In spite of his determination to spare Beatrice any heartbreak, in spite of comprehending the bond between a spirit and a contractor, in spite of everything he swore as they clung to one another, crying like they had been…

Subaru's wish for her to live, in the off-chance that she could after a reset, was driving him up a wall, while the thought of voicing it made him want to scream. Beatrice wasn't going to have any of it. She would fight and kick and scream, whatever it took to break Subaru's heart until it caved in.

But it wouldn't hurt, right? Suggesting it?

Subaru told himself not to be selfish. It wouldn't hurt. He couldn't be selfish when it came to Beako's life.

Subaru told himself one more time that there was no harm in asking as he took a breath. "Beatrice?" he uttered, light and quick.

It was unusual enough to make Beatrice flinch in their embrace. "Yes?" she replied in kind.

"In… if you…" He really needed Beatrice to deal with Daphne. How can I think that when I want the others to—? Beatrice was more than a tool, she was more than a damned trump card. "Would you ever—" 'Want,' Subaru almost blurted out. "Would you be able to… to live in a world without me?"

Beatrice's hot little breaths puffed against his neck as she failed to take in enough air. She was likely racing to find a response that wouldn't be spoiled by her verbal tic.

A minute passed before she whispered, "Please don't send Betty away."

And that was all it took. Ram's right, Subaru thought, nodding both to Beatrice and himself. I'm such an asshole.

Less than an hour later, Subaru and Beatrice were visited by a knock on the door. Both looked up from a page they'd been staring through since opening the book. Something on crop rotations.

"Yeah?" Subaru yelled hoarsely. Clearing his throat he amended, "What's up?"

"My King, my apologies for the hour, but, is this a bad time?"

Subaru blinked, Beatrice's face lifting straight up to exchange odd looks with him. "Uh, sure, Frederica! I mean, no! What's up?"

Down the length of their bed, across the Royal Chamber, the door clicked open with barely a sound. It swung open wide, not all the way—only halfway, enough for a blonde woman as big as Garfiel to glide inside despite her size. Something kept her body turning towards where she came upon entering, gaze lingering in the hall. Subaru couldn't see anything before Frederica closed it softly with both hands, turning with them folded on her apron.

Frederica took a breath, stopped, and inhaled once more. "My King, forgive me for troubling you at such an inopportune time." Her green eyes were unflinching as always.

"No worries!" Subaru lifted Betty and plopped her down beside him before swinging his legs over the opposite side of the bed. "What's happening?" He stood, brushing imaginary dust off his hands; whatever it took to get Frederica to ease up. "Did the help arrive?"

"No, not yet. M-my King." She gave an awkward half-curtsy.

"At ease, soldier. What's on your mind?" Subaru turned back to the bed after meeting Frederica. "Shall we move somewhere private?"

"Hmph!" Beatrice wrenched her poutiness aside, doing nothing more to voice her displeasure at this reasonable request.

Frederica waved her hands before further action could occur. "N-no, this isn't—! I mean, Lady Beatrice…" Frederica's mouth hid behind a hand. "It would actually be beneficial if she stayed where she was."

"Gladly, in fact." Beatrice nestled deeper into their wall of pillows for emphasis.

"I would like, if possible…" Frederica kept her teeth obscured as she lowered her voice, "for your blessing to—"

The door flew open, crashing against the wall in the midst of a single word that sounded like, "Only if our king wishes it!" A maid whose fiery hair sat as a familiar braid on her shoulder turned a drinking glass in her hands. The ear-cupping statues of Rem and Otto scrambled to hide themselves behind either side of the doorway, giving way to a deadpanned, cross-armed Meili.

Petra looked left and right at her hidden coworkers, utterly betrayed as Frederica turned her huge self fully towards the intrusion. "You turn into a bad girl at the most inconvenient of times, sweet Petra."

Her junior stiffened at the assessment, but only for a moment before Petra furrowed her brows. "I-I still don't think that—I mean, Queen Emilia—!"

The skit-that-definitely-wasn't-a-skit still was silly enough to bolster Subaru's mood. "Hello~ Petra," he crooned, waving, "Mei-Mei, and no one else . A bit too old to be eavesdropping, aren'cha?" Subaru raised his voice a little for that last line.

"I myself didn't hear a single word you said in there." Meili turned her nose up. "I'm only here because Petra asked."

Otto stepped into view, keeping his hat steady. "Actually, she dragged you."

"B-because I knew Mister Otto was going to spoil it somehow!" argued the sixteen-year-old who spoiled it. "He's always so weird and clumsy!"

