This loop was good for making one thing clear: to put it simply, Subaru was perhaps too broken to be helped.

Subaru was more worried by how unsurprising this was, rather than the unsettling implications it conveyed about the value of Emilia's words. Were those unsurprising, so much so that they were already a blur? Really showed where his priorities were, deep down.

On that, Emilia was correct—though she didn't say it outright, Subaru's inward focus and perspective was a mold shaped through Return by Death, one he couldn't possibly rebuild himself from. That's not to say he's alone and can't ask for help, far from it. Give him time, and Subaru had no doubt that he could tell everyone everything that ever happened to him, and they would be more than happy to help Subaru overcome his trauma, or at least learn to live with it instead of detesting his weaknesses. That was the dream, anyway; the selfish desire.

And yet, for how unsurprising it was, processing this fact remained a struggle: as in, Subaru couldn't stop himself from dwelling.

He was too broken to help himself.

Or, more to the point, when Emilia asked Subaru to "move forward," he's finding himself mentally incapable of doing so. To simply let go of what everyone endured over the years—indirectly because of his greed, or his pride, or sloth, or some other fault that Subaru was too insecure to acknowledge and take responsibility for before it was too late—was too selfish to imagine. And that's all at the very least , not even touching the slight possibility that they could still be suffering, because of him, to this day.

It was too wild of a situation for people like (bless their hearts) Emilia or Beatrice or even Rem to handle, or anyone for that matter. It was unreal, and one man was living it. Broken because of it. Unable to move on, with no option but to force himself to.

"Move forward already. Don't let Mili and Beako down." Such a pointless thought. Such musings were all that Subaru could rely on for the longest time, for leaving the others to a brutal end was never up for consideration. Only until Subaru remembered his duties and promises did he realize his selfishness in time, amidst those moments of utter darkness.

Giving up wasn't an option, even if Subaru decided to run. The only true end to this was off the table; even if he wanted to stop permanently instead of continuing forward, Return by Death ensured that a break wasn't indefinite. At least, not in the times Subaru wanted one more than he wanted to live.

I wonder what Rem would think if she knew how I feel. On the one hand, Subaru figured she would feel betrayed and hate him. On the other hand, still wiggling its fingers in "reality," Rem emboldened with the mere observation that Subaru didn't think such a thing. Not ultimately. Ultimately, Subaru found himself able to stand again—not in bed, cuddled with Beatrice and Emilia—when it mattered most. When the most important thing that rose above his self interests needed him.

And now it comes full circle, Subaru thought, smiling despite himself. It was true, as valid in his heart as realizing he could never truly "move forward;" moments with Rem got Subaru back on his feet. They were something to smile over and die for. They were why Subaru could smile at Emilia this morning, and promise that he's glad he saved everyone; why he couldn't make a promise to move forward, but vow with every beat of his heart to carry on all the same.

Thanks, Emilia. Beatrice. Seriously. He threw his arm, blanket in hand, over himself and the girls. Was scared that rolling outta bed in the morning would be the hardest thing. But Emilia simply insisted on being herself, Beatrice an ever-present comfort, even if not in the same room or conversation.

Subaru laid a hand on Beatrice's blanketed form, upon her small torso. She frowned slightly before resettling back to a neutral resting face. Beside her, Emilia's face was turned towards the two of them, a mess of silver caging her eyes. Still dressed like a queen. To say she was beautiful would be like observing the sky was blue.

Thanks to you guys, I can at least pretend I'm moving forward. Subaru smiled so he could internalize these feelings. And do things smarter the next time, too. More empathetically. He couldn't save the others like he had last time—Emilia made it clear that doing so would defeat the purpose of saving their souls as well.

Because of that, part of Subaru was well-aware of this silly pep-talk. Little separated it from the several others over the years. Not a bad thing, however; perhaps a small moment that changed nothing, and sure, everyone was hurting and scared and miserable on the outset of the checkpoint. All the same, losing this moment was still going to hurt like hell.

So, why care?

