Vengeance

by crushed2

Santana Lopez grew up in a dangerous world. Brittany Pierce grew up facing a different set of dangers. When both Santana's first love and Brittany's childhood friend die their worlds are set on a collision course that could end in retribution, or something far more rewarding.

47. Chapter 47

Ignacio Lopez is a bit of an enigma to Brittany. During their wedding planning there had been a lot of discussion about guest lists. Brittany's family keeps growing by the minute, and so there was the discussion of whether they should invite the extended Eriksens to this shindig or not. Brittany decided that she just wanted her mormor there. While she hadn't seen mormor Susan in person much she did speak with her on the phone as often as possible. She liked the flirty old lady.

Brittany asked about Santana's extended family, her uncles in Cuba and her abuelo Lopez. Santana simply said "no", that her list was short. Santana had the Lopezes, the Rodriguezes, Robbie, and two hit women who happened to be banging her friends, one more seriously than the other. Brittany is finding family members left and right, meanwhile, Brittany had only heard the rare mention of abuelo Lopez. He's still alive, in Cuba, living out his days as a civilian, having passed his burdens, I mean business, down to his only son, Juan. Sure, Isabelle has a large extended family in Cuba, her brothers and their spouses and children. Santana had met them all, back when her parents had more reasons and time to visit Cuba. As Juan Lopez grew in power to levels that his own father had never known he stopped visiting Cuba as often. If anything went bad he didn't want any of it coming down on Isabelle's family or even his own father. So he financially supported his wife's family when needed, and he spoke to his father occasionally. That's the story Santana told. Brittany felt that there may have been a bit more to the story, though, and so she continued to chip away at Santana's exterior.

Brittany has been learning a lot about her family, at least the Eriksen side. It got her and Santana talking more about the elusive Ignacio Lopez, and why Juan doesn't seem to have the closest relationship with the man. Santana never asked but she had her ideas of where their decline started. It started with her love of women. She never admitted to Brittany that she felt a little guilty about that, knowing that her papi would choose her over anything. Juan never spoke of it. She just noticed that while the phone calls continued the visits stopped. Before she knew it well more than a decade had passed since she had seen the elder Lopez and Juan never bothered to explain why. Santana never admitted to Brittany that she wished the two men could sit in a room together one more time. It came to her when Juan had looked near death's door. No child should have their parent die without the ability to say goodbye, and abuelo was getting old.

Santana remembers occasional visits to Cuba as a young girl. She remembers his visits to Miami. She doesn't remember much about her abuela, she died when Santana was rather young, but she does remember her abuelo better than she admits, and he seemed to love her. He would gush over her, what a beauty she was. How she would find a suitable man to marry and keep the Lopez line going strong.

Brittany had to ask, and so one night, as they sat across from one another at the table planning their wedding, Brittany brought up the Lopez they rarely speak about.

"Did you ever consider inviting your abuelo?"

"Nope"

"Why not?"

"Don't have much of a relationship with him anymore."

"So you had one with him before?"

"Yeah."

"So why not now?"

"It's a long story."

"Does that long story end with you being a lesbian?"

"Pretty much."

"Did he give you a hard time?"

"Not really a hard time. He's not that kind of man. He had his say and he kept it moving."

"Do you want to tell me what he said?"

Santana sighed. "It was nothing horrible. Just told me that being homosexual was more trouble than it was worth. He couldn't understand why I would put myself through that. Told me I was a beautiful girl and could have my choice of so many powerful men and yet I choose Valentina Ramirez of all people."

"Ouch. That's borderline horrible, Santana."

"Not when you think about the time and place he's from, not to mention his personal disdain for Luis Ramirez. Cuba has come a long way, but it still has a very long way to go. We wouldn't even be planning this wedding if we lived there, because gay marriage is still illegal there. I mean technically, it's no longer a crime to be gay there but that's not saying much. I love Cuba. I love my heritage and my people and our culture, but like every country there is a dark side, and Cuba's relationship towards homosexuals is one of the darker sides."

"Yeah."

"He's an old man. My papi has different views. He grew up here, as an American. He also loves his lesbian only child. Trust me a lot of these men my papi are associated with would have had a lot to say about me banging their daughters if I wasn't Juan Lopez's daughter."

Brittany laughed. "Did you really find it necessary to rub it in their faces by fucking their daughters?"

Santana shrugged, "I had a rebellious stage. Besides, they came to me, I didn't have to chase them down. I was doing just fine meeting girls outside of our circle and spending time with them. They pursued me, and they all came looking for different things. Some just wanted sex, which I was fine with helping with their curiosity. Some wanted the power they thought being with Juan Lopez's daughter might bring, some wanted to try and secure the good life. Soon, they all pretty much learned my sexuality would not benefit them in any way. I wasn't ashamed of it or hiding it, I just wasn't announcing it, and so they couldn't hold any big secret over my head. I wasn't the fall in love after every orgasm type and so they couldn't manipulate me emotionally. I was never the type to buy friendship and lavish gifts on people who hung around me and so I certainly wasn't going to pay a stipend for pussy. I was too young to want a real relationship, I was just discovering the joys of sex. It was all just a good time to me. That was until Valentina confessed her feelings to me. Before that I was just a teenager that enjoyed hooking up with girls and having fun. I knew that my lesbian ass was a thorn in the side of a lot of the older men who grew up in a different Cuba, a Cuba where they had the labor camps, I simply didn't give a shit."

"Labor camps?"

"Yeah, the UMAPs were where the "undesirables" were sent. Gays, people of certain religions, people who expressed certain political views, even some artists and intellectuals, and a ton of others who were considered counter-revolutionary were forced into labor camps. It's just as it sounds, forced labor on sugar fields or other places, because of who they were or who they were accused of being."

"Damn"

"Yeah. So that's where my abuelo comes from. He doesn't hate me for being gay he just doesn't understand that it's not a choice. A choice would be me choosing to sleep with men when I don't want to just to conform to what society expects of me. A lesbian is not who I choose to be, it's who I am."

"Damn right!"

"Still, I feel like I created a rift between my abuelo and my papi. My papi loves my abuelo. They had a lot more communication before abuelo spoke those words to me."

"Well Santana if there is a rift it's not because of you, okay honey? Let me ask you a question, how would you feel about your abuelo being there?"

"I wouldn't mind, but if I had to choose between my abuelo or my papi it would be my papi, hands down. I honestly don't know where my papi and my abuelo stand these days or know the whole story. I had my own healing to do with my parents, my abuelo is going to have to figure his shit out with them for himself."

Santana didn't like getting into unpleasant feelings if she didn't have to. The Lopez men didn't talk a lot, they simply understood one another, and Santana fit right into that mold. Ignacio Lopez grew up in a Cuba where homosexuality was illegal but Santana also knew there was more to the story. There always seemed to be an underlying fear he held that his granddaughter might suffer in some way. Santana just sensed that what her abuelo said to her was based in more than ignorance, more than coming from a different place and time, she sensed a protectiveness in his tone.

Ignacio didn't understand homosexuality, but he didn't think people needed to be punished for it either. Better to just keep it to yourself. He didn't need to see it, and he certainly didn't care to be related to it. It meant trouble. Who would want to subject themselves to the labor camps? Ignacio just couldn't understand why anyone would go through that. It was better to live your life alone than to put yourself and your loved ones through that. It was that simple, and that meant that it was that simple for Santana as well. She would not make the old man uncomfortable. They would love one another from afar. She didn't need to think about it, and Brittany just needed to understand that her abuelo is nothing like Brittany's mormor.

Brittany heard loss in Santana's voice, and she sensed that Juan may have felt the same loss. She loved the Lopezes, they all had given her so much. So Brittany decided that she didn't need to be the only one who got to expand her family. She noticed the joy Santana always felt for her when she reconnected with new family members, and she thought she detected a bit of longing as well. Still, Santana could be a closed book, and so Brittany always got short answers when she asked about the relatives in Cuba. She just didn't have the time to get the entire story out of her. The things she just learned about Ignacio Lopez made her wonder. Perhaps that old school way of thinking was the reason she didn't have much contact with Isabella's family either.

Brittany made a call to Isabella first to try and gauge whether inviting any of Santana's family from Cuba would be a good idea. Isabella was happy to hear from her future daughter in law, excited that the wedding was only a couple of weeks away. She thought it would be a good idea, but only after she spoke to Juan. Juan Lopez was not a man who liked surprises, and while she didn't feel it was her place to go into the history of what is going on between the two men, she promised that she would speak to her husband. She knows he will be more receptive if not blindsided or put on the spot by having the ladies ask, however he would try his hardest to put things aside as long as he knew it was what Brittany and especially Santana wanted.

Isabella set out to speak to her husband as soon as possible. The wedding was only a couple of weeks away and so things had to be arranged quickly. She made his favorites for dinner, wore something nice, put him in an excellent mood. She would make the night about him, and over a light breakfast, because Juan was still intentionally regaining his weight slowly, she would speak to him about his father.

Juan Lopez woke up in an excellent mood. Isabella had worked her magic the night before, and let's just say he was very happy to have his strength back. In his mind life couldn't get any better, he was beginning to look and feel like his old self and his only child was getting married. Not only was she getting married, she was back in his life and so he would be walking her down the aisle, just as he had always dreamed he would.

"Mi amor, I wanted to talk to you about the wedding. Our future daughter in law called with a request."

"What do they need?"

"Brittany called because she feels like all of the focus has been on her for so long. She loves being able to focus on Santana. I for one love that she doesn't allow her to hide in the shadows and insists on caring for Santana the way that Santana cares about everyone else. Brittany has been finding and reuniting with family so much since they met, which is understandable because she didn't know anyone but Brooke for so many years. Now she wants to reunite Santana with some of her family."

Juan knew exactly where this was going.

"Mi papa?"

"Si"

Juan paused. "Does she know what Santana wants? Because that's who this is all about."

"Santana said she wouldn't mind having him there."

"She did?"

"You know Santana, she loves your papa, she just won't allow herself to get invested if she feels like he will hurt her because he doesn't approve of her life."

"Her abuelo loves her. He just comes from a different place. Anytime we talk she is the first person he asks about. He never placed any demands on her, he loves her."

"I know mi amor, you three just did your typical Lopez thing and pushed emotions aside and decided to never speak about it. You settled it by never speaking of it again."

Juan laughed, "The Lopez men, and women, we're simple people. There is no anger or animosity between us."

"I know mi amor, but for years I have told you, ever since she came back into our lives, take Santana Marie to see your papa. Break the ice between them. They are the ones who need to talk, you did what you've always done with Santana, you took her side over everyone and she loves you for that, but she only followed your lead on this one. Because you became all business back then she just allowed herself not to address the issue anymore. You started visiting Cuba less and she started avoiding going when we did go. I know that part of that was being a teenager and wanting the time alone more than she wanted to visit anyone with her parents. He didn't have confirmation about her sexuality until she and Valentina fell in love, but your papa is a lot like you. I'm pretty sure at least one of his associates over here got word back to the island about Santana's wild teenage escapades."

"She wasn't that bad."

Isabella laughed, "She was the daughter of Don Juan Lopez. She did quite well with the ladies, you're just taking up for her because in your eyes she can do no wrong."

"She didn't do anything wrong," Juan defended.

"No, she didn't mi amor. She was just discovering herself."

"Exactly."

Isabella laughs, "See, you even defend her with me." Isabella shook her head. "So what does this mean, carino? Are you inviting your papa?"

"If Santana wants him at her wedding, that's what Santana will get."

"Such a good papa," Isabella said, standing and wrapping her arms around her man's shoulder's. She kissed him on the cheek and he took her by the wrist and pulled her into his lap.

"Is that all I get?" Juan smiled.

"I didn't give you enough last night?" Isabella smiled.

"Hmmmm, why don't you butter me up a little more Bella? I love the way you convince me to bend to your will."

"Works every time," Isabella smiled.

"Did Santana want your family there as well?" Juan asked, leaning his face into her dark hair and breathing deeply. He still loved the smell of her hair, the feel of it against his face.

"There are so many of them. I think of what happened at Brooke's wedding and while that was beautiful for them I can't imagine Santana wanting to deal with that many new faces at once. Even Brittany is not inviting all of those relatives to the wedding. Let's get them married, and soon we can take them home to Cuba to meet everyone else. Do you think they're ready for Cuba?"

"Santana understands, and Brittany is a smart girl. Cuba has come a long way for people like them, and they still have a very long way to go. I'm sure that even here there are spaces where they aren't as public with their love, they will be however they feel comfortable with one another when they are there. At the end of the day they are just visiting, and if they don't feel comfortable they can stay for a day instead of a week or whatever."

