Chapter Seventeen: Barriers Need Warranty
"And I'm here, why?" Pakura asked, staring at Naruto with a bored expression on her face.
"Because Nagato has resurrected bodies and you can incinerate the chakra rods he's using from the inside-out," Naruto explained. "Plus, I want to see his face when you do that. It's going to be awesome."
Tayuya whacked the back of Naruto's head. "You're an idiot, shithead. If he's fighting you with resurrected bodies, then can he really make facial expressions? You won't even be fucking fighting the real one!"
Naruto grumbled to himself and rubbed the back of his head while shooting a glare at Tayuya. He and a bunch of people were sitting in a clearing near some random training field. They were trying to figure out ways to defeat Nagato and his assortment of dead bodies.
Normally, Naruto would just steamroll through them all, but damage to the Hidden Leaf had to be kept to a minimum. That was unfortunate, because now he had to sit down with his friends in order to figure out how to get rid of the deranged Akatsuki leader.
It wasn't really fun. Simply using a Tailed Beast Bomb would suffice, but he couldn't damage the village. Damn the Hokage. Damn Tsunade and Jiraiya for agreeing with him, too.
"I could always act as bait," Fuu suggested, drawing attention to herself.
Karin frowned at that. "That's not exactly smart. This guy's the leader of Akatsuki. There's got to be a reason for that."
"What else can this guy do, Naruto?" Kiba asked, speaking up for the first time since Naruto had called them all together.
The blond jinchūriki tapped his chin. "He can absorb chakra, control gravitational force, he has all five chakra natures-"
"Are you kidding me?" Chouji spluttered, nearly choking on the chips he had been devouring. "All five chakra natures? Did he train in them like Lord Hokage?"
Shikamaru grunted. "Doubtful. He supposedly has the Rinnegan, so they might just be ingrained in him. How troublesome," he muttered.
Ino gulped. "Maybe we're out of her league here, guys..."
"If Nagato attacks the Hidden Leaf directly, you will have no choice but to defend your home," Itachi stoically said. Everyone but Naruto jumped slightly at his voice: he was so silent it was as if he was never there at all.
Plus people were still getting used to his reappearance and the truth of the Uchiha Massacre. It wasn't as if everyone would immediately accept an S-rank criminal who offed their family. That would seriously be stupid.
Sakura, who was latched onto Sasuke's eyes, squirmed uncomfortably. "Is one man really enough to pose a threat to an entire village?" she asked.
Sasuke's eyes gleamed and he gave Sakura a charming smile. "Kage-level ninja and jinchūriki pose enough of a threat to an entire village, so it's not so farfetched to think that Nagato poses a high threat to us on his own. He has... what's that other member's name, bro?"
Itachi's eyebrow twitched. "His accomplice will most likely be Konan, who he has known for most of his life. She has mastery over paper and can create explosive tags without seals at will. She can fly, too."
"She won't be a problem," Guren said. "Blondie here told me that she's pretty much infatuated with him by now."
Yukimaru raised an eyebrow. "Really, Naruto? Another one?" This had the effect of Hinata glaring at him. Most of the other females seemed unrealistically indifferent to that bit of information.
"What do you mean "another one"?" Naruto exclaimed. "It's not my fault I'm amazing. Besides, she didn't even know how to have fun. It was only paperwork and Akatsuki bullshit."
"I'm still surprised that Akatsuki has paperwork. Are you sure you didn't mishear what Konan said?" Kurama asked.
Hell no. Even high-profile criminal organizations have to deal with that shit. Kurama snorted in response.
"But seriously, how should we deal with him? Mobbing his zombie bodies won't work because he has that gravitational 'get-the-fuck-away-from-me' move and because I don't want any of you to die via brain liquidation."
"He can do that too?" Shino asked. "Resurrected bodies, brain liquidation... if he can resurrect other people, then he's not a ninja; he's a necromancer."
Everyone blinked at Shino's statement. Naruto decided to indulge him. "Yes, he can resurrect dead people. Nice call, by the way," the blond jinchūriki said.
Shino nodded. There was a growl from the only attending Inuzuka kunoichi. "What else can he do? Lord Jiraiya mentioned something about summoning animals. Maybe we should deal with those while you deal with the more dangerous bodies?" Hana asked.
"Could you guys deal with them? I'm sure he's going to summon them to deal damage to the village while causing disruption and mayhem," Naruto said.
