Santana – 31st October 2016
One last glance in the mirror, fixing the tiara and voila my costume is perfect. I love halloween and since we're living in NY, Rachel and I hosting a party every year. I bet Heidi Klum is jealous, her partys can't compete with ours.
"I think the chance is high, that you win, you look very hot", Rachel joins me in the bathroom and scans my outfit. Every year, we buy little trophies for the best costumes.
"I think you win tonight, I love yours", I reply with a smile. Rachel and Finn dress up as Harley Quinn and the Joker. Two weeks ago, when we had dinner together, they told me about their first date. They watched Suicide Squad that's why the partner costume. My first impression of Finn was great. I already knew how he looks and I think he is a perfect match for Rachel. They have a lot in common, it just works for them. I'm really happy for my best friend.
"Are you sad Sam isn't coming?"
"No, I know it for a few days now. He's got a lot of work to do, I'm not mad."
I don't like lying to Rach, but as long as Sam is uncomfortable I cover him.
"How long will you let him do this to you? He's barely availlable for you, everything is more important", Rachel shows how upset she is.
"Can I do what I want with my relationship? I'm okay with it, Sam and I talked about it."
I don't want Rach end up hating Sam. He's a good guy…the best guy I've ever had and he deserves to be treated fairly.
"Alright, I don't want to fight with you", she raises her hands up in defense mode and starts walking out of the bathroom, but not without shouting "Well now you can flirt with Britt again".
"We are not flirting!", I yell back, because she already closed the door. The evening we met Finn, Brittany and I were playful, but there is a difference between flirting and making jokes.
It doesn't take long for the first guests to arrive. I take a moment for myself and go downstairs, so I can smoke a cigarette. After years it's still a bad habit, but sometimes I just need one.
"Rachel will give you an hour-long slideshow about how smoking will kill you, if she sees you", Britt makes her appearance, two plates full of cupcakes in her hands.
"You don't need to tell her", I grin, drag on my cigarette, and scan her outfit, as much as I can see through her jacket. I know she dresses up as Kim Possible, she already told us, but I haven't thought she would look so hot in it. This makes me speechless for a few seconds. I can see her abs because she wears a black crop top. Brittany was always sporty, and her muscles are definitely a turn-on for me.
"What do I get out of this?"
"You can have one, too?", I offer her a cigarette, but she shakes her head with a laugh.
"So we're both screwed? Oh no, I'm not in the mood for a presentation, about how I destroy my lungs."
This isn't a joke. When we had our exams, Britt and I were so nervous, we tried to calm down with a cigarette or two. We aren't proud of it, but it worked. When Rach saw us smoking, she started an intervention and enlightened us about the risks and dangers of smoking.
"I can ask nicely, if you keep it a secret", I bat my eyelashes and she rolls her eyes with a chuckle.
"Alright, I'll keep it a secret."
Satisfied I grab a cupcake and take a bite.
"Eehhm, you should be careful with this", she warns me after I took a giant bite.
"Why? It tastes awesome."
"Eventually I added something special."
"Rachels idea?", I ask, and she nods.
Nicotine is the devil but weed is okay?
"Please have an eye on me, will you? I don't want to embarrass myself again."
/
Brittany – 24th December 2011
"Yes mom, I hurry up, I just want to bring them their gifts", I roll my eyes and take the car keys. Actually, I'm grounded, because I sneaked out last weekend to meet with Santana and got caught. That's why we haven't seen each other since last week. I told my mom the truth, I want to give them their presents, and maybe have 10 minutes with Santana, because the next time we'll see each other will be New Years Eve.
Now I'm on my way to Rachels house because a Christmas party is there. Rach takes the opportunity to celebrate big parties as soon as her dads leave her alone. Mostly parties are either at Rachel's or Santana's because they have normal parents, unlike mine. Sometimes I ask myself how I managed to be friends with the most popular girls in school, but I think we are just a good mix.
Not even 20 minutes later I park in front of the house and take the spare key under one of the flowerpots in the front yard. As soon as I'm in the house I hear loud music blasting through the house. I put down Rachel's present on the dresser and cross my fingers that no one will destroy it or eat it.
