Let this track play as you read the chapter, from the start: watch?v=on1Evajh3Kct=1527s
It fits the mood not just of the scene, but its place in the story and the heart of it all - the group's dynamic.
Beatrice hummed, seated between Subaru's thighs. Her small but longish legs kicked as he soaped up her blonde curls in wide, smooth uppercuts. "So you say this is your… your third time living out these next couple days?" she continued, ending the awkward silence.
"Yep. It's been too long since my last bath, so I'm gonna savor this one." As he sculpted Beatrice's hair into a literal mountain—to the sound of zero protests—Subaru bowed his head. "But, yeah, to answer your actual question: yes. I've failed twice now tryna stop these Witches. And it's looking really promising so far! Might even have an idea as to where they're comin' from."
"How diligent. Just don't forget, you need Betty to be at full strength, I suppose."
"You bet your butt, I do!" It was easier to be giddy, even with such a heavy topic, when it involved Beatrice looking like this. "Meili and I were just getting to talking about that, actually. So you didn't really interrupt." Subaru could feel the objections and indignation rise within his Great Spirit.
"Without Betty, I suppose?"
And the verbal tic reveals her true worry once again. "No, not like that." Subaru smiled as he flew around her soapy Troll-hair to smooch Betty's cheek.
"Agh!" she snapped, rubbing her reddening face whilst shooting glances at a lounging Meili. "I hate it when you do that in front of others, I suppose!"
A laugh exhaled through Subaru's grin. "Sorry, Beako. I didn't think you'd wanna hear, quote, 'the details of my grisly demise,' so I thought that…" Beatrice tensed, processing words she knew she didn't say this loop. Softly, Subaru continued, "So don't go thinking it's because you were afraid, alright?"
"B-but I—"
"I know a part of you is, Beako. I know I am. One of the things I'm most afraid of is hurting you, actually." Apprehension—cowardice—gripped Subaru by the heart; he was keeping his words in, with or without Satella's intrusion. "But… you've done nothing but maintain a respectful distance from me. O-one with open arms!" That last part was a painful lie. "E-even if you won't show it…" He couldn't lie again, not so obviously to Beatrice.
"Y-yes, of course, I suppose."
Part of Subaru knew she didn't believe that. He hoped this was his anxiety whispering in his ear. "I didn't wanna bother you, Beatrice. But I'm sorry you felt like I was abandoning you. That's the complete truth."
"Then… make it up to Betty by bothering her as much as your heart desires. She's with you always." Her hand found Subaru's, giving his thumb a squeeze.
"You keep saying that," Subaru said, fondly, and with an ache in his chest. 'I want to know,' it panged within. 'I wanna know why you keep hiding from me, Beako.'
It was a desire Subaru firmly believed wasn't out of selfishness, for he couldn't care less about himself feeling better: 'I want to know why you're hurting so bad, so that I can try helping you.' Subaru tried not to think about himself being the sole cause of her current pain; a happy medium could only be found if Beatrice was willing to meet him halfway, emotionally. She had to take his hand again.
"So." Beatrice's nasally voice hit with solid flatness. "You didn't know about Petra and Meili, in fact?" Suddenly moving on.
"Y-yeah, so?! Garf didn't!" He slapped Beatrice's hair into a soggy haystack.
"And ground dragons don't realize we see them more as tools than pets. Some truths are just simply ugly, nothing more, I suppose. Ignorance is bliss, is it not?"
Meili's face, as she was lounging with one leg over the other, lifted one eye open. "Is that an unsavory analogy about my relationship, I hear?"
"Ha! Betty gave it little concern until you decided to use it, and Petra, to get at Subaru! You little villainess."
"Ah-h'ah. Yes. You're so smart, Betty—"
"Beako, hey, cut it out." No fighting while naked (barring Beatrice) in the bath—this was awkward enough already. "Or do you wanna hear about how utterly perfect and flawless you've been since this all started?"
"Wh-why do you make it sound like such a bad thing, I suppose?"
"It will be, if you say something to Meili you can't take back."
Who smiled at that, humming a bit loudly. "Oh, I'm not so thin-skinned as to be cut by the likes of her, Subaru. Though, I appreciate the concern, of course. Rest assured: nothing in Betty's feeble deck of quips is capable of shaking me. At least, no more than the thoughts I've already had myself."
Subaru smirked confidently at Meili, remembering the reality in which Beatrice broke her with a harsh reminder of it. He poured all his being into the moment, this nightmare's lighthearted pause: "Even so, don't go thinking you've been a flawless angel yourself, Beako!"
"Agh, my hair!"
Subaru continued harassing her with a noogie. "I got some dirt on ya like you wouldn't believe! Dirt that'll embarrass the heck outta — !"
"Shut up. I know, in fact!" Tiny fists crashed—the splash dousing Subaru with a step below magma, as well as flattening Beatrice's hair into a dark, gold waterfall.
