Chapter 4: Conquering Hero

DaughterOfIris23 and Dashti-the-dramione-shipper are the betas for this chapter.

HP-BTVS-HP-BTVS

The following morning, after a long night of planning, Xander and the kids ate in the Great Hall. Xander stood apart from the kids, giving them room. Instead, he sat with the older boys, talking mostly to the Weasley twins about the layout of the castle. Those two boys seemed to know where everything was. The smirks on their faces said they had a secret weapon. That was all right, as long as they were willing to share their knowledge.

"So, are you ever coming back to the dorm?" Ron asked curiously.

Neville perked up at the question. He glanced at the girl who had been nice to him on the train. A look of longing, like he missed his friend, came upon his face. He had only seen her in class and right before bed. She came in so late and left so early.

"According to Xander, I'm staying with him," Harry answered, with a shrug. He certainly didn't miss sleeping with the other boys. "He says that's the only way he can keep an eye on me. But, I've got my own room, so it's cool."

"Oh, okay. What happened after Potions yesterday?" the round-faced boy asked, wanting to hear all the juicy details.

"Yeah, Snape is a right arse," Ron agreed. "What Mr. Harris did was totally wicked. So, what else did he threaten him with?" He leaned forward to catch every word.

"Let's just say that Snape will be behaving for a while. I wouldn't hold hope that it'll last, but relish it while you can," Xander answered with a smirk as he came and sat by the boys, having wrung a good deal of the layout out of the twins. Minerva told him that she had threatened the Potions Master with having him fired and would do her best to see if she could get him arrested if he didn't stop his harassing of the students. The man had done his best to talk, yell, and stare her down, but she was made of firmer stuff.

This caused a good portion of the table to look at Snape. The dour man sneered at them, causing the students to look away quickly. Xander pulled a large knife from his pocketspace and started cleaning his nails, which made Snape neutralize his expression rapidly.

They finished off their breakfast and Xander and his ward, plus Miss Granger, went to prepare for the day. McGonagall showed up just as Hermione finished getting her hair brushed by Joyce, who popped away as soon as she was done. "Mr. Harris, this is Nymphadora Tonks," she introduced as she came through the door. "Nymphadora, this is Xander Harris."

"It's Tonks," the young woman stated, folding her arms over her chest. "Just call me Tonks," she repeated.

"Why not Dora?" Xander asked, completely understanding why the girl might hate her name. He loathed his middle name with the same passion. That and he was sure she got teased greatly as a teen. He was male, he knew how he would have reacted to that name. "Tonks makes you sound like a dude. And I can tell you, you don't look like a dude." He looked her up and down. She was a fine-looking young woman.

"That works better, I suppose," the young lady now called 'Dora' stated.

"Great. So, what's up?" the one-eyed man asked, looking between the two women. They were still standing in the entryway. He wanted to know who the girl was before he let her in further.

"Did they not teach manners where you're from?" Minerva questioned with a scowl. "I went to a great deal of trouble to get Dora here. The least you could do is be polite," she snipped.

"We rarely had time for niceties. Getting information out of people was more important," was the casual reply.

"Were you an Auror?" Dora asked with a great deal of excitement. "I just signed up myself. If you could tell some stories, that'd be great." She all but bounced.

"A what, now?"

"Wizarding police," Hermione chimed in, reminding the adults that kids were about, prompting Xander to guide the two women to the living room.

"Ah… no, I was very much not a cop," he stated with a bit of a chuckle as he took a seat.

"A criminal?" she asked hesitantly.

"No… ummm… I was… ummm… it's complicated. I guess you could call me a Night Ranger, or something along those lines. My friends and I dealt with things that went bump in the night. Stuff real police wouldn't —or couldn't— deal with," Xander explained, trying to come up with a complete description without going into the gory details.

"I'm sure this will be an interesting story. One that you can share when you return," Minerva interjected. "Miss Tonks was raised in both the muggle and magical world. She will make a much better guide than I could. I need to remain here, especially now that the headmaster is not."

At that moment, Joyce popped back in, tapped Dora on the shoulder, and was instantly crushed in a hug.

"It's so good to see you, Aunty Joyce!" The pink-haired witch beamed.