"I agree," Isabella replied. "It's been a long time since I've visited my family as well. Maybe we make it a family thing, the Rodriguezes and Robbie may love going home for a visit as well. We can even invite Brooke and Erik if you want, they're family too after all."

"That sounds good, mi amor. Your hermanos have gone a long while without a visit from you."

"We made our choices."

"Yes, but we have nothing to protect them from now." Juan replied.

"Juan, are you okay with seeing your father, with really speaking with him about Santana and her wedding to a woman?"

"For Santana, I'm more than okay with it, mi Bella." Juan said, kissing his wife softly on the lips.

Juan was ready. He wanted to make his family whole. He didn't want any residual anger in his heart or especially his daughter's heart. He didn't want his Bella not to visit her relatives and have them be a bigger part of her life again. When Juan became boss he and Isabella decided to keep as many of their loved ones at an arms length for their own safety, and so visits were rare, and money and messages were always sent in the most discreet way. They only dealt with people who they trusted, people that had worked for his father for many years and kept him safe. Juan left Cuba as a small boy escaping poverty with his family. He doesn't remember a lot about life in Cuba, certainly not as much as Isabella does, having left as an adult. He remembers more from his visits with his papi and mami who would go and check on the parents that they left behind in poverty, providing more and more for them as Ignacio grew in power. After his grandparents died he had no reason for frequent visits. When his father retired to Cuba he began visiting again, and he felt good knowing that his father was nearby to make sure his in laws were safe as well. But then came Santana, and her open love for women, and before they knew it the visits no longer happened at all. Like his Bella had told him, the Lopez men, and Santana, they have this way of removing something from their lives and never speaking of it again. Juan Lopez has learned that sometimes that is not the right way of thinking. Sometimes you have to speak until there is healing. His daughter's journey taught him that.

Juan finished his breakfast and then grabbed a cup of coffee to take to his office and start his day. He'd start it by making sure that his daughter had whatever she wanted on her wedding day. Juan dialed the number and waited for the familiar voice on the other end.

"Hola?"

"Hola Pa."

"Juan! How are things mijo?"

"Things are good."

"How is your health?"

"Much better these days, and yours?"

"Very good, thank you. I prayed for your well being."

"Gracias, papa. Oye, Santana is getting married. I know that she would like you there. It would be a nice surprise. Her bride asked this morning because she knows how much it will please Santana."

"Santana is getting married? I hope this is not because she is trying to get over the Ramirez girl."

"You clearly don't know your granddaughter. She may mourn, but she knows very well how to leave things behind and move on. We both have seen her do that quite well."

"Indeed we have."

"So will you take her bride's invitation? I know you have your objections..."

"You don't know, Juan, and if Santana Marie wants me there then it's there I'll be."

"It is their day, papa, one hundred percent."

"Do you think you have to tell me how to behave, or that you even could?"

"I don't think I have to tell you, and I'm not here to have a pissing match with you. I'm just being clear as to what Santana means to me, and what this day means to her. If you cannot come with a total overwhelming joy and love in your heart for your granddaughter and her happiness, don't come."

"Nothing has ever meant more to me than that little girl. I haven't seen her or heard her voice in so long. You let her bride know that I would be honored, and I thank her for extending the invitation."

"Very well, papa."

"Juan, we should talk."

"We will, when you arrive. Te amo, papa."`

"Te amo mijo."

And just like that, Ignacio Lopez was heading back to the United States for the first time in more than a decade.

It was only a week before Santana and Brittany's wedding, and Santana was getting the nervous jitters. She was edgy, Snixx was waiting to pounce, and she hadn't even been interested in having any strawberry ice cream the past couple of days. "Stressed" was an understatement, and Santana didn't understand why. She wanted this more than anything. She knew that Brittany wanted this. They had been through everything together. She couldn't understand why she felt like something was lurking on the horizon that would disturb her peace.

Brittany had decided that maybe a little dinner at Luciana's restaurant would help calm her spirit. They would go and eat and drink and maybe have a dance or two . They invited Robbie and Danny to come along and Brittany was hoping that Luciana would be able to talk to Santana and bring her down to earth. As much as the two annoy one another, Luciana would be Santana's maid of honor. Santana had struggled, wanting to somehow include Robbie in her wedding party. Luciana joked that he should be the ring bearer, but Robbie was okay sitting on Santana's side of the aisle as her family. As close as the three were, Luciana and Santana were almost like blood, despite the whole "they used to fuck each other senseless" thing. Nobody else should stand at Santana's side, just as nobody but Danny could be Brittany's best man. So it had been settled, It would be Danny and Luciana standing next to them and their fathers walking them down the aisle, but it would be Robbie in charge of the bachelorette party, which left everyone slightly frightened. To Robbie, it was the greatest honor of all. He wouldn't do anything over the top, but it's Vegas. He would make sure there would be dancing, and eye candy, and alcohol and if Brittany is there he would make sure the food was great, and at the end of the night they would head back to the suite that Erik is providing for the festivities and end it with something special. Luciana may be the maid of honor, but he was Santana's best bro, and so he would make sure he would give her a party that she would always remember.

Luciana had a moment to grab Santana once dinner was over, inviting her back to her office for a chat as Brittany and Danny enjoyed yet another dessert.

"How are you, hermana?"

"Good"

"In two days you're off to Vegas."

"You better be right behind me."

"Nothing can stop me."

"I know you're working hard to get the cigar bar ready and this is a really bad time for you..."

"Callate Santana, it's never a bad time to celebrate you finally tricking someone into marrying you."

"Fuck you Luciana"

"Brittany would kill me. Did you see that look she gave me that day I kicked your ass in your apartment?"

Santana scoffed, "You mean the day you got your ass flipped onto my sofa? Yeah, I remember."

"You talking about the day I saved your relationship?"

"You did not save my relationship!"

"Oh yeah, I did, and I risked my life to do it too. La rubia was ready to take me out. She was all intense and shit, it was kind of hot."

"I will kill you, Luciana."

"Nope, not as hot when you do it, Santana."

Santana chuckled, "Ugh, you will never not be a pain in my ass will you Luciana?"

"I hope not," Luciana smiled. "Ana, you're getting married! I can't believe it."

"And it's not to Valentina."

"Honestly, I never saw that happening, hermana, and it was just a wish for Val, Realistically she knew it could never be. This, this is the happiness I always saw for you, even if I didn't know who she would be I knew you would find her or she would find you. You never looked like this with anyone. Not Val, not me, not all of the girls you banged when you discovered you loved vagina. I'm guessing not even Maya. Brittany has you loving like a grown woman loves, not just heart eyes and afterglow. It's the beautiful in between she has you in, where you always seem content and you're not just on some unsustainable high. She's magic for you, hermana, so just relax. This is it. This is the one. Your best friend approves, so stop that Juan Lopez shit you do worrying down to the last second. You're flying off to Vegas, where Robbie will be totally cliche with your bachelorette party and hire some amazingly beautiful strippers ignoring completely that we are all dating trained killers and we will have to try and behave ourselves so that we don't get murdered in our sleep that night."

Santana laughed, "He's such a loveable dumbass."

"Totally," Luciana laughed. "Our pet male."

Santana smiled, "Listen, I have no idea why my nerves are on edge. I'm crazy about that woman. You're right, I'm being my papi right now. Just get me through this, Luc, and you can inherit my little black book."

"Your book has 2 names in it since Val, and you're marrying one of them."

"Not that one, the pre Val one."

"Oh please, once Val took you off the market who do you think 80% of those girls came to for their good vagina fix?"

Santana laughed, "Damnit Luc, I can't trust you for shit."

"What can I say, you know good pussy when you see it." Luciana shrugged. "Plus, I know you banged a few of the girls I left behind."

"They were so heartbroken, Luc." Santana smiled.

"Just doing your civic duty, I know."

"Those days are over, Luc, we were so young and horny," Santana laughed.

"Long behind us."

"Us?" Santana questioned, her eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, us," Luciana almost whispered.

"You and Quinn?"

"She spends a lot of weekends down here, we decided not to date anyone else."

"You already weren't dating anyone else."

"For the most part."

"What the fuck do you mean 'for the most part'?"

"We both kept things open, and beautiful women walk through my restaurant doors every day. I went on a few dates, but my mind kept going back to her, and if you saw these women either I'm insane or I feel something for Quinn."

"Yeah?" Santana smiled.

"Wipe that stupid grin off your stupid face," Luciana rolled her eyes and Santana laughed.

"She's away, she's in school, she's older and mature and those younger girls love that sweet innocent bitchy thing she has going on, but she admitted to me that she thinks about me all of the time and so she asked me did I think it was worth it to keep avoiding the inevitable."

"So what did you say?"

"I said we'd talk about it in Vegas."

"Yes!" Santana smiled. "And what's going on with Robbie and Imani?"

"Total fuck buddies."

Santana laughed, "Can't win them all."

"Robbie seems into her, but men always love what they can't have. Imani has trust issues, and Robbie is the ultimate lady's man. Quinn said her dad was religious but also a serial cheater, and her mom felt stuck. They were all miserable in that house, and Imani just doesn't trust anyone, especially men, with her heart. She can't see Imani settling down any time soon, especially not with a lady's man."

"I can't say that I don't understand her apprehension. Has Robbie ever even attempted to settle down with a girlfriend?"

"Let's just say he wasn't any different in the time you were away than he was while we were growing up."

"I think seeing the two of us slowing down, finding someone, makes him think of starting his own family, though I don't know if he's truly ready yet either. Then Val dying before she ever had a real family, Val dying knowing that she probably would never have a real family, I think that affected him as well."

"It did."

"Imani is good for him, someone that is not eager to be with him, someone who is not chasing him to love them. She is a taste of his own medicine," Santana smiled. "She may be just what he needs to experience in order to take those last steps into adulthood."

"Correcto," Luciana smiled. "To this day I will never understand why you agreed to go out with him and why he even asked knowing tio Juan would kill him if he broke your heart."

Santana smiled, "Robbie was going to be my attempt at the straight life, testing out my gay levels. I've always thought he was cute, but I never felt anything sexual towards him. I just thought that since I had never dated a guy I would at least try, and out of all of our guy friends he was the least sleazy. Besides, Robbie could never break my heart, at least not in a relationship. If anything we both would have been secretly chasing pussy."

Luciana laughed, "Yeah, there's a heart hidden beneath that untamable dick, he would have been a safe attempt for you."

Santana laughed. "I suspect him asking me out was his attempt at growing up, at impressing my father, at showing the world he was more than what people made him out to be. Honestly as I said I know that we both would have cheated, because while I've never been with a man I don't feel like I've missed out on a thing."

"You didn't, that's what strap ons are for."

Santana laughed. "Didn't even need that. I just love the softness of a woman. I don't have to explain that to you, but as a teenager, in our culture, I was willing to give it a try. I had no intention of fucking Robbie anytime soon after that first date, but I certainly was going to make out with him and see if it moved me in any way. If it did, I may have given, at the very least, the sex a try. So glad I never did, it would have killed our friendship. I would not want the reminder of my one dick attempt around me all of the time." Santana laughed.

"I can't even picture you and Robbie together."

"Please don't," Santana laughed.

"So are you okay, hermana?"

"I'm okay, Luc."

"I'll be there on Thursday. Pepe can run the the restaurant for a few days, that's why I pay him the small potatoes."

"Don't you mean big bucks?"

"Nope, maybe once I'm fully up and running."

"Things are going good, right Luc?"

"Oh they're going great Santana, the buzz is excellent and people are excited for the expansions. The cigar bar and the reception hall will take this thing over the top. Every night someone comes in asking when the cigar bar will be ready. I notice that this is the choice for a lot of couples looking for a good date night close to home. I think it's going to be great."

"Glad to hear it Luc, and your cooking doesn't hurt. You're amazing you know that don't you?"

"So are you, hermana." Luciana replied, pulling Santana into a hug.

The ladies rejoin the group and the night out was exactly what Santana needed. The next day Brittany and Santana packed and were ready to leave for their Vegas wedding. Brittany was excited for many reasons. Her family had flown in, her brothers would be there, even Brooke and Erik would be staying at the hotel to be close to everyone. Juan and Isabella would be getting there early in support of Santana and also to await her surprise. Brittany and the Lopezes had decided that they would invite abuelo Ignacio to the rehearsal dinner so that he and Santana would have time to break the ice before the wedding. Meanwhile, Juan had his own conversation to have with the old man first.

