"Your Grace! Orders?!" The metal groaned, Daphne snarling bursts of spittle around the thinning twist of steel. Within a gap above her sinking teeth, eyes twinkled—twin galaxies with a purple star in each, otherwise devoid of all life. "My King Subaru, shall we begin an attack, or rendezvous with the others?!" Almost a dozen swords crossed before Subaru and Petra; Daphne's jaws were inches from reuniting with each other.
"Uh…" Fleeing could turn this into a chaotic bloodbath.
"She's almost through!" a Knight cried.
But fighting could turn bloody as well; Daphne, crippled, was clearly capable. And the other Witches might be nearby—No, we have a shot at getting her now! "Burn the Witch! Don't leave any ashes—!"
A thunderclap boomed, followed by a different kind—an explosion of concrete alongside a roar. Most of the knights whipped around, faces to the sky. Every one of them went slack before scattering, two dragging Subaru by the arm and shoulder-pad, Petra in-tow, away from Daphne.
A hulking, tiger-printed figure dropped between them and the Witch, blowing a dirt cloud all around, washing over Subaru as he curled around a yelping Petra.
"B-Big Brother?!" she coughed.
"The Sworn Shield—here?!"
A low growl rose. Through the thinning dust screen, round ears rose above his rippled back. Garf breathed in deep, so deeply… only to snarl at the Witch of Gluttony, his claw hooking beneath her teeth. Subaru nearly screamed at the idiot, his stump throbbing, but Garf simply gave Daphne a yank—tearing a jawless, flayed skull trailing black fabric and guts through the topmost jagged hole, up over his shoulder, before slamming and shattering her upon the dirt road with jaw-dropping finality. Literally, all of the Knights gaped as blood and gore burst, bone fragments scattered. Daphne lay motionless, an 8-ball of an eye tethered to the remains of her skull.
Amazed hushes arose as Garf's hunch expanded and shrunk, breathed in and out, his stripes stretching:
"Just like that…"
"We shoulda brought him from the start—"
"You forget yourselves, men." Subaru hadn't lost sight of his original goal, relief for the rescue aside: "This was supposed to be a covert operation." Garf's back gave a growling start. The Knights surrounding them went at-attention as Subaru stood, pulled up by Petra. "At ease, boys. Yo, Garf!" A glowing blue eye flashed him above a broad shoulder. "Thanks for the assist. You really saved… our… hides…"
Garf, still transformed, trudged heavily towards Subaru as he spoke, only to push him back while squeezing through the gap Petra made upon dropping her hand, her face guilty.
She mustered a breath, small chest pushing forth, and: "Big Bro Garf!" Petra chirped, her smile dying in the face of his bestial snarl. "Eh-h'eh… um… I'm sorry that I didn't… tell—h-how'd you find us, anyway?"
"I've got a pretty good idea." Subaru held his fleshy stump above the tear.
A fist twice as big as her head rose before Petra, destroying her confidence. "G-Garf?"
Subaru's feet moved before he could think: it was just Garf, he wouldn't hurt Petra, but Subaru's soul had experienced losing her too many times to bear it again. "Garf, no—!"
One claw flicked Petra in the chest, so hard she went sprawling flat against her back, wide eyes unblinking to the sky.
Subaru chuckled, more in relief than amusement. It was weak enough to die in his throat as Garf's entire form turned on him—lashing. Subaru ducked reactively, even though it swiped above where his head had been. Having not taken his eyes off Garf's, Subaru noticed his fangs bare themselves to their black gums in response.
Why? It's not like he was actually trying to hit Subaru just now.
Garf's eyes widened before flitting down: a stringy, cloaked snake of a Witch brought her upper teeth down upon the Sworn Shield's toes, and again… and again… and again.
The paw rose and smashed Daphne to further powder. It was a sorry sight. Stop, Subaru thought, a flash of pink goo latched to Garf's sole. Stop making me pity you, you complete and utter monster.
Petra sat herself up—her brown, soaked maid uniform sure to earn a scolding from Frederica. But she was alive, thanks to Garf, whose blue-eyed intensity awaited Subaru, piercing his own silhouette.
"Okay. I know why you're mad. But, you see, Garf, this's all just part of the next big plan!"
