You know, it wasn't until today I realized one thing; you lot probably can't experience a 'normal' high school life either. Mandates and masks and social distancing and shit. Sorry man. Covid sucks. Insane how the last 2 years just sort of blitzed through like lightning — I'm assuming my demographic are 12-18 year old dudes with a spangle of 20+ yo boomers like me

Like bro. People born in 2000 are now 21 or 22. The first X-Men movie and the first The Sims game are just as old as these runts

Let that sink in. Feel old with me

Alright, with that sentiments out of the way, follow the goddang story or I'll remove one of Yasaka's tails.


Highschool DxD


[Chapter 4]

|| The Clown, the Bet and the Monkey ||


Good morning.

Shidou Irina here.

I'm a nephilim, but the good kind! I'm every bit an ally of justice, and I am one of the few girls in Class 4-A that has remained devoted to staying in the path of the light!

At least, I'm trying, okay? I'm doing my best here! There's one surreptitious succubi in my class and a cambion is my best friend, and they both refuse to stop trying to cram my impure head with pure thought— pure head with impure thoughts!

My dad is an angel and my mom is a human. High school sweethearts who stayed as sweethearts all the way to the aisle. They kept being lovey-dovey when they had me, and I've never seen or heard them fight in my eighteen years of being their daughter. Granted, my mom is an angel both body, heart and soul, and my dad is one of those 'hopeless romantics' that wants nothing more than a loyal wife he can devote his heart to to live a perfect romantic life.

It helps that he becomes a Pastor.

The Protestant one, because Catholics get hissy at the possibility of preaching our Lord and Savior's grace while being married for some reason. Sure it's lovely to be able to devote your every being to Jesus and such, but never in the Bible is it mentioned that thine must turn down a loving woman, who is beautiful as she is kind.

Oh well. Religions created by humans have always been a bit weird, and they are one of the ancient practices that have been steadily fading away in these modern times. It's good and everything, but apparently, a long long time ago, in a galaxy that is the Milky Way, when humans used to rule the Earth, religions split people apart instead of uniting them. What's the point right? People can be nice without a guide book if they're nice people to start with.

But I don't know. I know what I believe in and I have met God. He's a very cool old guy, and His beard is very long and white. He apparently likes to eat salsa with His Son Jesus and His brother; Juan.

Technically, if we're part-humans, then we are all related to one another. Not saying I support illicit relationships with your own close relatives.

Anyway.

…I'm not saying I must have what my parents have or anything… But I still think it's a nice thing to have in a world where everyone's openly unfaithful to one another, no matter their reasoning. I don't understand why people would want to have more than one soulmate… Do they ever consider their significant other's feelings? Won't they just get jealous? Or is it because of how I was raised? As a daughter from a monogamous couple?

Hmmm…

…So… Yeah. I hope you can understand why I'm mad at a certain idiot.

I know this feeling isn't fair. It isn't his fault… I got too complacent.

I'm disappointed in myself but first and foremost, I was raised to be honest with myself. I 'kept it real', as that dummy head said. I say things as it is. I hate when people lie to me or others, but I just… you know. When it comes to confessing yourself, your body sort of seized up and you just wanted to run away. It's not like I didn't try… I thought I was safe since Ikkun didn't have a girlfriend, so maybe I got too careless.

It might be a joke thing, what he's having with Roygun-sensei, but this pain is no joke, I'll have you know.

Sniffles.

Serafall Leviathan, who happened to be sitting next to our narrator, eating her meal with her new friends, winced and stared in surprise as Irina slapped her cheeks.

"A-Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Irina smiled. "Just trying to… pep myself."

"...Well if you say so."

Alright! NO time to be sad! It's not like I'm just going to give up or anything, if anything, I'll just have to put the pedal to the medal and— and… you know. Be more aggressive. Like what Kiryuu had told me when she found out I like Issei.

A-Ahem… Why don't I tell you something about myself and my class instead of listening to me gush about some stupid boy? Who is always there for me when I'm sad and make me laugh…

No! I'm not heartbroken— you're just projecting!

Like I mentioned, I keep it real. I've never acted like I'm a girl that doesn't like a bit of roughhousing with the boys, because the boys are just more fun to joke around with physically. They slap and smack each other whenever from time to time, on the head, on their back, on their butt, and I think I can understand why they do it; it's stupid fun.

Obviously I avoid the general bottom area. Dad told me I must only do that slap on the person I like.

