Chapter Thirteen: This is Delicious
"Should I be surprised that Lord Jiraiya isn't Hokage?" Pakura asked, pointing to the Hokage monument.
Naruto shrugged. "Probably not. This place has differences. Were there any noticeable differences in the Hidden Sand?"
"No idea. I was out on missions trying to regain my old level of strength and then some."
Naruto snickered. "This is why I love being a jinchūriki: it cuts down on recovery times and speeds up development." Pakura punched his arm for that. "Anyway, we gotta tell them what's going on. Gaara and his siblings are here too, so..."
Pakura appeared unsure for a moment. "Well, how many people do know?" she asked.
Naruto was silent for a moment. Then he chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "Everybody but the jōnin, my old comrades... or should I say new? I really don't know how to classify the ones that graduated with me."
"Now, when you say everybody... you mean when you ran around the villages screwing random kunoichi senseless, right?"
Naruto snorted. "Essentially. I'm wondering if they're all going to kill you..."
Pakura shuddered. "Yeah, no. No fangirls, right?"
"Right," Naruto agreed, grinning at her. Then he glanced to his right as he saw Kurenai, Asuma, Kakashi, and Gai appear. All of them bore quizzical expressions and were wondering why Naruto had called them over. "Finally. For jōnin, you guys take a long time to appear on schedule."
"I blame Kakashi," Asuma quickly said, jerking a thumb over at the masked jōnin.
"Hmm?" Kakashi said, putting his pornographic book down for a moment. "Did you say something, Asuma?"
Naruto and Pakura watched as Gai went off about how "cool" and "hip" Kakashi was. The masked jōnin merely shrugged and went back to reading his porn, much to the ire of Kurenai, who was trying to burn Kakashi alive with her glare.
"Stop bickering, please," Naruto said. As amusing as it was, he needed to tell the jōnin. The others... could wait. There was still fun to be had there. "I'm sure Kakashi knows why I called him here, but you three don't, right?"
"That is correct, Naruto," Kurenai replied, folding her arms and raising an eyebrow at why Naruto had called the jōnin over.
"Well... it's about who I really am." Their expressions turned skeptical. Well, except for Kakashi. His was just lazy, like always. "No, seriously. I'm sure you all remember when I kept saying that I was from an alternate timeline, right?" The jōnin nodded. "Well... it's actually true."
Dot dot dot.
Then the jōnin all burst into laughter. Naruto and Pakura exchanged glances as the jōnin began to laugh harder. A few minutes later, Kurenai was leaning on Asuma for support and Kakashi and Gai were sitting on the ground, back to back, wiping their eyes. "I'm sorry Naruto, but that is too youthful to be true," Gai said, smiling brightly.
"Would you believe that I was from the same world, only I entered this timeline earlier?" Pakura offered. The jōnin all snorted a bit before dropping into fits of giggling. "Come on, it would make sense given how I immediately recognized Naruto over here back in the Hidden Sand..."
Kakashi cleared his throat and rose to his feet. "That's a valid point, but we don't know where Naruto went during his travels with Lord Jiraiya. He could've met you-"
"Oh, cut the crap, Kakashi," Naruto interrupted. "You're the only one here who reads Jiraiya's material, so you should recognize where we've been. It's not like he put any real effort in changing the character names."
Kakashi blinked, brought his book up again, flipped through some pages, and then stared back at Naruto. Then he giggled perversely and gave Naruto a thumbs up. "I knew you had it in you, kid!"
Kurenai looked a bit affronted at that. "So while you were out of the Hidden Leaf with Lord Jiraiya, you served as... inspiration for his pornographic novels?"
"If what he told me is correct, then yes," Pakura replied. Naruto flinched slightly as Kurenai's face became completely neutral and her arms began to rise up. Asuma stopped her, of course, but the implication was still there.
At this point, Kurenai was seriously considering telling Hinata to find some other guy to worship. A promiscuous man was not one she would suggest as a partner.
"I know what you're thinking, but I have a clan to resurrect. I have a bloodline too, so it's not like I'm doing it for the hell of it... even though it is fun."
"Yeah, that doesn't help your cause," Pakura muttered, smirking slightly at Naruto.
"That should be against the law," Kurenai muttered, rubbing her forehead with her right hand.