Subaru sputtered, wiping his face alongside Meili, who threw herself upright in a coughing fit. Smooth effing joke, me.
"King o' Cool, right 'ere," rasped beside him.
Subaru overreacted, "You know what , Mei—?!"
"I-I'm sorry." Beatrice's face was downcast, face hidden—the hands between her thighs coloring it. "I know you weren't referring to Betty's past sins, I suppose."
"I wasn't." Despite his thoughts that led to this moment, Subaru only had a mind to share the funny times—but Beatrice remained speechless. "I really wasn't."
"I know, I suppose."
"Beako—"
"Stop, you can't help Betty with this, I suppose!"
Subaru understood that instinctive lack of trust all too well. Yet, to be on the receiving end of it? There was nothing more that he could do or say, not without turning this into a big emotional scene. If they were alone, that wouldn't be a problem, but…
"You mean the world to me, Beatrice. No matter what." This was Subaru's best right now. Maybe it was cowardice—his talk with Meili still fresh out of the oven.
"S-Subaru…" Beatrice's hands broke the surface, clasping each other tight against her chest. "Subaru, I… I already miss the days when hearing that would make Betty's heart soar, in fact…"
Knowing where her dark mind was at, Subaru reactively recalled, 'No matter what,' first. She was putting an unbearable amount of guilt on herself, and Subaru, the cause, had no idea of how he could help shoulder it. "You've always been good to me, Beatrice. I swear… on our contract, I swear."
"I… I have no choice but to believe Subaru if he's going that far, I suppose."
"Yikes." Meili stiffened under Subaru's glare, her apologetic face sinking to her nose.
"I'm sorry." This was the most Beatrice had ever apologized in such a short amount of time. "I really didn't want to make a scene, in fact. I wanted to help keep Subaru's mind off of scary and painful things."
"It's really okay. The mood'll bounce back in no time, it always does! Let's blame my big mouth on this one, Beako."
"You mean your thoughtlessness?"
"Thank you, Meili."
She tittered in reply.
And Beatrice chuckled weakly in kind. "Let's try again, with effort this time—let's relax and forget our troubles."
The door opened. "And with that," called a silver-haired young lad, "I make my timely arrival!" He had a bounce in his step, the cheeky guy.
"O-Otto?! Why're you—?!" And he only held a towel around his waist. Otherwise—
"I always forget how jacked Mister Suwen is." And in comes Meili with her bold lack of filter.
"Whatever do you mean?" Otto lowered himself into the bath on the opposite end of theirs, his towel thrown away as he vanished deeper within a screen of bubbles. "We do this every night, pretty much."
"And just as I forget you exist when you're not directly in front of me, so, too, do I forget your unnecessarily perfect figure."
"I'm gonna be gone one day, and you'll regret putting that thought in my head." Otto spoke like this was a routine. "Anyway, I take my health very seriously. You should, too." He lounged in a mirror of Subaru, head lolling back. "Ohhh-h'oh-h'oh-h'ohhh! …My back," he muttered, "is ascending to the af-ter-life~ "
"You say that," said Meili, "about your health. Which is true! You never miss Subaru's morning calisthenics—"
"Nor do you ." Otto's finger pointed like a bullet.
" Not the point." Meili's tone gave away that he got to her, losing the game. "And yet, despite this diligence, you're quite fickle when it comes to drinking."
" That's mental health, child. One oughta take better care of their physical health, too."
"It's rare for Otto to so obviously turn a blind eye to reality," Subaru remarked.
"That goes for you, too, Mister Natsuki! You and Meili, I'm pretty sure your diets are eighty-percent meat, collectively! Before long, your arteries'll clog!"
"How blunt and rude, Otto. Why, how could you?"
"I call it getting older, Mister Natsuki."
Mulling this a moment, Meili couldn't bring herself to do more than shrug: her thoughts on Otto's dieting advice.
Subaru found himself staring at the once-merchant—and his vaguely chiseled features. Why? "Otto's not jacked! B-by the way," he thought aloud. "He's muscled, but I'm way more jacked than him." Subaru didn't know why he wanted to assert this.
"Well, yeah." Laying back, Meili kicked a leg up out of the water, crossing it with a raised knee. "But you're Subaru, so it doesn't count for much."
"Whassat supposed to mean?" Was she ribbing him for not being manly, like Ram?
Beatrice tilted her nose into view. "It means that you're supposed to be in peak physical condition, unlike the desk jockey, I suppose. Ergo, it's not as special to Meili. However, Betty takes great pride in Subaru's maintenance of his physical health, in fact!"
"Aw, shucks." He pat her head, smiling genuinely as the tension left Beatrice, her back and shoulders drooping. "Cuuuute!~" he crooned, soapy fingers kneading her scalp.
