inhales*
For my first one-shot I never thought it would have to be this way. Ok yes. This is Natsumi X Subaru, yes this is technically incest, yes I regret my life decision but god damn it was all worth it. Shout out to MageofBreath/destinythewriter on discord who without accepting my deal this horrible creation would never have been formed. All I can say is enjoy, or vomit idk.
I'm gonna head to bed.
Loving himself.
That was something Natsuki Subaru struggled to do every single day, the simple act of being confident and walking the hard road that was life with your head up high. Trust your abilities and trust yourself to get the job done, that is the meaning of truly loving yourself. Children love themselves even at a young age, adults love who they become and the journey that brought them to this point, teenagers struggle yet over time they learn to be happy with who they are. But Subaru, a man who just turned 18 years old, a full adult back in his world and a fully grown mature man in this world still found it difficult. It was funny in a way how he was able to do the impossible, yet struggled with such a simple task.
He faced off the Great Rabbit, one of the great mabeast, and smiled at it, even laughing as thousands of them came from all sides to eat him alive. He was able to stare down the bowel hunter, an assassin who loved making her targets die a slow, painful death by cutting apart their stomach and playing with their guts, with little to no fear,ven besting her twice with the help of his comrades. He looked death in the eyes so many times you could almost say they were romantic partners, always dancing together on a tightrope that Subaru would constantly fall off and get back up on. No matter the struggle he would stand up and make sure the people he loved are free from the clutches of death.
Yet when he looked in the mirror, he was not met with someone who had done the impossible. He didn't see a man who has survived death more times than naught. No, he saw a disgusting waste of space who didn't deserve to exist. He saw a man who should've not been brought into this world in the first place. He saw a man who had been given everything, and yet did nothing. He saw a man who spent most of his life in a dark room. Making the life of his wonderful parents, and the people around him worse.
He hated the man in the mirror. He hated his scary eyes, he hated his weak build, he hated how every single time something bad happens to the people he loves, he was always the one that needed protection. He hated how the man in the mirror had the right to smile and pretend everything was alright. He hated how the man in the mirror made everyone, especially his great spirit, who slept with him every night, worried about his nightly…scratching habit. He hated how his nose looked, hated his ears…he hated his spiky hairstyle for it didn't even belong to him. It was a direct copy from someone who pulled it off better, someone way better.
Overall Subaru hated the man he looked at every single day he went to take a shower, every time he had to do his hair. He hated Natsuki Subaru, he hated himself with a burning passion. No one in the world…no universe could harbor such a great hatred for Subaru than himself. He wished he was never born so someone far better and stronger could take his place. Yet he was here alive and well, and he would just have to live with that fact.
Stabbing himself in the throat was something Subaru would do rather than love himself…but that was ok. He didn't need to love himself, he didn't need to smile at his reflection in the mirror and feel proud of who he is. Someone was already doing that for him, someone who loved all his disgusting features. Someone who was kind, sweet, and merciful, someone who would love him for him, and that someone was the half-elf Emilia: the royal candidate, the woman who chose him to be her one and only knight ,and the one he gave his first kiss to. And now, just a few months ago, the person who took the first step and asked Subaru to be hers and hers only.
He remembered it as if it was yesterday, how she took him from his room and faced her in the garden beneath the moon's light shining upon them, confessing her love to him with tears, and him doing the same thing and they both shared a kiss. It was the happiest day of both their lives, and that day onwards… Subaru didn't need to love himself anymoreThe second their lips connected, he knew someone would do all that loving for him and he couldn't ask for anything better.
Today was going to be the greatest day of Subaru's life. No not the greatest day of his life, that was when Emilia declared his love for him, it would be instead of the greatest moments of his entire life. The second the sun could be seen over the horizon, shining its light over the Roswaal manor. Subaru was already awake. Walking out of one of the many bathrooms in the mansion and traveling back to his room,. his hair was soaking wet and each step he took left water footprints that were quickly absorbed into the carpet floor.
"What are you doing I suppose?" A child's voice called out suddenly from behind Subaru as he was rubbing his hair with one of the two extra bath robes he brought with him. The sound of the voice nearly made him jump right from where he was standing, however he was able to stay calm and slowly turn around . The second he did he was met with the face of cute loli in an elegant pink-dress with butterfly her face was neutral and showed little to no expression, the knight knew well there was something on the girl's mind. He should know, he could feel it through the bond they shared afterall.
