Chapter Twenty-Two: Shinobi Zombies
=Turtle Island=
The entire island was shaking. Many of the animals on the island had scurried into caverns that were deemed safe as the land began to slant up at an angle.
That particular action wasn't really annoying, but its consequences would be. If an essentially mobile landmass flipped over, there would be trouble.
It was a good thing the turtle was rather far from the mainland.
"Is this thing going to capsize?" Naruto shouted, his rigid body tilting at the same angle the land was at. Ah, the beauty of chakra. Adhesive feet were very useful.
"Hell no, fool!" Bee loudly replied. "This thing's buoyancy is a great tool!"
"I think the question you should be asking is why this thing is beginning to flip over!" Jiraiya said. The perverted sage began to run up the inclined land in an effort to not be crushed by the giant turtle when it completely turned over.
"You're working too hard," Fuu called out. "Work smarter, not harder!" The green-haired girl formed a familiar cross-fingered handseal. Three solid clones popped up, each donning three pairs of glowing green wings. "Hang on!" Fuu cried.
Each Fuu grabbed someone and flew up. They ended up leaving a rather indignant Jiraiya behind. The man pouted and began running at a breakneck pace up the rapidly flipping island.
Flying was much faster than running, however, and Jiraiya reached the four jinchūriki last. When the older man reached the edge of the turtle, it had begun completing its circuit. It only took a few seconds for the turtle to hit the ocean with its back, causing a massive spray of water to rise up from the water.
Naruto scanned the smooth, hard surface of the turtle's shell, looking for any disturbances. "What the hell caused this thing to turn around?" the blond asked. "It doesn't seem like this thing should be able to do that just to scratch some random itch."
"We're probably under attack," Yugito murmured, her eyes narrowing. "How did the enemy find this location? There's just three members of Akatsuki remaining..." She, along with the others, stared at Naruto meaningfully.
Said jinchūriki frowned. "I'm not sure. Kisame might have obtained the information from someone. Did we ever kill him?"
"I don't remember anything like that," Jiraiya said, rubbing his chin. Then he grinned at his godson. "Whenever you kill or convert an Akatsuki member you always brag about it. I haven't heard your annoying voice say anything about him yet, so it's safe to assume he's still alive."
Naruto nodded before punching his godfather in the arm. "That's for being a dick. My voice isn't annoying, man. At least I don't run around screaming about friends like an idealistic child no one wants to slap some sense into. What do you take me for, someone who doesn't want to face reality?"
Fuu gave him an odd stare. "Where did that come from?" she asked.
Naruto shrugged and then winced as a gurgling roar was emitted by the turtle. Something was definitely hurting it.
"What are you four doing up here? You should be hiding!" Yamato yelled, running up to them with an exasperated expression on his face.
"We're not about to sit around and watch shinobi throw their bodies into a meat grinder just so we won't be captured. We're strong in our own right. Besides, just what can Akatsuki come up with if most shinobi are fighting with us?" Yugito declared, glaring at the Wood Release-user.
A flapping noise reached Naruto's ears and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. Clones shot out of his body and grabbed everyone around him, forcing them away from the immediate vicinity.
There was a flash and a rolling bubble of heat, causing the turtle's shell to shake. There was a loud, irritated grunt from above that drew everyone's attention skyward.
"What the hell? Resurrection techniques again? I thought it was supposed to be a one-time thing." In the sky was an apparently healthy-looking Deidara on a clay owl. A hooded, robed figure was seated behind him.
The bird suddenly swerved to avoid a blast of fire from a floating Kurotsuchi. The hooded figure also jumped off in order to confront them... but Naruto wasn't paying attention to that. He was suddenly in the air, hanging on the increasingly flustered granddaughter of the Tsuchikage. She shoved him away with a grunt, sending him careening towards the island.
Naruto actually landed on the hooded figure, who was rushing towards Yamato and Jiraiya, both of which were beginning to weave handseals. The hooded figure groaned as Naruto jumped off of him and dusted himself off. "Sorry about that, creepy hooded dude. That wasn't my fault. Now, it's time to unmask the villain..."