"Stoppit." Beatrice's curtain of solid gold swayed this way and that as she hummed. "Don't get comfy… Betty's still mad… at Subaru… in fact."
"Yep. I know you hate me. I'm just washing your hair, like a good little ground dragon."
"Hmph. You cheeky man. If 'returning via death' hasn't culled this arrogance, there's truly nothing Betty could do for it in our next hundred years together, I suppose."
Subaru gave a start, his fingers tightening a little around his Great Spirit's head. "Th-thanks." He didn't have time to babble an explanation.
"Eh?"
"Th-thanks for being with me, Beako. That's all."
"Hmph! Just when I got done scolding Subaru for his cheekiness, too, I suppose." Her irritation was as halfhearted as her scolding, Betty's bored, damp expression tilting up to gaze upon Subaru. "Like it or not, we're bound by more than something as brittle as a verbal promise. Though, Betty does not dislike this one bit. And neither does Subaru, for some incomprehensible reason, I suppose."
"Hey." She grunted as he featherlight-clapped her cheek. "Don't bother saying nonsense you know you'd end with an 'I suppose.'"
"And I ask the same of you." A small, daring smile graced Beatrice's lips. "Betty prides herself on her ability to speak from the heart, I suppose!"
"Do you? I seem to recall you cursing that every time I tease you about it."
"I curse you, Subaru." Beatrice huffed with fondness. "But I'm with you forever, in fact. Always. Don't make Betty repeat herself a third time, Subaru. Ever. Promise me that, and this Betty will forgive you, I suppose."
Subaru never, not once, doubted who was number one in Beatrice's heart—but that wasn't her point, and to insist on that… He could sense that thoughts of 'cowardice' radiating from Meili. "I-I promise." Subaru could do this much, loop his one arm limply around his spirit's shoulders as they lurched in surprise. "Beako, I promise. I promise, I'll never forget how much you care again."
A soft, shaky exhale. "That's good enough, I suppose."
Subaru was trying to muster the press on when, from beyond the slightly parted door, screamed, "DON'T-LOOK-I'M-NAKED!"
"PETRA LEYTE!" an obvious someone roared.
But the door blasted open undeterred. Subaru averted his eyes as a skinny redhead tossed away her shoulder-draped towel, bounding over a surprised Otto with a— "Boom!"— foot to the cranium.
He, then Petra, fell into the bath in quick succession. The vaguely humanoid shadow swam fast for the trio on the other end, like a seal beneath icebergs of soap. Meanwhile Otto lifted from the water, rubbing the back of his head, grumbling. A second of stillness, and a majestic Petra breached before Subaru and Beatrice, shrilling a delighted gasp as they were doused. Petra twisted with the motion, plopping herself in place between Subaru and Meili.
"Hiya, gang!" she chirped, dripping wet and grinning, one leg crossing widely over the other. The shorter Meili's arms crossed beneath the surface, as though intimidated by Petra's boldness.
"See, Meili?" Subaru gestured. " She's cool. You should take notes from this one."
"She's shameless is what she is," said Beatrice.
"I like to think of it as," Petra said, stretching her arms, "carefree!"
"I say, 'stupid!'" Otto called. "'Boorish and unintelligent!'"
"I find it… enviable."
Subaru nodded in understanding to Meili. "And all of that is, indeed, the essence of what it means to be 'cool.' This has been Subaru Natsuki's School of Cool, class is dismissed."
"Woohoo! I get perfect marks!"
"Yeah, but your extra credit gets a big fat 'zero.' Mind telling me why you invited yourself into the Royal Bath, Petra? And streaked the Royal Wing of Lugnica Castle, in the capital city of Lugnica, in Emilia's Kingdom of Lugnica?"
"Well, when ya make it sound so big a deal, what other reason could it be?" Petra grinned, framed by her long, sunset-orange hair. "I wanted to see ya, Subaru! You hid from us at dinner, too, after all!"
He and Beatrice at once said, respectively, "I wasn't—," and, "He wasn't, I supp—," when an actual lion clawed around the corner, whipping into the bathroom, her back-half sliding further down the hall. She galloped, leapt over Otto. Subau caught a flash of a fur-covered woman before impact, a tsunami washing over someone's yowling little voice.
Then, the shark-toothed blonde breached a group of foam clouds, gasping. "Petra!" Frederica's green eyes flashed, petrifying her subordinate. "You should know better than to behave so uncouthly!" She winced apologetically to Otto at the sound of his coughing.
"And what happened to 'no beast transformations in the castle?'" Petra cried. "You're lucky Big Brother isn't here, or he'd be tearing into ya for sure!"
"B-be that as it may!" Frederica said, flushing from more than just the water. "I… at least… had decency on the forefront of my mind. I understand how hard it is to change from one's roots, Petra, but a lady of the castle must have a sense of dignity if she's to serve royalty. It's been years since you left Arlam, after all."
