Chapter Two: Monologues in Wave

Naruto stroked the ninja cat that was purring in his hands. Tora was probably a pain in the ass to catch, if the scratches lacing Sakura's arms were anything to note.

Sasuke didn't even do anything and Kakashi was reading porn. Even in this timeline Naruto's perverted godfather wrote porn!

Finally, they entered the mission room, where Sakura began to yell about how they had been doing nothing but D-ranks since they became a team.

"Hey, that's not true," Naruto interjected. "You've been trying and failing to get a date out of Sasuke. That's been taking quite some time."

Naruto carelessly avoided the incredibly poor taijutsu attacks Sakura launched at him. Why was she angry at him? He was telling the truth!

After some huffing and puffing, Sakura demanded that they get a C-rank. Sasuke quietly agreed and Naruto just shrugged. Why wouldn't he shrug? It wasn't like he gave a damn what mission he would get.

Then the old drunk came out and made some crack about Sakura's expression. Naruto recognized the man as Tazuna, but he was confused as to why the man was in Konoha. They weren't hiring him for any construction projects. At least, none that were explicitly noticeable.

Anyway, their new mission became an escort to the Land of Waves. Oh boy, escort missions. What a way to prove your shinobi-ness.

They all met at the gate and left. Naruto picked up the subtle nuances from the carpenter that revealed nervousness.

Then the puddle showed up. On a hot, sunny day. They had passed the river some time ago, too...

Well, it was a good psychological throw-off. Naruto could give the two Kiri-nin that.

They all walked forward and the enemy ninja popped up with these claws and chains that were probably poisoned. Kakashi got torn apart, Sakura screamed, Sasuke leapt into action.

Naruto observed. He elevated Sasuke's skill level. The last remaining loyal Uchiha was obviously much more skilled than he let on. The academy must have sucked for his level.

Then one of the Kiri ninja attempted to stab him. Kurama laughed at how slow the guy was moving. Naruto slapped the hand away and delivered a quick one-two punch to his gut, causing the man to double-over.

Sasuke had dispatched his foe and Naruto had stopped his. Kakashi walked in, dramatic entrance and all, and began to lecture them.

The carpenter was lying, but they still had a mission to do.

So while they were being transported across the sea, Tazuna gave them this sad little story about his grandson and Konoha ninja.

Naruto sort of zoned out until the man was done.

"Well, what do you guys think?"

Sakura seemed unsure. Sasuke didn't seem to have any inclination towards either side. It was Naruto's "why the fuck not" the convinced them all to keep moving. After, of course, Kakashi chided him for swearing.

Naruto responded by saying that he was legally an adult and so would swear whenever he wanted to. Kakashi rolled his eyes and returned to his vigilant post as watchman.

They reached the shore and the man rowing the boat left, trying to get some distance just in case Gato's men were in the area.

Naruto had absolutely no idea who Gato was. The Land of Waves was extremely prosperous from where he came from due to protection from the Land of Whirlpools. He guessed the clan's destruction meant that Wave was susceptible to tyrannies such as the one Tazuna had described.

Eh, he'd kill Gato while he was there. Why not?

Naruto's eyes slightly narrowed as he felt two chakra signatures nearby. One was extremely familiar to Naruto as Zabuza Momochi, while the other was completely unrecognizable.

Then came the super special sword flying through the air. Sasuke and Sakura, along with Kakashi and Tazuna, all hit the deck. Naruto let the thing fly over his head. If he was a short shinobi, he'd take advantage of that.

"Huh, looks like I missed. I guess you brats are lucky after all." Zabuza Momochi, in all of his masculine glory-

Shut the fuck up. Kurama smirked to itself and removed itself from Naruto's thoughts.

Anyway, Zabuza was standing on his large-ass sword, which was embedded in a thick tree. To be frank, he looked like a total badass.

Kakashi told them to assume positions near Tazuna and unveiled his super-awesome Sharingan eye.

Sasuke was stunned. He was only thirteen (or maybe twelve), he didn't know about magical procedures that implanted super-eyes into eye sockets.

Then Zabuza used the Hidden Mist jutsu, killing intent and creepy monologue included.

"You know," Naruto said absentmindedly, stopping Zabuza's creepy speech, "If you really were the 'Demon in the Mist' or whatever, you would stop this manic dialogue and kill us. Seriously, what the fuck are you doing?"

