Damn it!
This kind of thing kept happening.
Kaname's ability to arrive some place at the absolutely worst time was remarkable if also regrettable. Sousuke literally dove for the book, doing a well-executed roll after he had it firmly in his grasp.
"What are you doing," Kaname asked, with a strangely cute look that was half sneer and half smile. "Is this some new kind of otaku practice routine? Has a diet of plain rolls and protein bars finely sent you off the deep end?" Thee Class Rep stood with her hands on hips, tappingthe toes of one foot up and down sharply. She glanced over at Sousuke's school materials spread about the ground. "Are those your assignment?" She pointed to the papers, some of which were landing on various balconies. Others had found their way up and down the street, some perched precariously at the lips of grungy and grimy storm drains.
A… firm… a… tive!" That was a mistake. He had answered far too quickly. He had also shoved the book into his bag in a manner that caught Kaname's eye.
Idiot!
"Hmmm? What's wrong, Sousuke?" Kaname began walking over to him. "Why are you here in the dark? What was that book? You didn't lie to me, did you? There isn't some assignment you were working on, that you told me you had already finished, I hope." Her eyes narrowed. She raised one eyebrow and began tapping her fingers against her skirt.
"Uhhh… well… negative… no!" Sousuke's voice came out in a near squeak. That was unacceptable for a Specialist! "I was merely reading ahead for uh… future instruction…." That was true. "I remembered how you said that was a good thing to do… and how it was one of the methods that helped you do so well." That ought to throw her off course. Praising Kaname often had her smiling and telling him how much better she was than a certain young soldier.
"And you ac… tu… ally listened?" Kaname shook her head in disbelief as she unconsciously aped her boyfriend's earlier manner of speech. "Well, even if you did, it's not as if you will ever be a smart as me. You're lucky I even hang around someone like you. I'm in danger of bringing myself down closer to your level. Hmmmpppfff!"
"Excuse me. I must retrieve my papers." Sousuke took off running. Distance and time might allow Kaname to focus on something else altogether. That would be a very favorable outcome. Also, if he did not hand in all of his homework, he would need to stay after class.
"Geeez. Big idiot!" Kaname laughed. "Wait up. I'll help. If you want, I will hold your book bag for you."
"NO!" Sousuke flinched, climbing up the ladder of a fire escape. He almost missed a rung. "It is not necessary. Thank you." His response would have her wondering again. Right now, wondering was not a good thing. "It is my responsibility. I was clumsy enough to drop the bag. It is my duty to make amends." Owning up to his mistake and taking responsibility should also win him some points with Kaname. His monthly tally was far into the negative numbers, so any positive marks would be as good as gold.
"Sheeeesh. That sounds so lame," Kaname said, waving her hand in an impatient gesture. "But, it also sounds just like you. Well, I'm not going to wait around here all day, you know. We shouldn't be late to class."
"Fine. You may start without me. I will catch up when I am through. One of us should complete the objective. Go. I will survive. I promise." Sousuke stuffed one paper into his satchel, took out a cord with a folding hook, and then tossed the tiny grappling hook higher up. Catching hold, he tugged hard, setting the prongs.
Kaname stood silently a moment, her feelings mixed. She was annoyed to the point of shouting, seeing that military maniac swing this way and that, climbing the thin cord one moment, and then sliding down somewhere else a few moments later. But, she was amazed at his strength and dexterity. He looked more like a monkey than a man at times. She smiled. Perhaps that explained his most recent test grades. No human could do that poorly, right? "Okay. Don't break your neck, stupid head. I'm not making up any excuse to the teacher for you, though. So don't even ask!" She began walking towards Jindai High School..
Sousuke continued his retrieval work, making superhuman progress. Just as he was swinging over the last balcony he needed to stop on, Kaname called up to him. She had walked back again. "You're not trying to get rid of me for some reason, are you Sousuke?"
