Chapter 25 – Not-So-Happy Holidays
Cooking for Thanksgiving was a somber affair, unlike last year. Emmett had learned so much in his culinary arts program, and we were making a beautiful meal, but between missing our parents and Edward's conspicuous absence, both of us were pretty much quiet as we worked. This year, it was all our remaining family minus Edward, and Jasper's family, including all his and Chelsea's grandparents. Emmett seemed to have a lot on his mind, too, so I think we were both okay with the quiet. Esme, Helene and our siblings were taking turns in the kitchen helping as well, and they, too, were less talkative than I was used to.
The whole atmosphere around dinner was somewhat subdued as well, which was understandable given we were missing five people who should have been here. However, there seemed to be an undercurrent of excitement. Once everyone had finished eating and cleaning up, the grandparents all headed for the Whitlock's house, and Jasper asked the rest of us to come with him down the street to his and Alice's house. I had noticed in the past two days that the ground of the lot Jasper had bought next door to his was being cleared and graded, and there were now marker flags for utilities and a grid for a house foundation laid out there. He was grinning widely, and Alice was bouncing next to him. I was confused as to why he would be building another house, since he and Alice seemed happy in my dad and Sue's house.
"Okay, everyone, there's some awesome things happening, and it was just easier to announce it with us all together. First, Rose and Emmett, I think it's time you came clean," Jasper said with a raised brow.
Rose and Emmett looked sheepishly at each other before turning to all of us. "Um, well…okay, Rose and I went to the courthouse yesterday and got married," Emmett blurted out.
At the same time, Rose said, "We're expecting."
"What? I thought you two were being careful?" I asked, shocked. "What about school? Why didn't you tell us? What about your dream wedding, Rose?"
"One question at a time," Emmett held his hands up. "Okay, we were being careful, but Rose has been crazy busy with classes and forgot a few pills," he rolled his eyes, and Rose jabbed him in the side. "It's a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. You guys know how much we love each other and have for a very long time, so we decided to go ahead and just get married. Without our parents here to share it with us, neither one of us was in the mindset for a whole bunch of fanfare, so we just went and did it."
Rose smiled at him and nodded. "As for school, we're both going to keep going. I'll go for as long as I can, and then I'll probably take a semester or two off when the baby comes and do online classes. One thing I've learned is there's no such thing as the perfect time to have kids, but life is too short not to see it as a blessing," she said, wiping away tears. Emmett wrapped her in his arms, kissing her forehead. "And we hadn't told anyone yet because we didn't want anyone feeling obligated to throw us a party. Just love us, guys, that's all we need," she said. I'd never thought I would ever see the day when Rosalie Hale, apparently now Masen, didn't want anything elaborate. I'd guess she really had grown up.
"Seeing as how Bella has her hands full with Esryl and Ethan, adding another baby to her household would most likely bring about the demise of her sanity, so now seemed like a good time to do this," Esme and Carlisle smiled widely. Peter walked over next to me, taking Ethan from my arms, so I could pick up Esryl to keep her out of the freshly turned dirt.
"We all wanted to give you guys your wedding gift sooner rather than later, so Rose and Emmett, congratulations, and in about six months, you'll have not only a new baby, but a new home of your own," Carlisle smiled, holding Evan on one hip and Ella on the other, so Esme could show them the floor plan that was going to be built for them.
"We couldn't contribute much towards the house, but we're going to help you with furniture and stuff," Gerald announced, and Helene nodded. Rose hugged them both tightly. She had gotten very close to them, and they treated her as a daughter as much as they did Jasper as a son.
"And we're all going to be babysitting. When the baby comes, we want to help you two, so you can both finish your education. We know your parents would've wanted that more than anything," Helene smiled, hugging a teary-eyed Rose again.
"This is amazing," Rose smiled widely, rubbing her still-flat tummy. "I can't wait. Thank you all so much!"
"Wow, I guess I'm the last one to know. Well, congratulations, guys. I wouldn't have minded another baby, but I'm not going to lie. I'll be happy not to have to listen to you two during the night anymore," I chuckled, trying to hide my emotions. I really was happy for them, but jealousy and confusion were coursing through me, and I had to fight hard not to show what I was feeling.
