Chapter 19 – Bonding
I was woken up the next morning by Esryl climbing into bed with Edward and me. Edward was snuggled up against my side, sound asleep. She had brought her ragdoll with her up on the bed, hopping right into the middle of Edward's ribs, demanding hugs and kisses. I joined them, and we spent half an hour just cuddling and tickling each other.
We finally got dressed and made it into the kitchen, finding everyone else already around the table, eating leftover party food and birthday cake for breakfast. I got Esryl into her highchair and made her a plate, while Edward poured juice for us. He brought Esryl a cup and kissed my cheek before sitting down at the table. Everyone was watching us, but it was Emmett who finally spoke.
"So, where did you two end up last night?" he asked before shoving a huge forkful of cake into his mouth. Edward wrapped his arms around me, and I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder. Emmett dropped his fork and buried his face in his hands. "Dude, I don't want to know. She still registers in my brain as my sister, so thoughts of you two doing anything other than fighting still makes my brain hurt," Emmett whined.
"Don't worry, Emmett, nothing happened, so your cerebrum is safe," I assured, but I felt Edward shaking, trying to keep from bursting out laughing.
"Well, almost nothing," he muttered under his breath, but Emmett heard him.
"The pain!" he wailed, and Rosalie grinned at us, shaking her head.
"Oh hush, we were just kissing, you dork," I giggled.
"Well, we found these two wrestling around on the basement floor and laughing like freaking hyenas this morning," Rose giggled and pointed toward Alice and Jasper. They both blushed, and Alice stuck out her tongue at Rose before having it captured by Jasper in a searing kiss.
"You do realize she's still in high school, and you're twenty-one now and in college in another state, right?" Edward asked Jasper. I elbowed Edward when Alice looked up, her eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears. He looked at me, shrugging. "Just saying. She's my sister, and I don't want her hurt by him and crying when he goes back to Texas to whatever girls he has lined up down there and leaves her here holding a torch and nursing a broken heart again," Edward said seriously. Alice sprang up and dove into my arms crying. Jasper looked confused, and angry.
"For one," Jasper started hotly, "I didn't leave any girlfriends behind in Texas. I've been too busy with college for any kind of social life." He stood up and took Alice from me into his arms, and she wrapped herself around him. "Besides, I think my heart always knew Alice was mine, and she was here waiting for me. My brain was just too focused on my studies to notice the signals my heart was sending it, until I realized she could be stolen away from me," he smiled down at her. "You know, that could explain why I have all the pictures of you all over my place back in Texas that Rose has sent me over the years since I left. I'm an idiot for not realizing it sooner," he said, kissing her sweetly. Then, he looked up at me and sighed, rubbing his hand down his face.
"I know this is way too late in coming, but I'm so sorry, Bella. I've been a complete jerk to you for as long as we've known each other, and I want to apologize, though I wouldn't blame you if you didn't accept it. I have no good excuse, really, other than childish stupidity and jealousy. You had both of your birth parents, plus a great stepdad and my mom, who all love you, plus Carlisle and Esme, who treat you like royalty. I hardly ever got to see my real dad until I moved to Texas, and we never had any other family around besides my grandma, who I only saw on holidays. I think maybe we all were jealous of you for that and took it out on you by being mean. I was so wrong to do that, we all were, but I hope you'll let me start over by saying how sorry I am, and that I promise I won't be that way towards you anymore."
He extended his hand, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, and I took it and pulled him and Alice into a hug with Edward and me. Again, I had every right to despise him and hold a grudge, just like with the rest, but I just couldn't do that. Besides, love was so much more productive.
"GROUP HUG!" Emmett shouted and grabbed Rosalie, pulling us all together into a mass of hugs and kisses. I couldn't help it. I burst out crying. I finally had the love from them I had always wanted.
"I was afraid you guys would all hate me forever," I sniffled. "I never understood what I did to make you all be so awful to me. I'm glad we're all getting past that, though, and finally growing up. This is so much better. I really do love you guys."
We all finished breakfast and decided to go out and do some early Christmas shopping. Jasper had to head back to Texas tomorrow and wanted to get his parents' gifts before leaving, so Rose could wrap them up for him.
Mom finally had a day at home, but she was looking fairly worse for wear when she came out to find something for breakfast. Elliott also had a rare day off and wandered in behind her, looking like the living dead. They had come back from Sue and dad's last night after the party, and mom wasn't feeling well. The baby had gone on a sudden growth spurt and was getting quite large, and she had seemed to expand overnight, making her extremely tired and her movements somewhat cumbersome.
Elliott wasn't fairing much better. He had been working as much as sixteen hours a day, sometimes seven days a week, for months now, and it was taking a brutal toll on him. I had planned to leave Esryl home with them today, but I thought better of it, as I watched mom put the milk in the pantry before they went back to bed. I realized there was no way they were coherent enough to keep up with a feisty two-year-old, as I rescued the milk and returned it to the refrigerator before going to get Esryl ready to take with us.