"…" Sousuke felt his eyes widen. So set on gathering the escaped papers, he had not heard Kaname's approach. As a result, he hesitated, missing the chance to set things properly. The hook slid, bumped, and then lost purchase. The wind of his subsequent plummet kicked up the paper, which sedately made its way to the ground, swooping up this way and careening down that. He in contrast landed twenty feet down with a sodden THUMP. His bag was knocked open on impact.
The book slid out again.
"SOUSUKE!" Kaname came running over. "Sousuke, are you alright?" She watched as the loose piece of paper landed on the young mercenary's head. "I've never seen you fall before!"
"Ahhhhhhh-" Sousuke moaned as he pushed himself up. That mistake was inexcusable. He would need to spend the upcoming weekend at his practice facilities. He cringed. Kaname was bending over, intent on picking up his wayward books. Include THE book. If she opened the wrong one, he was done for. Wait. What comment might anger her, switching her attention to him. "Kurz was correct. Remarkable. Women truly are a distraction."
"What?!" Kaname clenched her fists. "Distraction? That's what I am, a distraction?" She looked at the books, and then at Sousuke. "Jerk! You can lay there and moan for all I care." After kicking one book in pique, she turned and headed off in a huff. She was overreacting. She knew that. But, it was her privilege. No, it was her right!
Unnoticed by the irate maiden, the punted tome lay open, its pages being rapidly closed by the wind, erotic art speeding by like the sequential drawings in one of those flip books.
Sousuke lay his face down on the cool concrete. That had been a close one. But, he had some reason to be content. Any landing one can walk away from is a good one. But, he had no reason to feel entirely safe or sanguine.
There would be Hell to pay later, if Kaname ended up in one of those moods.
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"I expect you all to pay attention."
The teacher looked around the room, meeting the gaze of every student in class. His eyes narrowed when he looked at Sousuke.
"Mr. Sagara, you appear much more restrained this morning. Not only that… you already have your book out and are reading ahead. Excellent. It appears that our new arrangement is working out already."
There was a low level grumbling in the class. Some one coughed, hiding the words 'brown noser' in the guttural sound.
"I am gratified that you think so, Sir." Sousuke swallowed hard. His desk was in the rear corner, away from everyone else's. Today, that forced isolation was actually working to his advantage. He was not reading Chemistry.
If anyone were to get a look at his text, there would be a commotion.
"You probably should have put his desk on the balcony. Maybe even the flagpole." Kaname's snide remark made it quite clear that she was still in a snit. "Hmmmpppfff! Siberia would be better." She added 'big jerk' under her breath.
"Really?" The teacher asked. "Mr. Sagara is minding his manners. You on the other hand have spoken rudely and out of turn." He smiled, tapping his pointer against the side of his leg. A small man, he had an inferiority complex, except when he smacked his pointer about. He was a god here. "But, that has actually served a purpose. You'll be my helper today."
H-H-Huhhhh-hhh-hh-h…."Kaname spared Sousuke an angry glance. This was his fault. And what was that big idiot doing, pouring over his book like that. Wait a minute. Book? Sousuke actually studying a book? Just what was going on?
"I will ask you some questions. If you answer correctly, it will reinforce the things that you and the others should have read. If you answer wrong, my correcting you will serve the same purpose." The teacher leaned against his desk. "So Miss Chidori, what is an acid?" He suddenly grinned, a gleam in his eye. "Right answer, no homework tonight." He paused, hoping the class would get its communal hopes up. "Wrong answer, pop quiz tomorrow."
"An acid is-" Kaname searched her memory. She had just read that last night. It was simple. "-A substance which-"
"An acid is a substance that when added to water produces hydrogen ions." The teacher jumped in before Kaname could complete her sentence. "I would have thought that someone who was a Class Representative would want to set a better example for her classmates. Tsk tsk tsk."
Kaname clenched her fists, but kept her mouth shut. This was Sousuke's fault. Oooooh!
"OK. Let's try again. A Student Council Vice President will no doubt know this one. What is a base?" The teacher smacked his pointer against a desk. One girl jerked in her seat. "I do not mean those things you run around in softball, when you should be spending your time studying."