"Hmph!" Petra pouted, a sixteen-year-old.
Frederica had no idea what Petra had been up to today—Subaru could tell by how unusually forgiving she was with this in mind. "I'm more shocked to hear you tryna excuse yourself," he teased, speaking kingly: "'Shocked and appalled,' I dare say."
Frederica stiffened, then bowed her head quickly. "Forgive the insult, Your Grace. I was… losing reason to embarrassment."
"Just now, or—?"
Petra said, "We were takin' so long 'cause Big Sis was fretting over how to get in the bath."
"My apologies." She maintained her bow.
"I can't help but feel a little bit insulted. I mean, I'm really not that kinda guy, Fred."
Frederica was still as a statue, bent as she was. "As I said, forgive the insult. We're at the point, now, where explanations will sound like excuses, but know that it had absolutely nothing to do with what you're thinking. If anything…" Her head lifted slightly, her face writ with melancholy. "It's nothing so 'normal,' Your Grace. I'd like to leave it at that, if you don't mind."
Subaru was about to insist that he didn't truly feel offended, setting aside his belief in her, when: "It's quite the common fear, Frederica. You're not alone, and you never were," called a snooty voice from the doorway. "King Barasu's lecherous gaze is forever one to watch out for. I'd hate for your womanly figure to be lavished over by his ilk."
"H-hello, everyone! Good evening!" The twins were wrapped up in a big towel—half-pink and half-blue, of course—like a double-demon burrito.
They were cute; part of Subaru was still trying to catch up from Otto's sudden appearance. " Why is everyone in here?!"
"You're clean," said Meili. "No one's keeping you hostage."
"Y-yep! We're just here to relax!" Petra yanked her girlfriend in a one-sided embrace.
The mabeast master gave a hoarse squeal like nothing else. "Petra-Petra-PETRA—!"
"Okay, does everyone know about this relationship except me and Garfiel?" Subaru asked the neutral Frederica.
"'Relationship?'"
"W-would you like to stay a few minutes longer, Subaru?" The twins had been shuffling over, just their heads and bare feet moving within the two-toned blanket. "Though, of course, you don't have to if there's something that needs tending to. But Sister and I just got here, and we wanted to spend time with you. Nothing more."
"But we aren't staying if you gaze at any of us girls for longer than two seconds."
There was no point in arguing, nor making a fuss. Subaru sighed, defeated. "Duly noted, Ram. I'll be sure to take plenty of mental snapshots, then."
"This is a situation where joking does the opposite of putting everyone's minds at ease. Ten-out-of-ten, Barasu."
"Would you stop making it needlessly worse?" Subaru cried. "Need I remind you that I'm a married man, you depraved little oni? And this is weird, a-and sudden! I'm off my game!"
"No, I'd say this is par for the course. A perfect game by Barasu's standards."
"Is the bar for my humor really that low?" Subaru choked.
"Ground-level, actually." Ram's smirk died as they stopped at the bath's edge, the twins ready to situate themselves in a space between Subaru's group and Otto and Frederica. "Hmm."
The blue of Rem's side bunched up to her pinkening cheeks. "Um, S-Subaru, I ask that you please refrain from looking at my body."
"You're making Rem's flawless, soft skin crawl, Barasu! Repent with your life!"
"I-I wasn't looking! I swear!" Only now did he have his eyes shut and covered on top of that. What, why?! What is with this situation?!
"Why the heck?" Petra grumbled under her breath. "Your figure's absolutely perfect, ya worrywart."
"That's exactly what she's fretting over, I reckon."
"Subaru does still harbors innate feelings for the blue one, I suppose."
"All of you," Subaru muttered aloud, "are getting the timeout chair." Such a thing did not exist.
"No, not the timeout chair!" Petra giggled.
Meili put a hand to her brow. "Spare us, a place to sit on?"
"Too cruel, I suppose. You're monstrous, Subaru… In fact!"
Subaru smirked, keeping his eyes squeezed shut. "I'll have Otto upgrade it to a timeout bed-o-nails. How's that?"
There was a double splash, Ram immediately saying, "Don't worry, Rem. I'll protect you." Subaru found Rem peering over an enclosure of foam, Ram swimming over armfuls of the stuff while chanting, "Divert the eyes of the pervert. Di-vert the per-vert, di-vert the per-vert~"
"A refined awkwardness you've birthed here. I hope you know that."
Ram stopped midway in carting another pile of foam. Then, with a shrug— "Di-vert the per-vert,"— she continued building a valiant defense of Rem's purity.