As I walk closer to the living room, I see my girlfriend without a shirt, dancing on the table while the whole football team around her cheer like crazy. I greet some classmates they cross my way as I spot Rachel.
I fight my way through all this people until I reach my best friend.
"Thank god you're here", she wraps an arm around my shoulder, "You need to get S down there, she pushes me away, I have no chance."
"What is she doing up there?"
"It is possible that I organized some weed, and she doesn't take it as good as I", Rachels look is full of guilt.
Note to myself: Don't let them have a party alone.
"Grab her clothes, I take her away. Meeting in the guest bathroom", I arrange us before I start my mission and sneak up behind Santana. I'm stronger than her, so I just wrap my arms around her and lift her down from the table. The guys start to boo when I drag her across the room.
After two attempts to escape and insults she throws around, I finally can carry her.
When we reach our destination, I see Rachel with my girlfriend's top and sweater.
"Put your clothes on", are my first words as I let her down. Completely shocked she turns around, realizes who she insulted and wanted to punch.
"Baby, what are you doing here?", her voice gets calm and soft.
"I take you home."
"What? But I have so much fun, just stay here."
"Everyone else had fun, too, watching you dance half naked and filming it. Put your clothes on and then I drive you home", I take the clothes from Rachel and give them Santana.
"I like your bossy mode", she whispers in my ear and presses a quick kiss to my cheek.
"We wait outside, I need to give Rachel her gift", we leave my stoned girlfriend alone.
"Are you mad at her?"
"No, I think it's hilarious. But I need to stay serious, otherwise she tries to convince me to stay here."
I knew what I got myself into with Santana. She's loud, and outgoing and sometimes she exaggerates. I don't want to change anything about her, I'm crazy for her because all of this and more.
While Santana is in the bathroom, I grab the gift I put on the dresser earlier and give it to Rachel. I baked for her. A chocolate cake in a shape of an Oscar. It took me like a hundred tutorials and time but seeing Rachels face right now was totally worth it.
"I don't want to eat it, it's too cute, thank you", she hugs me tightly. My gift is nothing compared to hers. I don't know how she did that, but Santana and I had a whole cinema hall just for the two of us, thanks to Rachel. So we didn't need to be scared, that someone sees us.
Rachel still watches her present when Santana joins as. Immediately I'm back in the serious mode.
"This is not the right way to put on a sweater", I say and pull on the label I can see.
"I barely got it on, please don't be mad", she really thinks I'm mad.
"Do you have a jacket? My air conditioner still doesn't work", I ask and she shakes her head. I take mine off and wrap it around her. I like it when she wears my clothes.
We say our goodbyes to Rachel and leave her house.
"Are you mad that I had fun without you?"
A stoned Santana is funnier than a drunk one. When she's drunk, she's totally clingy but when she's high, she looks like a sad puppet, who upset his owner.
"I'm not mad. You are adorable and know reach into the left jacket pocket, your gift is inside", I start driving so I don't see her reaction, when she opens it.
When I hear her sniffling, I dare to look to my right. With tears in her eyes and a pout on her lips she looks at the ring.
"You love rings, but you lose them like every week. So I brought a fitting ribbon so you can where it as a necklace. If someone asks, you brought it yourself, I mean everyone knows about your obsession with jewelry", I'll explain the gift.
As soon as we need to wait at a red light, she bends over the center console and pulls me into a heated kiss.
"I'm sorry I showed myself half-naked to everyone."
"It's alright, babe. You need to live with the fact, that the whole school will have a video of you."
/
Santana – 31st October 2016
"I still think it's super funny", she smirks, and I shot her a glare.
"You like it when I embarrass myself, I know."
"I get protective when it comes to you, I like that. But don't worry, I look after you. It's kind of my job since we know each other", Brittany winks at me and walks to the door. But then she turns around again.
"By the way, you are the sexiest Wonder Woman I've ever seen."
With this statement she leaves me alone. Is she high or why did she say this?
Are we really flirting with each other?
/
I'm going crazy. I don't know if it's the booze or the weed, but every glance lights up a fire in me. As she promised, Brittany doesn't let me go out of sight and I watch her like all the time.