"A base is a substance-" Kaname tried to rush her answer in, to no avail.
"A base is a substance which when added to water produces hydroxide ions," the teacher said. "You may want to write that down." That remark had a number of students snickering, before they realized just what was at stake. A good number of the teenagers thought of Kaname as an Idol. The teacher smiled and folded his arms across his chest.
"At least some big idiot didn't mention military bases!" Kaname said crossly. She put her hand over her mouth. She had blurted that out verbally, not merely in thought. Seeing the teacher scowl, and then scribble something down in his lesson book, she turned back and stared at Sousuke. No doubt the teacher was going to give her extra homework. That otaku numbskull wasn't even watching her closely like he usually did. What good was a mean glare if he wasn't paying attention.
That damn book!
Sousuke was too busy reading about chemical substances of a different sort. He swallowed hard, wondering just how much of this would prove useful. He could read this here without feeling too uncomfortable. There was no way he could turn to those other pages again, not with Kaname in his field of vision.
KARMA SUTRA: LOVE POTIONS
The ways of enlarging the lingam must be now related.
When a man wishes to enlarge his lingam, he should rub it with the bristles of certain insects that live in trees, and then, after rubbing it for ten nights with oils, he should again rub it with the bristles as before. By continuing to do this a swelling will be gradually produced in the lingam, and he should then lie on a cot, and cause his lingam to hang down through a hole in the cot. After this he should take away all the pain from the swelling by using cool concoctions. The swelling, which is called 'Suka', and is often brought about among the people of the Dravida country, lasts for life.
"Uhhh." The young mercenary closed his mouth quickly. Luckily no one was paying attention to him at the moment, not even Kaname. She was busy helping the class again by answering questions. It was amazing how generous a person she was.
"Hmmm-mm-m." He did not think that any pharmacies in Tokyo would carry insect bristles. That was alright. He was not about to utilize any of these methods. He was not like the crew members aboard De Danaan who would spend inordinate amount of monies o things they saw in magazine ads or infomercials. He also was not going to cut a hole in his cot. It was Mithril issue.
If the lingam is rubbed with the following things, the plant physalis flexuosa, the shavara-kandaka plant, the jalasuka plant, the fruit of the egg plant, the butter of a she buffalo, the hastri-charma plant, and the juice of the vajrarasa plant, a swelling lasting for one month will be produced.
By rubbing it with oil boiled in the concoctions of the above things, the same effect will be produced, but lasting for six months.
The enlargement of the lingam is also effected by rubbing it or moistening it with oil boiled on a moderate fire along with the seeds of the pomegranate, and the cucumber, the juices of the valuka plant, the hastri-charma plant, and the eggplant.
No.
None of that was necessary.
It was just as well. He was not much of a cook. Melissa said that he could probably burn water. That was an exaggeration. He was certain of it. He could only imagine what might happen if he asked Kaname to cook him up oil boiled with pomegranate, cucumber, eggplant, and Indian herbs. His hand twitched. He could imagine her response if he told her the reason why. Perhaps if he said it was a science experiment.
No!
Absolutely not. This was not necessary.
The miscellaneous experiments and recipes (love potions) are as follows:
If a man mixes the powder of the milk hedge plant, and the Kantaka plant with the excrement of a monkey and the powdered root of the lanjalika plant, and throws this mixture on a woman, she will not love anybody else afterwards.
That sounded like black magic or wishful thinking. It did not matter. If he threw anything on Kaname, she would throw him out a window. Also, with his luck, he would probably hit Mizuki. No. It could be worse. What if he hit Tsubaki Issei. After that one encounter, Kaname momentarily thought that he and the Karate Club leader were gay, when it was actually Mizuki who like the martial artist.
If a man thickens the juice of the fruits of the cassia fistula, and the eugenia jambolana by mixing them with the powder of the soma plant, the vernonia anthelmintica, the eclipta prostata, and the lohopa-jihirka, and applies this composition to the yoni of a woman, and then has sexual intercourse with her, his love for her will be destroyed.