"That shit should be easy," Tayuya exclaimed, grinning toothily at Naruto.
"Be careful. His summons aren't like ordinary summons. He can see through them," the blond jinchūriki explained. "Don't let your guard down. I would deal with him myself, but that damned old man made me swear not to blow up the village." Naruto shook his head in frustration.
"Did he make me swear not to blow up the village?" Fuu asked in a small voice.
Naruto straightened immediately and vanished, only to reappear in front of Fuu. The rapid motion caused her to jump slightly in surprise. "The Hokage never mentioned anything about you blowing stuff up... You're amazing. You just made my day, Fuu-chan," Naruto said with a wide grin.
Fuu's face reddened and she nodded rapidly. "Y-Yeah. I can't go full Tailed Beast mode yet, but I can control up to Four Tails without a problem."
"Good enough," Naruto acknowledged. He rubbed his hands together maniacally. "Nagato and his lumps of flesh won't know what hit him... or them. That's kind of confusing, actually."
Tenten blinked. "Wait, we didn't even go over anything. All you did was inform us of some of his tactics and then tell us to deal with his summons while you and Fuu blow him up with large and unnecessary explosions."
"Seems about right," Hanabi chimed in. Everyone turned to stare at her. "What? Karin and Tayuya always tell me stories about what Naruto does whenever I go over to the Fourth's mansion. He likes to win by blowing stuff up and disintegrating whatever is inside."
Everyone, bar the girls who more or less knew Naruto's fighting style turned to stare at the blond. "Well, yeah. Of course I do that. It's the easiest way. Why drag out a battle with kunai and shuriken when you can just blow up the plot of land?"
Words spoken from a probably not-so-wise man.
VvVvV
"Where is Naruto Uzumaki?" Konan asked, glaring at the Leaf chūnin who was currently encased in paper.
"I'll never tell you Akatsuki scum where he is! He is-"
Konan covered his mouth up with paper and sighed. "I get it. He's special, he's worth a damn to this village, blah blah blah. I've heard the acknowledgment bit before." The paper left the man's mouth and he took great, deep breaths to fill his lungs with air. "I want him for a different reason. So, if I wasn't with, say, Akatsuki, would you tell me where he was hiding?"
The chūnin seemed to consider it for a second. "Hell no!" he defiantly said. The paper covered his mouth again.
Konan groaned. Finding someone in the Village Hidden by the Leaves was a pain in the ass. There were too many people, too many patrols, and too many damned ways to get lost. It was a good thing she could fly.
Flying was awesome. Laughing at everyone on the ground made it so much better. It was probably how the Third Tsuchikage felt most of the time.
After all, who wouldn't want to fly?
"Fine! Stay here wrapped in extremely uncomfortable paper. I'm just going to go out and enjoy my natural flexibility that isn't restricted by anything," Konan said, her voice carrying some irritation.
The chūnin squirmed some more. The paper coffin he was encased in was indeed uncomfortable. Some of the paper was cutting into some rather precious parts of his body.
Konan slowly walked away from the man and began stretching. She was in her classy Akatsuki cloak, so you couldn't really see her natural curves.
After a moment the man began to thrash about. Konan turned to him with a malicious smirk on her face. "Well? Where is Uzumaki Naruo?" No response. The paper around the man's groin unwrapped before turning into sharp shuriken poised to strike.
"I'm going to ask again. If I don't get the answer I want, I'm sure your ancestors will be rolling in their graves." She let the threat hang in the air as the man's eyes widened comically.
He made some muffled sounds before Konan removed the paper over his mouth. "All right, all right!" the man screamed. "I'll tell you, just don't touch me like that!"
"Coming out of the closet, are you?" Konan quipped. Then she blinked at what she had just said. Maybe Naruto had rubbed off on her more than she thought... which was kind of weird, considering how they had spent only a few hours with each other.
It made no sense, but sense could wait in the ninja world. She was hunting a certain jinchūriki and she wasn't going to be quiet about it. You couldn't be quiet with a large set of angelic wings made out of paper anyway.
"He's in the village, probably on top of the Hokage monument!"
"And you're sure about this?"
"He goes there to meditate sometimes! It's well-known by most of the village!"
"Huh. Thanks," Konan replied. She made to turn around but then ran back to the chūnin and kicked him in his family's jewels. "That's what you get for being a traitorous asshole. You're lucky I'm not completely with Akatsuki's agenda."