Because if nothing else, the fact that it hurt meant Subaru hadn't given up. He'd overcome his despair, thanks to Emilia. And it was thanks to Emilia that Subaru had a reason to be, why he was even half the man everybody thought he was.

These thoughts and feelings, Subaru huddled close to heart. At the same time he embraced his family tight, certain that this would keep them safe. Beatrice rolled into Subaru's chest. Maybe not in this loop, but I will: all of you, I'll save you. Emilia wrinkled her nose, turning, burying her face in a pillow. I swear, I'll save all of you. No matter what, no matter how much it'll hurt us, I promise, we'll be able to laugh about this someday. I promise. I promise!

Although accepting, Subaru refused to embrace everyone's readiness to die for him. Doing this alone was impossible, however, for Subaru couldn't even stand on his own after forcing everyone to leave. Keeping them out of harm's way was, in turn, impossible.

In the back of his mind, Ram tutted Subaru's fear of taking responsibility for his choices.

Perhaps that was the next loop's issue—juggling this abstract issue alongside the physical one on its way.

Or perhaps this was a problem far outside his capabilities as Subaru Natsuki.

He let sleep take him, knowing that would be too self-defeating to dwell on.

Subaru and Emilia planned to thank those boys who went beyond their pledges as Knights of Lugnica, even if their food sucked: a filling but boring breakfast of dry preserves (oatmeal) and fruit salad. Bowls of the stuff and water pitchers took any place that the rest didn't: castle blueprints, small unit tactics, a war map of the capital with pieces clustered about.

And, of course, the guests.

Orange shafts of light bathed the dining hall, coloring the coats of Knights standing shoulder-to-shoulder along the walls. The kingdom's most talented stood like statues at the backs of Crusch's retinue, all gathered around the table, most serving themselves water. A couple wondered about the maids while doing so, that one asshole from last night sighing, "As expected," in response.

Emilia seized Subaru's fist beneath the table. Though smiling, her eyes told him, "Don't get fired up. Again." That obviously meant, "No Return by Death." Maybe her irritation was imaginary; Subaru had to tell himself any came from a place of worry for him.

"Your Graces. Lady Beatrice." Crusch's strong voice was soft, though it stifled the noisiness of everyone stuffing their faces with breakfast. "For the sake of efficient preparation, I recommend we talk whilst we eat."

"Yes, of course." Emilia smiled as if she planned that. Subaru ignored the pang of knowing she had while looking at her untouched breakfast. "My loyal subjects and allies." She rose from her seat; on Subaru's other side, Beatrice watched while nursing a chunk of melon. "A terrible danger is on its way, intent on deposing Lugnica's ruling monarchs. Although a mere five in number, I assure you, they are far more powerful than any Archbishop."

"How's that possible?" The asshole, Rosby, took a swig of water before continuing. "Every Sin Archbishop is dead, their Authorities all accounted for."

Further grumbling arose: "What an opener."

"How in the world could such individuals keep themselves hidden until now? Why?"

"Better question, why is she bringing up an officially 'dead' organization? Coincidence?"

"They played their hand and lost! What could be worse than the Witch's Cult?"

"Rest in peace, Ser Reinhardt," Julius mumbled into clasped hands. On Crusch's other side, Felix's ears wilted at the mention of their deceased Sword Saint. Subaru denied himself a pang of guilt. It wasn't his right.

Emilia didn't open her eyes until the murmuring stopped. The sunrise luster rendered their lilac a chilly glow gazing upon the rabble. "All valid concerns. Of course, that could only mean one thing: the Witches of Sin have grown beyond the confines of death, and are on their way as we speak."

A goblet clattered on the table. "Shit," the noble's daughter hissed, beginning to mop the water up with a cloth until Crusch snapped "Leave it" in as soft a voice as before.

Swiftly her eyes returned to Emilia's, flickering between Subaru and Beatrice in the pause that lingered. "My Divine Protection of Wind Reading has detected no lie in this statement," Crusch said behind steepled fingers. "Your Queen of Lugnica does not exaggerate: the threat she anticipates is very real."