"Was the personal opinion necessary, also, how can something 'weird' inherently ruin a surprise?!" Otto stiffened as he finally noticed his king. Petra blinked tiredly, rubbing her eyes. "Err, M-Mister Natsuki, allow me to explain! You see, Her Highness, the Queen—!"

Rem poked her head out. "This is all my responsibility. Sincere apologies." Petra stepped aside (and into Otto, making him grunt) for her elder to stand, allowing Rem to genuinely bend her upper body low. "There's no excuse to be found here, only the selfish concern of a servant for her masters."

So Rem, not Frederica, was the ringleader? Why, for what purpose? "One at a time! One at a time!" There were too many people here, suddenly; too many differing minds, all individuals that Subaru cared about. "N-not that I mind a surprise party, but what's got you all so worked up?" It was only a matter of time before Garfiel saw to the commotion outside his room. And where was Emilia?

And on cue, yet another body all but swung itself into the room Emilia braced herself on the doorway—her station like a forcefield that pushed a wide-eyed Rem into the other two on her right. "I had a terrible feeling that…" she gasped, words dying as she took in the Head Maid.

"Frederica," Emilia mumbled,

Petra tried to raise her voice. "I-I tried to stop them, Em—Queen Emilia."

"Didn't you barge in saying you'd do whatever I wished, Petra?" Subaru's question made the girl "eep." Seems she was about as conflicted as everybody else.

Emilia seemed to miss the exchange as her grip on the doorway fell limply against her side. "You, too? Frederica?" Her eyes glimmered at this betrayal, whatever it was.

Subaru stepped in a place where he could see both their faces, and found Frederica making one he only ever saw in her greatest moments of doubt or shame. It was technically a first in history: Frederica biting her bottom lip hard enough to embed a bloody groove in the flesh. "My… sincerest apologies, my Queen," she seethed, clenching the sides of her dress a moment before those strong, green eyes stared down Emilia. "But I do believe I made my answer clear. What happens next depends on… our king," she finished softly, turning to Subaru as though just realizing where she was.

"S-Subaru." Emilia's hands were clasped guiltily against her breast. "Subaru, I'm sorry, I-I explained it to them, but… th-they wouldn't…" She shook her head, whimpering.

"Can someone please explain what you're all doing here?" Deep down, Subaru knew the answer. He wanted it done already. Maybe even this loop altogether.

"Indeed. The lot of you ought to make your point quickly, before scattering yourselves equally fast, I suppose." Two fingers were gripped tight. "You're only making Subaru anxious, in fact."

Frederica said lightly, "That would have been the case, Lady Beatrice, had I not been interrupted." Subaru could only wonder why she was at the vanguard instead of Rem, the apparent instigator.

"Big Sis Frederica, I really don't think Subaru's gonna—!" Petra was silenced by a calm raising of the Head Maid's hand.

Frederica donned her warmest close-lipped smile, fighting to muster it by the way its corners wilted. "The decision is my own, Petra."

"Y-you can't, though!" she cried. "There's no point, Subaru doesn't even want you to—!"

"You're the little sister I never had." Frederica's words, gentle as they were, was the needle popping Petra's composure as she burst out crying, trying to smother them in her hands. Frederica's smile pained. "Live rightly and elegantly, without any regrets. That's your final duty as a maid of Lugnica Castle, Petra."

When Petra took a harsh, hoarse breath, teeth gnashed, Subaru fully expected this foreboding farewell to turn into a full-on screaming match. Petra went back to crying mutedly into a hand. "No, Meili!" Petra sobbed, shrugging out of her friend's hand and into Otto's descent to one knee. He wrapped her in his cloak so snug that only Petra's shock of orange hair could be seen beneath his trembling, closed expression.

Only then did Meili's hand retreat within her cloak, face lowering out of sight. It seemed she hadn't changed her mind about staying to fight, much to Petra's displeasure.

After all, Petra was the only one who submitted to Subaru's attempt to save them, if only partially.

Frederica still hadn't turned to face Subaru and Beatrice by the time yet another feline face poked its way over Emilia's head. "The hell's goin' on?" asked Garf. A horrible part of Subaru was relieved, and terrified—it was finally time. This has gone on far enough. Their Sworn Shield's eyes widened as his lips parted into a snarl. "Big Sis, you'd better not be—"

"I am my own person, Garfiel," said the one asking her king for permission about something. "You don't have any say over how I choose to serve."

The second after her words hit, Garf's slack expression flared with fury. "Bull- shit I don't!" He didn't heed Emilia's soft grunt as he practically lunged past her, forcing her a little into the doorway. "S'fuckin' suicide!" Before Subaru could find his voice, Garfiel had his claws gripping Frederica by the shoulders. "Why? Why the f—?! Why're ya determined t' get yerself killed, eh?! What about this's more important than your girls or me?!"