Off course I talk to other people, but in the end, she gets my attention. This doesn't go unnoticed by Rachel who joins my side.
"How long will you rip her clothes off with your eyes?"
"You shouldn't drink so much, your perception seems impaired", I deny her words.
"I know these looks back from high school, your eye-fucking never was and never will be oblivious. I know what's going on inside your head", she taps my forehead and I roll my eyes, "What is stopping you? And don't tell me it's Sam, because obviously something else is more important than you."
"We have a restart…as friends. Should we throw this away?"
I haven't forgot it, but I try to forgive her.
"Do you really think you can be just friends? We had this topic so many times. Two people, who clearly love each other after all this time can't be just friends. I think you know this."
"And what do you suggest? I drag her into my room and have my way with her?", my voice full of sarcasm, but I see Rachels face, she really thinks this is a good idea.
"Forget it. I know, in your dreams, we're sitting with you and probably Finn on a porch, watching our children playing in the garden, but that's not real life. There is now way back for Britt and me, you know that, she knows it and I know it, too."
"You really think if you say this every time, you will believe it someday, right? What belongs together, will be together, sooner or later. Call me corny or naïve, but you'll see, I'll be right."
With these words she pushes her glass against mine and rejoins the crowd of people. However, I take a glass of water and a cupcake and disappear in my room. I need a few minutes for myself. I know that I can't handle the mix between alcohol and weed, that's why I drank water for the last 20 minutes and I think I will keep it that way. Nevertheless, I will enjoy another one of these cupcakes.
If I would be as talented as Britt, I would weigh 160 pounds more, because I would eat anything I baked.
I take a bite from the cupcake and a sip from the water before I place both things on my nightstand and lie down on my back. Everything spins a little, but it's okay. About 10 minutes later, someone knocks on my door and then I see blonde hair.
"Hey, I just wanted to check on you", she comes in, closes the door behind her.
"Everything is great, I'm just tipsy and a little bit high", I give her a thumbs up and she shakes her head with a grin.
"Good news, can I?", she points to my bed.
"Does your back hurt again, granny?", I tease her. I love this bickering between us, I really missed it.
"I'm almost half a year older than you. This time on earth left their scars on me and now make some space for me", she pushes me a little bit to the left and lies down next to me. For a short time, there is silence between us, the good kind.
Then she turns her body and face towards me, and I do the same. We look at each other and automatically I start to smile.
"I love this dimple" she runs her index finger along it, and I get this warm feeling inside me.
"Why?", I want to know and now she begins to smile, too.
"Well, you have different kinds of a smile. One is your false smile when the corners of your mouth don't really turn up. Another one is the one, when you pull yourself together and show no dimples. The third one is when you are about to laugh your ass off and show all your dimples…and then there is mine. Every time you smiled at me, then only this dimple shows. It's the first time since I'm back that I see it, so yeah, it's mine", she explains, and I start to get lost in her blue eyes. I know, I will regret it, but the desire to kiss her is too big, to not go after it.
Brittany avoids my plan because she starts talking again.
"Hm?", I ask confused because I didn't hear a word, just saw her lips moving.
"Your boobs vibrate", she points to my cleavage and finally I get it and pull my smartphone out. You need to get creative if you don't have pockets on your costume.
"Sam. Can you give me a minute?"
"Of course, I'll wait with a round of Tequila in the kitchen for you", she gets up and leaves my room, so I can answer the call.
"Thank God, you saved me from doing really dumb thing."
"Always at your service, what did you want to do?"
"I almost kissed Britt."
"Oh, would that really be dumb?"
I don't need to see him; I know he grins like an idiot right now.
"You start to sound like Rachel, maybe you two can be best friends now", I roll my eyes, "Tell me why you called, is everything okay?"
"Everything is fine, I just want to tell you, that I love you and I'm thankful for you and everything you did for me."
"No problem, but this is not a goodbye call, right? You scare me a little bit."
"What? Oh god, no!", he starts laughing, "I'm just outside now, getting some fresh air and I thought about you and that I wouldn't be here without you, you're my biggest supporter."