So I did, and guess what Issei did? He slapped me back! On my butt! And he gave me a score of 8 out of 10 for the sound they make— what in the Heavens?!

It should've been a perfect 10! I have confidence in my rump! Kiryuu even said I have a good ratio of flesh and elasticity!

Because of that, I never slapped him anywhere but his arms or back or the back of his head. …Kiryuu told me I should just 'floor it' until he became aware that I want him to see me as more than just childhood friends, but… I mean, I'm scared of the change, okay? It's painfully obvious he doesn't see anything more than just close friends. I don't think I can keep it together if the turns me down or agrees out of pity. And more importantly, I don't want to screw up what we have…

A-Ahem. Come on Irina… Keep yourself together.

"Seriously, Shidou. You're starting to freak me out. If you want to experience the joy of being a masochist, you don't have to pay me if you want me to be your private tutor."

"N-No! I'm just trying to stay awake, is all!"

"Uh-huh…" Kiryuu muttered, not buying it. This angel hybrid was probably thinking about the clown again. "So, Sera-chan~ while we're on the topic, are you a top or bottom?"

"Hm? Why, top of course. I'd like to be on top of everything," Serafall said, momentarily reverting to her idol persona, nearly as innocent as Ingvild. "...Why are you girls giggling?"

"You have rice on your cheek," Ingvild said as she plucked a piece of white rice off her face, then fed herself, and continued to eat her small lunchbox quietly.

As Katase and Murayama squealed, Kiryuu smiling proudly at her little heart stealer prodigy, Serafall proceeded to blush furiously. One because of her shameful display of eating etiquette, and secondly because of Ingvild's casual attitude as if what she did was perfectly acceptable and normal.

I'm grateful that the boys don't make it weird, but I think it's because they're already used to other girls like me in their past years as students of this school— wait, what are these girls squealing about…

Eh. Probably Vivi.

I know I'm not the only girly tomboy here. Not just the entire school, but in my class as well. I get along well with Meguri Tomoe and Chiba Erika in my class. There's also class 4-B Isabela as well as Tiamat, and 4-C's Tsubasa Yura.

No, she's not Tiamat the Dragon King. That Tiamat lives in the Dragon Isles.

Our school's Tiamat is Tiamat's granddaughter. Her full name is Tiamat the Third.

Yes. Dragons name their offspring after themselves. It gets very confusing but it's normal for them. Just like why some devils have more than one first name.

Wish I had a middle name... Something cool-sounding like… Rodriguez or Sebastian. So that makes me… Shidou Irina Sebastian…?

…Huh? Won't that become my last name then?

Ughh— I got so used to living in the UK. People there don't have backward names and call everyone by their name. The students here get flustered when I do that. It's kinda cute, so I won't complain.

Tomoe is apparently born from a family of ninjas, and that makes her a kunoichi. Legends say ninjas used to assassinate people for a living… they can blend in the shadows. But that was a long time ago. It might've been something made up. There's a rumor saying they can run faster by leaning almost 90 degrees forward with their arms outstretched behind their back. Tomoe tried that and she tripped and fell on her face and said whoever started the rumor is an evil person.

Her being a kunoichi is supposedly meant to be kept a family secret, but she always brag about it when she gets the chance. And when I went to her place, all her family started performing their ninja tricks. I think they just like to show off for being a human who can do unordinary human things.

Like that time she jumped off the roof just to show everyone she can fly with just a sheet.

She gave everyone a heart attack that day and she got into detention for a week-long, but she did prove her point. She's also a part of the Student Council, hence the reason why she's good friends with Genji and Momo and Reya-mama.

Reya? Yep. She's one of the class' mothers. Eyup. Mothers. We have two of them; Reya and Suzaku. Reya is a nephilim like me, except she has fallen angel blood from her mother's side of her family. While Reya is the gentle, softly spoken, natural chef and overall a perfect mom, Suzaku is the awkward one who tries her best to be a good mom despite having scary eyes and a chilly personality.

People used to be scared to approach her because of her dignified air. She also happens to live in a shrine with her cousin, Himejima Akeno, a half-fallen angel and half-succubus who I never get to meet. But Kiryuu said she had her eyes on Issei because he got along well with the former members of the Occult Research Club.

She's a half-fallen angel and half-succubus… That's like… That's like double the bad news.

Thanks, Issei, you joker…

He really is the joker. In card terms, I mean, not the sociopathic DC villain. Issei is like a wildcard that can go anywhere without looking out of place.