" Everything , Garfiel!" With strength rarely displayed outside of battle, Frederica brought her fists up before they flew apart, sending Garf's hold flying off her, his person staggering slightly. "The brave Knights who will be slaughtered tomorrow, and all those men and women with pitchforks and pikes, who will never again see the families they'd left behind this morning!" Rem nodded encouragingly, or perhaps in agreement as Frederica regarded them all—all but Subaru and Beatrice. "And then there's the aftermath to consider, how the country will be in utter disarray with their king and queen's passing, not to mention the sudden slaughter of hundreds of our defenders! We'll be helpless , assuming the Witches of Sin are satisfied with anything less than scorched earth! And who knows of the alliances Emilia and Subaru have spent the last year, forging with the neighboring kingdoms? Will they come to their aid, or finish off the Dragon Empire of Lugnica while its current Sword Saint is still being potty trained?" Petra cried louder as Otto redoubled his efforts. Frederica shut her eyes, breathing deep; she'd forgone their titles back there, Subaru had the time to process. "Above all else, ignoring all of that, beyond any notion of self-preservation I find myself faced with a choice I never thought I'd have to make." Placing a hand on her heart, Frederica swore, "However, when it comes down to it, the number one purpose of a maid is to ensure the comfort of her masters—a duty that carries more weight now than ever."

Garf took this all in and was seething moments later. "The Boss, don't need you, t' throw your damn life away for NO FUCKIN' REASON!" he cracked, his eyes flashed wetly.

"Of course he doesn't, this isn't for so shallow a reason!" Frederica cried, fists balled at her sides. "After all, I'm well- aware of my limitations in the coming battle!" Without range, without great strength, without much room for technique in her beast form, Frederica was as good as dead against virtually any of the Witches.

"So why the hell 're ya so dead-set on repayin' 'im with your blood?!"

"This isn't a matter of repayment, Garf, just listen—"

"There ain't nothin' to talk about!" His claw swept the air in front of her harshly enough to stir Frederica's hair. "You're comin' with me, all'a you! Even if I hafta knock each an' every one o' yous out cold, an' drag yer asses outta here my-fuckin'-self!" He snarled this to Petra, Otto, Meili and Rem, before resettling on Frederica. "So… what's it gonna be? Sis? "

Frederica's apprehension, anger, and pain all seemed to settle down in the face of Garfiel's threat. Frederica, who had no way of knowing the conspiracy between her king and her brother, said, "Apologies, little brother, but I'm afraid that's not your call." She turned to the one with that unbearable responsibility, tearful eyes contrasting the blood streaking down her chin.

Subaru found his voice, "Frederica," and that was all. He was speechless, and confused, and scared, and wishing this wouldn't go to its obvious destination; with that in mind, Subaru added a pitiable, "Please…"

Frederica's anticipation gave way to her warm, if bloodied, toothy smile. Now of all times, she forgot to cover it. "My King Subaru… I ask that you heed my conviction." The tension left her voice, but not her body as Subaru's legs trembled from the crashing of Frederica's knees upon the floor, followed by her hands. "My King, I beseech you." The final rumble was felt not surging up Subaru's legs, but deep within his core as her forehead touched the beige-marble tiling. "It's no small request that I ask you: permit me to stand, and fight, and die by my king and queen's sides. To do so would make me eternally happy, no regrets to be had. That is all." Frederica hunched, exerting more pressure on her forehead. "That is all," she echoed, softly.

But what about my regrets? He was selfish enough to think that. What about the pain that I'm powerless to save you from? Otherwise, Subaru was still recovering from the sight of her prostration—to replicate his culture's brand of heartfelt sincerity was… it was…

He couldn't decide on any of the dozens of emotions writhing for release in his chest. "Freder—"

"And I ask the same!" Rem swore, hand on her heart. It clenched into a fist as their requests went on unanswered. "Please, Subaru… I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do something to help you in this fight, I can't, just thinking about it is driving me absolutely crazy ."

Subaru held up his hands. "Wait." He braced himself on his knees, having to ignore Betty's concern in the corner of his eye if he wanted to collect his thoughts. "Just… just wait—lemme see if I got this right." In all his shock and heartache, Subaru wanted to ask if it was really duty that reduced Frederica to this, or the notion of a certain Hell awaiting them in the aftermath, regardless of whether or not she lived to see another day.