Jiraiya shook his head and groaned loudly.
Naruto grabbed the hem of the hood and pulled. A pale, scaled face was revealed to the world. Jiraiya blanched at the visage. "Hey brat, this is Kabuto... what the hell happened to him? Did you take a bunch of snakeskin and glue it to your face or something?"
Yamato tilted his head. "He must be wearing some sort of contact lenses as well. I knew Orochimaru liked snakes, but Kabuto too?"
"He's probably going that far in order to please his dead master," Naruto chimed in, staring down at the glaring Kabuto.
There was a rush and Kabuto wriggled out of his robes, transforming into a snake and grabbing Yamato.
Well, he would have, had Naruto not put a boot seal on him. Deidara vanished shortly afterward, being forced to retreat to where his master was due to the way the resurrection jutsu worked.
"A boot seal? Where the hell did you send him?" Jiraiya asked, raising an eyebrow.
Naruto shrugged. "I sent him back to his original position several hours ago. I bet he's pissed off right now."
Yamato snorted. "I'd say..."
Elsewhere, Kabuto growled to himself. Tobi would let him remain in Akatsuki since he artificially gave the guy a Rinnegan eye, but it was still annoying that he had failed to obtain Yamato.
"I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling jinchūriki!"
VvVvV
=Sometime Later, Surprise Attack Division=
"I love your needles. Have I told you that? I think I have, but let me just say it again-"
Haku growled to herself. "Kankuro, please be quiet. It helps to quiet down in an ambush squad," she hissed.
The puppet-user blushed in embarrassment and rubbed his head sheepishly. They had already wrecked Akatsuki's own surprise corps. A resurrected Sasori, Deidara, and two random Leaf ninja neither of them had ever seen before were quickly dispatched thanks to the skills of Haku and Pakura.
Hanzo of the Salamander had been dispatched by Mifune with help from Yugito, who had arrived just in time to prevent the resurrected ninja from ripping the samurai leader to shreds.
She was very annoyed when everyone yelled at her for appearing without preamble. She was, after all, supposed to be in hiding... even if that was a blow to her pride as a ninja.
Pakura walked up to them and grunted. "I think we're done here. I find it strange that Sasori gave you his old puppets. At least he re-died happy." Well, as happy as a puppet can be. Technically, he was a puppet.
Haku snorted and the Surprise Attack Division went onward to help out the Third Division, or the Short and Mid-Range Battle Division. They had been attacked by the resurrected Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, one of which struck a pang in Haku's chest.
VvVvV
=With the Third Division=
Kakashi had had enough of misty battlefields. In fact, he had had enough after fighting Zabuza. Or rather, almost fighting Zabuza. Naruto kind of laughed off everything even then when his body wasn't quite ready to obliterate everything.
Oh, how he would love Naruto's ability to obliterate stuff at will. In Kakashi's current situation, it would've been very helpful.
The man with gravity-defying hair avoided another slash from Zabuza's sword and backed up, ignoring the screams of his allies. He knew from experience that sharp, pointy swords were painful.
Having more than one sharp, pointy sword in the vicinity even moreso.
Although, Kakashi was confused as to how Zabuza got his sword. The sword was supposed to be in Kirigakure last time he checked. How the hell did it get back into Zabuza's hands? Wasn't it under lock and key?
The mist was suddenly dispersed and an angry Haku was in front of Kakashi. "Zabuza! What are you doing?" she cried, scowling at her former master.
The zombie Zabuza simply rushed forward in an attempt to bisect his former charge. Kakashi barely managed to grab Haku and jump out of the way. "Be careful!" Kakashi warned. "His personality was eradicated. All of the former Seven Swordsmen of the Mist are being completely controlled by someone."
Haku frowned, but her features took on a determined look as she prepared herself to stop her former mentor from killing more of her allies. He had given her yet another chance at life and she wasn't about to let him run around as a zombie without any free will.