A deep, little girl's voice mocked, "'Golly, I dun' care what happens t' me! So long as I get to protect everyone, it's worth any pain! Hyuck!'" Petra crossed her arms, unsmiling. " That was Subaru's grand plan, Big Brother."
So she was hiding in the supply wagon. "Traitor!" And Subaru yelped from the suddenness of his stump being snatched—Garf's giant fist curled around it gently, though Petra had already taken away the pain (for now). "Uh, a-arms can get replaced, so, no worr— IEEEES! " Squeezed around the stomach, Subaru felt it rise and fall hard within as the Northern Poor District shrunk beneath his flapping feet. It resembled a large playset before growing back, rushing up to swallow them in its streets before Garf launched them high above once more.
"YEAH, THANKS, BRO!" Petra dropped her hands with a growl. It felt cruelly atypical to be forgotten.
"Captain, what are our orders?" asked one of the knights, sheathing his sword.
As the others followed suit, a girl with a ponytail said, "His Majesty just so happens to have a course of action planned in the event of a 'family emergency.' And that is to drop everything and meet him back at the castle."
"That sounds like King Subaru," said Petra. She put her hands behind her back. "May I trouble you to give me a lift?"
The captain bowed, smiling. "It'd be an honor, Miss Petra Leyte."
Flawless. Petra was about to give thanks when a chill raced down her spine. Whipping around, there in the dirt road laid the remains of Daphne, black eyeball pointed directly at Petra.
Still alive. "I'm gonna freeze that," she said, pointing. "It'll be safer to carry that way, don'cha think?"
"I was just thinking the same thing," said the captain. "I have no doubt that King Subaru would want us to retrieve this enemy if possible."
They landed with a jolt that nearly snapped Subaru's neck, high upon one of the castle wall's currently empty turrets. Tossed upon the stone, Subaru barely felt himself bounce against it as his soul returned to his body—and thoughts of Petra as well as Daphne.
"Dude!" Subaru gasped, arm peeling himself off the stone. "You know I hate it when you do that!"
"Whadda you care?!" Subaru spun around to find Garf, human, and too pissed to try and look threatening—not even crossing his arms. "The king ready an' willin' to be eaten limb by limb. Unbelievable."
"Y-you don't understand! That was a mistake I made trying to save Petra! Ask her!"
"I understand that perfectly well. M'not an idiot."
Kneeling, Subaru forced a laugh. "And here I was hoping you'd look at me with starry-eyed wonder."
"Is this seriously a time to be screwin' around?"
"For me? If I don't wanna snap? Then yeah." There was a rare silence in which the Royal Aegis was stunned speechless. "Garf, we need to go back for Petra and the Knights. If there are other enemies—"
"Don't change the subject, bastard! Firstly, my nose don't lie! Second: if you think Petra can't handle a comatose corpse—! Wh-what's with the damn smirk on yer face?!"
Subaru didn't realize. He was stupid—always so clueless—that he had to laugh. "Had a chat with the enemy, is all. I learned that I really don't understand them." Where were the others hiding; what was the Witches' true endgame beyond a contract, letting Daphne get potentially taken out? Were they overconfident in her ability, or… did they actually want this to happen? "I seriously just blundered into danger. I was lucky to learn something, but, in typical fashion, nothing's really changed."
"You about to blubber? Now? What's it matter t' you anyway?" Garf's arms folded across his chest. "S'not like you can't 'return by death' 'r whatever."
Everything emptied Subaru at once. "You… know? But-but how?" Did Emilia or Beatrice trust him that little—?
"My room is right next to yours, asshole! Don't be an idiot!" Garf snapped. "Who the hell do you think I am? I'm your shield, dammit! I always sleep with one ear open!" His passion wasn't the only thing that made a stupid amount of sense.
"So… all this time, these last two days I've lived… you've always known?" And Garf was playing dumb, playing along, for his sake?
Garf scratched the back of his head, snarling. "Well, I didn't wanna say nothin' 'cause, to be honest, I still don't get what I heard. S'clear now that it ain't one o' your weird-ass sayings. You were serious this mornin', sure as shit: ya really can come back from the dead."
