Chapter 26 – Ho, Ho, what a Ho
Tanya was looking ridiculously smug, smirking while hanging onto Edward like a bad odor, dressed like she was heading out to find a street corner, not attending a high school function. Her skirt was so short and her miniscule top so low-cut over her fake boobs she had to be freezing. Who in their right mind dressed like that in the dead of winter? He had no right showing up here with someone like her and saying anything to me. How dare he question what I did!
"Not that it's any of your business, Edward, as you've pretty much made it clear where I stand in your life since you left, but I'm helping my friends. Now, if you'll excuse me," I snapped and stalked off toward the coaches' hallway. I really didn't need to pee my pants right now.
I stormed into a tiny two-stall restroom, slamming the stall door behind me. As I sat there, I tried to calm myself down, but it wasn't working. Right about now, I wanted to rip him and that overpainted skank to shreds and dance on the pieces. He had some serious nerve, walking in here and pulling this crap, and I was one more smart-mouthed comment from him away from violently detaching his manhood and shoving it up her surgically straightened nose.
I was washing my hands when Tanya came sauntering into the restroom. "So, Bella, I guess I won my bet with my friend," she said, strolling up to the other sink. "You remember Lauren Mallory, right?" she grinned, but I said nothing, just glared at her in the mirror.
"Of course, you remember Lauren. She was my best friend here before I left Portland, and we're still close. She told me you had a little crush on your stepbrother, and knowing Edward as intimately as I do, I can't blame you. Judging by your reaction, though, I'm pretty sure I won. I bet her it was more than just a crush, that you were probably in love with him. You are, aren't you?" she asked, but I still said nothing and continued to glare, as I dried my hands.
"Of course, you are. Who wouldn't be? He's mentioned you a time or two in passing, but since he didn't make a big deal about you, I figured there was nothing to really talk about, at least for him," she smirked, fixing her overly-goopy lip gloss. "Looks like I won, and not just the bet," she laughed.
"Good for you," I spat and stalked out of the restroom before I scratched her eyes out, only to find Edward standing there fuming.
"Do you?" he demanded forcefully. "I heard everything she said," he pointed to the vented bottom panel of the restroom door. "You didn't deny what she said, but I couldn't see your face. Do you love me?" he asked, blocking my path when I tried to go around him.
"What does it matter now? You've obviously found something more interesting to keep you distracted while you were away, so I can't see why you'd even want to know," I spat, stepping around him to head back to the gym to help finish cleaning up. I didn't get far, though, because he grabbed my hand, jerking me back and holding me by my shoulders.
"It matters to me, Bella. Do. You. Love. Me?" he asked me slowly, enunciating each word.
"Yes, damn it, I'm in love with you, you jerk! I think my heart realized it was yours the first time I hugged you in the back of my truck on the first day of senior year when you pulled James off me!" I yelled at him, pulling out of his grasp. "I felt a connection to you that day, and it only grew into something more, at least for me, but I don't think it matters anymore. I let you get close to me, and you held me, you started helping me when no one else would, so I thought I mattered to you. You told me you were attached to us, but it didn't take much convincing at all for you to leave us, to leave me, did it?" I cried, tears streaming down my cheeks now, as Edward remained silent.
He was still staring at me, as Tanya came up behind him, watching us curiously. She sneered at me over his shoulder, as she wrapped her arms around him, and since I could only guess what kind of relationship they had forged in New York, I stepped away and then ran back toward the gym. When I opened the gym doors, Peter saw my face and stepped forward, opening his arms, and I ran into them, sobbing as he pulled me against his chest.
"I think maybe we should go, Bella," Peter said, as Edward came running in behind me. Peter led me toward the back of the gym, holding on to me tightly, so I wouldn't collapse.
"Bella?" Edward called to me, and I looked back at him, only to see Tanya wrapping her arms around him from behind once more and smirking at me again. I couldn't take it and looked away.
"You can stay with Alice and Jasper, Edward. Peter, can you please take me home?" I asked, and he nodded. We stopped and grabbed our coats before he took my hand and led me toward the exit. He called out to Chelsea, and she shouted to him that she'd find a way home, and for him to go ahead and go with me. She was still talking to Adam, and they both had smiles on their faces. Adam raised a hand and waved to me, nodding slightly, and I knew he would be okay. Charlotte joined us outside, and we made our way to my car.
