"Another one" - some overweight washed out music producer that doesn't even rap in his own songs

As is tradition, i write new stories while having unfinished active ones. Why? Because i do what i want, and i'm doing this for free anyway so quit yo whining

It's Highschool DxD, except highschool is it's actual main setting and not some random places that isn't the frickin Kuoh high.

But what does that mean?

Well, just read and see.

Ya'll like slice of life?
Wait, slice of life? In MY harem boob-shots animu?!

Yes. Welcome to the world of fanfiction, where everything's made up and matters only when you put value into it


Highschool DxD


[Chapter 1]

|| Everyday Life with Supernatural Girls ||


There is a small blue floating rock, swirling and whirling around a pretty sizable burning gas, hopefully avoiding any asteroids and other astronomical objects. It is a planet named Earth. For a while it was named Gaia by the Greeks, and believed to be Terra by the Romans. In truth, nobody knows for sure, but many believed it should be called Gaia. Especially since other planets in the solar system are named after the Greek Gods, and many believed and have depicted Earth as a girl conscious about her flat-chest.

In many stories, humans are the predominant species, while the supernatural folks hid themselves from civilization. Conspiring and occasionally helping the humans from the dark.

This is no such story.

Earth is the home of various sentient beings, and humans are simply one of the many races, as well as one of the most endangered species. Not, mind you, because they have reproduction problems or hunted down like wild dogs. Oh they're very healthy and sex-driven alright, the problem is that they are the ones whose DNA can mingle with other species without side effects. Humans, so to speak, are the universal recipient for genes. And it doesn't help that they are easily attracted by physical appearance and is a curious sapiens in general.

I am one of them.

My name is Hyoudou Issei.

Issei Hyoudou if I'm not Japanese. But I am Japanese and therefore I'm inclined to pronounce my name backwards.

I don't know why I put my family name in front of my surname, but us Japanese have pretty quirky habits compared to… well, most countries actually. People say it's tradition and our culture, but I think it's because of the nukes.

We're also obsessed with minimarkets and vending machines. Anything you can think of and is the correct size, you'll probably find a vending machine dispensing that item. I'm not even talking about snacks or canned drinks. Need emergency underwear? Find the vending machine. You want a model figurine? Find that vending machine. You're germophobic and your surgical mask got stolen or torn? Head to a vending machine. Need some flower to impress someone or pretend you have a girlfriend? There's a flower vending machine. Need a shot of alcohol because someone find out your girlfriend is imaginary? Well lucky you, we have a sake shot dispenser vending machine.

Anyway, you're probably wondering why so many of them, and the answer is pretty simple.

We're workaholics.

By 'we', I mean the white or blue-collar workers and my countrymen in general. We don't like to waste too much time outside of work. We're apparently a dying breed as well. I can't blame anyone though, I mean have you seen a devil? Have you seen a vampire? Have you seen a cute fox-girl with big bushy tails and furry ears that you can't help but want to give them a poke?

Even in the movies, they're never ugly. Not even in comic books they are ever drawn ugly — because it's the plain truth.

They're really fucking hot, yo.

Like, smoking hot level of hot. You take one look at them and your eyes might be set on fire.

You might think it's great, but when everyone's looking like they are in showbiz, airplane hostess, or a butler from those shoujo manga, you start to really lose sense of actual beauty. When everyone's pretty, nobody's pretty. Shit like that.

Nah I'm just messin' with ya. I'd bang any of them. You probably would too, if ever given the chance.

But the major, glaring problem is that they probably don't want to do you.

I don't even need to exist in your world to know that.

Right, moving along with the story — I'm legally twenty, and I'm in the last year of my highschool at Kuoh High. Now before you start making assumptions like 'LOL this guy failed THREE times! What a fucking moron!' - I don't. I never failed or held back a year. I kinda am an idiot, I think it's because of this one time I hit my head on a swing when I was a kid, but that's not the point.

There's four years of high school education.

Six years in elementary, three years mid as per usual, then four years of high school where reality starts to set in, and you begin to wonder if you're ever gonna spend your life not studying or working. Real spooky stuff, I know. You don't normally start first grade elementary until you're five or six, or you're four but your brain is liquid. I happen to start at seven, because when I was a kid, someone could cough or sneeze from a mile away and I'd be bedridden because I caught their cold.

Yes, I was that weak. My parents were legitimately scared for my life, I think they had a discussion about making me wear hazmat suits this one time… Or stuck me inside one of those gigantic hamster balls except for people.

I got better though. …Thankfully enough. Who'd want to be stuck in a glass ball…? And I rarely got sick. Sure I had to drink a lot of vitamins and exercise weekly, but at least I don't pass out every five seconds anymore. I'm not built, though. I'm still pretty lanky. But mess with me and I'll probably pull your pants down, steal your wallet, and run away.

What? I'm disinclined to resort to violence. Make love not war. I haven't made love yet but I sure as hell ain't gonna start a war and I'm not paying any charges for assault anytime soon either.

This world might be run by devils and fallen angels, but laws still exist, and they take this kind of thing very seriously. I think there used to be a war very long, long time ago, but they settled their differences and worked together to keep Earth a relatively nice place to live. Angels exist too, but they're pretty shy. Cute too. Do you know they use their wings to cover their face not to look mythical but because they're embarrassed?

Ahem - what's the reason for the extended year in high school?

Well, there's an extra curriculum where you're taught learn how to exist.

No, I'm serious.

Starting from the third or first year as a senior, you'll be taught how to drive a car, a bike, why becoming a bank robber is not a wise career path, why taxes are important and aren't actually used to fill up corrupt politician's pockets, the height limit you're allowed to fly in if you have wings, the speed limit if you can run quicker than a horse — basically rules and actual meaningful life lessons you'd want to know if you want to function properly as an adult.

And then you enter a uni, or skip and go straight to work, or continue your family's business, or just retire because your family is rich.

I ain't rich and I don't have a family business, and I'm not sure if I want to enter a uni or go straight to work.

My dad's a General Manager of an elementary school in my hometown —which is here, in Kuoh Town. He earns enough so that my mom can be a traditional yet happy housewife that occasionally helps a nearby bakery if she got too bored or to be not as upset about the latest episode of her Korean drama.

I live in an apartment. Nothing too fancy, but not exactly all too modest either because I'm an only son, and yes. I am loved by my parents and they refused to let me live in a dumpster and covered half my rent, which wasn't that much to begin with. Yay me. Woo for good parenting and cheap affordable living spaces.

Why did I move out? Well, other than me wanting to try and live independently and see if I can take care of myself; I do value privacy.

The direct translation is 'I don't want my mom snooping around and finding things I don't want her to find when she's cleaning my room'. Such as evidence of my poor financial decision that has taken the form of a variety of merchandise with cute anime girls on it, bottles of alcohol with cute anime girls on it, or a 'padded' mouse pad with a cute anime girl on it, posters of a cute idol that I've sold for mint because it was no longer in production, or my box of condoms that doesn't have a cute anime girl on it.

That I never get to use anyway.

I just wanted to brag I get the sex whenever my friends came over, alright? They sniffed out my bullshit anyway because I was a loser during my first high school year. But since then, on my birthday they always get me a pack to replace the old one as a running joke.

Dickheads.