No. Not playing dumb. Not playing along, either—not really. Garf was as mystified as the rest by this reveal, and thrown off by its numerous implications. But from the start—before that, even—Garfiel understood Subaru well enough by this point to know he wasn't using this power for evil. At least not presumably. Yet, to stand by and let his feelings go on unspoken…
Garf respected Subaru's decisions—until they reached a point of unacceptability, anyway.
"You're always smarter than I give you credit for, Garfiel."
"Tch. Don't flatter me, s'just a job." His harshness made Subaru wince; he couldn't forget that at this moment, he was on Garfiel's Shitlist. "We're grillin' you for the details later. Me n' Queenie."
A myriad of emotions wrangled Subaru's heart—all of them guilty. "Emilia knows what I'm doing?"
"Eh?" Garf seemed puzzled by his unease. "Naw. Despite all the sneaky bullshit, I had a feelin' you wanted Queenie outta this fer good reason. Even if I wanted t' tell 'er, Meili threatened t' feed me to 'er pets if I let Petra get 'erself killed. Nothin' but a snap decision. An' a good call, too, once I caught a whiff o' yer blood."
Meili?! That troublesome little she-devil.
"Yeah, how dare we give a damn about'cha?" Garf's hands were on his hips. "Don't look so pissed, asshole. Should count yerself lucky ya only lost an arm. If you'd died down there—" Garf's voice suddenly failed him—a weak noise that struck Subaru to his core.
The Sword Shield snapped his jaws at him. "Where the fuck is your metia, huh?! Why didn't you call the knights?!"
Only then did Subaru realize he forgot it. He could—wanted to—excuse himself, blaming Emilia's torture for encouraging the rush to prevent it, combined with forgoing any notion of putting the others in danger… but that wasn't the point. "I-I think I left it in my… room—"
"You IDIOT! Your stupid ass coulda gotten the girl KILLED!"
"I'm the idiot?!" Subaru shot up to his feet. "I didn't want any of you down there to begin with! Yet you two not only disobeyed my orders—!" What the fuck was he even arguing here?
"Holy shit, yer serious!" Garf hooted in disbelief, staggering back a step. "So Petra wasn't lyin'... Boss, you—? You're seriously puttin' your blood on the line…? Y'crazy suicidal bastard…"
Subaru grit his teeth; it was time to speak Garf's language. "Just look at my arm, man." He gestured to the stump, cauterized magically, but stringy and bright red. It looked like agony, the opposite of how it felt. "How serious do you think I am when it comes to saving everyone?"
It took the big guy a few tries to find his voice, eyes never leaving the symbol of Subaru's conviction—at least, that's how he was dressing it now. "Ha-has it always been like this, Boss?"
Subaru sighed; his heart ached as badly as ever despite saying this three times now: "Ever since I came to Lugnica. Yeah." So much, too much, has happened since.
"Always." Garf uttered a confirmation more so than a question. "You've always done this, haven't you? Crazy bastard… I can't even wrap my head around it."
Yep. Subaru threw himself into the meat grinder on the others' behalf more than once, which was more times than he wanted to remember in as vivid of detail as he does. "They say pain is the best teacher."
"I don't wanna hear your wisdom right now, Boss…" Garf breathed deep, raggedly. "Specially not the kind you learned from dyin'."
And since they were alone, in this stalemate, he might as well nut up and ask Garf the question once again: "So, now that you see me like this… must be a pretty big letdown, huh?"
"Wh-wha'?"
Subaru smiled, gazing aside, away from Garf's shock. This time, they didn't have others present. Garf didn't need to mince words. "You know what I mean, man. All our wins weren't really 'wins.' They were me cheating us to the finish line after a ton of losses. Every time. Every… damn time, Garf, I lost so many times trying to keep everybody in one piece and—!" He was yelling, no longer seeing his friend, but Emilia's limbs tearing off, Beatrice shattering, Garf crushed by a whole building.
Subaru took a breath. Calm down. Don't make this any worse. "And that's why I'm an idiot. I don't ever learn anything. Just cheat…" He turned away, running his hand along the turret's blocky trim. The capital was calm, for now. "I was really trying to keep you all outta trouble this time, too. But I can't even manage that right—"
"Then how come you didn't toss Petra?" Garf's eyes bore holes into the brick before Subaru. "Y'know ya coulda gotten away with it—"
"What—?"