"Don't scare me like that, Beako! It's embarrassing to sneak up on a man who is nearly half naked," Subaru complained as he let out a sigh of relief, quickly tightening the towel around his waist just in case he jumped again and this time fate wouldn't be on his side and the towel would fall.
"You deserve to be scared! You left Betty all alone in the room by herself," the great spirit spoke clearly as she crossed her arms together, narrowing her gaze at her half-naked contractor. The face she gave off was supposed to look serious and a force to be messed with, but in reality, it looked more like a cute pout which warmed the knight's heart.
"Aww, is Beako scared to sleep by herself?! I'm so sorry, next time I promise I will stay in bed even after I'm long awake."
"O-Of course Betty is not, in fact! Betty is 400 years old!" the great spirit replied completely flustered at the words that came out of her contractor's mouth, but even so she regained her composure.
"Betty only needs to zap some of your mana In fact, nothing more."
"Awwww. It's so cute when Beako lies."
"She is NOT in fact. Quit your senseless teasing before I suck every ounce of mana from your body."
"Sheesh, point taken Beako….'don't want to go through that again'" Subaru said the last part in his mind, clearly remembering a not so fun time when the Beako teasing reached a new height to the point she actually did as promised and took each ounce of mana from his gate as vengeance. what led to Subaru not waking up for an entire week straight. Not having mana is no joke, it was like a life force and instead of taking it away from you. It made you very dizzy and puts you to sleep.
"Now come here, I suppose. Betty wants to go back to her beauty sleep," Beatrice said aloud. The tone of her voice was clear that she was a bit annoyed. She took a step and was about to walk to her contractor when all of a sudden he took a step back, and that stopped her right in her tracks as she never saw her Subaru ever do this before, even when she was really, really angry.
"Wait Beako…." The raven-haired knight spoke in a whisper.
"Hmm?"
"Can we…do this mana draining thing another time?" The knight asked in a somber tone, rubbing his wet hair slightly as he gave his spirit a small smile.
"Why should I in fact? It is part of the contract that I can only gain mana from you."
"Yea, yea. I know. It's just that when you drain my mana, I get really dizzy, and I have a date coming up soon so I want to be in mint condition."
"Another date with the half-elf, I wonder?"
"YUP! Right on the money! Beako is so smart!" Subaru screamed aloud as he gave his great spirit a giant thumbs up.
"Emilia-tan and I are going flower picking and we're going to share a ki-"
"Betty doesn't care about what you do with the half-elf," Beatrice cuts him off quickly, giving her contractor a face of disinterest. "Betty is tired I suppose, go on your date, however next time Betty sees you she's draining 4 times the amount of Mana." Betty is tired I suppose, go on your date, however next time Betty sees you she's draining 4 times the amount of Mana." Beatrice cut him off quickly, giving her contractor a face of disinterest before turning around and walking away as quickly as she possibly could
"Thanks Beako." Was all Subaru could say in a whisper with a small smile on his face as the great spirit walked further and further away from him.
With the blessing of the great spirit Beatrice to allow him to stay in mint condition so he could be the best Subaru for the date ahead, the knight quickly retreated into his room where he was alone and could spend as much as he needed to prepare himself. He rubbed each and every part of his body until the towels had absorbed each and every ounce of water. He couldn't go on his precious date with his Emilia-tan looking like he just fell into a river.
No, he needed to be perfect….perfect enough. Good looking enough, because nobody in this world was perfect. Everyone had their problems, especially when it came to how they present themselves, and no one had that problem quite as Subaru, but Subaru… just had too many problems with himself. As he rubbed his body, his mind couldn't help but go back to all the times he looked like dirt.
Going to the meeting after falling into muddy waters, rambling at the royal selection with nothing more than his butler outfit, not presenting himself in a professional manner; Otto had told him many times to change his ways. Yet, he still couldn't do such a simple thing…, he was a f-. No. he needed to get these thoughts out of his mind and get ready. He had a date with EMT after all. How would his girlfriend feel when she's got all ready, looking so pretty in her white outfit and he just looks straight up like a bum.
Once Subaru's towel was basically drenched with water from every corner, Subaru flung open his closet door to get the perfect outfit. As a knight,you would expect him to have a multitude of clothing that he could put on in an instant and still look good. However, the closet was surprisingly barren with only three outfits hanging from makeshift hangers, created by a certain pink oni-maid who loved doing the bare minimum. Out of the three options, he had his trusty black and orange tracksuit, a perfect match for him, the outfit he wore when he was knighted back at the sanctuary–sheesh now looking at it.. he cringed at how ugly it was, especially compared to actual outfits the royal knights of Lugunica wore–and lastly, his old outfit back when he used to work for Roswaal's manor as a butler.