But hey, free yearly condoms I can sometimes sell to my classmates who evidently have a more active sexlife than me. Yay for profit.

Reject women, embrace currency.

I probably won't get to use them anyway. I don't chase skirts as much as I did anymore. No, I'm not a sword-swallower either. Don't you assume my sexuality. It's the twenty-first century. I can like pans and tell everyone and pat myself on the back for being brave.

I'm twenty now, you see… I start to think less about seggs and more about my future. How I can make money so I don't end up starving. What I'll do and what I want to become. My future is the thing that freaks me out the most, and I'm already in my second-to-last semester.

That's less than a year before I have to make the big decision. Less than a year is all I have to give it another proper thinking and consideratino, which might seem to be a decent enough time, but a year passes in a blink when you worry over things. Unless it's Valentine's Day and you're the only one who is single from your friends. You'll be forced to hear them cheer and brag about their stupid chocolate, and then that day might feel like an eternity.

I want chocolate too... Not just the obligatory friends one, dammit.

But still, free handmade chocolate. Yum.

Friends I have plenty, but a girlfriend I never have.

I used to have two best friends in this school.

Matsuda, another human guy I know from junior high who used to have an afro until he cut it bald to look like Vin Diesel, only to look like a monk instead, already has an idea of what he wants to be; a pro football athlete. He's even dropped out last semester to join a J-League team's youth academy. Something or other. I'm not a big fan of sports, but I'll probably watch him play on TV some time in the future. He's not as fast or as strong as other species that seem to be born to be an athlete, but his technical skills and ability to read the game turns him into a wizard in that field.

Motohama, a human kid I know from elementary school who can't see a damn thing without his glasses, is already accepted to Todai; our version of Harvard. Tokyo University for you overseas people.

What's more impressive is he's already studying there, entirely skipping the last year of his high school. He'll probably be a doctor and find the cure to cancer or stupidity or something. Let's see if he ever cures his virginity. Dude's insanely smart but he's a freak, I tell you. I mean, who the hell can measure a girl's proportions just by looking at them? He's not even supernaturally-gifted or anything. Both his parents are Japanese human beings, but his ability is like the most unique I've seen from everyone else. And I'm in a school with devils and dragons.

They're still my best friends, but we just don't meet up as often anymore. What with our different schedules and everything. We don't play online games as often either, but these things happen. It's called life, and sometimes, your friends pursue their own dreams and leave you eating their dust.

Meanwhile, here I am, eating their dust, wondering what the hell am I gonna be, or what I want to be. Hell, I don't even know what I can be. I do know I don't want to work an entire lifetime like my dad currently is doing, but I don't have the mind to start my own business either or the skills to be a freelance worker of... whatever freelance works there are. I sure as hell can't draw anything more than stick figures, and even then they're still squiggly like I have chicken claws for fingers. I don't know how to play an instrument, and the only person that told me I have a great singing voice was my late grandmother, and she was already deaf.

My friends often told me I could be a stand-up comedian, but I don't wanna make jokes for a living. No offense, any stand-up comics that are reading this for whatever reason. I just don't have the mental creativity to come up with new jokes every week and I can't be funny every second of every day. And audience expectations? Yikes, don't even get me started. I don't expect much from people, and I sure hope they expect just as much from me.

You see, I'm one of those people who just doesn't seem to have any monetizable talent. Don't even say optimistic things like 'everyone has a talent' because I swear I will ram a brick to your mouth. Let me pity myself and leave me be. I wanna mope a bit.

Other than my dread of entering adulthood, things aren't so bad. Could've been better, could've been worse, but it isn't so bad and, I don't mean to brag, but I'm not the type to bitch about it. At least not out in the open where other people can hear. Still, my life's been pretty good so far. Especially when I live next door to a kind foxy mama and shares the same school as her bratty but extremely 'genki' —read: obnoxiously extroverted— daughter, who is cute and fluffy as hell, but also likes to knock on my door pretending she's a Tako Eats employee which isn't very cute as it is obnoxious.

Knock knock knock

"Hello! Tako Eats!"

Speak of the devil…

...or the kitsune, I guess...


Issei gently opened the door, receiving a flashback of that one scene from that one game, as lo and behold, a ball of orange fluff, getting bigger and seemingly fluffier as it whooped his face.

"Haha! Gotcha again!"

It didn't hurt him at all. His attacker's tail was mostly fur with a very thin tailbone that didn't even reach the end. Rather, it felt heavenly soft and heavenly aromatic. Sweet and somewhat fruity, hints of the special conditioner manufactured for any species that had more fur than most. Namely these 'fox spirits' that aren't exactly spirits, as well as 'wolf spirits' or okami in its Japanese term.

It helped that kitsune —fox spirits, a subspecies of a yōkai— always took great meticulous care of their hair and fur. Each strand was as lustrous and perfectly silky as the rest, verification of their brushing and treatment. The only drawback of having such a bushy appendage was that dust and grit easily stuck themselves between the hair, and therefore bathing took them a longer time. Nevertheless, they prided themselves in being the only species that possessed the most magnificent and thickest of tails.

And Issei took pride in being the few people who got to enjoy it daily, as kitsune wasn't exactly a common race of the yōkai, who was already one of the most secluded species, second only to vampires.

Nevertheless, Issei wasted no time in getting flustered by the floof as he wrapped his arms around the tail, and squeezed it to his chest as a yip of surprise could be heard coming from his attacker. Said attacker who was quickly regretting her decision.

"EEP—! L-Let go! Get off me you criminal!" His resident kitsune shrieked, both her ears stiffening on high alert as she began to panic.

But the time for mercy had passed, and her amber eyes grew wide in horror as she realized the grabber of tails had no intention of letting her off. "How many times do I have to teach you this lesson, old man? Why would I order food for breakfast?"

"Kunou's not old nor is she a man!" she cried, unable to untug herself as that would hurt her more, and unable to use spells as that would be illegal and Kunou didn't want to be arrested. How could she eat her mother's cooking in jail? The guards wouldn't be able to resist!

"But Kunou's pretty frickin' stupid," Issei said as a warning, unhading her tail as she immediately withrew it, safe along with the rest of its siblings.

"She's not stupid. She's cute and angy," she pouted, smoothing down her grabbed tail.

Issei raised one eyebrow. One of his non-monetizable useless talents. "Angy. You're angy."

"Yes, very angy," Kunou snarled, looking not very threatening since she was cursed with the curse of being too adorable to be ever taken seriously by others. It didn't help that she never felt genuine anger so far in her life.

Thin lips still forming a stubborn pout, the young schoolgirl kitsune caressed her tail and fluffed the fur with her hands. Her uniform was just like any other girls' uniform of Kuoh Academy that they wore until they were at the last year, by then they were allowed to wear whatever they wanted as long as it was morally acceptable. Her tails didn't jut out from the bottom of her knee-length skirt or pulled through a specialized hole for tails as they just simply phased through the fabric.

She had five of them in total, each bigger and thicker than her lithe body, deep amber in color. Like chestnut, except brush-shaped. The tips were black in color, though several white hairs were starting to sprout. Those white hairs signified she was about to enter adulthood, and the amount of tails hinted her difference with other kitsune, who at most had four even after they matured.