Frederica denied—or perhaps indirectly confirmed—all of these without lifting her head: "If a maid's duty is to prioritize the comfort and peace-of-mind of her masters," she said waveringly, "then it would bring me no greater happiness if I could do something to prevent another agonizing end for my king, Subaru." At last, her blonde hair lifted. Frederica's bloody chin trembled, her feral eyes unflinching despite how they watered. "Whether that's reducing such a possibility in the fight itself, or… or ending it… with my own two hands—" Frederica hesitated, a tearful Emilia gasping behind her; Petra shrilled, and Meili and Otto paled as their faces crumpled, "—then it shall be done, if it's the last thing I do in this world." Garf spat.

Without a thought driving him, Subaru's head turned left. Then it turned right. To and fro he shook as he took a step back. "S-so you're saying you… are willing to kill me if—?"

"I meant no offense." Shock overtook Frederica's determination before lowering her face once more. "I meant no offense, I meant no offense," she murmured hastily. "My mind is one currently vying to ease your pain. If this is what you need of me instead of in the fight, then I shall stand stalwart by my king's side in anticipation of a signal. I assure you, my knowledge of the human body is impeccable. You will not feel a thing, Subaru, of this I promise you. I promise you!"

How?

How could anybody reasonably respond to something like that?

It was time. It was time. "Garf?!" Subaru couldn't take anymore heartbreak.

"A-as will I!" Rem's voice broke as she at last entered the room, forgetting all manners as she started to lower herself to her knees beside Frederica. "If that's what it takes, to keep Subaru from screaming when he Returns again—!"

"If anyone is to do such a wretched thing, it shall be Betty, I suppose!" Beatrice stormed over to Rem, shoving her upright before she could bow. "Meanwhile you ought to stop feeling concerned about your feelings and consider Subaru's for once in your life, I suppose!"

"Garf, snap out of it, man!" Subaru couldn't say 'no' again, he couldn't argue again. He wanted them safe. Safe and sound and hating him if need be. "GARFIEL!" Petra's cries subsided, but now Meili's choked sobs were part of it as they clung to one another, Otto beside them staring a thousand yards through Emilia, who regarded a debating Beatrice and Rem the same way. Frederica continued awaiting Subaru's answer, and so was Garf from the looks of it.

This was what Return by Death did to them. "Garf." Subaru's voice was the softest it's been since this started, and yet that tugged the Royal Aegis out of his conflicted stupor. "Let it go, man. There's no point in arguing."

His green eyes darkened with but a single, relenting nod.

Out of everybody, it was Meili—glaring tearfully over Petra's throbbing shoulders—that Subaru couldn't bear the sight of.

Subaru and Emilia stood in the center of the foyer alongside Beatrice, tugging at their royal threads. The garb of a king and queen was bulky and extravagant, and made the couple feel utterly out of their depth whenever the robes hung heavy on their shoulders. Same went for their respective crowns.

"I hate having to wear these rabbit ears of ours."

Emilia turned, still holding his hand. "It's all part of the job, Subaru. And it won't be for long this time."

"Can't you join me in my griping for once, Mili?" After a day like this, having to play the part of Lugnica's monarchs felt like an annoying cherry on top.

"Shush, you two, I suppose. I sense a displeasing aura approaching."

That could only mean one thing, to Subaru's shock, although he should have expected him to join this fight as well. After what had happened in the garage, he didn't deserve to be so elated to see a friend joining the fray.

The lords nearest to the capital, all those living within a day's ride, had at last arrived after midnight, peasant infantry and provisions in tow. It was the best the kingdom could muster on short notice. At the head of the gathering, (and likely behind them, too, whip in hand) was the Duchess Crusch Karsten, famously loyal to the royal couple, as well as loyally famous in the heart of people for her noble feats throughout Subaru's victories—an accidental side-effect of his relationship with the duchess and Return by Death.

Those same feats nearly earned her this castle a year ago, the last time he and Emilia saw the duchess in a casual setting. Not that this was casual. And not that it would suddenly be casual once "the Waiting Game, ft. Witches of Sin" really kicked off.

How would Crusch evaluate Subaru's character, once the truth was known? Subaru still wasn't sure if she ought to know; should probably decide that first. What actual use would Crusch have, knowing it? Not that it would be that a big deal if she was told; a friend, to be sure, but not like the others present at Subaru's current checkpoint. Was it an issue of trust, then? Crusch would believe him, obviously. Her Divine Protection ensured it. But Crusch was an amazing person with a sharp judge of character—and that was enough reason to not worry while simultaneously thinking of nothing but concerns.

I guess I just wanna know what she'd think of me.

His hands were let go as two Knights of Lugnica opened front doors of the castle, allowing ten road-weary, well-dressed noble's sons and daughters to follow in the wake of a firm woman in military-looking garb. Flanking either side of her were two white-coated Knights, eternally pledged to her House by the blessing of Queen Emilia.