"Or at least tried to."
Subaru's fingertips ached as they were crushed into a fist. "What're you saying…?" The ugly notion played out before his eyes: Petra's betrayal and heartbreak as she was thrown to Daphne. Subaru wanted to puke then and there.
"I'm askin' why you didn't save yerself and toss Petra. If ya had, ya wouldn't've lost an arm an' became half an' idiot."
"I still got two legs."
"An' I was ready to break one'f 'em."
"But you didn't." Subaru turned.
Garf was glaring, a softness seldom seen in his eyes. "Why didn't you let the girl die, Boss? What's it matter to you if yer so keen on dyin' yerself? I ain't playin'." To hear him even ask such a question was one thing, but so softly? It felt out of character.
Subaru let his severity come in cool force. "I figured you were playing around, with something so ridiculous." Garf choked, his tension draining in an instant. "C'mon. It had to have crossed your mind by now, if you've been thinking about it since this morning—"
"Man, I hate it when you talk all arrogant, like a know-it-all. Reminds me of Sis."
"This is the game you wanted to play, Garf. So, tell me," Subaru resumed, "even if I can't 'die,' even if I would have benefitted from losing all this extra luggage like you and Petra... why do you think I've stuck around this death trap of a friend group for so long?" Garf, tactically-minded and processing Subaru's behavior for hours, had to have wondered such a thing.
"Part o' me wants to think ya did it fer a piece've ass."
"That sounds like the plot to an immoral comedy. C'mon, Garf. Do you really think that little of me?"
"Alright! Alright! I get it!" He was blushing. Adorable. Garf scratched the back of his head. "Fine. So y'aren't a complete psychopath. Good… Damn." Garf rubbed his chin, eyes searching, before turning towards the sky, hands on his hips. "I always wondered what yer crazy power was, Boss. I still don't get how it works, but… damn, t' die fer the sake of a tactical advantage."
There was a fondness Subaru wasn't prepared for. "Huh?"
"You're a lotta things, Boss. But until now, I never thought you was hardcore. An idiot as always, an' I still wanna rip yer other arm off jus' to teach a lesson—"
"Please, don't. Many girls will be very upset with you."
"Don't try an' humor me, Boss. I see yous more clearly now, but, s'far as yer shield's concerned, yer stupidity woulda hurt a lot more people than just you. That's the truth my amazin' self's been lookin' for. An' now that I've found it… tch! It's the most bitter pill I've ever had to swallow: you coulda scarred Emilia forever… and ya couldn't give less've a damn."
That was the harsh bottom line Subaru couldn't really deny. "You think I don't know that?!"
"'Course ya do! Yer smart enough to get us through a dozen servings of Hell unscathed, at the very least!" Garf, whose point always managed to catch Subaru off guard, crossed his thick arms. "So. Have I always been weak to you? Or've you provoked me enough to actually kill yer ass?"
Like, right now? "Wh-wha—?"
"Just answer it! Don't joke around!"
But Subaru was genuinely thrown off by Garf's thought process. "Garf, you've kicked huge amounts of ass on my behalf these last three years."
"Yeah." Garf smirked, then dropped it. Subaru tensed. "Tch. Yeah. Funny thing: my brain's rememberin' more clearly than all those fights… the way you ducked before."
Guilt flooded Subaru. "Th-that was out of habit! Honest!"
"An' not because I nearly gutted you after Reinhardt fell to Pride?"
No. No. Subaru shook his head 'no;' definitely not because Garf's bloodlust and rage upon the Witch Cultists killed him in the crossfire twice. "That has nothing to do with it—"
"Yeah, my crazy ass was left in the castle, fer no reason but to save me from gettin' myself killed like an idiot. Or worse—"
"But you haven't! You've done nothing like that, Garf!" And Subaru had been the only one around at the time, back then, who could've stopped Garf from killing someone with as little genuine risk to their well-being as possible, for Frederica and Ram were in the midst of their own battles. The success loop was sloppy for many reasons; everybody got messed up in one way or another, the day that should've been one of the happiest of Emilia's life. And there was that fight with Julius to top it all off.
