South Park, Colorado. A quiet town. Full of snow and people that are stupid and high or drunk all the time. I'm this city's savior but at what cost? I do all of this to put myself into harm's way. My backstory is unclear, however, I do have friends that know what I can do but they won't remember anything. Toolshed, Human Kite, that fatass The Coon, all of them know me outside of my hero persona. Do I trust them? I save them. They think that my power is a joke and not real. It's real alright. How do I get them to know that it's real? I'll just have to find out one way or another.
It's night-time where all of the villans come out to play. Coon and Friends are always on the case but we have a new team wanting to challenge us. Freedom Pals. These sons of bitches think that they can roll into town and kill off the crime. Not anymore. Worst part is, they're my friends too. I can't bear to go head to head with them but I must. It is time for me to awaken. I look upon this town and sigh and look at the roads and the snow. "It's too quiet. Weird. Hopefully that fatass doesn't call me in right now or I'll kill him." I don't like the way that Cartman calls his team in. He installed fucking handmade alarms in each of our homes and his annoying voice just makes me want to hurt him but I can't.
He gives us all radios too which is weird but the alarms are what tick me and the other members off. It's annoying. I have another persona but that's a different time. A time where a stick was being battled for. It's almost time for me to go back home and check on my sister and parents. My parents just get high all the time and operate a lab which has been stopped but they just fight and argue a lot.
It annoys the hell out of me but I love it because I have to protect my sister. She doesn't know how to protect herself but I'm glad that I do it for her. It brings people fear and nervousness. They now know to back off of Karen, my sister. As for my parents, I can't do nothing. I try to help them by secretly doing things like putting in tips but nothing works. I need them alive though because if I die, then how will I resurrect?
I look at the town one last time before jumping off the building, grabbing the ladder, and sliding down to the ground. At least I know what I'm doing and not actually half-assing this job. I start to walk back home, going East then heading North. I live in a run down house and it's not the best but it's helpful to know that I'm near Main Street. I'm glad that I have Toolshed and Human Kite as well as others to help me. Cartman is a dick.
He really is but he knows what he's doing. Barely. I help him before he made the team which was not fun but good thing Toolshed and Human Kite were there. Cartman is The Coon but the others, I'll let you figure out who they are.
Who am I you may ask? I'm Mysterion. Outside of this persona, is me, Kenny. Yes, people get called bastards when I die because it was their fault. It hurts though but I live with it. I'm trying to figure out why my life is like this.
Why I get resurrected after every death and why my friends don't remember me dying. I died before by railroads, trains, anything and everything. The sun's about to rise and I just made it back in time for my parents to see if I was asleep. I first check on Karen then go to my room. Karen is sleeping and seems to be doing well. I feel bad for her because she has to live with me being her Guardian Angel and me being her brother. It's all in a day's work though.
I sneak around the back window where my room is and get into bed but I switch out of my costume beforehand. I slip on my orange parka, then proceed to sleep for at least an hour.
"Kenny? Kenny. Wake up dude." A voice told me.
My voice is muffled since I have my parka on but the guys understand me. "What? I'm sleeping. Wait, who's talking to me?"
"Stan. It's me dude, come on and get up. Cartman wants us to go to his basement in non-uniform. Let's go"
"Fine. He still owes me for making him a cheeseburger. Damn fatass."
"I know I know. Just tell him and if he punches you, just rochambeau for the money. He'll go down easy."
"Yeah, thanks." I get up and follow Stan to the outside of my house. I find that the town was still quiet and I can also tell that Stan was worried as well. The way he rushes me to get out of bed. "You ok, Stan?" I ask.
"Kenny, Cartman wants all of us to know why Freedom Pals has a more bigger fanbase than us. I'm not too worried about it but you know him."
Stan sighs and stops. "Kenny, I may quit my persona. It's just not working out for me anymore."
"What the fuck are you talking about? You can't quit. We need you. If it's Cartman that's getting in the way-"
"It's Cartman and I don't want to tell him or he'll kill me. Literally. I don't know if I can tell Kyle or the rest of the Coon and Friends team."
"Stan. Don't quit on us. I'll find a way. The rest of the team will find a way even if it means we have to get Freedom Pals to do something with us. We can kick him out."
"You don't get it. We can't kick him out. We can't or he'll just whine and bullshit his way out of it. We're fucked dude."
"I said we'll figure out something, ok? Just trust us." I put my hand on his shoulder as he starts to sniffle.
"Let's just...let's just go dude." Stan walks away from me and stays ahead. I sigh and walk behind him.
The town is small and quiet, full of snow. Anything can happen here. We experience things that are absurd and weird to sad and very scary.
Stan has recently moved away but came back because his father was going out of business. His father, Randy, was running a cannabis farm but that burned down when his family made something that burned it down.
I was at Kyle's house when the news came on but knowing Stan, he's not doing too good. His backstory is not too good either. Guess who made that up? Cartman. Yep. He made all of our backstories but I created my own. Cartman hates when anyone goes against him so he hates me and makes everyone else hate me but they don't really hate me. They have to act like it though.
