Author's note: Damn, editing past posts sucks hard. Do you really have to take the whole file in the Doc manager, edit it, reupload it.
Then switch the two links in the 'Manage stories' to replace the old chapter?
Have they never heard of "edit"? Really? Or I'm missing something. Possible…
Anyway, no I know why some authors don't bother with fixing small grammatical mistakes… Spending 10 minutes to fix a single "your = you're" is not an optimal use of their time.
Anyway, this chapter will have a few hints for the rest left and right. Those who know them will know. Please don't spoil the rest of the readers. Can't really stop you, but know that, in the words of the Great Douglas Adams "this will make a lot of people very angry and will be regarded as a bad move".
Oh, and while I'm here, door-stopper warning.
Chapter 17: Learning to live.
"We infiltrated the country without complications. None of us believed it could be that easy but not even Shiroi could detect anything out of place.
We spent a week looking for an opportunity to pass me for a civilian before the perfect solution was presented to us.
While doing recon, one of our scouts found a civilian farm recently burned to the ground. We immediately went investigating and found… A gruesome sight.
The earth was poisoned, crops were burned, and the bodies were left to rot without a single respect for the departed. Something you get used to see when you are at war. Crippling a country's food supply is the very basic of the basis in ninja warfare.
In the midst of the carnage, we found someone whose body-type matched mine. We searched every record we had on that poor man and a specialist analyzed and altered them to match me.
Then, the Anbu attacked me and broke every bone on my body. Standard procedures, you can't play the part of a war survivor if you are unharmed. I took it, it hurts less than when I lied to your mother.
I also noticed that our best agent took lookout duty and didn't participate. My suspicions that it was Koji was strengthened but I didn't voice it.
Then, when the deed was done, I was left on the outskirts of the closest civilian village we had scouted.
Left in my sorry state, I crawled to one house that we chose in our earlier scouting trip. A single woman was living here, a few years younger than me, who every day went to the village and did her best to help everyone that lived in this shithole.
She heard my painful approach in the middle of the night, opened her door and watched me with a look of horror.
She brought me inside and called for whatever apothecary this village had.
I was given Chakra-suppressant drugs before my earlier beat-down so my body stopped using Chakra to fix itself. My injuries had to mend like a civilian one would.
Their effects will fade out with time, but I had been taught how to completely stops the passive usage of Chakra that makes us stronger and faster."
My grandfather chuckled lightly.
"Hurt like hell, though… I passed out from the pain when she found me, but it worked. The woman took care of me, giving me her bed while she slept in the living room. I stayed here for a month, slowly recuperating at a 'civilian' pace. I couldn't move with my predicament, so she took care of that. That was extremely awkward because, badass shinobi as I was, I still had bodily needs.
During that time, she talked to me. She was called Manami and was apparently the closest thing they had to an elder. Despite being less than 40 like me and hating it very much, thank you.
I told her the story I was told to use. I was a farmer in the village that was recently destroyed, survived by sheer luck but losing all his family.
After a month, a timeframe I knew would be enough for a civilian, I was able to move again on my own. My mission began there."
I, again enthralled by his story, saw that my grandad was smiling. Was he even conscious of that?
"When I was 'recovered enough', I started to help people in the village. The only way I knew how to 'repay their kindness'. They were… Nice… All too eager to have a new pair of hands. I helped farming, I carried things, none too heavy because they had no way to know that I was completely back on my feet, and I listened to their conversations.
This village, as I soon learn, was under the control of the 'Mizushima' familly.
A clan specialized in farming and trade. They took unclaimed land, took unemployed farmers and entrusted them the land. Gave them tools, seeds and high expectations of the yield they had to give back for their 'selfless help'.
And if they failed to meet their expectations, they would take everything back, kick them out for failing to meet their standards, and would give the land to a more worthy family. 'Weirdly' always one of their own.
I struggled to understand how such a short-sighted way would be accepted until I learned that apparently, the Mizushima were a ninja clan known for their tendencies to completely eradicate everything that stood in their way and piss on the corpse.
Manami told me, one night, that the rumor suspected that my 'home' was a village that failed to produce 'acceptable' yield, tried to rebel, and was silently burned because they couldn't have that.
I couldn't say it, but it was equally possible that the village was burned by another shinobi village. Kiri, in its arrogance, had a lot of enemies.
To fight your enemies, you need an army.
To have an army, you need food.