That would just be mean to a man who had loved the freedom of being a missing-nin.
Zabuza suddenly flew through handseals, causing a geyser to rocket up from the ground and head towards Kakashi. It never reached its target as it was frozen solid and sent flying back towards Zabuza. As if it was still a liquid, the ice writhed and wrapped around the former swordsman.
Kakashi took the opportunity to seal the man away.
Soon after, there were victorious cries from various areas as backup began to arrive. The removal of the mist had helped everyone out, enabling the rest of the swordsmen to be completely sealed away.
Pakura pretty much desiccated them all. Resurrecting body parts didn't help much when the body temperature was too high to move properly. All of them ended up as puddles of ash until they were sealed thanks to the Sand kunoichi's efforts.
Yugito's fireballs contributed too. The heat was kind of unpleasant, however.
"Okay, scratch that," a voice said. Haku groaned to herself as Kankuro's grating voice rose above the cheering, "I like those high-temperature fireballs more than Haku's ice-cold needles."
"You know, I was the one who removed the mist and actually turned the tide of this battle," Haku growled out with a tinge of annoyance.
"Jealous?" Pakura quipped, grinning at the Ice Release-user and causing Yugito to chuckle lightly.
Haku's only response was to shove a rude hand gesture in Pakura's face before walking away.
VvVvV
=With the Fifth Division=
A bead of sweat ran down Hana Inuzuka's face. Her teeth were grit and the Haimaru Brothers were growling. Ino had a scowl on her face and Kiba was snarling at his opponent. Shino's face was expressionless, but his body was tense.
They couldn't defeat Kimimaro and Chiyo was too dangerous to approach with two random ninja bodies being animated by her chakra strings.
The Inuzuka attempting to subdue Kimimaro was akin to trying to scratch steel with a dull sword. His bone armor was too dense to pierce and even if their claws could do so, the Impure World Resurrection's properties would enable the Kaguya to regenerate over and over again.
Chiyo was dangerous too, but slightly less so. She had no poison to use, nor any sort of armor, but she could still regenerate. Her ability to manipulate puppets, whether they were alive or not, was nothing to scoff at either.
Ino was very apprehensive about using her family's jutsu as well. According to intelligence relayed from her dad, the ringleader of the reanimated ninja could eradicate their personality and turn them into mindless fighting machines. She had no intention of being within their minds if that particular ability was activated.
Chiyo sighed to herself unhappily. "Of course, I die in a meaningful sacrifice and I'm brought back to life to kill people. Why can't we old people just stay dead?"
"I'm actually enjoying this," Kimimaro commented. "No sickness, no coughing, unlimited chakra... It actually feels quite nice."
"Yeah, until your free will is removed," Chiyo snapped. "You youngsters always use forbidden jutsu without giving a damn about the consequences."
"This isn't our fault!" Kiba cried indignantly.
Chiyo shrugged. "Meh, you're all young to me."
"Huh, you brats need some help?"
The small group of ninja from the Fifth Division stiffened as the odd, rumbling voice of Kakuzu reached them.
"K-Kakuzu?" Ino stuttered, staring fearfully at the ancient, active ninja.
The missing-nin from Waterfall shrugged. "Eh, I figured I might as well help you all fight zombies too. The more the merrier, right?"
Chiyo groaned. "Another one? Why can't you youngsters just grab a seal master and lock us away?"
Kakuzu glared at the woman, although it was difficult to see due to his mask. "Bitch, I was old when you were scraping shit off of the Hidden Sand's sidewalks!"
Kakuzu's back bulged and his masks quickly extracted themselves from his body. Each mask-thread-body-thing took on an odd form before shaking slightly and emitting an odd, rattling sound.
One of the masks was in the form of a bull. Another was in the form of something that was tall and vaguely humanoid. Another mask had a long body made up of thick threads. The final mask resembled a sort of fish, only it was using black thread to keep itself from completely contacting the ground.
"I still find that creepy," Kiba muttered. Akamaru barked his assent.