Subaru paused for a moment, going through each and every option in his mind and finally went alone with his trusty tracksuit. It was stylish, comfortable, good looking, and he knows how much his EMT loved it. Afterall, she even stole it a few times to try it on herself. Subaru smiled as he remembered how embarrassed Emilia was and tried to justify why she had something that was in his closet on her body. He loved seeing how red her face gets when she blushes, he loved how she tried hiding it from her. He really did just love her.
WIth his tracksuit on, Subaru just needed to do one more thing and that was his hair, rubbing his head for a quick moment as he turned towards the right corner of his room. There held a mirror placed firmly on a black desk filled with makeup, brushes, and some gel neatly organized. Subaru sat in the wooden chair…and just stayed there for a minute, looking at himself, at his eyes, his face, and his hair. He didn't know why but he nearly recoiled in disgust as he looked at the top of his head. It looked like someone just placed a mop on top of his head and called it a day.
It was ugly, generic, and- he didn't want to think about it any more. He needed something better, something good looking…and he knew the exact hair style for it. It takes about twenty minutes for Subaru to actually get his hair done, slicking it back and trying to make sure each of the three spikes on the front of his hair were straight and sharp. Once he was done, he had his usual spiky hair get-up, the one everyone in the kingdom knew him for. His hair cut looked good, stood out, and it was original, well to the eyes of the people here. This hair style wasn't his. It belonged to someone greater and to someone he would never see again.
"Thanks dad. Sorry I keep stealing it," Subaru whispered to himself as he looked in the mirror with a smile. He didn't see himself in the mirror any more, and someone else, someone with the same hairstyle with a muscular build and wearing glasses. He could see his shining white smile, and could hear his voice so clearly in his mind. Quick images of a family he once had flashed through his mind, before he stood, ready to take on the day.
"OK! Hair, check. Tracksuit, check. Now I just need to do my morning exercise, and I am good to go!" Slowly, Subaru began to bend down, readying himself to do his usual morning routine to give himself a boost of energy that could rival a dragon carriage when he stopped mid session and stood up straight.
"Wait! Emilia-tan loves doing it with me! It would not be fair if I leave my dear Emilia-tan to do it by herself and the morning routine can only be done once and not replicated perfectly, at least not for a few hours. I sh-ACK."
Suddenly, mid his rambling, Subaru felt pain echoing through his entire body, his head felt dizzy, his stomach felt like it was stabbed by a knife. His hands felt stiff and unmovable and his legs were wobbly, so wobbly it was a miracle he was still standing. He went to the chair, sat back down, and stayed still for a good few moments holding his breath and waiting for…he didn't know, but he felt like something was coming. After two minutes of perfect stillness, he placed a hand on his chest and began breathing in and out, in and out trying to stay calm and keep his composure.
Quickly, he looked around the room…no one was there. He looked at his body and it showed no signs of injury, and he was certainly alive. He knew the feeling of death, he knew how death works and the fact he was still standing in the same exact place told him everything he needed to know. He was ok, he was fine, but where did that pain come from? It wasn't a panic attack, no, it felt different.
The way his body felt this sudden shock of pain, yet it wasn't even his body causing him to cry out. It was his soul. His soul was aching, he could feel it. It was like an organ, he knew it was there, he knew it was aching him, but he couldn't see it. He felt this pain before when he used Invisible Providence, chipping away a piece of his soul and forcing him to cough up blood. The pain he experienced was nearly similar,yet he didn't use providence obviously. So what caused him such a pain that rivaled providence? He didn't understand until…he got it.
It's funny how the mind can remember the smallest of details when you are truly desperate. It was once just once, a time when he and Beatrice went to the kitchen to cook up something to eat when everyone else was gone. He was in charge of getting the soup at boiling temperature and his great spirit was in charge of cutting the food. Surprisingly, for a 400 year old spirit who had seen life times go by in a blink of an eye, she was just as bad, scratch that, worse at cutting food than Subaru. She tried to cut a potato and actually cut herself several times. Subaru didn't know this at the time, but he could feel it. He could feel a knife gliding over his fingers and delivering a small cut. He could feel blood flowing out of his hand when he was perfectly healthy. Each pain he felt on his fingers were similar to the cuts beatrice had with her blue spiritual blood escaping,so if he wasn't hurt by invisible providence then-
"B- Beatrice," Subaru whispered to himself, his voice trembling at the thought of something happening to his great spirit.
