"Tell you what," Jerome cleared his throat, setting some bottlecaps on the table formed by an overturned crate, "This whole 'segregated dorms' thing is really starting to piss me off."

"Language, Jer." Fred shrugged, putting some of his own bottlecaps with numbers written on the top. They were playing poker, a holdover from their training days. They were never allowed to actually gamble, of course, but the game did serve well to teach the Spartans how to read even the subtlest movement cues in another human.

"Then fine," He rolled his eyes, straightening up. "This, like, living situation where half of us is split up in another room is, like, totally messing with my chill vibes, bro."

"The hell is that supposed to be?" Leon questioned, looking at Jerome like he just sprouted a second head, the head popped off his body and grew its own body, then walked away.

"It's 21st century speak," Jerome answered, pointing at Fred, "The only language he seems to understand."

"A: That's valley girl, is what you just did." Fred retorted, pointing back, "B: Don't hate me for being a cultural connoisseur."

"The 21st and 20th centuries weren't exactly that great, Fred." Will shrugged with a sheepish smile.

"It was too!" Fred refuted.

Li, silent up until then, found his voice, pointing at Fred. "If I hear that dumb-ass pop song by Zager and Evans again, I'm going to hold you personally responsible. 'In the year 2525, blah blah blah, science bad-' fuck off." He shook his head. "Bunch of backward-ass preachy assholes. Like their time was any better with the world pointing a fucking gun at its own head."

Will raised an eyebrow at Li, "You, uh, got something against that song?"

"When it's playing nonstop cause all the radio have the same damn sense of shitty humor, and all the people who think we should've never crawled out of the ocean start lecturing on how the mere idea of scientific progress is going to kill all mankind…" He gritted his teeth. "Yes. I have a problem with the fucking song."

"You know what needs to happen," Fred pointed at Li, "You need to get laid."

Li blinked, spluttering. "Wha- bu-" It went away as he seized back control of the situation. "Well, Fred, since you so graciously volunteered-"

"Ha!" Fred snorted. "No."

"There's an escort service in New Alexandria," Will recalled, blinking, "We could take him there."

"Dude, we're fourteen."

"With physiques of Olympic athletes!" He retorted. "I mean… look at this-"

"Don't do the Rock thing-" Fred begged, before Will started doing just that, and he had to turn away in disgust. Well, at least he was wearing a shirt.

"Look, I don't need to get laid, okay." Li replied, looking at all those assembled around.

Fred shrugged, leaning back. "Hey, it's no skin off my teeth if you snap at the wrong person."

The door to their quarters slid open, and John came walking in, the last person to arrive, which wasn't unusual, cause John was always last to turn in when it was lights out, but what was odd was just how long he'd been gone.

"Hey, hey, hey, there's the big man!" Will grinned. "Bit later than usual, aren't you?"

"It's because he's spending all his time with Halsey's kid." Fred grinned as he looked at John.

John huffed, shaking his head. "I do not."

"Naomi says she caught the two of them behind the silo." Jerome remarked, only for John to grab a pillow and send it flying at him.

"Oh, really?" Will asked, his eyes twinkling. "What were the two of them doing behind there, do you wonder?"

"Nothing untoward." John snapped, shaking his head. "If you must know… she and I were working out a plan to get this whole… bunking situation sorted."

"Wait, what?" Fred blinked, straightening. "What do you mean?"

"We take quarters based on the team distribution." He explained. "Blue Team in one, Red Team in another, Grey Team in another, Black Team in one, and so on."

"Oh." Fred muttered. He… rather liked the sound of that idea. Him, John, Sam, Linda, and Kelly all bunking in the same room again… sneaking out to cause trouble in the middle of the night.

"Yeah, I miss Linda…" Sam wistfully sighed.

"Doctor Halsey wouldn't go for it, though." John shrugged.

"Yeah, I wonder why…" Fred muttered, rolling his eyes

John frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing…" Fred grinned. "I'm just saying. Big, strong, athletic guy like you, small, sensitive, attractive girl like little miss sword…"

"I don't appreciate the insinuation that there are… improper things between Cortana and I." John muttered. "She is a newcomer, she wants to integrate into our group, and I volunteered to do that."

"Right…" Jerome slowly nodded. "Of course."

John opened his mouth to continue, when a plinking noise hit all of their refined ears, causing their heads to snap to the source, the window.

A rock came hurtling up, clinking against the glass, as the boys curiously approached it.

Fred opened the window first, popping his head out. "The hell?"