Kunou was a kyuubi, a nine-tailed fox-spirit. Her mother was a kitsune that was supposedly chosen by the Sun Goddess Amaterasu herself. Was this a fact or a rumor, Issei hadn't given it much thought, but one thing he knew was their tails bloomed behind them like petals of a lotus flower, making them a highly photogenic species.

…Maybe he should try being a photographer? But then he'd have to deal with annoying clients. It's not that he hated people, he just didn't want to serve anyone if he could help it. He was working part-time as a cafe barista, and there had been times he wished splashing hot coffee to an infuriating customer was considered a legal action.

"Let's go! We're gonna be late!" His internal conflict was put to a halt as Kunou talked to him in a renewed vigor, already forgetting she was supposed to be mad. Well, she'd rather be mad than be late.

And Issei, while not a perfect student, would be concerned with being late — if school wasn't starting in… he checked his wristwatch, a Casio with black belt, a gift from his dad.

One hour. Give or take five-four minutes.

First class wouldn't start until eight, and even then, the distance between his apartment and school could be covered with ten minutes of walking.

Understandably, Issei retreated into his place and shut the front door. He blankly stared at it as he listened to a machine-gun rapid series of knocking.

"What."

"What do you mean 'what'," Kunou whined, "let's go to school!"

"It's seven AM, Kunou." Issei pointed to his watch, then at the rising sun leftward from his second-floor apartment.

"I miss my friends… It's been so long!"

"Kunou, we literally only had a weekend."

"Exactly! It's been so long!" Kunou insisted as she took a step inside to tug his long-sleeved arm.

"You're an adult now, go to school on your own."

"Kunou's not an adult, I'm only seventeen!"

"That's pretty much at the walk-to-school-yourself age."

"No! I don't wanna walk alone, there's scary people out there!"

"Our town is one of the most peaceful towns in the entire Japan," Issei said with a matter-of-fact kind of tone. "The biggest criminal here is you for being so spoiled."

Kunou snarled as she tried to yank him, pulling on his hand to no avail. Not because Issei was strong or had a dragon residing inside of him like some sort of shounen action anime protagonist, but purely because Kunou didn't have much strength. The fastest track runner but the weakest in terms of raw power.

"Rrrgh— I wanna go to school together—!"

"I haven't even had my breakfast."

"You never had breakfast! If you had, then Mama won't scold you about it!"

"Maybe I avoided it so I can keep getting scolded."

Kunou made a face, figuring out what he meant, and gasped and scowled once she caught the undertone. "Stay away from my Mama!"

"Fine," Issei huffed, then put on his shit-eating grin. "I'll go for her daughter instead."

"...H-Huh?!" The kitsune winced and gathered her tails to her hands, hiding the bottom half of her tiny face as she buried it behind. Her cheeks were beet red, and her ears anxiously swiveled and flicked as she mumbled something into her bundle of fox fur. "...If it gets you off my mama then…"

"I'm joking, Kunou," Issei sighed, though smiling a little.

"Yeesh!"

As much as he liked to fantasize, Issei didn't have the confidence to enter a relationship yet. Not when he hadn't yet figured things out. Maybe if he was as young as her or a year away, then perhaps he could've afforded to fool around… Experience having a cute kitsune as his girlfriend if she'd even agree to it.

But he was at the very brink of entering another stage of his life. He had regretted the time he spent fooling around, because as things stood, he was now poorly equipped. He could have honed his skills better, regardless of what they were, and he was determined to get his priorities straight in this last year of his high school.

He was supposed to have two siblings. Maybe a badass big brother or a cute older sister. Miscarriages were a bitch, but he at least should be able pull his own weight and not worry his parents.

Still… seeing a pair of boobs and hearing 'I love you' on a daily basis would be nice… An effective mood-booster without a doubt.

Ah, but enough daydream.

"Fine. I'll grab my stuff, then let's go," he finally decided, much to the kitsune's joy as she bounced on the balls of her feet, expectantly waiting for him to take his schoolbag.

He had a lot on his mind lately, and maybe a morning walk would lift some of those niggling thoughts.

"Be careful on the road, and thank you, Hyoudou-dono." Know what would instantly remove those thoughts? The sweet, melodious soprano of his next door neighbor, peering out her door just enough to wave him goodbye and her peaceable smile.

"Hello Yasaka-mama!" Issei immediately waved back, grinning widely as Kunou's frown started to crawl back on her face. "You're as beautiful as…" he looked around for inspiration. "As the rising sun…?"

A splash of faint pink blossomed over her healthy white cheeks. "Ah, Hyoudou-dono… It's improper to tease an old widow like me."

"Well, someone's gotta do it. Make you feel younger, eh?"

"Oh you…" Yasaka giggled as delicate fingers covered her thin pink lips.

She was exactly like Kunou except taller, more mature, obviously more chesty. Yasaka's hair and fur were golden compared to her daughter's auburn color. Her bangs were neatly swept to one side unlike Kunou's tomboyish spiky bangs and spunky ponytail, but her eyes were the same color as hers. They were like miniature sunsets, as beautiful as they held a certain kind of comforting warmth.

Voluptuous? Check. Kind and soft-spoken? Check. Beautiful? Omega-check. Rocking that white apron over a black knitted-sweater? Oh baby. Yasaka was enchantingly beautiful and every bit a foxy mommy. Issei had seen and met plenty of beautiful or cute girls, but Yasaka was the rare breed that was beautiful and cute at the same time.

Maybe he was just into older women…? He never thought of that…

Wait, how old was Yasaka again? Few months ago they were celebrating her twenty-ninth birthday, and a month earlier, Kunou had just turned seventeen…

Woah. Yikes. She was thirteen when she had her?

Wrong. He did his math wrong. Yasaka was twelve when she had Kunou.

Big yikes regardless.

Probably a kitsune thing. Different culture and stuff.

Still a disturbing fact for his human mind.

"Alright, bye mommy! Let's go go go!"

Either way, Kunou did not appreciate his banter with her mother, and stubbornly pushed him from the back.


Break


The walk to his school was peaceful, for the most part. Kunou only stopped to chase a random squirrel three times and brushed her frizzed up tails because a dog barked at her once. Both of which were amazingly low numbers for her standards. It appeared fewer animals and people were keen to expose themselves to the cooling weather early in the morning. The trees too. Their brown leaves were starting to ditch the lonely branches, and he could hear the husbands grumbling once their wives told them to sweep their lawn.

It was mid November and winter wasn't in two weeks, but Issei could feel the lower temperature biting through his gray sweater and black sweatpants, nipping his skin like an army of ice termites. The days seemed to end quicker too, which was fine by him. He had always preferred the moon over the sun, because at least the moon wasn't trying to burn him during summertime. He liked cold weather above hot or mild weather too, because he could wear thicker clothes during winter, but he couldn't exactly shed his skin during summer as that would be a form of self-harm.

Kunou would agree as well. He was certain her mother would say the same. Their winter coats were starting to rise, thickening their already thick tails, and Issei thought the way their tails could curl around their neck and act as a scarf was very adorable as it was stylish.

Speaking of which…

"It's almost an entire year since I met you, huh," he muttered aloud, eyes forward, suddenly feeling nostalgic.