The first of the trio to do away with their travel-tired face was Felix Karsten. "Heya, lovebirds~" He waved, fingers curled like a cat's paw.

"My Lieges." Crusch put an arm across her breast for a bow.

At the same time, Julius did the same except he took a knee. "Your Graces."

Emilia maintained her welcoming smile, gesturing for them to rise with an utterance of, "Friends, welcome."

"We truly appreciate you all for answering our summons on such short notice," said Subaru.

Felix's ears twitched, a smirk playing across his lips. "Well, of cyourse!"

Crusch nodded stiffly. "When we're called to defend our kingdom, treason is the only explanation for delay." Julius nodded agreement alongside her words, maintaining his demeanor with the present company at their backs—many of whom stiffened in turn. Perhaps Subaru's fantasy of Crusch with a herding whip wasn't too outlandish.
"My loyal Ladies and Lords," Emilia began, gracefully raising her hand up the stairwell, "you must all be exhausted after such a long, impromptu journey to the capital. We have several Knights awaiting your arrival just up the stairs and to your left. They will show you to our finest guestrooms and bathing area."

"Thank fuck," exhaled a guy who let his shoulders sag. Crusch's brow twitched; Subaru gulped back laughter.

Emilia gave no further instruction or explanation, preferring to let her silence usher the gaggle upstairs while maintaining eye contact with the duchess, who suddenly barked without flinching, "Lord Josby!" Many froze with a wince, but only the young man who cursed under his breath lingered as the rest continued their ascent.

Finally Crusch's scorching-amber eyes flickered up to meet his own. "I'm interested to hear what your Lord Father thinks with regards to his son's composure before the Queen and King of Lugnica."

"Y-yes, Lady—"

"Duchess."

"D-Duchess Karsten, yes. I… as well," he sighed, much less eager to turn in than he had several paces ago.

Once Josby vanished deeper within the castle, and the Knights who greeted everyone turned in with a bow, it was just the royal family with the household of Karsten left in the foyer.

At last, Julius allowed himself to take off his proverbial armor—smiling warm as he approached with open arms. "Subaru."

"Hey, man." They collided with one another, Julius uttering "Old friend" while they embraced one another tight. "Been a minute," said Subaru.

"A year, actually." Julius clapped him on the back once before pulling away, his smile maintaining as it shone on Emilia.

"My fair Queen." He bowed smoothly.

"Julius." Emilia happily wrapped her arms around him, Julius's floating stiffly around her before awkwardly, but firmly, closing around his other old friend.

Subaru shared a similar exchange with the duchess. "Heya, Crusch."

"Subaru Natsuki—" Crusch 'uff'd at the suddenness of his affection, or perhaps it was his urgency; Subaru was really glad to see her, he realized. "Salutations." Her arms lightly closed around Subaru, patting him once on the shoulder blade, twice… and lingering there.

She really is an amazing person. Subaru was glad she got her memories back. It was an honor to face Crusch Karsten down in the final round of the Royal Selection.

At the same time, Felix was throwing his hands in the air. "Beatrice!"

She latched onto Subaru's hand. "You can admire Betty from afar, I suppose." The catboy tittered good-naturedly before turning for the queen.

"Emiliya!"

"Felix—!" she grunted, staggering from the sudden glomping of the kingdom's finest healer. "Hiya! Hi," she said sweetly, squeezing Felix back.

"Lady Beatrice." Crusch bowed to the Great Spirit.

Julius did the same, taking one step back first like it was a performance. "It genuinely warms my heart to see you three are as close as ever."

"Likewise, in fact." Beatrice's expression said otherwise, even though she meant that.

Felix suddenly yanked Emilia out in front of him, uncaring of their difference in stations. "You three look so haggard! What's going on? Tell us—!" Felix sounded like a worried mother before choking on his wordflow, eased off of the queen by his wife.

"We're concerned," Crusch explained, keeping her hands on Felix's shoulders. "Urgency and vagueness together make for a troubling circumstance, or so we presumed." She bent her head forward, Felix following, ears wilted. "Forgive our delay. When we communicated via metia, I intended for us to arrive by sunset."

"However," Julius continued, "many of the outskirt fiefdoms had… difficulties responding in a timely manner."

"Some of 'em still resist ya, Emiliya." Felix's somberness darkened. "Even though ya saved their sorry hides."

"Well," said Subaru, shrugging, "half-elf prejudice aside, bolstering the poor means taking from the rich, so…"

Emilia shook her head at Felix. "They sent their precious sons and daughters to come to my aid, entrusting their lives to me." Subaru matched the death grip she snapped around his hand. "It's a sign of how much faith they have in a queen like me…"

"With second sons and daughters, nyeah," Felix muttered before being chopped in the back of the head by a Julius who was joining his other side, away from Beatrice.