You can't have one without the other, so destroying the source of the army is a common shinobi tactics.
One that Manami, being a civilian, had no way to know and I was perfectly okay with keeping it that way."
Gramps took a few seconds to calm the slowly bubbling anger I felt in his tone. Killing for such a reason was, apparently, a personal insult to him.
"This was the time for my first report. After dinner, I excused myself and went outside.
I went in the garden of her home and sat on the grass, facing the moon.
We chose the day where the village was destroyed as the day of my reports. It gave me an excuse. Now, let me show you again how it worked out."
Gramps looked at me in the eyes and his thoughts overwhelmed my own like before.
I was now seeing through his eyes at an expanse of land. The moon was shining, everything was peaceful.
Then 'I' sat down, and a voice came to my senses. Along with another feeling. A Friend was close.
"Hello, Friend. Do you feel alright? I was worried…"
The voice was… Warm.
"I'm alright, Friend. It's good talking to you, I missed you…"
I felt myself 'think' words I didn't know. But felt the emotions in them.
"Very well, let's begin. This land, from the few I could gather, is fucked up beyond any repair."
"You'll have to describe it a little better, Friend. I'm used to it, but I don't think that the village will appreciate the wording…"
The voice I heard in my head. Shiroi's voice, was amused.
"Apparently, the Rain country is ruled by three bodies. The Daimyo, as is only normal, the Mizukage we are fighting, but the inner working of the country is left to… Seven families. As of right now I only have information about one of them but it's… Bad. I will try to gather more information about those 'families' but right now it's too early. I think it's common knowledge around here so if I..."
"Hey, Shinji! What are you doing here?"
Manami was walking towards me. Using the fake name I was given.
I looked at her and took her appearance. She was dressed in the same nightgown I saw her wear when she went to sleep.
"It's… It's a bad day, I apologize."
"Of course, you'll notice, with who you are…"
Her voice froze me. I did everything in my power to hide it, but she was looking at me and I was too late.
"Himoki-san couldn't meet the quota. His family will be expelled tomorrow… We don't know where they will be sent..."
Manami sat besides me and looked at the moon like I was doing before her interruption.
"It never ends… People always leave… It's like our future was set in stone the moment we were born, and we have no say in it…
Hey… Do you… Can you imagine a world not like this?
A world where we are free to go anywhere? Free, like the wind?"
I very much could. It's called 'Konohagakure' and, while not perfect, there is still plenty of happiness to find there.
"I can't… Not anymore. I did, when I was a kid but not anymore… Especially now that I'm here…"
"I'm so sorry! I didn't realize it was already a month ago! I apologize, I was insensitive! I'll leave you!"
Manami was suddenly panicked and tried to put some distance between us.
"No, there's nothing to apologize for." I slowly started go get up and turned to her.
"In fact, I should thank you. You are right, this is our world, and we must move forward. We need to seize the day and maybe, in the far future, things will change."
Manami was smiling at me, happy to see me thanking her, and started walking back to her home.
"Yeah. Also, next time at least take a warmer jacket. You seem like a good person but I'm not sure our relation is already at the point where I'll have to 'take care of you' willingly. Again…"
"Hey, I said I was sorry, right? Multiple times! And thank you for the reminder!"
She was back to her caring and teasing side. I left a small chuckle escape my lips.
My report was finished anyway but I mentally connected with my friend and noticed how happy he was. He was glad that I could laugh again.
"Time flew by, and a year passed. I successfully integrated myself in the village by helping people left and right. I farmed, did the accounts of families that were too swamped in work to do it and even started teaching the younger generation.
After a few months, a team of shinobi from Kirigakure came knocking on our door. Manami was taken elsewhere to be interrogated while the rest stood in front of me.
They asked me questions about my past, my family and my actions. Standard procedure to detect a spy when the testament of two person, only one above suspicion, didn't match.
But I was expecting that to happen, so I acted scared while telling them everything that was on my mission briefing about 'me'.
The forger of my Anbu team did a good job because, after an hour, the interrogator told me that what I told them matched with every record they found in the destroyed village.
Not that I doubted him. He was friendly but weird…
Manami was allowed to come back and the relief in her face was evident. Apparently, they scared her about this 'potential infiltrator' news.
The Kiri squad left, and life resumed.
We continued to help the small village gets by and another year passed.
During this time Manami continued to help everyone in her own way. Falsifying reports, taking one stock of grain from a family that performed more than expected and giving it to one that didn't.
