a moment, and tentatively takes him into her mouth.

"Gah—Saber," he calls out, placing a hand on her shoulder. With the way she's just licking at his head, it seems she's trying to copy what he had done earlier. It's not much, but it's enough to make his vision go white with pleasure almost immediately.

Just when he feels like he's gotten used to the sensation he feels her fingertips gently running along his shaft. He lets out another moan as he looks downward, met by Saber gazing back up at him. Was she trying to experiment to see what would make him feel good…?

As if to confirm that thought she takes him deeper into her mouth and begins licking at his shaft. "Ngh… ah, hah, Saber—" He moves the hand not already on her shoulder to her head, slowly stroking her hair as he feels sweat begin to drip down his body.

He's not sure how long they stay like that, Saber lapping at his cock with her tongue as he strokes her hair, but eventually he can tell he's getting close. "Hah, hah… I'm almost there, Saber."

She briefly pauses before nodding, seeming set on finishing him off like this. But rather than just returning to what she'd been doing before, she begins sucking on his cock—and that's enough to push him over the edge.

"Saber—!"

Her eyes widen as his cum floods her mouth. Unable to drink it all in, she's forced to open up and let some of it drip out onto her chest.

Shirou falls onto his back, breathing heavily. A few moments pass as both of them try to recompose themselves for the second time tonight, slowly steadying their breathing. "Saber… was that enough?" he eventually asks. As much as he'd like to pretend they're doing this just for the sake of it, Saber regaining enough strength to face Gilgamesh is vital.

"…I cannot say. It may be, but even in the best of conditions taking him on would be no easy task. If you are able, I believe it would be prudent if I were provided with more mana."

"…Alright. Let's get ready, then." Yet again he can tell that she's not being entirely honest. This isn't the time or place to push that point though, so he remains quiet as the two get situated. Saber lies back down on the futon, and he rests his hands on her thighs as he positions the tip of his cock at her slit. Unlike that dark night, he can see Saber's full beauty as he prepares to enter her.

…He really wishes they weren't just doing this out of necessity.

"Are you ready, Saber?"

"Yes. Begin when you are prepared, Shirou."

He takes a final deep breath before slowly pushing himself into her. "Hmm…" This time, her effort at hiding her moan is half-hearted at best.

He speeds up faster than he had last time, rapidly pulling out and plunging back in again and again. After a few minutes he realizes he'd brought his hands to Saber's chest at some point, massaging her breasts as he continues thrusting his hips.

He also realizes that rather than lying still, at some point Saber had begun to match his own movements. They pull away and push back together simultaneously, the pleasure from their combined thrusts causing both of their bodies to turn bright red and drip with sweat.

"Ahh… ah, hah… yah—" Though she might still be hiding her feelings, she's not hiding her pleasure at all at this point. She lets out moan after moan, panting for breath between, and he does the same. With her walls throbbing around him, he can tell that neither of them will be lasting much longer.

"Hah, hah—Saber, I'm almost—"

"Yes, I—hah—am as well… ngh…"

"Saber—!"

"S-Shirou—!"

The two thrust together one final time before exploding in unison, Shirou flooding Saber with his cum as her walls tightly clench around his cock and her own fluids flow outwards. They're still for a moment, remaining in the same position they'd finished in, before Shirou finally pulls out and collapses beside Saber on the futon.

"…Saber?"

"…My magical energy has been replenished. Starting tomorrow, I shall be able to fight once again."

"Saber."

"…That is it for now, Shirou. My role is to protect you and obtain the Holy Grail. I cannot think about anything else until the battle is over."

The two grow quiet, thinking about the coming battle. Even now, is defeating Gilgamesh even possible?

…It has to be. He can't allow that scum to win.

His worries are interrupted by Saber turning to grab his hand, finding himself face to face with her.

"Saber…?"

"Let us think tomorrow, Shirou. We shall be more capable of planning once we are well rested. And… I would like to sleep like this for now." She blushes as she finishes her thought.

"—Yeah. I wanted to do so too."

"…Yes. Good night, Shirou. …Let us return to our previous selves when we wake up." Though she closes her eyes, he hesitates. Without letting go of her hand, he reaches his other hand to her head and begins running his fingers through her hair.

As he drifts off to sleep, the last thing he sees is Saber smiling contently.

Author's Note

Hey, I actually managed to get this out (somewhat) on time! Sorry about the kind of lengthy opening taken from the VN, I thought the leadup to this h-scene was fairly important. And honestly, I just like it.

That aside, this h-scene needed far fewer structural changes than the first; while I cut out Rin completely before, the largest change I made here to the actual events is swapping the ordering slightly. That said, I did still change this scene to a fair degree. Before I even started writing this fic I knew that the "even I know how to please a man" line had to go. It doesn't fit her character at all to begin with, and it definitely doesn't fit the tone I wanted to set.

At this point in the Fate route, Saber is in denial about her feelings for Shirou (or at least she's masking them), which is why I have Shirou notice the lack of conviction in her words on several occasions. I also have Saber get much more into things here, actively participating as opposed to just lying there as in the first h-scene and barely containing her moans at first before eventually dropping the mask entirely. Like the first h-scene, I also tried to make everything much less… horny, I guess. I really don't have any other way of putting it. I prefer to see Shirou and Saber as just an incredibly wholesome pairing, so I tried to portray them as such even here (and I plan to continue to do that in future fics).

And that brings us to the end. Thanks again for getting this far, I hope this chapter is at least better than the last. I'll probably take a break from writing for a little bit now, but I'll be getting to work on the sequel to Pursuit of the Dream soon. It'll probably be a few months before I'll have anything to show for that, but I may write more short fics like this for Shirou and Saber (or maybe other pairings, Fate or otherwise) in the meantime. Anyways, I'll see you all next time. Thanks again for the support!