The same effect is produced if a man has connection with a woman who has bathed in the buttermilk of a she-buffalo mixed with the powders of the gopalika plant, the banu-padika plant and the yellow amaranth.
Those were a bit drastic.
But, it was an issue to consider tangentially. A man could fall in love with a woman who might not care about him. Or vice versa. That sounded very unfortunate. Likewise, a person might change his or her feelings. That might be regrettable for the other person. It was difficult enough getting through all this, assuming that things would work out well. Did he really wish to put himself at risk?
If his newfound feelings meant what he thought they did, the answer would most likely be 'yes'.
"Alright Miss Chidori, a chance to redeem yourself in front of your classmates. What color with acid turn litmus?" The teacher raised one eyebrow.
"Red," Kaname answered.
"That is correct." The teacher looked around the room. "Who gave her the answer? Was it you, Miss Tokiwa? Did you point to the red ribbon on your hair without me catching you?" Knowing the girl had done no such thing, he grinned when he saw Kyouko sit up quickly, a shocked look on her face. "Well… let's answer this one on your own, Miss Chidori. How do acids taste?"
"Sour," Kaname said, with a slight shake of her head.
"Also correct," the teacher replied. "But, as one who should look out for the welfare of her fellow students, you should have prefaced things by saying 'DO NOT TASTE ACIDS IN THE LABORATORY!'" He fought a smile. "One demerit."
"I-" Kaname looked incredulous. This joker was really getting on her case, but there was absolutely nothing that she could do. To him.
Sousuke was a different story.
"No, too late," the teacher waggled one index finger. "I have already taken that responsible tack for you. Let's speed things up a bit. You seem to be slowing the class down." He smacked his pointer down again, knocking away a doodle a boy was sketching. "How do bases feel? What color do they turn litmus? How do they taste? You are taking so long to reply… must I speak slower…."
"Soapy or slippery… blue… sour…." Kaname spoke quickly. "And no one should taste them in the laboratory!"
"No need to answer so quickly." The teacher took out a thing of Chapstick and applied dome to his lips. "There is no need to show off for the others. That kind of things does not impress me." He laced his fingers together and cracked his knuckles. "No one here is foolish enough to taste dangerous chemicals, I hope." He looked at the back of the room. "Mr. Sagara, is Miss Chidori foolish enough to do something like that?"
Sousuke didn't answer. He was too busy reading. His usually sharp senses had been nullified fully for the first time in a long while.
An ointment made of the fruit of the asteracantha longifolia (kokilaksha) will contract the yoni of a Hastini or Elephant woman, and this contraction lasts for one night.
An ointment made by pounding the roots of the nelumbrium speciosum, and of the blue lotus, and the powder of the plant physalis flexuosa mixed with ghee and honey, will enlarge the yoni of the Mrigi or Deer woman.
"Ummm…errr…." Sousuke bit on the side of his cheek. He must be quiet in class! He was still having troubles with the concept of a yomi, much less the notion of one contracting or enlarging. He would not even think of it in its Japanese or English name at this point.
And those illustrations!
"It seems that Mr. Sagara is too polite to answer," the teacher said. A number of students chuckled
Kaname felt her face tightening up.
"No matter," the teacher continued. "Miss Chidori, I would like you to take this chalk… walk over to the blackboard… and write the rather simplistic equation for water dissociation."
Kaname did as she was instructed, writing 'H20 (liquid) goes to H+ (aqueous) and H-(aqueous).'
"My my my. Even a blind hog finds a truffle sometimes," the teacher quipped. "Or a blue haired girl avoids the side effects from too much hair dye. While you are on such a favorable roll, please write down the Equilibrium Constant."
Again, Kaname did as asked, writing 'Kw equals (H+)(OH-)/(H2O).'