"This was the best I could manage as quickly as possible," Crusch concluded. "Alongside an approximate three-hundred infantry and one-hundred horses. With provisions enough to feed ourselves and your full staff for two days should a siege arise."

At the mention of their own household, Felix observed the foyer, it's walls, and stood on his tiptoes to peer over the king and queen's shoulders. "Say, where is everyone, anyee-way?"

"Yes. I would like a chance to spar with Garfiel again before the battle, if that's possible," said Julius. "I'm interested to see how much stronger he's gotten."

Subaru's mind went blank. For some reason he looked to Emilia, then Beatrice, as if expecting them to bail him out. They reflected the gloom in his chest.

Licking his lips, Subaru regarded the curious Crusch and her retinue.

The nighttime air was warm and smelled nostalgically of rain on hot pavement. Smooth, beige brickwork comprised the castle's dragon and wagon "garage" that darkened with dampness beyond the protection of its ceiling, outside its open gates. It had apparently been raining, though outside peeked a sliver of dark sky blasted with stars, just above the soft glow of Lugnica's capital in the distance.

On either side of a familiar, trusty red stagecoach shone the golden words, 'Mister Otto's House of Horrors.' Petra and Garfiel had come up with that one; on weekends, most of the castle was open for tours of its expansive grounds and interior. Although Emilia decreed that such closeness to royalty ought to be free, Otto had a donation box hanging from the driver's seat. Ever since, his room held an ever-increasing stack of lockboxes full of copper and silver coins; Otto was quite popular with the female tourists.

Because of this public relations venture, and originally due to Emilia's expanding inner-circle, Otto's wagon had become a short train of two. It was carted by Patrasche alongside Frufoo when set up like this, like right now.

"Hey, girl." Patrasche turned her pointed muzzle at Subaru as he stroked her throat. "You're gonna be carrying some irreplaceable cargo, so you perform as if I were holding the reins." She chirruped softly in response, bowing to bump Subaru's head with hers. "Thanks," he laughed, dragging his hand up her rough scales, stroking Patrasche below the jaw. She wagged her tail, clueless as to what was about to happen here tomorrow. "Thanks for everything…"

Footsteps, a crowd of them, shuffled up from behind. Foremost in the glow of the wagon's lantern rushed right by Subaru, yanked the first coach's door open and clambered inside before he could see her face. Not even Petra could say a word to him. Otto was already climbing into the driver's seat the same way, though it took a couple tries to find his footing. Frederica followed her junior in a similar fashion.

Or, she was about to, before she stepped down and took a breath.

"Don't," Subaru asked her quickly. "Please."

Frederica shut her mouth, green eyes wide and intense. "It is not my place to say, but I believe you're making a mistake, my King."

"Saving your lives will never be a mistake. I won't ever think that that's a mistake." Subaru said this after turning to face Emilia and Beatrice, holding hands and looking somber.

"I love my life," Frederica continued behind him. "I love my juniors and coworkers. I love my Queen, and my King." Her voice started to fail, but Frederica added nothing more before Otto's carriage squeaked a little from her weight.

From within the caste itself, everyone, save Ram, jolted at the sound of a bloodcurdling, "NO!" The entrance to the castle interior burst open, orange light cutting across the garage floor in a broad fan. Within that fan lumbered a shadow: Garfiel with a thrashing form over his shoulder.

"No, big brother, no-no-NO! "

He kept his glare firm. "Sorry kid, I—"

"SUBARU, PLEASE!" Meili bawled, making Garfiel recoil and slacken enough to thrash out of his hold.

"H-hey!" he cried, reaching a hand out before giving chase to Meili's stumbling, clawing-across-the-stone self. She somehow beat him the short distance to Subaru, who didn't process she was dashing towards him until Meili was suddenly thrown unto her back. The cause—a purple forcefield—dissipated as Beatrice lowered her hand.

"Please, don't trouble Subaru more than you already have, Meili."

"Don't do this to me… Please don't make me do this…" She sat there, crying, as tears rolled down her round face. Meili's every sob chipped away at Subaru's resolve. This is for your own good, he told himself, shutting his eyes of the sight.

"C'mon." The moment Garf's hand wrapped around Meili's arm, she tore herself from his hold.

"I can do it myself!" she snapped. Meili staggered, hiccuping and sniffling as she pushed herself to her feet. Standing tall, her eyes slid open to meet with Subaru's. Meili's glare wavered under his own—urged by constant thoughts of 'Don't bend, don't break.' She crossed her arms, clutching at her baggy sleeves, though Meili was grabbing at the inside of one.