"Let me drive, Bella. I don't think it's a good idea for you to do it right now," Peter said, taking my keys.
I nodded and got in the backseat, feeling nothing but numb. Edward knew. I'd told him I loved him, and he'd stood there and said nothing, as Tanya staked her claim. I'd guess I truly knew where I stood with him now, and it certainly wasn't where Tanya was standing.
We stopped off at the Whitlock's, so I could pick up the kids and drop Peter and Charlotte off at his house. Charlotte stayed inside to talk to Helene, while Peter helped me get the kids into the car. I was so thankful I only had to drive a few dozen yards to get into my garage up the street. As I went to get into the car, Peter leaned in and hugged me again, and I fell against him, utterly exhausted, both physically and emotionally.
"Bella, what can I do? I feel so helpless right now," he asked worriedly.
"There's nothing you can do, Peter. I think I just want to get the kids to bed and spend some quiet time alone. Thank you so much for driving us home. You were right, I wasn't up to it."
"Remember, Bella, just whistle and I'll be there," he said, just as a car squealed past us. We looked up and saw Edward come to a screeching halt in front of Jasper and Alice's house. He got out and slammed the car door hard, stalking up to the front door, his carry-on in his hand. He was alone, and I wondered how and where he had ditched Tanya. It hadn't looked like he was going to be able to shake her off him any time soon just a few moments ago.
"You deserve the best, Bella, a true friend and a devoted lover, not someone who'll only give you half-assed promises or who can't or won't put you first. You're an amazing woman, and I personally know of at least three guys who'd willingly take his place in your heart. If I thought I had a shot, and I wasn't certain a gorgeous blonde named Charlotte didn't already own me, I'd be one of them. I love you, Bella, as a friend, as a pseudo-sister, and hopefully, as the godmother of my future children someday," he said, as he cupped my cheeks and kissed my forehead. "Go get some rest, and if you need me…"
"I know, just whistle," I tried to smile up at him. He nodded and helped me into the car, closing the door for me. I gave a small wave and drove off down the street, noticing the blinds in the front window of Jasper and Alice's house snap closed as I drove by.
The kids were restless tonight and fussy, so it took forever to get them to wind down. After dinner, baths, and bedtime stories, it was really late, and I was about to fall down myself. I cleaned up for a while and then barely managed to brush my teeth and pull on some pajamas before I climbed into bed and passed out. I had a strange dream, or rather nightmare, about a ringmaster Edward and a clown Tanya chasing me through the house, grabbing at me and trying to hurt me. I woke up with a start in the wee hours of the morning and went to get up, but I found a large arm wrapped around me. Of course, I did what any normal woman would do. I screamed bloody murder and tried to kill my attacker.
"OW! OW! OW! Damn it, Bella, stop hitting me!" Edward yelled, as I whacked him repeatedly with the hardcover book from my nightstand. All our yelling woke up the kids, and as I clicked on the light, Esryl came running into my room from hers, screaming in terror and crying. Ethan was standing in his crib doing the same. I picked Esryl up and went to get Ethan, who jumped onto my chest and clung to me desperately, crying loudly.
"Look what you did!" I yelled at Edward, noticing the time. It was bloody five o'clock in the morning. I'd barely been asleep four hours. "Why are you even here?" I spat, as I tried to settle the kids down. I climbed back onto my bed with them both wrapped around me, crying and holding on to me for dear life.
"Crap, I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't think…"
"No, you didn't. Why on earth would you even sneak into my house in the middle of the night like this? You scared us all half to death! And why were you in my bed? Where's Tanya? I thought for sure you'd be sleeping with her somewhere," I hissed under my breath, trying to calm myself down, so the kids would calm down and hopefully go back to sleep. As scared as they were, though, I doubted that was going to happen anytime soon, and with them both cutting teeth right now, that pretty much meant they were going to be a pair of bears for Ethan's birthday party tomorrow. Wonderful.
"Bella, I'm not sleeping with Tanya, or doing anything else with her in a bed or anywhere else, for your information. We're not even seeing each other! I'm sure that's more than you can say about Peter, though, and Mr. Anderson looked perfectly happy kissing you, too. It looks like you've been plenty busy since I left!"