Subaru expected an explosion of outrage, not just: "Yeah, because she's letting them in!" A girl in glasses who looked Emilia's physical age shot up from her seat. "Am I the only sane one in this room?! The Witches of Sin are coming, and why? To reunite with the Witch of Envy, of course!"

Before Subaru could tell himself to calm down before objecting, Emilia was quicker: "You mean the Witch of Envy, who repelled the advances of her devoted followers time and again?" She continued, just as lightly as before, "The same 'Witch of Envy' who continues to resist, protecting her kingdom, rather than turning cloak to join them?"

The girl flushed, but set her glare on the queen, unflinching otherwise. "Yes," she said, "the very same."

Crusch scoffed. "Your Lady Mother wasn't kidding, Grace Fortisma: you spend far too much time cooped up in your library. To require a reminder of our recent history is a stain on your family's good name, but from the Queen of Lugnica, no less?" Crusch shook her head, continuing despite Grace having firmly reclaimed her seat. "Did you know, before she was queen, and when all in the country thought as you did, the half-elf Emilia nearly drained herself of mana, protecting the nobility's shelter from the Witch's Cult on her lonesome?" Subaru did. "She could have died." She had, and kept dying alongside Beatrice without any devoted cooperation between the two. "She could have died, alongside your mother and father, Grace Fortisma."

"I… I know."

"Your baby brother would have never seen the light of day without Queen Emilia's selfless actions. This is in spite of the fact that her knight and soon-to-be-husband was in equal danger on the other side of the capital. Queen Emilia remained steadfast in her duties, however, and fought until she was bleeding and on the brink of death. The nobles found her and Lady Beatrice like this, and what did they do?" They didn't try lynching a half-crazed Emilia this time. "Did they disrespect her as you just did, or recognize the error of their ways, and set to right the wrongs slung their future queen's way?"

"I know."

Crusch's fist thundered against the table, making all but Felix jolt: "Then don't you ever think of humiliating yourself, your House, or me ever again! And that goes for the rest of you," she added, loud but not yelling. "Let go of your pigheaded pride, for none of you are worthy of even breathing the same air as Queen Emilia, much less coveting such ill-placed conceit." Crusche grit her teeth, seething softly. "None of you are blameless, however. I myself am guilty of seeing things just as you have. But I've grown, and I hold no shame in proclaiming that it's made me stronger. I'm interested to see whether the boys and girls gathered here will be men and women when it's come time to draw your swords."

Rosby was the only one gritting his teeth in frustration; Subaru had kept his eye on this guy, knowing he wouldn't be so easy. "I still have one question." He directed everyone's attention to the end of the table, to their queen and king. "Just how are you certain of so much, yet so little simultaneously? You cannot say our suspicions are misplaced, considering."

"Please." Beatrice sighed, shoving herself from the table and strolling towards Rosby. "You're aware of King Subaru's Outrider Company, no?" Their silence has been a worry in the back of Subaru's head. "Composed of the swiftest and stealthiest of Lugnica's Knights, they surveyed cloaked individuals in the northern woodlands near Gusteko, I suppose. Reports detail power far exceeding, and is unsettlingly similar, to that of the Sin Archbishops of the Witch's Cult, in fact." Rosby remained in his seat; he looked ready to jolt and object at one point, but by the time Beatrice stopped behind his chair, her narrowing eyes somehow kept the young man in place. "So, little boy, tell Betty: would you prefer questioning the basic security measures instilled by your wise diarchs, or do you wish to survive, I suppose?"

Rosby looked up from her, equal parts apologetic and offended. "Her will is mine," said Subaru. "Every second we waste is another leg-up the Witches have over us. So, it's like the little lady said: you wanna die over this , or to protect your families?" Obscured by the shoulders of Rosby and the lord's daughter beside him, only Betty's nose was seen sticking up with pride.

"Is dying… truly our only option?" asked the daughter closest to Felix. He nursed her shaking fist on the table as she turned clattering teeth on Subaru. "Are we really going to die here? What's the point?! We should be evacuating—!"

"And become the Nomadic Kingdom of Lugnica? That's never gonna work," said Subaru.