Without thinking, he ran out the door, crashing it open as he ran towards the last location he saw Beatrice, but he found nothing. She had to be somewhere else. She had to be safe, she had to be ok, so he ran faster and faster, running around the entire manor to find even a trace of his great spirit. He only prayed to Od she was safe, he prayed to Od that if the worst did come to pass, he could at least see her before she disappeared with him as her last sigh. No he couldn't be thinking like this, he needed to save her, he needed to help her if she was truly about to be killed.
"BEAKO!" he screamed out, his voice echoing throughout the entire manor and even back at him. He ran and ran, waiting for a response from the great spirit but heard nothing. He opened every door, checked every closet, even the small holes in hope that Beatrice somehow, somehow shrunk herself to safety. Yet he found nothing;there was no sign of the great spirit.
Infact, there was no sign of anyone. He had been screaming for the past ten minutes,someone would have to wonder what was wrong with him by now, but no one came to check on him. Even when he broke inside several of their rooms and ran around the entire manor to find his great spirit, he found no one. No one at all. He was alone in an empty manor… the floors were perfectly clean with no trace of dirt, the kitchen was tighty, no traces of clothes besides those that remained in the room. What if they were kidnapped, Subaru thought, but there were no signs of struggle. From Subaru's perspective, if he knew nothing, he would've assumed this place was just built and polished.
After what felt like hours of running around, Subaru finally began to slow down. His breaths became heavier every second. His body tried to force him to stop and take in as much air as possible, fill him up with energy to run once more. However, each time it did Subaru would waste all the air in his ling and scream out the names of the people he cared for. Trying his best to get a response from someone, anyone, it didn't matter if one of them were safe he was happy.
"RAM! PETRA! OTTO! EMILIA-TAN! ANYONE! DO YOU HEAR ME?!" he screamed out through the window. Tears threatened to fall from his face as he began to breathe heavily, his eyes darting around every direction in hopes he could catch a figure of his friends in the distance, but yet again found nothing..
"PLEASE, JUST COME BACK! IF YOUR ALIVE PLEASE TELL ME SOMETHING ANYTHING!"
"..."
"Please… don't leave me alone."
"I won't leave you alone," a familiar girly voice said behind the raven-haired knight sending a chill down his spine. Without thinking, he tried to turn around but he felt a sharp pain on the right side of his neck. Instantly, he felt himself getting sleepy, very sleepy to the point where he couldn't keep his body up. Slowly, he fell to the ground; he could feel his body temperature dropping as the weight on his eyes became heavy to the point he couldn't keep them up for very much longer.
"I'll stop you," he muttered aloud, already succumbing to the fate in store for him. He knew death was coming and if Subaru was going to die, he would go back and prevent everything from happening. He would protect everyone he loves from this mysterious danger no matter how many times he had to die. Slowly, as sleep began overtaking him, he heard light footsteps coming from the same direction the voice came from, walking up to him and standing right in front of his face.
The mysterious woman had… a familiar black high heels and a dress that covered nearly her entire legs. He didn't know why, but for some reason he had a strange feeling that he had seen these same exact heels and dress before, but he couldn't quite put his tongue on it. He tried to use the remaining strength in his eyes to look up and see the face of one who attacked him but he couldn't he was too weak to do such a simple task.
"No you won't, because I-" the voice began speaking as she knelt down next to the fallen raven-haired knight, however, that was the last thing Subaru heard before he finally gave in and closed his eyes. He sharpened his resolve and swore on every ounce of blood in his body he would stop whoever this was.
Darkness.
An empty void of nothing but black, similar to shadows. That was the first thing Subaru saw as he slowly began to open his eyes once more. He turned his head left and right, trying to find anything in the darkness, but nothing there was. Nothing. Was this the shadow garden? He knew it was rare, but he had come here every now and then, before he was sent back. But there was a problem with that small little theory: when Subaru would enter the shadow garden, he was like a lower spirit. No arms to move, no mouth to breathe air through, and no body to do anything with, however this time something was different.
Everything he didn't have in the shadow garden, he had right now. He could feel his fingers stretching out, he could feel thick air enter and exit his lung. More importantly, even though he couldn't see, he could certainly feel.