She stopped for a moment and wondered why chūnin were so weak. Sure, she was an Akatsuki member, but so many chūnin didn't even deserve to be chūnin. Stop fixing your exams, villages. It makes you look bad in the end.
Konan shook her head and huffed before jumping into the air, manifesting her paper wings and flying towards the Hidden Leaf. Nagato would be attacking the village with his resurrected bodies of doom fairly soon.
Then she entered the magical bubble of sealing protection the Hidden Leaf used as an indicator for when someone is infiltrating the place. She was completely undetected because that damn thing never prevents anything to begin with.
She flew over to the Hokage monument, spying Naruto sitting on the Fourth Hokage's massive, stone head. He was exactly where the man said he would be.
Naruto's presence was most definitely not due to chance.
Konan touched down on the stone head, slightly behind Naruto, and folded her arms. "Well?" she prompted. "Are you going to sit in that faux-lotus position all day?"
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I'm trying to focus my natural-"
"You and I both know that you're already a Sage. Get over yourself," Konan said.
Naruto winced and then stood up before facing Konan with a grin on his face. "Should I be surprised that you managed to infiltrate this village?"
"I don't think you should."
"And why is that?"
"They're going to need to be focused to deal with Nagato," Konan explained.
Naruto's eyebrow twitched. That didn't really answer his question very well at all. "So then why are you here, Konan? I'm sure Nagato's right-hand woman would be noticed if she were missing."
"Well... I'm actually supposed to be finding you and telling him where you are, but that's not my goal."
"So you're abducting me for yourself and not for Nagato?" Naruto asked with no small amount of amusement.
The blue-haired Akatsuki member shrugged. "Pretty much."
Then she grabbed him, spread her paper wings, and went flying.
VvVvV
=Hidden Leaf D-Day=
Explosions and screams and death everywhere. Some shinobi were protecting civilians, while others were attempting to stop the ridiculous summons one of the Pain's bodies were sending out.
Most of them were probably dead bodies as well since they all had fancy-eyes and... chakra rods shoved through their skin. That looked very unpleasant, especially for the centipede summons.
The general consensus of the ninja fending off the summons was, to put it bluntly, annoying. It really is annoying having to avoid collateral damage when fighting gigantic, summoned animals of doom that are hell-bent on destroying everything around you.
That was Fuu's opinion, too. She was a jinchūriki and therefore, liked to have a lot of leeway to blast stuff apart. Sure she could spam Menacing Balls and obliterate everything in her path, but there were civilians running around.
Given her past, she wasn't about to leave some random child or person without a relative. That was just mean, not to mention hypocritical.
Naruto was the only exception to that rule.
One of the summons finally noticed Fuu throwing water jutsu after water jutsu at it and then turned to attack her. A sharp note hung in the air before the summon was forcibly dispelled.
Fuu turned to see Tayuya smirking at the spot where the summon was. "I love genjutsu. Force the thing to think it's not supposed to be here and bang! It's out," the redhead exclaimed.
And then a missile created an actual bang. Tayuya and Fuu were both blasted away and landed heavily on the ground. Tayuya groaned to herself as she raised her body. "Fuck. Who the hell sent out a massive ball of exploding tags?"
Fuu got to her feet and glared at the sight of two very special eyes... even though they were still eyes. "Tayuya, we got company!"
"What the fuck? Some more of those Rinney-gahn morons?"
The Asura Path said nothing, merely raising its arm, which broke apart into various pieces, and firing a missile. How it had a projectile-weapon such as that didn't need to be explained. Ninja's don't need to make sense.
Fuu manifested her chakra wings and beat them furiously, sending the missile of course and careening into a nearby building. "Oh, shoot. I hope no one was in there," Fuu muttered.
The Asura Path was propelled forward, the soles of its feet expelling chakra for a massive boost in speed. Its fist was raised, ready to knock Fuu out and take her back to the base for extraction...
Only Fuu was much stronger than he thought. Tough skin, strong body, and the ability to smash things up with a fist generally told opposition to stay away from the girl. It really shouldn't have come as a surprise when the Asura Path was overpowered and kicked away.
"Time for some illusions, mother-fucker!" Tayuya cried, bringing her flute up to her viciously smiling lips.
The Asura Path jumped away before she could do anything... and then the village asploded. Yes, asploded. That was what the villagers would call it since it was seemingly random in the way it was flattened.