Brittany was still not used to the high life. When Erik's personal driver picked Santana and Brittany up from the airport in his luxury car and whisked them off to the hotel where they were instantly treated like VIP's, well, Santana grew up with all of that sort of treatment. It was still a bit much for Brittany, especially how everyone there smiled so brightly at her. Yeah, the word had been trickling out that Erik had a daughter but it wasn't until Brooke and Erik had gotten married that everyone came to know exactly who Brittany was. After all, their first time staying there they were engaged in a murder plot. The second time she came back as the only child that the bride and groom shared, walking her mother down the aisle to her father. Now Brittany sees that when she walks into this place it's like the owner walking in, which is still so weird to her. Everyone clamoring to make sure that she and Santana don't so much as fart without someone there to spray some air freshener. It was a lot.

Santana noticed how uncomfortable Brittany had become and all she could do was smile and squeeze her hand.

"You okay, mi amor?"

"I'm okay."

"Not used to all of this attention, huh?"

"How do you get them to back off?"

Santana laughed, "It's just top notch customer service."

"I'm afraid if they keep smiling at me that their faces are going to crack. That will give me nightmares for sure."

"You may be their boss one day, Britt."

"I'm a data scientist, Santana."

"Data scientists can own hotels, Britt."

"Has my pop been talking to you about this hotel stuff again?"

"Nope, just messing with you, boss."

"Call me that in bed tonight," Brittany wiggled her eyebrows.

"Maybe you're cut off until the honeymoon," Santana smiled.

"Don't do me that way, Santana," Brittany pouted.

"I'm not doing you any way until the wedding night," Santana replied.

"Please tell me you're joking. You know how I love my strawberry ice cream when we're in hotel rooms, Santana."

"You like strawberry ice cream anywhere, Britt."

"True."

"But I'll make you a deal, if I find you utterly irresistible I'll let you sneak a little quickie. Maybe I'll let you ride my thigh like a jockey again."

"Never gonna let me live that down."

"Nope," Santana smiled. "Come on boss, show me to our room. We can relax and order a ton of free food so we can be rested for whatever Robbie has planned for us."

"Sounds like a plan, future Mrs. Lopez-Pierce," Brittany smile, taking Santana's hand and leading the way.

Santana and Brittany got settled in and then met up with Brooke and Erik for lunch. They showed the ladies the reception hall where the rehearsal dinner and wedding would take place and how everything would be set up. They showed them where they would have the cocktail hour and the actual reception. They followed up on the flowers and the menu and the cake. Most of all, they made sure their dresses had reached the venue in tact.

After all of the business was settled the two couples had a nice dinner and then Erik and Brooke retired to their suite for the evening. Santana and Brittany were excited but they settled down as well. They knew that the Lopezes would be there early the next morning, and so they decided to get a good night's sleep. They had a long 4 days ahead of them.

The next morning Brittany and Santana woke early to a nice breakfast that Erik had sent to their suite. Once they had showered and dressed for the day Santana waited for her parents to arrive. They were going to have a tasting for both the rehearsal and wedding dinners. There were also a lot of surprises ahead for the two ladies.

By late morning the Lopezes had arrived. While they were out going over everything with Isabella and having the tastings with their parents Ignacio Lopez would be arriving. Brittany's brothers would personally see that her surprise remains hidden and comfortable just one floor below where the rest of the wedding guests would be staying. The hardest part would be keeping the eldest Lopez from the casino. It had been years since he'd been to Vegas, years since he had been to the states, and it reminded him that he missed it all.

The tasting was just a formality. Erik made sure that there would be anything and everything that Brittany and Santana would want right at their fingertips. He wasn't going to let them mess up the food, not when it's Brittany's most favorite part of any gathering. He just wanted them to choose what would be their main course for each night, but there would be all of the options that Brittany could imagine. Erik's only daughter, his first born, was getting married, right in the town where she was born. Brittany had done all of those things to bring Santana home on her journey and now here Brittany is, finally home with her papa. In Erik's mind Orlando was never her home, never meant to be her home. Here, with him, this is home, and he gets to walk his daughter down the aisle in just a couple of days.

After the tasting Santana joined Juan and Isabella in their suite. Brittany went to spend some time with her brothers who kind of wanted a little time alone with her outside of the bachelorette party. They wanted to build a relationship with her the way they had been able to do with one another, especially after the rocky start she'd had with Alec. They decided they would give her a proper tour of all of their father's casinos and hotels, which she'd never had. Secretly it's something that Erik wanted them to do. His heart dreams of a day when all of his kids can work together, his legacy complete. Brooke, on the other hand, worries that his boys will be drawn into his mob business, and she doesn't want Brittany anywhere near that. She knows that Brittany's brilliance with numbers will be really attractive to the criminal element. Still, she trusts that Brittany is not only smart enough but has enough smart people around her who care that will make sure she never falls blindly into any traps. She knows that Erik is one of those people, and so Brooke has to cautiously step back and trust that things will be okay.

"Look at you, Santana Marie, you are glowing!" Isabella smiled as Juan pulled her into a hug.

"You look happy mija," Juan stated.

Isabella had tears in her eyes. "Juan..."

"Aye Dios Mio," Juan laughed, rolling his eyes. "Bella, you've been crying for days, save some tears for the wedding."

"I can't believe it, mi amor, not only is our only baby getting married, we will be there. Do you know how I worried that when the time came we wouldn't even know?" Isabella remembered sadly.

"I'm sorry mami, I was young and foolish. I'm a woman now, and this woman couldn't imagine doing this without the two of you by my side, without my family and friends."

Isabella was still silently crying as Juan stepped back and allowed Isabella in for a much needed hug from her daughter alone. Soon they all sat and chatted for a few moments before Juan looked at Isabella and the woman shook her head at her husband letting him know she thought that this would be a good time to speak to her about something.

"Mija, Maria Ramirez came by to see us last week."

"What? Why? Is everything okay?" Santana asked, worried that this had something to do with the shooting.

"Everything is fine, mija. She is doing well. She's all healed up now and settling up her affairs. Her house is up for sale and she said she's thinking of moving to California to start fresh, just like you and Valentina dreamed of once upon a time. Santana, she came by because she heard about your wedding and she wanted to fulfill a promise." Juan said.

"A promise?"

"Si, mi amor. She visited with us for quite a while and we all talked about many things, but mainly we spoke about you and Valentina. She wanted to give you something." Juan stood and walked to his briefcase and removed a sealed envelope.

"I wasn't sure about giving this to you, mija, not now, but your mami said now would be best. I want all of your focus on you and Brittany, you've both worked so hard to reach this moment, but your mami said that you could handle it. Your mami said that if anything would solidify for you that you have healed and moved on this would. Also, I cannot keep secrets from you mija, and so this has to be, and I can only hope that we're doing the right thing." Juan handed Santana the envelope and her eyebrows furrowed curiously.

"She spoke to us a lot about Valentina knowing that being married to Manuel would mean that she would not have a long or a happy life. When you first left it was like she became even closer to her mother, having also lost Luciana and Roberto at the same time for a while. She turned to her mother's love and comfort and she prepared herself for her new life." Juan continued.

Santana opened the large envelope and inside saw a smaller white one. On the outside was a very familiar handwriting, neat and beautiful, just like the girl who wrote it.

Santana gasped. "Papi, papi what is this?" Santana asked, putting the envelope down and taking a step back.

"Valentina knew, just as you said, that she would not live long. She kept her affairs in order. She began saving money and taking her most expensive jewelry and putting things aside for the moment she died. She knew she would never have children, but she wanted her mother to have a nest egg, something to leave her father with and start over if she ever found the strength. Apparently Ramirez made sure his family had the best because to not do so would be an embarrassment but he never let them have much cash. He financially controlled them, especially once he knew they hated him. So Valentina saved, just as you had taught her, Maria said. When you saved in order to make a life for you and Valentina, apparently she listened even when you thought that she wasn't listening." Juan said.

Santana sat silently, unable to take her eyes off of the envelope.

"When she lived with Manuel she had just a little more freedom, a little more power, because Luis and the Martinezes needed her for different reasons, and she no longer lived in Luis' house. She had a little more access to money, a little more freedom to keep her secrets, and so she had a safe deposit box at the bank that she told Maria to access if something happened to her. That was inside the box." Juan continued.

"Valentina told Maria that she had said everything that she needed to say to her, to Luciana, to Roberto and to Danny. They were the closest people to her at the end of her life. There was only one person that she couldn't say the things that she needed to say to, and that was you. So she made Maria make her a promise, that if you ever came home, and if she found out that you had learned to love someone again, to give that letter to you." Isabella chimed in.

"If I ever fell in love again?" Santana asked, confused.

"Si, mi amor," Isabella added, coming over to sit next to her daughter. "She told Maria she only wanted you to have it when you found the courage to move on, when she wasn't holding you back any longer."

"What does it say?" Santana asked, her voice small.

Isabella took her hand. "That is between you and Valentina. If you don't want to open it now, if you don't want to open it ever, that is fine. It's all up to you, mija. Process it, let us know if you need us, do whatever your heart tells you to do. You've come a long way, you fought like hell to get to this place, and I have faith that your healing is real and nothing can take that from you now."

Santana shook her head affirmatively.

"Do you need anything from us mija?" Juan asked.

"I'm fine papi, just caught off guard and a little shocked. I don't understand why Maria didn't mention this to me when she first saw me, don't understand why she was told to wait until I fell in love again. It doesn't make sense."

"Valentina had her reasons, and I'm sure that they're in that letter. When you're ready for your answers you will open it and hopefully find them. There was no way for Maria to know when you had fallen in love again until she heard that you were getting married. Maria was just trying to honor her daughter's last wish. There was no way Valentina could have imagined that her father and the Martinezes would all follow her to the grave so quickly after she was gone. There was no way for her to know if you had already found love while you were away or how soon after her death you would find it. I'm sure that this letter was closure for her, and she was hoping that it would be closure for you too. The way you two left things, it was a bitter pill to swallow. She probably needed to write this to cleanse her soul even if she never truly knew if you would read it." Isabella said, rubbing her daughter's back.

"I'm going to go to my room for a while." Santana said, kissing her mother on the cheek before standing.

"Are you okay, mija?" Juan asked.

"You don't have to keep asking me that papi, I'm fine. I'm over this, I'm over her, she just keeps... fuck! Sorry mami."

"It's okay Santana."

"She keeps what, Santana?" Juan asked.

"She keeps reminding me that she knew she was dying. How does someone live like that, just waiting to die, just wasting your life away instead of doing something, instead of fighting?" Santana asked angrily.

"Mija, I know how this troubles you, how sometimes you make peace with it and sometimes you just don't understand it. Maybe you finally find understanding in that letter, maybe you never truly find it, but Valentina, one thing I've learned about her since her passing, especially after speaking with Maria, Valentina was a soldier. She was fighting a war, a war that was bigger than her. Soldiers want to live, but they are always prepared to die for a cause that matters to them. They expect to die, because they are the one in the trenches doing the dirty work. Santana, you just have to accept that it doesn't matter if you believe that whatever she chose to die for was worth it, it only matters that she believed it. It was her choice, her life to give, and she gave it nobly for whoever or whatever she chose to give her one life for. Respect that, mi amor, without judgement. I will be honest and I think I speak for your mami as well when I say we sometimes judged her harshly. We didn't have the entire story, we probably still don't, but speaking with Maria and understanding all of the things we've learned since her passing, I don't think that we've always judged her fairly. We never got to hear her side of things, to hear her speak her voice without fears attached. Maybe she finally will speak to you without fear in that letter. I hope so, mi amor. Just take your time and let the anger subside. Go into it with an open mind and maybe you'll finally understand her in a way you never knew you could. If you loved her don't make light of what she felt was important enough to give everything for. I think we all had hoped for Valentina to be what we wanted her to be, and I think she was who she needed to be, even if that wasn't the person she herself wanted to be. I think many of us have felt that way at one time or another, just imagine feeling that way your entire life. With you, maybe even with Luciana, she got to be free, to be herself, if even for a short while. She and Luciana had their say, that was between them. You had yours as well. I guess she just wanted to have hers when the end came and it was safe to do so."

"What did Maria say to change your minds so much?"