Ingvild is in that club. She loves everything horror. There's this one time we watched the scariest movie I've ever seen… made in Thailand… and when everyone was screaming from the jumpscare, including all of the boys except Issei and Naofumi because they're weirdos who are immune to horror, Ingvild just went 'Oh. There she is. I was wondering how she looks like.'

She's as adorable as a baby panda, but she frightens me sometimes. Her 'drawings' are… pretty disturbing too, to say the least… Not that it's gorey or anything that extreme, just… Let's just say she can expertly draw 'creatures' that look like eldritch creatures.

But she can draw cute things too. Her doodles are adorable — and fill up a whole page of her notebook.

Moving along…

Chiba Erika, or Erika, is a harpy. Though you can't tell instantly because like me, we have to keep our wings folded inside our back. Don't ask how it works. I've no idea myself. And when I asked my dad about it, he just shrugged and said, and I quote; 'Dad has no clue. Must be one of God's mysterious ways.'. I just sort of accepted it because who am I to question God?

Back to Erika — She is pretty, as is her short, wavy strawberry red hair. Her voice ranges from sexy sultry alto (according to the boys) when she's making fun of someone to high-pitched shriek when she's angry at someone.

She's part of Kuroka's gang of Bikou and Lilim, mainly because of her not-one-step-back boyish attitude that meshed well with our class' resident troublemakers. She's openly admired by the girls because of her cool big sister energy, in contrast to Kuroka who is just a straight up flirty cat and generally more of a doting big sister rather than a cool one.

She's sort of the… uh… what is it called again… a problem kid? Someone with attitude? Something like that. Oh! Delinquent! That's the word.

And the reason is—


"Where's Ise?!"

Irina jumped on her seat, tossed out of her inner monologue as a black-haired boy with pale skin and black jacket barged into the classroom, alerting the only remaining girls in there who were having a peaceful time.

He gasped for breath, not used to running this far.

Or running in general.

Kuroka was the first to reply because she had been cruelly yanked out of her nice dreamland of sardine and catnips. "Hey! Quiet! Somenyan's trying to sleep here?!"

Iwatani 'Iwafumi' Naofumi winced and physically jerked back. He had gotten over his fear of girls, all thanks to the boys and the girls of this class — and they might see Kuroka as cute or adorable or whatever adjective they want to describe the Black Cat, but Naofumi was intimidated by her the most.

No thanks to Kuroka angrily glared at him when he accidentally bumped into her little sister. Shirone was too short and Naofumi wasn't paying attention since he was sleep-deprived. …That little incident caused Hyoudou Issei to buy him a bottle of melatonin, and Naofumi never had any sleeping problems ever since, and marginally got better in terms of physicality.

He still felt sluggish during sunny days, nevertheless.

Still… Kuroka could be a bit scary when angry.

"J-Jeez, Iwafumi! You nearly made us all spill our meal!" Murayama growled, as Katase sitting next to her in their makeshift picnic table had her half-flopped ears completely unfolded, its soft fur frizzing up. She didn't shout at him, however, since Murayama already handled that.

"Hello Mr. Naofumi. Are you okay?"

"M-My bad… and hi Vivi… I'm okay, thanks…" Naofumi stammered, looking apologetic and waving at Ingvild as he nodded, but then he scowled as this was an urgent situation and these girls failed to see that. "Wait a minute— where's Ise?"

"Calm down, take it easy Mr. Dark Hero," Kiryuu said calmly, already having a picture in her head as to why the class' quiet kid was this nervous. Someone probably got themselves into trouble again and he scrambled all the way here instead of using his cell phones to call someone.

Typical of vampires and dhampirs and their old-fashioned ways. This is what you get for staying too long in the dark.

"Take a deep breath," she continued, "and tell us why you're looking for the clown."

Doing just so, Naofumi breathed a long exhale as he told the girls, "It's Chiba…"

Nobody was surprised. Except Serafall.

"Of course it's Chiba," Kiryuu sighed. "Where and who is she fighting at…"

"The back of the OSB… With Apophis… I think…" Naofumi gasped, short on breath. "Damn it… I… Why did I even go that far…" Then he remembered; he was weaseling away from Rapthalia who wouldn't stop trying to feed him with stuff because she saw Kazuma was being fed by his new girlfriend.

That damn raccoon girl…

"Grab a seat, Count Chocula," Kiryuu then ushered. "You look like you just ran a marathon."

