The library's ceiling—gilded as well as painted with a garden of Lugnica's national flower—faded into view as a door opened, feet and voices whispering their way inside.
Bordering this greeting, a bed of pink and purple stripes pillowing Subaru. "B?"
"Y-you're awake?" She sounded surprised, her lap twitching twice as if ready to spring. "How long have you been up? Why didn't you let Betty know?"
"Sleep felt too good, Mum." Subaru groaned, stretching his arms and legs. Overhead, Beatrice's chin and twintails wagged—totally rolling her eyes. "What's happenin'?" What even happened to everyone before blacking, and speaking with Beatrice earlier?
"You were roused by the sudden, noisy insects, I suppose."
"Nah, that was just Big Sis's big-ass feet! Ah-h'ow! " Garf gasped with a meaty thunk.
"I'll aim lower next time, Baby Brother."
"Heh, wouldja look at that?" Other voices mingled under Garf's snarling. "Sis's big as a house yet prettier than the queen. She's the best o' both worlds, I tell ya!"
"That's partially more like it, Garf," said Frederica, punctuated by the hard clatter of platters on wood—among the softer ting of metal—fading into earshot.
"Huh?" Subaru lifted his head to find Emilia by the doorway, conducting a trio of platter-laden maids like a mother hen, all six hands and even arms laden. Otto came last, empty-handed, with Meili grooming a small mabeast leading. Everyone was in their lounging clothes; it was like one of their slumber parties. Emilia stole the Otto's ear as he passed, also waving for Garf. Whispering to them, receiving a nod every few words—secrets with Otto and Garfiel? What personal matters did Emilia entrust with the Royal Coach and Sworn Shield aside, before even Ram and Frederica? After exchanging last words and farewell gestures before they started for the lunch table, Garfiel turned with a thunder-like clap. "Triple decker for me! Tuna one layer, then those doctor-fish the next!"
"Make your own sandwich, little boy," said Ram, slathering a big toasted roll in something purple. Her expression's softness was subtle enough to almost miss, obscured by the steam rising from an uncovered basket of fresh bread. The others were following suit as soon as they gathered, like they hadn't eaten all day.
As soon as Subaru's stomach growled, a laugh puffed under Beatrice's breath. "You missed two meals, after all."
"Crap, it's been that long?" Subaru's gaze wandered until finding a stunned Emilia watching him from her place by the door.
Subaru waved, and Emilia blinked out of whatever thousand-yard-highway she was staring down. She panicked to wiggle her fingers at him, smile strained. One would have to be as dense as Subaru used to be to misread this picture. Yet, whatever form Subaru's concern was taking made Emilia drop the act upon meeting his eyes again.
Perhaps it was because Subaru was so calm, or it was just a matter of seeing him again.
Again, after… everything.
Until today, it was a dream to share it all with Emilia: the hand he'd grasped on the floor of Rom's loot house, the promise on his lips with a boyish love in his heart. A love that was desperate and clingy when they first returned to the capital, but also wholehearted and zealous in its resolve to thwart Betelgeuse's victory; a love selfless enough for Subaru to throw himself into the jaws of a spikey chasm or a legendary flying whale, and sometimes selfish enough to blind him to the pain such recklessness inflicted on the people he was trying to protect. A love that was needed most in the Sanctuary, and needed to be so much greater, stronger, and wiser and most importantly tempered numerous challenges later. A love that arrived naive and sheltered, but has since become something "wiser" if one were feeling kind; or, at the very least, refined. Subaru would tell Emilia all, or so he imagined some nights in the last year: what she's forgotten, the good and the bad. About himself, obviously, without hesitation. The same with her, but only if she wished to know the details: those encounters with her broken vessel and Satella, and then some, like the whole Rem debacle after she returned and the thrill of it subsided.
Sometimes Subaru would ponder the reactions of others, how they would feel and what they would be most curious about. What would they get angry over; what about this would disgust them, and ideally what would move them. These midnight musings were no longer such, but reality, one in which the present company gave Subaru so much space that they didn't want to notice if he was awake, it seemed—the royal sandwich bar, crowded by all his friends so many miles away, or so several feet felt. Understandable, of course. Subaru definitely didn't give "let's talk about this more later" vibes wailing from the center of a support circle.