"An' now that the paintin's gettin' color, finally, m'sure I've got my ass handed to me three times as much, at least." He spat his words, clearly for himself than his king. Garf carrying all of this himself was a painfully familiar sight that couldn't be ignored.
"T-twice, Garf." Subaru looked away from the flash of feline eyes; half of him couldn't believe he was doing this again, the other didn't want Garf to agonize over Subaru's evasiveness. "If it'll put your mind at ease, then… yeah, okay. I'll be straight with you, and respect your strength." He... wasn't exactly proven wrong with Emilia; only that her's adopted an unsettling form. Lord only knows how Garf will act moving forward—somehow more terrifying than coming face-to-face with Daphne.
At least her, Subaru could look her in the eye. "You've only ever… k-killed me… twice, Garf. Quickly and suddenly, only ever surprising me when I came back." Actually, Subaru was halved at the waist the first time. That was fucking pleasant, even more than Garf wailing about what he'd done.
Garf, who now stood stone-still, not taking a breath.
"It's only when you were out of control, that's it—!"
"SHIT!" Garf gripped the sides of his head. "Shit-shit-shit! I knew it, man! I frickin' knew it!"
"I didn't give a damn, though, man! Listen! I knew you weren't in your right head—!"
"Yeah, no shit I wasn't!" Garf's gritting teeth clacked invisibly, his glare watering. "No shit I wasn't," he croaked. "I could only see red—red, n' Reinhardt n' Pride burnin' to a crisp. An' the Witch Cultists who did this, and—a-and… you, Boss." Garf looked utterly heartbroken at Subaru; it hit deep. "You, with yer guts outside on the ground."
"And you, Petra, Emilia, Beatrice and Felix got them in as though it never happened."
"Don't feed that damn line t' me again." Garf seethed it like a threat.
Subaru had to move forward; they were in this too deep now. "Then how about a new one? Garf, it was all my fault." He choked, sharp teeth parting slightly, eyes wide. "My job was to look out for you. That's what I deluded myself into thinking, anyway—that I had to take care of a guy as strong as you, 'cause you were like… like an idiot kid brother to me, Garf." Subaru rubbed his arm, only to grope at a stump. "You were always just a sweet kid to me, once I got to know you better, of course. And yet—"
Garf had died.
So many times.
"And yet—!" Subaru choked, throat closing. The sky was clear as water, but he remembered it was going to rain tonight. "And yet, that clearly didn't matter to me when I needed us to survive; when I needed you to win the battles we couldn't ourselves. You were happy to do it, I know. You were always so eager to please, Garf, but… but my bad calls got you killed so much—! An' it's 'cause I made you win so much, that ya'almost lost yer 'ead back then—!"
"Stop cryin'."
"I'm really just… s-so s-sorry!" For everything he put Garf through—the trauma of getting too big a head thanks to victory loops, and almost killing someone precious because of it indirectly. "I'm sorry, Garf. I don't ever think. You're right, man. I never, ever think about what I do to you guys! I can't! It's hard enough just tryna live in the present—!"
"No! Naw-nah-nah, no, don't you dare, Boss! Don't you fucking dare shoulder that shit, ya arrogant bastard!" Garf cried, pointing. "Ya glossed over the li'l detail that I was happy t' do it, y'know? An' I'd win every battle all over again if that's what it took, same as you!"
The tears still sitting in his eyes bothered Subaru to no end. He almost couldn't think. But what could he say to that? This was Garf's lifestyle. "I never wanted you to get hurt, man. Don't you know why we kept you close?"
"Cuz I'm a troublemaker, f'I recall rightly."
"That was Ram being Ram! You're family, dude. Emilia and I not only felt safer around you, but we also didn't want you hurting yourself again."
"I knew that. I knew you wanted to keep me from hurtin' nobody—"
"For your sake."
Garf screamed, and lashed out in front of him, the gap between him and Subaru. "Why the hell're you like this?!"
Subaru held his hands up in defense. "Wh-what's with the question?!"