"Just that what she did, in her heart she really believed she did for you more than for anyone in this world. That Luis would never have left you two alone, that he would have done anything to tear you apart no matter how far you ran. Maybe in the past that threat would have meant nothing. Maybe my pride wouldn't let me believe that he would dare to cross me, but after what happened at her grave maybe she knew her father better than any of us did. Valentina and Maria got to see a cruelty that we thought was calculated but Maria assured me that both she and Valentina knew that the man was not of sound mind. They turned out to be correct. He shot at you, he shot his wife, he killed himself. Valentina saw him for who he really was and she gave her life to protect you from him and honestly, to protect him and her mother from me, because I would have killed them all Santana. So maybe she saved both you and me, because nothing could have saved her family from me if you had gotten hurt, no matter what it would have cost me. You were right, Santana, the times that you spoke about Valentina's sacrifice. It was noble, more noble than we will every truly know. We may have quietly thought that she was weak at times, but it's been proven time and time again how brave she was, and how she loved you more than we gave her credit for. I know what you saw in her, mija. You saw her silent strength, even if you didn't recognize what it was because it didn't align with what you wanted it to be. We were all guilty of that, and yet she still managed to laugh and smile and enjoy what she could in the world until the end. She was a very special girl, mija, and as you say she died for a purpose. A lot of evil and pain left this world after she did. She knew the monsters that she was dealing with and she knew what it took to contain them. She did what she needed to do, carino, and both your mother and I are sorry for judging your love so unfairly even if we never spoke our feelings out loud."

Santana was silent. She needed to think. She needed to hear this, Valentina's final words to her. She would be lying if she wasn't curious about the things that Valentina and Luciana talked about. She would be lying if she didn't admit that she was a little envious that Luciana and Valentina had closure but she didn't have the chance to air things out with Valentina. How Luciana always would say they resolved things and they understood one another. It made her think, is that something she has been longing for as well? What is this peace that Luciana made with her? She knew it was not her business to ask. They had what they had, they gave one another what they wanted one another to have. Santana had no place in that. That belonged to Luciana, and if she had wanted to share the things they confided in one another she would have long ago. What Luciana gave Santana in that letter was all she wanted her to have and Santana knew she had to accept that. Now here Valentina is again, reaching out from beyond the grave and having her say. Santana knows that she will read it. Santana has always known that she wanted to sit across from Maria the way her parents had and speak with the woman. Santana also knows that she had to put everything aside and focus on the life she wants not the life she had. She and Brittany are partners now. They have been for a long time. They will be for life in just a couple of days. She's going to read this, she needs to, but first she wants to talk to Brittany. She wants to know what, if anything, this may make her feel after all of the healing they had done to get where they were today, after all of the effort that Brittany had made.

Santana went back to her room, her eyes roaming over to the dresser where the letter sat more often than she would like to admit. Santana decided to give Roberto a call. She didn't want to call Luciana. Luciana had her own wounds to heal, her own intimate relationship with Valentina. She knows that Luciana downplays the time that she spent with Valentina. She knows that while it may not have been love, it was a deep intimacy, and some things may be hard for her to share with Santana, the woman who loved her first.

"Hola, que bola, asere?" (what's up, buddy?")

"Hola Rrroberto," Santana smiled just at the sound of the man's voice. This is who Robbie was to her, somebody who always lightened her load.

"Why the hell are you calling me when you're in sin city about to get married? You should be out stuffing dollar bills in some woman's underwear."

"Did that to Brittany last night," Santana smiled.

"I'm trying not to have that visual about my best friend's future wife," Robbie said. "I'm kind of failing, though," he added.

"Can't wait to see you, Robbie," Santana added.

"What's wrong, Santana?"

"Nothing."

"Santana..."

Santana sighed. "Maria Ramirez went to see my parents. Valentina apparently left me a letter."

Robbie was silent.

"You knew?" Santana asked breathlessly.

"No, hermana, I didn't know. I did know that she wanted to say some things to you."

"Robbie, what are you holding back from me?"

"Nothing Santana."

"Robbie please."

"Santana, just wait until I get there. I'll be there tomorrow."

"Robbie..."

"Santana, I'm in the office so there are people around. Give me 10 minutes. I'll go to my office and we can Facetime, okay?"

"Sorry, didn't know you were already at work."

"That's no matter, Santana. I always have time for you, hermana."

"Te amo, hermano."

"Everything is going to be okay, Santana. Everything is okay."

Robbie hung up and Santana sat and waited. A few minutes later Robbie called. Santana had to smile, seeing the man sit in his neat office, resting his back against a large leather chair. The office that has a picture of the four of them hanging on his wall, so young and care free.

"What do you know about this, Robbie?"

"I didn't know she wrote you anything, Santana. Valentina, as you know, she knew her time here would be short. For some reason she just seemed to be planning for it. She would have her time with Luciana, and they would bring me along on those girl's trips, for appearances, so no one would suspect what the two of them had become to one another. She would have these deep conversations with people, about life and regrets and living in the present because the future wasn't promised. About the things she wished for us," Robbie paused, sadness consuming him. Santana waited patiently, tears in her eyes.

"She was carrying a lot, Santana. Her life had become this routine of monthly trips with Luciana and I, or monthly encounters with Manuel when she was ovulating. She hated it, and I know in my heart that it was no coincidence that Manuel's lover knew they would be sleeping together that night. Them being together was never a spontaneous thing. Valentina was adamant that he not touch her at any other time. In the beginning Manuel was not happy, but he knew the rules before he married her. People thought that Valentina was weak, maybe even stupid, but soon it became clear to us that she was smarter than we all knew. Marrying Manuel gave her some power with Manuel. He needed that baby for Luis to truly consider him family, to truly let him into the inner workings of the Ramirez family. Manuel needed it, Miguel needed it, even Luis needed it, because he needed some blood heir for his family and to know that the Martinezes would not get everything he worked for when he died. A blood heir would give him more control over the Martinezes because even in death or divorce that child would remain a Ramirez. Valentina also knew if she ever had that baby her power would be gone. She stood her ground, and to her a few minutes a month of Manuel Martinez was worth the first bit of power over her life that she ever felt that she had."

Santana felt both anger and sadness at hearing this.

"How did he treat her, Robbie. Was he as abusive as Luis was?"

"No Santana, surprisingly they learned to leave one another to their own devices. He was quite indignant when they first got together, trying to force his heterosexuality on her. His hatred grew for you in the beginning, when it became how clear that every time he touched her she became more and more repulsed by it. Still, he couldn't get violent or abusive with her, Luis Ramirez may not have cared for his wife and daughter but his reputation demands that if someone ever treated them poorly he would have to act simply for appearances. So Manuel played the dutiful husband in public, as everyone knew he had a family he kept not far away. Meanwhile, Luciana and Valentina had their trips, and once that started Valentina had her taste of happiness in her life."

"Okay"

"She began to heal the relationships that she could. I know for a fact that she and Luciana had some long, healing conversations, just the two of them. Their relationship was sexual, yes, but it was far more emotional than anything. They each filled a broken place in one another, and I know in my heart that's why Luciana reached out to her in the first place. We would see her at events, looking miserable, a sad smile on her face when she would see us. Maybe nobody else could see it but Luciana and I could. Luciana needed her back as much as Valentina needed us. So Luciana made the first move. She approached her at a party, being typical Luciana, even though she didn't want to cause any trouble for Valentina. She walked right up to her when the Martinezes and Ramirez were right there and she said "Hola Valentina. It's been too long. If you want to talk my number hasn't changed. Call me, hermana." Then she spun around and walked away like the daughter of Pedro Rodriguez," Robbie laughed. "Aye, you two don't know how sexy it is when you do that shit."

Santana smiled. That's her Robbie, even in such a deep moment the man can't help but to appreciate a beautiful woman.

"So they talked, and talked and talked, and after they became intimate the conversations became even more intimate, to the point that Luciana no longer shared much of what they spoke about with anyone else, not even me. They became..." Robbie paused, looking for the right word.

"More," Santana added simply.

"Yes, more," Robbie agreed, unable to find a better way to describe them. "When they became more than friends, I guess sometimes it was hard to talk to one another as just a friend. She and I didn't have that problem."

Santana shook her head knowingly.

"Luciana began to sound a lot like you, not the running away to get married part, just the running away part. She wanted to help her get out. To hell with divorce. She wanted to send her off somewhere alone, anywhere in the world, to help her get her life started. She couldn't understand why she needed to stay. You were gone. She was a secret, or at least secret enough not to bruise Manuel and Luis' egos, Luciana just wanted her to go."

"So why the hell didn't she?"

"Valentina had her reasons, Santana, and she had her secrets, her own demons to slay. They were not for you, or Luciana, or even me to help her face. That was Ramirez family business. You know how it works. Even when you and Valentina were together, you were a Lopez first. Your loyalty was to the Lopez family. She never made you choose, never made Luciana choose, but even if you two thought you were doing the right thing, you were forcing her to choose, and she chose to deal with Ramirez family business, because she was a Ramirez first. You have to respect that, Santana, because you would have done the same. It doesn't matter how she felt, in that world perception is everything. Valentina was a Ramirez, and she had to be that to the world, even if she had to push you away to do it. You would not have let the world believe you chose the Ramirez family by choosing Valentina. You would not have given anyone that advantage over the Lopezes and made your papi look weak in that way. Ramirez would have had to do something to level the playing field again."

Santana thought about those words for a moment. She had never thought of it that way. She had always thought that she was putting their love first, but in reality she knows that she was also protecting the interests of the Lopez family at the same time. Valentina did not want a war. Valentina did not want her family in danger either. At the end of the day Valentina was trying to be the Ramirez that kept everything from falling apart in a heap of violence.

"So what did you know about this letter, Robbie?"

"I didn't know anything about the letter, Santana, really hermana. I knew she would ask if any of us knew where you were, or had heard from you. I knew she said that she had so much she needed to say to you, maybe more for her own benefit than yours. She was happy she had her say with Luciana and I, happy that she heard from our own mouths how she had hurt us and had the chance to tell us how we had hurt her. She needed that, she needed that most of all with the woman she loved the most. Luciana and Valentina loved one another, undoubtedly, but most of all at the end of the day they were each place holders for one another for the hole you left behind in their lives. She needed closure with you, Santana, and I guess she got it in some sense by leaving a letter that she hoped one day would reach you."

Santana was silent for a moment.

"Okay."

"Okay? Santana, are you alright?"

"I'm okay Robbie, thanks."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No."

"Santana?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you have questions, lots of them, you probably always will, but I don't want to hurt you with tales of whatever I witnessed with Valentina and Luciana. I think they held back in some ways because of thoughts of you as well. None of us ever wanted to hurt you Santana, and Luciana and I don't want to hurt you now. I don't know what you and Luciana have discussed about it all, but Santana I want you to know that nobody ever set out to hurt you. I just have to make that clear once again."

"I know Robbie. Oddly, the thought of them together doesn't hurt. Oddly when I think back on us then it seems so long ago. It's strange, but only Brittany fills that role now, and she's all I can see in that way."

"That's good, hermana."

"Valentina is like a teacher to me now, someone who guided me through such a crucial stage in my life, teaching me some beautiful lessons as well as some painful ones. I know it sounds crazy and maybe nobody truly believes me, but at the end of the day I'm very glad that Luciana and Valentina had each other. I'm not just saying that. They gave each other something I couldn't give them, and I'm happy Robbie, I ended up so happy. Loving Brittany is so effortless, and what Valentina and I had was so damn complicated."

"That's good hermana, and I believe you, I know that Luciana does as well."

"Good"

"So why the call, why the panic and stress?"

"I'm afraid of what she had to say to me, Robbie. I guess I just want to know was she angry at me. Robbie, will whatever is in that letter hurt me?"

"It probably will, Santana, but not because of anger. You know how Valentina was, she didn't have a spiteful bone in her body, but if I had to guess hermana I would guess that it will hurt, to hear her words, her voice, knowing how it all ends for her. It will hurt, but maybe it's just the hurt you need. Maybe she needed to say what she needed to say so that now you could finally understand her. Maybe she didn't need to hear you reply because she always understood you."

"She didn't think I understood her?" Santana asked sadly.

"You couldn't understand why, none of us could. I still can't sometimes. What I do understand now is that she has never been weak."

"Si, me too Robbie."

"So take your time, Santana. Figure out what would be best for you, and then read it, and remember, she would never hurt you Santana. She wasn't capable, and by the time she had written that I know she had forgiven what happened on coming out night. She even learned to laugh about the audacity the 3 of you had that night. She stood up for herself that night Santana, even if you and Luciana couldn't see past the Manuel Martinez of it all. She left his side, after she had made her deal with those three devils, and she let them know they would not stop her from feeling what she felt for you, for women, ever. She came out that night Santana. She had a public rendezvous with you. All you could see was what was lost that night, but she had a victory, even if it didn't seem like it to you. Can you see that now?"

Santana thought for a moment. "I see it, Robbie."