There was an isolated stereo system sitting in the grass below the window. The screen glowed as it began to play, being controlled by a wireless remote.

"Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round…"

"Great." Li groaned. "More shitty music."

"And I need you now tonight. And I need you more than ever."

"No, hold on…" Fred frowned. "No… That's Bonnie Tyler! Who the hell is coming by to blast Bonnie Tyler this late at night?"

"Wait," Will poked through, looking closer, "That's Halsey's stereo. She uses it to listen to music while working in her lab."

All looked to him, raising eyebrows.

"What?"

"How do you know that?" Sam questioned.

"It's not like she locks her lab." Will shrugged. "I wandered in one day while she was doing gene-sequencing on those freaky-ass grapes she's making, you know, the ones that grow like kudzu."

"Okay," John nodded.

"…what does she listen to?" Li inquired.

"Heavy metal, techno, pretty sure I saw a few Brittany Spears LPs, and a surprising amount of disco." Will answered. "Very little classical, believe it or not. I suppose she doesn't like leaning into the stereotypes. It's not out of the question that she just left it out while planting and sat on the remote or something."

"Yeah," Sam nodded, "But then explain the rocks being thrown at our window, wingnut."

"Oh, those. Yeah, I can't explain those." Will shook his head.

"Dammit you guys, don't you realize?" Fred spun around. "Someone set up that stereo, threw the rocks to catch our attention, and now is playing love songs over it! Do you know what this means!?"

Jerome frowned. "Who would go through the trouble of breaking into Halsey's lab and steal her radio? The Doc guards her stuff pretty well… Would have to be someone she trusts implicitly, like her own kid-"

Jerome's abruptly stopped talking, and all looked to John.

"What?" John looked around.

Fred was the first to react, his face splitting apart with the wide grin. "Dude. That girl has got the hots for you, bad."

John, for the first time since Fred had known him, went red. "Wha- No- Wha- No!" John spluttered. "It's not… nah."

"Aw, dude, the song just changed to Take My Breath Away!" Will reported.

John went pale, blinking.

"He's not falling for it…" Kelly dejectedly muttered, peering through the bush she was hiding behind to the window, looking at Fred.

"That's because you're supposed to hold up the boombox, dip-ass." Linda hissed.

"What?" Kelly questioned. "Why would anyone do that?"

Cortana shook her head. "It's like a serenade. You know, like in Romeo and Juliet. Except it works for people who can't sing worth a damn… and it probably won't end in death." She wistfully sighed, smiling. "I was actually in a production of that play, you know, at Koletre-Browning. I didn't find it any fun though… I was working on two doctoral theses but they needed a Juliet and my parents wanted me to take an interest in the arts..."

Linda looked at Cortana, curiously raising an eyebrow. "You have a doctorate?"

"I have seven doctorates, thank you very much." Cortana whispered back, looking through the bushes with Kelly toward the window. "Biotechnology, theoretical physics, psychology, advanced computer sciences, biochemistry, genetics, and slipspace engineering."

"…and yet you had time to do the theater program." Linda jabbed, subtly trying to call the other girl out.

Cortana, however, just nodded. "Right. It was good fun, when I didn't have deadlines. I even performed Gilbert & Sullivan a few times. I remember this one time I showed up piss drunk on stage and still made it through Pirates of Penzance… Course, the real impressive part was the fact that I was the one who wound up having to do the patter songs."

Linda snorted. "Maybe that's what we should be playing. You think Halsey has a copy of Modern Major General laying around?"

"Of course I do." Cortana replied, shaking her head, "I mean, of course she does, it's what I would do."

"You are a damn enigma, you know that?" Linda told her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cortana confusedly replied.

"Nothing…" Linda shook her head.

"Guys, come on." Kelly hissed, before groaning, as the music player jumped to the next song in sequence.

"God I hope I get it, I hope I get it! How many people does he need? How many boys how many girls-"

"Huh." Linda blinked. "Didn't take Halsey for a showtune sort of gal."

Cortana shrugged on behalf of her progenitor. "Good music is good music, no matter the genre or when it was made. Hell, give me a few seconds and I think I can find some Johnny Cash in this thing-"

"Oh, this was a mistake…" Kelly rubbed her face. "We should get that thing and go-" She took a step.

"Not while they're looking at it!" Linda whisper-hissed, grabbing Kelly by the arm before she could step out of the bushes. "Actually, wait, you know what? Go out there and get it! Maybe that'll give you the kick in the pants to talk to Fred!"