"Well, now that their cat is out of the bag, Alice and I have an announcement as well," Jasper grinned, taking Alice's hand. "I've asked Alice to marry me, and she's said yes. We're getting married New Years' Eve, while everyone is home from college. We're only having a small ceremony, like Rose and Emmett did, and Emmett has agreed to make a wedding cake and dinner for us, so we can have a little reception at home with just family and our closest friends. It'll be for them and for us. I hope you all are okay with us doing it this way. It just seemed…the best way."
"You're all so young still," Esme sighed, "but I think this past year has matured all of you enough to help you know what's important and how to work together to find happiness. We're thrilled for you, and it sounds wonderful, kids. I'm sure your parents will be there in spirit, and besides, the size of the wedding doesn't really matter, it's the amount of love you're surrounded by that makes it grand," Esme said, hugging and kissing them all. "If you'd like, Alice, I still have Elizabeth Anne's wedding gown. She let me borrow it when Carlisle and I got married. Neither one of us was much bigger than you are now," she laughed. "Altering it one more time shouldn't be difficult."
Everyone was heading over to Esme and Carlisle's house to help them put up their Christmas decorations and talk about wedding stuff, and they asked me to come, too, but I made the excuse of it being naptime, so I could take the kids and head back home before I broke out in tears.
I held it together until I got the kids down for a nap, and then I went into my bathroom and shut the door, running a bubble bath. I climbed into the huge tub and sat there, staring at the wall, before I finally lost it.
Hot, angry tears ran down my face, as I picked up the body wash bottle, hurling it with all my might across the bathroom, breaking it against the tile. Purple streaks ran down the wall from where it had hit, as I had a meltdown of epic proportions, sloshing sudsy water violently over the side of the tub, while I threw anything else I could get my hands on. The only reason I wasn't screaming the whole time was because I didn't want to wake Esryl and Ethan. I sobbed, though…wracking, shuddering sobs, the likes of which I hadn't even allowed myself when my parents had died.
It was all just too much. Edward had said he didn't think he could leave, that he was too attached, but I hadn't had to twist his arm too hard to convince him to go to New York, so he obviously hadn't been that attached. But I had insisted, almost shoved him out the door, so maybe it was my fault he'd left me behind. I was angry at myself for letting him leave me behind, and even angrier that I had spent years allowing everyone to get away with putting me last, just so they wouldn't hate me. I had forgiven everyone, but my heart hadn't forgotten anything, apparently.
Everything else hit me, too. Losing the people I'd loved most in the world, all the worry, responsibility, and expectations that had been heaped on my shoulders all these years. So many years of being pushed aside, my needs and feelings being disregarded so often, feeling like I was the most hated person to ever exist. Everyone else around me going off to school or getting married, living their happy, normal lives with each other's help and unconditional support.
Meanwhile, I was stuck here, alone, with two small children, both of whom I loved beyond reason, but were not really mine. I couldn't even go to college right now if I'd wanted to, because I couldn't leave Esryl with anyone else without her having a meltdown and risking more trauma to her. Since Edward had left, she had been freaking out even worse every time she couldn't see me for more than a minute. Both kids were still very clingy and demanding of my attention right now, so there was no way I could possibly concentrate or study. The only one who could have really helped me with that was Edward, since they had grown to trust him almost as much as me, but he wasn't here.
Then, there was Edward spending what was supposed to be a family holiday with that whore, Tanya Denali, and not coming home like he'd promised, to help me and hold me and let me know he still cared. The declarations he had made to me sat like boulders on my chest now, heavy like the blackest of lies, and it all hit me hard, so much so that I just gave up. I'd reached my breaking point. I dunked my face under the water and screamed, before I slipped completely beneath the surface. I contemplated going and getting my mom's old bottle of prescription sleeping pills and downing them, then just slipping back under the water and staying there. However, as my oxygen ran out, images of Esryl and Ethan's faces flooded my mind, and I came up gasping, sloshing more water out of the tub.