Similarly, it should never have been a question, whether or not Emilia wished to know. Rather, if she could take it: her smile thin with countless emotions as she approached, courageous as a frightened deer. "S-Subaru… h-how're you d—?" Emilia's voice died, mask shattering with emotion as she shook her head, stepping into a fast walk. Two footfalls later she was jogging, halfway there before dropping to her knees, sliding the rest of the way with a deep ripping sound smothered beneath her. "Subaru," she breathed, pulling his head from Betty's lap.
"Em—" Oh, their "hello-smooch." Did her royal threads just tear? 'Let's make a Date Night out of sewing it,' Subaru was about to say, wanted to... was going to. "Mm?" As soon as he tried to pull back the warmth and softness pressed harder against his lips, hotter in his soul. Emilia wasn't just greeting Subaru, no, she was kissing him hard. But without the fervor typical when alone, the only time she would express herself so openly.
This was need, not desire.
"Emily," Betty mumbled.
A long press of their lips was all this was, until it swiftly ended: "Come with me, please," she breathed, practically mid-kiss still.
"M-Mili?"
Emilia pulled back enough for her face to be all Subaru could see: a crumpled forehead creasing her cuteness, huge eyes quivering. To keep it straight and cordial like she must have been until now… Until suppertime? "Subaru," she stressed, grabbing his attention, "I don't want to embarrass you or me in front of our friends, so..." Her mouth wobbled in the immediate, chatter-filled silence. "Subaru, please , as your wife , I am begging you… don't make me say it. I just can't stand handling this by myself. Alone—I tried, but I can't—I can't stop hearing your pain, thinking about it—"
"Mili—"
"Feeling it, Subaru."
A lot; she was going through a lot and Subaru wanted to take away all of it. "Emilia, it's okay."
"Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Can… we please talk? Please?"
Subaru didn't need to think for his reply. "Okay, Mili. No problem. For you I'll do anything." Emilia gave a shudder as she snatched his hand, yanking Subaru upright and across the library, past the others. Faster than any human could process the change in location.
Frederica called in their wake, "Oh, dear—please! Do be mindful, Queen Emilia!"
"Why did we even try? Of course she wasn't going to listen—"
"Can you blame her, Sister?" Rem murmured over Ram. "It's Subaru."
"As far as Her Grace is concerned…" Frederica took a deep breath, finishing steadily, "All that matters is everything our king endured, and that it's because of—" The door shut on the Head Maid's murmuring. Subaru's freshest memory of her was Frederica shooting up from her chair, almost fleeing upon piecing together the truth of Subaru's curse herself.
Frederica was really hurting over this. Although, Subaru should've expected this after seeing her ruddy-faced and puffy-eyed at his knighting. And Emilia's coronation, and her wedding. And every birthday of the current gathering, especially her own or her brother's. "I wanna apologize to her later," said Subaru, breaking the monotony of their muffled march down the red carpet. "Fred didn't need to know all that about me, even if we are friends. She's so sweet and kind, and I just… didn't think beyond that, when you get down to it." Emilia's pace quickened. Subaru kept up after feeling a tug on his arm. Swallowing his looming anxiety, he said, "I meant in my fantasies—it was such a daydream that I never bothered to think about the dust settled after. Never considered that there'd be no benefit to Frederica, dragging her through the muck." Without turning, Emilia wrenched a crystal doorknob she almost passed and threw the door open. Led inside, Subaru continued, "That's kinda disgusting, huh? All it does is hurt, and Fred doesn't need any of that."
"Yes." Emilia walked them into a bathroom. Their bathroom, to be precise—the castle staff that shared their wing, those closest to the royalty. As such, it was a porcelain chamber with five pool-like tubs on either side of a tile wall; each big enough for one person, one row per gender. Emilia stopped before the curtain division between the two sides, her determined profile visible in the long mirror that reached this far into the bathroom.
Emilia took a deep breath and sighed.
Inhale, exhale.
She turned and gave a start, as if Subaru's being there was unexpected; only to step around him and crow, "Beatrice? What're you—?"
Subaru spun around, saying without thinking, "I didn't see her in the mirror! So short!"
Betty glared flatly as if nothing was out of the ordinary, that they were buffoons for thinking such. "I don't trust you alone with Subaru right now, in fact."