"Don't overthink it, Santana. You go somewhere and have a moment alone, and you read it. You take it in and if you want to discuss it with anyone afterwards you know that everyone is here for you. You call me, and I will leave for Vegas early. I would be there tonight if you needed me hermana. I would leave right now."

"I know Robbie. No, I will see you tomorrow. Thank you, Robbie."

"Te amo Santana."

"Te amo, Robbie."

After the two hung up Santana decided to try and rest her mind, as had been her intention while Brittany was swooped away by the younger Eriksen men. Santana thought she may need the sleep, because if this were some sort of pre bachelorette party and she came home late and a little tipsy it had been her experience that Brittany would also come home frisky and horny in those moments, and so Santana wanted her rest. She also knew that this meant that it wouldn't be the best time to try and have a conversation with her. She couldn't imagine Alec getting too loose, and Malik may be of legal drinking age now but he still grew up the grandson of a preacher and was pretty much on the straight and narrow. It was Nickolas who she imagined getting Brittany in the most trouble, or it just might be the other way around.

Soon Santana drifted off to sleep. While she slept her surprise arrived, checking into a suite a floor below the wedding party. Juan went to greet his father, who he was more excited to see than he would admit to being. The same could be said of the old man. It was not the Lopez way to show such emotions, to admit to feeling the loss of someone in their life. It took time with the Lopezes, and so Isabella was happy that this meeting could take place privately, before Santana knew that Ignacio was in the states.

When Juan had gotten the call that his father had reached his room, he and Isabella went to greet the man. He was much as Juan remembered him, except he had a head full of mostly silver hair now. Still, it looked good on him, and he looked healthy. The man was wearing his traditional Cuban hat, as he had done all of Juan's life. It's a trait that Juan had picked up as well, appreciating a nice canotier like his papi was wearing sometimes but preferring his Panama hats most of all. The old man lit up when he opened the door and saw his son standing there, looking every bit like he did as a young man, and the sight warmed his heart and caused a very familiar smile to cross his face, a smile he shared with both Juan and Santana.

Ignacio pulled both Juan and Isabella into a deep hug, kissing both of them on their cheeks before stepping aside and allowing them to enter into the room. After many pleasantries were exchanged and the 3 caught up for about 30 minutes Isabella excused herself so the men could speak alone.

"So mijo, you finally sold my business?"

"No, I sold MY business"

"The family business."

"Yes, I sold the family business, and I now own or partially own countless legitimate ventures."

"So you're out? You're looking well, what makes you think they won't call you back to duty?"

"I appealed to their sensibilities. Sometimes a person can beat cancer, and sometimes cancer comes back for a rematch. If the cancer returned they would have to go through this all again. Pedro is perfectly healthy and capable, and he has Jorge as his number 2, who has been with us almost from the beginning and is loyal, healthy, and a few years younger than us. They have been very pleased with him, trust me I checked. I needed to make sure he was in good standing before I took my final bow from the operation. All is well. I am a civilian. Whatever life I have left belongs to my family now."

"Well done."

"Almost dying amounts to me doing something well?"

"Negotiating your way out alive, mijo. Whatever gives you the life you want."

"Si"

"I was worried about you, mijo. I couldn't understand why you would not accept my visit."

"Visits are for those who accept that they are dying. I had no intention of going without a fight."

"Was happy to hear of your recovery. I'd heard that you had lost a lot of weight."

"Si. You didn't need to see me that way."

"Believe me mijo, I saw you and I knew you would make it." Ignacio replied, something behind his eyes.

"How?"

"Your body looked weak but your eyes were strong."

Juan shook his head in agreement, and looking at the man it felt like he almost knew what he had done. It would not surprise him, as a child her could read him like no other could. Still, he knew his father would never speak any suspicions. He wouldn't need to know details, he would only care that Juan was okay, and clearly he was.

"So, mi Santanita is getting married. She's getting married to a powerful man's daughter. Not a bad connection for the Lopez family to have."

"It's the Rodriguez family now."

"It will always be the Lopez family, no matter what they call it."

"As long as my daughter is far away from it all I really don't care what they call it."

"That's who this was all about."

"Absolutely, money and power mean very little to Santana."

"And yet she always falls in love with rich and powerful women."

"Her bride grew up neither rich nor powerful, and Valentina may have had access to wealth, but her power was quiet and well hidden until her final days on Earth."

"Sometimes the most powerful chess piece on the board is the pawn."

"Indeed"

"I know that relations with the Ramirezes have always been strained. How are your relations with the Eriksens?"

"I have no work relations with The Viking. Because of Santana and Brittany the families have a bond, and I'm sure that will serve Pedro well if he ever needs it. Still, it will have to be a powerful need for either man to use that connection. We are family in the traditional sense now. That is how our girls would like it to be. Speaking of our girls, we need to talk." Juan added, standing and going to the bar to pour out drinks for each of them.

"Is that Cuban rum?" Ignacio smiled brightly.

"The Viking is an excellent host."

"I like him already. Sit mijo. Let's talk, and leave the bottle."

Juan sat across from his father and began to speak.

"Santana is going to be very wary of you and your views."

"I want my only grandchild to be happy, it's all I've ever wanted."

"What happened between you two, Santana never speaks of, but I know your feelings. I know your views."

"You don't know everything, Juan, and you don't need to know. I will speak to Santana directly."

"That's where you're wrong. If it is something that jeopardizes my daughter's happiness I absolutely need to know."

"Do you think I came all of this way to cause my granddaughter pain as she celebrates her love with her partner?"

"No, but since that partner happens to be a woman."

"She doesn't just happen to be a woman, I've come to terms long ago that Santana would spend her life with a woman. It's not by chance."

"Nor by choice. She is who she is."

Ignacio's silence was deafening.

"You do understand that she is who she is, verdad?"

"I do, more than you know, mijo."

"What do you mean?"

"It's time I talk to my granddaughter. I will sort things out with her first, you and I have time once we get these ladies married."

"You will give her what she needs correcto? Santana has been through a lot, and she has healed her relationships with a lot of people. Her future bride has helped her immensely with that. You are one of the last people she needs to make peace with, but your granddaughter is very much a Lopez. She will get rid of you no matter how much she loves you if it gives her a better sense of control over her happiness and peace. She has gotten rid of all of us at one time or another. If you want her back in your life, it's you who will have to open the door to healing your relationship. Frankly speaking, Santana won't give a shit if she doesn't get you back. She will, deep down inside, but you will never know. She will send you back across that water to Cuba without so much as a second look if you came here to argue her sexuality with her. I'm just warning you. That is who your granddaughter is. You should keep that in mind when you speak to her."

"She sounds like she could have run our family just fine."

"Even better than I could, I truly believe, and you know as well as I know that she would never want such a thing, and I never wanted it for her."

"Yes, our drug counselor."

"She is so much more than that. She is a social worker, and she is passionate. I've seen her at work."

"She is a Lopez."

"You will find out how true that is soon enough, I'm sure." Juan said, grabbing the bottle and pouring them both another drink.

Brittany's day started off calmly enough, with her brothers taking the time to show her around each of their father's four casinos. While she had been to Vegas a couple of times since she and Erik had met, she had surprisingly never seen all of his casinos and hotels. They had lunch at one of his hotels and casinos and then went to another and did a little gambling. Brittany being a numbers person loves blackjack and she usually comes out ahead given enough time, and so after about 90 minutes at the table she took her $1600 profit and continued the day with her brothers, knowing that depending on what debauchery Robbie had planned at least $600 of that money would end up stuffed in some stripper's crotch just to be polite and the other $1000 would end up in Santana's later that night.

As the afternoon progressed Brittany felt like she was getting to know her brothers better than she had during any of the past times they had spent together. There was a comfort there. They felt like family to her, truly, in every way, as if these three men had not been introduced to her just a few short years ago. She had watched Malik grow the most, a high school graduation behind him and a college graduation coming up soon. Nickolas and Alec were doing well working for Erik, and Brittany was getting a better understanding of their personalities. They interacted like brothers and sister, and this day was solidifying that.

"Rev, you gonna toast your big sis getting wifed up this weekend? I'm sure Jesus won't mind if you have one. He turned water into wine after all," Nickolas joked, calling Malik by the nickname they'd given him as the grandson of a preacher. Because of that the Eriksen boys called him Reverend, or Rev for short.

"You know BB is probably going to pass out trying to outdrink Brittany. Who is going to drag his corpse back to our suite if I'm drunk?" Malik replied. "Not your puny ass," Malik added, to the delight of his big sister.

"Listen, our big sister is marrying the woman of our dreams. She is setting the standard for every woman the Eriksens bring home from now on, and secretly breaking BB's heart because he totally is crushing on his future sister in law. We gotta celebrate big tonight."

"I'm not crushing on my sister in law."

"Oh, you're totally crushing on her," Nickolas said and Malik laughed. "The way you straighten up your tie whenever she looks your way is a dead giveaway. That shit is hilarious."

"It's okay BB, my future wife is hot," Brittany smiled, patting the man on the back.

"I am not crushing on your wife, and stop calling me BB!"

They all had a good laugh at Alec's expense.

"Listen, If you three try and kill me before Robbie even has a chance Santana will kick each and every one of your asses, and she can do it too because I taught her personally."

"Look at BB getting excited at the thought of Santana kicking his ass," Nickolas joked.

Brittany smiled, "You have great taste BB. Anyway, what's going to happen is you're going to save the festivities for bachelorette night, and then your only job as my little brothers will be to make sure I make it to that rehearsal dinner alive the next night. So for now you three degenerates can forget whatever trouble you're trying to make for me and get me back to the beautiful Ms. Lopez."

"C'mon sis," Nickolas whined.

"Why the hell would she want to be here with us when she has Santana waiting for her in a hotel room? Please Britt, help this man understand how women work," Alec complained.

"Of course you would be the one to say that," Nickolas smirked.

"BB is right," Malik added. "Let's get Britt back to the hotel, she has a lot to do I'm sure."

"Stop calling me BB," Alec replied.

"Not a chance in hell," Brittany replied, and they all laughed as they headed towards the car.

Santana was stressing over her vows again when Brittany walked in the door, quickly putting them away when her bride to be came over to kiss her.

"You're back early," Santana said, kissing Brittany softly on the lips.

"I wasn't going to let them drag me all over town. We just got to Vegas, saving it for tomorrow night."

"Awww, they just wanted to spend time with their big sister."

"And they did, and they will again, tomorrow night. I just wanted to spend time with you. Whatcha writing?" Brittany asked teasingly, trying to peak over her shoulder and reach for the paper.

"Grocery list," Santana answered, pulling the paper back.

"Na aw, you hiding something from me?" Brittany asked playfully. "Because I know you can't be rewriting your vows yet again."

"Nope, no vows. Just a reminder to buy milk when we get home."

"Smart, I'd like you to add a thong and some whipped cream to that list please," Brittany said, kissing Santana softly again. "Did you want to go hang out for a while?"

"Not really honey."

"What's on your mind? Cold feet?"

"Only when you steal all of the covers."

"That would be you, future Mrs. Lopez-Pierce."

"What have you been up to all day?"

"Hung out with my parents for a while. Then spoke to Robbie on the phone for a bit."

"Great, how is he doing? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine. He, Luciana, Danny, Quinn and Tubbs will be here early tomorrow morning. Imani and Blaine should be here in the afternoon."

"Excellent, so now are you ready to tell me what you're sitting around thinking about, besides your vows for the thousandth time?"

"We can't all write our vows in 5 minutes," Santana rolled her eyes.

"Look, I love you. It was easy. I promise to love, honor and give you multiple orgasms. What else is there to say?"

"That'll do it," Santana smiled.

"So you promise the same and then I ride your thigh off into the sunset, it's that simple."

Santana laughed.

"Now, is there anything else I can help you with?" Brittany asked playfully.

"As a matter of fact there is," Santana answered seriously.

"And what would that be, my love?"

"I got one last letter to cherish with the others. It was very late, but it certainly belonged amongst the others."

"From who?" Brittany asked, thinking that maybe her surprise, Ignacio Lopez, had added his say to the journey. She'd thought about asking him if their conversation went well, since Santana always talks about feeling so blessed to have those letters and how everybody should have something like that from the people they love. Still, she'd be kind of pissed if it's from Ignacio because that would ruin the surprise, and so Brittany couldn't imagine who it was from.

"Valentina"

"What Santana? What are you talking about?"

"Maria Ramirez came to see my parents. She had a letter from Valentina that apparently I was supposed to get when I fell in love again."

"Wow, and how was she supposed to know when that was?" Brittany asked.

"I guess when I was planning a wedding."