He could feel himself sitting down upon a wooden surface with something to lay his back on. He could tell instantly he was on a chair. He tried moving from left to right and even tried to stand, but he couldn't as he could feel rope around both his hands and legs. Each time he tried to escape, it felt like the rope was getting tighter and tighter and tighter, closing in on itself. The more he struggled, the more the rope rubbed on his skin, burning him with its friction.
After an entire minute of trying to escape and gaining more rope burns to the point he felt like his bones would burst open, Natsuki Subaru finally gave in, letting out a loud sigh of frustration due to his current circumstances.
'Ok. Think Subaru, think. Clearly I've been kidnapped, but by who? The Witch cult? Damn those bastards, what do they want with me?' Subaru thought to himself, anger nearly clouded his mind as he remembered the group that has been terrorizing the people of Lugunica for the sake of the witch and caused him to go back in time and experience such hellish loops. To Subaru, they were scum that needed to be wiped out from existence and if he could, he would without any sort of hesitation or mercy. However, for now, even if it was the witch cult that kidnapped him, he didn't have the strength to take them on.
'Should I try to Return by Death return by death, no. I need to get information first and figure out what they want with me.'Just calm down Subaru. If they kidnapped you, they clearly want something and sooner or later they will come. You just have to wait.'
Like a twisted sense of fate, the very moment Subaru thought this, he heard a small creep in front of him in a direction going up.
'Damn it, no time to think on what to say. Here we go, Natsuki Subaru.'
Sharpening his resolve one final time, Subaru waited patiently for whoever it was to reach him. He could hear the light tapping of wood as the figure's footsteps hit what Subaru knew were stairs. Each second, the footsteps came closer to him and each second, they grew louder and louder. It took Subaru everything he had not to freak out as the footsteps grew so loud. It was the only thing he could hear and prevented him from thinking.
Until…it stopped and that was when Subaru knew his kidnapper was right in front of him. He took a deep breath preparing mentally for what's to come. Subaru first felt a hand on his face, rubbing his chin… then his ears… then to the top of his head. Subaru should feel disgusted, revolted and jolt back at his kidnappers' strange actions towards his face, yet he didn't. It was impossible for him to explain, but her fingers felt ungodly smooth. It was like silk, strange, but comforting. Any thought of rebellion seemingly disappeared as the hand began to move away from his face and touch the outline of his body.
Poking his muscles, grabbing and squeezing his thighs with one hand and the other rubbing his cheek. He felt a sudden weight appear on his lap, and he felt heavy breathing.
"You've been working out, haven't you?" the voice asked. Her tone was that of pure lust as Subaru could still feel her hand on his body.
"Who are you?!"
"Right. Ahhh. How could I be so stupid and rude. Touching you without asking you first, I'm so,so sorry. Let me get you out of that blind fold first. Must be terribly hot in here, stupid other world not having air conditioning am I right?" the voice replied back, her lustful tone completely changed in an instant to that of complete embarrassment. Slowly Subaru felt her hand on his face, rubbing it smoothly for a few seconds before, without warning, ripped off the blind fold finally allowing Subaru the ability to see clearly once again.
It was still dark for Subaru, still very, very dark. However, with the blind fold out of the way, he could see much better. He instantly turned to the source of the voice. His eyes narrowed at first to who dared take him away from his friends before it widened as he looked up and down the figure in front of him. She wore a long, black dress being matched with black gloves and black high heels. Her hair was black as the night sky, everything about her was black besides her smooth pale skin…and her scary but kind brown eyes.
"Hello, Subaru. It's an honor to meet you. My name is Natsumi Schwarz. It is a pleasure,." sShe greeted with a small bow to the tied up knight before straightening herself.
Subaru said nothing., Hhe just did a deadpan stare at the lady before him. Natsumi, that was her name? This had to be a joke, no way, this couldn't be the person in front of her.
"Is this a joke?" Subaru finally spoke, after a good minute of silence.
"Uhhh…no?" Natsumi replied with a smile.
"Are you some kind of shape shifter trying to mess with me?"
"If you mean I'm a Capella, hell no. I hate that bitch, fucking tried to turn me into a frog last time." Natsumi mumbled the last part to herself. Subaru could see her squeezing her hands with all her might, nearly causing blood to drip onto the ground.
"What's the name of your parents?"
"Natsuki Kenichi and Natsuki Naoko. They're the greatest parents any kid could ask for, am I right?"
" Yeah…you're right…" Subaru whispered as the memories of his kind and amazing parents flooded his mind again for a few reasons before he moved on to the next question.
