Eventually Chapter 1, an evangelion fanfic

Eventually

Story By A Writer With No Name

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NEON GENESIS EVANGELION! NOR ANY OF THE SONGS REFERENCED IN THIS PIECE OF NON-PROFIT FAN BASED FICTION! PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!

Chapter 1: She Arrives

Shinji wakes up on a speeding train. The sun shines through the windows onto his face, waking him from his deep slumber. It's the early morning on the day when he left for Tokyo-3. He would recognize it any day, because it was repeated in his mind by the Angels many times. Now, here he was, reliving that very day. Remembering all that happened before, or to be more specific, what is destined to occur.

Images of his friends dying, being turned into LCL right before his eyes. Watching the world's oceans turn red, as all of humanity is absorbed into the black moon. Glowing green crosses sprouting up and the horrific manufactured EVAs were being crucified. The screams, so many screams, and worse they were being caused by him. Shinji felt an overwhelming amount of regret that made him feel colder than he ever felt before.

The memory that broke him, was the final image he saw before he woke up here. He was choking Asuka because he thought she was another illusion. Much like Rei standing on the water. He wanted her to die again, much like what he did to her illusion before. Then she reached out to touch him and that's when the truth hit harder than a planet. This was the real Asuka, she was heavily injured and needed help. Yet his first response was to kill her.

'What have I become?' he thought.

He started to uncontrollably weep after he took his hands off Asuka's throat. He covered his face to hide himself from the world. Though even then, it wouldn't stop him from hearing Asuka say:

"I feel sick."

She was right, she had every right to look down upon him. After everything he had done to her and to the world. He didn't deserve to live. That was the last thing he remembered before waking up in this train. It made him shiver, like this was exactly the next day. How could he move on after something like that? He couldn't, he physically could not move on. His shaking couldn't stop, nor could his crying.

He fell out of his seat onto the train floor. Curling up into a ball, shaking and crying like he always did. Nothing has changed except for the day and even then, he didn't know how that happened. What sent him back to this point? Or is this the world that he wanted before, but didn't need anymore? In the end he didn't care, nothing would change how he felt. He just wanted to die, because if he lived on any longer. He would cause the world to die again.

No, he wouldn't let that happen. So, he did the world a favor and positioned his tongue under his teeth and-

"Stop."

Shinji froze as an ethereal voice pierced his mind. It forced him to stop by command, yet Shinji didn't even see where it came from. What followed was the slapping sound of wet feet coming closer. He turned to look towards it, and he wished he never did. A tall blood covered deformed human shaped being loomed closer. Watching the boy with invisible eyes. Its joints were in different places, and it appeared that it was she due to the shape of her naked red covered skin.

If the boy wasn't already broken enough, this tipped him over the edge. He started mumbling gibberish. Twitching sporadically at the overwhelming emotion he felt. He was terrified beyond belief and felt like he had died and gone to Hell. No need to kill himself when he knew that he would be reliving torture over and over again. He was so far gone; he didn't notice a small bit of blood on the being's face. Was being washed away by invisible tears.

"Slow."

The being spoke, this time not in her ethereal voice, but in a calm quiet manor. Soon after that, time seemed to slow down. The train, sun, and clouds in the distance seemed to all but stop. Shinji continued not to notice, he was still broken and twitching. He even started laughing and banging his head against the ground. He only stopped when the blood-soaked hand of the being touched him on the head. Through that contact, Shinji felt warm. Like a little bit of life was given back to him. Soon to be followed by the being lying down next to him.

Shinji's nervousness came back, as the oddity of the situation made him tremble. Though he slowly calmed himself, as the warmth continued to envelope him. Alongside the sound of crying, not coming from him, but from the being. She fully embraced the boy there on the cold hard floor. Though the blood mixed with her presence was almost pure bliss.

They laid like that for what felt like hours. She hummed a familiar tune, one that Shinji couldn't exactly remember, but felt like he knew his entire life. In between the brief instances of blood being rubbed on his face and body. He was able to see the invisible being, slowly filling herself in. It made Shinji's heartbeat faster, as she started to resemble a woman more and more. Though without any clothing to cover herself.

Once she was whole, she unwrapped herself from Shinji. The boy was now covered in the blood she was covered with. It helped hide his reddening face that he was gaining due to staring at a beautiful naked woman. Even though he was embarrassed, he couldn't look away. It felt like an odd mixture of pleasure and horror to gaze upon the being's beauty. His eyes followed her as she rose from the ground. Gazed into her eyes, which despite being colored a beautiful shade light blue. Mixed with her long brown-reddish hair that ran down her smooth blood-soaked skin. Still felt intimidating, like she wasn't really there. It felt like Shinji could almost see through her.