Brittany shook her head in understanding, but remained quiet.

"Are you angry?"

"Why would I be angry, love?" Brittany asked sincerely.

"My ex keeps coming back to haunt us."

"Don't say that Santana. You know, maybe if it were Maya, or even Luciana, and your closure couldn't happen in a timely manner, well maybe I would feel something then, I don't know. This is so different, though. This is someone you lost, someone I watched you mourn and rediscover in new ways and get over in the healthiest way you knew how. It's not the same as dealing with the loss of a person you can sit down and resolve your past with. This comes in pieces, in stages, and you put yourself back together again like a puzzle whenever you're lucky enough to be blessed with a new piece. You've done really well, moving forward, but I know you have questions that you thought would just never get answered in this lifetime. Now, maybe they will. This is a gift Santana, a wedding gift. You get to hear what she had to say to you, and I'm not threatened that a woman that is no longer here has any bearing on your love for me. I wouldn't even feel threatened if she were here, because I know you love me most of all now. If her memory, her place in your heart disturbed me I wouldn't have proposed to you. It's okay Santana, really. I'm happy for you. I got Danny back and this gives you something you lost back, the chance to maybe know how she felt in the end about what happened between you two. I think it will do more good than anything else, Santana. I think it's the one thing you needed that everybody thought you'd never get."

"Why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Perfect"

"I'm not perfect, Santana, I just hope I'm perfect for you."

"You are, mi amor."

"So are you okay? Have you read it? Do you want me here with you or do you want to do it alone? Just tell me what you need Santana, and I'll be there for you."

Santana stood and pulled Brittany into a hug.

"This is all I need right now baby. This is all I'll ever need."

The ladies held on to one another for a while before breaking free.

"I had planned on dropping in and annoying my parents for about an hour, but why don't I cut that in half and go for about half an hour, just to make sure that things are going okay and the plans my father arranged to bring everyone in is all set. Then I'll make sure they have the cars ready to pick up Blaine and Imani when their flights arrive." Brittany said. It was all a ruse. She knew that everything was already taken care of. The group would be arriving on a private plane, and Blaine and Imani would be flying first class from their destinations. What she really wanted was a moment to meet up with the Lopezes. She wanted to meet Ignacio Lopez, to make sure all was well, because Santana just had another curveball thrown her way, and Brittany was once again feeling very protective of her lady love.

"Everything is fine, Britt. They have things under control."

"Yeah well, you rewrite your vows every 10 minutes and I chase everybody down making sure everything is perfect. We each have our ways of dealing with the anticipation of our wedding."

Santana smiled.

"Look, if you're up for it, read your letter. You don't have to overthink things. I'm not an insecure woman, I don't worry about losing you, not to another woman, dead or alive. Read your letter Santana, you need this, I know you do. I would never feel negatively about you getting something you need. This may be it, the last step, and that would be the best thing ever, to truly go into our new life together with a clean slate, with nothing unanswered. I got a gift people rarely get when Danny came back, now you get one too. You get to hear her voice. You get to hear her say goodbye. I really hope she says what you need to hear, what you need to learn. You'll never get to say it back and have her hear it but I have a feeling that she knew you better than you ever knew she did. Plus, you have Luciana, and while she can't really speak for her they probably got close enough for you to get the rest of what you need from her."

"Closer than I'll ever know."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Of course I am, just brought it up because Robbie mentioned it when he found out I had the letter as if he were preparing me to hear something I may not know. I know it's awkward but over time people will realize that I'm really okay with it all now. It's so crazy how far I've come, and so much of it is because of you. Nobody else could have helped me get through my shit the way you have. I had gotten so comfortable just living in it, unmotivated to get over it and start again. Valentina dying should have taken me to the bottom of that pit again but it didn't. It didn't because you came into my life all mysterious and sexy and you allowed me to get you through your hard time and you returned the favor by getting me through mine. I'm still in awe of it all, Britt."

"That's it, Santana. You just wrote your vows. You just said to me everything I needed to hear from you."

Santana smiled, "Damn, I love you so much."

"That's why I'm marrying you, and for the record, I love you so much too. Still not changing my vows."

Santana laughed, "At least consider taking out the orgasm thing."

"That's the best bit," Brittany frowned. "Kiss me and I'll consider it."

Santana pulled Brittany in the way that Santana loves Brittany to pull her in, and she kissed her future wife senseless.

"Holey moley," Brittany sighed.

"Holey moley," Santana replied.

Brittany pulled back and kissed Santana's hand. "I'll be back, gorgeous. Then we can release all of this sexual tension and I can take you to eat at all four of my father's buffets in one night. It's kind of a fantasy I have."

Santana laughed. "You're cut off until after the wedding."

"I rebuke that thought. Besides, I was just irresistible. Remember our agreement." Brittany said, pouting.

"I'll keep it on the table."

"We're gonna do it on the table?" Brittany looked at Santana hopefully.

"Get out pervert." Santana laughed.

"I'll be back in less than an hour babe, and you call me if you need me sooner."

"Si, mi amor."

Brittany kissed Santana and then walked out of the door. Santana went and grabbed the envelope and sat for a moment, thinking.

Santana didn't want to put it off any longer. She opened the envelope and gently removed the letter, smelling it and hoping she could still remember the scent that was burned into her brain. She did, even if in her heart she believed it was all an illusion.

Mi Reina,

When you finally have the chance to read this I'll be gone. You and I both knew that this day would come, and while you always tried to prevent my death I always knew that it would be a necessary evil. If I had told you such a thing you would never have accepted it. Still, some things aren't meant to be avoided. Some loss in life is inevitable. So it was either me or many others, and long ago I decided it would be me because we all have to die some day, and I know at least mine will have some meaning. Isn't that what you've always said, that our deaths must have meaning? Mine will, I promise you. I want you to know I'm okay with it. I want you to know that when it comes I welcome it. I want you to know that out of all of the lives that my death may save, yours is the one that keeps me strong.

I asked my mother to give you this letter whenever you fell in love again. You and my mother are the only two people I wrote. My mother, I know she loved me, that she tried to rain all of the love she had on me to make up for the fact that she stayed married to a man who hated both of us. I know the world believes she should have, that she could have, done something. She couldn't. Had she left him we both would have died. There would have been no place she could have hid. She had to stay and endure his beatings, his sexual assaults, his verbal bashings, his emotional executions, much of which I witnessed and heard, so much more that I never knew about I'm sure. She had to endure it if she wanted to live, but she never stopped looking for a way out. Santana, I never wanted you to be another woman that he had a way to control. I know that your papi is a powerful man but the only way he would have had any influence over a situation like this one would be to put many people in jeopardy. I couldn't allow that to happen Santana, not even for us.

Still, I want you to know that I wish I could have lived if only I could be with you. You were my joy in the world even when I lost you. I knew I could never lose you, mi reina. I knew that wherever you were you had me in your heart, and the fact that you loved me so deeply kept me strong always. I could endure anything, as long as I knew in the end you would be okay.

My mami had been with my papi since she was a child herself, escaping poverty and hopelessness by marrying him. She knew very early on that marrying him was a mistake, a mistake that will take her a lifetime to free herself from, or maybe even her own death. She gave him one child, and she named me Valentina, which means "strong", because she needed me to be strong in this world, in this family of mine. I know that so many people thought that I was the opposite of that, but I always knew my own strength. I always knew that some people would never see it because it wasn't the kind of strength they are used to in life, but sometimes people possess a strength in their spirit that people can't see or understand. That strength comes from putting something you love more than anything above yourself, like a mother does for her child, and as I gladly did for you, Santana.

I know that your strength is loud, it roars, and I love that about you, Santana, but he would have made your life hell. He would have hurt me just to hurt you. If my life had to be filled with pain no matter what, I did not need a partner in that pain. I already had one, my mami, I did not need to allow anyone else to be dragged into my pain.

As we got older, as it was time for us to step out and live our own lives, I knew that my father would follow me to the ends of the Earth to not allow me to have any joy. I knew that the only way for you to have any joy would be to push you far away and so I did. I held on to you as long as the universe would allow, but as my papi became more obsessed with selling me, because that's what I was to him-a business transaction with Manuel Martinez, he became more brutal. He became more physically abusive to both my mami and me, and when that didn't work he thought of ways to come after you, because it was the only way left to hurt me, the only way left to control me. He became more unstable and daily he threatened your safety, your happiness. The final straw was when he threatened you in the most obscene way.

My mami was encouraging me to run, to leave with you. She was hoping that eventually my papi would give up his obsession over us, but he never would, because us together ruined his plans. Because us together means that Juan Lopez beat him again. He would never allow that to go unchallenged. She and I had even come up with the idea of perhaps gathering incriminating evidence against him to keep him at bay, but that would have made us more enemies, powerful enemies, and I know that people would have died because of that, innocent people, as well as both my mother and I. For a moment I thought about running. Every moment I thought about running, because there was nothing in this world I wanted more than to be with you. I think he knew it, and it made him desperate. It made him hate you even more.

For the longest time his threats against you were emotional. He would make your heart suffer every day, he said. Then they became physical, he'd have you hurt, or killed, and your father would think it was random but it wouldn't be. I would have to live with knowing he was responsible. If you survived I'd have to look at you and every look would be a lie, concealing the truth. Then the threats became dark and diabolical, and that's when I knew our time together had come to an end. He was losing it, losing control. So I made a deal with the devil, with three of them actually, and hoped that good could still triumph in the end. Even if I'm gone now, I still hope for that.

I'm only telling you this because I want you to understand, and I want you to know that you were in danger and so it was time for me to go. It had gotten to the point where my papi was threatening to have someone rape you and to make sure that I was there to watch it happen. Santana, that would have been the death of me. I could not allow that to happen. I am willing to die to make sure that it never would. He would describe in detail at the dinner table the things he'd have done to you, the way he'd instruct them to violate you. He even threatened to have them beat me, just so no one would know he was behind it, because I deserved it for being an abomination. What kind of man would allow his daughter to suffer such a beating? He said that he would, because it would make you feel even weaker, being unable to protect me. It would take the last piece of dignity you had left from you, and he wanted it all. He wanted you broken, and I could not have that Santana. If I die to prevent that I will have accomplish all I ever needed to in my lifetime.

I couldn't tell anyone that, not ever. Only my mother and I could know, in order to protect ourselves, to protect you, and to protect countless deaths. I beg you to not tell anyone even when I'm gone, because it could still have consequences for a lot of people, both innocent and not so innocent. Please, if anything happens and someone does find out somehow, please watch over my mami, it's all I ask of you. She is doing her best to make sure nothing ever happens as well. She will lose her only child, that is a high enough price to pay. As long as I never speak to you again you are safe, and so I won't, except for now, after my death, when no one can hurt us anymore.

If I never fully hated my father before that day I did after, as I negotiated my life away. I would marry Manuel Martinez, but he wouldn't own me, and he wouldn't lay a hand on me. We would have sex when necessary to produce a child and nothing more, a child I'd secretly make sure he would never have. I would appear as his wife in every way in public but in private we would live separate lives. You warned me that he would never allow me to marry him and still sleep with you and that was probably true because of my father's insane hatred of you that he passed on to Manuel, but I was allowed my secrets.

Luciana became the only secret I needed to keep.

Marrying Manuel gave me some small level of power over my life. I had the power to file for divorce and not only would that be an embarrassment it would severely damage any dealings my papi had with the Martinez family. I became the glue that solidified their union, and oddly it gave me more power than I ever had with my father in my life before. The men and their small egos, it made it easy to take advantage of whatever leverage that gave me. I took my small victories. I won as many battles as possible even if I could never win the war. Eventually I felt like I won the war as well, because as long as you got away, as long as you get to live and thrive, I win. I love you and I if you win, I win, and that is more than enough for me. When you dare to love again, I win. I can't see it as a loss. I can't look at what I lost. I can rejoice in ever having loved you, and I win because you got away. I win because you went off, maybe to California like we planned, and you found love again. I win because you live life out and proud and happy. I win because you still get to have the ending we wanted, just with someone else.

And I win most of all because I know I didn't break you, because I never, ever wanted anyone to break you, mi amor especially not me.

I didn't know how to tell you why I was doing what I was doing and so I'm so sorry that I blindsided you. If I would have told you why you would have done something that would have set into motion a catastrophic chain of events and a lot of people would have gotten hurt. My father had an unnatural hatred for you and it was because of your strength. The thing he hated about you was the thing that drew me in so deeply with you.