And then the masks all sent out a volley of jutsu. A dome of earth quickly rose up from the ground and prevented Chiyo or Kimimaro from escaping. Two masks combined their natures and released a combination of Fire Release and Wind Release jutsu, super-heating the inside of the dome to extremely high temperatures.
The fish-like thread monster sent out a large volume of water that quickly cooled the area down. Strong as the regenerating zombies were, extreme temperature fluctuations still had a decent effect on them.
Black threads quickly finished the job, rendering Lady Chiyo and Kimimaro sealed and removed from the battlefield.
"Huh, that wasn't so hard. You brats are getting weaker everyday," the man nonchalantly said as his masks reintegrated with his body.
Ino, Kiba, Hana, and Shino were too disgusted to make a retort.
VvVvV
=With the First Division=
The First Division had been easily dispatching most of their enemies, Zetsu and reanimated ninja alike.
Using certain ninja meant to prey on the emotions of Akatsuki's enemies would have been useful, but most ninja had already known about that, courtesy of the Intelligence Division.
Hiashi Hyuuga had soundly defeated his brother with the help of several other shinobi. A large majority had been defeated by the Third Hokage, who was made of tougher stuff, while Tsunade had defeated her deceased lover handily.
It was still emotionally draining for some, but the battle had been won with minimal casualties.
"Look sharp!" Darui called out. "These two guys over here are the famed Gold and Silver Brothers!"
Straight out of a history book were Ginkaku and Kinkaku, two Cloud ninja who had betrayed their country in an attempted coup against the Second Raikage and the Second Hokage.
What made that worse was that it was during peace talks as well. Oh well, it wasn't like there was any honor among shinobi.
Hiruzen grunted at the appearance of the legendary criminals. "Ginkaku and Kinkaku, the traitors of the Village Hidden in the Clouds, not to mention once-wanted for the attempted assassination of the Second Hokage."
Tsunade peered at the odd assortment of tools they were holding. "What are those two holding?" she asked.
Atsui and Samui, who were nearby, listened carefully to the Third Hokage's explanation. "Those are the rumored Treasured Tools of the ancient sage. They're all powerful in their own right and were possibly used by the Sage of the Six Paths himself."
"You got that right, old man," Ginkaku said, sneering at the contingent of ninja in front of him.
"What's going on here? Cloud working with the scum of the Leaf? What the hell has this world come to?" his brother asked.
"We might as well show them the error of their ways, eh Kinkaku?" the other one mused. In response, Kinkaku smirked.
Hiruzen sighed to himself. Fuck wars. He hated fighting insolent little upstarts, whether they were reincarnated or not. "Tsunade, Darui, with me. Everyone, be careful with the tools! Don't come into contact with the rope!"
The Third quickly explained the properties of the five tools while casually firing a barrage of fire and water jutsu at the Gold and Silver Brothers. There was a damned reason why he was known as the 'God of Ninja' and he was making sure the two brothers knew it.
"Well damn," Tsunade remarked. "This is going to be annoying. We can't say our favorite words if that rope hits us or we're going to be sucked into that pot."
"We'll deal some damage to you punks," Ginkaku declared, grinning evilly at the group of ninja. His brother swung the Banana Palm Fan once he had evaded the last of Hiruzen's jutsu, sending a large, roaring wall of fire at their enemies.
It was quenched by an even larger wave of water that Darui electrocuted, but the two brothers managed to evade the attacks.
"Hey, it's that pot and gourd!"
Everyone turned to the new voice and saw a stunningly beautiful redheaded woman with slitted, crimson eyes and a rather generous bosom. She was pointing at the two brothers, both of which looked very confused. "Err... who is she?" Ginkaku asked.
"No idea. She just popped out of thin air. I didn't see her before," Kinkaku replied.
Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Kurama, you're not supposed to be here..."
"Sorry, sorry!" the humanized Kyuubi said, not sounding very apologetic at all. "I felt some of my chakra and Naruto let me come to investigate... and I see these two idiots. Damn, you two tasted like sweat. That was disgusting!" She shuddered briefly.