"Today was the first time I've seen Adam since we left school, and I kissed him as part of the kissing booth thing. As for Peter, he's been the only reason I haven't gone off the deep end since you left. He's been more of a friend, and I emphasize the word friend, to me in four months than you ever were!" I snapped, and Edward looked like I had slapped him.
"If you're not with Tanya, then why did you go to her house for Thanksgiving, Edward? If you're not seeing her, why spend that time with her so intimately, with her and her family, instead of coming home to your own? Somehow, I think you could've come home and gotten your project done, so I'm not buying it!"
"I wasn't the only one who joined her family for Thanksgiving, okay? She invited our whole group to come down, so we could work on the project after dinner. I rode down with a bunch of other people from class, and once we were finished eating, we worked on the stupid project and got it mostly finished, and then we headed back to campus, all of us except Tanya. I was never alone with her, nor have I had anything to do with her outside of classwork. Yes, Tanya and I dated here before she moved to Syracuse, but now, she's just someone in one of my classes, nothing more, Bella. I don't kiss her in front of her sorority house or escort her anywhere. The only reason she was even with me today was because she begged me to give her a ride from the airport to her grandmother's house. Emmett had told me you'd be at the school today, though, so I stopped to see you first."
"Why wasn't she with her family in Syracuse for the holidays? Why did she latch on to you and come back to Portland?" I still wasn't buying that Tanya was "just here" and didn't come to Portland to spend Christmas with him.
"Her parents went on a cruise, so she had to come back to Portland to be able to spend the holidays with any family. I didn't invite her home with me. We're not together!"
"Sure, right, uh-huh, so why was she hanging all over you today and declaring herself 'the winner?' She might as well have peed on your leg she was staking her claim so hard, and you didn't even do anything to stop her, so don't talk to me about how anything looks!"
"I was reeling from what you said, and she jumped on my distractedness! She's certainly delusional if she thinks I want anything to do with her, Bella. If you'd have kept watching, instead of running off with Peter, you'd have seen that I pushed her away from me and told her to keep her nasty hands to herself, that I was never speaking to her again, and she could go to hell. I left her there to find her own way to her grandmother's house for the stunt she pulled. I'm not with her!"
"Yeah, well, I somehow don't think she's aware of that," I disagreed with him, noticing both kids were wet. I think he'd literally scared the piss out of them. I needed to change them both…diapers, pajamas, bedding, and all. They both continued to cling to me, as I worked on getting them undressed. Edward tried to reach for Ethan to help me, but he screamed and grabbed hold of me harder, refusing to go to Edward. He also tried with Esryl, but she did the same. His face fell.
"They don't really know you anymore, Edward, so don't look so butt hurt. What did you expect when they haven't seen or talked to you in so long?" I knew it was a crappy thing to say, but it was the truth. Edward sighed and walked out of the room shaking his head, leaving me to it. It was just as well he had. I was on the verge of saying something we'd both regret.
Almost an hour later, I finally had both kids changed and settled back to sleep, although I didn't expect it to last long, as they were both fitful. I left them in my bed snuggled together and gathered all the wet linens and clothes and headed for the laundry room. I passed Edward at the kitchen table, and he jumped up and opened the basement door for me. I heard him on the stairs behind me, and he opened the washer, stepping aside, so I could shove the armload I was carrying into it. I went to start it, but he nudged me aside, trying to take over.
"Go lay back down, Bella. You look exhausted. I'll take care of this."
"It's my job, Edward, my responsibility, remember? I've got it," I said and bumped him away with my hip, starting the machine. I grabbed a basket of clean laundry to fold and went back upstairs, with him trailing behind me, and I noticed it was already becoming daylight. I had a cake to bake and a first birthday party to get ready for, so I headed back to my room to shower and prepare to start another day. Edward was still following me, so I turned to stop him.
"I'm going to get cleaned up and start getting Ethan's birthday party ready. It's at three o'clock, so you have time to go back to Alice and Jasper's and get some more sleep. I'll see you later, Edward. Lock the front door on your way out," I said and closed my bedroom door in his face, dismissing him.
I hated doing that, but right at that moment, I didn't think I could say one more thing without either blowing up in his face or falling at his feet and begging him to stay and never leave me again. Either way, I doubted it would be good for my nerves, or my self-esteem.