"None of you… will die, I assure you," said Emilia. "We have escape routes all over the castle that converge to a fortified shelter in the mountains, as well as the Astrea estate. Should our efforts fail, and the Witches' press on undeterred, I intend on us being well-away from the fighting before that happens."

Crusch's brow twitched upright, to Subaru's despair. Glancing at Emilia, her hands clenched tight around the table, he could tell she knew it too—she wasn't lying, but she couldn't make such a promise with the powers at work here.

"Okay," the scared noble girl breathed, shaking her head like mad. "Alright, my Queen, I'll put my faith in you. Sorry. F-for the outburst."

"And our king." Crusch's eyes opened on the girl. "Don't forget, King Subaru is an unparalleled tactician. If anyone can work such odds in our favor, it would be him."

He could only stand half a second of Crusch and Julius's confident smiles.

"Yep!" Subaru wanted to puke. "So! The plan." Rather than puke, he cleared their end of the table. Rather than puke, he pitched the suicide mission to end all suicide missions like it was natural.

This wouldn't be the end of anybody: Subaru had to keep telling himself that again and again as he and Beatrice and Emilia explained their plan.

Hopes were tenuous, all but deteriorating thanks to Subaru's reputation, Beatrice's wisdom, and Emilia's incredible power.

There was hope against Daphne: a one-woman army that didn't need food, rest, or anything akin to a break.

Hope that they could prevail against Typhon, a living artillery cannon that never had to aim, reload, or stall between attacks. And that was taking into account Minerva, the ultimate healer, whose acts of kindness could level buildings and was probably as fast as Subaru remembered her. She could be well-away from the battle and still serve her purpose.

Of course, there was Carmilla to keep in mind: a spy and bomb in one, whose dangerous Authority could create disarray in the ranks should her infiltration be successful. And once she was successful, they would have won.

Finally there was Sekhmet, the most powerful of the Witches it seemed, with mobility and assault capabilities beyond anything that Betelgeuse could conjure up. Even if the other four were quelled and rendered inoperable, she alone was a threat to even the most powerful ranged fighter alive today: Emilia Natsuki.

Since yesterday morning, Subaru had warned her with information from the last loop. Despite the ineffectiveness of her strongest attacks then, Emilia merely smiled and replied, "I promise I'll fight better this time. She won't lay a hand on us." Knowing how headstrong she was, and their lack of options, Subaru could do little but have faith in Emilia's admittedly godly combat abilities.

It was sundown, the training yard a bustle of wood clattering on wood and the occasional metal plate. Furthest distance from the southern entrance, a specific group worked at vaulting over a chest-high barricade in unison. For peasants, they were fairly organized. Perhaps it was the result of Duchess Karsten not mincing any words:

"It's very likely that none of us will witness another sunrise. But neither will anybody in the kingdom if a stand isn't made stronger than everybody's best efforts."

As he remembered this, as though on cue, Subaru spotted another Knight exiting the training yard with two pails of puke buckets. Am I a bad person for expecting a rebellion? he mused. Subaru loathed how glad he was at the lack of noteworthy resistance; but he didn't dare consider trying to win without losing a single one of these soldiers. It was just too much to think about right now.

"'How could we have realistically prepared for what's to come tonight, I suppose?'" Beatrice crossed her arms, looking up to Subaru with a neutral glare. "That's what you're thinking right now, I suppose."

"Generally speaking," Subaru relented, scratching the back of his head. "How are you holding up, though?"

Her brows wilted, eyes softening. "Betty was adequate until Subaru said that, in fact. Now I'm displeased, I suppose."

"Uh-oh." Subaru turned, holding the glass-paneled door open for Beatrice before following himself. "What'd I do this time?"

"Nothing wrong ," Beatrice said, softly, but snapping in a way.

"I'm getting mixed messages here."

Shaking her head, Beatrice took two of Subaru's fingers. As he wrapped around them in turn, she said, "Betty is merely being her usual, self-pitying self, in fact."

"Well, that's no good. C'mon, talk to me."