"As interesting to know as that is, we have to deal with these two," Darui explained.
"Be careful," Hiruzen warned. "Those tools-"
He was interrupted by a loud snort from Kurama, who then broke down laughing. "You're kidding me, right? I was raised by the old sage! He used to feed the Tailed Beasts with those things!"
Everyone started at that bit of information. It was pretty random. The Sage of the Six Paths fed the Tailed Beasts using those tools? Why were they so feared, then?
Seeing everyone's questioning look (including the Gold and Silver Brothers'), Kurama elaborated. "The rope grabs chakra, the sword splits it into physical and spiritual halves, each of which go into the pot and gourd, respectively." She said it like it wasn't a big deal at all.
"What about the fan?" Kinkaku asked, finding the bit of odd information to be rather intriguing.
"Fan was used to heat stuff, cool it down, or stop the weather from annoying us. Babies are pretty grouchy and uncomfortable most of the time, you know?"
Quite a few of the ninja on the battlefield, in fact, did not know. Hiruzen however, did, and gave an affirmative grunt.
"Oh, and I want my chakra back, please!" Kurama chirped. Her form was quickly wrapped in what could be interpreted as evil, disgusting-feeling chakra, and the Tailed Beast rushed forward in a flash of glowing red chakra.
A set of claws pierced Ginkaku first, sucking away the demonic chakra integrated within the man before a series of chakra appendages snatched up the tools from him.
Kinkaku attempted to resist, but trying to use the chakra of a Tailed Beast against itself was a bad idea. Kurama took her chakra back from the other brother as well before sealing them away in the pot.
"This feels too easy," Hiruzen remarked, watching as Kurama gave the allies a bow before vanishing in a puff of red smoke.
"Eh, you take what you can get," Tsunade said.
VvVvV
=With the Fourth Division=
"This is so troublesome," Shikamaru groaned out, watching as Gaara, a newly-arrived Jiraiya, and Onoki, amongst other allied ninja, fought four resurrected Kage.
Temari growled to herself as she tensed her body. "How the hell did this guy even get the DNA of those Kage? Some of them have been dead for a while!"
"Hair, maybe bone?" Chouji offered tersely, watching as the resurrected Raikage suddenly veered away from an attacking Jiraiya and sped towards the defending ninjas.
"We're so fucked." Tayuya, who was nearby, couldn't really do anything as the Third Raikage sped towards her. There were too many people around her to utilize her more powerful illusions. Why couldn't everyone around her have been deaf? It would've shut the Nara up, at least.
Actually, he probably would've found a way to loudly complain with sign language.
A wall of earth rose up from the ground, followed by a shining sheet of crystal. Too bad the Third Raikage's fingers were powerful enough to pierce the defensive block.
Ordinarily, innuendos would've been spouted, but the situation was too dire for that sort of thing.
The wall exploded, resulting in many ninja being sent flying off of their feet. The Third Raikage stared impassively at his enemies. "Like I said, we're fucked..." Tayuya gritted out, pushing herself off of the ground and dusting her body off. She was covered in cuts and scrapes, but was otherwise fine. Most of the other ninja were fine too, except for the ones who had been in the immediate vicinity of the defensive wall.
"Oh no, I'm not doing that to everyone here," someone said.
"Naruto!" Tayuya blurted, her eyes wide in surprise. The blond approached her with one of his infuriating grins.
He winced as Tayuya slugged him in the arm. "Hey! What was that for?" he indignantly said.
"You shithead! We're fighting here to protect you and the other fucking jinchūriki and then you end up coming here anyway?"
Naruto pouted petulantly. "I thought you guys would like the help... I see Gaara's got the Kazekage down, but the Raikage, Mizukage, and that other Tsuchikage seem to be annoying you guys."
"Yes, they're annoying us," Temari dryly said. "If you count 'repeatedly killing countless ninja' as annoying us, then yes, they most definitely are annoying us."