"You two know each other?" Xander asked, happy to see someone knew Mrs. Summers. When she was describing her… existence, he had worried that she was a recluse. That Dora knew her was a great relief.

"She helped me train my Metamorphmagus abilities. We met up when I was in the Hospital Wing," Dora replied, still hugging the woman who had helped her so much.

"Meta-morpha-whatta-gus?" He asked. It sounded like one of Giles' world-ending monsters. He hoped this wasn't just another girl who was going to try and swallow the poor Xandman.

"It's an ability that lets me change how I look," Dora explained, cycling her hair into many different lengths, styles, and colors, making the children go 'Wow.'

"Oh, you're a shapeshifter. I ran into a few of you before… well, before. I'm guessing you think Harry is one?" he asked, turning to Minerva. Really hoping that was true. Shapeshifters were great at hiding. If they could develop that, Harry would be able to hide until he had no other choice. When he got more trained up, he could use it for spying and what not. This was going to be great.

"Yes, his hair did give me an indication of that," Minerva said kindly. "Speaking of which, Dora, I'd like you to meet Hermione Granger and Harry Potter."

"Harry Potter? Little Harry!" she squealed, reaching out to hug the boy, but he darted out of the way and hid behind Xander.

"Dora, he's not used to hugs," Xander warned, gently pulling the boy from behind him, but keeping his hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, sorry. You loved to be hugged as a baby. Have you told Bill?" she asked McGonagall, "He'll want to know."

"No, but it's been a busy few days. I will do so after you leave," Minerva said, a bit guiltily.

"Okay, and Bill would be…?" Xander asked as he watched the kids pay very close attention. Harry's brow furrowed in thought, and Hermione's head was swinging back and forth trying to take in all the new information.

"Bill and I used to watch you kids during the war. Well, there were a few older kids, but we stuck together. It was hard with all of you, but we tried to make it fun," Dora explained, looking at Harry. "We used to play house. We even made ourselves a new family name — the 'Wee-Tonk-Potter-Bottoms'." Tonks grinned, causing the others to snicker. "You vanished after your parents were killed, and Neville's Gran kept him in hiding. Bill had his family, but he never stopped asking for you. When he grew up, he joined Gringotts to see if he could dig up information. He had to work his way up to get to where he is today, but he still isn't high enough to get what he needs."

"I know I'm gonna be doing this a lot, but-" Xander sighed in frustration. There was just so much he didn't know. He was trying hard to keep up, but the words these guys threw around were confusing. They had no connection to the life he was used to. It was a bit like when he was in Africa and learning the language. His guide knew English, but only barely, so he had to learn a lot fast to understand what he needed to know. This wasn't quite as bad, but he wasn't going to remain ignorant much longer, not if he could help it.

"Gringotts is the wizarding bank," Minerva answered, seeing his confusion.

"That's where you will be going to access my accounts," Joyce added as she led them all to seats.

"Oops, sorry. I was never big on manners, and with parents like mine, it was no wonder," the Xandman sighed.

"I know, Xander. Trust me There were many times I wanted to march up and punch your father, Tony, in the nose," Joyce commiserated, with a malicious gleam in her eye.

"Your accounts?" Dora asked, getting back to the subject and sitting next to Xander, while the other two adults took their seats. Harry and Hermione sat on the other side of Dora.

"That's where all the tuition fees and donations go. It's where all the updates and supplies are supposed to come from. For some reason, the Board of Governors has control over it," Joyce growled. "That bunch of popinjays make me so angry. It is supposed to be the headmaster's job. How it got out of the school's control I didn't know."

"Well, that's something that's going to change," Xander snarled. He, too, didn't like the lack of equipment in the school. Harry and Neville had told him about their first flying lessons.

"How are you planning that?" Minerva asked, disbelieving and wary, "The Board of Governors has been around for quite some time. I know they have been cutting wages for years. If I didn't have a small savings set aside, I would be hurting for money. All the teachers are the same. Albus swears that he will fix it, but he never does."

"Everything dies without a head. I find out where the head is, and then I remove it. Simple," the one-eyed man said with a shrug.

