Chapter 2 – Sir MANSLUT
I stood there staring, and my father's grin widened when he saw my dubious look.
"Morning, Dad, what's up?" I finally asked cautiously.
"Wow, you look pretty, Bella. Happy birthday, baby!" he exclaimed loudly.
My birthday? I had to think a second. Wasn't he quite a bit early?
"Dad, my birthday isn't for a couple more weeks." I didn't think I had lost my mind…
"I know, but since today is your first day as a senior, and your last year as a public-school captive, I wanted you to have your present early. Now, close your eyes and hold out your hand." He grinned even wider and waited for me to follow his instructions, so I did as he asked. I heard jingling, and then I felt something cold and small land in my palms. "Okay, open."
I opened my eyes to find a set of keys in my hand. Car keys.
"Dad? You didn't…"
"It's all yours, baby girl. I hope you like it." He stepped aside, and waiting for me at the curb was the biggest, rustiest old dinosaur of a pickup I had ever seen. I was in love.
"Thank you, Daddy! I love it!" I threw my arms around him for a quick hug and then ran out to the curb to find Paul, Colin, Seth, and Ben all in the bed of the truck, with Jake behind the wheel.
Rose was sauntering up the walkway to go find Emmett and sneered at me as she passed. "Glad you like it. It's just you're style. Ghetto."
I was so used to Rosalie's barbs by now it didn't even faze me. I had come to terms with her long ago and figured it would take an act of God to ever get her to like me, and right now, I doubted she was feeling terribly religious.
"Hey, where's Bella? We brought her new truck for her birthday," Jake teased, all the while looking me up and down. I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him, and he just laughed at me. I looked to see the guys in the back leaning over the side and looking at me like they had never seen me before, either. "Ooh, girl, you are lookin' fine this morning!" Jake bellowed.
"Oh, shut up and get over, you big oaf!" I poked him through the window to make him scoot over, so I could drive my new baby.
Edward came running out of the house with my bag I had dropped, handing it to me through the window. "You might need this today…by the way, happy birthday, Bella."
I was shocked. In the five years we had known each other, Edward had just wished me a happy birthday for the first time. He usually said something like, "Yay! You're another year closer to getting out of my face," or my personal favorite, "I don't know what you have to be happy about, since time isn't doing you any favors." I had almost grown to hate my birthdays because he would go out of his way to make me so miserable. He always seemed more withdrawn, mean, and short-tempered then, so I'd learned quickly to avoid him at that time of year.
I sat there, staring at him like he had just sprouted a third head. He looked at me in a way I had never seen before and then turned to head for his car. That was so weird. Emmett came out of the house and waved on his way to his car. James came out behind him and ran out to the truck, smiling at me with a wide, gleaming grin.
"Happy birthday, Bella, you look so hot in that thing. It really suits you. Classic, earthy, but with the promise of some naughty fun," he glanced at the bed of the truck. "Hey, maybe I'll see you at lunch today?"
"Yeah, maybe," I said, and James smiled widely at me, as he headed for his car. Now, I was really confused. I didn't know what else to say. He was a jock, and jocks didn't talk to me. I was a SHAGNIC, and we were only accepted by other SHAGNICs. This day just kept getting weirder.
It took a little getting used to again, but I was soon shifting like a pro. I had actually driven this very truck before. Jake had taught me how to drive a stick last summer in it when my dad and I had gone with him and his dad to visit Jake's grandparents. It had belonged to Jake's grandfather, who could no longer drive, and he'd apparently sold it to my dad for me. I was just grateful not to have to ride the bus or depend on Emmett, Alice, or Edward for rides anymore. Those mornings usually sucked, having to listen to them whining and complaining about having to haul my butt around. Well, no more, I had my own wheels now!
"What's with that douchebag, Fairbanks? You aren't trashy enough for him to be talking to." I looked over at Jake, and his jaw was clenched, as well as his fists, as he glared at James. "That pansy, Edward, had better watch himself, too. What a tool!"
"Jake, he's my brother." I didn't know why I was defending Edward. He'd certainly never done anything to earn the title of brother.
"Brother, right…the way he was looking at you was more like he wanted to-" Jake stopped mid-sentence as we turned the corner, because Vanessa was standing at the curb, hiking her skirt up and wiggling her leg, as if she was trying to entice a ride to stop. A huge smile broke out on his face when he saw her, and he leaned out the window and starting wolf whistling. Angela, Beccah, Summer, and Clarissa were all standing there with her, and they quickly climbed into the back with the guys, while Vanessa slipped into the front between me and Jake.
"Is that how you get to school every morning, Vanessa?" I laughed, as we headed on our way.
"No, but I heard about your surprise birthday present being delivered this morning, and I knew you came this way, so we all wanted to be in on your maiden voyage and wish you an early happy birthday," she giggled, as she started playing with the ancient radio dials. "So, what are you going to name it?"