I sat there bawling for a long time with my arms wrapped around my legs, until I realized the kids would be up soon, the water had grown cold, and I was shivering. I was completely spent, and I needed a nap myself, and maybe a hug, but I wasn't sure where I would get one of those right now without giving away what I'd just gone through. I'd had enough of a pity party on my own without inviting anyone else to the festivities, and so I told myself to stop being a drama queen, get out of the tub, and to get over myself.
I cleaned up the wet and broken mess I'd made, because no one else was going to do it, and then I got myself dressed in some pajamas. I was about to climb into bed when the doorbell rang. I made my way to the door and answered it to find Peter standing there.
"Hey, sorry to bother you, I just…you were smiling earlier, but something seemed off…and your eyes are all red now. Are you okay?"
"Peachy," was all I could manage, as I led him inside to the couch.
"Doubtful," he said in return and pulled me into his arms. "What's going on, Bella?"
"Nothing…everything...I really just wish..." I tried to explain what I was feeling, but I couldn't. "It's nothing I can do anything about, so there's no need to dwell on it," I sighed.
"You don't have to put on a brave face for me, girl. I can see you're struggling, and I'm here if you need me. I know your plate is overflowing, and it's crazy unfair the hand you've been dealt. I know you miss Edward, too, but he's an idiot, you know that, right? If you were mine, I'd move heaven and earth to get home to you. Hell, I wouldn't have been able to leave you in the first place," he said into my hair. "You deserve better than that."
"Thanks, Pete," I hugged him again before leaning back and lifting Honey into my lap. "You're an amazing friend. I needed to get out of my head, so talking like this is nice."
"Anytime, Bella, just whistle for me, and I'll come running," he smiled at me. "So, I have a favor to ask, but I'm afraid this might be bad timing…"
"And what would that favor be?"
"Are you sure you're up to hearing it?"
"Just tell me, it might help distract me," I offered, playing with Honey's long ears.
"Okay, you asked for it. Well, in case you didn't know, you're legendary as the event planning queen at Stanford High. The Christmas benefit we're doing to raise money to help the homeless this winter could use your expertise. Are you game?"
He had been there for me so much as of late, I couldn't deny him. I smiled at him and nodded. "Sure, I'll help. So, what's the theme for this thing?"
"It's a winter wonderland carnival," he rolled his eyes. "They tried to get me to sit in the dunking booth, but I told them they could kiss my warm, dry, well-covered butt."
"Seriously, they're doing a dunking booth in December? What the heck are they thinking?"
"Don't ask me, one of the girls in my class came up with it. It sounded kind of lame to me, but then, all the events we've done so far have been. I really don't think Mr. Anderson's heart has been in it this year for some reason. He seems depressed, and he's actually lost a chunk of weight since school started."
That didn't sound good, and it had me worried for Adam. "I'll help, and a carnival sounds like fun. But you're not getting me in that dunking booth, either."
"I'll protect you from the evil water goblins, fair Bella," Peter struck a heroic pose, which made me giggle.
"Thanks, Pete, I needed a good laugh."
"Why are you laughing? I'm being serious here! Charlotte Walker suggested I be the dunking boy, the evil wench. She's trying to get me to wear a Speedo and be dunked repeatedly into icy cold water. I'd swear the girl has it in for me given the way she looked at me when she suggested I wear that mankini," he shook his head and shuddered. "She might be a blonde-haired, blue-eyed goddess, but she's kin to the devil, I'm telling you!"
"Are you sure she's not just trying to get a better look at the goods because maybe she likes you?" I suggested, and he looked at me like I had a third head.
"I can't imagine that being true. Yeah, she's amazingly beautiful, and I wouldn't mind needing to wash my car, if I had one, to take her out, but I don't think…do you think?" He was adorably clueless.
"Yeah, I think," I smirked, and after he thought about it for a few moments, he smiled widely.
"Hmm, well, that's…thanks, Bella. Hey, if I asked her…do you think I could borrow your truck to take her out?"
"You'd actually be okay taking Sir MANSLUT out on a date? I thought I was the only one who appreciated my beast. You could borrow my mom's car if you'd prefer. My truck has just been sitting in the garage since Ethan was born, so it's probably dusty and needs cleaning, not that you'd be able to tell the difference."