"Cuz! Ain't nobody in their right mind would be so chummy with a shit like me!" And that's when it hit Subaru, as Garf cried, "Not after what I did t' ya! Normal people woulda kept me as far from them and their loved ones 's possible, but you and your fucked up power just—! Just—!" Garf's anger collapsed, grief overwriting his emotional coin of rage/life-loving mischievousness Subaru had come to know him for. "Your power just… made you give … so little of a shit about your life, Boss. I can't stand it…"
"It didn't. The very reason I'm like this is because I love my life with everyone, and I'd do anything to protect it." Garf lifted his face, awed and intimidated by Subaru's firmness, whose sudden lack of anxiety surprised himself. It helped give a smile. "It's like you always say, Garf: a moment's pain is nothin' more than that."
What came out of his mouth next, Subaru didn't so much as consider before saying it: "So, you wanna leave this pointless horror and dying?"
"You already got a plan, Boss?"
Subaru shook his head. "This is my royal command: take everyone out of here and go." That was—still, Subaru realized—what he wanted for everyone. And the window to that route had opened itself here and now, and he wanted to jump in without thinking. "Save everyone, Garf. You can be their shield just fine without the target making your job harder."
"And—?! And leave you to face shits like that with just the Knights?!" Garf scoffed at the absurdity of it all, throwing an arm in the direction of the northern poor district. "You were shakin' ready t' make a mess o' yourselves till I showed up—!"
Subaru gave a laugh. "It was worth a try. I'm really not surprised you all came back last time. Dunno what I was thinking." Garf definitely held out, though.
"W-we—?"
"Garf, I'm serious." Subaru still had to try: "These guys are gonna hurt. And I don't think I can do more for you guys this life but learn—"
"Quit talkin' so fucked up already!" Garf sobbed. "Dammit!"
Subaru staggered a step back—Garfiel Tinzel, the Sword Shield, sobbed.
"Boss, is… is this really your life?" Every word quivered terribly. "This horrible shit, this shit way you fight our enemies, is… s'really what it's been like fer you?"
Subaru wasn't expecting the blow and it hit him swiftly in the gut; he held back tears, resisting the urge to confirm this; to cry, to make it about himself. His pain didn't matter, it was endless in this life, and Garf was too sweet to accept the reality.
He had to keep moving forward with this loop. "Garf, listen to me: I don't want you or the others getting hurt for no reason. That's why I lied this morning—"
"Do you really think I give a shit if it hurts, dyin' for you?!" Garf seethed. "If death ain't the end, then why do you give so much of a shit?! Just let me be your shield, Boss! What good am I if I can't even keep your ass alive long enough to learn somethin'?!" And then Garf gave a start, a truly hurt expression.
Subaru realized his own hands were up in defense, shaking; not from Garf's emotions, but the sound of Emilia screaming of how little pain she was in, dismembered. "Y-yeah—!" Subaru choked, having to say something lest Garf get the wrong idea. "Yeah, man, you're right… I shouldn't give a shit. I shouldn't care so much about how much my friends love me! After all, they give a shit about me, how dare I? How dare I act like such a heartless monster?"
"H-hey, that's not what I—!"
"But I do. Garf, I do, and that's the worst part about this life: I give so much of a shit, Garf! I can't help it, I can't! I love every one of you from the bottom of my heart, and I just wanna keep you all safe! Just as badly as you do! You understand?! Take that drive to protect—what pushes your body to reach its fullest potential—and put it in my shoes, and you'll understand! You'll understand why I'm like this and why I—!"
"I do! I do! I get all of it already, ya condescendin' bastard!"
Subaru squeezed the sides of his belt—only his right, though. "And I know it's too much for me," he pressed on. "It'll be so much easier if I just asked you all for help, I know. I know. I know all that… but… no matter how hard I try, Garf? No matter how much I tell myself that it's for your own good… lying, sneaking... that I'm doing this to protect everyone, I just can't not give a shit! I can't ever not give a shit! " The sight of Garf's dumbfoundedness was a sight too painful to bear; Subaru felt horrible for ever wanting to see it, to tell him about Return by Death. "I'm the one who's weak, Garf. Not you. I can't handle a bit of blood, is all. While you? Heh, you've actually been the strongest of us these last couple loops, and I don't just mean in strength."
