1 - Concern

A/N - My first fanfic! Starting the day after Fred's funeral, this story follows Hermione's navigation of the post-war Wizarding World...including her health struggles as a result of her torture, her developing relationship with Ron, her hesitation to testify at the Malfoy's trial, and her reunion with her parents. I'm not sure how long it will end up being or if I will touch on Hermione's post-Hogwarts life at all, but we'll see! I also haven't entirely figured out the narrative perspective of the story, but it will revolve around Hermione and those close to her. Enjoy!

Hermione Granger's stomach grumbled in hunger as she walked into the kitchen of the Burrow. An apple on top of the fruit bowl caught her eye, and she grinned at all the small luxuries surrounding her that they went so long without. It felt so strange to be on the other side...on the one hand, she relished in the fact that there were now infinite opportunities and she had her entire life ahead of her to look forward to. On the other hand, she was finding it hard to move on and there seemed to be constant reminders of the trauma they endured. Not to mention a newfound anxiety that came from being surrounded by all the residents of the Burrow 24/7...she wasn't used to all the attention and it set her on edge.

But this early morning, she had the kitchen all to herself. Although the circumstances for her being awake so early weren't ideal, she welcomed the peace and quiet, which was hard to come by at the Burrow. She would eat the apple and perhaps a bowl of oatmeal...at least she had an appetite. Growing up with two dentists, Hermione preferred to slice her apples before eating them, but as she reached for the knife, the precise movement caused her hand to start trembling uncontrollably (not uncommon lately...at least Ron and Harry hadn't noticed yet). She used a Severing Charm instead.

As she prepared the oatmeal, she let herself indulge in all the thoughts she'd been too occupied to think about in the last year. She couldn't let herself get distracted while they were on the run, but now she had all the time in the world to process the emotions that she bottled up for so long. She first thought of Ron. They never talked about the kiss between them in the Room of Requirement. Of course, Hermione knew what it meant, but she wondered if Ron felt the same way. The lack of privacy at the Burrow made it difficult for them to get any alone time, and she also knew that Ron needed space to grieve. But she was inpatient by nature and all the theoreticals were killing her.

Her mind then wandered to the nightmares that kept her up at night. She knew what these meant too, but that didn't make them any easier to manage. When they left Shell Cottage almost two weeks prior, adrenaline seemed to carry her through the battle and the days that followed. But everything rushed back very quickly after that...the trauma as fresh as it had been when she woke up from her torture, the aftershocks of the curse still as prominent. It was the worst at night, and she often woke up trembling or with muscle spasms and an uncomfortable burning sensation throughout her whole body...as she had on this day. Her body sometimes felt foreign, and even though it had been almost 6 weeks since that night at Malfoy Manor, her mind still felt disconnected. She couldn't help but wondering how long it took for Neville's parents to succumb to insanity after their torture. And, of course, she knew that everyone would want to help her, for which she was grateful, but she wanted her privacy. She wasn't ready to answer their questions or see Ron and Harry's faces fill with worry and guilt.

Then she remembered her parents. The first thought that crossed her mind once the battle ceased was that she could go find them and bring back their memories. But something kept stopping her. Maybe it was the fact that she lied to them, and she didn't want to face their disappointment. Or that she was no longer the daughter they knew...she lost her innocence and that would break their hearts. All the stories from the past year would need to be told, but she didn't want to relive them. They would ask questions that she didn't want to answer. Not to mention that she would need to leave Ron and the safety of the Burrow, and she wasn't ready to be alone.

"Hey!"

The sudden voice jerked Hermione away from her thoughts and made her jump. Without thinking, her right hand instinctively reached for her wand and she spun around in the direction of the noise. Completely losing control, her wand emitted sparks and set the kitchen table on fire.

Harry hastily cast an Extinguishing Spell as realization dawned on Hermione's face. It was just Harry...she was not in danger. Her heart still racing, Harry helped her sit down at the restored table.

"Merlin, Hermione, I'm sorry...I just thought I'd say 'good morning,'" he stammered, "I didn't mean to scare you!"

"No, no...I'm sorry," Hermione said, "I guess I'm just a little jumpy."

Hermione tried desperately hard to stop the trembling in her hands, but the strange thing was...she wasn't even nervous, and she wasn't convinced that anxiety had caused that reaction. She had never had particularly quick reflexes and had definitely never been victim of an involuntary movement like that. It was like her limbs acted on their own accord. Her brain had never failed her like that before. What was going on?

Thankfully, Harry didn't seem to think anything of it and reassured her that they were all a little on-edge after living in danger for nine months. He scooped the oatmeal into two bowls and sat down at the table with her.