"How about I shut it off first?" Cortana suggested, producing the remote. "You know, so they all just… lose interest in the thing."

"Good plan." Kelly eagerly nodded. "Put it into action, please."

Cortana nodded, pushing the power button. The stereo deactivated, and they watched the movement in the upper windows, waiting for it to close and the light to shut off.

So, of course, one of the boys decided to go out and investigate the stereo. In-person. By the quickest path possible.

John climbed out the window, lowering himself by the windowsill, letting go and dropping. His long strides crossed the yard to the stereo, and he picked it up, his gaze swinging right past the girls clustered together in the bushes.

He walked right past them, back through the door.

"Jesus Christ," Kelly hyperventilated, "How did he not notice us?"

"I think he did." Cortana wheezed. She began to back away. "There's no way he didn't, unless… Holy shit, that was lucky. Let's get out of here."

"What about the stereo?" Kelly questioned.

"Leave it!" Linda hissed. "John's the biggest fucking boy-scout on the planet, he'll make sure it gets back where it belongs."

Kelly shot a look at the window, taking off with her fellow girls.

"Well, here it is." John sat the music player down on the desk. "What was causing all the ruckus."

"Well, did you see her?" Fred inquired, wiggling his eyebrows. "Your mysterious lady serenading you on a starry night from the bottom of your window, I mean."

"No, because there was no one out there." John shook his head. "Will was probably right. Halsey must've left it outside and grabbed the remote to turn it on before realizing it was still outside."

"Ha!" Will pumped a fist. "I knew it!"

Fred, however, was not so easily swayed. "But the rocks-"

"Birds flying into the window most likely." John shrugged. He gestured to the stereo. "I'll make sure this gets back to Halsey."

"Fine." Fred sighed, sitting back down as John exited.

Jerome shook his head. "He's so oblivious, it's damn painful."

Fred slowly nodded in agreement, before turning back to their game.

John, however, did not go to Halsey with the stereo. No, instead he exploited the odd layout of the farmstead, looping around the rather circular structure to make sure that his friends couldn't see him, and he headed to the girls' section of the place.

Before long, he found the door he was looking for, and knocked.

He stood there, waiting with military-drilled patience, as he heard whispers come from the other side.

"Okay, if anyone asks, we were playing DOOM for most of the night-" Cortana whispered, before yanking it open. "Oh… Hey…" She looked down at the stereo. "Oh, hell."

"Relax." He stepped in, setting it on the nightstand nearby, as Linda and Kelly looked at him, Kelly with wide eyes. "I'm not here to ask questions."

"Really?" Linda spoke up first. "You're not at all curious about what we were doing out there?"

"No." John shook his head. "If the two of you are trying to help Kelly get Fred to notice her, that's your business."

"What…" Kelly paled, blinking. "How did you know?"

"Cortana had the remote control," He noted, glancing at her, "But the whole idea of a window serenade is about as 20th-21st century as you can get. Something like that would be the standout way of getting Fred's attention, speaking in his language, if you'd like."

"God…" Kelly muttered, flushing with embarrassment as she shielded her face. "But you can't tell him!"

"I won't." John swore. "…if you can tell me what caused this in the first place."

"I thought you said you weren't curious." Linda crossed her arms.

"I wasn't curious about what you three were doing," John retorted, "I am about this."

"It's really not your place to pry-" Cortana began.

"No, no," Kelly cut her off, "It's fine. He didn't rat us out, I'm assuming, so I guess I can tell him." She shifted. "Remember the other day? When Fred and I got into that chase with the NAPD?"

John nodded, "You finally lost them by hiding in a cave in the woods, right?"

Kelly nodded, fiddling with her hands. "Well, after all of that… I wanted to be furious with him for getting us into that situation. I mean, he said we were going to stay in the woods. But afterwards, I couldn't help but laugh, and my first thoughts were 'God, I love this guy.'" She shrugged, putting on a brave grin. "Simple as that."

"I see." John rumbled in that awfully stoic way that meant he was thinking about something. "I'm glad you told me, Kelly, and I promise, I won't tell Fred, or anyone else, for that matter."

She let out a sigh. "Thank you."

"But I will say," He continued, "There are better ways to get his attention than with a mysterious boombox left in the yard." He said, smiling as he finished.

"Oh, get out, you!" Cortana shoved him out the door, closing it. She sighed, turning to the stereo. "Okay… now to turn this back in without Catherine murdering me."

The door opened without a knock, revealing the scientist on the other side.

"Oh… too late."