"Boss, please—I-I can't take this. Th-that ain't me, that had t' be a fake." Those words startled Subaru out of his self-pity, finding Garf's muscled form hunched, head in his head, fingers twisting around his blonde hair. "I'm hearin' everything you're sayin', I'm watchin' as you spill your guts out in front o' me while barely keepin' it together…" There was a sniffle.
The Royal Aegis had sobbed his words before; now he was flowing. "Garf, a-are you—are you cr—?"
"Who gives a shit about a li'l water?!" He lashed the air in front of them, eyes full of tears and fury powering towards Subaru. "What the fuck kinda life have you been living, bro!?" Big hands enclosed Subaru's face. "What've I been doin', screwin' around and failin' you guys so damn much?!"
"Garf, Garf, listen," Subaru gasped, his shield's grip tightening. "Th-there'll come a day when I need your strength, just like always. And when that day comes, you're gonna protect Mili and I in a storm of glory—!"
"I don't give a shit about that!" Garf grabbed Subaru by the shoulders. "Just let me be your shield, man! Let me do that at least!" His eyes glared, teeth baring. "You know I can manage that much! You know I love the thrill of battle, I ain't got nothin' to be scared of! A-a-and that mediation shit? I've been doin' that every day! Ever since the accident! S-Sis's houndin' me about it anyway, ask 'er—!" He was so desperate.
"Garf." So desperate.
"Boss—!" So desperate to do it all: save Subaru, make it up to him, be the Sworn Shield, defeat their enemies, be relied upon, be trusted.
Subara took his little brother in a one-armed hug, who jerked statuesque in response—side twitching as the stump brushed it.
"Wha—?" Garf choked.
Subaru hooked around the hard, muscled torso tighter. It was surprisingly soft. "I'm sorry, man."
"Huh? What the—? Wh-why're you huggin' me?!" Subaru could feel Garf's big hands hanging above his shoulders, rigid with uncertainty.
"I'm sorry for doubting your strength," Subaru heard himself say, a hollowness ringing in his chest. "I… I…" Come on, you can at least say this much, you useless shit. "I... won't go anywhere without you again. I promise." It was too much—hurting Garf like this, making him feel useless. It really made saving his life seem a pointless, self-aggrandizing gesture. This must be how Otto felt last time. And Frederica…
"Boss…" Garf's hands dropped like a pair of dumbbells. "Jeez…"
"You won, man. You cried and stamped your feet until you got your way."
"Shut up, bro." Something weighty and all-encompassing hit Subaru on the head, smeared his curls around. "Don't feel like I won. Just feel like shit."
"Welcome to my world."
Garf huffed. "I guess so." Still patting Subaru, another weight—huge with muscle—snuck around his back like an indecisive boa. "My mind's full'a thoughts like hornets, Boss. Gotta say, m'still freakin' the eff out."
"Garfiel Tinzel, admitting weakness?"
"Shut up!" He crushed Subaru against the brick wall of his abs. "I only said that cuz I didn't think you'd become a cheeky bastard again!"
Subaru tapped his pec, tap-tapped out. Able to breathe after Garf loosened his hold, Subaru pushed himself away—noting how Garf's arm remained curled around his shoulders.
They smiled wearily to one another. "That was a pretty thoughtless promise I made, Garfiel. I don't know if it's physically possible to always be together, nor do I wanna put you through needless danger like I did to Petra… but I promise, for real this time, that I won't look down on your strength again. We'll talk more, I'll do everything I can every time to help you understand me and my power better, so that you don't have to worry about me." Subaru couldn't let go of his guilt, the crushing feeling that he knew he was putting Garf in danger. "Maybe if we can come to an understanding, I could learn not to feel so bad about making you do your job."
"Honestly, that there's pro'ly the most confusin' thing about all this. Even though I get how painful it can be." Garf exhaled. "I'd probably be pretty messed up if I had to watch Sis or the others get massacred a million times."
"Okay, I've not died that many times. I haven't even crossed a hundred!" Garf laughed in disbelief, and Subaru couldn't help but smile. It sounded a little too loud—but Garf was able to do it. "From here on," he continued, "rest assured that you'll be by my side until the end, every end, however many it takes to live."
