John Watson is challenged about his lack of desire to date Sherlock Holmes in this line-for-line parody of Green Eggs and Ham. We, the Johnlock Fans, take the place of Sam-I-Am. (Book/Fic Spoiler: Our side wins.) SPOILERS, Johnlock, POV John Watson, Ridiculous Crack and Bad Rhymes

"I speak for the curls, for the curls have no tongues, and I'm asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs, why on earth would you cut off this man's crowning glory?" "Relax," intoned Mycroft. "I'll tell you the story."

Here's a hat. Here is John. Can he make Sherlock put it on? "Sherlock, will you wear this hat?" "I will not wear it, John, you prat."

So. I was in a Doctor Seuss play, I saw the new Let's Draw Sherlock challenge, and this happened. A Green Eggs and Ham parody. Total crack, but hopefully funny. Sherlock does not like kittens and jam, John! I do not own Sherlock or Seuss.