"Remarkable. You may make up for your earlier stumbles." The teacher clapped his hands together silently, and then nodded to the class. Everyone except Kaname's friends clapped, enjoying the whole game. They didn't believe any threat of a pop quiz to be true anymore. With nothing at stake, they were free to embrace their envy of someone brighter and more accomplished than themselves.
Kaname was adding up demerits for Sousuke.
He would be in her detention center for years if this kept up.
An ointment made of the fruit of the emblica myrabolans soaked in the milky juice of the milk hedge plant, of the soma plant, the calotropis gigantea, and the juice of the fruit of the vernonia anthelmintica, will make the hair white.
Which hair?
That thought had Sousuke breaking out into a heavier sweat. Perhaps it meant the hair on the head. However, that was not useful. He did not want to think if he told Kaname how to turn her hair white. Once he had mistakenly asked her if she could cook him Spaghetti Carbonara, as he had discovered a fondness for it. Captain Testarossa had cooked it for him. His request had not gone over well. He did not care to remember the particulars. He could picture a similar occurrence taking place if Kaname mistakenly thought that he wanted her hair to look more like the Captain's.
The juice of the roots of the madayantaka plant, the yellow amaranth, the anjanika plant, the clitoria ternateea, and the shlakshnaparin plant, used as a lotion, will make the hair grow.
That might prove useful. Melissa had threatened to shave Kurz' head any number of times. Kaname had used the same threat on him before, too.
A woman who hears a man playing on a reed pipe which has been dressed with the juices of the bahupadika plant, the tabernamontana coronaria, the costus speciosus or arabicus, the pinus deodora, the euphorbia antiquorum, the vajra and the Kantaka plant, becomes his slave.
Hmmm.
Again, wishful thinking and superstition.
If such a method were actually successful, he could sell the secret to Kurz for a year's salary or more.
That is, if the sniper's prior statements were factual. Now was not the time to remember the things that his friend had said he would do to Melissa if she was his slave. No doubt he would come across references to such things later in this book. He would need to read a book on animal husbandry or meat butchering to come across the things that a certain Chinese-American Sergeant major would do a Sergeant of German descent if she caught wind of his plans.
"Now Miss Chidori, I would like you to name the six 'strong acids', give the definition of such, and write down an example of one such reaction in water." The teacher looked at his watch. He wouldn't keep the game going much longer. There were indeed things in his lesson plan that needed to get covered today. He had some time to spare, since Mr. Sagara hadn't blown anything up… searched any new student's belongs and person… or leaped out of a window to assault the driver of a delivery van with a missing license plate.
"A strong acid completely dissociates in water, forming H+ and an anion," Kaname answered correctly. An example would be this-" She wrote 'HN03 dissociates completely in water to form H+ and N03-' and then said "The six strong acids are Hydrochloric, Sulfuric, Perchloric, Hydroiodic, Hydrobromic, and…." She froze. The last one had uncharacteristically slipped her mind. Damn! it was one of the simple ones. Wait. It started with 'N.' Yes, it was-
'Nitric,' Sousuke answered. He had come to the end of a chapter and had set the book aside. "Nitric acid. Trinitrotoluene is made by reacting toluene, a solvent, with mixed nitric and sulfuric acid. DNT can be used to produce numerous products, including ammunition and explosives." Oops. For someone who stayed quiet often enough, he had issues editing his speech at times. He blinked rapidly. That military connotation might get him in trouble with Kaname. No. He had rescued her from her momentary mental paralysis. She would be grateful, would she not?
"Correct, Mr. Sagara. Nitric acid," the teacher purred purposefully. "I fail to see how anyone could have forgotten that one." He teacher shook his head and sighed. "Your answer was very informative as well. You are a credit to your school." He looked at Kaname, leaving the the obvious comparison hanging like unexploded ordinance.
"Credit to the school," Kaname said under her breath. "Moron. I hadn't forgotten Nitric Acid. Some stupid stuck-up show-off had to butt in."
Kaname had fifty items on her 'shit list' that day.
All of them were 'Sousuke'.