She told me once she suspected that some families where send there to fail.
These families weren't even taught basic farming knowledge.
According to her, they were sent here to do the groundwork and be expelled when the real work would begin. Then be replaced by a family completely under the thumb of the Mizushima, who would reap the fruit of their work.
This was her home, and she didn't want anyone to leave anymore.
She was a kind and intelligent person. Quick for a joke, serious when the situation asked her to be, she would always listen to other people problem.
But above all she was smart. Scarily so.
When our financial situation was good enough, she'll take a trip to the Daimyo city and came back with books about farming. She taught to the children in my class, who then passed the knowledge to their parents.
The Mizushima thanked us by increasing our required yield, but we produced more and more. Life became good.
One time, Manami left for a long time and came back with farming equipment. Apparently from the 'Artisan village'. They were of excellent quality and helped us tremendously. Our required tribute was upped again, because of course it would, but so was our life.
During all this time, the other villager appreciated me even more. Which gave me a lot of things to tell in my reports.
During those two years I continued to go outside on the scheduled date and contact my Friend.
Sometimes Manami went with me, when she had the time with her job, and I didn't mind. She was… Nice to be with.
My 'reports' became a way to let our shoulders down and enjoy a little bit of respite in our life.
She opened even more to me, telling me how, as a child, she was sent here with her parents.
How they died of sickness when she was 17 and, having no Chakra, she went by and helped the village in whatever capacity she could.
She also confessed to me how she didn't know how things went so bad.
How the orders from the top made less and less sense by the years.
How she feared that the previous civil war, which ended when the true shinobi war began, would only come back when things settled…
In those rare times of rest, I understood who she truly was.
When she could finally stops being everyone's pillar of strength and show me, and only me, the woman scared for the future that nobody must see.
I continued my reports when I could. She always come back home or felt asleep after a while, to leave me with my 'family'.
I told my Friend, who was annoyingly teasing me every time, about the different families.
The Mizushima: shrewd businessman who would kill everything they can't corrupt.
The Aozora: diplomats and expert infiltrators. Also suspected to control the underworld from the shadows.
The Hozuki: masters of Water jutsu, able to turn themselves into water, thus being impervious to most weapons.
The Hamasaki: taijutsu fighters and excellent killers.
The Akebino: masters of weapons. Be it swords or bow. Descendant of samurais having adapted to shinobi's life. Meaning they will politely introduce themselves to you, say how it's an honor to have been chosen as your executor and kill you while smiling.
The Sumire: a new clan. Experts in the medical-and-totally-not-poison-I-swear and source of their best Anbus.
And the worst among them, the Kishi. The bureaucrats. Officially the court recorders but also keeper of every dirty little secret everyone have. Having pushed bureaucracy to a twisted form of art, they could make someone completely disappear from history if they wished it."
While I stored all those information in my brain, might be handy later, I noticed that my grandfather's posture had straightened and that he was not looking at me anymore. He was caught in his own memories.
"It was after that report that everything changed. I just finished telling Shiroi about the Kishi when I went back to myself. Then I noticed that Manami, who was gazing at the moon with me until she felt asleep as usual, had done something different. Unlike the previous times where she just fell on the ground, she fell asleep with her head on my shoulders.
Watching at her peaceful face, deep into sleep, I couldn't deny it anymore. I did not find her 'nice to be with'. No, we had spent too much time together, talking about our hopes and dreams. I was completely and helplessly in love with her.
I took time to think about it. She was nothing like Amane, the brash and impulsive first love of my life. She was kind, smart and, for a civilian, so strong…
I thought about telling her the truth, how it would hurt her less. But I was a man on a mission. I couldn't betray the Hokage's trust, however painful it was to continue the charade.
I thought about Amane, how she'll be disappointed that I would forsake her for another woman… And realized that she'll probably kick me in the balls when I'll meet her again in heaven for staying a mental wreck after all these years.
And I thought about Tsume, my daughter, for the first time in years. About how she would have grown.
And I was shocked to imagine a face that was not Amane. Tsume would be 18 by now and, if my memories serve me right, probably engaged with the annoying shitstain she met at the academy. Hell, they might already have taken that step, you'll get it when you are older."
Nope, totally gets it, gramps. Say 'Hi' to Hana when you'll come back and please stop fucking things up while you're at it. Also don't ask about the way her name is spelled. Please.