"...I might as well have… Where's Ise?"

"Relax, Batman. I'm texting him now," she replied, one-handedly typing a message that said 'Chiba vs Apophis. OSB. Stat.'

"Oh… Alright…" Naofumi wheezed, dropping to an empty seat, still unable to catch his breath. "...Thanks…"

"Mhmm. Next time, consider using your own phone."

There was a moment of silence, followed by a 'whack' as the dhampir introduced his face to his palm.

Kiryuu cackled like a clucking hen, amused. Kiryuu the cambion and Issei the clown shared a glaring similarity whenever they laughed. Same, quiet 'heh heh heh' that eventually grew into the sound of a car starting if it was funny, then a honking goose if they found it hilarious.

That, or the gremlin-like cackle for when they were making fun of people. Depending on the situation.

"Is— isn't this bad?" Serafall worryingly asked, looking around, looking absolutely lost that nobody seemed to mind. "And what's OSB?"

"Old School Building," Irina answered, not feeling a sense of urgency as this happened on a weekly basis. "Last Friday, Erika got into a scuffle with one of the dragons next door for calling herself a chicken. Today's probably the continuation."

""Yeah."" Katase and Murayama nodded and muttered in unison. Murayama had finished her meal of cube beef while Katase was nibbling on her boiled carrot like a hamster.

Serafall still didn't understand their blase response. "Sh-shouldn't we help?"

"It's fine. Class Prez has it handled," assured Kiryuu as the girls nodded, mhmm-ing as well. "You'll get used to it, New Kid."

It was at that moment Serafall thought to herself… 'Am I with the bad guys?'


Break


"Where's Chib-Chib?"

"Dunno," Bikou replied, loud enough for his voice to pierce the background noises of the large school cafeteria as he gulped down a french fry dipped in the broth of his noodle-less bowl of ramen. "I went here with Lilim."

The mature-looking girl next to him shrugged her innocence on the matter.

Lilim was an authentic succubus through and through. Elven ears, voluptuous and a perfect hour-glass figure, buxom bust, black lips with a permanent devilish smile. A 'depraved beauty' yet a peerlessly beautiful woman, wrapped in a curves-emphasizing set of black sweater with a thick black furred collar with an exposed cleavage. Her perfume emanated a pleasing aroma of sinful temptation. No boys or men, regardless of age, shall look away the moment their eyes meet her pair of black slit pupils in orbs of luscious yellow.

Of course, if every male student in this school wasn't lusting after her body, then she had done something terribly wrong.

Which was why it frustrated her greatly when this virgin Issei kept rejecting her advances, no matter how bold.

She must make her move soon… Lest that devil Roygun snatched away her prey. He was the ultimate prize for all succubus and cambion alike; a healthy and popular virgin. The rarest of virgins. She could smell the same sweet scent of chastity from the New Kid too, except… his was… oddly fruity.

Strange. Fruity would imply he was a girl. A man's scent would be muskier. Delectably rich like cinnamon. Perhaps Xenovia hadn't been fully honest to the class?

…Well… He might be a fun toy to torture.

But for now, to suck up her saliva and finish her actual ramen with thick broth. She wouldn't allow it to get cold before it filled her belly.

Lilim loved warm, thick liquid, in case you couldn't tell.

"Huh," Issei shrugged, unaware of the succubus' inner thoughts and desire since he wasn't a superhuman with sin-radar. He was, however, a speedy eater with the appetite of a normal person, because he used to think of eating as a waste of time when he could be flipping skirts. Three years ago, anyway.

"...One headslap she's kneeing someone in the nads."

"Deal." The Monkey shook the extended hand, smiling smugly as the bet was made. "Hah… You're gonna regret this. Did you forget already? "

With his plate's contents had been thoroughly devoured, Issei reclined against the bench and idly rested his left hand on its new favorite spot; Xenovia's hair.

Said dullahan was scanning the area for danger, only to stiffen and guiltily lowered her head, shyly enjoying her leader's treatment towards her. During their earlier tour, Xenovia was this close to start referring to him as 'Master', the highest form of trust that all dullahan must consider thoroughly, as simply throwing the title to anyone would diminish its meaning.

Everyone knew about him, and everyone had their faces brightened when they saw him. She believed Hyoudou Issei was truly a king without a kingdom.

And she couldn't help herself to ask him about it. "Hyoudou-san."