"I can kill, I can fuck," Naruto cheekily replied. His answer got him a glare in response. "But seriously, I am from an alternate timeline. I did vaporize Deidara... and I was pretty much apathetic towards everything we did."
Kakashi rubbed his chin. "That would explain some things. Did you learn anything on your trip?"
"Nope," Naruto replied, craning his neck up and putting his hands on his hips.
The masked jōnin sighed and then shrugged to himself. "Well, I'm game."
"Of course you're game. It would take too much effort to believe otherwise!" Kurenai snapped. "I can't believe this, Naruto. Maybe you trained to the point of being able to do this, but I doubt you're actually from an alternate timeline. You're in a teenage body, after all."
"Right... I figured out why it's like that," Pakura murmured.
"So did I, but I don't want to explain it," Naruto added. Kakashi gave him a thumbs up. "Can I just take the easy way out?"
"What is the easy way out, Naruto?" Gai asked, also having risen from the ground.
Naruto bit his thumb, ran through some seals, and slammed his palms on the ground. There was a puff of smoke, and Fukasaku appeared. "Hey, geezer toad. You mind helping me out here?"
Fukasaku looked up at the four jōnin and then back at Naruto. He also observed Pakura for a moment before frowning. "Naruto-boy, why is another member of your timeline here? The sage didn't mention anything about this."
Pakura stared at the toad before turning her head to Naruto. "That's fairly interesting. When did they find out?" she asked.
"When he signed the summoning contract," Fukasaku said. "I'm guessing that's why the sage didn't mention anything about it."
"How do you even know she's from my timeline?" Naruto asked, completely ignoring the befuddled looks on the nearby jōnin. He shook his head right after and said, "Never mind. Can you tell Kurenai, Asuma, and Gai that this isn't my home timeline?"
"Right," Fukasaku croaked. Then he hopped up on Naruto's shoulder and raised his staff up. "Hear ye, hear ye. This blond troublemaker here is not from his timeline. He came here through unknown means from an alternate one. Our sage said so, especially since he apparently does what he wants. Is that all, boyo?" Naruto nodded and Fukasaku vanished in a puff of smoke.
"Well? Is that good enough for you three?" Pakura asked, raising an eyebrow at the stunned jōnin. Well, Kakashi wasn't stunned. He had already accepted it.
"That- Doesn't- What..." Kurenai was stuttering in an attempt to comprehend Naruto's proof. Summons always work. Fuck yeah.
Asuma chuckled to himself. "Well, that's a neat fact. So how strong are you two?" he asked.
Pakura shrugged. "I'm about as strong as Lady Chiyo was, but Naruto..."
"I doubt anyone could defeat me. It would take another overpowered ninja to defeat me."
"While that is a most youthful sentiment, you should be overconfident," Gai boomed. He was now on the ground doing push-ups.
Naruto shrugged. "Whatever. I'm going now. I hope you all fix Kurenai up." Naruto grabbed Pakura and they both vanished in a Body Flicker.
Kurenai was still moving her mouth up and down in shock. Asuma sighed to himself. "Come on, Kurenai. Might as well get you a drink while we're at it."
VvVvV
=Tenchi Bridge=
"I wish Pakura-chan was here. At least she'd be more fun to hang around with," Naruto whined as he crouched in the brush alongside Sai and Sakura. Kakashi wasn't there because he's a lazy ass, despite the fact that he wasn't in the hospital for chakra exhaustion.
Yamato was in a Sasori puppet costume and was speaking with Kabuto. Even from this distance, Naruto could tell Kabuto was receiving tells from Orochimaru, who was hidden in the brush behind the bridge. "Shut up, Naruto! We're trying to figure out where Sasuke-kun is!" Sakura hissed.
"I believe you two should be quiet," Sai murmured. Naruto put a hand to his mouth and yawned.
And then Kabuto attacked Yamato, breaking the wooden armor in the process. Orochimaru popped up too, grinning maniacally at Yamato. He mentioned something about a DNA infusion regarding Yamato's past, but Naruto ignored that.
The signal was made, and the newly formed Team 7 jumped in front of Yamato as backup. Kabuto and Orochimaru were smirking at them. "Oh? It looks like you're all here for Sasuke-kun?" Orochimaru said in his creepy tone of voice.