And finally fuck you. Dad is a wonderful… No, dad is a great… No dad is an example of… WELL, IT'S DAD SO FUCK YOU KINDLY!
"I asked my Friend, in our shared mental space, if he could emasculate the fucker when he came back to report. His answer was: 'Nope. I like him'. The traitor…
But the face of the daughter I saw in my imagination was not her mother anymore. She was our daughter alright, but she was her, she was her own person. Someone who deserved to be loved for who she was.
My brain chose that moment to remind me that, years ago, she always wanted me to take her to her friend's home so that she can play. With parents that, now that I took the time to think about it, were all widows…
I felt the world rearranging in front of my eyes.
My daughter loved me.
My daughter was a young girl, who deeply loved her father and wanted him to be happy like she was.
A young child that wanted a mother.
As I finished my train of thought, my mind went back to the sleepy head on my shoulders.
I loved her; this I couldn't deny.
I swore to myself that, when the mission will be over, I'll ask her if she wanted to go back with me. She loved everyone in the village, but she had no love for the Water country. She clearly explained that to me.
So, finally listening to my heart, I put my own head above hers. My action woke her, and she didn't moved at first. I sensed the mounting sense of dread when she realized where she was, where her head was and, where mine was.
She adorably jumped in shock with the cutest and most girlish scream I've ever heard from her.
I watched her stammering on her words, asking what was going on and what was I doing, with a flushed face completely similar to a teenage girl.
I steeled my resolve; it was time to Man-up.
I confessed to her. A Manly Confession. I told her that I have been watching her all this time and felt in love gradually with her actions. That I respected her for being so strong and that I wanted to be with her. Manly. Like a teenage boy with a crush and no control over his hormones.
She returned my feelings, after she stopped laughing and rolling on the floor, and we kissed for the first time. We went back home, and I felt the tug of my ninken, finally relieved that I was back to myself. Also, he would totally tell the squad how I 'Maned-up'. Traitor…
The next day, we came to the village hand in hand. Of course, no one was surprised, and we became the unofficial mayors of the city. Before it was just Manami, but I was somehow now included.
A few months passed. I collected worrying information when a farmer friend told me the shinobi academy started to recruit orphans. That was strange, the Water country had shinobi clans and such. That meant they were now choosing quantity over quality. That called for an escalation of the war in the future.
But I didn't have the time to warn my Friend because a few days later, while Manami and I were shopping for our meal tonight we heard a rumor.
Kiri had implanted the Sanbi, a demonic Chakra beast like the nine-tailed fox, into a captured young Konoha kunoichi and planned to send her home. So that the demon inside her would break out, due to a deliberately faulty seal, and ravage the country."
Oh. Yeah, I know that part. Rin, right? Obito's crush. Alright, world turning to hell right now.
"The plan failed, the unwilling Jinchuriki was killed by her teammate before she could release it. And now Konoha put us on top of their shit-list. This was bad.
I heard the basket that Manami was holding fall to the ground and watched as she felt on her knees.
She started saying, barely above a whisper "How could they do that? What have we done?" Repeatedly, so I took her home.
There, Manami stumbled toward a chair and… Well… It's better that I show you again."
The presence of my grandfather took control of my mind again. I didn't fight against it.
I was now in the familiar house. A house that, I noted, was more decorated and 'homey' than before. They added a few paintings and on notes about their daily life duties. A house made for a family.
"THIS IS BAD!" Manami was screaming, with her head between her hands. "THIS IS REALLY BAD! WHY? WHY DID THEY THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA! WHAT HAVE WE DONE!"
"Manami wait! Why is it so bad? We are at war, remember?" I said, now in the eyes of my grandfather.
"AT WAR? AT WAR?! YOU DON'T GET IT! WAR DOESN'T HAVE RULES BUT IT HAVE THRESHOLDS YOU DON'T CROSS! NEVER! NEVER!"
Manami was now screaming at me, with eyes that told 'please understand'.
"YOU DON'T SENT A BIJUU LIKE SOME RANDOM FIREWORK AND HOPE IT BLOWS LIKE SOME RANDOM TAG! EVER! YOU DON'T DO THAT! AND WE'VE SHOWN TO THE WORLD THAT WE ARE USING THAT KIND OF TECHNIQUE! AND THAT WE MIGHT DO IT AGAIN!"
Manami's head fell on the table, her hands still holding her head.
"And why would the rest of the world believe we won't do it again…" She said in a calm but full of despair voice.