We borrowed Elliott's large SUV and hit the mall just as it opened. With all the Christmas shoppers there, it was chaos. I had the pictures Edward and I had taken with Esryl after Halloween and took them into a framing shop to have them framed and gift wrapped. As I was pulling them out to decide which ones to frame, Alice and Rose came up behind me, looking over my shoulders at the portraits.
"Oh, my gosh, these are beautiful!" Alice gasped. "When did you guys do this?" she asked, as she shuffled through the different shots.
"We got them done the day after the Halloween party fiasco, while we were replacing everything," I said, sorting the pictures on the counter. Rose picked up the one of just Edward and me and smiled.
"I think he's in love with you, Bella. Look at his eyes here. I see those same eyes when Emmett looks at me," she said, bumping her shoulder to mine. "Those Masen boys are something, huh? I know I love mine more than anything in this world."
She had the sweetest, most tender look on her face when she spoke of Emmett. "He loves you, too, just as much. And I'm pretty sure I love Edward, too. We haven't really defined or confessed anything yet, though. Things are still so new for us, and we're really just becoming a couple, but every time he touches me, I feel like I've been struck by lightning or something. I just can't get enough of that feeling," I confessed sincerely.
"I feel that way when Emmett touches me, too. It's weird, but a good weird," she agreed. Alice was quiet, but the grin on her face said that she knew what we were talking about. Rose winked at me, and then she cleared her throat.
"So, Alice, what were you and my brother doing that was so funny to have you both laughing like that?" Rosalie asked, and Alice shot me a look before tilting her head, acting nonchalant.
"Oh, just, you know, discussing how when some people lay down together, they look like they're asleep, but really, they're both wide awake in the dark. It's amazing what you can still hear and see by the light of a dim TV screen," she said, batting her eyes at me. I turned bright red.
"Oh? Do tell. What can you see under those circumstances?" Rose asked knowingly, as I buried my face in my hands.
"Well, I am a little traumatized, I have to confess. I mean, it did involve my brother, and there are some things you just don't want to see a sibling doing," she smirked, and Rose grinned accusingly at me.
"Bella Swan, were you and Edward engaging in questionable activities under the impression of a comatose audience last night?" she teased. "Fornicating in the presence of your siblings?" she gasped in mock horror. "Oh, this is too good. Okay, never, ever, do I want to hear you or Edward make another snide comment about Emmett and me and our amorous activities. You two are just as bad, only being sneaky is worse! At least Emmett and I are straight up about what we do. You two just need to get it out there now and enjoy each other. Everybody knows, anyway," she laughed. "You guys have been eye snogging each other for months."
"Seriously, we were only kissing, Rose. Edward and I weren't kidding that day when we said we're virgins. We talked about it for a long time the other night, and we both want to wait until marriage, so we're going to stay that way for the foreseeable future. But Emmett seems so upset by the idea of us being together," I said quietly. "I don't want things to be weird for us. He's my big brother, and I want him happy, too."
"Oh, he's fine with it, really. Emmett only protests to be Emmett and give you guys a hard time. He's really happy for you two."
I was relieved to hear that. I really didn't want Emmett to be mad about us being together. "I'm glad he's okay with it. Our parents are, too, actually."
"That's good. I noticed you two have been sharing sheets, though. Isn't that difficult? Are Elliott and Renee okay with that, too?" Rose asked curiously.
"We're not doing anything, Rose. And yes, the feelings are there, but we're keeping them in check. Mom and Elliott have pretty liberal views on things, so as long as we're being responsible, they won't say a word. Besides, they'd have to be home long enough for that," I sighed.
Alice picked up one of the pictures of the three of us and then started jumping up and down.
"We should do this again, but with all seven of us!" Alice squealed. "We could give these to everybody for Christmas. Maybe we could even order some Christmas cards made from them," she said with a huge grin, and Rose and I agreed that it would be a great gift idea for all our families. I quickly placed my framing order, and then we took off to find the guys.
Two hours, dozens of photos, and a cranky Esryl later, we declared it lunchtime. I sat down with Esryl, while everyone else went up to get food. Edward came back, setting a plate in front of me, before sitting down with his own. Esryl was cuddled into my arms, her head against my chest. She was sleepy, but also very hungry, so I slipped a napkin under her face and fed her, while she rested against me, her eyes closed while she chewed.
"That's about the cutest thing I've ever seen," Emmett grinned, as I spooned another bite of mashed potatoes into Esryl's mouth. "If I hadn't been there when Renee was pregnant with her and all, l'd swear she was yours and Edward's," he said, as we switched positions, me placing another napkin on Edward's chest before handing Esryl to him, so he could finish feeding her while I ate.
"I know, right?" Alice agreed. "Plus, she's still so small. Has her pediatrician said anything about that? I noticed she's still only wearing infant-sized clothes, and she's almost three. Aren't they worried about her not growing?"