The audacity sent Subaru reeling. "Beako, c'mon, that's a little—"
"I am not budging on this," she snapped, still staring through his legs. Fists grabbed at and unclenched the fine fabric of her gown, like a stress toy. "You'll never be alone with Subaru again, I suppose."
Subaru couldn't find the courage to reprimand her before Emilia, sighing, joined him at his side. "I completely understand. If I'm being honest, I don't quite trust myself right now."
Subaru couldn't help but exhale. "Thought you were about to tan my hide, my Queen!"
"I'm not angry with you." Emilia held her heart as though in prayer to the spirits. "But… I mean… you saw how I was, just before Beatrice stopped us. I don't trust myself not to make a mess of this—"
"So you've said, and yet, here we are," Beatrice said.
"Y-yes…"
"In a foolish locale: the Upper Staff's restroom that could be trespassed at any moment like so. With feelings you don't know how to communicate and cannot stand the inability to do so, in fact." Betty, at last, not only met her queen's gaze but matched the pain in her eyes. "Betty is equally weak in this area, I suppose. And that's precisely why I don't trust a single one of us to put Subaru's feelings before we're own. Even if," she added softly, "even if those are all we can think about right now, I suppose."
No words came despite Subaru taking a breath—he ought to say something. A comfort or an encouragement, a stress reliever. "Beako, maybe—"
"Finish that sentence." And with a dare, Betty had won. Crossing her arms, her butterfly-laden glare softened on Emilia. "Apologies. Betty isn't acting out of possessiveness, I suppose." Not solely, then. "I cannot stand the thought of Subaru getting hurt if there was something Betty could and should have done about it."
"No. No, you're absolutely right, Beatrice. My thoughts are like a death hornet's nest right now; m'such a mess." She palmed an eye, laughing a single, tired sigh. "I'd no idea what I even wanted to say to you, Subaru. And I still don't. Even after making you travel as far as I had."
"Several doors down the hall is 'travelling?' C'mon, Mili." His wife simply dropped her miserable face from view. Withering in the immediate silence, Subaru palmed his forehead. "Ugh. What am I doing?"
"Being yourself, for better and worse, I suppose."
"Don't you mean, 'for better or worse?'"
"Betty knows what she said, in fact."
"Um, Subaru?" Emilia's hands were clasped before her, brows knitted; despite the telltale signs that would worry, Subaru found himself locked in her eyes. "Subaru, I apologize for embarrassing you just now."
"Oh, Emilia," he chuckled in relief. "You didn't. But you look clear-headed now! If just a little." He scratched his head, throwing a wink at Betty. "Seems I'm getting rusty, though. Eh, Great Spirit?"
"Yes, just a little," Emilia agreed. "Beatrice… Betty… is absolutely correct in her assessment: I was acting while feeling and feeling when I should've been thinking. But now that I am… thinking , that is, once again… it's like… like a wind is howling—no, screaming in my head every time I look at you." Clasping the side of her head with one hand, her empty pendant in the other, Emilia continued, "And yet, still, the sun breaks through and warms my heart every time you speak. But… but then it clouds, because this has gone on for three years beyond anybody's control and it's like… like my old self is trying to come out again, telling me to be wary of everything you say. Something the me of now hates, but—"
"I get it."
Emilia wrenched her face away. "But it won't be quiet, it can't just simply trust you when you try to make me feel better—!"
"Mili, this is me. " Subaru urged her cheek, getting Emilia to look at him. "Still your Subaru. You can trust that , at least, right?"
"Trust—? Trust what? That you lived the last three years of your life, smiling genuinely and laughing—?"
"Yes!" Subaru moved his other hand to her face, cradling Emilia. "Yes. Sometimes I was faking it, yeah. Sometimes I wanted to scream and cry, just to get you to comfort me—"
"I would've done that, though."
"And you have," Subaru stressed. "You have, Emilia. And Beatrice—all of you." Turning to her, his spirit reaffirmed her firm expression and crossed arms. "And thanks to you, I was able to smile and laugh for real a whole lot more."
"This sounds of drivel from one of your 'ah'n-imaze.'"
Subaru laughed at how right Betty was. "You're not wrong. And it's starting to feel that way, sure! But… it's the truth." Turning back to Emilia, her pained expression softening as their gazes rekindled, he said, "It's the truth, Emilia. And I'll insist on it even if you hate me: it's thanks to you and Beatrice, and the others inside this castle and out, that I didn't break. Tha I didn't… that I didn't suffer as much as you think."