Naruto shrugged. "Might as well help you all out. The other jinchūriki are running with clones to help out anyone who needs help."
"I'm surprised your real self is here," Tayuya remarked.
Naruto shrugged in reply. The other jinchūriki had his father's three-pronged kunai with them. If they needed help, he'd be there in a flash.
Although, he felt as if it would be an insult to some of the kunoichi if he saved them over and over again... He was sure some of them wanted to use their own skills.
The Third Raikage interrupted their conversation, causing Tayuya and Temari to jump back in preparation for an attack. Shikamaru tried to restrain the burly man with his shadow, but it proved futile due to the Third Raikage's immense strength.
So Naruto punched him. The man was sent flying backward into the air, where a clone of the blond jinchūriki formed and kicked down into the ground. "I love Sage Mode so much," Naruto said, grinning widely.
"Be careful! None of our attacks can pierce his skin!" Shikamaru warned.
In his nonchalant manner, Naruto scoffed. "As fun as it is fighting Kage-level shinobi over and over again, the reason why no one could punch through his armor was because no one had a powerful enough Lightning Release technique. Thank you Bee, for that piece of information."
A loud, screeching noise emanated from Naruto's right hand, signaling the creation of a Rasengan. Electricity began to course through it as Naruto turned the attack into a spiraling drill rather than a sphere. A golden cloak surrounded his body and he vanished, appearing right in front of the surprised Raikage.
The drill pierced the man's Lightning Armor, as well as his skin. Naruto used his free hand to form one-handed seals and cover the man in thick ice. With a grunt, the Third Raikage was sealed away.
"You know, at this point, what exactly is your definition of 'challenge', Naruto?" Shikamaru tiredly asked.
"Tailed Beasts. Maybe even Nagato if he hadn't ever been crippled. I kind of passed the point of no return ages ago. I'm not quite so sure myself, to be honest." The blond scratched his head sheepishly.
A large explosion caused everyone to cringe. The Second Mizukage had used some sort of clone to set off a series of repeating explosions. Naruto exchanged a significant glance with Tayuya, who merely muttered under her breath as the blond vanished in a burst of speed.
In the rocky battlefield, Gaara was struggling to contain the Second Mizukage's continuous explosions. They were incredibly difficult to constantly defend against and the death toll was beginning to rise. "Naruto!" Gaara yelled as the blond appeared next to him on the sandy ground, "Why are you-"
"I wanted to help, blah blah blah," Naruto interrupted, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, why does everyone ask that? I'm the god damned Hokage! Did you seriously expect me to just let everyone kill themselves over an issue that I could easily solve?"
Gaara shook his head in irritation, gritting his teeth as another explosion ripped through the landscape. "This guy uses oil to heat up the water in the clone's body! Once the pressure reaches a dangerous point, the clone explodes and then returns to its normal size to begin the process again!"
"So then find a way to cool him down," Naruto suggested.
"Actually," Onoki said, panting slightly as he dropped down next to the two ninja, "We were hoping you could contain the explosions."
"I can try," Naruto slowly said. Gaara and Onoki stared at each other before bursting out into laughter. "Hey! I'm serious! Pressurized explosions are difficult to stop!"
"You say that cooling the water down will stop it from turning into steam and causing a pressurized explosion? You have Ice Release..."
"Aren't older people supposed to take care of younger people?" Naruto muttered. He clapped his hands together and forced his chakra into the air.
Through sheer force of will, the immense amount of chakra he had jettisoned into the air was converted into a massive amount of water molecules. It garnered attention from most of the ninja, as well as the resurrected Muu and Second Mizukage.
"I know there's a really bad pun regarding temperature here," Naruto began, "But I'd rather you just stop exploding. That's not cool."
The water molecules were bonded to the Mizukage's clone and their kinetic energy was reduced, resulting in the pressurized clone failing to explode. With the coast clear for the moment, Gaara was finally able to shower the Mizukage with sand.
"One more left," Naruto declared, peering around the battlefield.