Naruto snorted in laughter before clearing his throat. "Yeah, yeah. I'm here to get him out."
Kabuto pushed up his glasses, making them gleam. "Maybe you should retreat, Naruto-kun.. We're a bit-"
"Yeah, yeah, out of your league. Whatever." Naruto inhaled deeply, clapped his hands together, and then exhaled out a powerful, churning winds that forced Kabuto and Orochimaru to jump away from the bridge and to the sides. The wind was strong enough to take out the supports at the end of the bridge and flatten down quite a few trees nearby.
Team 7 leapt away from the collapsing bridge, with the exception of Naruto who went after Orochimaru. The snake guy smirked and backpedaled, leading Naruto away from his team. Kabuto decided to engage the remaining members of Team 7.
"Stop running god damn it! Why do all of the bad guys do this? Can't we just sit still and annihilate each other?" Naruto shouted, increasing his speed to catch up with the pace Orochimaru was setting.
"Yeah, because he wants to die right? You remember what happened last time we fought? He regenerated a billion fucking times before Itachi sealed him away." That had been a pain in the ass. Cut him in half, regenerate. Decapitate him, regenerate. Burn his arms and body? New fucking snake body. That had been infuriating.
"Ku ku ku... you seem rather eager, don't you Naruto-kun?" Orochimaru said, jumping into a clearing and settling into a relaxed stance.
Naruto landed a ways in front of him and scrutinized his opponent. "Can you regenerate from being completely destroyed?" Naruto suddenly asked.
Orochimaru laughed at Naruto. "My, my... you might have surprised me before, but you shouldn't underestimate your enemies."
Naruto shrugged. "Yeah, whatever." Naruto stamped the ground with his foot once, causing it to turn into a murky bog that spread out rapidly. Orochimaru jumped away to avoid being sucked into it and then extended his right hand, sending out a multitude of snakes.
Naruto merely whipped wind chakra out, severing them all. He rushed forward and over the bog, manipulating it so that he wouldn't sink. When he reached Orochimaru, the snake sannin vomited out a sword that nearly impaled Naruto.
Nearly.
With the sword out, Naruto decided to channel lightning chakra down his right arm. It was really a variant of the Lightning Armor the Raikage used, but no one needed to know that. With Orochimaru holding his sword and swinging viciously at Naruto's body, the blond had to bend and move to avoid the stabbing strikes.
Occasionally, if Orochimaru came too close, Naruto would simply use his right arm, sheathed in crackling electricity, to ward off the attack. His chakra was potent enough to do that. As Naruto batted the sword away one more time, Orochimaru opened his mouth and shot out a snake that lunged forward in an attempt to bite the blond jinchūriki.
Unperturbed, Naruto pivoted to his left and grabbed the snake with his electrified arm. With a mighty pull, he zapped Orochimaru and threw the sannin over to where the ground was still bogged up. Unfortunately, when the sannin hit the bog, it solidified, displaying the snake's mastery over chakra manipulation.
Something like that.
Orochimaru briefly frowned before smirking again at Naruto. "My, my, Naruto-kun... you seem a bit more skilled than the last time we fought."
"Actually, I just grew taller," Naruto quipped. "You must be getting too old for your body. Is arthritis kicking in yet?"
In response, Orochimaru flipped through some seals and exhaled a raging stream of fire. The fire was hot enough to ignite nearby glass. Despite the incoming danger, Naruto remained completely still.
Chains erupted from the ground, twisting and writhing in the air. The chains whipped forward and sliced into the chakra-laced fire, splitting it and causing the attack to dissipate. With the threat eliminated, the chains shot to where Orochimaru was standing.
Thinking quickly, Orochimaru created a mud clone and swapped with it while borrowing underground. The clone slammed his hands into the ground, causing a single, large wall with a strange face on it to rise from the ground. Rather than collide with the new obstacle, the chains merely diverted their course and continued towards the mud clone.
There was a loud splat as the chains pierced and eviscerated the clone. Upon realizing that the target was gone, the chains vanished in bursts of light and the shadow clones they were connected to burst from the ground. The two clones narrowed their eyes. "Boss, he's tunneling-" Before the clone could finish, it was dispelled by an extending sword that had appeared from the ground.