"Subaru…"
"That I'm able to enjoy the present like I have? Twisted as it is, I never would have if not for this horrible curse. Unequal compensation? Trust me, I've thought about that more than you can imagine, but…" Just as Emilia's chin began to lower, Subaru tilted it back up, ensuring she couldn't miss his sincerity. "The value of my experiences are my own. As well as the costs paid along the way. I'm saying they're worth it to me. And if they aren't to you?" Subaru stepped back, to Beatrice's side with a clap of his hand. "Then we'll do what we've always done: we'll talk, and listen, and respect each other's feelings while doing our best to help one another heal. All of us," Subaru added, gesturing to the spirit, only for his hands to be taken in both of hers.
He smirked down and Betty flushed, gaze flitting off to the side as she shuffled closer against his leg. "That's a decent plan with regards to moving forward, I suppose. I don't want any of us to still be in this restroom, even after the three of us join the others."
"Beatrice," said the queen, who got down on one knee to the sound of threads popping one by one.
"Y-you're straining the tears, Your Grace!" Emilia nodded to her knee, slivers of purple legging squeezing through her whites. Though her face was hidden from view, Subaru could see the red gracing his spirit's ears as she said, "You can tell Betty from up there perfectly fine."
"I don't much care for such things," said Emilia. "This monarch respects her betters. And you were brilliant as ever, Beatrice. Thank you. Thank you for saving me from making a blunder of all this." She shook her head, ears pinkening at the very tips as Emilia looked upon her husband. "I kissed you in front of everybody, Subaru."
Her blushy straight face was so cute. "I didn't mind it."
"I know you didn't," Emilia laughed softly as Betty scoffed, "Perverted, punchable grin."
"That's something I'd never done without a second thought. And…" Emilia almost broke away, but held steady as she gazed upon Subaru, "and I did that in front of Rem—something I didn't even realize I was about to do until I was right in front of you again." Bowing her head, Emilia said, "I'm sorry for being selfish. And I'm sorry that I will be selfish in advance: for anything that might be said or fought about, but—"
"You're stealing my script again, Mili." Subaru cocked his head aside. "C'mon. You know by now the family mantra." Emilia Natsuki nodded with a redder face. As did Beatrice, reluctantly (yet keeping her face hidden) once looking at her.
It was easy to forget in the maelstrom of their lives, the Natsuki Family mantra: that the end, specifically the "how," was what mattered most.
"I agree, Subaru. If your conviction is that strong, then I'll trust it. I have a lot I want to say, and even more I'm not sure how to express, much less begin to, but… but let's take this slowly. It was wrong of me to try and jump you like I nearly did."
"No worries, Mili. Nothing even happened. No harm, no foul." Mom's wisdom echoed in his head, tightly nagging more so than before. "Guess I should actually take my advice to heart, huh?" Subaru laughed despite himself. "You're all being so patient and easy on me despite always forgetting them. It's so pathetic—"
"That's it, o-one condition! O-on one condition is my command! Is what I mean..." Emilia shot up to her feet, fists balled up.
Subaru stiffened at-attention. "Y-yes, my wife, Queen, and Emilia? How might I serve?"
Emilia, taken aback, donned her warmest smile. "You're unflappable. Then, if we're to all move on together, could you stop doubting how much we care and worry for you?" Her eyes shone, a clarity unlike any other thus far. "That's… all, now that I think about it. I wish for you to stop with the tough guy act all the time, alright?" Emilia took his hand—their ring fingers twinkling frostily blue. "You don't have to pretend you aren't hurting anymore. You don't have to fret over saving us anymore. Think of this as the pain we want to feel. To save you. Like you did us, so that we can do silly things like have slumber parties and sandwich parties with a smile. A real one." Emilia finished with the most heartfelt, ruddy-faced of her own. "I love you. I know I'm stronger than I used to be, but I'm not invincible."
"I know. I do."
"Just don't forget, Subaru. We love you and want to help you."
Subaru swallowed hard with a nod he ended facing Emilia's torn dress—a symbol of where her priorities lay. "Right. Starting now, Natsuki family mantra: download complete. Engraved forever." He crossed his heart with it.