"Why'd you even bother giving that a second of thought?!" It's like she was trying to hurt Subaru's feelings. He didn't want anybody here, exposing themselves to him, in the first place. And yet, this was undeniably wholesome; it's obvious why this display—which has never happened before—was happening now. To spoil the illusion would not only be embarrassing, and insulting to their efforts, it would be impossible for Subaru to maintain what little control he still had over his friend's intentions. This could make the loop harder, and not just physically.
I feel so scummy, thinking of them that way. Even now—every loop thus far—they've reacted to Subaru's pain more than his desires. Keeping it out of the equation was his only mission right now, for the sake of his friends this loop and beyond.
Even though they were going to die—but nothing was going to change if Subaru kept making the same mistakes.
That is, of course, barring the buck-naked Garfiel entering the bathroom; that was never going to be rectified. "He's not even trying," Betty observed.
"Bro, towel , c'mon!" Petra cried, covering her eyes as Meili rolled hers shut.
"Wha'?" he yawned, scratching his chest. "Whassup?"
"Little Brother, you forgot your towel." Frederica had her back on him, eyes shut calmly.
"Oh. Aw, crap, yer right!" And he was off like a tiger with its tail between its legs.
Ram shook her head, smiling subtly. "He's such an idiot."
"Sister, is Garfiel not joining us in the bath?" asked the tuft of blue hair cocooned in soap.
"I'd like to remind you of my eternal apology for Garfiel's wild behavior, Your Grace," said Frederica.
Subaru didn't care. He was still smirking. "Did he get drunk at dinner, or what?"
She swam across the bath, towards him, pushing languidly through the water. "He was taking his after-dinner nap, actually. I roused Garf to join us, and he became predictably happy to comply after hearing that you would be there."
"Still took him a few to get here, it seems. I wouldn't mind letting the big guy sleep some more."
"Yes, well… Little Brother is still a little boy at heart. He didn't want us to go in together."
"Big Sister Frederica," Petra tutted. "Am I hearin' right? Is your shame really so great that you wanted an escort to the bath, even if it was your little brother?"
"For what? Like, to divert attention?"
"Frederica is on my level as always. Feel the weight of your place on the totem pole, Barasu."
"Ram, stop. That is a tasteless joke and it isn't remotely true. It's not that His Majesty's gaze incites discomfort, if it was there to begin with. Rather..." The Head Maid slowed still, her glare opening upon Petra. "It was cruel of you to run away from me, little one."
Petra winced, but only after hearing the growl of her old nickname. "Okay, alright, I'm sorry. I kinda feel bad," she said lightly. "But also, a little disappointed? Or disillusioned, rather?"
"Are you saying I'm a letdown, Petra?"
She waved her hands. "N-no, no! Nothin' like that! It's just… I guess, I had this image of you? And now, well, I'm realizing you're probably the girliest one out of all of us, and it's coming as a bit of a shock!"
All at once, Ram's eye widened, Rem tittered and Otto grunted positively. Subaru didn't know what else to do but give a single thumbs up in agreement. Frederica sank before Petra, all the way to her reddening cheeks. "Thank you for getting that out of the way before Garfiel could come back."
"It's not like having a hidden side is a bad thing, though," said Petra. "Like, if you're worried about how others see you? Then there's nothing to fear from everybody's little sister! To be honest, part of me's kinda always wished you were a little more feminine, Frederica." Petra grinned, red from saying that. "So, this's actually making me happy!"
"Y-you—? Err, wh-why? Petra?"
"Pfft." Frederica deadpanned in Meili's direction.
"Why else? Geez!" And Petra pouted playfully up at Subaru. "So does everybody get stupid as they get older?"
"In most cases, in various ways; you appear to be an early bloomer, I suppose."
Ram barked a laugh.
"Jokes aside," said Petra, flushed, "you both have been needing some obvious answers, the both o' ya: it's because I like seeing this whole new side of you! It explains so much about the people I love mo' omf ?!" Meili clapped her mouth shut. "I washn't gonna shay nuthin'!"
"If you're doing this on purpose, stop. Or I'll rip your tongue out through your belly button." Petra blinked, hearing what'd come out of that mouth. "I mean it," Meili insisted.
A surprising amount of relief washed over Subaru as Frederica's wide eyes darted from him to the girls; Petra was a great friend, but arrogance was an often fatal side effect to being successful at an early age.
"Is there a secret you want hidden from me?" Frederica asked. "Don't worry, I'm not one to pry. But if I can offer any insistence, Your Grace—"
"Naw, don't worry about it. It's fine." Frederica shouldn't have to go through mercy killing the monarchy again. Not even once.
Only now did he realize, from the utter lack of it, that Frederica had an eager glint in her eye just now. "Y-Your Grace? If I may be so blunt—"
Garf sprung forth from the doorway to the bath, ditching his towel there as he sailed, arm hooking around Otto's neck. "Chokeslam—!" Garf roared, crashing with bathwater and soap that nearly drizzled the twins.
"I'll have to correct him on that later," said Subaru.