"Hm? Nanny?" Kunou perked her head up while she was in the middle of her own game, namely 'spot-a-friend'. It was a game where, as the name implied, she attempted to spot her friend so she could run up to them and say hi, possibly play. She didn't have much luck so far, but her spirit could never dim.

Right. Leave it up to Kunou to ruin his melodramatic moment. Then again it was his fault for pronouncing 'nani' as nanny. Reap what you sow, he supposed…

"I said; it's nearly a year since we met."

"Really? Wow… Time flies…" she muttered, before her eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh! Kusotori!"

As Kunou scampered down the road, Issei made a confused face and glanced up, finding nothing but the clear blue skies with the occasional clouds. Then he realized she was referencing the devil walking ahead of them. That explained why the kitsune sprinted and the nickname.

In English? It meant poop bird.

Which would explain why Ravel Phenex immediately exploded into her usual hissy fit the moment Kunou greeted her with said word. He could hear her yelling while Kunou laughed at her from this far off. He didn't know much about her, but he knew about her older brother. He was his senior a year ago, and had graduated from Kuoh and opened a karaoke bar while still entering the university.

Where? At Kuoh Academy, of course. His family was one of the founders of that place after all.

Still, so much for a peaceful morning.

Who cares though. A bit of chaotic fun never hurt anybody.

"Ravel," he nodded at the devil and then the white-haired girl walking next to her. "Koneko-chan. Mornin'."

"Hyoudou-senpai," the nekomata, Shirone, nicknamed Koneko which literally meant 'white cat', nodded as she greeted him. Her voice was quiet but her white feline ears were very perceptive to sound. It was probably the reason why she was so quiet, because she thought she was loud enough for others. Or because she was part-cat and cats were quiet little rascals.

Maybe he should ask Shirone's sister, Kuroka, about it one day. If she wasn't sleeping or getting upset at him for being given a can of sardine during White Day. She still ate them anyway when he asked her to return it…

Evidently, her lax demeanor nonetheless helped even the balance a bit, especially when these two were around each other, chirping and yipping.

"...Good morning," the blonde girl with the unique twin-drills hairstyle trademark of a princess replied to him with a somewhat curt tone. She looked cross, and heavily armored with her thick winter jacket and that fuzzy yellow fur scarf around her slender neck. "About time you showed up. Please handle this bad fox of yours!"

Issei turned to Kunou. "Well you heard her. Bad fox."

The kitsune looked horrified and flattened her ears forward. "Kunou's not a bad fox."

Issei turned to Ravel. "Well you heard her. She's not a bad fox."

"Ah I see, how convincing — not. Tell her it's uncouth to call anyone with that kind of nickname!"

"But kusotori is funny!"

"It's insulting!"

"It is kinda funny though," Koneko muttered, earning herself a glare of betrayal from the phoenix. "What? It nicely rolls off the tongue."

Did it? Hence Issei decided to try it out. "Say kusotori," he pointed at her scarf as Ravel was about to implode again. "I can't believe you killed Big Bird."

"Wh—?!"

As Ravel averted her anger at him for the great insult, with Kunou egging her on, laughing and saying she was a Muppet-murderer, Issei's mind phased away and put the girls on mute.

Height-wise, she was just as tall as Kunou and her nekomata friend. Size-wise, Shirone was the most disproportionate to her height. Likely due to her genetics, as she was as chesty and curvy as Kuroka was when he was just a freshman. Second to her would be Kunou, which was also blessed by genetics, except that she was more lithe and athletic, thanks to her neverending energy. In the last place would be Ravel herself, which was still kinda busty though lacking in her hip area.

Then again, all devils were busty.

These were nothing more than an observation, of course, as Issei held no interest in brats, no matter how cute they were.

…Or maybe he was just into older women…?

That aside, he had three equally short girls around him, and that meant he was the tallest person there.

While Issei himself wasn't that tall, he was considerably tall for his countrymen, standing just under six foot, or 180 in centimeters if you wanted to know the precise, correct, easy to imagine measurement that should have been made the global standard. These manlets, meanwhile, were barely as tall as his chest, and Issei couldn't help himself from pointing that fact out. Why? Because he was a taller-than-average jackass who liked to make fun of people tinier than him.

"Heh. I feel like a babysitter taking the kids out for a walk."

A sentence that earned him a dagger-like glare from the two bothered people from the group. The fox and the shit bird.

"Short girls are cute!" Ravel defended, fuming. Probably would have melted the snow if it was snowing.

"Leave my Mama alone!" was Kunou's yell of woe, thinking that her evil senior wanted to make her his daughter through marrying her mother.

.

.

.

After that brief shenanigan, Issei decided to part ways with the vertically-impaired because unlike them, he wasn't wearing a school uniform and he caught a yōkai officer narrowing his eyes on him. Because unlike them, he was in his second senior year, and therefore he got to look stylish when he came to school. And he wanted to untangle himself from the noise anyway, and he still had thirty minutes to spare. He wasn't going to school this early.

What is he, a nerd?

…Or someone who goes to school early?

No. He's Hyoudou Issei, and he was a twenty year old young man that wanted to get a cup of coffee in the morning. At the coffee shop where he worked because he got a 10% employee discount. The place was located in the shopping district, right at the western entrance which was closest to his school. Five minute walk close. Crowds of school or university students usually flock to this kind of place like flies in the late afternoon to evening, which was exactly the very reason why this cafe, named Coffee Shock, affectionately nicknamed CS by kids his age, was constantly on the look for helpers and had quite the handsome pay.

It was busiest during weekends, and his shift started every Friday after school until closing time, and Saturday afternoon from one to six unless they needed more help during the morning. Or when the weekday afternoons were unexpectedly busy and the staff struggled to keep up with the orders.

As today was Monday, however, the homey, rustic coffee shop was barren.

The bell dinged as he walked into the shop, and the sweet aroma of freshly brewed coffee and steaming toast immediately told him that he made the right choice.

He walked to the cash register to make his order, where a blonde girl in black apron was easily spotted dozing off behind the counter, face buried in her hands. It wasn't opening time yet after all, and Issei didn't doubt the rest of the staff was busy in the office upstairs, dropping off their bags and whatnots.

"Oi."

"Hm? W-Welcome—" she jolted awake, scrubbing her sapphire blue eyes as she squinted them the next second. "...Oh… It's you," and she yawned, scratching her golden bangs with blue tips, and stretched her hands and arched her body forward. "HNNGG—! Mngh— nnnh…"

Latia Astaroth used to be his senior, although he didn't get to be friends with her until after he became a staff of her coffee shop. She, as were any other female devils, was beautiful and stacked. Voluptuous and etcetera, etcetera, good looks and long eyelashes and whatnots. Her eyes were her most enchanting features, Issei believed, as they were as blue as the ocean. Or simply the sapphire gemstone itself.

"What d'you want? Go and make it yourself…"

"Top-shelf service as always," he lowered his eyelids as he sauntered into the employees only area. Technically, he was just an off-duty employee of hers. Washing his hands, he glanced over to her and found Latia already slumped over again.

"Busy day yesterday huh?"

"Mhmm…" she groaned, yawning as Issei collected a jar filled with roasted coffee beans. "Where were you yesterday…?"

"Passed out," he replied promptly, shooting a steam of hot air into a shot glass with one of the coffee machines. "Saturday was packed. Someone's birthday."