His teammates, sensei, and even the bridge builder looked at him in shock. "What?" Naruto said dumbly.

Again, Zabuza's voice echoed throughout the area. "Not a bad idea kid. I think I'll go with you first!"

And then a Water Clone of Zabuza appeared, swinging his blade. Kakashi stopped it and slammed the kunai into Zabuza's shoulder, turning the clone back into standing water.

Cue additional damned monologue about Kakashi's Sharingan. Naruto was getting annoyed. Seriously, this is kind of boring. Did any villains back in our time do this?

"Nagato, Sasori... I think Orochimaru did it too, but with him it's so hard to tell."

I know, right? He flirts with every child ever. Seriously, it's creepy.

"The whole 'want your body' thing doesn't help either."

Naruto nodded and returned his attention to the fight, watching as Kakashi was trapped in a Water Prison technique. "Ha, you're powerless to me now, Sharingan Kakashi. I think I'll take my sweet time killing your students."

Then he created a Water Clone which rose out of the water and began to walk, very slowly, towards Naruto and his team. Oh yeah, the carpenter too. Can't forget about him.

"Do something. Your team is scared shitless."

So Naruto created a bunch of solid clones and mobbed the Zabuza-clone. All of his clones were destroyed, except for one that threw a Fuuma Shuriken at Sasuke. The Uchiha boy realized what was going on and threw the thing high in the air.

Zabuza watched as the shuriken turned into Naruto, who fell straight down onto Zabuza's raised sword.

Sakura screamed. Kakashi gaped. Naruto exploded- literally.

Zabuza was blasted back, Kakashi was freed, and the real Naruto appeared next to Sasuke, smirking slightly. "I fucking love the Great Clone Explosion."

An enraged Zabuza fought Kakashi, lost, and got picked off by a hunter-nin who was really Haku. Right before Haku was about to leave, Naruto let a very important piece of information slip.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to cut his head off?"

The hunter-nin hesitated ever so slightly. "I am sorry, but I do not know any fire jutsu and the body is very important to my village. I do not trust you Konoha shinobi, either."

"Huh. Prepared for everything, eh?" The hunter-nin shrugged and grabbed the 'dead' body before Body Flickering away.

Kakashi collapsed and then Naruto spent his time dragging the nearly unconscious man to Tazuna's home.

VvVvV

=Tazuna's Home=

Naruto eyed Tsunami appreciatively. The woman could cook, clean, and wasn't that bad on the eyes. Of course, the blonde was interested in more than a housewife. He liked women who were strong, independent, and had a very good chance of kicking his ass.

He totally wasn't a masochist.

Kakashi had started them off on some idiotic tree-climbing exercise that he and Sakura got immediately, leaving Sasuke to stew.

When Sasuke appeared in the kitchen, all beat-up from the exercise, Naruto had to smirk. Why not? Brooding was boring. And lame. And, unfortunately, attracted fangirls.

"Finally got it? You could've just asked."

Naruto got a snort in response. Shrugging, Naruto turned to his meal.

Then Inari entered and asked why they all fought. Gato was invincible, too good for shinobi, etc. Never mind the fact that he's a short, ordinary man. No! He must be invincible since he's able to oppress an entire country that has no standing militia or shinobi force.

Well, that's impressive.

In order to change Inari's perspective, Naruto began to recount how many ways shinobi could kill each other.

He was on number thirty-seven when Kakashi ordered him to stop. Everyone's face was rather green. Naruto snickered and rubbed the back of his head before leaving.

He didn't really want to find out if anyone spilled their dinner onto the floor.

So he went into the forest, chatting with Kurama all the way, until he found a secluded clearing. He slumped down against a tree, taking some time to relax.

He saw a girl in a rather pretty kimono enter the clearing. She eyed him for a moment. "What are you doing so deep in the forest?" she asked in a musically soft voice.

"Relaxing," he said. "I'm kind of tired from training."

"Oh? You're a shinobi? Which village are you from?"

"The Village Hidden in the Leaves."

"Do you have a dream?"

"I don't know. I used to, but my world has kind of been turned upside-down."

The girl paused, examining the boy as he raised himself into a standing position and began to stretch. "Do you have anyone you fight for?"