"Oh, Your Grace, please refrain from teaching Garfiel anymore 'wrassling' moves to use on poor Otto."
"It's 'wrestling.' 'Wrestling.' C'mon, you guys got 'wrestle' in your dictionary. What's with the accent?"
"You complain about the weirdest things, Subaru." If Meili wasn't smirking, Subaru might have taken that as an insult.
"I'm not complaining! I'm baffled! There's a fine difference!"
Frederica sank to her neck, now flushed in the face. "M-my bad. I've grown accustomed to my brother's way of talking to me about it. At me, rather," she sighed fondly.
Petra heaved, throwing herself in a wave and paddling for her senior. "I'm still surprised that you'd get all weird around Subaru!" she giggled. "It's so unlike you. I can't help but wonder why you're so flustered~"
Please, no. Subaru didn't know if he could handle yet another pining heart on top of all this other crap.
But Frederica calmly smiled. "A romantic thought, Petra, but no. I guess you could say I'm getting a little more, hmm, self-conscious as I get older."
"You're just a few years older than me, Frederica. Don't talk like you're a grizzled war veteran." Although, in a manner of speaking, they all were—experience-wise.
"If we're on the topic of age, Your Grace," she said, passing Ram and a soap hill with Rem's face, taking Petra by the hands, "then I say you're far too young to be under all the pressures of being king. You and Queen Emilia. Numbers aside in her case, of course."
I'm sure my job is all you're referring to, Fred. Warmth from the gesture melted away any twinges of irritation. "And you? Carrying your people's future on your shoulders since you were a teenager?"
As Garf and Otto soaped each other's backs in the distance, Frederica pulled a paddling Petra from one side of the bath to the next. "If anything, Lord Roswaal shouldered that burden, long before I insisted that I was. I was older than you are, now, Your Grace, when it occurred to me that I was but a disillusioned child, clawing desperately for a place in this world. I was so self-righteous." She smiled big, close-lipped, as a hand went below her throat. "Thank you, as always, for that. Your Grace."
"Frederica, c'mon!" Petra whined, her feet kicking harder.
As she resumed giving her precious junior a ride, all Subaru could think was that he died and started over again and little else as far as Frederica was concerned. "You didn't even need me to give you a pep talk, Fred. Meanwhile, Emilia's the one you should be thanking. She's the one with all the pow—"
"But I already do, Your Gra— hayyyyyce?! " Frederica's sudden, uncharacteristic shriek made Subaru and even Beatrice jump, the twins and the guys in back startling in their direction.
Specifically not at Frederica, who gaped with parted lips, statuesque at Subaru's maiming. "S-S-Subaru?!" Rem jostled, scattering some foam as Ram gazed back in what Subaru could only describe was stunned silence.
"Uhh…" Where to start?
"Busted."
"Real helpful, Petra."
"I-I'm sorry-I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry!" Quicker than Subaru could process that, Frederica was bowing her head again and again, to Petra's uninhibited discomfort. "I'm so sorry for reacting that way, Your Grace! So sorry!"
"I-it's fine! It's shocking, I totally get it!" She's been extra 'Frederica' this loop, ever since the Reading Room exchange, but Subaru couldn't mull that over right now. "Bu-but Otto's already having another made of artificial od, s-so, no big d—!"
"You're putting him and those odsmiths to pointless work?" Beatrice grumbled.
" You need to play along," Subaru said through a strained smile.
"I muttered, in fact. Loudmouth."
"S-Subaru, wh—h-how?" Rem floated over on her raft of foam, most of which she brushed off her head, leaving a silent Ram behind. "Why did this happen? Where were the others?" she squeaked.
"It's fine, Rem-rin! I'm fine!" She wasn't convinced; sickness took root in Subaru's gut. "Really, check out what I had to deal with after we get outta here. It's over now, though! At least—! F-for the time being…"
"A-and…" Her big, blue eye darted about, widening on Garf's dark, downcast expression. "And… none of the others were involved?" Meili winced beside Subaru, while Petra, for all her bluster throughout today, turned away from a blank-faced Frederica. She lacked all emotion as well until her back was to the Head Maid, when Subaru caught a side profile of regret overcoming Petra's calm.
Why? She didn't do anything—nothing completely wrong or immoral. Maybe she blames herself for my arm. But after his talk with Meili, it likely went deeper than her feelings for Subaru.
"It's okay." Frederica's big hand covered almost half of Petra's throbbing shoulder blades. Caressing her from one to the other, Frederica said, "King Subaru has clearly dealt with the matter at hand, and he evidently managed without any harm coming to others. All things considered, this is an overwhelming success for the kingdom. Imagine how the populace will react to their devoted and selfless king." Her smile was so warm that it was almost stomach-churning.