"Hai. Hyoudou des," Issei said as flatly as possible. "Sup, Rookie? Want another serving of shrimp tempura? It's my treat still, so if you want the chance to drain my wallet; this might be your only day."

"If he says no, can I—"

"No."

Bikou sniffled, devastated to know that SS Bikou had sunk before it even managed to leave the harbor. Woe is he.

"N-No thanks, Hyoudou-san…" Xenovia muttered, nodding to show her appreciation to his generous offer. "I… Might I be frank and ask you a question?"

"Why'd you wanna be Frank? Xenovia's a more unique name y'know," his delivery caused Lilim to choke on her broth and Bikou to laugh at her. Satisfied with his friends' reaction, Issei stared at the earnest dullahan of his that just couldn't yet register a joke. "But sure, you can ask me a question. Is it my phone number?"

"No." Xenovia responded flatly, and Bikou slapped the table as he laughed at Issei's face. "...Are you alright?"

"Don't worry about him. His monkey side is acting up."

"I see…" Xenovia nodded, accepting it as fact. "Well… To put simply, I observed that the majority of students here, notwithstanding their gender, are aware of who you are. It's one thing to be known by the teachers, but every student? How do you do that? You're not even the top of the classroom in terms of ranking and intellect."

Bikou erupted. "Hah! I like this guy even more already—"

"Damn, Rookie. You got some sharp tongue, you know that?" Issei said, ruffling her blue hair with a little bit of more force than usual, turning it into a mess of cowlicks and several curled up locks.

Xenovia furrowed her brows, more concerned about her tongue rather than the chaotic state of her hair. "...Do I? My tongue seemed ordinary…"

"Really? Well why don't you stick it out?"

"...?" Fully entrusting him with this impromptu tongue inspection, Xenovia stuck out a bit of her tongue, barely reaching her chin.

"Mmyah!" And she yelped in surprise as Issei slapped it with a finger, hurriedly lowering the tone of her voice from that embarrassing noise she made. "Wh-wh-why did you do that for?!"

"You reap what you sow, Rookie," Issei said, wiping his index finger with a tissue. "See what I meant about him, Lim?"

"I can see why you like him," Lilim replied, darkly chuckling under her breath. "He's so honest… so gullible. So deliciously…incorrupt… I almost pity him that you brought him to our group."

"Oh yeah?"

"No. Are you kidding me? Compared to this?"

"Hey what did I do?" Bikou whined, once again a victim of a blameless crime.

"Existing," Lilim muttered without missing a beat.

"Kuroka said the same damn thing!"

"Great minds think alike," Issei completed, then turning back to Xenovia to deal with his question. "So… what were you saying again?"

Xenovia blinked, confused by their entire banter. So… brutishly informal. Like savages. "...Erm… I was wondering as to why everyone seems to know you, Mast— H-Hyoudou-san! I mean to say Hyoudou-san, nothing else."

"Mast…? Matsuda? You know him?"

"...Who?"

"Nevermind," Issei sighed, burying his hope, flipping the bird at Lilim who was giving him a condescendingly pitying look. "You're putting me way up on a pedestal, Newbie. It's next to impossible for me to know every single kid here. This school has like… what? A thousand students? And majority of those are in the elementary or mid school, and I can tell you for sure for sure I've no idea of any of those kids."

Bikou made a face. "What about little Milicas?"

"Well yeah, but he's Rias' nephew."

"Still know him," Lilim shrugged.

Issei conceded. "True."

"I didn't mean everyone in general," Xenovia then continued, unsatisfied with the answer. "Merely the high school students alone. I kept track of how many people greeted you or waved at you."

"Seriously?"

Bikou and Lilim exchanged a glance with each other, stating 'this New Kid is mental'.

"...Well how many?" Issei wheedled, now curious himself.

"Seventy-five."

And he was satisfied with the outcome, jutting out his bottom lip as Lilim also nodded in approval. "Huh. Not bad."

"Not bad indeed, Mr. Worldwide," purred Lilim, leaning in. "And I can tell for certain at least a quarter of those are succubuses such as myself… Just say the word, Ise. Let me guide you along the path to adulthood. I swear I'll give you a night impossible to forget."

"Tempting as it is, Lilim," Issei leaned in as well, his eyes level with hers, both their lips grinning. "I refuse to bed anyone that is just going to share a bed with another. I'm a selfish guy, y'see."

"Tsk. How boringly human…"

"And you are entirely depraved."

"Monopolizer," Lilim jabbed.

Issei dodged and delivered a right hook. "Nineteen-year-old cougar."