We finally arrive at Cartman's house and Kyle's waiting for us. He doesn't seem too happy. "Hey guys. Cartman isn't home again so we have to sneak in again."
"As always. Let's get this over with." Stan goes to the basement window and opens it. "We're in. Don't text him otherwise he'll yell at us and get his mom."
"Right. Stan, you ok man? You're acting sadder than usual." Kyle approaches Stan.
"Just don't ask me anything anymore. I'm done with this bullshit. You two can stay in here. I'm outta here."
Kyle backs off and walks next to me. "S-Stan? Something's wrong. What is it?"
"It's fucking Cartman! All of this! It's all his fault! He's going to forbid me to keep playing and I don't know what else to do!" Stan looks at us as tears start falling. "I'm done with this! I'm not going to deal with Cartman any longer!" Stan runs up the stairs and rushes out of the basement.
"Stan! Wait! Come on Kenny!" Kyle rushes after him as I shrug and follow him. "Stan! Just wait! Hold on!"
"Kyle, let him go home and relax. He needs to relax and chill out."
"How the fuck can you let him be like this? He needs us dude!" Kyle keeps running after him but Stan isn't in our sights anymore. We lost him. "Kenny, call him. If he doesn't answer, call his dad."
I nod and call Stan. He hangs up as soon as it rings. "No dice, Kyle." I call his house and it rings for a bit. "What if they don't answer?"
"Then we look for him. I'll take to the skies and you go do what you would normally do."
The phone picks up and his dad answers. "Hello?"
"Mr. Marsh, it's Kenny. Is Stan with you?"
"Oh, Stan? Yeah, he just came home, upset and ran to his room. He's been like this for a while now and I'm worried for him. He said that he doesn't want to talk to you either. What did you do to him?" The phone clicks and I put my phone away.
"Well?"
"Stan hates us now. He doesn't want to talk to us and his dad sounds pissed and suspicious."
"That's never too good. I'll check on Stan in a bit. Can you check on him first?"
"Yeah. See you at his house then. Call me if there's any trouble."
"You got it dude. See you later, I guess."
Kyle goes and walks away, towards his house as I go back to my house and get my costume. My parents aren't here so I'm in the clear. I get dressed and go out the window, close it, then go and check on Karen. She's sleeping but she wouldn't sleep for this long. I quietly enter her room and walk to her. She's facing the door, her back towards me, lying down on her side. This is oddly suspicious. I whisper for her. "Karen? Karen? It's me. Your Guardian Angel." I lightly shake her and she doesn't wake up. "Karen, it's me. Wake up." I go around her and place her on her back then check her pulse. "No...no...Karen! Karen, wake up!" She doesn't have a pulse and I don't know what to do.
I go and call the hospital for an ambulance for them to arrive within a few minutes. I wait outside waiting frantically as I rush back and forth between Karen and the outside. The ambulance arrives and I rush them over to where Karen is at and they take over.
I try to go to her but the Paramedics push me away and carry me to another room where I start yelling at them. Police start to show up and I yell at them, demanding that I see my sister. They try to calm me down but I can't control how I feel right now. I failed to do my job. I failed my fucking job! "You can't tell me to fucking calm down! Let me see her! Let me go with her to the hospital! Now!"
"Kid, look, just calm down. We'll be giving you a ride to the hospital and you get to see your sister then. Just answer my three questions first. First, who are you? Second, what were you doing when your sister was in that condition? And three, where are your parents?"
"First, my name is Mysterion-"
"Real name, kid. Not some superhero name."
"Fine. I'm Kenny McCormick. I was going around the city stopping crime. You should know who I am. I'm Mysterion. Second, I just told you, going around the fucking city, Third, I don't even know!" I see the Paramedics rush her out on a stretcher but I don't see any response from her. "Let me go see her!"
"Ok, ok, let's go. We got the info we need."
I rush out to the cop car and get in the back, as the cops are also rushing. They both enter the car and pull out of the driveway, making the tires screech. I look at the ambulance in front of us and tap my hand on the seat. Within a few minutes, we get to the hospital and I follow the paramedics to a room where a doctor waits as well as a Nurse. I stay in the room and put on gloves and a mask. "Hurry and save her! I need her alive!"
"We'll do everything we can, kid," The Doctor says.
I look at the screen where her vital signs are showing and look at her body. The screen starts to flash quickly as the Doctor and Nurse try to stabilize her but then, the long beep happens. I scream and yell at them but they ignore me and do compressions on her chest, trying to resuscitate her.
I start crying and start yelling for her name. "Karen! Fucking wake up! Don't die on me!" The Doctor stops and looks at me and shakes his head then goes out of the room. The Nurse begins to cry and walks out of the room.