"So I've heard…" Latia yawned again. "Might've been the same crowd that came by yesterday."

"Bunch of middle-aged men, huge cars, smokers, and loud dad laughs?"

"Yep. Correct on all accounts."

"Never seen them before. Probably businessmen visiting their kids," he shrugged as he measured the caramel and then the milk. He was feeling a bit of cold brew of macchiato today. "Might've screwed off already."

"I'd hope so. I liked it better when it's just kids, but they did fill up the tip jar and ordered a lot… so I'm torn, as you can see."

"You're worn out is what I see," he sniffed as he poured his morning beverage into a plastic glass. Degradable, of course. He then topped it off with a silky white cream above the brown, icy delight. "Are you gonna stay here today?"

"Lilith, no. I'm going home… Once one of the bartenders got here."

"Raynare's sick, by the way. Bad stomach. From an expired yoghurt she ate. She just said that in the group chat this morning."

A loud groan, followed by a flat, "Fuck. Where's my damn phone…?"

"Sai's free today, so…"

"Oh thank goodness…" Latia said as she breathed a sigh of relief, slumping down again. "Don't scare me like that. I don't pay you to scare me."

"Scaring you comes for free," so he replied as he waltzed out of the bar area. "I made caramel macchiato. Put it in my tab, alright? See ya."

"Off to school? Heh… Imagine still going to school. Couldn't be me."

"Imagine having to audit yesterday's transactions every morning because you run a cafe. Couldn't be me."

Latia groaned audibly as Issei simply walked out the victor.

.

.

.

There was a time when everyone used to surround him when he first entered Kuoh Academy. As he was one of the few humans who enrolled there, curiosity about his kind was on the rise. He used to think his popular moment had finally arrived and that he was about to peak during that year, but after a month, he became just another student in that school.

Easy come, easy go.

Presently, Issei was in his classroom, located somewhere on the third floor of Kuoh Academy's main school building. He was, at the moment, pretending he was in a melancholic music video as he looked out the window, overlooking the front gate and the yard of the school. His nearly empty see-through plastic cup placed near his hand, dripping cold droplets of water as he gazed outside.

Ten minutes before the school bell rang, and most of his classmates already flocked with their own circles. His school life wasn't the most amazing or drama-filled, rather, it was pretty ordinary despite its colorful students. Fallen angels, angels, nephilims (lovechild of a horny fallen angel and an equally horny human), dragons, any winged creatures must keep their wings folded inside the school building at all times, and flying in the hallway was strictly forbidden. Yōkai weren't allowed to use their trickeries, such as phasing through walls or using their third or whatever eyes to cheat during exams, and obviously telepathic or psychic powers were a no-go.

Of course there were special cases where students weren't able to fully control their supernatural powers or the drawbacks of their species. For example, yuki-onna —snow woman, another race of yōkai— was allowed to skip PE during a hot sunny day and seated next to students who could tolerate their cold air. Usually a dragon or a fellow yuki-onna, or cold-freak like Issei himself. Creatures that generally felt sluggish in daylight like vampires and devils with weaker constitutions were permitted to take a rest in the hospital-like infirmary. Devils might be the mischievous little creatures they are, but they certainly didn't hold back on building Kuoh Academy to be as accommodating as possible.

The reasons for these restrictions as well as leniency were simple; to be mindful of each other, tolerate others, and help the pupils share a common identity with one another. It worked pretty good, all things considered. No bullying, no violence, and not much random excitement.

Then again, Kuoh Town wasn't exactly the biggest of towns in Japan. He could take a bullet train to get to Tokyo in an hour, but the town itself was fairly rural compared to most. People usually came to live here for the low rent and to enjoy its peacefulness. He used to be a city boy when his parents moved, and Issei couldn't be any more glad to have returned to his hometown. He wasn't made to be in crowds and the bustles of city life was just irritating at most. Sure the entertainment was plenty. Strip malls, weird cafes, huge arcades, strange friends, loud city noises — but he just wasn't built to live in a city for more than three years.

Once he moved back here with his mother, he never looked back. Even his father came home the next year.

His reveries were cut away by the laughter of his schoolmate. Momentarily, he glanced over towards their group. One man stood out from the rest as, well, he was the only guy in that circle.

Ikuse Tobio. The wolf-dog-guy. An okari-inu. At the moment laughing about something with Himejima Suzaku and Minagawa Natsume, two of which were bona fide humans. Usually a yuki-onna would be there somewhere, but Lavinia Reni was a year older and had graduated. She became a teacher's assistant right after. Speaking of which, she and Suzaku was one of the aptly named Great Onee-sama, along with her cousin Himejima Akeno — a nephilim, half-human, half-fallen angel, as well as Rias Gremory, a pure-blooded devil. Although Suzaku shared the same age as her fellow Great Onee-sama, her weak body had held her back a year because she missed her final exams.

Unfortunate, but such was life. She didn't seem to mind repeating a year that much, however, even after being given a chance to take a follow-up exam. Probably because she just wanted to share a class with her friends or maybe she was afraid of graduating into adulthood.

Either way, good for her.

Idly, Issei glanced back outside the window and re-adopted his role inside his imaginary music video. He was the class clown, but right now, the class clown wanted to act like an anime protagonist and be left mostly alone.

He watched as more and more students sauntered inside the school gate, plenty in school uniforms, and few in semi-formal clothes. His eyes fell at a white-haired two-horned oni who was giggling along with her fellow yōkai friends; one's a snow-haired kitsune posing the traditional 'kon kon kitsune' hand sign, and the other a floppy-eared brown-haired inugami. That one had a bakery somewhere in the town, if he recalled correctly, and rumored to have a morbid curiosity to fingers because they reminded her of breadsticks.

As long as she wasn't going to start eating fingers for real, Issei supposed he didn't have anything to worry about. For now.

Plenty of yōkai in his school and town than other species, but that was to be expected since their species avoided the big cities and were drawn to traditional towns such as Kuoh, where the laws weren't as strict and their lighthearted pranks were tolerated. It helped that he lived in Japan. Anywhere else like Europe for example, then vampires, elves, dullahan, grim reapers and such would be a more common sight.

Taking a sip of his now lukewarm drink, Issei idly sniffled his nose, wondering what would happen if things weren't so peaceful. Maybe some insane generic evil guy would try to blow up the school or something. Maybe he got to have some cool dragonic powers for no reason other than luck.

At least he was imagining things, until his mind got invaded by thoughts regarding his future prospects.

He knew he couldn't stay a bartender forever. Much as he enjoyed the job and learning more about the world of coffee, he wanted something more. What exactly? He had no clue as of yet, but then he wouldn't be haunted by these kinds of thoughts if he had one.

"Yo, Hyoudou, yow," came a stupid play on words as his classmate next to him decided it was time to bother him. A young man a year younger than him, with shaggy short brown hair that was shades lighter than his, and eyes as gray as the clouds. "What's up with you, dude? You've been staring out the window. This isn't even your seat."

"I was thinking how nice the day was until you got here and ruined the illusion."

"Geez, man, why you have to do me like that?" Genshirou Saji replied, acting hurt. "Also seriously? Coffee? This early in the morning and in this weather?"

"If it ain't cold I ain't drinkin' it."