"Silly man," Emilia mused.
Tiny fingers squeezed tighter around Subaru's hand. "While I'm sure you could tell," Betty said, turning herself and then Subaru to the door they entered from, "he's been telling the truth to you and I. That wish was not an act."
Emilia led the way. "Indeed. How can you tell?"
"Subaru did not evade our gaze with haste, or deflect with an unfunny quip."
"Right, those are his usual tells."
"It's all for our sake, though, I suppose. How annoying."
"Subaru doesn't conduct himself as such because he always wants to, Beatrice."
"Would you two stop psychoanalyzing me as if I'm not even here?" Subaru cried, shaking their joined hands in front of him.
They meandered on, frowns in either corner of Subaru's eye. Emilia glanced at the same time, their eyes locking before she took a breath. "Subaru," she said, "there is one thing I'd like to make sure of."
"What's that, Mili?"
Her stomach growled in reply, making Emilia grimace and Subaru to snort. "Perhaps we should get something in our bellies, and everyone else gathered, first."
They returned to the reading room with little fanfare, at least none that was blatant. The way everybody's eyes fell on the trio sure felt like it. Subaru felt tension in the air, but it quickly dissipated with Emilia's smile faster than Subaru's ever could (or would again). Dinner came and went similarly; the conversation was smalltalk, with Garf, Ram and Petra flexing their ability to shrug off the mood's weightier vibe with jokes and snipes, and, along with the rest, their day leading to this setup. Despite their own responsibilities, Frederica and the maids present were able to task their underlings to the most pressing of which for the next two days. Same with Garf, who talked up a genuine Hell of a training regiment for the Royal Guard to ensure they don't get sloppy. Otto flushed as he recalled asking for help of the young adults of Irlam—Petra's childhood friends—to assist Frufoo with the procurement of specialty ingredients requested by the kitchen staff. Although no events were coming up, Emilia reminded Subaru of their current gathering: the cooks were being given a break by their queen and a chance to treat themselves. And so Otto's story proceeded, at first sounding cool and dignified until he blurted out that Subaru needed his help, and that of Petra's friends by proxy. The conclusion arrived shortly after, naturally.
"Oh, Otto. Great with kids as always."
"I don't think I did too bad with you, Mister Natsuki."
"Oh dang." Ram sipped her water. "Cabbie is being mean to Barasu. Shall I retrieve my handkerchief? But only if Barasu is about to cry."
"Yeah. I'm wailing over here."
"Fret not, Barasu. My handkerchief is soft with a Ram's conditional love. It shall absorb the brunt of your pitiable bawling."
"Sheesh, Ram. You're being unusually nice," said Subaru.
"I'd say this is my usual niceness." A few chuckles arose as Ram innocently took another sip. At the far end of the table, the farthest person from Subaru continued gazing holes into her once-bitten sandwich. Meili simply stroked the head of her mabeast, watching the juices of hers seep into the bread and turn it yellow. She'd hardly said a word, if any.
"Hey, Meili—?"
"Subaru—!" Emilia tried simultaneously. She peeped, covering her lips. "I'm sorry. You can go first."
'Meili' did almost sound like 'Mili.' Their Mabeast Master glared from the corner of her eye, only to face Subaru suddenly with a complete opposite expression. But then her brows furrowed, her glare trickling back to full as she hugged the critter against her chest.
"I don't wanna embarrass you, now," he called to her, making the dark little lady flush under the sudden pressure of everyone's gaze, "but are you okay? Is it not as good as you thought?" Meili looked confused, then irked by that and then at her meal, a meaty sandwich. Typical of her, but still. A lot of meat for such a tiny girl.
"I'm fine." The way she dropped her cheek on her chin suggested otherwise. "Big Brother Garf merely insisted I try one of his big, dumb 'power meals.'"
"Alright, I hear ya, I won't force it." She wasn't in a chatty mood. Rarely, sure, but now… She'd been left alone to tend to her usual responsibilities with the menagerie, being the only one who could. Ergo, she had been alone with her thoughts like Emilia. And leaving her like this would only make that worse. "Just let me know if you'd like a word, alright? I'll listen to anything you have to say."
"Sure."
"...I'm resisting with all my might, Meili. Just so you know."