Whatever she wanted to say dissipated with a squeaky snarl as she wrenched away, making for the second wagon. Not Petra's. Meili came to a halt before opening the carriage door. She turned. She opened her eyes, regarding Emilia before settling on Subaru. It was a look that gave him sudden chills.

"Th'ih—! This's for all the future Meilis whose hearts you won't dare break, Subaru!" she cracked, yanking a dagger from her sleeve. Otto exclaimed while Emilia cried her name.

Meili stabbed it towards her heart. "Let this be a painful lesson—!" A ghostly hand shot forth, yanking the weapon still in her fist overhead. She screamed and kicked, one foot barely brushing the ground.

"You damned brat!" Subaru cracked, realizing that Meili had just tried to kill herself to make a point. The "lesson" ended as quick as it began, and Subaru learned all there was to know from it. "Yeah, saw that one comin' from a mile away." He'd been praying she wouldn't try this.

"You—!" Petra's fury appeared in the window, her chin crumpled and shuddering. "How could you, Meili?!"

"I don't care!"

"You promised! You promised we would live together for Subaru's sake—! "

"I don't… CARE!" Meili screamed in dismay, and that dismay deteriorated into frustration, and finally grief—all in one, elongated howl. Amidst her breakdown, Meili's fingers sprung open, the knife clattering on stone. Amidst Petra's crying and Frederica's murmurs of comfort, Subaru didn't release Invisible Providence until Garf had his big hands around Meili's waist and was hoisting her inside. She put up no further resistance. Subaru believed he had thoroughly broken Meili's spirit.

Rem stood behind their shoulders, her face set, hands folded on her apron. With a blink, her gaze floated down towards the little girl holding Emilia's hand. "It's time, Lady Beatrice."

She didn't look in Rem's direction. "I'm afraid you're mistaken. Subaru has already decided who to keep by his side, in fact."

Gasping soundlessly, Rem gripped the front of her dress, a light returning to her eyes that filled Subaru with dread. "Th-then I, too, shall—!"

"Rem, please, STOP MAKING THIS HARDER! " Rem flinched, and only then did Subaru recall that she was the one who instigated the show in the Royal Chambers. Even so, her heart was in the right place. Subaru was definitely going to cave if she got going, so he had to instead. They had to leave. They had to be safe.

"Seriously, what is with you guys?" he sincerely wondered. "You think I'm doing this to be the hero, that I'm the only one who deserves to suffer?"

"That's what it sounds like."

Subaru whirled on Ram, all but invisible until now. "Then you need to get your ears checked, because I'm well - aware of how completely shitty this is. And you wanna know the damning thing? It feels like I'm the only one with any self-awareness here!"

"Don't take this displeasing reality out on us, Barasu. The adversity you now face is all a culmination of your choices, and your response is to run and shift the blame. Truly shameful."

She was as correct as she was unspeakably ignorant. "Shifting blame? Shifting blame? Who the hell is shifting blame?! None of you are hearing a word I'm saying!"

"Because you've said absolutely nothing," snapped Ram. "Stop screaming like a madman. You're a king, act like it."

"Ohh… my God. "

"I'm serious, Barasu. You've not said a single thing to virtually any of us since this morning. Nothing except to fight, then to run. Why are you getting frustrated with this situation you made yourself?"

Subaru guffawed to the heavens that cursed him. "It's because it is my fault, and this me tryna make up for it! What, so everything would be a-O-freaking-K if I spilled my guts out all over again? If I gave you all the glorious details of my miserable failures in Technicolor, then you'd wanna hightail it outta here?!" Frederica and Petra were in the window. "Tell me, what good would that have done for you or me?" Rem was breathing hard, wide-eyed. "Tell me!" Otto had been hunched over, face in his hat. "Exactly. It wouldn't change anything."

"W-we would understand, and be able to help you—"

"You wouldn't, though, Rem." She allowed hurt to show this time, and Subaru closed his eyes of the sight. "None of you gets what it's like. Nobody does until they experience it—how it feels to die, to get torn apart and eaten alive, or disemboweled, or burned alive, or drowned, nothing! It hurts to die! Understand?! It hurts to DIE from horrible, unimaginable pain!" Subaru's vision blurred, splotching the brick belowwith droplets; prickles wracked Subaru's body, his innards, still… Still, he felt the rabbits gnawing him all over. "And that's not even the worst part." Subaru closed his eyes, seeing everyone get massacred again and again and again, even to this day, in countless different ways. "You've no idea how much it truly kills me to watch any of you suffer through that, all because of my mistakes. I can't stand it. I can't bear it, I just can't. I'm a weak coward, I know, but this is what I need to do in order to keep going with this shit!"