"What is the greatest food in the world?"
"Mayonnaise,." Natsumi said without hesitation., Tthere was no hint of doubt., not ege
"What is a hobby you don't like anyone knowing about?"
"I-I…sometimes"' Nnatsumi began stuttering as her face turnedbegan turning red with embarrassment., Itit took her about six6 seconds, but she finally choked out the words she needed to say.
"I..sometimes like cross dressing as a boy..but it doesn't always work out you know. My chest gets in the way, you know," Natsumi replied. This time a large blush was on her face as she turned around and covered her chest from Subaru,but that didn't stop a part of it from poking out no matter how hard she tried. Needless to say, that wasn't Subaru's main concern right. Hismain concern was-
"Wait, what you're me! CROSS DRESSING?!" The raven-haired knight screamed at the similar raven-haired lady.
"What! N-N-No no no! I am not you cross dressing! D-Didn't you hear my last answer? I'm you but from another u-universe," Natsumi stuttered.
"Another universe?" Subaru narrowed his eyes in suspicion.
"Yes, another universe. You see I'm you…if i was a girl, and that's it no real major changes from your reality. Besides me slapping some sense into Emilia instead of kissing her…." For some reason as she uttered the last three words of her sentence, Natsumi's tone and aura grew swore he could see his other half have a hint of blood lust inside of her the second she uttered the last two words.
Still just as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared and was replaced with a cheerful dumb smile.
"In a world of magic and fantasy and the fact your life is basically mine, I'll take your word for it. But why am I here? Where's Emilia-tan, where's Beako?!"
"Shhh, shh shh. Calm down," Natsumi whispered in a motherly tone, stretching out one of her fingers and placing it firmly on his lips. She brought her face closer to his, and stared deep into the brown eyes they both shared. She said nothing for a few seconds, just giving Subaru a lust filled stare before pulling back for a moment.
"Though it is kinda cute to see you freaking out like that, maybe you can do that again for me sometimes."
At his other self's strange request, Subaru stopped for a moment. Everything actually stopped. His train of thought just stopped working as he processed the words of his flirtatious other self. He didn't know why, but he was blushing madly.
"Awww, you're so cute when you're blushing, as well. I could nearly die., The fact that I was the one who did it by just getting closer. Do you like what you see, Subaru?"
"No! You just said something weird and it caused me to act like that. My heart belongs to Emilia-tan and Emil-"
"DON'T MENTION HER!" Natsumi screamed at her other self with nothing short of anger in her eyes as she gripped onto his tracksuit with all her might. She was about to pull him closer to her but stopped when she saw how visibly shaken and frightened her other self was at her powerful scream. A bit embarrassed and filled with regret, Natsumi silently let him go and turned around. Taking a few seconds to collect her thoughts on what to say next.
"It's not..nice to talk about another woman in front of one, afterall. I know I'm told I have no manners, but man you're worst."
"J-Just what do you want from me, and where are the others?" Subaru asked, still trembling in his seat.
"Everyone is perfectly fine. It's simple really. I want one thing and one thing only okkkkkkk… scratch that two demands."
"I want to be… your girlfriend and then… your wife." She uttered the last part of her demand very quietly, her face turning redder than a rose as she turned around and covered her face in embarrassment. 'Who knew asking would be so easy and hard at the same time'
"What?" Subaru asked in a deadpan stare. … hHe just couldn't believe what he just heard. He heard that wrong, right?, nNo way his other self, who kidnapped and dragged him in a weird ass basement, wanted to be his girlfriend no fucking wa-
"You heard me, I want to be Natsumi Schwarz, proud girlfriend and future wife of the knight Natsuki Subaru." And just like that knight was both weirdly interested and confused as FUCK.
"Listen! I get told many times I should love myself, but this is taking too far, that's just incest at this point!"
"It's not incest if it's yourself from another reality," Natsumi replied back with a wink.
"Ok, Natsumi, that is a tempting offer. Verrrry tempting, however, I have a girlfriend and her name is Emilia-tan. As a committed man you know I can never cheat on her."
"Oh don't worry about Emilia, my cute other self. I already took care of that problem just a while before you woke up…" Natsumi said aloud with nothing short of pure joy in her voice, a large smile forming on her and her eyes Subaru could've sworn on everything just turned red as she looked down at him.
"No… don't tell me you killed her!" Subaru screamed out.
"What? Of course not. I'm not a murderer if I don't want to be. Who do you think I am?" Natsumi pouted in annoyance.