The other clone began to glow and expand before it too was pierced by the kusanagi blade. Instead of exploding like Orochimaru assumed, gallons upon gallons of water began gushing from the hole in the clone's chest. The amount of water forced Orochimaru to retract his blade, lift his now-long neck from the ground, and vomit out a new body. The new body glared at the small lake that covered the clearing.
"Finally," Naruto muttered. "Now I can do this. Water Release: Multi Dragon Water Bullet!" Holding a single hand-seal up, Naruto willed the water to life as Orochimaru prepared a defense. This was becoming too much trouble than what it was worth.
Half a dozen blue dragons with glowing yellow eyes rose from the water, each hissing and growling at Orochimaru. With his other hand, Naruto formed another single hand-seal. "Have fun with this, snake dude. If you survive, send me a memo."
With that, Naruto turned into water and fell into the small lake beneath his feet. The six water dragons roared as a glowing yellow seal appeared on each of their necks. Another larger, more complex seal appeared on the water as well. Orochimaru backpedaled and jumped on top of a tree, wondering what was happening. He had no honest idea on how to stop this, nor did he know what was going to happen next.
He'd find out though.
The water, as if it had a life on its own, divided and rushed towards each dragon. As the water receded, it revealed completely dry soil beneath it, signifying that it was leeching all of the moisture it had brought.
However, that wasn't really the main show. Each dragon rose up on watery haunches and front legs. They all looked like snakes made of water with additional limbs attached to their bodies. Orochimaru grit his teeth as each dragon roared at him.
With their maws gaping open, they began firing motherfucking jets of fire at him.
That was when Orochimaru thought that he might have been in over his head. The Kyuubi jinchūriki was abnormally powerful and his strengths didn't really correspond with his age. Hell, the seals he was using looked more complicated than the ones Jiraiya used!
He ducked under another jet of fire and avoided a swipe of a claw that downed a nearby tree. One hit from the claws would seriously injure him and the fire didn't look too nice either. How the hell did a water dragon spew fire anyway?
Orochimaru did catch another dragon rearing its head back to breathe another jet of fire. This time, he noticed that the glowing seal on the dragon's neck pulsed before the fire was actually expelled. So, he reasoned that the seal helped give the dragons life and the ability to breathe motherfucking fire.
He was really, really annoyed at that fact. Who wouldn't? Water dragons breathing fire at you? Unbelievable bullshit.
Still, the seal was as good a target as any. Withdrawing a kunai, Orochimaru slapped an explosive tag on it and threw it. The kunai multiplied in midair, resulting in a multitude of explosions barraging the snarling dragons. When the smoke cleared, Orochimaru saw that two of the dragons had collapsed into puddles of water.
That might have been an achievement, only that the puddles of water attached themselves to two other dragons. These two already-large dragons now had a pair of wings on their backs.
"You've got to be kidding me," Orochimaru said. "How is this even fair? I mean, sure I can regenerate and I'm essentially invincible, but that doesn't give that brat the right to do this! Ugh, this is annoying." He flipped through some seals and summoned Manda. "Fetch," Orochimaru ordered before slinking away.
Kabuto was already having an annoying time against Sakura, Sai, and Yamato attacking him together, but then he noticed an extremely loud series of bangs. Momentarily looking away from Sai, he saw Manda appear in the distance and then attack something. That was followed by another series of bangs, this time large enough to cause a huge explosion to encompass the area where his master was fighting.
Kabuto frowned at this. "Ah, it seems as if I should take my leave..." he muttered.
"Hell no! You're not getting away until we get Sasuke-kun back!" Sakura shouted, cocking her fist back once more.
No one anticipated Orochimaru appearing out of nowhere and grabbing Kabuto. "We're leaving, Kabuto. There's no reason to remain. The Kyuubi brat was significantly more powerful than I presumed." Kabuto nodded and then the two shot off at a high speed.
Just as Sakura was about to follow, Naruto appeared. "Hey, did Orochimaru leave yet?" Everyone stared at him before nodding. "Huh, I really thought that the Water Dragon Animation Jutsu would finish him off. Maybe I should've used an Earth Dragon one..."
"Or maybe you should've blown him up yourself," Kurama flatly said.
I'll kill him eventually. Probably next time. That way, he's gone and not a part of the plot anymore since he doesn't amount to anything anyway.
"What?" Kurama replied in a quizzical tone.