"Nah, I'd rather drive the truck, it's a classic, and it just has one bench seat and no center console. There's lots of potential in that," he waggled his brows. "Besides, I love driving stick. It makes me look manly," he jutted out his chest, posing again and making me laugh.
"Keep it clean in my truck and you can borrow it, but you have to promise to take good care of it. It's really special to me," I sighed, fighting tears, thinking of my dad and how happy he had been to give me my birthday present last fall. I missed him, all of them, so much.
Peter grabbed my hand and pulled me into another hug. "I know, Bella, and I promise, I'll remember where it came from and treat it accordingly," he said into my hair, and I nodded.
"Thanks, Pete," I muttered. "I don't know what I'd do without you some days."
"Like I said, Bella, anytime, all you have to do is whistle."
In the days leading up to the winter carnival, Rosalie and Emmett were both scrambling to get through their first semester of college, and I was seeing even less of them than I had been before. So, as usual, everything around the house that needed doing fell on me. I drew the line at cleaning their room or doing their laundry, though. I just insisted they keep their door shut, so I didn't have to see it.
I'd had Peter's Performing Arts group to the house several times to plan and help organize the carnival, and they'd gladly helped me decorate for Christmas, for which I was grateful. At first, I'd thought Charlotte Walker was going to shank me in my own house, given the visual daggers she'd thrown at me…that was until she figured out that Peter and I were just friends, or more like siblings, and we were not involved. She settled down then and actually proved to be a nice girl. I'd figured correctly that she liked Peter, and the two of them had finally gone out on a couple of dates. He was over the moon happy, and I was happy for him. I was glad one of us had a good relationship status, at least.
I hadn't heard anything else from Edward since the phone call before Thanksgiving, but Emmett told me that he had talked to him, and Edward was coming back to Portland over the winter break for Ethan's first birthday party, Christmas, and Jasper and Alice's wedding. He hadn't said anything about coming home to see me. I hadn't asked what day he was coming in or when, and at the time, I didn't particularly care. I was angry and hurt with the way he had been acting, and so I'd buried myself in helping Peter's class.
I had gone to the school a couple of times to help figure out how to set things up, but I had managed to miss seeing Mr. Anderson. I had seen Coach Mitchell, though, and he'd come over to say hello and asked me how Edward was doing. When I'd told him I didn't know, and that Edward was away at college in New York, he'd asked for my phone number and a date. I'd politely declined, saying I was too busy tending to my siblings to go out, which was true. He was a very handsome man, and I remembered what he'd said about me to Mr. Anderson, but I really couldn't go out for hours with two kids who flipped out if they lost sight of me. And even without considering them, I simply wasn't interested.
On the Saturday the carnival was being held, it was bitterly frigid and snowy, and cold and flu season was in full swing. Esryl and Ethan had been doing a bit better with the clinginess, so I was going to chance leaving them for a few hours today, fully expecting to be called home once they realized I was gone. I had planned to leave them with Esme and Carlisle, but the twins both had colds, so Helene offered to watch them for me. They loved her when we visited them, so with fingers crossed, I dropped the kids off to her at their house, picking up Peter and Chelsea in the process.
Peter had managed to talk his sister into helping with the games as a floater, much to her chagrin. She was finished with her semester at PSU and home for the break, and she had made him swear to be her Christmas shopping pack mule as repayment for her time and aggravation today. I loved her way of thinking and decided I should go shopping with them, with the kids in tow, so he could help me, too, in exchange for my service. He pretended to protest, but then he shot me a wink and a sly smile to let me know he didn't mind. He was just sweet like that.
We walked into the gym, and I couldn't believe they had actually gone ahead and sat up that stupid dunk tank. They had gotten Mrs. Grady, the girls' athletic coach, to agree to be the dunk subject, so Peter was spared. I couldn't help laughing when she came out in a diver's wetsuit. The lady was smart. At least she wouldn't freeze as badly as someone else might have.
"Bella, we need you over here," I heard Charlotte call from across the gym. I started to walk over to where they were, but then I threw my hands up and began backing away.