Naruto paused to consider his answers. He couldn't say "a furball stuck in my gut" because that sounded silly. Really, really silly.

"I fight for a furball stuck in my gut," was his eloquent response. The girl gave him an odd look for a moment. "Oh, right. You might not understand anything. Shinobi matters are kind of ambiguous sometimes. Civilians such as yourself might not understand it all."

"I see. Why would you protect that 'furball in your gut', as you called it?"

Naruto shrugged. "It's been with me for my entire life. Why wouldn't I? If I go it goes and it's helped me a lot throughout my life."

"Ah. Well, I believe that people are strongest when they are fighting to protect someone who is precious to them. I'm guessing that furball is precious to you?"

"Yep. Very precious."

He heard the Kyuubi's snort echo in his head.

The girl smiled and began to pick up herbs that were littered throughout the clearing. "Who are you picking herbs for?"

"Someone precious to me," was her reply.

"This is getting really cheesy. And repetitive. Yes, yes, we get it. Fight for someone you love and you become stronger. All animals do that."

Except for the 'love' thing. Love is the most fickle emotion of them all.

"I realize that."

"Whoever is precious to you must be lucky to have such an attractive girl looking after them. What is your name? Mine is Naruto Uzumaki."

"My name is Haku," she said, finishing up her task. She gave the blonde a radiant smile and turned to leave. "Oh, and by the way... I'm a guy."

"Bullshit," was Naruto's immediate reply. She looked at him for a moment before raising a demure eyebrow. "The furball in my gut can smell your pheromones. You are most definitely female."

"Care to prove that?" she responded.

Naruto chuckled in reply. "I'm not that kind of guy. Besides, it's cool if you're pretending to be male. Gato's henchmen are running around and I suspect it would be dangerous for a female to be out on her own.

"Even if she is a ninja."

Haku's eyes widened and she jumped back, entering a battle stance just in case the Konoha ninja decided to attack her.

Instead, he shook his head. "I'm not going to attack you. I don't know who you are aside from your name." She relaxed her stance. "Besides, you should be careful. There's a strong missing-nin in the area."

Haku nodded carefully before turning to leave. The wide, charming smile Naruto had on almost caused her to blush. Almost. "Nice to meet you, Haku-chan. I hope we can meet again someday."

Then they left towards their own destinations. Haku went back to Zabuza and Naruto returned to Tazuna's home to crash.

The following day, they all (bar Naruto, who was sleeping for some reason) went to the bridge, only to find most of the workers dead. They had long since figured out that the hunter-nin was a rogue, so Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke prepared to fight.

Sakura was stuck watching Tazuna again while Kakashi faced off with Zabuza. Sasuke was able to match the speed of Haku before she used her Demonic Mirroring Ice Crystals to begin peppering the Uchiha with senbon.

Naruto walked through the gaps in-between the mirrors at a casual place, having stopped the bandits from roughing Tsunami up. He helped Inari, too.

From her position within the mirrors, Haku watched Naruto nonchalantly walk into her environment. Then he made a jab at Sasuke, which caused the Uchiha to shout at him.

"Look, all I'm saying is that this is ice. Shouldn't you, I don't know, melt it or something?"

You couldn't melt the ice. The temperature was maintained by chakra, which was why it was so damn sturdy. Naruto turned his attention to the hunter-nin. "Huh, I didn't think a member of the Yuki Clan would go rogue. Wait, different Kirigakure."

Haku was surprised the blonde knew of her destroyed clan, but the way he spoke of Kiri was strange.

Anyway, Naruto created clones which let themselves get dispelled by needles. Eventually, Sasuke awakened his Sharingan and got knocked out by Haku.

"I'm sorry to have killed your friend. Please surrender. I don't want to do the same to you."

Naruto's response was to snort. "Really? I was waiting for you to knock him out, Haku-chan. My sensei and female teammate won't really notice this, but I'm going to beat you into submission. And then afterward, I can take you out to dinner as an apology."

Each reflection clearly showed Haku palming her mask. Why was he attempting to flirt with her in a battle? The girl sighed, readying another batch of senbon.

When she threw them this time, the blond vanished. No after-image, no blur, nothing. And then her mirror shattered, releasing her awe-struck body and causing the rest of the jutsu to fall apart.

