A/N: This story was inspired by 'My Name Is' by GraySkies99 on . Also posted on AO3.

My name is Adrien Agreste.

Or rather, it was.

I'm a 15 year old model, student, best friend, companion, son, and superhero.

Surprise, I go by Cat Noir. A partner in crime with the love of my life, Ladybug. But of course, nobody knows that. It's a secret. I've kept it for just over a year now. I wish I could tell someone. Anyone. About my double life where I chase akumas and fight battles.

As a regular high school boy, I hung out with my friends a lot. Nino, my best friend, was always one to cheer you up, either by cracking jokes, or just babbling on about his life stories. He always tells me that my puns are terrible. So does Ladybug, but she's used to it by now, and when she doesn't know I'm looking I see a crack of a smile on her lips.

Then there was Alya. Boy, that girl could report like it was nobody's business. She was fearless, never afraid of an akuma or the akumatised victim. I guess since she's been bait for a lot of them it would start to rub off on her. She's also a great girlfriend to Nino. Though it makes me laugh whenever they disagree on something because she always wins against him. A specific memory that comes to mind is when everyone brought food for a class picnic in the park, and she started chasing him with a spatula because he ate half of the crackers.

And last but absolutely not least, Marinette. Oh, Marinette. Alya's best friend. She was a funny girl. She never seemed to be completely comfortable when she talked to me. At first I thought she hated me. Now I'm not so sure. In the six months that I've been here I've seen case after case of Marinette's kindness towards others. Marinette always puts others before herself, and she's always happy from what I can see. Her parents own Paris' most popular bakery, and she's well on her way to becoming a fashion designer, maybe even at Gabriel.

She deserves the world, that girl. She gave me her lucky charm as a token of our friendship. I've never taken it off since. It helps me throughout the day, especially during… well, you know.

So you can see, my life was overall okay. I mean, apart from my overprotective father and my lonely home life, all is good.

Correction.

All was good.

It started about a month ago. I started hearing voices. Feeling unworthy. Ladybug didn't love me. My father didn't love me. As far as I knew, nobody did.

Plagg told me that it was just the akumas and their spirits, trying to get into my head. It had happened to every black cat previously, though not even the Guardians of the Miraculous, not even great Master Fu, could figure out why.

I try to ignore them. Really, I do. I try blocking them out, telling them they were wrong.

They seem to go away when I'm with Ladybug, or with my friends. I think it's the good energy from them that drowns out the akumas.

When Ladybug and I finish patrolling over Paris and meet on top of the Eiffel Tower, she always comes back smiling at me. And I smile too. I can't help it, it's almost contagious. It lights up my whole day. Half of the times I crack those awful puns are so I can see her smile. She fills me with joy and love, completes me. She always knows the right thing to say or do and never screws anything up.

Yet she doesn't even know me. Because after we pound it, or we say goodnight, we part ways until the next time. With every goodbye I hope to leave with a peck on the cheek, or the words, "You know I love you, Cat Noir."

But…

But nothing.

Why do I expect this of her? We only know one side of each other, the false side that doesn't model or take Chinese lessons or have a mom that's MIA. The side that's carefree and cheerful and maybe a little crazy. The side that I wish Adrien Agreste could be.

I couldn't take it anymore.

While no-one was looking I pocketed a small knife from the kitchen. Locked my door and hesitantly drew a thin line onto my inner thigh, a place where it couldn't be visible during modeling. Not too deep, but deep enough that it would leave a scar.

I thought it would be my only one, just to help relieve the stress, the pain of it all.

I was wrong. One grew to two, then to five, then to eleven, and soon enough I had scars up and down my thighs. It had to stop.

I told Master Fu about it. He gave me a potion to drink that would calm me and drown out the voices temporarily. They were only going to last for two or three months, Plagg said. It was just a matter of time.

But then, last week, the bottle overflowed. The whispers tipped it over, spilling for all to see.

"You don't deserve to be alive, Adrien. There are plenty of other people who would be a better Cat Noir than you. Ladybug doesn't need you. No one needs you. You might as well be dead."

Plagg kept telling me to calm down. I got so worked up that I was this close to taking the ring off my finger. I told him I was done. I can't handle this anymore.

"You'll find another Cat Noir, Plagg."

"I don't want another Cat Noir, Adrien. I want you."

"You're just saying that because I give you cheese. Anyone can do that."

"Adrien, anyone could give me all the

camembert in the world," Plagg paused, "but it wouldn't be you."

He turned, about to float away, then spun around again.

"No one could ever replace you."

The memory still stings in my mind, eating at my brain. I can't disappoint him. I don't want to disappoint him. But my life is spiralling out and out of control and I can't put him through that. I can't be selfish.

So for this, I'm sorry, Plagg. Sorry I couldn't deal with it. Sorry that I wasn't strong enough to make it through.

Sorry that I'm not your black cat anymore.

I will miss him. Cat Noir, that is. He's always been the better and stronger Adrien, and I trust that Ladybug will give the Miraculous to someone worthy of it.

So here's what I'll do. Travel to the Eiffel Tower, but not as the black cat. I'll go to the very top, marvel at the sights that make Paris my home. The Notré Dame, the Seine, the Louvre. My heart is always tugged whenever I look longingly at the Tower.

I know what I have to do.

"Claws in."

I put the ring on my desk, and kissed Plagg goodbye. Before he could realise what's about to happen, I shoved the ring off of my finger and placed it down, sealing him inside.

I don't want sympathy, I don't want regret. I feel guilty enough as it is. I just want to be forgotten and fade into darkness.

My name was Adrien Agreste. My name was Cat Noir.

We were called 'Ladybug and Cat Noir.' On the news, in the Ladyblog, by the people. That name means so much to me. It reminded me that no matter what, we're a team.

Now it's just 'Ladybug'.