Vile, coughing fits was the background ambience for today on the Halsey farmstead, as the woman herself lay in bed, on her side, and shivering like someone out in the rain.

"Augh… eugh…" Halsey grunted, closing her eyes against the throbbing in her head on account of her sinuses being completely stuffed to the point of bursting. "God… I know I don't believe in You, but if this is all some way of making me pay for all my crimes… fuck you."

"Be quiet, you big baby." Cortana huffed, doing a medical scan… which was Halsey speak for feeling if she had a fever, and listen to her talk.

"I don't get sick…" Halsey deliriously mumbled. "I'm the Doctor, Doctors don't get sick…"

"Not true," Cortana replied, "Remember that time in fifth grade when we got-"

"Doesn't… count." Halsey coughed, her eyes drifting closed. "We were kids… not Doctors…"

"It appears," Jerrod spoke up from the laptop he was connected to nearby, "That Doctor Halsey has been infected with the common cold. A 21st century ailment. Preventable, but once contracted, must be fought off by the body on its own."

Halsey hacked again, muttering. "Blast it… Fred and that damn car… if I die, I want him to know he is solely responsible."

"You won't die," Cortana rolled her eyes, "Drama queen. It's harmless, what you're feeling is your own body's attempts to kill it."

"I've never gotten sick in my life…" Halsey raised a hand, only for a spike of weakness to force it back down. "Not when there was important tasks to be done…"

"Catherine," Cortana rolled her eyes, "We can handle things on our own. Just rest and recuperate."

"Put… put 'Vadum in charge…" She mumbled.

"Really? The alien we just met yesterday?"

"Only thing… resembling adult…"

"Well then, what do you call me?" Cortana crossed her arms.

Halsey popped an eye open. "An impulsive bloody idiot."

"Well, if I'm a younger version of you…" Cortana began.

"Just go…" Halsey muttered. "I'll call if I need something… just tell John I'll be fine. I can feel his hovering from here."

"Yes, mom." Cortana rolled her eyes, walking away.

"And for the love of God, don't drag Rtas into you guys' crazy stupidity!"

"What's the purpose of this… exercise?" The Sangheili pilgrim inquired, packed into the back of the deathtrap known to everyone as Fred's Car, or Fred's Baby, or if they were feeling especially teasing, Fred and Kelly's Baby.

Fred, from his usual position in the driver's seat, turned and looked at Rtas. "You guys don't have joyriding on your world?"

"We do," The Sangheili nodded, "But typically, we don't provoke law enforcement officers into chasing us."

"Yeah, well, I just finished tuning this thing again, and I need to put her through her paces." Fred answered.

Kelly sighed, rubbing her face. "Fred, we were almost caught last time."

"Almost," Fred pointed out, "Being the operative word. If they couldn't catch an almost six-hundred year old car held together with duct tape, dried chewing gum, and hope, then they're definitely not going to catch us now. Besides, these old cars don't have limiter chips, you know."

"I… do not understand." Rtas blinked. "You want them to chase you, but not catch you?"

"Exactly!" Fred snapped his fingers.

The Sangheili let out a boisterous chuckle. "I see! It's just like Speel running! Poke the beast, then let your adrenaline carry you! Your kind is much more like mine than I had expected."

"Don't worry," Kelly muttered, deadpan, "Your good mood will fix itself hanging around Fred long enough."

"And yet," Fred began in return, as they cruised into New Alexandria, "You still hang around me."

"Of course," She retorted, "I'm the only one who tolerates your… malarkey."

"Malarkey?"

"We have a guest, Fred." Kelly practically growled. "I'm trying to save face."

Rtas's mandibles flared as he looked between the two. His brows shot up as he realized something. "Oh, I understand now! She is your mate!" He directed at Fred.

"Whoa!" Fred spluttered, his face going pale. "That's- uh- no- you're way off base!"

The Sangheili blinked, before nodding as he put two and two together. Humanity must've been a matriarchal society. It explained why the Kaidon the Spartans had was female. "Ah, so then he is your mate."

Kelly blinked, her jaw opening and closing, before she got a smile on her face. "Why yes, he is my mate!"

"Kelly!" Fred gasped, mortified.

"Every morning I wake up and think: 'Gee, I can't wait to spend another day with me old mate Fred.'" She deliberately exaggerated her accent, going from received pronunciation to something Cockney-ish.

Fred flipped her the bird, as Rtas nodded in understanding.

He knew it. He could smell the pheromones coming off the two of them.

"Eugh…" Halsey groaned as she got to her feet, coughing.

"Doctor," Jerrod addressed, "I must insist you return to bed. If there is something you require, I can send for one of the Spartans."

"No, Spartans can't do science for me." She replied, her nose stuffy. She brought her arm to open the door, her face twisting in pain as she dropped it just as quickly. "Ow…"

"Perhaps some ibuprofen would be in order, mum?"

Halsey sneezed, looking at the AI. "Did you call me what I think you did?"

"I called you ma'am, ma'am. As always." Jerrod gently replied. It was a dirty, underhanded tactic, mildly gaslighting her like that, but the Doctor was very insistent in her orders about giving herself bed rest. He was still having trouble processing the concept of Cortana being a clone, but he tried, at least. "Perhaps your condition is interfering with your senses?"

