JENNIE
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"You dirty dog you." Rosé squealed in delight as I finished telling her about my meeting with Lisa in my bedroom, and the way she'd stood so close to me and grabbed my hand.
"I'm not the dirty dog." I said annoyed. "She is. She's the cheat. She's—"
"Don't get me wrong. She is definitely a dirty dog." Rosé agreed. "Maybe she's a dirty Rottweiler, or wait, what's a bigger dog than a Rottweiler? Maybe a St. Bernard? Are they bigger?"
"Who cares if a St. Bernard is bigger?"
"The dog in Beethoven, what breed was that?"
"Chaeng, I have no clue." I knew I sounded exasperated. "And I don't care. I have more pressing issues to discuss. Like what to do."
"That's why you're a dirty dog." She giggled.
"What do you mean?" I frowned into the phone, annoyed at her attitude. Didn't she realize how serious this was?
"I mean, you're asking me what to do. How can you be asking me what to do? You know what you should be doing as a good sister. There's no question about it."
"So I should tell Jisoo?"
"No, you shouldn't tell Jisoo. I don't know." Rosé sighed. "That's awkward. I would normally say yes, but she's knocked up and that just seems wrong."
"I know. The pregnancy makes it harder."
"Oh my God, I just thought of something." Rosé's voice sounded shocked and I sat up, my heart pounding.
"Oh, what is it?" I groaned. "And please don't tell me that you slept with her as well. I'm not sure I could take any more surprises like that."
"No," She giggled. "What if you're pregnant as well? What if she knocked you both up? Wouldn't that be crazy?" She sounded excited.
"Rosé, that's not something I even want to consider. Plus, she used condoms."
"Condoms aren't foolproof."
"I thought you were going to make me feel better." I wailed. "But instead you're making me feel worse."
"You know what I wish?" Rosé said without even acknowledging what I'd said.
"What?" I sighed, knowing she was going to tell me whether I cared to know or not.
"I wish that you'd had sex with Mino." She mentioned her ex-boyfriend that we both hated; me even more now that I'd slept with Lisa at his wedding. "Could you imagine what Irene would say if she found out that Mino got you pregnant at the wedding. That would be priceless. I'd pay good money to see that."
"How much? Ten dollars?" I said sarcastically.
"No, I'd pay a grand." She said seriously. "Yes, I would dip into my savings just to witness that."
"You're sick, you know that right? Really, really sick?"
"I know." She giggled and then let out a deep breath. "I'm a sicko and you love it."
"You're lucky I love you or I would have hung up the phone already." I shook my head, smiling slightly at the thought that someone had brought Irene to her knees. Even though, the hypothetical person was me and it hadn't happened.
"You know I'm sorry." She sighed. "I am shocked for you. I don't even really know what to say. Where have all the good men gone?"
"I wish I knew." I groaned. "Maybe they're all gay now."
"Half are gay." Rosé said. "And a quarter are married."
"So where are the other quarter?"
"If I knew I wouldn't be on the phone here with you." She laughed. "I'd be at the back of some limo having my brains fucked out."
"A limo?" I giggled. "Why a limo?"
"Because if I've waited this long to find Mr. Right, he better be fucking gorgeous and rich to make up for all my misery."
"Lisa's rich." I wasn't sure why I'd brought it up, but it seemed fitting in the moment.
"Lucky bitch."
"I'm not really a lucky bitch because she's not mine. Jisoo's the lucky bitch."
"No." Rosé said simply. "She's just a bitch."
"Park Chaeyoung."
"You know it's true." Her voice rose. "I know she's your sister and you love her and yada, yada, yada, but she's still a bitch, b, i, t, c, h, b, i, t, c, h, b, i, t, c, h and bitcho was her name-o."
"Chaeng." I giggled. "You're horrible."
"I know, it's the way I was born. My mom must have had me under a full moon or something."
"Yeah, I guess so."
"So are you coming home tomorrow then?"
"No." I sighed. "My parents have some weekend activities planned for all of us."
"Boring."
"You know they love that shit."
"Any of your brothers going to be there?" Rosé asked innocently and I smiled to myself.
"Yes, all of them are going to be here. It's going to be a big family celebration. Me, Jisoo, Tae, Kai, and Hanbin. And then Lisa and her brother Haruto and the 'rents." I took a deep breath. "We're all going to be one big family."