Naruto shook his head in amusement. Never mind. "All right, I know where they're heading. Follow me."
"Naruto, wait," Yamato said. "I was briefed on your... condition, but should we really keep going?"
"Yes," Naruto replied. "Sasuke's waiting and he'll get pissed if I take too long."
Naruto shot off like a rocket, with his teammates and captain following after a moment of hesitation.
VvVvV
=Orochimaru's Base=
Naruto was looking around in the dreary, depressing cave that Orochimaru called a base. "And everyone wonders why he looks so pasty..." Naruto muttered.
After speaking with Sai about something regarding the ROOT's brother, Naruto let Sakura run around and begin searching for Sasuke. In Naruto's honest opinion, running to and opening every fucking door in a creepy base that housed a pedophile didn't seem like the smartest thing to do.
Instead of doing that completely idiotic action, Naruto activated his precious bar-pupils and homed in on Sasuke's familiar chakra signature. Sakura, Sai, and Yamato began to follow him since he seemed to know where he was going.
After some time of navigating the corridors, Naruto walked up to a specific door. He stopped right in front of it, folded his arms across his chest, and then glanced at Sakura. "Sasuke's behind this door. I don't... what the fuck?" Naruto put his ear to the door. He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Huh... he has good taste after all. I fucking told him so!"
Naruto backed up and smirked at the door as it opened. A catchy beat suddenly sounded, causing Naruto to tap the floor with his right foot.
And then Sasuke moon-walked out. Everyone could only stare at the once-loyal Uchiha. Sasuke had green shinobi pants, a black shirt, a gray jacket over the shirt, and a necklace with the Uchiha fan on it. It looked much better than what he had been wearing last time, Naruto thought.
When the beat abruptly ended, Sasuke spun around and faced the four ninja. "Yo! Let's get out of here."
"That's my line," Naruto flatly said. Then he bumped fists with the Uchiha. "You're right, let's go. I'm going to detonate this place. Orochimaru's dead anyway."
"Got him, did you?" Sasuke asked.
"Yeah, sealed him within my body and then had Kurama eat him. That was entertaining to watch."
"That tasted disgusting. Fuck you," Kurama rumbled.
Yamato blinked and scratched his head. "Wait, that's it?"
Naruto blinked for a moment before frowning deeply. "Wait, there's another chakra signature in here. It's... an Uzumaki..."
Sasuke's smirk transformed into a horrified gasp. "Oh gods, please no. She's the worst one of them all."
"Even in Sound there were fangirls?" Naruto asked, obviously amused with the idea. Sasuke nodded and then turned to Sakura, who was still quite dumbfounded.
"Sakura-chan, you and I are together, all right? It's the only way to ward her off!" He harshly whispered. Sakura's jaw dropped and she blushed despite herself. Sasuke snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to his body. "Now, let's get out. Flying Thunder God?"
"Nope," Naruto replied. "I want to find this Uzumaki. Be right back." Naruto vanished from view, a smoke outline occupying where he was previously standing.
Sai raised an eyebrow. "I am very confused on these interactions. None of this makes any sense according to what my book told me."
VvVvV
=Somewhere Else in the Base=
Naruto's brow was furrowed as he walked at a brisk pace, hurrying towards where he felt the chakra originate from. It was a door at the other side of the base that had a similar chakra signature to the Uzumaki members in his own timeline. It wasn't distinctive, but the feel was there.
After about ten minutes, he was at the front of the door. Deactivating his Sage Mode, he reached up to knock... only to have the door open right before his eyes. A blur tackled him to the ground, nearly crushing his ribs with the strength of the hug the person was giving him.
Hugs are nice. Crushing hugs... not so much. They kind of hurt after a while. Not that Naruto could seriously be hurt, but you get the idea.
Looking down, Naruto noticed bright red hair, glasses, and disheveled clothes. The girl's skin was glistening slightly, and there was a particular scent on her that really confused him. Why would you even do that in Orochimaru's base? It would really be a mood killer.
"Uh... hello? Are you all right?" Naruto began, gazing at the holding onto him with a slight bit of worry. No one randomly hugged him like that. They usually talked to him and began to like him before any actual contact like that occurred.
"I'm fine," the girl panted out. She looked up at him and smiled. Naruto took notice of her odd, red eyes. "You... you're..." She began to ramble incoherently. The only words Naruto could figure out were "your chakra feels delicious".