"Xander, you can't just go around killing people!" Hermione missed the metaphorical meaning he implied and gasped, with a look of such unbelievable horror.

"Who said anything about people? I was talking about paperwork, documents, money, whatever is keeping them in control."

"Oh," was the chagrined reply.

"If it makes it easier, Hogwarts is supposed to be independent of whatever government is in place. We made sure of that when we built the school. So, you just have to find out what happened while I was sleeping, and I'll make sure you have the correct documents," Joyce added with a vindictive smile.

"Sounds good. Maybe we should—" Xander started.

"I did it!" Harry suddenly squealed happily. Everyone turned to see that Harry's hair was now down to his ankles, and bright pink. He looked like a demented Cousin It.

"Wow, on your first try! That's great, Harry," Dora grinned as Xander patted his back. The touch made the boy start, and made his hair revert to normal.

"It didn't last very long," Harry whined with a pout.

"And that's where Dora and practice comes in," Joyce told him.

"Right, sounds like we have a lot to do today, so we should get started," Xander said as he stood up and stretched.

"You can leave from the Floo here. I've diverted it for the day. Dora, make sure Xander goes to Ollivanders. He needs a wand," Joyce instructed as they headed for the fireplace.

"Flu? I'm not going to start sneezing and getting snotty, am I? 'Cause I gotta tell ya, I don't look good like that," Xander stated, remembering when he had the demon STD. While Anya had stayed by his side, she did make sure to let him know that his appearance led much to be desired. If there was one thing you could count on from Anya, it was brutal honesty.

"The Floo is a method of magical transportation involving stepping in and out of a fireplace," Minerva explained, stopping near the Floo and indicating it.

"Oh… so named in connection to a chimney flue?" Xander asked.

"Of course!" Hermione suddenly shouted in realization. She blushed when the adults grinned at her indulgently.

Harry, however, startled so bad, he almost tripped. He felt a large hand on his back and looked up to see Xander staring down at him with a sad expression, and Harry forced a smile and tried to relax.

"You're fine. Don't worry. It's going to take awhile to stop jumping like that. We'll get in some practice later," the one-eyed man said calmly, trying to think of ways to get the poor boy over that kind of reaction, but keep the need to be aware alive. Perhaps a mild prank war.

"I'll go through first," Tonks volunteered. "That way you all will see how it's done. Just remember; do what I do and say what I say, and you'll be all right." She then took a pinch of Floo powder and threw it in the fireplace and called, "Diagon Alley," and disappeared. Hermione quickly followed.

"Well, that looks easy enough. You go first, Harry, I'll be right behind you," Xander assured him.

Harry stepped into the fireplace and blurted out nervously, "Diagonally!" and vanished.

"Okay. He didn't say the right word, did he? Or did I hear that incorrectly?" Xander asked worriedly.

"No, you are correct, but if you say 'diagonally' and follow him, you will most likely end up at the same destination," Minerva said, shooing him to get going.

"Shit!" he yelled and jumped into the fireplace. He needed to find Harry and fulfill his role as a bodyguard. Who knew where the kid had wound up?

Harry looked around the gloom of where he landed and didn't see anyone, never mind Dora or Hermione. His glasses had flown off his nose when he shot out of the fireplace, so he really couldn't see much, but there were no people here. He was very relieved when Xander appeared.

"Harry, even I know that enunciation is important in spell work," Xander admonished as he picked Harry off the floor. "Where are your glasses?"

"They fell off," Harry said glumly.

"I'll see if I can find them. If not, we'll hit an optometrist, after I get some money from… Gringotts," the older man said, as he started to look around the shop they had landed in.

The shop was creepy. There were jars, books, knives, swords, and other trinkets that he had no clue what were for. He was pushing aside a book when a gnarled old hand attached to a stand on the fireplace grabbed his wrist.

"Mother fu— I mean bloody hell," he said. He was trying to curb his cursing, but in the rush of panic there wasn't much time to select more kid-friendly options. He was just going on what he heard Spike mutter all the time. "Listen, you no good piece of – whatever you are, let me go or I'm going to…" he let the threat hang as he shook his hand around vigorously trying to free his wrist. The agitation loosened the base, that was holding the hand, which broke off and flew away, destroying some glass displays. This caused a loud crashing noise, making whoever was in the back jump up and come running.