"I bet I can't even feel it."

"That happens if hole too big."

"You certainly have no idea… we can be perfectly snug at all times."

"Mhmm."

Lilim frowned. "Coward."

"Legs spreader."

"Virgin."

"Slut."

"I've hunted you down for the last two years, Hyoudou," she hissed. "This is our last year but it'll be the year. I've waited far too long for you."

"You're admitting you've been chasing me? For the past two years?"

"Of course," Lilim smirked. "It was during your sophomore year when you caught my attention," she tittered a sultry giggle, thinking she had finally got him where she wanted… Humans were so easily swayed with a little show of patience. "What, with all your activity with the Occult Research Club despite not being a member? And that whole shtick you had with our dear senior… Himejima Akeno? I just know I must have your first, no matter the cost. Thus I waited… and I waited. I took a gamble, and it paid off. Your popularity only soared since, and yet you remain chaste."

Xenovia had no idea what she was talking about, but it seemed serious and personal so she respectfully stayed away from it, keeping her eyes out for troubles instead.

"You're as ripe as you can be, Hyoudou… all I have to do is convince you to finally fall on my hands…"

His face was flat at first, as if blankly thinking for a moment. Then he raised a single eyebrow. "You waited. For two years."

"Of course~" Lilim smiled. "The longer the wait, the sweeter the fruit, no?"

"Lilim."

"Mhmm~?"

"Be honest with me."

"That depends on your question."

"Are you in love with me?"

"Wh-WHAT?! N-No!" The Temptress widened her eyes and pulled away, a furious scarlet color growing embarrassingly apparent across her pale white cheeks. "M-Me? Fall in love? And with you out of all people?! Never! Who do you think you are, you callow bastard?! Don't get ahead of yourself!"

''Gotcha now ya bastard,' Issei smirked. How to counter a succubus' tease? Pretend as if they're in love with you, and be as cheesy as possible that people might think you're turning yellow. And not because you happen to be Asian.

It'd freak them out like spraying water at cats, as was proven by this very moment.

"You sure?" he probed, unsurprisingly enjoying this more than he'd expected. "I mean… a succubus on a dry spell for two years is quite the dedication. I can't say I'm not touched by the gesture."

"No! Y-You're mistaken!" Lilim panicked, wary if there was any other succubus nearby. She couldn't be their laughing stock — she's their queen! "I waited because… because I was using it to trick you! Hah.. haha— yes… yes! My patience is merely a tool! Nothing more than a display to gain your humanly admiration that I, Lilim, descendant of the Great Lilith, had willingly allocated several years of my life in pursuit of my desire—"

"Which is me."

"Yes!"

"...Sounds like a confession."

"NO!" Lilim wailed, her cheeks getting redder and redder, and hotter that she had to cover them with her arm. "Nonsense! You're spewing nothing but nonsense! I am not in love with you or anyone! Never in a thousand years! I am the embodiment of lust and desire, my mother—"

"Forget about your mother or your heritage or whatever dark castle you spawned in," Issei said pointedly, almost like a sudden thrust of a dagger as he grabbed her by her wrist, yanking her. "I'm more interested about you. Two years is a long time, you know? You must be thirstier than a polar bear in a desert. You held back that long, for me?"

Lilim swallowed her spit, her mouth opening and shutting because no words seemed willing to come out from her throat. All the while her mind was screaming at her, What's going on? What's happening here? Why is she so distraught?! This doesn't make any sense— he is not making sense.

"You're just making up bullshit and saying it as though they're facts!

"What? The fact that you are in love with me, or…"

"I am not!" she insisted, but she could feel her heartbeat pounding against her chest. "No… No this isn't right… This can't be happening…"

"Try looking at me in the eyes and give it to me straight," Issei demanded. If he didn't go this far, then he'd just have to deal with this again in the future. Might as well close the door and lock it. He liked being friends with Lilim, but she could get annoying with her constant 'let's have casual sex'.

"C'mon, tell me you don't love me."

"...I-I don't… need to prove you anything! I know my feelings!"

"Well then look at me. Should be easy if that's the case, right?"

Lilim raised her tan yellow eyes to meet his, and became infuriated with herself because of how smug he appeared and how much of a wreck she had become.

"I don't…"

Issei looked like a father patiently waiting for his daughter's first word.

"L-Love—"

"Almost there."