"Name what?" I asked, confused.
"The truck, of course! A classic beauty such as this needs a name, maybe even a title." I thought about what she said, and she was right. Such perfection should be honored properly. We pulled into the parking lot of the high school, and everyone climbed out. I stood there, staring at my truck, and the name just came to me.
"Everyone, gather around." All the SHAGNICs turned to hear my proclamation. "Thank you all for joining me on the maiden voyage of this, my first day with my newest best friend," I said solemnly, as I patted the rusty hood. "Vanessa has brought it to my attention that such greatness needs recognition; a name by which it'll be known and revered, a title worthy of the longevity and faithful service which it's already achieved, and hopefully will continue to perform, and that name is…his highness, Sir MANSLUT."
"Man slut? Really, Bella?" Jake asked with an incredulous grin on his face. "What, do you expect the awesomeness of this truck to compensate for a guy in your life?"
Oh, no he didn't…
"Do you really think it'd work, Jake?" I totally played it up by rubbing my hands up and down my body, through my hair, and over my arms, as I gave him a searing look from under my lashes, all while channeling Meg Ryan from When Harry Met Sally. Vanessa knew my antics well enough to know I was totally messing with Jake's mind, but the looks on his and all the other guys' faces were priceless. I moaned loudly and closed my eyes, lolling my head back even more suggestively, as I continued my act. "Yes, I think I'm going to really, really like this truck, then. I'm going to want to grip that gear shaft all the way here every day." I ground my voice on the words "grip" and "shaft" for emphasis. I was cackling internally and figured by now they were all probably looking at me like I was insane.
What I didn't realize was that I had more of an audience than I'd imagined. When I opened my eyes, not only were all the SHAGNICs staring at me, but Edward, Emmett, and James were looking at me slack-jawed for the second time this morning, and so was about a third of the school's population and several teachers. I'd guess I was a little louder than I'd thought.
"Well, Jake, will it?" I asked sweetly, batting my eyelashes at him. That broke the spell, and my extraneous audience dispersed. Emmett walked ahead, but James turned around and started heading back towards me, looking at me like he was thirsty, and I was a cold soda. However, Edward caught his arm and dragged him along, not letting James come near me. Edward glanced back at me, and I saw that look again from earlier. I looked over at Jake, and he was glaring.
"He's starting to tick me off," Jake growled.
"Who, James?" I was confused.
"No, Masen. I've seen that look before, and he has no business flashing it towards you."
"Don't worry about it, Jake. It's just Edward. Okay, everybody, back to the truck name. MANSLUT stands for 'My Awesomely Nasty, Sexy-Looking Ugly Truck,' you know, MANSLUT! It's perfect!"
Everyone was looking at me confused, but they began smiling and nodding, as the acronym sank in.
"You're right, it's perfect," Vanessa laughed. "Okay, his highness, Sir MANSLUT, it is!"
We all made it into the building and stopped by our homerooms to pick up our schedules, and then we headed off to our first-period classes. Tales of my parking lot performance were obviously spreading like wildfire, as whispers and giggles swirled around me all morning. By lunchtime, I was fairly certain the whole school had heard about it, given the looks I was getting. I guessed good first-day gossip had been hard to come by today.
I paid for my food and found our usual table, where everyone had already congregated and had begun eating and talking. Vanessa jumped up and wrapped her arm around my waist. "Hey, everybody, here she is, Stanford High School's newest Hollywood-bound diva!" She shoved her corndog in my face like a microphone. "Tell us, Ms. Swan, what was your muse in the infamous parking lot audition for your upcoming unrated film, Drive Shaft?"
I couldn't resist the mischief in her eyes and decided if everyone wanted to talk, I'd give them something more to talk about than just gossip. I put on my best bored actress face, took the corndog from her hand, and played along, laughing at myself internally; because never in a million years would I have ever done something like this before. I was tired of hiding and being a mouse. It was high time I learned to shine when shoved in front of the spotlight.
"Thank you, thank you. As you all undoubtedly heard from the grapevine, my foray into acting was a recent decision. I've decided my prior career aspirations as a speech pathologist just wouldn't showcase my greatness to the world. Besides, there are other more interesting things I can do with my vast oral talents."
I plunged the end of the corndog into the gravy cup that came with my chicken strips with a flourish and licked it off before sticking the corndog in my mouth, and then I dramatically bit off the end of it. I daintily handed the bitten corndog back to a gap-mouthed Vanessa with a sweet smile, and then I sat down and picked up my water bottle for a long drink. The slow swell of applause that began at the jock's table broke the silence that had fallen over the cafeteria. James was standing on his chair, clapping louder than any of them and whistling.
I noticed, though, that the look on Edward's face as he stared down at the table was one of absolute confusion, and maybe a little anger, though whether it was at me or someone else, I wasn't certain.