"You got issues, dude," Saji sneered, shaking his head in disbelief. "Anyway… have you heard? We're getting a new transfer student this week."

That gained his attention. "No shit? Again?"

"Yeah. No shit. Again." Saji and Issei then glanced at Shidou Irina, a human-angel hybrid who had come home from England last semester. Everyone made a fuss about her being Issei's childhood friend and couldn't believe he thought she was a boy. Until they saw a picture when they were kids, of course. And then whenever anyone wanted to tease that twin-tailed girl, they just called her name with a -kun, and Irina would be glad to chase them down the corridor, wailing 'I'm a girl too you know!'

"Today?"

Saji shrugged. "Some time this week?"

"Boy or girl?" inquired Issei.

"I dunno, Professor Oak," Saji said flatly, sitting his ass atop the head of the chair in front of Issei's current table, which belonged to someone else. "I hope it's a cute girl…"

"Yea cuz we're definitely short on that department," Issei pointed out. "Look around. Name one girl here that isn't cute or pretty. You and me are like the ugliest around."

Several of his female classmates blushed and tittered among themselves, happening to overhear their conversation.

"Hey, speak for yourself."

"I'll buy you fuckin' mirror."

"Whatever," Saji scoffed. "But another cute girl won't hurt, right? Hope it's a guy though. We're like, running low on dudes. Normal dudes. If it's a guy but he looks like Kiba, then let's make a plan to cause an accident on him.."

"True," Issei nodded plaintively. "To all statements."

Yuuto Kiba was handsome and nice and kind, and that was exactly the problem with exceptionally handsome bishies like him; they hog all the attention from most girls. Even from girls with boyfriends. Not his fault, but Issei liked to make fun of everyone equally anyway.

Saji sighed. "Yea right, right. Especially with the M&M's being gone. Never as many insane stories anymore. Like c'mon. What kind of sick psycho would run down the science hall blasting off a fire extinguisher and pull down the fire alarm? Just to skip Biology!"

"Yeah," Issei nodded, grinning along, sharing a fond stupid memory with this dumb classmate of his. "Matsu's a special kind of idiot. Remember that one time he ran into a glass door because he was chasing someone? Smashing that whole thing?"

"PF— yea. He didn't even bleed. With the stunts he pulled you never understand how his pants kept his balls of steel contained."

Issei absently nodded, a wide smile on his face. "I know right? He was the fucking king. Shit… It's almost been a year."

"Motohama too," Saji then added. "That crazy bastard exploded the boy's toilet dropping whatever the fuck that thing is."

"Sodium," Issei sniggered. "If that four-eyes wasn't always the top of his entire year he would have been expelled I swear."

"Ohhh dude, you should've seen Sona's face."

Issei made a face as if he had just seen someone getting their balls whacked and sympathized with him. "I heard she was busting ass to kick him out of the school."

"She was fucking livid," Saji cackled. "It was like she wanted to have him publicly executed, full on French revolution style. She looked so hot when she's pissed off though."

Great. Because that was exactly what he wanted to hear when he was reminiscing about his lost pals. "Alright lover boy, you ruined it. Now fuck off and keep chasing her skirt, you mutt… Or I'll tell Momo."

"Hah! Go ahead and tell her, she knows already!" Saji sneered, "I get that humans are monogamous, but polyamory is great, dude. You should try it."

That's right. Humans were the one and only species who firmly held the belief of having one lifetime partner. No wonder their population was in decline — people like Saji were a dime a dozen.

"Sure. Maybe when I have a yacht or make six figures a month."

"Bahhh, you're thinking too far into the future, Ise. C'mon, you're a funny guy. Girls like talking to you now that your mind isn't constantly in the gutter. Live in the moment, dude," Saji urged, bro-slapping Issei's arm, causing him to fake a whining cry, acting like he was stabbed much to Saji's amusement and a few onlookers. "See? Exactly what I'm talking about. You're quick-witted and a shithead, and you've been single for what…"

"Since before I was born," Issei quipped. Being a virgin wasn't a huge deal anymore. In fact, people were impressed by his wizard-like resilience for rejecting obvious invitations for no strings attached one night stand by the succubi in this school. They liked virgins, for whatever reason. Must be a succubi thing.

He got invited by a bisexual incubus too, thinking he swung that way. Issei kindly turned him down, and ended the circulating rumor that he was gay in that very day.

Call him an old-timer or sentimental, but Issei intended to listen to his father's words of not doing something he might regret and 'keep it real'. He knew who he was, and he knew he wasn't the type of person to just fuck and leave and pretend nothing happened. Other people might do it, and good for them. But he had the integrity of a stubborn human that simply wanted to love and be loved in return before doing the deed.

Problem started to rise when he couldn't tell what separate 'love' and 'lust'.

"See?! The guys have been wondering how the hell you stayed single all this time when you make chicks cluck like hens everyday 24/7. Shit, you even made Sona laugh once! Who the hell does that?"

Issei gave his dirty-blonde friend a look. "That's the stupidest metaphor I've heard so far."

"Look. You know what I mean," Saji leapt off his seat as he noticed his ice-girl girlfriend entering the classroom. "Don't be a worrywart, Ise. You're still too young for that kind of stuff. It's the last year of our school-life. We don't even go to school everyday anymore. So ease up a little, fuck it, and let's go all out, yeah?"

"If I say 'yes', will that make you fuck off?"

Saji ignored the jibe. "What about we make a bet, the first girl walks in that door, you go up and ask her out? If you get shot down, I'll treat you to all you can eat sushi. Who knows? Maybe it's the new kid. That'll be one hell of a first day impression."

"Assuming it's a she. But free sushi? Count me in," Issei rubbed his hands altogether, his grin emerging. Trading dignity for a free meal? Pfft— he'd sell his dignity for a free ticket to the movies.

"That's my guy," Saji laughed as he left, strutting along the desks. Issei specated as he tossed his hands to the air as he greeted Hanakai Momo with an extravagant fashion that immediately put her on the spot, flustering her ivory white cheeks with the color red, dropping the room temperature a single degree, while the rest of the students laughed at her boyfriend's antics.

That guy was still in the StuCo, believe it or not. He first got there to get close to Sona but ended up actually enjoying the work. Good for him.

As for Issei, it was too late for him to join a club now. Sure he had passed the national exam last year and this last year wouldn't even have as many subjects as the last, but he wanted to leave his day open so he could help out at the cafe. Earn himself some extra dosh to be poorly spent on alcohol or into his savings so he could finally get a motorbike.

He wanted to go vroom one day. Preferably with a big-breasted girl on his back, so he could pull the break all of the sudden and experience 'The Squishening'.

All in all, maybe he was worrying too much. This was his last year. Might be the last year where he got to see these people before they all spread away to different regions or even countries.

Fuck it. The year was about to end, and he swore to make it an introduction to his most bombastic year. What did that mean? He had no idea, but if he didn't end this year on a high note, then he'd… think of something to punish himself for failing to meet his target. No wanking for a month or so. That'd be a pretty cruel punishment.

Not needing to steel his resolve as it was rock-solid already, Issei got up from Kuroka's seat — whose owner was still nowhere to be seen, positively late.

The school bell rang.