"According to her pediatrician, she's just going to be very tiny like you, maybe even smaller," I said, smiling as Edward slipped another spoonful of food into Esryl's mouth. "Her motor skills are actually advanced for her age, and her cognitive abilities are extremely high. She's just a very bright little girl in a very tiny package." I smiled softly, seeing she was sound asleep, as Edward wiped her face and hands. The guys wanted to go look in the music store, so they left us to finish our lunch before we went back to shopping. I grabbed Esryl's blanket, and Edward handed her back to me and then reclined the stroller into carriage position before he took off after Emmett and Jasper.
I wrapped her up and laid her down in the stroller, my heart warming when she muttered, "Mommy," and pulled her fingers into her mouth. She truly was a perfect little doll.
"You look at her like she's the center of your whole world," Rose smiled when she saw my expression. "What are you going to do when it comes time for college?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said honestly, "but I don't plan on going far away to school. I'll probably live at home for a few years until she's much older and doesn't need me so much, maybe attend community college during the day while she's in daycare, so I can be at home with her and our new brother at night. I know my mom. The minute she's able, she'll be right back to her job. She needs whatever it is that she gets from working in order to be happy. I honestly don't ever see her being content with staying at home. It's just not her thing."
Alice nodded. "That just seems so selfish of her. Don't get me wrong, I love your mom a lot, but I honestly wonder sometimes why she wasn't more careful and avoided having more kids. They both work too much, and it's as if they had Esryl just for you to have to take care of her, Bella. I like babies and all, but it's going to be a very long time before I'm going to even want to think about taking on that kind of responsibility. I want to be able to be young and free for as long as possible. I want to graduate, get my career going full force, have a great home, and have been married long enough for the honeymoon stage to be over before tying myself down as a mother," Alice said.
Rose nodded enthusiastically in agreement. "That sounds like a good plan. By the way, before I came over last night to help you guys get ready for the party, Renee and my mom were talking, and I overheard part of their conversation. Did you know they were planning on making you sole guardian of Esryl and the new baby?" Rose asked, and I shook my head no. It made sense, though, in a way. I was the only one besides Edward who Esryl would consistently allow to care for her without a fight.
"I think she and Elliott were planning on having a family meeting soon and telling you, so act surprised," Rose laughed. "Actually, I'm glad it's you and not one of us, or even all of us. I love Esryl, and I'll love your new baby brother, but I'm not keen on the idea of imposed motherhood," she said with a scowl.
"Well, I think as far as Esryl's concerned, Bella already is her mommy," Alice said, grinning down at a sleeping Esryl. "But why not Esme and Carlisle? I know she only lets you do stuff for her, Bella, but you've got college coming up. You don't need the responsibility, either. You've got your own life to live. I know you love them, but what about your future?" Alice asked, concerned.
"I've thought long and hard about that, Alice, and I'm fully aware that they're not my children and not my responsibility. But unless they're happy and well cared for, I know I won't be happy either. I think my mom and Elliott know that as well. I don't know why they weren't careful to avoid having more kids, but they're here now, and I love them unconditionally. Esryl really is like mine. If I can't be with her, taking care of her and watching her grow, then nothing else matters to me. I realize she's only my sister, but our bond goes so much deeper than that. I have a feeling it will with Ethan, too. Maybe it's my own fault for stepping in and starting the precedent of taking over Esryl's care early on, and mom's for allowing it, but it's been my salvation of sorts I guess you could say. I needed her unconditional love so much."
"Ethan? Is that the name they've picked for the baby?" Rose asked.
I shook my head no. "Ethan is the name Edward and I picked for him. Ethan Andrew Masen. That name would give him the same initials as his brothers, Edward Anthony and Emmett Aiden. Mom and Elliott have been so busy with work that I doubt they've even had time to consider a name."
"I like it," Alice nodded. "He's going to be one lucky kid. The nursery you and Edward picked out for him is adorable, and I noticed Edward sneaking in a bag from a toy store the other day. It was full of little sporting equipment. I think he's planning on making the kid a jock, just like him and Emmett," she giggled. I hadn't seen this purchase, so I would have to tease him about it later.
"Speaking of buying things for the baby, has anyone thought about a baby shower for your mom?" Rose asked.
"That reminds me, Sue and Esme are actually working on a surprise shower for her. They need some kind of diversion to get her out of the house." I thought about it a moment and then had an idea. "Hey, you remember those dance lessons you gave me for my birthday, Alice? Why don't we set those up for next Saturday morning, and then we can take my mom to lunch and shopping afterwards, while Sue and Esme head back to the house to set up the shower?" They both agreed, so I called Esme and Sue and confirmed it with them as well.
"You girls ready to get your dance on and watch my pregnant mom grind on Sue and Esme?" I smirked. Both girls groaned, with pained looks on their faces. That right there was why I couldn't wait.