"Young Shinji." she spoke.

This semi-broke the boy out of his mesmerized state. As her voice once again echoed in his mind like it did before.

"Y-Yes?" he asked softly.

"You are destined to save this world, but the odds have been stacked against you substantially. As you have recently seen."

Shinji shivered as the memories of before washed over him. That feeling of not being able to move came back as well. He desperately wanted to go back to hugging her like before, but when he reached out to her. She simply raised her hand, indirectly telling him to stop. And with those eyes that gazed into soul, he had no choice but to do as she wished.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot hold you forever. Despite your conditions you must continue on. With this new experience you can change your past. Rewrite the wrongs you have done upon others. As well as beat those who wish harm upon you."

Shinji grew frustrated at that statement.

"Easy for you to say. I don't know what you are, but you clearly know what I am like on the inside. I'm no hero, I'm just me. A boy who wants to die and leave this world."

"You can beat them. You simply must think of a better solution. Instead of retreating into your own bubble of music and isolation." she responded.

"That's all I know how to do. I don't know how to talk to people. Let alone to reach out and ask for help. Besides, those around me don't want me anyways. You heard what they said to me. I'm nothing, a failure, a coward, I don't even love myself let alone them."

"You know as well as I do that, they never said those things. You wanted them to say that, to the point where you envisioned it in your LCL state."

She was right, he had done that.

"No! That was them! We were merged as one! They let me know what they thought of me. Especially Asuka!"

"Ah yes, your partner. The one you were destined to be with."

This caught Shinji off guard. Hearing that was like a revelation and an insult.

"How do you know!? She hated me, all the way to the bitter end. I'm disgusting, I make her feel sick. How would she be attracted to me in the first place?"

"Because you and her are one in the same. Alongside Rei, Kaworu, your father Gendo, and your guardian Misato. You've all lost something and can't express how deeply you've been hurt. All you need to do is talk to each other. Then you-

"YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK TO MY HUMAN SHAPED STAIN OF A FATHER!?" Shinji erupted, now catching the being off guard. "I'm nothing to him! And after this, he's nothing to me as well! All he did was enable me to cause more pain! He doesn't deserve my forgiveness! Nor anyone else's!"

Shinji curled up at that statement. Almost like a turtle going back into its shell. The being watched him do this and allowed herself to cry. Making her sniffs and cries audible, as to gain the attention of the boy again. Which it did, as he looked up at her again.

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

"Why else? I feel sorry for you."

Shinji's heart nearly stopped, as he had never heard that from someone before.

"You poor boy. You've been shaped into this helpless state, to the point where you make a sound argument for why you want to die."

She then reached behind herself.

"I didn't want to give you this, it might amplify your isolationist ways, but I see that it is no longer an option. It is now a necessity."

From behind her, she pulled out Shinji's SDAT player. It was shiny now as if it had just been cleaned. She held it out in the palm of her hand. Giving him a sign that he should take it. After much hesitation, Shinji did reach out for it. Then, right as he touched the device. The being's other hand was quickly upon his forehead, with her thumb in the center. She gave him a sympathetic look, before saying:

"I'm sorry, but this is going to be painful."

After a flash of bright light that only he could see. Shinji felt the most unbearable pain he had ever felt. All condensed into his head. The boy screamed and grabbed his head to rub it, but even that caused more pain. He rolled around on the floor, unable to even see where he was going. Because all he could focus on was his aching head. All this happened while the blood soaked being stayed quiet.

A few minutes later. Shinji stopped screaming, but only because his voice had gone a bit horse. He still looked like he was in pain. He felt like he just wanted to end it all. Though the pain did seem to be subsiding. The being came to his side and helped him up to his previous seat. She stroked his head, her now cold hand felt good against his increasingly warm skin. Slowly, but surely, Shinji began to regain his composure and understand where he was in space and time. All while his head still pulsed from the pain.

"I'm sorry Shinji, but it was necessary." her voice felt like pins poking his head.

"Stop! Stop talking!"

"I know you're in pain, but if I give you time to get used to it. We'll be here all day. Right now, I need to confirm a few things with you."

"Later! I don't care if it will take all day!"

He cried in pain again, more tears streamed down his face. Washing away the blood.

"Just answer me this, what instrument do you play?"

"If it will shut you up, then fine! I play the cello…...and guitar…...and bass…...and…."

He couldn't stop counting, as he realized that he now knew the ins and outs of almost every single instrument. It made his head hurt more, but he was too amazed to care now.