VvVvV
"Dip, dive, duck, kick!" Karin screamed, watching as Guren avoided the attacks of the Human Path. Both kunoichi had seen the thing rip the soul out of a poor ninja and had no intention of having the same thing done to them.
It looked really creepy, too. Although, an S-rank missing-nin with what's assumed to be the most powerful eye technique in the Elemental Nations should be able to find out information without killing the person.
No need to leave dead bodies lying around everywhere. It would be a pain in the ass to clean up.
The crystal blade on Guren's arm was launched forward and impaled the Human Path... who simply got up, ripped the blade from its chest, and began attacking again. The bodies couldn't feel pain, so what were they supposed to do? Sit there? Hell no.
Then a gigantic crab rose out of the ground and punted Guren away. When she landed on the ground, she slowly rose up, groaning all the way. Sending a glare towards Karin, Guren got back into her stance, summoning an additional sheath of crystal to cover her arm.
"Err... sorry?" Karin offered, having not sensed the crab. It must have been a split-second summon or something... or the Rinnegan had more abilities that no one knew about.
That would've been obvious though. It was supposed to be the greatest of all the eye techniques. And yet, it couldn't summon some bullshit set of spiritual armor that defies all logic. Oh well.
"I'm just going to encase him in crystal," Guren muttered to herself. She said it quietly so that the resurrected bodies couldn't hear her, just in case they actually had the ability to hear.
Flipping through some seals, Guren summoned a giant wave of crystal that was meant to crush the body. It loomed over the Human Path ominously, threatening to bury him beneath tons of solid minerals...
Only it was stopped and sent blasting back at Guren by some unseen force. Who the hell blasted it away should be obvious.
Guren didn't have much chakra left to send the attack back and her jaw dropped as the thing approached. Karin was in danger too due to her proximity to the ex-Sound kunoichi.
Two blurs raced past and caught the kunoichi, taking them safely out of harm's way. Guren and Karin came up to see Hiruzen Sarutobi and Jiraiya carrying them out of range of the crushing attack.
Hiruzen set Karin down while Jiraiya ogled Guren's breasts. "Can you put a break on it?" Guren dryly asked. "We're kind of in the middle of a battle for your village."
Jiraiya shrugged. "Sorry. Force of habit."
"Where have you two been, anyway? I thought that you two would be defeating the threat," Karin asked.
"The safety of the people comes first. After all, a village without anyone in it isn't really a village, is it?" Hiruzen replied, grinning slightly. "But these bodies are still difficult. Luckily, Tsunade managed to get the civilians to safety, so the only ones out and about are the ninja. We're trying to stop the damage to the village, but..." Hiruzen trailed off.
"Pain in the ass, we get it," Guren said.
And then the village asploded, only this time it was from the perspective of Guren, Karin, Hiruzen, and Sarutobi.
VvVvV
=With Naruto=
"Nagato demolished it, eh?" The blond and his blue-haired companion watched as the massive dust cloud obscuring the Hidden Leaf dissipated, revealing a mess of dirt, rock, and other materials. It was all that remained of the Hidden Leaf.
Konan was busy straightening her hair. "Yes, he's achieved his vengeance. Which is quite silly, to be honest. Anyone with common sense would stop after the perpetrators were caught or killed."
Somewhere, a certain Uchiha sneezed as he pulled himself out of the rubble.
"What are you doing?"
"Going to fight him. I kind of have to, right?"
"Well," Konan said, "Don't kill him. He's still my best friend, even if he can be an ass sometimes."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll blow up his bodies and then talk to him using the power of spontaneous therapy."
"Please don't destroy the main body, by the way."
The blond stopped in mid-step and then wheeled around to face Konan. "What? Why? Can't I just incinerate them all? The Hidden Leaf is already pretty much a crater. I'm just going to blow him up with the help of-"
"The body is the body of our old friend, Yahiko, and it kind of means a lot to us," Konan explained, interrupting Naruto's tirade.
His jaw dropped. What? "Are you serious? Holy shit, I think that goes beyond an obsession," Naruto said incredulously. Then he shook his head. "Never mind, forget it. I'll keep the body alive for you. What about Nagato though? You told me his legs were fucked up?"
"Oh yes," Konan admitted, nodding her head. "I'm sure you can fix them, though."
"Fine, but if he does anything stupid I'm destroying him."
"I don't really doubt that," Konan dryly said, giving Naruto an amused look.