Santana, you have the type of strength and confidence that they attribute to a man, but with the beautiful soul of a woman. My papi could not comprehend a woman who didn't weaken and burst into tears in the way that men like my papi and the Martinezes stereotypically perceive us. You are Juan Lopez's daughter, and as much as I know that troubles you in so many ways you carry an air about you that announces to the world that you are him, you are a Lopez, and that is all that matters. You command respect and dare I say my father fears you. He never wants me to gain the confidence that you have, because if I do I have the power to shatter his world. He would do anything to stop that from happening, including having you violated in the worst way. In his mind you are a threat to the control he has over his world, and I fear for you the more he has to be reminded of your existence. So I hope you stay away, far away mi amor, so that he never sees you again, and so that I don't have to see your perfect face, your beautiful body, hear your silly laugh, and be reminded of the reason why I'll never stop loving you.

You've moved on, and I'm happy for you. I hope you've truly moved on, without guilt, because you have no reason to feel guilty. I just want you to know that I recognize that you would have done anything for me. I hope you now know that I would do anything for you, too.

About what Luciana and Robbie call coming out night, I want you to know it hurt like hell, hurt like hell for you to be with anyone, especially someone we considered our best friend. It hurt like hell because both of you were angry at me, and I expected that. It hurt like hell because I lost both of you, and I expected that too. I just wasn't prepared for the two of you to sleep together, to walk in and find her sweaty and wrapped in your arms, that satisfied look in her eyes, to watch you kiss her tenderly. It drove me mad, but I didn't hate either of you, I never did. I just felt sad, and I felt something I never expected to feel, I felt the pain the two of you must have been in to do that to me. It took a while for me to get over it, to sort through the pain, the betrayal, the emotions. That betrayal, it was not you and Luciana betraying me, it was you both thinking that I betrayed you. That was a pain I couldn't take.

I'm so glad that Luciana reached out to me. I'm so glad we had the chance to make amends. I'm so glad that by making amends with Luciana and Robbie it inspired me to write this letter, to tell you I'm sorry that I hurt you, but that I'm not sorry for what I did. I did what I had to do, and I pray one day you all truly understand that.

I know you, mi reina, I know that our last night together haunts you, and it will haunt you even worse now that I'm gone. I want to tell you this, Santana, I want you to know that even our last time held meaning to me. It was special to me. It may not have been the goodbye I wanted with you, but even in your anger I felt your love for me. You loved me, you always did and I know you always will, and even in your anger your touch betrayed you and told me your truth. I chose to believe the feeling of your body against mine more than the angry words that escaped your lips, because I felt the way your heart pounded against mine, still in sync at the time, and I knew all I ever needed to know about us in that moment. I'll be yours until the end comes.

Oddly, I'm glad you reacted that way. I needed you to. I counted on it, because if you would have agreed to see me behind closed doors, to try and rationalize with Manuel to allow us to be together in the dark, it would have ended in death, just as you said. I knew that, but I couldn't face it. I counted on you ending it, counted on you to help me do what needed to be done, to do what I needed to do but just couldn't bring myself to finish the job. I know you Santana, and I knew you would be able to do it, because you were always the rational one, always the smart one, always the strong one, and just as I expected, Juan Lopez's daughter made sure that the job was done correctly.

That night, you did not know it, but it was a stand I was making for myself as well. I was telling the world, that room full of people who judged us harshly, that Luciana and Santana are not shameful, not out of control, not sick. They are lesbians, and so am I, and no matter who I may have to be with, I will be a lesbian until the day I die. I love women Santana, one in particular, and while I had to give her up, I will not let the world tarnish what we had as if you were some mystical creature who led me into darkness. You were not the reason I loved women, you were the woman I happened to love and who gave my life a greater purpose.

Do you remember, mi reina? Do you remember when I told you I loved you and said that I don't know how I feel about women, I only know how I feel about you? You helped me find myself, Valentina Ramirez, and Valentina Daniela Ramirez loves women. I don't know how many I will have in my life, but so far there have been two, each of whom I loved very differently, and very deeply.

Forgive us, mi amor. Luciana and I meant no disrespect to you. I came to her, and she fell into me and we found a beautiful peace together. What we have is different, but it can not compare with what you and I had. Santana, she reminds me so much of you, and while that may be what initially drew me to her, she is a good woman, her own beautiful self, and she has been so good to me and so good for me. We won't fall in love, I can't allow that to happen, because it would only lead to the same consequences that staying with you would have led to. I have to guard my heart from loving her, and it's not easy, which I know that you must know since you had your moment with her as well. She keeps me level headed, with her trysts with other women, which I think in her heart is to remind herself as much as they are to remind me that we can never be a couple even if what we have is real. Still, I know that when you find out what we are to one another you will see it as betrayal. It wasn't meant to be, mi amor. It both has nothing to do with you and everything to do with you. We both miss you, and only we can understand one another in that way, but what we are doing has nothing to do with any anger at you. She is the love in my life now, but you will always be the love of my life. I hope you understand the difference. Still, it's a comfort to me to know that my last days will belong to her, as long as she is willing to spend her time with me. She may truly fall one day, for one of those trysts, but for now she's adamant that they are all part of the ruse, no different that the prop that Robbie becomes when we're together in our special place, and I choose to believe her because I need to believe her. Still, I know she deserves more, but I also know that she only wants me, because you taught me what it felt like to have a woman touch me in that way, that made me feel everything she couldn't say to me. So when Luciana touches me I know, and I hope with my whole heart she knows too. I've told her all I could say, and for our safety I can only hope that she understands the parts I cannot say.

It may be the hardest part of this thing that I'm doing, turning the women I love over to other women they may fall in love with. I hope one day both you and Luciana find love, even if it happens to be with one another, although should that happen I hope it's once I'm gone, because right now I need Luciana for myself, as selfish as that may be. If it's someone else, someone I never knew existed, I just hope she knows how special you are. Santana, this girl, whoever she may be, that has your heart, I hope she deserves you. I hope you're allowed to love her without fear, and that you dare to love her without fear, the way you once loved me. I hope she makes you laugh, because I love your laugh. I hope she holds you when you cry. I hope she understands you, and how you manage to be both soft and tough all at the same time. I hope you are her queen, like you are mine. I'm guessing I'm already gone if you're reading this, because I had planned to find a way to speak to you these words myself if you fell in love before I died. You moving on and being in love with someone else would not have sent these men in my life over the edge if you were no longer a threat to steal me away. I want you to know that maybe it's best this way, because I would not have been able to refrain from touching you again, from kissing those lips, from nuzzling into those breasts. The thought of you wakes up parts of me that died the day you left, and I'm not sure that I'd be able to handle being near you without being with you. It would have been impossible for me to contain the ache I always seem to have for you when I'm alone with you, and so this is best, mi amor. It is as it needs to be.

I can write forever, mi reina, and never say everything. So I just wanted you to know that I forgive you, and I know that you forgive me too because it would be the only way that you would dare to love again. You love so deeply, so purely, mi amor. I know you wouldn't risk love again if you hadn't made peace with what happened between you and I. So no more needs to be said. Me continuing to write would be me struggling to let you go. I'll just say goodbye for now. If there is another place after this one where we will meet again, please let the woman you now love know that I'd never ask for eternity with you, that was never meant to be. All I ask is that one day you come and spend a moment with me, just long enough to let me know that you understand, and that you know that I did this for a lot of people, but for no one more than you. I love you Santana, now, and from wherever I am when you are reading this. Mi reina, te amo mucho, por todo mi vida, mi corazon.

Your Valentina, Always

Santana was bawling. She quickly set the letter aside, trying to keep it pristine, but she was shaking, shaking so badly, and she couldn't stop herself from trembling. This was a lot to deal with, this was the truth, no longer pieces of a puzzle and thoughts, this was Santana getting answers, as painful as they may have been.

Santana had spoken to so many people, had discovered so many of these things along the way, but to know that Valentina had faced a life of sacrifice and certain death so bravely hurt her deep inside. The things that some of those letters had included with people's views of their relationship were so wrong, so short sighted, because no matter how much they, how much she, thought they all knew Valentina, they didn't know her at all. They knew what she allowed them to know, allowed them to see, and she faced the rest alone, valiantly.

Then there was this confession, this thing that Luciana hinted at, that Robbie hinted at, that Carlos had told Brittany. Valentina had fallen in love again, with Luciana, and Luciana loved her back. They may have tried to fight it, but at the end of the day they loved one another as deeply as she and Valentina had loved one another, and they hid from that love for similar and different reasons. It must have been a special kind of difficult for them, to love one another so deeply but to be unable to express it as honestly because of the consequences. To have to deal with the other sleeping with someone else out of some twisted necessity. To love so hard and have to try so hard to keep the world from knowing. It had to be the deepest kind of pain to live that way.

Santana could handle that now. It didn't hurt to think of the two of them. Nobody needed to try and soften the blow, and now Santana could only think of one thing. She could only think of Luciana, alone and in danger, having lost both Danny and Valentina in a single night, and having nobody but herself to mourn that loss hidden away in Chicago. Having to hide how much it really hurt, on a different level than she could ever admit. Remembering how alone she herself had felt when she found out, until Brittany came and gave her comfort, and soon after, true love.

Santana was more glad than ever now that Luciana and Quinn seemed to be falling in love. Openly. Something Luciana never had. She was happy all over again for her friend, and now she understands why she's been so concerned for Luciana, so in tune. They've shared everything but a womb together. Santana was less than 2 months old when Luciana was born, they knew one another. Santana knew that Luciana was hurting in a way she couldn't identify but now she really, truly understands. Luciana lost more than her lover, Luciana lost her true love as well, and she had the hard task of trying to pretend that they were simply casual, even when she was still alive. She had to play the role that was offered to Santana once, and that Santana outright refused to play. Luciana had to deal with the anger and pain each time she knew that Manuel had touched her, and Santana can't understand how she survived it. Even worse, she had to deny their love to her best friend. She had to help that friend mourn while pretending she wasn't mourning in the exact same way, because in her mind it was a love she should have never had. Somehow her actions, her leaving, set off a chain of events that left her best friend to inherit her pain. Still, Santana is glad they had one another, and she can only hope that Luciana feels the same way, after all of the peace it must have cost her.

Still, Luciana didn't know everything. Valentina held things from her, just as Robbie had said. She held things from everyone. Robbie knew things that Luciana didn't. Santana knew things that Danny didn't. Each person held a secret part of her. Only one other person in this world knew more, and even they probably didn't know everything. They said they would talk one day. Maybe today would be that day. Years have passed now, and Santana was still dealing with the loss. Santana didn't want to admit that, she had Brittany, and Brittany is her everything. But it will haunt her, it will haunt her until she has her answers, all of them, and if she doesn't get them maybe it will haunt her forever. So Santana had to make a call, and she had to get those answers.

Santana dialed the number and hoped that it hadn't changed in all of those years. She barely recognized the voice on the other end, but it held tones of an older version of a voice she was more than familiar with.

"Hola," the voice answered.

"Hola, Maria?"

"Si?"

"It's Santana."

"Santana?" the woman asked, surprised by the voice on the other end. "I guess you got Valentina's letter?"

"Si."

"Lo siento, Santana. I was torn between interfering with your happiness and fulfilling a promise to my daughter. I've let her down so often, and so I thought I would present it to your parents and let them decide when you should have it."

"I'm thankful, Maria."

"Oh, I'm so happy, Santana. I meant no harm to you. My family has already harmed you so much."

"You have given me so much as well, Maria. You gave me Valentina, if even for a short and painful time. I want you to know it was all worth it to me."

"Were her words comforting to you?"

"Yes, and also no. At the end of the day I finally know everything, and that is the greatest gift of all. Well, I know almost everything. I don't know why I'm calling you to ask you about things that I already know. I have no right to ask this..."

"Santana, what do you need? Valentina would want me to give you whatever you needed, and so all you have to do is ask."

"I...I'm angry, frustrated, I don't know." Santana paused and took a deep breath. "Was Luis really planning all of those things Valentina said?"

"I didn't read the letter Santana, but I can imagine what was in there."

"Why don't you tell me what he had planned for me then?"

"Santana..."

"As you said, Valentina would want me to know whatever I needed to know."

Maria sighed.

"I can handle it Maria, but I need to know everything. I need to put this all behind me. I need to know what Valentina was really up against, why she chose to do the things she did. I've heard a thousand times why, and none of it seemed like things we couldn't have overcome. It's gotten better, but secretly I've been struggling, and I have nobody to share that with. They don't need to be burdened by me with this anymore. Help me let it go Maria, please."