'Eeyup,' Subaru nodded. "Things are settled down for the moment. Still, we should keep on our toes for the next couple days; I've already done all I can on my own. Now, it's looking like I'm gonna have to rely on all of you."
"We'll be ready," said Rem, a fist on her shoulder in pledge, "at a moment's notice." Ram seemingly hadn't moved, staring as though Subaru had just revealed his stump.
None of the younger girls said anything, nor did Garf. Subaru was relieved, but not so much that he could enjoy it with concern written on each of their faces. The thought of Beatrice and her expression right now were unthinkable.
Otto gazed directly at Subaru, face neither calm nor emotive.
"Yeah." Garf groaned, yawned, stretching his glistening arms. "Boss's got a point. We should re-coop while we can, and get our claws ready for when n' if the shit hits fula. "
"Bold strategy, Barasu." Ram perked up, seemingly at the mention of her magic. "Putting your flesh on the line while the rest of us do diligence by sweeping dust bunnies and cobwebs."
Subaru found he had a comeback ready for a Ram situation like this: "Come talk to me when you can help without arguing, and last longer than three minutes." He pointed to her with each finger counted—ignoring Garf's haunted look in her direction. "I'll reconsider your parole if you show good behavior and upstanding citizenship."
"When did you become such a woman, Barasu?"
At the same time Subaru's face twitched reactively, Ram's slackened as well.
And Rem spun on her equally quick, flinging bits of foam. "Sister, that is not what you should've said—!"
"Rem, Rem, Rem, it's fine! We're all good!" Subaru stressed, but as soothingly as he could manage. "Ram was just being her sourpuss self; the usual." Speaking of which, since when did Rem get so picky about her elder twin's ribbing? "Sheesh," he sighed. "All of you, you're so intense that it's making me tense-up."
"The feeling is mutual, Barasu."
"Sister? Are you upset with Subaru?"
Subaru felt heat like no other rush up to his face. "R-Rem, it's really okay—!"
"About what?" Ram wondered, drifting away. "If it's about before, I can take Barasu's weak insults. He knows I'll do what must be done when the time comes." Then, humming, Ram spun and quickly paddled back to her twin. "Although, perhaps I should evacuate with the castle staff while I still can. Wouldn't want my pride to be my downfall and traumatize Barasu forever."
"Ram, that's not what I meant—"
"Then say what you mean." Her gaze flashed icily upon him, despite the heat of the bath.
"Boss would carry on." All eyes, while Otto shifted away, turned upon the lounging bodybuilder, a steaming towelette draped across his face. "Boss'd cry and wanna die. He'd die first t' save yer grouch of an arse… But he'd carry on in the end. That's the kinda man he is… Ram, " the Sworn Shield growled, trailing off with a snarl.
Ram glared across the steaming sea of foam before turning away, towards the others with a scoff. Eyes shut, Ram mushed warm water and soap into her dry face.
Subaru let out a breath, and calmly asked, "Ram, would you mind helping me in this coming fight?"
"You're the king, Barasu."
And Ram was his maid. "And… and we're friends first. So, I'm asking you…"
She slackened with a short breath, only to smile a little smile to herself. "You expect me to obey a king, who asks for a favor as though it were a date?"
"Yeah," Subaru laughed. "There's no fooling you, Ram. That's exactly what I'm getting at, here." He realized he was scratching the back of his head to the sound of utter silence.
Specifically, to the sound of Ram contemplating this exchange with genuine weight. And then, she said, "Barasu, allow me to apologize for earlier. As you know, I'm not a morning person."
Garf yelped as he slipped, sliding completely underwater—yes, he and a surprised Meili and Rem head that right: Ram was apologizing, and for a stupid joke at that.
"Is there more, Sister?"
Ram crossed her arms. "No, I don't think so. By saying I wanted to apologize is in of itself an apology, no?"
"Ironclad logic as ever," muttered Subaru.
"Nah! I think just her armor's ironclad!" And then Otto choked, gasping as Ram shot a glare back in his direction.
Subaru couldn't help but smile in spite of this, to see Ram "stoop so low" as to redact an ill-timed jab. "Now who's the woman? You're fine, Ram!" Subaru scratched the back of his head. Playing it cool, more and more, was looking less likely to succeed than overcoming the Witches of Sin. Cooperation at least made the true challenge at hand more manageable for the time being.
"Alright, look. Everybody, real-talk: despite appearances, there's not a thing about any of this that I'm turning a blind eye to. I can tell you're all here, fretting over every little thing, because… well, you… care… about me. And I'm really, truly happy that you're all trying to do something, despite how scummy I acted this morning." Seriously—Subaru was incredibly fortunate to have such passionate friends.
"You weren't scummy, Mister Natsuki!" Otto called. "You were just being your sweet idiot self!"
Subaru poured all the heat rushing to his face into crying back, "How the heck are you hearing all this, man?!"