"I…. I know them all." Shinji said with an amazed spaced-out look.

"Good, very good." a smile grew on her face. "Now, visualize something. Like an apple or an orange. Make sure you wear this when you do it."

She put the earphones in his ears. Making Shinji cry in pain again, although it was more in annoyance now than horrible pain. The music playing was Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. A piece all too familiar to the young boy. One of sorrow and isolation in the cold moonlight, followed by happiness and lighthearted chords. It was with this song, that Shinji didn't just follow the being's advice. He went above and beyond.

He created a vision where he found himself back to his old hometown out in the countryside. The rice fields were glistening as midnight approached. Instead of a train seat, he and the being sat in rocking chairs that started to sink into the fresh muddy soil. He could smell the richly sweet air that would rise in the night. It helped him relax and focus on the beauty around him. Shinji turned to the being, who was amazed by what she was seeing. Her naked body was now even more alluring now that it was lit by the moon.

She could sense this and simply stared at Shinji with the same soul piercing look. This kept him at bay but served a purpose for him to catch her off guard when he handed her an apple. One that felt so real that when she took it, she dared to take a bite. It tasted delicious, so juicy and bittersweet. Then the song ended, and the apple disappeared from her hand. They were back in the train again, slowly moving through time.

When Shinji came too, he was dead confused. Looking around to try and figure out what happened.

"Was…..was that all my….?"

"Yes, it was your imagination brought to life through an illusion. Better yet, you can create solid images. You're talented enough to achieve that level of power on your first try. I realize now that this isn't a necessity anymore, it's your destiny to have this power."

The being's face was that of appreciation and wonder. A look all too alien to Shinji's eyes. One that he reacts to by looking down at the floor, embarrassed as if he's done something wrong. The being simply guides his face back up to look her in the eyes.

"Do not be burdened by this power. Make it part of you. Use it to change the world around you. Remember your opponents to come and use this time to prepare."

The being stood up and started to walk away.

"How? How do you expect me to use this against my foes?" Shinji asks.

She turned around to respond.

"You made that apple real. You made it for me and only me. Use the same idea but put it on the offensive. If you need more hard-hitting music, simply search your device. Enhance your capabilities with those images, like creating instruments for instance. Don't use it too much, it'll make your head hurt again."

Shinji cringed at that statement. He knew that he never wanted to go through that again. Even now he could still feel his head pulsing in pain.

"One last thing." she said while raising her finger up. A finger that was now the deformed finger from before.

"Don't feel tied down to this world. If you need to go beyond your limits. Don't be afraid to try and fly. Just make sure you're listening to your music."

She began to walk away again. Her body slowly once again became the same deformed shape it was from before. Along with her skin disappearing. Before she vanished though, Shinji had to ask.

"What is your name?"

She turned again, this time looking at him with those invisible eyes. Though her smile was still human enough. Only problem is that it was still covered in blood.

"Eve."

Slowly, time went back to normal, and Eve seemed to fade away. Leaving Shinji alone on the train. The blood that covered his skin was gone. Time went back to normal, and the train was now moving at its normal speed. Heading all too fast towards Tokyo-3. Back to the place where he failed humanity. In his hand, was his SDAT player. His earphones were plugged in, and he had, from what he could remember from the last time he was here. Two hours to practice with whatever power this was.

He was shaking as he slowly got up. As he briefly considered if that was all a hallucination. If his previous experiences were simply a dream. Those things would be different than what he envisioned. Then, he hit play, the first song that played was not classical music or a Japanese pop song. It was a Beatles song, Yesterday, a song that hit harder now that he listened to it again. It seemed like a reflection of him at this moment.

With that, Shinji had an idea. He always liked foreign music more than Japanese music. Simply look at his taste in the classical genre. So, why not focus on those classics. Find those songs that reflected his soul, with the added "offensive" capabilities of rock and roll. So, just in case that this world was doing the same things over again. Whether he had been sent back in time or this was the new world he wanted. He would try to save it, in a new way. That wouldn't harm himself or those around him.

It was at that moment, that he realized he had stopped shaking. He wasn't that nervous anymore. It would come back if he knew himself well, but at least he would have a better plan to combat it. Other than getting in the damn robot, it would start with finding the songs. He pressed play and tried to figure out how his new device worked. Alongside attempting to figure out what songs reflected him and his situation.

He knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but nothing ever was in his life.

In the distance the Angel of Water, Sachiel, approaches the Japanese shoreline where U.N. Forces await its arrival. In the opposite direction, NERV employees and higher ups prepare the real solution to the problem. Closer by, a young woman whose duty is to command and lead them, speeds towards the train station in the next town over. So, she can pick up the young boy who is destined to be the death of her. Except now, while it was the same boy physically, he couldn't be anymore changed mentally.