I'm just left here, alone, with the light only on Karen. I walk up to her and look at her. I slowly put her teddy bear in her arm, pull her eyelids down, then slowly cover her with the sheet. I close my eyes as my phone vibrates. I don't bother pulling it out. I don't know what to think or do. I'm...I'm a failure. I failed at keeping her safe. I can't do this anymore. I have to quit being Mysterion. It's what I must do. My phone vibrates again and I quickly pull it out, answering it. "Who the fuck is this?!"
"Woah, dude, calm down-"
"Fucking calm down!? Fucking calm down!? Have you lost your goddamn mind!?"
"Kenny, what the fuck happened? It's me, Stan. Kyle's here and he talked to me."
"Oh! Want to know what happened? I just lost my sister! I failed to protect her! Do you hear me?!"
"Kenny...I-" I click the phone off and throw it at the wall. I run outside and then back to my house. I start punching the wall and throwing things around, breaking them. I'm all alone now. Karen doesn't have to suffer anymore being in a shit family. The window clicks open and Stan and Kyle appear.
"Kenny?" Kyle asks me.
"What the fuck do you want?!"
"We just came by and wanted to say that...we may not know how you feel but we're here for you. We're sorry for the loss of your sister and it breaks us too. She called everyone she knew her Guardian Angels. Even Cartman. We all feel like we failed but if you say you failed, then we did too. We're all in this together. Cartman is home too. Should...should we go tell him?"
"Let's go." I push them aside and jump out the window and run to Cartman's house. I sneak through his window and wake him up by slapping him. Stan and Kyle were behind me and went through the front door.
"Hey! What the hell's your pro- we're not playing superheroes, are we?"
"Look, fatass, my sister just died. How the fuck do you feel now about telling me to fuck off and to go away?!"
"You're not fucking with me, are you? If you are, then screw you."
"Does it look like I'm messing with you!?"
"No, you're not. Dude, I'm...I'm actually really sorry man. We all failed, didn't we?"
"Yes we did fail. It's all my fault!"
"Cartman! We made it here and we thought that Kenny- oh, he's here," Kyle says.
"Dude, did you know about this?"
"Yes, me and Stan were told but you weren't here so we're telling you now."
"Oh my God...summon all the Coon and Friends, now! Not on the alarm, on their phones."
Kyle nods and goes out to the basement. Stan follows him. I get off of Cartman's bed and walk to the basement. I sit down and put my head on the table and cry.
Cartman enters and sits at his seat and stays silent where Stan and Kyle stand at the door, waiting for everyone else to arrive. Soon after, the rest of the people show up and stay silent since Kyle and Stan told them to keep quiet. Everyone sits down and keeps quiet as I keep crying. Kyle writes on the board what happened and what we should do.
Cartman pats Kyle on the shoulder and turns on the TV where the news was on and it was showing them at the hospital and describing what happened. Everyone looks at the TV, even me. It then cuts to my family, crying and hugging each other.
I get up and walk to the TV. My parents don't know how to react but all they can say is they're sorry. Sorry for what?
"Cartman, turn it off! Turn it off!"
Cartman turns off the TV and looks at everyone in worry. I sigh and sit back down. What should I do? I can't be angry right now. I don't even know how I should feel. I should probably go but I should stay. I'll just stay with them for now. "What should we do?"
"Kenny? Are...are you ok?" Kyle asks.
"Let's go fight some crime. I need to get my mind off of this" I go and jump out of the window and wait for everyone else at the front door. Everyone waits wondering what is going to happen to me but they shake their heads and come outside only to see me sitting on the porch with my head down.
"Kenny, if you ever need to-" Kyle starts to approach me.
"I'm fine. I'll. Be. Fine. Let's go. Let's just fucking go." I get up and walk towards Main Street. The others are very worried about me and I don't want them to worry about me anymore.
I'll just go and figure out what we can do. That is if Cartman wants to even go and actually take things seriously. The others follow in behind me, worried about what I could do next. They don't want to say anything because they've become afraid now. What they've become afraid of is me.
It feels like I'm turning to a more darker power but I have the others here to help me change if I do change sides from light to dark or if I change to Freedom Pals which I don't really want to. But, if I do turn dark, it means that I go against both franchises and do things the way that I want to do it. It's the only way that I can deal with this. I need to figure out what I can do to turn against these fuckers.
I turn towards them and uppercut Toolshed then look at the others. They're scared but they know what this means. They must take me out for good.
"Dude! What the fuck?! Why did you do that!?" Human Kite asks.
"I can't deal with this pain anymore!" I approach them as a dark glow appears around me.
"Coon! We must do something!" Toolshed says.
"I know I know. We must fight Mysterion and kill him for good!" The Coon takes his claws out and gets into position.
"I know what I must do. I must turn against the light to go to the dark. No one can save me now for my mind grows more into darkness. Good luck fighting me. I'll see you soon…" I throw firecrackers and smoke then quickly run away to where I'm above them, out of sight. I look at them before turning away and running back to my house. I cry along the way home but I know I must hide any sign of weakness. I sneak into my room, switch out of costume, and get into bed. I'm sick and tired of following their rules. Time to make my own.