"S-s-so, what did you do to my Emilia-tan!" As the words MY Emilia came out of Subaru's mouth, Natsumi scrowl but maintained her composure.
"I just sent her far, far away. She'll have a long and happy life with no need to interrupt what the two of us have. She's perfectly safe, I promise my handsome Subaru," she said calmly as she sat forward on Subaru's lap as if it was just an ordinary chair. She brought her face closer to Subaru's so that she was the only thing in his vision. Not the darkness, not the faint hints of light, just Natsumi and Natsumi only.
"Beak- Beatrice, Otto, everyone else, what did you do to them?" Subaru began to stutter, completely terrified at the person sitting on his lap. Well, that was what his brain thought he was feeling a bit hot on his face, he was blushing alot.
"Don't worry Baru. They were rowdy, but I got it under control. They're trapped somewhere, but perfectly happy and perfectly healthy. They won't interrupt us, not after we have our long awaited date."
"Date? Just..why are you doing this? Why are you so in love with me?!" At Subaru's question, Natsumi paused for a second and began to snort in amusement, then the snort turned into a chuckle and it turned into a full blown laugh. It was a sinister dark, obsessive laugh that echoed throughout the entire basement and filled Subaru's ears before it suddenly stopped. It ended with Natsumi slowly placing her lips on Subaru's head and kissing it while she held onto him even tighter.
"It's the same reason why you love Emilia. She saved you in the alleyway, and you saved me when I was losing my mind and on the verge of burning everything to the ground. You showed me the light, you showed me your journey and how you were able to overcome it all. You even talked to me and hugged me, loving and holding me when no one else would."
"So that's why Natsuki Subaru… I love you with all my heart, and my infinite lives." Slowly Natsumi's lips retracted from Subaru's ears and stared at him. Her eyes were indeed red and her pupils had hearts outline on them,
"It's as they say at weddings: May death do us part… but that won't happen because with our little gift called Return by Death, we'll be together.FOREVER"
With those final words, Natsumi brought her lips towards Subarus and didn't move an inch as she took in the warmth of his mouth. Subaru meanwhile wanted to struggle, wanted to try to push her off and claim that his heart still belonged to Emilia, but for some reason he couldn't. There was a funny feeling in chest , a strange warmth when he looked at Natsumi, a strange feeling when she declared her love for him. It was just like that time with Rem when he was at the lowest point of his life.
Natsuki Subaru now understood that feeling. The moment Natsumi placed her lips on his, it was bewitching. His body, heart, and soul felt like it needed to belong to her.
'So…this is what Stockholm syndrome feels like. I understand you alot better now Ram.' Was the last thing Subaru thought before succumbing to the love of his other self, leaning forward and deepening their kiss. It caught Natsumi off guard at first, but she didn't mind. The love of her life belonged to her now, and her only. She couldn't smile due to having her love, the boy version of her, lips connected to her mouth, but if she did, she would be smiling from ear to ear. While the passion was overwhelming, Natsumi had enough focus to stare at a half-open door behind the boy's chair inside. The floors were covered with red and in all that red would be a silver-haired half-elf lying motionlessly with a knife stuck deep in her chest.
'Coming to this world was entirely worth it.' Natsumi thought to herself, gazing away from the door and back at her love's beautiful face, deepening their kiss further than ever before. She was in pure bliss and for what felt like hours they would stay like that.
Epilogue.
You know, if you ask Natsuki Subaru if he loved himself, he would be like, everyone and say yes. In fact, he would not only say yes, but he would go a step further. He'll start bragging, telling people about all the things he's done and give off a weird goofy smile. That would be the mask Subaru would let out to hide his true feelings about himself, the reality of his self deprecation and weakness. He was pathetically powerless and just all around a pretty useless person who only shined when people's lives were in danger. Even then, he wouldn't have made it far without Return by Death. Everyone he cared about would have died a painful death and there would be nothing he could do about it. Natsuki Subaru hated himself with a passion, so, if he was honest, he would say no. Someone else could love himself for him, and that someone else used to be a silver-haired half-elf.
However, today, almost five years after the royal candidate for the throne Emilia went missing and Felt ascended and took to the throne as the kingdom's rightful queen, Subaru had finally broken out of that depressing nonsensical state of thought. He now saw himself for who he really was. He wasn't a pathetic weak coward who needed to rely on Return By Death to do
anything special. He was Natsuki Subaru, the royal knight of the kingdom of Luginica and a proud husband and hopefully one day a father.