As the train approaches closer to the station. The emergency system repeating the same lines over and over again. Warning people to evacuate and make it to the shelters located in the mountain. Started to gain more interference, as static interrupts it from time to time. Misato noticed this as she pulled into town. Looking out of her car window at the speaker system. Confused, but not all too surprised by the effectiveness of the engineers.

"They had to mess up something. There's a little Section 2 in all of us."

She scoffed to herself as she made fun of the security branch of NERV. Which she could poke holes in for days. Though her attention was quickly back on the speakers, when the speakers became nothing but static. With brief sounds of instruments in between. When she could make out what notes the instruments were playing, it started to sound familiar. Now she started to take back what she said about the Engineers, as it's clear that this wasn't their fault. This was interference from an outside force.

Eventually, Misato figured out what was playing. It was an all too familiar tune that was played all the time when she was a kid. The lyrics queued in to confirm that it was…a massive screeching sound followed it. Forcing Misato to cover her ears and roll up her windows. When it stopped, the speakers went back to the normal announcements. It was as if nothing had ever happened. Misato continued to drive, but kept her eyes peeled for signs of a possible hacker in the area. Instead, all she saw was abandoned cars and belongings. In the distance, she could hear the train coming into the station.

The train pulled in and stopped accordingly. The only passenger on that train was the young boy Shinji. Listening to his SDAT player, rocking his head to the beat. As the train car doors opened, the air was filled by his singing voice. He sang one of his new favorite songs.

"Oh life, it's bigger. It's bigger than you. And you are not me. The lengths that I will go to. The distance in your eyes."

Shinji walked through the station. Looking around at all the familiar surroundings. Taking in the slight nostalgia of the situation. He walked down the stairs towards the tunnel which connected to the main road. The echoing of his lyrics sounded ethereal and distant. Much like Eve's voice when she commanded him to do things.

"Oh no, I've said too much. I set it up. That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight. Losing my religion. Trying to keep up with you. And I don't know if I can do it. Oh no, I've said too much. I haven't said enough."

Shinji got to the doors and walked out to the street. This time, instead of walking to find a pay phone. He knew that things would go faster if he waited for Misato to pick him up. So, he stood there at the exit. Patiently waiting as the alarms went off in the distance. Still singing to keep himself entertained.

"I thought I heard you laughing. I thought I heard you sing. I thought I heard you try."

Eventually, Shinji stopped singing and took out his earphones. Because as much as he enjoyed singing about things in his life. Sometimes there was only so much he could take. So, he took in the quietness. The all too familiar sound and reminder, that no one lived in Tokyo-3. Because no one really believed in NERV's ability to defend human life. Shinji listened to it for a minute, before putting his earphones back in and listening to the rest of Losing My Religion.

It wasn't until the end of the song that Misato's car turned the street corner. Shinji cracked a small smile and waved for her attention. She pulled up and got out of her car, brushing her hair back like she always did.

"So, you must be Shinji Ikari."

"Yeah, and you must be," Shinji looked at the picture of her. Pretending to be his old ignorant self for the time being. "Ms. Katsuragi? Or is it Captain, what's your military position? You work for my dad after all."

"Ah, the observant type, huh? Well then, yes, I'm Captain Katsuragi technically, but you can simply call me Misato." she shook Shinji's free hand. He was a bit surprised by that, or at least he acted like it.

"Now, let's get this show on the road. We can talk more in the car." she clapped her hands and motioned for Shinji to hop in the passenger's seat.

He did so and soon they were off. Once they were driving, Misato brought up something she needed to tell the boy. Statements that he thought he knew were coming. Only to be caught off guard by one of them.

"I have two things to talk to you about, Shinji. One is about this evacuation; the other is a question for you."

Shinji played it cool though.

"Lay it on me," he responded.

"Alright, you're not going to believe this, but the emergency has been called due to an alien invasion."

Misato rightfully gave a look of being understandably mutual on how silly that sounded. Though Shinji's reaction semi-caught her off guard.

"Alright." is all he said.

There was a moment of silence, which was interrupted by Misato bursting out with laughter.

"That's your reaction?"

Shinji shrugged, "Yeah, I mean with the Second Impact happening and all. It seems fair to expect that something like aliens would show up. Anything could happen nowadays you know?"

"Hah, yeah, you're right."

Misato trailed off there at the end. She then looked off into the distance. Shinji was never one for reading people's emotions. Though even here he could tell something was off. But right as he was about to question her on it, Misato spoke up again.