"We shown them the true face of the Water country. That we are willing to inflict that kind of weapon on our enemies… But if we are willing to do that to our enemies, why not on our allies that don't bend to us? …This country is doomed. In one single move we just made the whole world our enemy… They will attack us… Everyone… EVERYONE WILL DIE! CAN'T THEY SEE THIS!? WE WILL ALL DIE IN A WAR WE HAVE NO CHANCE TO WIN! WE GAVE THE WORLD THE EXCUSE THEY NEEDED TO KILL US ALL! WHY DID THEY THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!"
In the eyes of my grandfather, I saw myself rush at her side. Embracing her.
"NO! I won't let anything happened to you, my love! I'll Protect you!"
"What do you think you can do… Against the might of all the elemental nations…" Manami was looking at me. Tears filled her eyes.
Then I slowly withdrew and strengthened my posture.
"I am a Konoha operative. Sent here to assess if the Water country was a danger to my village. I've been lying to you from the moment you found my broken body before your door. My mission was to collect information about your country and sent them back. Then, when my mission was over, I was tasked to erase every trace of my presence. By any means necessary."
Manami's eyes changed. From sadness to fear.
"But I've changed. YOU CHANGED ME! Living with you, day by day, made me a better person. I love you! With all my heart! Please believe me! I am not lying! I will go home now; my mission has come to an end. But please come with me. I love you, Manami, and I PROMISE you that you will be safe in Konoha. Together with me like we have always been, and you'll be SAFE! I NEED YOU! I WANT YOU HERE! WITH ME! I LOVE YOU!"
I saw the woman eyes turns from fear back to love. And then she put her hands behind her back.
"And I love you, with all my heart, Inuzuka Kiba."
Her hands came from behind her back, and she put two items on the table.
A Kirigakure headband.
And an Anbu mask.
The vision stopped here, and I was back in the hospital. Kiba was still sitting on the visitor chair. I could move, a little, but not enough to get up and embrace him.
Because his posture showed that he clearly needed it.
"That's where I understood. I've been lied to, while I was lying to. Manami was an intelligence officer like me and we spent the last two years lying to each other. None of this was real.
And now we were enemies. Our Village made us enemies. This was the part where we should kill each other to report to our village, so we did the only logical thing.
We didn't talk to each other, there was nothing left to say. We both got up, walked toward each other and shared one last embrace. One last kiss. And started killing each other, like good shinobi.
Except that there was no killing intent. No party wanted the other one to die. We were just mimicking a fight between shinobi while destroying everything we created together.
A Kiri team that was probably here to supervise her arrived and we swiftly killed them.
We took a man and a woman from that team and put them in our bed. Then set the house aflame.
We then retired to a hill that gave us a great view of the village."
I was, once again, being shown the things that my grandfather saw.
"The village will think we simply died in the fire… I hope that they'll manage without us… I'll miss them, they were good people… And I'll miss you, Kiba…"
That was Manami. Looking at the burning remains of her house. She was holding my… My grandfather's hand, and she was crying.
"Yeah. I'll tell everyone back home that you were too strong, I couldn't kill you and had to ran away. I'll keep out of the records how much I will be missing you, Manami."
"I will tell everyone that you were too strong. You killed the assassination team on your own and I was forced to retreat. Those bodies in the bed were left by you so that the civilians won't suspect a thing. I'll kept out of the records how much I will be missing you, Kiba."
"Are you still sure, my love? You could have died by my hand, officially, and come back with me to Konoha…"
"No, my love. I still think my country can be saved. Sometime in the future. I want to stay here and do what I can. I'm not sure why, but I think that, soon, someone will save it. Someone that might already be born. Or someone that will soon be born. I want to stay here, in this broken country, to help that person if I can."
"I… Understand. I don't like it, but I… Understand" I said as I watched our house, one that held so many memories, slowly be reduced to ashes.
"This is goodbye, my love. Until we meet again…"
"This is goodbye, my love. Until you went full-stupid, trash yourself, and I must 'take care of you' again… This time willingly."
Kiba released his vision on my mind.
"And then we separated, I found my team and my Friend back. We went straight back to Konohagakure, they needed to hear my final report. During the time we travelled I took time to think about the future.
I had a mission report that needs to be written.
I had a lot of people that needs to be angered.
And I had a daughter that needed the biggest hug in the world.
I'll do everything. Not particularly in that order.