"Oi! What's going on in here? We're closed," a grumpy looking man with really horrible hair called out as he stormed in from a backroom.

"Little help here!" Xander yelled as he lifted his hand to show the man his problem.

The man stalked over waving his wand as he did, causing the displays to repair themselves. All the merchandise that had fallen in the crash, flew back up on the shelves, making the shop look like it had never been disturbed at all.

"Why would you put your arm in the Hand of Glory?" he asked incredulously as he squeezed the base of the thumb. The hand popped open and released Xander.

"I didn't! It grabbed me when I was looking for his glasses," he answered, pointing at Harry. "Hey now, are we anywhere near Diagon Alley? Cause we're a bit lost," he added, putting his newly freed hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Ah, you said 'Diagonally', didn't cha'?" the man chuckled, gazing at the younger of the two. "First time Flooing?" he guessed.

"Yes, sir," Harry said, hanging his head, only to have Xander squeeze his shoulder reassuringly.

"It happens often enough. Usually to first timers. I've complained, but the Floo office won't fix it. They said it's my problem and that I should just change my Floo address," the man complained bitterly. "Anywho, you're in Knockturn Alley. You gest need to go outside, and head left, you'll soon hit Diagon Alley."

"I'm Xander, this here is Harry," Xander said, squeezing Harry's shoulder.

"I'm Borgin, of Borgin and Burkes. This here is my store," Borgin said proudly, puffing up his chest importantly.

"Oh, where's Burkes?" the one-eyed man asked curiously.

"We don't talk about that backstabbing bastard," the man answered, making Xander quirk an eyebrow.

"So, what is this Hand of Glory?" Xander asked, gesturing to the severed hand still in the man's possession.

"A light source, providing guidance only to the holder," was the answer.

"Wow, what I wouldn't have given to have that back in the Dale," Xander grunted. "How much?"

"100 Galleons."

"Now, I don't know the money system you guys have going on here, as I only got here a week ago, but from what I do know, that's highway robbery," Xander said, pointing his finger accusingly at the shopkeeper. "I'll give you 50."

"I'll take 60, and not a sickle less!" Borgin said, offended.

"Uh… 55, and that is my final offer. And, dude, judging from the amount of dust around it, you've been unable to sell it for years."

Borgin opened and closed his mouth indignantly as Xander just stared at him. "Fine 55," he groused. "Don't touch that boy!" he snapped as he saw Harry reach for a locket. "It's killed 19 people already."

Harry snatched his hand away and moved to the middle of the aisle and placed his hands behind his back. Casting his eyes warily about, like something was going to jump out at him.

That didn't sound good to Xander at all. His usual Modus Operandi was to burn the joint down and salt the ashes, but since he was in a new reality, and he was pretty sure Borgin wasn't a demon, he'd have to do it by the books. "So, how much do you want for this joint? And please, don't waste my time."

"You want to buy my store? Well, I'm not sure about that. I built this store from the ground up, and it means a lot to me," the proprietor said, greed shining in his eyes.

"I'll buy everything here. Look, do you have insurance?" Xander asked pointedly.

Borgin knew what that meant, now he had to weigh a decent buyout, or what he could get on his insurance. The problem was that he didn't put much of what was in the store on his policy. Most of it was banned, illegal, or borderline illegal. If, for some reason, the store went up in flames, then he would take a major loss. He looked the man in front of him up and down. Who was this guy? He had never heard of a wizard that looked or talked like him. The one-eyed man had off handedly threatened him as well, so perhaps it was for the best.

"Dude, you are wasting my time. I have to get Harry to Diagon Alley. I'm on the up and up, so let's get this over with," Xander said impatiently. He really did need to go, and he could always come back in the middle of the night. However, he did want to do this by the books, so he would give the guy a chance.

"If you're serious and won't rat me out, then I suppose I could let it go for 150,000 galleons; lock, stock and barrel. It'll give me enough to buy a place to retire," the tired man said. When he had opened the store, business was booming. Now, the ministry was on him all the time, and more people wanted to sell, not buy. He was going to cut his cost and leave, as long as this bloke was being honest.