"Could be." Halsey flopped back on the bed, having to breathe with her mouth open. "What's our inventory in the medicine cabinets?"

"Toothpaste and isopropyl alcohol, ma'am." Jerrod answered. "If you're thinking about a stiff drink, I would advise against it."

"No, no…" She shook her head, before the door opened, and John came in, looking worried. "John… what's wrong?"

"Nothing," He answered, walking over, "Just came in to check on you."

Halsey's lips twitched slightly as she lay there. Always worrying, like a kid worried about his mother…

"I'm fine." She waved away.

John shook his head. "I seem to be more worried about you than your own daughter."

Halsey cocked an eyebrow curiously. He was never one for passive-aggressiveness. He must've been really worried. "Really, John, it's nothing. Our ancestors caught this sort of thing all the time, and they came out the other side just fine. I just got unlucky."

"But ma'am," He replied, "I've done reading on it. It can turn into pneumonia. Or the cold is a type of coronavirus-"

"John," Halsey asked with a slight bit of humor in her voice, "Did you happen to do this reading right after Cortana said what it was I had?"

"…yes."

"Then you'll be pleased to note that cold only induces pneumonia in those with pre-existing health problems." She explained. "And coronavirus is a subtype of virus, not the designation of it. Trust me, I'm fine." She coughed, before scowling. "But I think after this I'm going to have to look into immunomodification technologies. Perhaps… nanomachines?"

"A specially-engineered microorganism or bacteriophage that could be accepted and incorporated into the human body would likely yield better results, doctor." Jerrod piped up. "I believe you had already considered such an addition to Project ASTER."

"Ah, of course." Halsey nodded in consideration, before turning to John with a smile. "See? I'm sick, but I'm perfectly-" She abruptly turned her head away, sneezing, "Fine. Sorry."

John looked her up and down, still obviously worried. "Are you sure there's nothing I can do for you, ma'am?"

"…bring me some ibuprofen, some Gatorade, and a chicken sandwich." She answered after a moment.

John nodded. "I can get Fred and Kelly to get it while they're out, ma'am. If you need anything else, just tell me."

She looked, watching as John left. Once more, the comparison of a son taking care of his sick mother came to his mind, and Halsey paused, laying back on the bed as that thought began to repeat again, and again, and again.

Damn it all, they were supposed to be soldiers, she couldn't have really caught maternal feelings for them…

Of course, she knew, she already had. Perhaps she should've felt repulsed to herself, or ashamed. She was the reason they'd been stolen away to begin with…

…but she wasn't ashamed. Not one iota.

She'd taught them, kept them fed and clothed, even if it was under the watchful direction of a black ops organization that wanted to make supersoldiers. One could forgive her, if any motherly feelings developed.

Halsey blinked, turning to the laptop housing Jerrod. "Jerrod, compile a message for me. The recipient is Jacob Keyes. Begin dictation…"

"Fred, no, Fred, NO!" Kelly screamed as the car screeched through a roundabout, clutching a bag of food, and a bag from the pharmacy. "Damn it, you're going to make me spill the food!"

"Well hold on to it better then!" He retorted. "Do you want me to stop and get us caught!?"

"No!" She spat. "But it's stupid! You don't have to fly at a hundred miles an hour, just drive and don't stop! They still can't get you!"

"It was your idea to come along, and now you're criticizing me!?"

"When we've got a high-priority delivery, yes!"

"I know it's high-priority, that's why I'm shooting to make it in thirty minutes or less!"

"You're not a pizza boy!"

"Halsey says we can be whatever we want!"

"Does that include stupid!?"

Rtas blinked, still cooped in the back, as he looked between them. "Verbal sparring is also a form of mating ritual in your species, I see."

"If you say that again one more time, I'm going to throw you out and let you get the human experience from the inside of a jail cell!" Fred snapped, as he sent them screeching around the corner.

With a blockade at the end of the road.

"Fred, look out!"

"I see it." He replied.

"It's a blockade!"

"I see it!" He repeated, as his eyes searched the area, seeing a very conveniently-designed building with a very approachable slope, and he got an idea. "You guys ever see the Dukes of Hazzard!?"

"No!" Kelly immediately replied. "Because you and Halsey are the only ones who like 20th century crap!"

"Well, you're about to live in a fantasy of mine!" He retorted as he directed the car to the building at the end of the merging lanes.

"Damn it, out of all the fantasies, it wasn't one of the dirty ones…" Kelly muttered under her breath as the slope approached at breakneck speed.

"By the gods…" Rtas breathed, as the car jolted, before catching air.

"YEEEEEEEEEHAW!" Fred bellowed as Kelly screamed in terror, feeling like the car was going to flip and land on its roof.

However, the mere fact that Rtas was in the back seat, and being the heavy being he was, it actually helped to benefit the car's balancing.

For as long as they were in the air, they remained upright, then landed on all four wheels, perfectly fine.

Fred put them on the road heading out of town, and he looked at Kelly with a smile. "See? Told you they wouldn't catch us."

"God damn…" Kelly breathed out, leaning against the window.

Rtas chuckled, shifting slightly. "I like you humans."