Jiraiya, who had just landed next to Naruto after jumping away from his previous position, frowned. "Muu was sealed away. Who else is remaining? All we saw were the four resurrected Kage. They were a pain in the ass to fight, by the way."
Naruto stiffened as another chakra signature made itself known, his bar-pupil-eyes narrowing. "What the...? I think Muu just reverse summoned something. We didn't completely seal him away. Look up there." The blond pointed up to a nearby hill.
Muu popped out, appearing smug despite the amount of bandages obscuring his expression. He was followed by a man with long, black hair...
"I don't believe it..." Onoki said in a strangled whisper.
"I have no idea who that is," Naruto whispered back. "He looks like an Uchiha since they all have black hair like that, but that armor looks really old fashioned."
"You idiot!" Jiraiya growled. "That's Madara Uchiha! He's the damned boogeyman of the Leaf! Damn, why didn't I stay with the Mizukage?"
There was a snap. "I knew I was forgetting someone important." Then he swore. "I owe Kurama some chocolate now." Naruto sighed to himself.
Sometimes he had the worst luck ever. That wasn't fair! It wasn't his fault Kurama had fought Madara before! Naruto hadn't ever encountered the man...
"Well, I guess you were right Naruto," Gaara said in a monotone voice. "Tobi wasn't Madara after all."
The Madara glared balefully over the shinobi. "I'm surprised the nations are fighting alongside each other instead of against each other. Regardless, humanity will benefit from sleeping under an infinite Tsukuyomi."
Madara flipped through some seals and slammed his hands into the ground. Every ninja in the battlefield tensed... except for Naruto...
And then nothing happened.
Madara nodded as Muu muttered something in his ear. "So the Kyuubi is sealed inside you," he said to Naruto.
The blond shook his head. "Actually, she's not with me at the moment." In a manner of speaking, of course.
The Uchiha blinked and then furrowed his brow. "How does that work? I have a summoning contract with the Kyuubi... unless it was already sealed by the statue?"
"Nope. You're summoning the wrong Kyuubi," the blond replied.
The Uchiha's almost impassive facade broke down and he rubbed the back of his head confusedly. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about anymore. The Kyuubi isn't sealed in you, nor is it sealed in the statue..."
"I told you, wrong Kyuubi."
"There's only one Kyuubi!" Madara exclaimed, showing more emotion than he was supposed to. Muu was just looking at him with an amused expression... not that anyone could see it.
"True," Naruto agreed, "But due to a technicality, the one you have a contract with isn't here. The one that is here is currently asleep after gorging on... food that she wasn't supposed to eat."
The traitorous Uchiha was very befuddled. Wait, she? The Kyuubi had a gender? How the hell could a mass of sentient chakra have a gender? "You know what, I think I'll just start attacking," Madara said.
"Suit yourself," Naruto replied, not really caring nor knowing just how powerful this incarnation of Madara truly was.
Madara Uchiha began to flip through handseals as the sun sank behind him.
VvVvV
=With the Second Division=
The army of white Zetsu had been successfully destroyed and the reincarnated ninja sealed away for good. Sure, many nameless, unnecessary, and ultimately forgetful ninja died, but at least the worst had passed.
They weren't doing too badly and as night fell, many ninja wanted to rest their weary bodies and restock their weapons. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen because Tobi didn't want the Allied Shinobi Forces to grow strong enough to seek him out. He still needed the four remaining Tailed Beasts, after all.
So that's why he appeared in the middle of the Second Division's camp, surprising every ninja in the vicinity. He clapped his hands together and yelled out, "I choose you, Demonic Statue of the Outer Path!"
A giant, twisted-looking statue spontaneously appeared before its summoner vanished in a vortex of chakra amid frightened screams. Immediately, the statue began stomping about, crushing and destroying anyone and anything within its walking distance.
Kitsuchi used a jutsu that caused two building-sized slabs of earth to rise from the ground and slam into the statue, one slab coming in from the right and the other rising from the left. The technique was handily stopped by... the statue's arms. Sorry, no lasers or explosions, and definitely no fancy jutsu.