"All right, let me see how things go at the bank, and I'll get back to you. I want to do this as legally as possible. No matter what though, I want this Hand of Glory, so could you hold on to it for me?"

"Sure. That'll be two extra galleons," Borgin stated, with a smirk.

"Yeah, right, sure, whatever. That Burkes guy, is he going to be an issue? I mean, his name is on the store." Xander asked, tilting his head to one side.

"Burkes will never be an issue to anyone," came the menacing answer.

"Okay. Hey, have you seen a pair of glasses?" the one-eyed man asked, looking around the shelves but carefully not touching anything.

"Have you tried summoning them?" came the question instead, sounding doubtful. He didn't see a wand.

"Nope, but Harry, why don't you give it a shot?" Xander looked down at Harry and smiled encouragingly.

"How? I can't see," Harry asked, squinting in the dark room.

"Just picture it, like I taught Neville," Xander instructed as Borgin watched curiously. He chuckled derisively at the thought of this young kid performing a fifth-year summoning spell. He was, therefore, shocked when the young boy did it wordlessly.

"By Merlin, that was amazing!" he declared.

"Ah, man, they're broken," Harry grumped, looking at his poor glasses, which were cracked beyond repair.

"Harry, remember? If an adult can do it, so can you. You saw this guy fix all the glass I broke, so…" Xander said encouragingly.

Harry once more waved his wand and impressed Borgin once again by doing the impossible. He beamed at Xander and put the glasses on his face. He scrunched up his nose at the depressing store. Now that he could see, he really didn't want to touch anything. Well, maybe those snitches. How bad could a snitch be?

"Right, I'll get back to you," Xander stated as he ushered Harry out of the shop.

The trip to Diagon Alley was short. With Xander waving his knife, sword, axe, or gun at anyone who looked at them funny, they made good time. When they got to where they were supposed to be in the first place, they spotted the two girls. Dora was easy to find with her pink hair.

"Thank Merlin, you found him!" the older of the two said, exasperated. "I was about to call the Aurors."

Hermione took Harry's hand and gave him a brilliant smile. "We were very worried. I'm glad you're okay."

"I'm fine. Xander found me right away," he replied, giving her a warm smile.

"Yep, he even managed to perform two wordless spells." Xander said proudly.

"Xander bought this ugly hand and wants to buy a whole shop!" Harry said excitedly.

"Wot's this?" Dora asked.

"No'ing much Guv'nor," Xander answered cheekily. "We landed in Borgin and Burkes, and he had this hand which is supposed to hold a candle that only gives light to the bearer. After hearing that he also had a necklace that killed people, I figured it might be safer to buy the shop and close the place down."

"Borgin and Burkes?" Dora asked incredulously. "You took Harry to Knockturn Alley?!" she screeched, causing half the population of the street to stare at them and the other half to move away even quicker.

"'Took'? There was no 'took-ing'!" Xander defended. This accusation brought back some not-so-good memories of his friends. They were always jumping to the conclusion that he was the one in the wrong. They got better, but to be truthful, he had pulled off some stupid stuff when he was younger. He still remembered his harrowing brush with becoming a singing demon's 'queen'. That was just wrong on so many levels. "He went, and I followed."

"Oh, Harry, you said 'diagonally', didn't you?" she asked knowingly. "Borgin calls it in, but he won't let us set a time to come and fix it. We think that's because of all his shady merchandise. He just calls it in so we have a record and he can't be held liable."

"Well, if all goes well at the bank that won't be an issue. Hey, maybe you can jump start your career by going through everything when I buy the shop. That is, if Joyce is correct, and I have the funds for it," Xander offered, always one to help a pretty lady. Sure, they were usually trying to kill him, but that never stopped him. At her gobsmacked look he chuckled. "The bank?" he asked, prodding her to stop gaping.

"Sure, right, the bank," she said in a daze as she stumbled her way through the crowds completely floored. She appeared dazed, and happy, and confused. She almost ran into a wall with shock, so Harry and Hermione grabbed and elbow each and led her to the bank.

"Please tell me that's not the bank," Xander begged as he noticed the huge white building looming in the distance with domineering script etched over the doors.

