IN A CONTROL ROOM

Edgeworth and John Phoenix were in front of a control panel.

"Thanks for coming to observe this new experiment where chimps are sent to the moon with nothing but the Ten Commandments, John Phoenix. This will experiment will allow us to monitor how a legal system develops in a controlled environment."

"But won't the two chimps have to be incestrous and pedophiliac chimps in order to continue the species?" asked John Phoenix wisely with observation.

Edgeworth gave him a sad, somber look. "That's the price we must pay to further our legal knowledge."

"No!" said Dr. Lawscience angrily, stepping forward. "Sending chimps to space is bad!"

"No it's not," said Edgeworth. "You are simply a small-minded fool unwilling to take the next step in legal" he got bored and didn't finish his sentence.

Suddenly they saw something on the monitor. Edgeworth touched the monitor.

'Oh look, the chimp is approaching the banana. Ha ha, funny."

John Phoenix was alarmed. "That's not a chimp! That's my Uncle Phoenix!"

Phoenix scratched himself and looks around, unaware of the cameras.

"Oh my god!" a scientist slammed his keyboard "He must have wandered into the banana room somehow!"

Edgeworth pressed a button and leaned into a mic. "Wright!" Wright looked around, confused. "Put down that banana at once! It's the launch sequence activation banana! If you unpeel it, the rocket will take off!"

He did it anyway. The room on the camera started to shake and Phoenix fell over and started crying. The boy and girl chimp cowered in each other's arms.

Edgeworth donned his spacesuit. So did John Phoenix. They had to stop Phoenix Wright from going to moon and ruining everything!

But when they go into the room it BLASTS OFF and they all got sent to space!

ON THE MOON

The ship crashed on the surface. Thankfully John Phoenix put his uncle in a spacesuit while they were on the ship so he didn't die.

"Wright, you've ruined my experiments once again!" Edgeworth kicked moon rocks. "Damn you!"

"Geez, sorry."

"Ugh nevermind. At least my chimps survived. Let's just set up camp. The moon is cold or something."

So they set up camp and threw logs into the fire.

Then a shadowy figure approached the camps. They lifted their space rifles.

"No, don't! I'm just a space hermit!"

Edgeworth lowered his gun. "Oh, what are you doing here? I thought the moon was deserted."

"I was marooned here a long time ago. Let me show you around."

"Okay," said Edgeworth. He gave him the slab with the Ten Commandments on it to carry. "Carry this because I don't want to."

So they followed the space hermit around and learned about the moon.

"Look, it's a cave," said Uncle Phoenix.

"That's the time cave," explained the dirty grimy hermit with sexual diseases and dementia and leprosy. Oh, and he's a pedophile. "If you go in there 100,000 years will pass but only on the moon."

"Hmm seems logical," said Edgeworth. "Let's go in there and see what happens to chimp society in the distant future."

He took the Ten Commandments back from the hermit and threw it at at the chimps. "Fuck or else"

So everyone except the chimps went into the cave

"This cave is cool," said Uncle Phoenix looking at a piece of dust.

"No it's not," said John Phoenix. "Are you stupid?"

"No" said Uncle Phoenix "Okay, yes."

Edgeworth looked out the cave entrance and watched time go by in a flash, chimp pyramids and skyscrapers being built up and torn down, wars and genocides among the various chimp tribes, the deaths of nations.

His heart filled with emotions. So much beauty, so much death. And all for what?

"It's a good thing we're doing this worthless animals instead of humans," remarked Edgeworth. "Oh look it's stopped."

They went back outside.

OUTSIDE

The first thing they saw were streets of gold and golden Greek temples and a giant dome over the moon.

"Fascinating," said Edgeworth. He pointed with his cane. "Look, the dome lets the chimps breathe without suits. Let's take ours off." They did so.

Meanwhile the chimpizans got scared and hid because no one had seen a human in 10,000 years.

"But the question is, how is their legal system coming along..." Edgeworth murmured.

His shoe bumped into something.

"Hmmm what's this?"

It's a dead chimp stabbed through the chest with an item of some sort (pay attention, this is a clue)

Anyway the chimp police saw him and Edgeworth got arrested for murder and taken to jail.

CHIMP PRISON

"John Phoenix, you must represent me in Chimp Court!" ordered Dr. Edgeworth.

"Okay," said John Phoenix.

CHIMP COURT

"OOOK OOOK EEEEH" screamed the judge. The chimps in the gallery threw bananas at Edgeworth.

"This should be easy," said John Phoenix. "I'll just use evidence and logic to win a fair trial."

But nothing happened?

"What?" said John Phoenix in shock. "Why aren't I winning a fair trial? This is not fair!"

"OOOKJECTION!" screamed the prosecutor.

"OOOK OOOK EEEE" said the judge. He tapped the Ten Commandments mounted on the wall over his desk. But something was wrong!

"What the?" said John Phoenix. "There are ELEVEN commandments!"

The Eleventh Commandment said that all trials must be unfair.

"What!" said Edgeworth really angry. "But that goes against all the precepts of our justice system!"