Brute strength works too, even if it was boring most of the time.
The statue was about to stop on an injured Karui before a large ball of tightly condensed, black chakra smacked into it. The attack forced the statue backward and, once it was a safe distance away, exploded viciously, bathing its surroundings in light.
Karui, along with Hinata, who was helping her up, gaped at the brilliant, miniature sun in front of them. The somehow pained roaring of the statue was kind of distracting, but they backed away nonetheless.
"Look over there!" a nameless ninja said.
A giant beetle with three pairs of buzzing wings and a long, whip-like tail fired another condensed, boiling ball of doom at the somehow enraged statue. This time, the resulting explosion dispelled the thing, sending it back to wherever Tobi had summoned it from.
The Nanabi lost its form and Fuu appeared, panting slightly from the exertion of maintaining her Tailed Beast Mode. It was only her one of her first few times using it, so she couldn't use it as long as her fellow jinchūriki could.
After some more nonsensical whining about how Fuu should've been hiding out (it was really getting annoying), the ninja accepted her presence and graciously thanked her for smiting that evil statue of doom.
"Where's Naruto, by the way?" Karui asked.
"He's..." Fuu stopped and frowned. "I think he went to help out Gaara and the pervert."
"What about the other jinchūriki?" Kurotsuchi asked, joining the conversation.
"Yugito and Naruto went to help out the other Divisions while Bee's heading to where Tobi is supposed to be hiding," the green-haired jinchūriki explained.
"Is that really a good idea?" Karui deadpanned, giving Fuu a dry look. Bee-sensei could be a complete idiot at times, not to mention he had the ridiculous habit of not taking anything seriously at all.
"We have Flying Thunder God kunai with us, so if there's any trouble Naruto can help."
Kurotsuchi was about to respond, when a commotion broke out nearby. Apparently one of the allied shinobi was attacking another shinobi, much to everyone's confusion.
When the attacker was killed in retaliation, everyone found that his body had turned into a strange white substance with a bark-like texture.
"So... does this mean we should get Naruto to help us?" The sun was sinking and Fuu had no desire to be attacked while trying to sleep.
Neji being unable to reach Hinata as three allied shinobi swung at her with swords made the decision for them.
VvVvV
=With Sasuke, Itachi, and Konan=
"So you're saying that Kabuto is near here?" Sasuke asked, gesturing over to a mountain of nearby rock.
Itachi scanned the area with his Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan before nodding slightly. "I can confirm that there are chakra traces around this area."
Konan's body was made up of shifting paper just in case there was an attack. Even if there wasn't an ambush, having control over exploding tags helped. Whoever said being a lover of flashy explosions was limited to just males? "Do you need help getting inside?"
Sasuke shook his head, flashing the blue-haired kunoichi a smile. It faltered when she didn't return it. She was still somewhat frigid to most people. "Don't worry. Our eyes can do the trick. After all, what other family has such an overpowered bloodline? And don't say Rinnegan. That's just Nagato."
Itachi rolled his eyes. "Come on, little brother. Blow up the little wall so we can get on with our little assassination and kill little Kabuto."
The younger Uchiha glared at the older one for a moment before saluting Konan and activating his own eyes. Konan's body broke apart into countless pieces of paper, all of which were scattered by the wind, signaling her complete departure.
She returned to where the Intelligence Division was situated, which was where Nagato and some other ninja were currently at.
The skeletal, ethereal armor of Susanoo appeared around both brothers. The armors reared back and slammed their respective fists into the stone wall, destroying it and turning it into rubble immediately.
Kabuto looked up from where he was sitting and grinned evilly at the two Uchiha brothers. "My, my... two Uchiha all for little old me?"
"Spare us the groveling before you die," Itachi evenly replied. "I'd rather not have to listen to someone's life story before we kill them. We do have a schedule to keep, after all."
Kabuto simply stared at him, completely confused as to what Itachi was getting at.