"One last thing, when you were arriving here on the train. Did you hear anything off? Like was the announcement system on your train messing up or something?"

Shinji stayed quiet for a bit. As he had expected the first part to come up. Though he didn't know how to respond to this question. The boy had never lied in his life, and he wasn't the best at keeping secrets. He would always just turn away and stay quiet. Like whenever…. Misato tried to reach out to him….to understand his pain.

Shinji pulled out his SDAT player to show Misato.

"It was probably this."

She stared at it for a second, then back up to Shinji.

"That's just a cassette player. I don't think it has a radio, let alone hacking capabilities." Misato said with a joking smile.

"It wasn't hacking anything. Its range must've been set too far and was interfering with the alarm system."

Shinji turned a circular switch on the device.

"Now, it should only play music on the car radio. Got any recommendations?"

Misato looked at Shinji in confusion for a minute. Thinking that the boy was crazy due to his reactions. Though, a part of her wanted to go along with this. To see if he was telling the truth. After all, he was right. After the Second Impact, anything could happen.

"Alright, play The Impression That I Get by Mighty Mighty Bosstones."

Misato smirked, not expecting Shinji to get that reference. Only for the boy to start laughing.

"Ha Ha! I love that song!" he exclaimed.

Shinji then hit fast forward, stopping around ten seconds later. Then hit play, only for the radio to turn on suddenly. Blasting out a guitar riff, followed by drums and trumpets. Transforming into an incredibly catchy beat that Shinji bounced in his seat too. Moving his arms and tapping his feet to the beat. Then, he started singing along.

"Have you ever been close to tragedy? Or been close to folks who have? Have you ever felt the pain so powerful, so heavy you collapse?"

Shinji was smiling, but as he sang along. He pointed to himself and Misato, with the eyes of someone who had seen things they never wanted too. He clutched his chest and looked sad when he sang about pain. Only to shout along with the lead singer and really lean into said scream. So that way it sounded genuine.

"I've never had to knock on wood, but I know someone who has. Which makes me wonder if I could. It makes me wonder if I've never had to knock on wood. And I'm glad I haven't yet because I'm sure it isn't good. That's the impression I get."

Shinji couldn't help but sing along. He felt that the song really reflected who he was. Meanwhile, Misato's reaction was one for the ages. While she still had to concentrate on driving. She also kept looking at Shinji with genuine confusion and shock. She read that he was a shy and timid boy, who wasn't that much for talk outside of stating the obvious. Yet here he was, smiling and singing along to a song that had the most depressing lyrics.

Not only that, whatever this device was. It was more than just a music player. This had to be the work of some outside force. Or maybe some technology stolen from a tech lab. Though, it was kind of hard for Misato to think. Because the music wouldn't stop, and Shinji wouldn't stop singing along.

"Have you ever felt the odds stacked up so high, you need a strength most don't possess?

Or has it come down to do or die? You've got to rise above the rest. I've never had to knock on wood, but I know someone who has. It makes me wonder if I could. It makes me wonder if I've never had to knock on wood. And I'm glad I haven't yet, because I'm sure it isn't good. That's the impression that I get."

Shinji slowed down for this next part. He looked into Misato's eyes, like he was talking to her directly. All with a somber, trying to be understanding face.

"I'm not a coward, I've just never been tested. I'd like to think that if I was, I would pass. Look at the tested and think there but for the grace go I. Might be a coward, I'm afraid of what I might find out."

Only to turn back to look out the window. Jamming along and singing the lyrics.

The song slowed down and so did Shinji. Leaning back to look at his reflection in the window.

"Never have, I'd better knock-on wood. 'Cause I know someone who has. Wonder if I could, it makes me wonder if I've never had to. I'd better knock-on wood 'cause I'm sure it isn't good. And I'm glad I haven't yet, that's the impression that I get."

The song ended and Shinji simply sat there silently for a moment. Misato struggled to focus on the road. As she didn't know how to think right now. Then Shinji turned to her, smiled and said:

"So that's what that does."

Hi guys, A Writer With No Name here with another rendition of his stupid idea. This time with more 90s rock, but in all seriousness. This is the version of the story I'm going with. The other one isn't canon anymore. I might delete it, but there are too many moments in that that I poured my heart and soul into. So, it might stay up as an incomplete story. Unless anyone would like to adopt it. Be my guest, I'll give you the ideas I had for that one. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Leave reviews, I love to improve my stories. If anyone would like to volunteer to be my editor/beta writer, hit me up. Thanks, and have a nice day.

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