Santana felt raw, and she couldn't believe she was speaking like this to Maria, a woman she barely spoke to and had no relationship with any longer. Still, at one time in their lives Maria treated Santana like a daughter. She got over her hang ups and she embraced the love that Santana and Valentina shared. She had encouraged Valentina to leave with her. Maybe she always needed to reach out to her, to talk to her, before she could finally close that chapter of her life.

Maria took a deep breath and started. "I won't ask what your letter said, although of course I'm curious, not so much because I want to know, but just because its a part of her and I want every part of her. All I have is things now, the letter she left me, and videos, so many pictures and videos she saved for me, of when she was truly happy. Times with you, all of you, when you were young. Stolen moments with Luciana and Roberto, laughing on the beach, so young. She wanted me to see her how I rarely got to see her, because that laughter didn't exist in our home. In her letter she told me that this is how she wanted me to remember her, and so I watched every video, so many sd cards filled with video. It's all I have left, besides the things she left me to run and start a new life, never knowing that all three men would be gone soon."

Maria paused and Santana waited for her to continue silently.

"Luis was an evil man, you knew that, but he was also a sick and sadistic man. He hated women, they had very few uses to him, and little to no value. Not only did Valentina dare to be born a woman, she dared to love one, and it did something to his misogynistic ego. He already hated the Lopezes, and then there was you, Santana. You had no shame. I'm not saying that in a bad way, but it killed him. You never bowed down to anyone. You walked around like the sons of the powerful men we know. You didn't play the role of the pretty flower. Boys didn't even dare to try and chase you in the same way they did the other girls. They watched how they spoke to you, not only because they feared Juan Lopez, but because they actually feared you and they didn't even know why."

Santana understood what she was saying. Robbie had said the same thing. The boys in their circle were careful with how they approached her. There were many who thought that Juan Lopez would convince Santana to take over the company, and eventually the family. There were even rumblings of Luciana being her number two, especially when it became clear that Santana would never marry a man. When Santana and Luciana began their trysts the rumors grew louder. Santana was smart and strong and it was no secret Juan wanted her to have the shipping company. Boys didn't treat Santana like a potential wife, they treated her like a potential boss and that's how they treated her even when they believed that she was straight.

Or that she might at least pretend to be straight.

"He wanted you to be his image of what a woman should be. Weak, broken, helpless, a sex object. In his mind you girls were supposed to grow up and marry men who would make their families more powerful. Your only worth would be your ability to seduce the most powerful man possible into joining with your family. You took that from him and rendered Valentina useless. Even if you were a man he would have had a hard time. He hated your father until the day he died. He never had a good reason why. I realized it was because your father is everything he was not."

Santana remained silent and allowed the woman to continue.

"He thought of many ways to torture you, and he would randomly share those thoughts with us at the dinner table, at breakfast, as he interrupted us in the kitchen, any time he felt like rambling his mad thoughts about the things that made his life miserable, which was mostly your father, but you were a close second. The harder you and Valentina fell for one another, the more he tortured her mind about you. She could be anywhere, just walking on the grounds getting some early morning air or enjoying a cup of coffee and he would walk up to her. Sometimes the conversations would start out normal and have nothing to do with you and just take a turn. Sometimes he would start right in emotionally torturing her. He'd tell her his newest idea in how to attack you, how to violate you, how to knock you down to size. Eventually, out of all of the disturbing things he said, one thing finally disturbed her more than any of the others, maybe because he seemed so serious about it. I remember the first moment she heard it at the dinner table. It changed her. I saw it in her eyes. Even he knew he had finally crossed the last line with Valentina. She officially hated him to the core. She and I talked, and she made her decision, a decision I didn't agree with. That was when I asked her to just run away with you. I wish I could say that she was wrong when she refused, but after what happened at her grave, after that bastard shot me, well I have to say she was 100% correct. If I'm honest I have to admit that I always knew that she was correct."

"What did he say, Maria?"

"It was vile."

"What did he say? I need to hear it from you. What changed Valentina so much? Tell me all about that night, please."

"She had come in, come in from being with you. You know how your fathers were, you had your freedoms, well at least you did, but they had eyes on you. People would tell them what you were up to, who you were up to it with. The normal ones, men like your papi and Pedro, they didn't need every detail, just enough to know that you were safe, because of the business they were in. Getting to you would be the easiest way to get to them. Also, sometimes the power is too much for the kids, and they develop problems of their own. The children, especially the daughters, required protection. For Luis it was for that reason also, because it was a job requirement for him, but it also was about control. That particular day, it was the four of you as always, and two others familiar to your group. Luis knew who the other young lady and gentleman were as well and so there should have been no reason to keep an eye on what you were all up to that day. You had gone out of your father's boat and apparently didn't worry about eyes on you, even if other boats sometimes would pass nearby. You were busy doing what teenagers do, each in your own corners of the world. You and Valentina kissed, urgently, and then disappeared for quite some time. You were together, out in the open in his eyes, even though it took binoculars to spy on you all and so you were trying to keep the world outside of your bubble. He didn't see it that way. It was the first time he had seen video of it with his own eyes, and it infuriated him. He was embarrassed and felt disrespected. He was on a rampage."

Santana wishes she could pinpoint the day, but days like that were common for them.

"She came home so happy, so carefree and relaxed but not a minute late for dinner as was required by her father as you know, even if many nights he didn't bother to show up himself. He hated how happy she was. He had shared the video with me and had beaten me just for the hell of it, because I didn't raise her right. He told her that he would have you beaten and raped, that you needed to be trained as to why a woman needs a man. As soon as the words left his mouth I think even he knew he'd crossed a line he couldn't return from. For the first time she stood up coldly, and that may have been the only time I ever saw a glimpse of Ramirez blood in her veins. She looked him directly in the eyes and she told him she would tell your father what he suggested if he didn't get that thought out of his mind right then. She paid dearly for those words, and after he choked her even with me hanging off of his back he finally turned his attention back to me. When she caught her breath she did something she had never done before and would never live to do again, she picked up the phone and dialed 911. She knew he owned some cops, and that it would go nowhere, but it was her way of letting him know that if he touched you he would have to kill her, because he would no longer be able to control her or keep her silent. In that moment, in his mind, she had decided to become a Lopez. There was no going back. Valentina also knew from that moment she had made a huge mistake by telling him instead of just doing it, and it would take her life to protect us all."

"I know that I could have helped her Maria. Why didn't you come to me, to my papi?"

"Santana, I know you love your papi, and in some ways he is a very gentle man. He is a good man, very kind and fair. I would have loved if Luis were like him, if he ran his business like him, but Santana, the Juan Lopez that you and your mami see, is not the only Juan Lopez that exists. I would not want to be on the wrong side of the other Juan Lopez."

Both Santana and Maria knew that nothing more could be said on the matter, not over the phone, not ever. It made Santana think though, she has heard those words spoken by many people in her father's former world. It made her wonder who Juan, who Pedro, even who Erik, really were, when they were at work, and how you can't really separate that from the men that they show their families.

Some things were better not to think of, until someone who knows reminds them that even if you push these things into the back of your mind, they still exist.

"Santana, he would speak these plots against you so often, in so much detail, that even I couldn't rest. He may have started out torturing her, or at least that is what I thought it was, but it became clear after a time that these were real scenarios he was running trying to find out which one would work, and which one would cause both you and Valentina the most suffering. It had even escalated to having you raped and beaten by hired men and making her watch, before she would suffer a terrible beating of her own, as an alibi for him so he would not be considered as a suspect in the attack. He had spoken that scenario a lot, as if it were the one he had settled on, and in her mind the one he was planning. It was a horrible place to be in. Speak up, and you die either at the hands of your father or someone else. Stay silent and maybe you find a way to save everyone around you and sacrifice yourself. You may not accept it Santana, but in light of the fact that she is gone and you and I have survived, Valentina was correct. She told me to remain silent, because he would have no issue killing me. Then she pushed you away and it gave him the false sense of victory he craved, and she married Manuel and gained just enough power in her life to claim some of it as her own. Santana, this would have been her fate no matter who she loved. My Valentina loved women, and her father was Luis Ramirez. Those two things would never co exist."

Santana had to accept what the woman was saying. She herself knew that some of it was true. She also knew that Valentina held a lot of secrets about what went on in the Ramirez household. She would always withhold things and tell Santana that it wasn't her place to fix what was broken in her home. Santana knew that it was very broken, but she could have never imagined what Valentina really lived with.

"Are you okay, Santana?"

"I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"No," Santana answered honestly.

"Talk to me, mija."

"There was so much she was going through that I didn't know. I knew Luis hit her sometimes, but there was nothing I could do about that and believe me it killed me inside. I loved her, Maria, I always will, so how did I miss so much? How can I love anyone if I can miss so much of what they're going through?"

"Don't do that, Santana. You two were children, you were so young. What do we know at that age? I thought I loved Luis at that age, and honestly I believe he thought he loved me back then. I'm not saying that the two of you didn't know what love was or that you didn't love one another, what I'm saying is that you still had so much to learn. You two were as in tune with one another as two 17 year olds were capable of being. She may have understood you more at times because you wore your heart on your sleeve. How could you know what she was hiding when she had so much to hide? There were too many things in the way for you to see it all, and that's okay. Don't compare who you were then to who you are now. You are a beautiful, grown woman. I had the chance to see how strong you grew to be, and your wife to be is lucky to have you."

"Thank you."

"I love you Santana. I love you for meaning so much to my Valentina, for giving her so much of yourself. I love Luciana for breathing life back into her when you left. I love Robbie for being a best friend to her, when the lines were crossed and she had no one else who was simply that to her. I love you three like you were my own, and I want to see you heal and prosper. I want to see you all do the things that Valentina never did, like build a family, a career, all of the things she secretly wanted and knew that she would never have. I'm happy for you Santana, that your heart opened up to love again. I hope I have the chance one day to speak to Luciana as well, because she deserves closure one day too. Roberto will be a fine man to someone one day, because he reminds me very much of your papi. Juan did a fine job taking him under his wings. Just like Valentina was loved by the Rodriguezes and the Lopezes, I want you to know that you three are loved by me in the same way. I hope the last moment we shared together proved that to you."

Santana knew what she was talking about but could not speak over the phone. Maria was talking about protecting Santana by getting her away from the scene of Luis's death.

"I know Maria, I've always known. Listen, I wish I would have invited you to the wedding, I just thought that it would be too hard for you to see. Please know that I haven't forgotten you and I never will. You have my number now, please use it sometimes."

"I know mija, and don't feel as if you need to stay in touch. Sometimes it's easier to move on without the constant reminders. Don't let your loving and loyal heart keep you so connected to your pain. I am okay. I will be okay. I just want you to know that you three are my children always, and from afar I will root for you to live the fullest lives. To have all of the babies you want and to be better parents than any of us ever could be. Valentina lives through all of you now, so go and live the lives that you all talked about as youngsters. This woman, you wife, do you want to tell me about her? I've heard through the grapevine some things, but do you want to share your joy with me?"

Santana smiled. She knew what the woman was doing. They talked about the past, and she was telling her it was time to leave it there. She wanted to hear about Santana's future, since Valentina didn't have one.

"Her name is Brittany, and she is amazing. She held my hand through every moment of losing Valentina, and I fell so deeply in love with her along the way."

"She is a good friend of Danny's right? He and Valentina became very good friends."

"Yes she is, and I heard that Danny was a friend to Valentina. He is a good friend to have."

"One of the best. I was glad to find that he survived that night. That he got to continue his life and put the past behind him."

"Maria..."

"Santana, we can't escape pain in this world, but it's okay to put it away. We don't have to feel it forever. We can carry people in our hearts, and not crying for them every day does not mean that we stopped loving them. Valentina told me that, in my own letter from her. Because of that I feel obligated to stop crying every day, and I have. Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course."

"I've met a man. I never thought I would trust another one after the one that I had, but I think that I do. We, you and I and even Luciana, the women who survived the wrath and madness of Luis Ramirez, we win by loving again. You won, Santana. Even Valentina won, because she had her love with Luciana even if it was forbidden. I hope that Luciana finds love again..."

"I think she will," Santana answered, thinking of the strides that she was making with Quinn.

"I'm glad. We win, mija. Valentina lost the battle, but she won the war, even if she became a casualty."

"Si," Santana answered.

"So get married, Santana. Go love your Brittany, and thank her for both me and Valentina for helping you when you needed it most. Maybe we will speak again, but if we don't, know that it's okay."

"Thank you Maria. Good luck."

"Happy life, Santana. Just have a happy life, mi amor."

"I will, I promise. You too, Maria."

"Thank you, carino."

Santana smiled as she heard the phone go silent. She knew that would be one promise that would be easy to keep, because her life would be with Brittany.