VvVvV
=The Crater That Was Once the Hidden Leaf=
Six resurrected bodies of doom faced Naruto before assembling into some formation the blond didn't care enough about to actually analyze. Next to Naruto was Fuu, who didn't have the restriction of not being able to blow stuff up.
Occasionally, Naruto would follow orders. He did so in this situation because Fuu still needed practice with blowing stuff up. All jinchūriki needed to have the ability to blow stuff up.
"Your deaths will bring peace, jinchūriki." the Deva Path said in a deep, monotonic voice.
"Oh yeah? Kiss my ass, you corpse-defiling asshole. The Tailed Beasts are more than simple weapons!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Yeah!" Fuu added, her voice laced with conviction. "Kurama-chan is a really good cook!"
"See? At least someone likes my cooking," Kurama rumbled within Naruto's mind. The blond rolled his eyes, not particularly wanting to bring that issue back for discussion.
The Deva Path stared at them. The two jinchūriki couldn't really tell if he was confused or annoyed because his expression didn't change. Naruto would admit that he had a damn good poker-face, however.
"It doesn't matter. Regardless of how you treat your Tailed Beast, your deaths will bring peace to the Elemental Nations. I will bring peace through pain!" The Deva Path intoned.
Once more, the Animal Path summoned his animals. The giant dividing dog and a bird with a drill-like beak came out to play again.
"Oh boy, this will be annoying," Naruto murmured. "Collaboration jutsu please?" he asked Fuu.
Fuu nodded and flipped through some seals, spitting out a large amount of fire from her mouth. Naruto fed the flames by blasting the jutsu with wind, turning it into a massive firestorm that seemed to rend the air apart. The temperature in the area quickly became too much for the two to bear and the two jinchūriki jumped away from the flames that continued to burn on top of the debris.
The flames were suddenly sucked into another Path. The Preta Path's barrier faded with the flames, revealing that while a large area had been scorched and torched to oblivion, Nagato's bodies were unharmed. The summons had been dispelled or perhaps incinerated, however.
And then the robotic one, the Asura Path, fired a series of missiles from its arms. Sometime after the village was flattened, it had reloaded its weapons.
"Earth Release, Naruto!" Fuu yelled out. Her blond companion nodded and both ran through the same seals while pumping a ridiculous amount of chakra into their jutsu.
A wide, solid wall of earth rose from the ground and shielded the two jinchūriki from harm. Naruto was just going through the motions, but again, Fuu needed more practice.
The missiles impacted the wall, but it held firm. Fuu put her hands together in a ram seal, sending the wall of earth flying forward.
It was split in half and the pieces sent flying to the sides by the Deva Path. "You know, I've been wondering... where the hell is the Hokage, the perverted sage, and the old hag?" Naruto asked, using his monikers for Jiraiya and Tsunade respectively.
"Tsunade used some jutsu to save many people from death and it caused her to fall into a coma," Fuu explained. "The Hokage and Jiraiya were swept away by the attack. I don't know if they're all right..."
Naruto frowned. He'd have to bring them back to life after the battle, as well as magically heal Tsunade.
"Fuu, blow them up please. No need for dramatic revelations that won't be revisited here."
Fuu gave Naruto an odd look before drawing on Choumei's chakra. She quickly entered her Version 2 state and her body was covered in a cloak of destructive chakra. She was in complete control, however, so no unnecessary berserker-mode destroyer attacks.
"Shinra Ten-"
"Nope!" Naruto yelled, craning his head up and disrupting the attack by using his own repulsion jutsu. Fuu finished drawing energy into her Menacing Ball, and then fired.
There was a large explosion and then all of the resurrected corpses were obliterated in an anti-climactic fashion. Except for Yahiko's body, of course. That was preserved somehow and any questioning of that preservation isn't necessary.
You can't say that you expected some awesome, intense battle. It's Naruto and a girl who has near-complete control over her Tailed Beast forms.
Fuu reverted back to her normal state and swayed on her feet. She was steadied by Naruto, who grinned at her victory. "Nice going. You made the crater somewhat larger, but nice going."
The female jinchūriki returned his grin. "Thanks, Whiskers."
Naruto groaned. "Whatever. I have to go find this idiot's real body and then use my therapy jutsu to make him a good guy."
"I would say good luck, but you don't really need it."
Naruto nodded and then vanished in a burst of pure speed.