"Did you just say my chakra feels delicious?" Naruto queried with a small laugh.
She nodded rapidly, not moving from her position. "Yes. My name is Karin and I'm a sensor and your chakra is... delicious. It's the most magnificent I've felt... ever." She pushed him down and straddled his waist with a lecherous grin.
From below, Naruto rolled his eyes. "I really shouldn't even ask at this point. Are you an Uzumaki?"
Put off by the sudden question, Karin nodded. "Yes... why?"
"So that's why you can feel my chakra. You must be one of the last Uzumaki sensors remaining," Naruto said. At Karin's surprised look, he elaborated. "Right, I'm an Uzumaki too. I have their special Storm Release bloodline."
Karin gasped and then leaned down and kissed him full on the lips. She released him and grinned despite their awkward positioning. "I never thought I'd find another one..."
"Yeah, I've got information on their sealing practices too. You have any knowledge of that or no?"
Karin nodded slowly. "I have some knowledge about sealing, but not much. The Uzumaki kind of... died out, you know?"
"How could I not," Naruto replied. Then he looked down and saw what Karin was doing. "Look, this could be very fun and all, but I've got to take Sasuke back to the Hidden Leaf before Kabuto decides to strike back."
At the mention of Sasuke's name, Karin tilted her head. "What about Orochimaru?"
"Killed him."
"Seriously?"
"Yep."
"Wow."
"I get that a lot."
Karin then noticed the forehead protector Naruto was wearing. "You're from the Hidden Leaf?"
"Yep."
"Seriously?"
"For real."
"So can I come with you?"
Naruto blinked and then shrugged as best he could. "Well, yeah. I managed to get a minor village to allow their jinchūriki to transfer to the Hidden Leaf, as well as keep an enemy ninja there and help that ninja turn a new leaf."
"Pun intended?"
"Definitely," Naruto said, smirking at her. "You still want to come along?"
Karin seemed to ponder the question for a moment before nodding. She pumped her fist in the air and adjusted her glasses. "Hell yes!"
"By the way, I'm Naruto Uzumaki."
"Pleased to meet you. By any chance, are you a jinchūriki?"
"Yep," Naruto confirmed, nodding his head. "Kyuubi jinchūriki here. It's how I managed to connect with Nanabi's jinchūriki. She needed some lovin'."
Karin raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Oh, I kind of have a harem... because the Uzumaki clan needs to be reborn, right?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. Then he bit back a groan as Karin moved a bit. "We can get to that in the Hidden Leaf..."
Karin smirked. "I hope so. I'll be waiting for it."
When the two Uzumaki returned to where Sasuke was, the Uchiha shrieked in fear and hid behind Sakura, who gave Karin a death glare. In response, Karin clung to Naruto's arm. "Yeah, she's with me," Naruto explained.
Sasuke peeked out from behind Sakura and gave him a thumbs up. "Thank god that you remove- err, I mean got a new harem member."
"Yeah, one less fangirl for you," Naruto muttered, shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders. "So what did you guys do while I was gone?"
Sakura took this moment to walk up to Naruto and then lean in close to his ear. "Why is Sasuke so different?" she whispered.
"Well, Orochimaru is kind of... freaky. And creepy. And for some reason, attracted to young bodies. All of this served to make Sasuke's sexuality more active. As in, he's not a god damn log when you talk to him," Naruto whispered back.
"Oh... so... Wait, does this mean I have to share him now?"
Naruto frowned at Sakura. "What he does is what he does. Technically, he's going to be eligible for the clan restoration bullshit like me, so get used to it."
Sakura grunted and ran back to Sasuke before clinging to his arm much like Karin was doing to Naruto. Both girls had little sparkly hearts around them as they held onto their boys. Sai was very, very confused about this action.
"Anyway, everyone grab a clone." Three clones appeared out of nowhere. One grabbed Yamato, one grabbed Sai, and the last one grabbed both Sakura and Sasuke. "Flying Thunder God for the win!" Naruto yelled.
With a yellow flash, everyone vanished.
Outside of the base, Kabuto frowned to himself. "Well, Lord Orochimaru's gone... I guess I'll go DNA splicing now even though in the end, it makes no sense whatsoever."