She returned her attention back to Subaru. "Resisting what?"
"What else? The urge to presume your feelings and give an embarrassing, grandiose bout of Natsuki Family Wisdom in front of everyone."
"Goodness, please, spare us," Meili said, smirking back at her sandwich.
At least Subaru extended the branch, and got her to smile. "So, Emilia, what's up?" he asked, drawing her from her pitying trance on Meili.
"Oh! Y-yes! So… um…" Her eyes flitted across the table, to the others handing their dishes off to Frederica as she swiftly encircled the table. "So, this is about earlier. What I wanted to ask. And I realized that it's best if we discuss this with everyone else." Though all the crystals in their sconces cast the gathering in a warm, friendly glow, Subaru could sense the chill from before seeping into the atmosphere as Garf lowered his face with a frown, and Rem's expressionlessness went into full effect.
"So, on our wedding night…" Emilia began, to which Subaru stiffened. "On our wedding night, you told me that this was all you fought for." She gestured widely, as if spreading her hands across the whole table. "For love and acceptance; how it's all you cried for and wanted yes?"
"Heh. Feels kinda petty now that you know everything." It felt extremely petty. Subaru's embarrassment burned even while grinning, scratching behind his head.
Emilia's hands folded in her lap. "And th-that's still true, I'm sure?" Subaru realized it was a question as soon as she locked eyes. "Subaru?"
"Err, sorry about that." Subaru tittered, scratching his cheek. It was hot to the touch. "You probably feel at least a little creeped out, I'm sure."
"Completely."
"Thanks, Ram."
"You saved us." On his left, Betty squeezed his fingertips. "You saved us, in fact. That's nothing to be sorry for, I suppose."
"And there's nothing wrong with wanting what you did, Subaru… Subaru? Hey." Emilia's hand urged gently, her smile as sweet as ever. "'Even if the desire's selfish, who isn't?'" Emilia smiled knowingly.
"That's my groundbreaking wisdom you're stealing." Subaru cracked a smirk.
"Even so," Emilia continued, "it wasn't your sole motivator, nor first priority. And that's what makes you a wonderful person, Subaru, so don't lose sight of that." Exhaling with a smile, she said, "I just wanted to make sure of that, so I'm sorry if I made you anxious leading up to such an anticlimax." If only she knew the things he'd done, the mistakes that cost his friends everything countless times. Subaru was glad Emilia came to him with an anticlimax. "So, if my happiness is still your first priority, Subaru—"
"It is! It always will be! Forever." Please don't ever think otherwise. Rem stood to help Frederica without a word, face a blank mask. She took the remains of the meat, cheese, and veggie platters, as well as the bread basket without breaking a sweat or any struggle.
"Al-alrighty then, easy enough. Then let us be the loved ones you wanted and I'll be perfectly happy for the year." Emilia smirked like she'd outmaneuvered Anastasia at the negotiating table. "Understand what that entails, darling husband?" Her smile turned knowing.
"Indeed I do, my adoring wife. Feels like I learn this every time something bad happens, but for once, I get it right off the bat." And Subaru had little excuse to lie anymore besides.
"Then trust Betty, at least." The spirit's gaze was low and out of sight, more so than usual. "And Emilia; you can trust her just as much, I suppose."
"The hell're the rest of us? Chopped liver?"
"Yeah!" Petra shot up from her seat alongside Garf—two peas in a pod, those guys.
"Indeed," Emilia agreed. "You have a big responsibility, Subaru, ensuring these relationships you've fought for are accounted and tended to in light of your power."
"You don't have to tell me twice. Believe me."
"R-right. Of course. You must recognize that better than anyone, after all," said Emilia.
"And you've done a wonderful job thus far, Your Grace, if I do say so myself," said Frederica, platter-laden by the door with Rem, who nodded, a small smile the only thing coloring the hair-covered part of her face.
"Subaru has a way with words."
"Ha!" Ram barked. "Barasu has charisma and wit but he's a veritable madman with a box of explosives as far as I'm concerned."
"It hurts how accurate that is," Subaru whimpered as the two maids departed for the kitchen.
Otto tittered unevenly. "Well, Mister Natsuki may be rough around the edges, and might have made mistakes we don't recall. But as far as I'm concerned, the fact that we're able to talk about them now means he learned from them. And that's good enough for me to forgive him, anyway."