VvVvV
=Paper Tree=
Naruto looked up at the massive, paper tree. "Huh, this is kind of neat. Puts a whole new spin on the 'Going Green' thing. I wonder how much recycling she had to do..." The blond shook his head free of those random thoughts and entered the paper construct.
The emaciated body of the redheaded Nagato glared at the blond. Konan was right by his head, appearing unsure of what to do. At least Nagato hadn't hurt himself by wasting so much chakra.
There was a bang and the machine Nagato was sitting on sent a large chakra rod at Naruto. It shattered upon impact with the blond's body. "Really? You're really going to do the whole last-ditch thing? You can't even move."
"Are you going to kill me?" Nagato asked, ignoring the blond's comment. "If I die, you are only perpetuating the cycle of hatred."
"Yeah, let's get a dose of reality here. Who the fuck gives two shits about you besides Konan over here, who I'm fooling around with?" Naruto blinked. "I wasn't supposed to say that."
Nagato scowled at the blond. "You will still be perpetuating the cycle of hatred."
"You just flattened an entire village and killed a large amount of people!" Naruto exclaimed indignantly. "Seriously, you're being a hypocrite. Can't we all be friends?"
"What would this accomplish?"
"Oh... peace in the Elemental Nations, less death, strife, and all-around pain... I'll forgive you if you forgive the Hidden Leaf for accidentally killing your parents."
"Jiraiya-sensei told you, didn't he?"
"Oh yes," Naruto admitted, nodding to himself. "Now, can we please act civil instead of like stuck-up brats who only want stuff for themselves?"
"What about my plan to bring peace through pain? My super-weapon will destroy people and it will-"
"No. That's not how peace works, Nagato-chan," Naruto slowly said, as if he was talking to a toddler. "Whoever gave you that idea is a moron. What will happen is a lot of death and destruction and then our state of living will go down. Nations will enter a depression since so many are dead and people will be unhappy.
"No money will be generated and people will become wary of each other. No one's going to live in fear of a super-weapon; they're all going to try to either take it for themselves or destroy it. And when that happens, more and more destruction will be sown until we're all dead. Something along those lines," Naruto finished.
Nagato stared at him for a moment. "If I forgive you, will you resurrect everyone?" Naruto asked.
"What?"
"It's more of a demand, so resurrect everyone with your fancy super-eyes. I can do it too since I'm the actual second Sage of the Six Paths, so..." Naruto trailed off.
"What the hell are you saying?" Nagato asked, raising an eyebrow. It felt as if the blond was just blabbering incoherently.
Naruto sighed. "Long-story short... I'm from an alternate timeline and I can do whatever I want because I'm the second Sage of the Six Paths. I came here by accident by summoning the Death God, which jinchūriki are not supposed to do, and ended up messing with everything."
Nagato looked down to Konan, who nodded. "Fine, I'll forgive the Hidden Leaf... on one condition."
"Name it."
"Fix my legs. For the love of me, I want to walk again."
"That can be arranged..."
VvVvV
=Hidden Leaf=
"I still can't believe you managed to do that," Jiraiya said, smirking at his godson. "Resurrecting us all, keeping him alive, and converting him to your side?"
"I'm just that amazing," Naruto said, folding his arms and grinning up at his godfather. "Want to know what else is awesome? Fuu-chan's Tailed Beast Bomb blew up Danzo and the two other advisers. Who knew they were hiding directly below everyone else?"
Jiraiya guffawed. "I owe you and the green-haired brat some beers, brat. Plus, I've got my two students being Leaf ninja, hilariously enough. It's a shame about Yahiko though."
"Yahiko was an asshole in my timeline."
"Really?" Jiraiya asked, interested.
"Yeah. Konan died, Yahiko got a god complex, and Nagato ended up domineering everything. I'm sure I'm contradicting my behavior and answers from earlier on, but my excuse is that I was keeping some information hidden."
"Good excuse," Jiraiya deadpanned, sitting down on the stool of the reconstructed Ichiraku Ramen stand. "By the way, the Kage are calling for a summit. We're kind of out of one since the old man's decided to step down."
"Seriously?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow.
Jiraiya nodded and ordered some ramen for him and Naruto. "Most people are actually asking for you to become Hokage. Kind of ironic isn't it?"
Naruto's forehead met the wooden counter of the ramen stand. "Fuck! I didn't want this!"
Jiraiya shrugged. "Oh well. Tsunade and I sure as hell don't want it."
"Fuck you both!"