Garf swallowed, a familiar admiration twinkling in his eyes. "An' in exchange…" The big guy crossed his arms, smirking. "When you say 'jump,' I'll reach the moon. Though, that goes without sayin'."
Subaru and Garf chilled on the tower for another hour. They discussed the enemy and a bit more about Return by Death—its specific functions and why Subaru couldn't share it sooner. Garf had agreed to keep Subaru's confidence, so long as he lived up to his promise to talk with Emilia tonight. By the time Subaru was done recounting he and Petra's encounter with Daphne, to the last word, a train of wagons and riders meandered through the noblelands, approaching the castle wall.
Though he wanted to rush and greet them, Garf advised waiting until after the company had fully arrived. Thought it would be in bad form for the King and Royal Aegis to drop in, disheveled and MIA until now.
But when they saw Petra cross the courtyard to the castle, still in the journey-encompassing effort of making her dirty dress look as presentable as possible to Frederica, neither Subaru nor Garf could contain themselves to their hiding spot. There were many reasons, chief among them being Petra's general well-being after that scare in the sewers. Garf didn't need to transform as he took Subaru upon himself, bridal style, and leapt for the castle front door. They landed beside Petra in a smooth, calculated arc, the force seemingly making her jump.
"Wha—?!" she choked at the suddenness.
"Petra, are you okay?!" Subaru fell from Garf's arms upon Petra's shoulders—just one, as that was all he could manage now. "I'm, I'm so sorry for dipping back there—!"
"She's tougher than that, Boss. C'mon."
"You!" Petra lashed a finger in her big brother's direction. "You shoulda grabbed me, too! Jerk!"
"Ha! Twas a conversation between men, girlie. You woulda just butted in with a couple o' silver coins anyhow. Jus' like you always do."
Petra fumed, red in the face—Subaru wondered what about that got to her; probably all of it. "Garf!" She kicked her foot out, crashing it into Garf's shin.
"Yee-OUCH! " He hopped on one foot, holding his leg.
"Really, man? Are you a shield of plank or metal?" And Subaru practically heard an anvil drop on his shin as Petra treated him to the same. "AUGH! Petra, WHY?!"
"You know already, you big jerk!"
"These maid-bitches've got steel toes, dammit!"
Petra stamped her foot twice for effect. "A modification courtesy of Big Sis Ram." She crossed her arms. "For exclusive use against stupid kings, idiot brother-figures, and malignant perverts."
"Why did you make it seem like kings are your biggest threat?!"
The huge double doors behind Petra cracked open. "Are you morons going to stand on the front porch all day?" A bluenette emerged, glaring.
"M-Meili!" peeped Petra.
"So, Mei, how long've you been pacing the foyer?"
Instead of blushing, Meili's glare intensified. "Thank you for keeping Petra safe, Your Grace."
"What's with the tone?" Subaru frowned, feeling uneasy: Meili was acting differently. Again.
Rather than answer the question, Meili turned Petra by the cheek so she would face her. "I'm finally ready now." Meili's voice, tone, and aura all became unusually tender.
"Wha—?! Here—?!" And Petra's red face was kissed.
Right on the mouth.
By Meili Portroute, Royal Mabeast Master and former assassin.
As soon as their faces popped in separation, Petra squealed, "In front of Subaru?! Meiliiiiii, that...! Th-that was my first kiss for spirit's sake!"
While the redhead rambled, Meili's warmth froze over upon glaring at Subaru.
Come to think it, just like Garf's, Meili and Petra's room was right next to him and Emilia's.
'Oh.' Subaru's eyes widened.
'Yeah. Oh.' Meili's lips twisted before wrenching away, dragging Petra—h-her girlfriend?—by the hand. "Come along, Petra. We must get you out of those filthy rags before anybody else sees."
"Meili?! I don't think that's possible! Th-the staff-! H-hey! That doesn't mean 'let's run!'"
Their banter quickly faded to distant echoes, then nothing.
Were they girlfriends? That's what that meant, right?
"Huh." Garf scratched the back of his head, frowning. Only to give a shrug. Then, "Wait." He perked up, facing Subaru. "Doesn't Petra have, like, a thing for you?"
She did. Moreover, Meili had encouraged her girlfriend to go on a suicide mission.
You Don't Know Me