"How's Ron?" Hermione asked abruptly. "It's just that Ginny cried herself to sleep last night after the funeral, quite understandably, and I didn't get a chance to talk to Ron and - "

"He's alright." Harry looked at her knowingly. "He was already awake when I woke up, so I suspect he'll be down soon. And umm...there's something I need to talk to you two about when he is."

Hermione had a feeling she knew what this was about. She had caught Harry and Kingsley deep in conversation after the funeral yesterday, and she could only assume that it was concerning their involvement in post-war affairs. She knew that multiple news outlets, especially The Daily Prophet, wanted a full account of their activities over the past year. She also knew that there were still many Death Eaters at large and the Auror Office would likely be seeking them out for any information they may have. And finally, the Wizengamot was just beginning a myriad of trials for accused Death Eaters, Snatchers, and other accomplices...and it was likely that they would be asked to testify.

"Good morning."

Hermione looked up from her oatmeal to see Ron sitting down across the table from her. She gave him a small smile, which he returned. Hermione noticed that his eyes were a bit bloodshot and suspected that he had been crying last night...she put her hand over his and squeezed it in support. Harry brought him a bowl of oatmeal and the three of them ate in a comfortable silence. Waking up at the crack of dawn almost every day for the past nine months made it hard for them to sleep in like the rest of the residents of the Burrow, but Hermione wasn't bothered by it.

"So, ummm...I was hoping the three of us could maybe talk," Harry started and Hermione could tell he was putting a lot of thought in what he was about to say. "So I spoke with Kingsley yesterday, and there's quite a bit that I should fill you guys in on. I know the timing sucks, but being war heroes comes with quite a few responsibilities. Oh and before I forget, we're all scheduled for physicals at St. Mungo's tomorrow morning...Kingsley's orders."

"What?" Hermione yelped. "That's completely unnecessary!"

"That was my initial reaction," Harry replied, shrugging, "But he insists that after everything we've been exposed to in the past year, we need to be evaluated. I mean...I technically died, so I understand where he's coming from."

Ron gave a small laugh, but Hermione filled with dread. Fleur had done an exceptional job healing her after her torture, especially given the circumstances, but Hermione couldn't help wondering if she had missed something. Were all her strange symptoms and tremors and episodes at night really just a coincidence? Not to mention that her period was nine weeks late...and she was never late. It was definitely possible that internal issues could have been missed, and Hermione feared what the evaluation would reveal. But it didn't really seem like she would have much of a choice, so she tried to put it out of her mind while Harry continued recapping his conversation with Kingsley.

"There have been a few new developments at the Ministry recently, but there's still been a lot of miscommunication regarding the ending of the war," Harry said. "He's really encouraging us to publicize an official statement about what happened and why everything worked out the way it did. Just so the public can know the truth."

"Well, I'd be alright with that," Ron said. "I think it's time for some closure anyway and that might help."

"And there's already some crazy rumors going around the press," Hermione added, "And this would set the record straight."

"The only thing is, anything we publicize could be used as evidence in the Wizengamot and I would like to be involved in as few cases as possible. So we'll just need to be really careful about how we present the story and what we decide to include. Kinglsey set up a meeting with an attorney for us next week, so we can start sorting that out. And if our testimonies are needed or if we decide to press charges, she'll be able to help us with that," Harry said.

"Sounds good to me," Ron said. "Hermione, what do you think?"

Hermione thought it sounded like a good idea at first, but she was definitely not planning on pressing charges or testifying in front of the Wizagamont if she could avoid it. "I just agree that we'll need to seriously consider what details we make public," she said.

Although she hadn't explicidly said it, she was relieved to see understanding dawn in Ron's eyes. "Hermione, no one is going to make you talk about that night at Malfoy Manor if you don't want to," he assured her. "Right, Harry?"

"Well, here's the thing," Harry said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, "The lawyer that Kingsley wants us to meet with is also the prosecuting attorney for the Malfoy trial, which is scheduled for August. She's probably looking for anything to use against them, and I just don't see how we can avoid publicizing something about Malfoy Manor...if we omit it, the events leading up to Gringotts and the Battle of Hogwarts just don't make sense. Kingsley actually assumed that we would want to be involved in the Malfoy trial, and I didn't want to have that conversation with him without Hermione, so I kind of just agreed to meet with this lady so as to not raise any suspicion. But don't worry...we'll work something out with her."

"I really appreciate you not mentioning anything to Kinglesy, Harry," Hermione said genuinely, "I really do. And you're right...we'll work something out."

"I mean, testifying might not be a horrible idea, Hermione," Ron said.

"Well, that's not for you to decide," Hermione replied as calmly as she could. "I'll need to think it over and discuss with a professional first before I make my decision."

But her decision was already made. If she couldn't bring herself to tell the Weasleys the truth about that night and was dreading a simple confrontation with a Healer...how could she relive it in front of the entire Wizarding World?