"You know," Naruto said, dusting himself off, "That was picture-perfect. I think I'd give Zabuza a run for his money."

Haku rose to her feet, checking herself for any injuries. "How did you end my jutsu? You're even faster than I am..."

Naruto shrugged. "I'm a jinchūriki. I was created simply to be a tool, a weapon. I'm the Leaf's trump, but they don't treat me as such. They treat me as a monster. Honestly, I don't care. The people who matter won't mind at all."

Finding a parallel to the boy, Haku went through her own monologue. Heart-wrenching, sad, and then heart-warming as the demon known as Zabuza Momochi picked her up and raised her as her own. It really gave the man a different light.

Or maybe that was Kakashi's Lightning Cutter in the distance. Haku cast a glance at Naruto, but the blonde clapped his hands together and exhaled, launching a whirlwind that stopped everything.

It also revealed Gato and the hundred mercenaries waiting for Zabuza to finish up. Gato explained what he was going to do, which ended up in most of the mercenaries and Gato dying from Zabuza's frenzied vengeance.

Oh yeah, Kakashi helped.

In the end, they were all at Tsunami's house. Sasuke was happy to have awakened his Sharingan, Sakura was happy the mission went well, Kakashi was happy his students were still alive, and Haku was happy Zabuza was still alive.

No one knew, bar Haku, about Naruto's overwhelming power.

The night before Team 7 was supposed to leave, Haku grabbed Naruto and dragged him into the clearing where they had originally met.

The scene was really beautiful. Moonlight, cute girl, charming boy. Ignore the age difference and the fact that any intimate action between the two would have the elders frowning.

No, they didn't have sex. Naruto's a bit too "young" for that. Well, his body is. Besides, they only really just met. Get over yourselves.

"Tell me why you thought a Yuki would stay loyal to Kirigakure."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, internally groaning at Kurama's admonishments. "Would you believe I'm from an alternate timeline in which Kirigakure didn't get their 'Bloody Mist' moniker?"

Haku gave him a deadpan look. "Right. It was a good try. It's true, you know. Anyway, I was simply misinformed. I was taught to be loyal to my village, after all. Kekkei genkai are useful."

"Aside from common sense, how would you know that?"

Naruto shrugged and then made a hand-seal. "Does the surname Uzumaki remind you of anything? A past clan situated near Kiri, maybe?"

Haku watched, transfixed as water was drawn from the moisture in the cool, night air. It coalesced around his hands, forming ice shards. With a flick of his wrist, the shards of ice flew from his hand to a nearby tree.

"You know, that kind of seems overpowered."

I'm from the future. This body's had the damn bloodline for a while and I've only now been able to awaken it. God knows how long the idiot who used to reside in here would take.

"You know, that somehow strikes me as incredibly overpowered."

"Are you sure you and the furball aren't in cohorts, Haku-chan?" The girl giggled, giving him a smile.

They talked for a little while before returning to Tsunami's house. Zabuza gave him an odd look, but Kakashi threw a discrete thumbs up.

All of the shinobi got to know each other better over the next few days. The bridge was built and they all left.

Much to Kurama's amusement, the bridge was named "The Great Naruto Bridge".

Zabuza and Haku left Team 7 at a crossroads, both determined to find more resources and recruits for the fight against their tainted Mizukage.

Before they left, Haku gave Naruto a kiss on the cheek and a wink. Naruto gave her his own foxy smile and high-tailed it out of there before no-brows Zabuza decided to decapitate him.

Kakashi chuckled to himself, muttering about how his cute little genin was a heartbreaker to enemy kunoichi.

Sakura was flabbergasted. Sasuke was smirking.

Sasuke was a guy. Of course he was smirking; he was subtly congratulating his male comrade in his dealings with a female. Broody or not, Sasuke was a male teenager.

Naruto found the rebellion in Kiri to be strange. Yagura was a level-headed man. He realized the power and value of bloodline users, as well as how to run a village based off of sea trade. It was he who had turned Kirigakure into a force to be reckoned with.

In this world, Yagura's actions were completely different and made no sense at all. Most shinobi weren't complete idiots- or so Naruto hoped. They weren't in his timeline, but it was hard to tell in this particular one.

Maybe he'd pay Haku a visit once she got near Kiri.

It was why he had given her a scroll containing a Hiraishin seal.