"I'm happy that you're happy. If you ever need advice, or just want to talk, I'm always there for you Sam."
"Me too, so I'm giving you some advice now. Just let it happen, S, maybe this thing with Brittany is exactly what you need."
"Are you talking about yourself? You've been successful?"
Sam is in a gay club tonight. At first, he was unsure if this is really a good idea, but it turns out, yeah it is.
"I'll tell you all about it in person, but now I go in and you have fun, okay?"
"You too, I love you, Sam."
"I love you too, Santana", he ends the call. I sit up, take another bite from the cupcake, and finish the glass of water before I get up and walk into the kitchen, where Brittany in fact waits for me.
"Where is the tequila?"
"Right here, boss. We just need salt, I already cut the lemons", she puts everything on the kitchen island, and I grab the salt. After the tequila is in the glasses, we can start.
We sprinkle some salt on the back of our hands, licking it, drink the shot and bite the lemon.
"Another one?", the blonde holds the bottle in her hands and as soon as I nod, she fills the glasses again.
I push her orange wig aside, so her neck is exposed. Then I moisturize my fingers, trail a little path down her neck, so the salt will stick on it.
"Oh, we're doing it like this now?", she chuckles, but stays still.
"You can choose a spot on me, too, if you want."
Shortly afterwards, salt sticks to my cheek. But not for too long, because Brittany licks it off. I do the same with her neck, we toast our glasses together and take the shot before we bite into the lemon again.
The next time she doesn't even ask, just pours some booze in the glasses, while I prepare the other side of her neck for the next shot. As soon as the salt is on her skin, I start licking, stay with my lips on her neck for a few more seconds, just enjoying the feeling of her.
"Tequila", she sighs, reluctantly I pull my lips away and drink the shot before I bite the lemon. After that our eyes meet and immediately I get hot. I know this sultry look, and when her eyes wander to my mouth, I bite my lip.
"Come with me", I take her hand and lead her to my bedroom, shut the door behind her, before I press Britt against it.
"This is not a good idea, San", she pushes me away a little bit, when I try to come closer.
"Why not?"
If I had done this on my birthday a few months ago, I bet she wouldn't say this.
"You have a boyfriend; you're drunk and high. You will regret this, and I won't take advantage of you."
"Sam and I aren't together anymore; I can do what I want, and I want you."
You can't deny our attraction. We are like two magnets, can't get away from each other.
"So you are single for 10 minutes or what?"
"It doesn't matter", I try again kissing her, but she stops me.
"I won't take advantage, San. You will regret it, tomorrow and then I won't see this dimple ever again", she runs the tip of her finger along it. I haven't realized that I smile like this again.
"You're probably right", I give in with a sigh.
"I'm not turning you down, honey. I just want to make everything right, after I made so many mistakes."
"Okay", is everything I can say. It's true, maybe I would regret it.
"But is it true? You and Sam aren't a couple anymore?"
"Yeah, we decided to end things a while ago", I confirm and lay down on my bed.
"Why?", she joins me on the bed, again we are face to face.
"Because he discovered his interest in men. It was the right thing to separate. Nobody knows about it, because he's not outed, yet."
"You seem to have quite an effect on people, so they question their sexuality."
"You questioned yours?"
"I do it for a long time now."
"And what is your result?"
"Still no result. I think you are my only exception. Normally I'm into me, but obviously I'm totally into you."
"And other women aren't interesting for you?"
"Right now, even men aren't interesting for me. I only have eyes for you Santana, no matter how much I try to resist."
"And what about Quinn?"
"Why do you always bring her up?", she asks amused.
"She's gay, you spend a lot of time together and I have to admit, you look cute together."
"We are friends. Maybe she is into me, I don't know, but I don't feel anything for her. I just like you more than in a friendly way."
These words push my ego and let my heart beat faster. For a moment I forget everything and close the distance between us, kiss her deeply. Immediately there is this familiar feeling, I know from the past. I can't enjoy it because Brittany pushes me away.
"You will regret this", she says quietly. I think it's her favorite line, she told me this so often tonight.
How can I regret something, that felt so amazing?