"Sounds fun." Rosé said wistfully, having grown up an only child to two parents that loved to jet set around the world.
"You know you totally have to come up tomorrow morning right and stay the weekend with me." I said softly, wanting her to know that I wanted her there, but not wanting her to think it was a last minute pity invite.
"No, I can't intrude. It's Jisoo's big weekend."
"You have to come." I said quickly. "You'll stay in my room and be like my bodyguard. What if Lisa tries to sleep with me again and my whole family walks in on us in the bedroom, playing Cowboys and Indians?"
"Oh my God, so you would say yes if she tried to hook up again."
"No." My face reddened at my slip. "I mean, yeah, maybe, I don't know. I know I'm evil personified to even think that could happen, but Lisa's just so gosh darn sexy."
"And you know they're not in love."
"Yeah." I sighed. "Not that that really excuses anything. If I slept with her again now, knowing what I know, I'd be a bitch. A big bitch. A bigger bitch than Jisoo."
"That is true."
"Thanks Rosé." I pouted into the phone.
"I'm sorry, but it's true. You can't sleep with your sister's baby daddy. That would just be plain wrong."
"I know."
"It would be worse than Jerry Springer wrong."
"Nothing's worse than Jerry Springer." I laughed at her comment, remembering why we were such good friends. We were on the exact same wavelength.
"True." She giggled. "So what time should I come tomorrow?" She asked casually.
"Well the brothers are all coming early and we're all going out for a pancake breakfast."
"I love pancakes." She said eagerly.
"So then come early."
"Are you sure?" She said, hesitant once again. "I don't want to impose on family time."
"Chaeng, you are family." I said softly. "You're my best friend and my parents look at you like a third daughter and my brothers look at you as another sister." Shit, why did I say they looked at her as a sister? I knew Rosé had a crush on one of them, but I wasn't sure which one.
"Well, thanks, I guess." She sounded sad. "I'll be there at 9am."
"Great, I can't wait to see you."
"Now don't do anything I wouldn't do tonight."
"I'm not going to do anything." I said lightly and looked at my bedroom door. "I'm going to bed and I'm not leaving my room until you get here."
"You're silly."
"That's why you love me."
"I'm going to go and pack now. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"
"Okay, bye Rosé." I hung up and lay back down on my bed and groaned as I stared at the ceiling. Images of Lisa popped into my mind as I lay there. Where was she right now? What was she thinking? Was she thinking about me? I rolled over and buried my head in my pillow. I needed to stop thinking about her or I was going to drive myself crazy. I sat up in bed and decided to leave my bedroom. I wasn't tired as yet and being in my bedroom was making me think of things I could do in my bed; naughty things that I shouldn't be thinking about. I decided to go down to grab a coke from the kitchen and then go into the backyard and rock in the rocking chair that my grandmother had given us when I was a kid. I loved the rocking chair, it made me think of my childhood and how happy I'd been rocking on my dad's leg, or even one of my big brothers, when they had time for me. I'd had a happy childhood, asides from the fact that my sister had driven me up the wall for most of my teenage years. I wasn't sure if we'd ever have the kind of relationship that Rosé and I had and that made me sad.
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"Turn around and I'll be the one you want to boom boom boom." I made up words to the catchy song that was playing on the radio as I swung on the rocking chair on the back porch of my parents' house. The night air was cool and I was grateful that it wasn't another humid balmy Florida night. "Take me away and we'll boom boom boom on the moon moon moon." I giggled as I sang along to some girl crying out about not having a candy pop or boyfriend. I felt that my lyrics were far superior to hers. "You'll boom boom boom before you com com com." I sang out and then screamed as I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Arrgghhh."
"Jen, it's just me." Lisa's voice was smooth behind me as she spoke and my body tensed up immediately.
"Oh, hello." I turned around and offered her a weak smile, ignoring her eyes. I stared at a spot on her ear and focused on that.
"I didn't know you were a singer."
"Huh? What?" I said stupidly.
"Have you hit any charts?"
"Charts?"
"Billboard? International? iTunes?"
"What?" I was so confused that my eyes left her ear and found her eyes. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about your singing career." She asked with a small smirk. "Have you hit any bestselling charts or won any Grammys or anything?"