"It doesn't matter, I suppose."

"It does to me, though~"

"Stop it."

"Beako, c'mon, don't shut me out now. "

"Betty's done nothing but shut you out, I suppose!" Deep in her heart, she didn't believe that—not literally. Beatrice continued, loosening her grip on Subaru's fingers, "If you insist, Betty finds herself in the same inconsolable state as Subaru."

He winced. "That obvious, huh? Well, don't take it personally—"

"I'm not like Emily, I suppose."

Subaru had been praying she didn't notice. "Yeah, clearly ."

"Betty means it! She cannot be of help to Subaru! Not in his greatest battle, I suppose…"

Subaru understood immediately, feeling the exact same right now, ever since the fight last night. "Alright." He let go of Beatrice, spinning to one knee before her. "You can help by holding me." He wrapped his Great Spirit in a hug before she could react. "Just hold onto me tight, Beako. That alone is enough."

A snuffle lashed sharply against his neck as Beatrice nuzzled Subaru. "Betty disagrees," she said faintly.

"Subaru begs to differ."

"Hmph. How impudent. You're in no position to be insisting your twisted worldview on others, I suppose."

Subaru held her out in front of him. "Then give me yours. Cuz you know damn-well that mine's not doing me any favors."

Beatrice wriggled away. "It's unnecessary." She kept her glare fixed on the space between them. "It's pointless, I suppose."

It wouldn't be and she knew it. "Beako—"

"Subaru, we're wasting time and energy debating over this." Her steely death-glare on the empty space rose, piercing Subaru in the chest while meeting his eyes. "Objectively speaking, Betty's personal grievances will muddle your current priorities, both before and after the coming battle, in fact. That is not acceptable, in fact."

"Wait, wait, wait—"

"And I refuse to be a hindrance on Subaru, this time around, or ever," Beatrice continued, clenching at her skirts. "This is my conviction, and it's powerful enough to transcend death and embed itself in the next Betty's heart!"

She was praying for the unreasonable. "Beatrice, we haven't even gotten a chance to really talk about it yet. Just listen for once."

"I will not, I suppose!" She turned her back on him, still wrangling at her dress. "Betty is going to help Subaru, not hinder him! She will not think about herself like the others, I suppose! I won't give Subaru a reason to abandon me, and I will not abandon Subaru in his hour of need like last time!"

That was a lot, and she had more than a day to internalize such things. Subaru only had his own aching heart to blame, the choices it'd led him to make. "You didn't abandon me." Technically, he drove her away.

Beatrice cupped her face, already aware of this. "I did, I suppose. I left you and wanted you to chase me, I suppose. That's just the kind of ugly thing Betty is, in fact."

This wasn't going to end well if he kept pushing. "Oh, Beatrice," Subaru sighed, pushing himself off his knee. His spirit didn't turn around. "Beako." She winced, anticipating a fight, probably. "For what it's worth, I don't think you're ugly. But me? This guy's messed up enough to feel happy that he matters so much to you." And the others; Meili's screams in the garage raced chilly down his spine.

"That is fairly deranged, in fact." Beatrice sniffled hard, lifting her face to gaze down the hall they'd walked down. "But if it makes Subaru happy, then it's not Betty's place to concern herself over the technicalities, I suppose."

"I promise you, Beatrice, everything going through your head, we'll talk about it when this is done. I promise." Pathetic, truly. This was the best Subaru could do for the spirit who pledged her life to him, at least for now.

In his peripherals, Beatrice's skirt and striped legs turned back to face him. Her eyes welled suddenly as she opened her mouth to speak. Subaru tussled her hair before she could torture herself further. "Gyah!" Beatrice batted him away, cuing Subaru to give a laugh.

"C'mon." He nodded in the direction they had been going. "Let's save Mili from the nobles."

"Very well… Subaru." She reclaimed his hand, and they pressed on. Moving forward.

Moving forward, Subaru had to ignore Beatrice's silence the whole way there, much as he didn't want to.

"What a Profoundly Irritating and Aggravating Man You Are, I Suppose"