"I don't… LOVE YOU!" Lilim yelled, catching the eyes of the many students who had been staring at them for quite a while, invested in the high school cafeteria drama. "Hah… haha— hahaha! S-See?! I don't love you! I'm not in love with you, not with anyone!"

"Hmm. What a pity." Issei patted the back of her hand before letting go. "Guess I'll try my luck with Roygun-sensei then."

"Hmph! Do as you wish!" Lilim pursed her lips. By the First Succubus, Lilith, whether intentional or not, he had set fire to her desire. She'd pull down her sweater and tempt him to take her right here, right now, if she wasn't so concerned about getting expelled as public indecency was one of the strictest laws. For succubi and incubi, obviously.

But he had embarrassed her in front of many… and Hyoudou must pay. She'd have to make him beg for her touch. Yes… She must make him crave for her body. Just her body. As a testament that lust trumps love if it becomes desperate enough.

"Just you wait, Hyoudou," Lilim smiled, delirious. "I'll make you wish this day never happened."

"Uh-huh," Issei rolled his eyes. And now, for the nail in the coffin; "So, ya wanna go out with me?"

"Fine!"

Issei shut his eyes. "...Wat."

"I said; fine!" Lilim spat, venomously mad. "Once you're done playing with that devil, I'll show you how horrible of a mistake you've made for ever making me cross with you. I will make you lust over me so completely in a single day, that there is no way for you to escape from my grasp. Trust me, Hyoudou. By the time we're over, you'll come crawling to me."

"Aaah… A game, eh…?" Well he already had an active one with Roygun, and he did swear to himself to just go full balls deep during his last year. Tormenting this cheeky seductress might be fun. "Alright. Okay, alright," he nodded, mostly to himself. "And if I last that entire day without wanting to dry hump your leg, you'll never bother me again?"

"Never. I swear on Lilith's name."

Ah… The poor girl. She had no idea how his resolve had steeled over two years of being Himejima Akeno and Rias Gremory's 'cute junior'. They had tempted him to hell and back, and back again. Issei believed it was thanks to their weekly tests that he had toned down his perversion substantially; because he liked to win on this sort of thing. Beating them in their own game might as well be his fetish.

"Alright," Issei smiled. "You got a deal."

"Hmph. I'm going back to class. You best prepare yourself, Hyoudou. Today will be the last day of your freedom," Lilim stood up, her hands crossed, and walked away.

His week just got twice as interesting. "Don't forget Kuroka's hojicha!"

"...Yeah, yeah!" Lilim shouted, dismissively throwing an arm back.

"What the hell man," Bikou blurted, abjectly impressed now that he finally counted the total number of second year seniors, which was 24 times 4. "That's like more than half of the guys in our year! …Wait… Yeah!"

"...It seriously took you that long to count that? The entire school is watching me and Ms. Fuck Me Eyes over here, and you're still on that topic?"

"What? I'm not a calculator. And she was shouting so I mentally tuned her out."

"...Holy hell, Bikou. Sometimes, I don't know if I should be impressed by your carefreeness or your stupidity."

The Monkey simply shrugged. "Why not both?"

"...Well?" and suddenly, another voice. Directly left to him.

"...Well what?"

"You haven't answered my question," Xenovia straightforwardly replied. Whatever happened earlier was none of her concern. Dullahan was not trained to handle a lover's quarrels. Of course someone like him must have several mistresses. It was a normal thing. It'd be strange for a man of his repute to not have any.

Issei blinked, blissfully unaware of Xenovia's trainwreck of a thought.

"You had a question?"

"...Yes…? I… asked you how you were widely renowned across this establishment."

"...Right," muttered Issei, in awe of these two special breeds of idiots. "Thing is; I've been in this school for four years, and I know all sorts of people so that certainly helps. Sometimes I meet them when they're with a friend, a sister, a brother, and then I meet their friend, sister, or brother, and have a chat with them. And so and so."

"I see… you must have a wide connection."

"...Eeeeyup."

"...You sound disheartened."

"Nope. Just lowering my expectations a few bars, that's all," he said, sighing as he felt a vibration in his right pocket. He drew out his phone, read Kiryuu's text, and gave Bikou a slap to his head.

"OW! What was that for?!"

"Erika's tussling with Apophis again. Probably called her a duck or a chicken or something," informed Issei as he stood up. "Take him with you, aight Monki? Ciao~"

Fuck… dammit. Fuck's sake Erika—" Bikou grunted, rubbing his forehead, cursing his luck as well as Erika. That troublemaker… "Well you heard the man. Let's go, Newbie."