"You think my pointy ears are just for show?!"
"Cat-ears, bro!" Garf added, thumb jutting towards himself.
"You don't got cat-ears, Garf! They're cat- like, but not literally cat-ears!"
"What difference does it frickin' make!?"
All the difference, back where Subaru came from. He chortled at the ridiculousness of this exchange instead. "Yeah… yeah, a sweet idiot." Subaru smiled, scratching his cheek. "I guess that's a nicer way of describing me." It didn't change his irresponsibility and cowardice—he couldn't forget that.
"Holy smokes, is Subaru accepting compliments again?!" Petra cried.
That made him guffaw. "Oh, why can't I think of a comeback?" Subaru laughed.
"Because, Subaru," Beatrice smiled smugly, peering behind her, "this isn't something you can joke your way out of, I suppose. You can't avoid us hurting or getting hurt, and neither can you, in fact. That's the bottom line, and deep down, you know it. That is to say, you're our ground dragon, learning that it's more our tool than a pet, I suppose."
A serious shiver wracked Subaru through the heat of the water. "That's a dark joke, Beako. Like, pitch-black."
She gasped hurtly. "Y-you make those all the time, I suppose!"
"I don't and you know it! I make wholesome jokes, exclusively!"
"Is that what you're telling yourself as you take mental snapshots of our breasts, Barasu?"
"I am zero-percent that kinda guy!" he cried over Petra and Meili's giggling. "I swear to Emilia!"
"This is one-hundred percent ill-timing," said Ram, "but I'd like to feel clean already." And with that, she hoisted herself and sat down on the bath's edge. Subaru veered his gaze from the burst of water and soap that left with her. Lathering ensued, not just from Rem as she soaped her arms and shoulders, followed by, "Look in my direction, and you're getting gelded."
"Oh, my, God…"
"Does the prospect excite, Barasu?"
"It so does not! "
Beatrice went ramrod stiff. "I-i-it twitched, I suppose! "
"Noo, it didn't!" Subaru gripped Beatrice by the straps of her bathing suit, hoisting her out of the water and placing her overhead in his palm, grunting as he stood.
"You don't have to show it, Barasu! I believe you!"
"The water goes up to my waist, Ram! Shut up!"
"Woah! Woah!" Beatrice cried, laughing nervously as Subaru pumped his elbow smoothly, bouncing her.
"Y'know, Beako," grunted Subaru, pulling her back beside his ear, "it's times like these where I'm glad you're so LIGHT!" Beatrice cried as she went sailing halfway across the bath. "You were asking for this!" punctuated her crash, a small crater of water splashing the maids near the center.
The chaos gave way to calm—a calm underlain with giggling. Some giggling, those of Petra and Rem and Frederica, but a high, soft laughter over them all. Subaru looked to the guys before settling on a soap-garnished Ram, her legs crossed, one hand trying to smother the gentle, rare occurrence of laughter that came in more waves than a single scoff.
"What a stupid exhange," Ram sighed, giving one last chuckle. "I was not mentally prepared for that. And this childish behavior is virtually every night for you three? It's no wonder your immaturity hasn't curbed, Barasu."
"It wasn't that funny—ow!" He almost buckled at the pinch to the side, his exposed, armless one.
A dripping, long-haired blonde glared upon him. "Again."
"Fine, Fine. Garf! You wanna play 'Beako Ball?' Mili's not here, and I need a player two!"
"Sh-shut up, Subaru! Don't make this 'Beako Ball' sound like an actual game!"
He laughed, unable to keep a straight face. "Right. As if Emilia would wanna play catch with a living person."
"That's right, I suppose."
A muscled torso loomed up from behind. "Yeah, but I would!"
And then Beatrice screamed, plucked by the waist in Garf's hands. "Put me down, you oaf! Only Subaru gets to touch Betty's skin!"
"S'a good thing I'm jus' touchin' yer bathin' suit, then! Go long, Boss!"
Subaru did, only for Frederica to jump in his way. "I'll save you, Lady Beatrice!"
Petra waved her arms. "I gotcha, Betty!"
A wave all but blasted by Subaru, towards Garf and the annoyed, muzzled Beatrice huddled against his chest. "Otto, Meili's comin' like a water dragon! I need defense!"
"You sure do, big guy."
"OTTO!" Garf gasped as Meili headbutted him in the abs, knocking the wind out of the guy. Beatrice flew, crying, flailing through the air in Rem's direction.
In seconds she was where Beatrice had splashed, picking her up coughing by the shoulders. "Are you okay? I'm surprised you didn't lash out," said Rem.
"Me too, I suppose." Beatrice smiled up at her, then the maids between her and, finally, Subaru. "We should've done something like this ages ago, don't you agree?"
Subaru did, wondering why they never had.
In Which He Accepts the Friendship Thrust Upon Him