"It's also a contradiction," said John Phoenix. "TAKE THAT"

He presented the bible. There were only supposed to be Ten Commandments!

"See, there's only ten. Someone must have added one."

"But who would do something like that?" asked Phoenix Wright.

Just then the space hermit took the stand!

"I believe I can answer that."

TESTIMONY

"I don't know but it wasn't me."

"UHBJECYITON" screamed John Phoenix.

"What"

"It is you actually"

Turnabout music starts playing

"FUCK NO SHIT" said the hermit. "I mean, no it wasn't..."

"Yes, you did, and I have proof!"

"No you don't."

"Yes I do. The proof is that you were the only one who had an opportunity to alter the slab before Edgeworth threw it to the chimps. After all, you were the one who was carrying it!"

Close-up of John Phoenix's face.

"YOU ADDED THE ELEVENTH COMMANDMENT TO RUIN CHIMP SOCIETY!"

The hermit ripped off his mask. It was Dr. Lawscience! "Yes, it's true! I followed you to the moon with a jetpack! I was a lawyer once, but then I wasn't, and then I was a spaceman. I did this to get revenge on the legal system."

Edgeworth glared at him and rattled his chains. "I should have known! Dr. Lawscience was disbarred for doing bad things. Now he's doing bad things again!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Dr. Lawscience. "Oh, I most certainly am! And now, in this chimp law hell that I created, you, Miles Edgeworth, my most hated enemy, will be the victim of an unfair legal system, just as I was!" He clapped his hands. "Oh ho ho ho! That's what you get for killing a defenseless chimp!"

"OBJECTION!" cried John Phoenix. "NO! You're the true killer! TAKE THAT!"

He presented the murder weapon!

"You were very slick, Dr. Lawscience, but you forgot not to write your name on the murder weapon and also noy put your fingerprints on it."

chimps screech in gallery

judge chimp hit hammer

"Hahahaha this means nothing," said Dr. Lawscience, pulling at his tie (his sprite is a Damon Gant edit by the way). "Edgeworth is still guilty of killing the chimp, because I say so."

"OOOK OOOK EEEE" nodded the judge sagely.

"OBJECTION" shouted John Phoenix. "But you don't have any evidence or fingerprints or proof!"

"So, you don't need that, the Eleventh Commandment says that trials can be unfair. Ahahaha. That was my insurance policy."

(Damn, he's right) thought John Phoenix. (How can I win when the entire legal system is corrupt?!) But then suddenly the screen turned black and Storm Sente flashed on screen (he's not dead or anything but since this story is about John Phoenix and not Phoenix Wright I had to use someone besides Mia)

(Don't give up, John Phoenix! Try to find a way to turn things around!)

(Storm...) thought John Phoenix. (He's right! Wait, I know how to stop Dr. Lawscience, I have to use the Eleventh Commandment against him!)

"Nice parentheses, dumbass," laughed Dr. Lawscience. "What were you saying, something stupid? HA!"

"No," said John Phoenix. He threw the murder weapon out the window!

"Ha! You'd throw away your only piece of evidence? W-wait, why are you smiling?"

"Because you're forgetting something. Now that I don't have any proof you did it, that means you're also guilty because of the unfair trial law."

"AHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed Dr. Lawscience and he ripped his mask off. "FINE I ADMIT IT I KILLED THE CHIMP"

All the chimps jumped out of the gallery and started eating his flesh. John Phoenix grabbed one out of the air and used it to bite open Edgeworth's shackles.

"Come on, he have to get out of here," said John Phoenix. "The chimps have lost all faith in their legal system, they'll kill us next."

So John Phoenix and Edgeworth and Uncle Wright ran really really fast out of the courthouse. A tidal wave of chimps came spilling out of the doors and windows and chased them all over the moon!

"OOOOK OOOOOOK EEEEEH"

"Huff huff, we're doomed," said Phoenix Wright in despair.

But then

"HELP IS ON THE WAY!"

A rescue helicopter from Earth crashed through the dome and lowered a rope.

"Ah, detective, glad you could make it!" said Edgeworth, smacking a chimp off his shoulder.

"No time to chat, pal, grab on!"

They all climbed up the rope and into the helicopter! They put their suits back on and flew out of the dome. The chimps shrieked and shook their fists at them.

ON HELICOPTER

The sad music from the end of Jurassic Park plays. Edgeworth looked out the window at his failed experiment sadly. He folded his hands on top of his cane and rested his chin on them. The helicopter fired a barrage of lasers at the surface of the moon.

"All chimp life on the moon wiped out, sir."

"Thank you, detective," Edgeworth said sadly.

John Phoenix pulled the blanket higher over his sleeping uncle and then went over to comfort Edgeworth. The experiment wasn't a failure because it taught them an important lesson.

"We learned what a fragile thing faith in our justice system is. It only takes one bad commandment or a bad actor like Dr. Lawscience to turn everyone to ruin everything. Moving forward, we can use the lessons we learned on the moon so as not to repeat the mistakes of chimp moon society."

"Hmph, you're right," smiled Edgeworth. "You're right..."

And he turned his head to look out the window at Earth... and to a brighter future.

THE END