He saw Saji eyeing him and the door expectantly, and seemed to have told some of the girls and a few guys about their bet. The whole class soon had their eyes on him, and then the door, the door and then him, holding their breath as the air seemed to have thickened with anticipation.

It was as if a bomb had been set off when someone opened the sliding door, and entered the intensely silent classroom.

Issei's eyes widened to a saucer, but he eased himself down. He was built for this; to drown out the noises and focus on what was ahead of him.

"OH MY GOD," one of the students had begun to freak out, hardly containing her excitement.

"PFFFT— shhh-shh! Quiet!"

"Come on Ise, give it to her!" another girl shouted. "The worst she could say is no!"

"...Says you…" muttered one particularly forlorn guy. "You shot me down and told me you'd rather date a monkey."

"Quiet!"

Issei couldn't help but laugh at himself, laughing at how fate had decided to mess with him. Welp. He had no chance of success, but free sushi was free sushi, and only pussies walked out of a bet, no matter how unexpected things turned out to be.

With the heart of a lion and straightened posture devoid of shame, a trademark of class clowns all around the world, Issei approached the stunning woman, currently giving a weird look at her students that were staring at her with stifled laughter. She was dressed in a long-sleeved purple sweater underneath a white coat. A black business skirt reached down to her knees, with a leg slit revealing her thighs that were wrapped in black stockings. Her emerald green eyes were a stark contrast to her long wavy hair with the color reminding him of a cherry blossom petal. It was elegantly braided as per usual, and cascaded down her shoulder.

A pair of spiraling horns rested by each side of her head, though in his eyes they were more like hair ornaments at this point as he had grown so used to seeing horny people.

She was a devil, after all, and she was one of his school's hot nurses and temporary homeroom teacher since Rossweisse caught a cold. Everyone couldn't be more ecstatic about this unexpected turn of events, as several of the students had their phone up and recording to immortalize this scene.

"Roygun-sensei, as we both are hot people; wanna go out and be the hottest couple?" Issei fired his shot, his empty plastic cup in one hand because he was going to throw it away after this.

Roygun Belphegor blinked. A look of surprise, but it soon shifted into the look of someone who caught a grasp of the situation at hand, and confidently gave a coy smile.

"Is this the best you can do?" she teased back, eyes hinting at the item in his hand. "An empty plastic cup?"

Issei glanced at the cup with the Coffee Shock logo on it. "It's biodegradable."

The students snickered.

"Deciding to be an environmentalist, I see. Who set you up for this?"

"Saji," Issei blandly said. "And the promise of free all you can eat sushi."

"Is that so? Do I get to enjoy the bet as well?"

"He made it a point to say he'll only treat me if I get shot down."

Roygun raised her sleek eyebrows. "Oh? Then regardless of my answer, I'll end up missing out on something while you gain something? Not very chivalrous from the two of you."

"Oof," a wince out of sympathy was heard.

"Ahh, but Sensei, you're already making more than enough to have full course sushi for a month. Why throw away your dignity just to keep me out of a free meal."

"Supposedly so…" Roygun muttered. "Free sushi is free sushi, no?"

"Damn straight," Issei sagaciously nodded, earning himself more snickers from his classmates, still on the very edge of their chair or desk or their boyfriend's lap.

"Then what about you and I head out there after school. I've been dreaming of eating raw meat lately."

Issei shrugged, his mind on autopilot. "Welp. Swing and a miss. I hope you're happy, Saji. You better cough it up—" and then his mind properly registered her words, and realized that wasn't a rejection, so he turned around to the hot school nurse. "Wait a minute, that's illegal."

"It happens to be perfectly legal, now that you are twenty and is in the last year of your school."

"Yer shittin' me," Issei blinked, his accent slipping.

"Am I? I've been asked out by worse, but never a student. How bad can you be? I am a devil, in case you've forgotten. If you think I'd pass on such fresh blood… then you are terribly mistaken, young man."

Issei wasn't sure how to react other than to stand there, owlishly staring at Roygun who gave him a playful wink.

"Holy shit— IT'S A YES! HE SCORED OUR HOT NURSE!" His classmates had an idea, however, as the class erupted into cheers and uproarious laughter as tables were banged and hands were clapped as their excitement peaked and their morning was made.

"Alright, alright, zip it and sit down, you animals," Roygun demanded, walking past her new date, albeit not without a self-satisfied giggle. She sat before the teacher's desk, which wasn't advised but who cares since nobody in her temp class was a snitch. "Class is starting soon and I don't want anyone making a big deal out of this. I know some of you rascals have slept with the principal."

"Who hasn't?" said the succubus on the back.

"Clearly those who aren't stupid or constantly horny, Lilim." Roygun pointedly replied, much to the joy of the students. Then she noticed one student that was still standing in front of the class, still with that garbage in his hand. "Get to your seat, Hyoudou. Or would you rather sit down on my lap?"

It was at that very moment where she thought this might be pretty fun. She might even be a teacher for the sake of teasing her new plaything. She could already picture the poor fool furiously blushing like all the boys she had teased. All bark and yet no bite when she barked back. They dared to fantasize about her yet none had the guts to 'play' with her.

She didn't expect much from Class 4-A's joker, but she kept her expectations relatively low to avoid disappointments and simply enjoyed the result no matter how pitiful. It was key to live a not-so-dull life as a devil. Besides, at the very least, she expected him to be able to make her laugh once in a while… Assuming his courage didn't shrivel like dried raisins.

With hootings and a poorly-replicated whistling noise from one of the male students who couldn't whistle, Hyoudou Issei absently nodded as he, at the very last, dumped his drink on to the garbage bin. Then he walked to a desk, and took a seat.

On the teacher's chair.

And with the confidence and the shamelessness possessed by none other than this Hyoudou, hazel brown eyes looking straight to her eyes, he said to her,

"I'd rather you sit on mine."

Roygun widened her eyes as the class once again entered an uproar. The girls squealed their trademark high-pitched 'KYAAAAH!' while the boys pant-hooted like lovestruck baboons. Cheers and woots drowned the previous silence as a bunch of people had another good time because of their beloved class jester's witty and confident delivery.

In that moment, Roygun smiled. A devilish one compared to his smug tightlipped smirk. The kind of smile of someone mildly impressed and amused. She found it hard to believe that her cheeks were actually getting warmer and her heartbeat beat a pace faster.

He might fare better than she thought. She had always enjoyed listening to his stupid harmless jokes or his tales whenever one of his weak-to-sun classmate visited her office. Even the teachers regarded him as a decent young man despite his less-than-average grades and didn't particularly mind of his antics since he timed his moments just right to not be one of those imbecile class clowns who was being funny for the sake of getting attention.

But Roygun didn't expect him to be this... ballsy, so to speak.

Issei himself was well aware Roygun saw her agreement meant nothing more than an agreement to play a game… Fine by him. Who wouldn't want to play a game with the extremely spicy hot school nurse?

In case she hadn't realized it yet, Issei could drive himself to be a competitive player.

Besides — fuck it, right? He had nothing to lose anyway, and his sense of shame was practically nonexistent, all thanks to the M&M idiots who had taught him how to grow a pair under their tutelage. He had decided to make this year his insane one, what better way to make the first step by out-deviling the devil in her own game?

Easy to outrun a fish, but to outswim it? Now that is a different kind of victory.