"You're an asshole." My eyes shot daggers into hers as she tried not to laugh.
"It was an honest question. You did seem to be into that song you were making up." She grinned and I shook my head.
"Whatever." I couldn't stop myself from responding to her smile. "I know I can't carry a tune, but that doesn't mean I can't sing."
"I didn't say you should stop." She nodded in agreement. "It was quite pleasant to listen to."
"Sure it was." I laughed. "My brothers pay me to stop singing." I smiled at the memories. "In fact my brother Tae once gave me twenty dollars."
"Twenty dollars? Wow." Lisa tilted her face. "He must really hate your singing."
"I think it was the song and the occasion." I giggled. "He was eighteen and had brought home his first proper girlfriend for Thanksgiving." I thought back to the holiday. "They were sitting out here talking about some class they were taking and I came out and started singing, "Love is a truly splendid thing." I started laughing harder. "You should have seen the look on his face when I burst into the chorus and started throwing ripped up pieces of paper on them."
"Ripped up pieces of paper?" Lisa asked with a look of surprise.
"I didn't have rose petals." I giggled and started rocking back and forth. "If looks could have killed, Tae would have committed murder that night. Instead he gave me 20 dollars, so I made out pretty well."
"See your singing career has been profitable."
"Yeah, I guess you could say that." I sighed as I rocked back and forth. I could no longer see Lisa, but I could still feel her presence behind me.
"Sounds like you were a troublesome child." She said lightly and I stopped rocking and looked back at her again. This time I didn't bother hiding my smile or laughter.
"It doesn't seem to have ended though, does it?" I raised an eyebrow at her and she looked back at me in surprise. I knew that she was shocked at my laughter and that I was able to laugh at the situation we were in, given how dramatic I'd been earlier, but really how could I not laugh.
"Are you okay?" She frowned at me and I could see her searching my face as I laughed harder. She most probably thought that I was crazy or having a melt-down. She wouldn't be far off of the mark.
"I'm fine. Why?" I said, finally calming down.
"I don't know, you just seemed like you were losing it."
"I'm fine. I just thought your comment was ironic; considering the mess we're in."
"I see." Her lip twitched. "It is slightly unusual isn't it?"
"You can say that again." I laughed and her eyes fell to my lips and then back up to my eyes. Her gaze was intense and searching and my breath caught as we stared at each other, the only sounds in the air were our breathing and a distant bird calling out to its lost mate.
"The baby isn't mine." She said simply as she gazed at me.
"What?" I frowned, my heart racing. Was she telling the truth?
"Your sister's baby. It's not mine." She looked away then. "I wasn't meant to tell you that."
"Why not?"
"It's complicated." She sighed and looked back at me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that."
"Have you slept with Jisoo?" I asked breathlessly. Please say no, please say no, please say no.
"Jen." She started to speak and the stopped herself. "I should go inside now."
"But you just came out." All of a sudden I didn't want her to leave. All of a sudden I wanted us to have this conversation. All of a sudden, I felt light-headed and giddy. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn't so in the wrong after-all. Maybe I didn't need to be on an episode of Jerry. Maybe I wasn't a backstabbing bitch.
"Jen, does it matter?"
"It matters to me." I nodded and bit my lip.
"Then no, I haven't slept with Jisoo." She said seriously. "But I expect that to change once we're married."
"You're still going to marry her?" My heart was jumping for joy, but my stomach was still in the pits.
"Why wouldn't I?" She frowned as she gazed at me.
"I don't know. Maybe a simple thing like you slept with me." My voice dropped as she looked at me, her expression not changing. Why was she making this so difficult? Why couldn't she just tell Jisoo she made a mistake and then ask me out on a date? I'd be willing to forgive her the transgression of asking Jisoo to marry her. She hadn't really known me then. But she knew who I was now. Why would she still want to marry Jisoo? After we'd had such amazing chemistry together.
"So?" She said simply and then turned around. "Good night, Jen. Have sweet dreams, my dear."
I didn't answer her. My face was burning with embarrassment and shame. "Try not to boom boom boom with too many moons." She said again with a light laugh and I sat back in the rocking chair and moved back and forth quickly, trying to forget our whole conversation.
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