A harsh scoff from Ram made Garf amusedly roll his eyes beside her. "Don't lump Ram in with the depressive bunch. I hold no ill will for Barasu's epic blunders over the years, considering there's many not even his power could save him from." Her smirk made Subaru chuckle sheepishly.
"Heh. Yeah." Man, she's hard to read. But at least she's not like Emilia or Meili, and that's a nice change of pace. "Still, though, some of the stuff I've done to you guys—"
"Then let us save you the way you've saved us," said Emilia, Petra chiming in, "Right! If you can't forgive yourself, then help us forgive ourselves!"
"Petra?" murmured Emilia, to Garf and even Ram's surprise.
Meili reached for her friend's yellow sleeve. "You're getting ahead of yourself—"
"I don't care, I don't!" Petra shook her head, leaning over the table, down towards Subaru. "Please, Subaru—this is so selfish and immature of me, and please don't tell Big Sis Frederica, but please! We can save each other the way you always did for us, we can make it up to you! For...! F-for everything," she muttered, then aloud, "I know you'll forgive us for the nasty things we've always done, so please, help us—!"
"Petra, woah, hold up. First of all, you've never been nasty to me. Second…" There was supposed to be a second, anyway, if not for the pain flashing across Petra's face as she hurriedly reclaimed her seat. "Um…"
"Sorry. That was outta line, Subaru."
Emilia waved in reassurance. "You're fine, Petra. I understand what you're trying to say, actually." She turned her expression firmly on Subaru. "Let us fight for you, too. I believe that's what Petra is trying to say. Let us be hurt alongside you. Let's bandage all the pain we surely caused one another over the years, all that was inflicted without ever meaning or intending to. Let's move forward to the future, with our arms around each other's shoulders! Yes," Emilia breathed, nodding with a smile, "yes, that would make me most happy, Subaru. As your queen I command you to fulfill one of your deepest desires, and as your wife, I ask that you make Emilia Natsuki the happiest half-elf who ever lived."
"Uh, yeah!" said Garf. "And as your pals, what she said."
Why was she so good to him? Who allowed any of these guys to be so amazing? "Well, when you throw some of my wedding vows back at me—"
She nudged their shoulders together. "Oh, stop, you lifted some of it from me and we both know it."
"Only because of that boost I gave you back at Sanctuary!"
"All because I made you a better man when you first came to this world, if I recall correctly."
"This banter is making Betty queasy."
"And you talk of that 'boost' like it was nothing," Emilia continued. "Just how many times did it take before I finally got all of it through my head? Enough to complete the first trial?" Emilia laughed… then tittered… and finally frowned in Subaru's silence. "Subaru?"
"One try."
"Huh?"
He made sure he was looking her in the eye as he said, "It took me one go of actually sitting down and talking to you. Rather than giving an empty pep talk." Subaru tried to smile, but… " That took me about five tries, if memory serves."
"Wait, in Sanctuary, right?" Garf was upright, his face unusually set. "So, tell me, Boss, what exactly made you take five tries?"
A chair groaned as it flew away from Meili, shooting upright. Her glare was on her empty placement, breathing hard. She didn't leave, however; she was forcing herself to listen, Subaru realized.
They wanted to hear everything they put Subaru through.
The dying and the horror—all because of his ineptitude, sure, but that's not how it would be in their eyes.
"We love you, Subaru," Emilia whispered in his ear. Her eyes were moist. "Trust me."
"S-save us." Petra, soft at first, said aloud and towards her king and queen, "Save us one more time, Subaru. Emilia. Save us by allowing us to save you."
Garf nodded firm. "Kid's got bite, m' feelin' like a weakling over here. But yeah, she's got a point. Boss?" His huge arms bulged as they crossed. "Go an' give us a good hurtin'. Tell us what's what, like the dumbasses we are. That's all I care about." Otto was pale, and curdled further as Garf all but punched him in the arm. "Chin up, bro! M'sure out of all of us, you've done the least."
"That actually makes me feel worse, thanks."
Subaru snorted. "You guys. Alright, well, if you insist…" He made to stand, palms out on either side for Beatrice and Emilia to take. "Let's settle on the sofas again, and wait for Frederica and… and Rem."
Where to Even Start?