Sniffling, wiping his cheeks, he addressed the somber faces all around him. "You wanna make me feel better? You want me to stop crying and having nightmares? Then stop getting yourselves killed. Stop thinking about how to die without regrets. Just stop. Stop and think about how that'd make me feel, for once in your damned lives!" If hypocrisy could kill, Subaru would be back at the checkpoint.

He kept his eyes squeezed shut and on the ground as Rem wordlessly shuffled to the open stagecoach. She kept her head lowered. "I'm sorry, sorry for everything," was whispered before the wagon creaked with Rem's occupancy.

"I know. Me, too." Subaru did his best to ignore his wife's choked, muted crying, much as he wanted to console her; he knew she was fighting her own internal battle regarding him. It gave Subaru no pleasure to say all that in front of Beatrice and her.

"Alright, Ramm so you wanna do this the easy way, or the hard way?" asked Garf, gesturing inside.

"As if 'the hard way' will work in your favor." But Ram took the invitation with crossed arms. And, of course, she also had to stop to regard Subaru one last time. Her expression was indifferent. "I hope you die full of regrets, Barasu."

"I will, Ram." All present, even the speaker and spoken-to, were stunned by his casual reassurance.

All except Garfiel, who—with a snarl—grabbed Ram and chucked her so hard into the second carriage that it thundered as it rocked from the impact. Subaru felt his hackles instinctively raise as Garf cried, "'Ouch' my ass, you're a fuckin' demon!" He slammed the carriage shut, once again making the thing rock before leaping on top. He knocked it twice, the echoes hollow. "Drive, Otto! Now!" All the while, Meili's damp gasps echoed hollowly in the wagon shared with Ram.

He was squeezing the reins tight, staring straight through the exit. "Ah!" he jolted as Subaru touched his pant leg.

"I'll be fine, man," he told Otto. "Promise."

The young man blew air, shaking his head. "Whadda terrible promise." The strong odor of alcohol blew in Subaru's face. With that, he flicked the reins, not sparing his king a second glance.

He'd drunken himself half-stupid in the short time between here and the debate in the Royal Chambers. As the wagon passed through the gate, no one said a word. Rem, Petra, and Frederica were watching the king and queen and their Great Spirit from the windows. Who knew what they were thinking? Subaru ached to yell out some parting words, but nothing came of it. Leading up to this, Subaru envisioned that he would—some inspiring words about living to the fullest.

The moment of truth had come, and Subaru's mind was blank. As blank and simultaneously noisy as a static channel on television. Like his head was full of wasps.

Subaru didn't realize they were gone and out of sight until Beatrice and Emilia took either hand. "They'll be fine," said his wife, her voice hoarse with emotion. "They're safe now, thanks to you."

"Indeed," Beatrice concurred, injecting extra bounce into her voice. "And now that the carriage driver has ownership over the Mathers Domain, none of them will be lacking in comfort ever again."

"Plus, Petra will be reunited with her family and friends!"

"That rambunctious girl, I can already see her dragging Meili over to make new friends before the end of the week, I suppose."

"What the hell am I doing?" Subaru, at last, found his voice—and a reaction to what had just occurred.

"Subaru!" Emilia cried upon him collapsing to his knees.

Beatrice fretted, hands out in front of her. "Come, let's get you inside where it's more comfortable, I suppose."

"Guys?" Subaru blinked: he was on the ground of the castle's wagon garage, Emilia and Beatrice still beside him. Still happy. Still loving him. Everyone else's last memory of Subaru will be of him screaming and crying. Part of him wouldn't be surprised if they joined the fray despite everything, considering. "Just what… the hell am I doing?"

Subaru, despite his best efforts, felt like he hadn't saved anybody. And yet Subaru, not Emilia or Beatrice, had to keep telling himself that he had.

Just so he could stand to reenter the castle.

"They're gone."

Felix wrinkled his nose. "Nyow that's a little anticlimactic. So they just left you guys, alone?"

"Th-they evacuated with the others!" Emilia clarified. "Apart from the Knights, those you see before you are what remains of the castle staff."

Even Crusch, brows raised, was taken aback. "I see."

"Huh." Felix's ears twitched in that nosy way of his. Subaru could feel his face being scrutinized like a book. Emilia's, too, judging from the way Felix's gaze fluttered to and fro.

Julius was pensive, taking this all in with a calculating look on Subaru. "That must have been hard," he said. "However, I can tell you're all the stronger for it. Personally, I admire the desire to prioritize your subordinates."

Then why doesn't it feel like I had?

"That's the mark of a worthy leader," Julius concluded.

"I'm Choosing to Forgive the Master"