The person who broke him out his terrible mindset that would've eaten away at him until there was nothing left was the most beautiful woman in all the kingdom. Her hair was long and black like the void, her chest was bigger than Priscilla's, and her thighs were so thick a man could sleep on it like a pillow. Subaru should know about the thighs part, for every now and then, after a long day, he would sleep on said lady's thighs. The person who saved Subaru from himself…was Natsuki Natsumi, his lovely wife and the bane of every lady who looked her way.
Natsuki Natsumi was the perfect lady in Subaru's eyes: kind, sweet, loving, confident, protective, and beautiful. He was lucky that she chose him instead of going off for one of the better looking guys in all of the kingdom, like Reinhard for example. He was happy she came to his world, every day felt brighter with her around. His heart fluttered at her flirtatious comments. Even now, while standing alone in a cafe waiting for his wife to come by so they can have another date, just thinking about her made him blush. He loved his wife, and many others do as well for her looks, her personality, they envied Subaru for having her in his arms instead of them.
Besides a few members of his camp, Garfiel was supportive, being ignorant and not knowing the truth about Natsumi, and so was Otto and everyone else. However, Ram and Roswaal were opposed to the idea, almost flat out disgusted. They knew the truth about Natsuki Natsumi, but Subaru didn't care. He didn't care if it was wrong, he didn't care if kissing himself was considered strange. It was another universe version, so it didn't count, plus who were they to judge anyway. One was in love with a 400 year old clown and that said clown was simping for a 400 year old dead witch.
It didn't matter. He needed to get them out of his mind and wait, wait for the person he loved the most in the world, himself. f Every second that ticked by without her felt miserable. He sat and waited in the cafe for seconds, then the seconds turned to thirty seconds, then it turned to an entire minute, then it turned to two.-
After two entire minutes of patiently waiting, he heard a small bell coming from the door of the medieval cafe and he turned to see who it was. It wasn't only Subaru that took a glance, it was everyone: demi-humans, humans, knights, they all stared at the front door, and the sight they saw took their breath away.
It was a mistress in a long black dress, and void black hair. Her brown eyes shone in the sunlight window as she stood perfectly still and looked around the building for a second before spotting Subaru and walking up to him.
"You look beautiful today Nat. Nah, who am I kidding, you always look beautiful, " Subaru greeted with a smile as he stood up and hugged his wife who welcomed the embrace with open arms. She gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.
"And you look just as handsome as yesterday," she whispered back as she took her husbands' hands, feeling it's warmth and smoothness on her own.
"Well, let's sit down. I heard this restaurant makes killer pie, and I know how you love pie, hell maybe more than me," Subaru said with a smile as he sat back down in his rightful seat, gesturing to his wife to do the same with the seat in front of him.
"I only love you… and mayonnaise." Natsumi laughed as she followed her husband's lead and sat exactly where he wanted her to be..
"Do you love me more than mayonnaise?" Subaru asked, raising his eyebrow, causing his wife to choke on air for a quick moment.
" *cough* I could ask you the same question, dear…"
Both fell silent for a few seconds, seriously wondering who they loved more, each other or the golden white creamy dressing that makes everything taste better called mayonnaise. They actually spent an entire three minutes thinking about it and they both came to the same conclusion: to save their marriage, they would not answer the question at all but instead move on.
"Well we can still love each other and mayonnaise, right Baru."
"That's right, Nat," Subaru replied, just smiling and nodding at his wife.
"Hey maybe..after this date, We can make some homemade mayonnaise in the bedroom," she said shyly under her breath, just loud enough for her husband to hear while at the same time hiding a large blush on her face.
"Ooo, I didn't know my other half could be so lustful," Subaru teased.
"You know who you are and exactly who you married too," she replied back with a wink.
"That I do…and I don't regret it."
"Neither do I." Slowly Natsuki Subaru and Natsuki Natsumi stood up from their seats and formed a small, deep, powerful kiss to one another from over the table.
For the rest of their lives, the two travelers coming from another world and another universe entirely, would spend the rest of their lives in complete happiness, feeling one another's warmth and love. If trouble does start coming on the horizon, not even death would stop them from taking the happy ending they had so rightly earned.
So... did y'all enjoy it? laugh, cringe? I did all three when writing this. I aint even gonna say nothing just..thanks for reading and I'll see you in another story. Hey maybe next time my second one-shot ain't as cursed.