"W-Where are you going?" Xenovia sputtered. "I'm supposed to protect you!"

"I'm protecting you right now so no can't do," said Issei as he started to walk away, jogging towards one of the exits of the cafeteria that led to the nearest path to the old school building.

"Protecting me? What does he mean?" Xenovia looked at Bikou expectantly, demanding clarification.

"You're the New Kid! Of course he's looking out for you. We can't let you wander anywhere near a fight on your first day."

"A fight?!"

"Hey don't scream that, you'll draw attention from the teachers."

"...M-My apologies…" Xenovia shrunk herself to be as small as possible. "...But… Shouldn't we go with him then? Isn't he our leader?"

"With Hyousei? Naaah," Bikou laughed. "Believe me; he's done this. A lot."

"...Even though he's little muscle in him?"

"Hahaha! Yep! You said it!" and the Monkey laughed louder, standing up and dragging the Fresh Blood along with him. "Lucky him, he doesn't need muscles to break up a fight between a bird and a dragon."

"Wh-what?!"

"Juuuust teasing ya Rookie! You really do scream like a girl don't you? Boy, is Vivi in for a treat… Imma ask our Class Rep to set up a Movie Night soon."

"Movie night?"

"Yeah. A night where we watch movies in someone's house, hitherto, Movie Night. Hopefully at Vivi's. She's got a huuuge house and a home theater. Her aunt is nice too, a sexy chocolate devil, kikikiki—"

"How long will this activity take?"

"Eh? Uhh… Probably from nine until the next morning."

"...But won't you require sleep at a certain point?"

Bikou's stare was blank as he kept leading the way, walking up the first floor stairwell. "...Wow. Man, I know you were bad but I didn't know you're this bad. We're gonna have a buttload of work to do, Xen-kun."


To be continued…


I hope you don't mind the buttload of exposition at the start.

This chapter highlights some of the cliques and their dynamics. lemmeknowwhatyouthink

If you're interested in how Lilim looks, just google 'fate semiramis'.
Yep.
That's her.

I could fucking tell there's people going 'EW NON VIRGIN GIRLS EW SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'

I try to keep my world at least sensible and believable, mate. Lilim's a succubus for a reason, and that reason isn't giving her chastity to the person she loves, because love is an overrated chemical reaction while lust is a must. It's like their duty, probably

It also highlights the difference between a half-human succubus and a full fledged one. Kiryuu is all tease but without the need to bite, while Lilim just want you to get that pants off and fill her quota for the day

Here's a question for you; assuming you're a virgin in THIS DxD WORLD would you hand it over? To someone who's been with the school's principal? Possibly the entire school staff that are male and not married? Has swallowed more sausages than the fat bastard at a hotdog eating competition?

Assuming succubus are divinely blessed to never experience a problem such as getting loose and std-free

I dare you to answer it honestly. It's an easy way to tell the average mental age of dxd fanfic readers

But since i don't want my review to turn into a qna corner filled with barely legal dudes boasting about their dreamlike scenario, I'll just say this: It matters differently to every person. And that's okay. Not everyone wants to participate in a community pussy or dick

Just a food for you double standard perception of 'she's a whore but he scored'

And as a teaser for that sweet, sweet moment of victory when Lilim falls in love with Issei once she realizes loving isn't half bad. Makes their relationship all the sweeter eh? Maybe he'll make her heart go doki doki in the future.

Yes. I know. I'm such a genius writer. Where's my award?

SO. What 'heroines' do we have here so far…

First place is Roygun frickin Belphegor, the hot teacher. She's in first place because of her date, which shall be the next chapter
Yasaka. The foxy mommy. Nothing but an early cameo
We've got Irina, the childhood friend, currently lagging behind as is tradition for all childhood friend heroines
Xenovia, the new kid, a 'i am actually a grill' character who just started the race, currently limping
Akeno and Rias, the sexy seniors, whose role hasn't been defined as of yet other than several mentions, presently sitting at the bench
Lilim, the sussy succuby, who is dead set on preying on him which is just her shooting herself on the foot, currently blasting forward on a rocket

Preeeeety standard for a harem. Nothing too insane, I don't think. Rias and Akeno haven't even appeared yet

Aight. It's 1AM over here as i am posting this story, and i gotta sleep.

I'm also gonna take a break. The whole ukraine situation is pushing me over the edge

Cya, let the pit consumes you