"No, no, no, no, no! I'm not doing that. I'll do just about anything else but that!" I stated, refusing to step into the kissing booth.
"But Bella, Carla had to cancel! She's home with a cold, and no one else will do it. Please, please, please! We need someone who people will actually want to kiss in here!" she begged.
"I can't afford to get a cold or anything either, Charlotte!"
"You won't be kissing every guy on the mouth, see?" she said, pointing to a sign on the front of the booth, and I saw there was actually a list of prices that were dependent on the type of kiss received. For them to kiss my cheek, the cost was a dollar. For me to kiss both of theirs with a hug was five dollars, and if they wanted to kiss my lips, hug me, and get hugged in return, it went up to ten dollars. Seriously?
"Hey, it'll weed out all the cheapskate droolers I go to school with. The only ones who'll likely go for the big smacks are the dads with money, and they'll be too whipped by their wives to actually try to slip you the tongue, so you're safe. See, I thought this out!" she declared proudly.
After five more minutes of begging and promises to come and bring me soup and babysit for free if someone got me sick, I relented. Somehow, I knew I was going to regret this. The carnival started at one o'clock and ran until six, so I had five hours of germ exposure to look forward to. Great.
Charlotte had been correct, and most of the guys I'd kissed were the one and five-dollar variety. A few of the dads were feeling generous and paid the ten dollars, and I was glad no one had tried to molest me with their tongue or had any obvious illnesses I would have to worry about. That was until Coach Mitchell came to the booth. He slapped a ten down and looked at me expectantly, grinning in a way that made me lean back. He reached for me and pulled me into his arms, planting a huge wet kiss on my lips. The second I felt his tongue, though, I squirmed away from him.
"I'd rather not do that," I said, wiping my mouth.
"Eh, your loss, cutie," he waggled his brows at me. Gross.
We had reached the end of the carnival, and I really had to pee, but I turned to help Charlotte and Chelsea start taking down the booths, when I heard a voice clearing behind me. There was a twenty-dollar bill lying on the table, and Mr. Anderson was standing there, looking hopefully at me. "Hey, Bella, you look beautiful. How have you been?" he asked quietly.
"Good, Adam, I'm doing okay. How about you? You look good, too." I almost said he looked too thin, but I didn't want to make him feel bad.
"I'm hanging in there. So, are you closed already? I saved my last twenty just for your booth," he tried to laugh, but it sounded forced.
"Um, sure, do you need change?" I asked, hoping he'd want nineteen dollars back.
"No, I'll take two ten-dollar kisses, please," he smiled.
"Adam, I don't know…" I started, but Chelsea stepped up behind me and squeezed my arm.
"It's okay, Bella, I'll take the first one," she smiled, offering her hand to Mr. Anderson. "I'm Chelsea, by the way, Peter Whitlock's stepsister. Bella and my little brother are tight, and they've told me all about your class. I'm impressed, Mr. Anderson," she smiled, moving around the table. I watched in fascination, as Mr. Anderson swallowed hard, taking a deep breath as well, when Chelsea stepped up in front of him. "So, you want the full service, then?" she smirked and slipped her arms around his neck, leaning into him. She pulled him down to her, brushing her lips against his, and his arms came up and wrapped around her waist. They stood there like that for several long seconds before they pulled back, looking at each other with stunned expressions.
"Okay, Bella, you've got the second one," she grinned, stepping back from a wide-eyed Mr. Anderson and pushing me in front of him. He looked down at me and then back up at Chelsea, who winked at him in challenge. He looked back down at me, and I smiled up at him. I think he had just realized I wasn't the girl for him, and I would prove it. I stepped up and wrapped my arms around his waist, going up on my tiptoes and pressing my lips to his. His hands gripped the tops of my arms, and there were absolutely no sparks there. I was about to start cheering internally when I heard an angry voice behind us.
"Bella, what do you think you're doing?"
I turned around and found myself looking into the angry eyes of Edward. However, I wanted to ask him the same thing when I realized Tanya Denali was standing there next to him, hanging onto him so close she appeared to be sewn to his side.