His kind of victory.

…And hey, maybe he could actually learn something from an allegedly responsible working adult, and get a grip on what he wanted to become. A teacher's lapdog was definitely not one, no matter how smoking hot she was. Didn't mean that Issei won't bark at her for the heck of it.


To be continued…


Alt. chapter title: HE SHOOT, HE SCORES!

Mmmmm. Hololive cameos. Such is the joy of being a fanfic writer

And yes, I do think girls in knitted sweaters are feckin cute. I'm 100% biased and 100% upset I live in a tropical country where I rarely get to see my own SO wearing that thing. I'd have moved out if not for friggin rona

what the shit danzy, so many characters already and this is just the first chap!

There's plenty of red herrings in this chapter. Lavinia, Valerie Tepes, the mystery transfer student, Kuroka, his own classmate — but nope. It's Roygun friggin Belphegor, because mmmm hot anime school nurse waifu

Is she the Refugees Roygun?

Well, she is and she isn't. I can tell you she won't have PTSD in this one, nor will anyone because this world is mine and peaceful and screw your geo-political views and unquenchable thirst of bringing real-life issues into my fictions, because I'm already sick and tired of reading it on the news

Morals are also, obviously, a bit loose. The world is run by devils and fallen angels for a reason — cuz they fuck a lot

I'll add Roygun to the character thingy on the next chapter to avoid spoiler

Anyway, did you guess right?

Issei telling nothing about other species at the beginning is intentional. It's to highlight that things aren't really different, and this world, even with its extraordinary residents, is mostly ordinary. I gave Kunou and Yasaka a different personality than canon because… well, they don't have a faction to lead. They're just normal people here, and I think i made that pretty clear.

Koneko's in her Shirone mode 24/7 because she didn't have a reason to be angsty at Kuroka, and therefore didn't stunt her own growth.

Why am i writing this instead of continuing Everyday Life with Supernatural Girls? Well, frankly speaking, that story is pretty much complete. And I like this version of Issei better. He's got balls. He's a class clown who has no trouble fitting in, just having the trouble of figuring out where he really wanted to be. I think someone said this exact thing but I forgot where i read it

He can flirt back without necessarily being a creep or a smooth casanova, won't gasp before the sight of the many big-boobad dxd girls, a contained pervert —as all people are, don't even deny it— and he's got ordinary people's problems. Kind of an asshole. The nice kind of asshole. An asshole with a heart. Not necessarily made of gold, but he's got a heart.

No there won't be any sacred gears. Read the author's note first for once before asking, you horny mutts.

No dramas, not a single action scene or cool flashy fights like that, because jesus christ, i have to fry my brain for writing that kind of scene. But I'm No Gamer, Death's Chosen, Academy DxD, Fates Reforged, The Devil, and even Refugees — these drained my serious inspiration juice just like my taxes to my wallet. This story is gonna be light and real.

Give them a read btw. Cuz they're mine and is pretty OK ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)

So yeah. I'm having another go at the slice of life genre of dxd that I like to think I started when I wrote Everyday Life. You can think of this as Refugees without depression and war, with a slightly less-wise Issei that cracks jokes but is insecure about his future. Or you can think of it as a reboot of Everyday Life with Supernatural Girls: Part 2 Electric Vindaloo

Does Roygun have something in her mind? Did she say yes because she took him as a challenge? Will Issei expand his mature women harem? Will Yasaka's tails become his? Will he end up dating both Kunou and the foxy mommy, entering the oyakodon route? Will he give Koneko headpats while patting Kuroka's boobas? Will he out-sadist Akeno? Will he ever smear sunscreen over Rias body? Will Valerie Tepes be able to control her urge to drain Issei's yummy pure human blood? Can he control himself during the beach episode? Will Ingvild 'Vivi' Leviathan ever learn that Irina's twin-tails aren't for tugging?

Will Saji ever get Sona — yea fat chance.

Because I'm not like most writers; the answer to all that what ifs is a solid yes. Except Ingvild's struggle with Irina's hair and the part where he dates both kunou and yasaka. Not so sure about that chief. I dunno how to write that kind of relationship without making it awkward as heck, because I like a bit of realism even in a silly haram harem dxd story. Just a bit though.

But don't worry though, even if this ultimately become a haram harem story, which will take a while because I like to build up relationship first, I won't force any romance. Even Roygun and Issei aren't head over heels with each other and just sort of on a trial, and his 'girlfriends' will each have their own life and won't latch themselves to Issei every single seconds in a day.

You can repay me by following this damn story and leaving a fockin' review, elsewise I'll have to scrap this one or deploy truck-kun to this story and isekai one of your waifus


If you have suggestions about what dxd characters can fit into a folklore creature, then please, do go ahead and suggest. While devils and yokai are commonly seen in Kuoh, I wanna add more variety. For example, I made Momo Hanakai and Lavinia Reni ice-women-thing from Japanese folklore, and Irina a human-angel hybrid. Apparently they're called Nephilim, but I don't think it's quite right because it has bad implications behind the name.

Who do you think will make a fine succubus? Raynare's an obvious answer but I want at least one pure fallen angel in the story for reasons. Think of her like a token black guy every movies start to have, except with an actual role rather than just being there and pretend they add weight to the movie.

I don't mind adding more vampires too, since dxd only ever focused on Valerie and Gasper and that one other chick I forgot the name of. And Gasper is a dhampir. I thought of adding characters from other show to pad up the variety, but they'll mostly be side-characters that occasionally get mentioned as cameos, just like I did with Ayame, Fubuki, and Ko'one

Basically I'm turning Kuoh Academy to a zoo, and i want your help. I don't need it, but i want it.
Teachers are important too. Azazel's the principal so he's out. Rossweisse is obvious. Griselda is a maybe. Dulio can be kinda funny. I can't have any of the 4 great satans because all of them are busy and I'm not interested in any of them aside from Serafall for obvious reasons.

Mirko as the PE Teacher would be the bomb though. That in mind, any hot animu teacher waifus that deserve more screen time? Don't worry about Rossweisse because I won't get rid of her. Or, if there's any dxd characters you wanna see more, then suggest away. They're too old? PFFFT- this is my world. I decide how old they are, and it'll make sense anyway because this world is peacefully dull.

I can even have Sirzechs marry a human girl, and unlock the Grayfia route. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Don't bother with those rabid fans reeeing over there because I split them apart. Who gives a shit about them. Not us, that's for sure. If they're upset over something this menial then that's their problem

I know there's that one chick from that Shinmai stuff. The poor man's dxd, as some would say, or the better dxd. Me? I don't care.
her name is Chisato Hasegawa (i just googled), and she looks pr decent. Won't even clash with Roygun's personality because Roygun is clearly the flirtier out of the two by miles.

Still, I dunno about adding characters from other shows, because dxd already have a fuck ton of cast that is underdeveloped.

So yea. Suggest away. I already have my spreadsheet open listing the teachers and students and other characters, so don't worry about me being unable to keep up with the cast. Like ishibumi did. Cough.

And while you write down the names, go ahead and guest who this transfer student is. Bonus cookie for anyone who guessed correctly, I'll even put up your name in the next chapter. (Not like people will remember it but hey. Free exposure)

okthxbaiilyjk