"Yeah, that's where Hagrid took me," Harry explained, not seeing the issue. The goblins were grumpy, but they weren't mean.

"Right, and the guys running this bank, what do they look like?" the one-eyed man asked, running through what he knew about these guys. If they were who he thought they were…

"About waist high, pointed ears, sharp teeth," Dora answered, shaking herself out of her daze. She smiled at the kids and reclaimed her arms.

"And how many wars have you been in with them, and when was the last one?" the ex-demon hunter sighed.

"Quite a few over the ages. The last one was a couple of centuries ago," this time Hermione replied. "We learned it in History of Magic. You know, the class where you exorcised the teacher."

"Hey now, I did you a favor," the man protested, then looked at the bank and sighed. "Yep, I knew it wouldn't be this easy."

He looked around the street quickly. He instructed Dora to take the kids to get ice-cream and that he would be back shortly. He then hefted his axe and wandered to the bank, leaving behind three very confused people.

It was getting late in the afternoon and Joyce and Minerva were sipping tea, fretting over where Xander and the kids were.

"They should've been back quite a while ago," Joyce said, hoping Xander didn't have any issues with Gringotts. She knew the goblins could be surly, but she had given him the key. It never crossed her mind that he might have run across them in his previous reality.

"I am just concerned they might have run into a Dark wizard. Especially since Harry called the wrong Floo destination. Xander doesn't know any defensive magic," Minerva said, concerned.

"Xander can handle himself," Joyce answered, though you couldn't hear it in her voice. So, they fell silent and sat worried.

That worry increased when Harry stumbled through the Floo saying, "Xander says you might need to get Dora a stiff drink. They'll be here in a second." He was a mite concerned, as most of his bad punishments happened when Vernon had a 'stiff drink'. It usually meant a bad day at the office, which translated into a bad night for Harry.

A few minutes later, Hermione and Xander came through together supporting a shocked Dora.

"Oh, dear, whatever happened to you, Nymphadora?" McGonagall said, helping her to the nearest chair.

"Xander… Goblins… Ollivander's…. Borgin's…" she mumbled incoherently, trying to make sense of all that had happened this day. She didn't know if the man was unlucky or just plain crazy. Perhaps both.

Xander and the kids were chuckling at the poor girl.

"Xander! Make with the 'splainy!" Joyce teased, using her daughter's atrocious verbal mannerisms.

So, he did, explaining what happened in Knockturn Alley, and the buying of the shop. "No one told me the bank was run by demons," he finished, frowning at the two older women.

"It is run by Goblins," Minerva argued. "Sure, they are not human, but to call them demons is just uncalled for." She gave him a disappointed look.

"That's not what we called them back home!" Xander retorted, knowing what she was thinking. It wouldn't be the first time someone misunderstood him. He didn't hate all demons; Clem was a great guy. But the ones these guys called goblins were nasty buggers. They didn't want to take over the world, but they were a pain in the neck if you didn't show them who was boss right away.

"What did you call them?" Hermione asked, hoping for more information on his reality.

"Something I can't really pronounce, and not what they are called here. However, they are the same demon and past experience has shown me that you need to conquer these guys and do it fast. Giles is their king back home. Long, long story short, I sent these three to get some ice-cream and took care of it. I don't want to have to deal with a war with… goblins, if we still have to deal with Voldyshorts," he explained, making everyone feel a bit better about the whole situation.

"You conquered the goblins?" Minerva asked in disbelief. "That is unheard of. Goblins are a warrior race. You do not just go in and take over. It was against all the treaties. I do hope this does not start a war," she added, a small bit of worry on her face.

"Yeah, it was easy," he shrugged. "Their pride is so big that they believe they are stronger than humans. They will never give in until you make them. I called a non-magical challenge, and when he came at me with a knife, I picked him up by his shirt and held him in a half-nelson. Then I proceeded to give him a noogie until he cried uncle," Xander explained, looking at Dora to see how she was handling it. Not well, judging from her still-cycling hair.

Joyce burst out laughing. "Oh, my! Sally did pretty much the same thing when he conquered them!" she exclaimed happily.

"Sally?" was the chorused question.